Unemployed Husband Keeps Interrupting His Working Wife With Requests And Chores, So She Installs A Lock, Sparks Family Drama
Working from home and the hybrid work system, as wonderful as I personally think they are, have their flaws. Even if you have a dedicated space for doing your work at home, there are bound to be interruptions if you live with your partner. Especially if you have kids.
You might love your soulmate and your little munchkins with your entire heart, but sometimes, you’ve got important business meetings to attend via Zoom. And you can’t get anything worthwhile done when you’re interrupted every five gosh-darn minutes. Some people solve this issue by talking with loved ones and setting firm boundaries during office hours. Others, like redditor Lock4356899, install actual locks on their doors to keep their loved ones at bay.
The redditor shared her story about what drove her to get a physical lock in the first place. According to her, her husband of 10 years kept interrupting her with various minor requests and chores that he could easily do himself. You’ll find the full story below, dear Pandas. Grab some tea and maybe even a small bag of popcorn—it’s a fun yet frustrating read.
Relationship and self-love coach Alex Scot gave Bored Panda some great insights into the importance of setting flexible boundaries with our loved ones and how to start up a conversation with your partner if they’re constantly interrupting you during your work hours. You might not need a lock for your door after all! You’ll find our interview with Alex below.
Working from home when you’ve got a partner and kids presents its own unique challenges
Image credits: Alan Levine (not the actual photo)
One redditor explained how her unemployed husband’s constant interrupting forced her into getting a lock so she could work in peace
Image credits: Lock4356899
Relationship coach Alex told Bored Panda that it’s “extremely important” that we have boundaries set up even with the people closest to us, our loved ones. “Without them, we live our lives at the expense of ourselves. The mindset for many when it comes to setting boundaries is that they feel selfish, or that they aren’t being a good partner when they implement them, so they avoid doing it altogether,” she explained why some people avoid having boundaries.
“This only causes resentment to build and overwhelm to set in both within the individual and the relationship as a whole. Boundaries are there for us to be able to take care of and to protect ourselves so that we can show up and operate within our lives as successfully as possible.”
The relationship coach told Bored Panda that she believes that flexible boundaries are better than strict ones within relationships. ” This means in cases of emergency or if a certain situation causes us to have to compromise, we are open to that. Boundaries that are too strict are unsustainable.
Alex was kind enough to walk Bored Panda through a situation where we might find ourselves slightly frustrated by our partner interrupting us during work hours, Zoom meetings, and other important job-related stuff. Having a conversation with your partner about this is paramount.
“Using The Gottman Institute’s soft start-up is a great way to kick off the conversation. An example of this is, ‘Hey I’ve noticed that you come into the room while I’m in Zoom meetings for work. We agreed that this can’t keep happening as it’s disruptive to my work. Can we chat about how to resolve this together?’ And then from here get curious to understand your partner and ask what they need from you,” Alex explained how we can set the stage for an in-depth talk to get to the root of the issue.
“Something like this is easily resolved with open communication and brainstorming ways to resolve this. Is it as simple as needing to communicate your schedule ahead of time and maybe post it on the refrigerator? Or maybe getting a door handle hanger that has ‘Do Not Disturb’ written on one side that they can flip while in meetings. Once you’ve brainstormed possible solutions, it turns into trial and error. Try one solution at a time and if needed course-correct going forward.”
Most redditors stood up for the woman and thought it was rude of her husband to distract her all the time
Just this week, I spoke about the fair division of chores with relationship and dating expert Dan Bacon, the founder of The Modern Man. He told Bored Panda that couples have to have honest conversations about practical issues like who does what chores and how the housework gets divided up between them. Failing to do so leads to resentment, unnecessary arguments, and can even lead to break-ups.
If one partner feels like they’re forced to do an unfair amount of housework, they need to speak up and resolve the issue instead of letting the tension build.
“Housework used to be seen as women’s work only, due to a man traditionally being the breadwinner and the woman staying at home all day. Yet, in today’s society, if both the man and woman are working, it’s more fair, loving, and respectful for both of them to contribute to keeping the house clean,” he said.
“On the other hand, if a man is the sole breadwinner and the woman stays home all day, many people would agree that she should do most or even all of the housework. That said, no one actually ‘has to’ do anything in a relationship,” the relationship expert explained that fairness is essential.
“A woman shouldn’t ever force a man to do housework and a man shouldn’t force a woman to do it either. Instead, the couple should honestly agree on what they feel is fair and then go with that. If it feels unfair to one of them, resentment will build up, arguments will happen and they will feel less connected and happy as a couple.”
WTF would he do if you weren't there, he sounds like he can barely function as an adult, let alone a father, he needs to sort himself out!
My thoughts exactly. When I started reading, I assumed his unemployment was related to the pandemic, but now I'm not so sure...
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I found most of his inabilities and emotional blackmail quite shocking. That is not to be tolerated on any level. The really shocking part as a grown man he was unable to put a tie on without assistance, just wow. I'm wondering if he knows how to use a knife & fork properly now.
Seriously!! How did he function before?? Also, I would 1000% be seriously considering divorce if I was in that situation. Not having the forethought of "my wife is working, I should leave her alone" is like the bare-freaking-minimum of respect. I can not even imagine what else he does, to show how little he actually respects his wife.
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The husband is a d**k. More so as he is asking you to do things he can do himself. Brush your own kids' hair FFS. I work from home and sometimes, if I have important calls, I have to block the door so my son can't come in. My wife leaves me alone, as she puts it: "It's like you're not here which suits me". Regarding the lock, the kids will understand if you explain it to them nicely.
Yeah. Like one of the commenters wrote, the kids will understand and accept it better than the husband does. You just need to explain it to them
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I needed two comments to write what you did in eight words. I bow to your superior writing skills! (Is there a non-sarcasm tag I can use?)
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If he's the one without a job, he should be the one to do the housework while his wife works
Just think of the money she'd save if she got rid of the biggest baby.
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She's working from home AND doing the chores AND apparently doing more than 50% of the childcare. What exactly is this sorry excuse for an adult bringing to the table? Ok, I've taken a deep breath, and what I think is happening here is he has taken deep, wounding damage to his ego, in that he is unemployed and his wife is not. His wife is providing for the family (over and above a normal share) while he is not. And while he might be seeking employment (who needs their tie fixing if they're just going to the pub with mates - that sounds like a job interview scenario to me), right now he is angry and frustrated by his own... there's no better word for it... impotence in contributing to the household, and he's taking it out on the wrong person.
After 25yrs in the military my father's job became obsolete. He could either retrain for another position or opt out. He opted out and became a house husband while he adjusted to civilian life. This meant doing more housework, running us kids to and from school, cooking, etc and he did it without a word of complaint. He never saw it as a downgrade or emasculation, just a new phase in life and doing what dads/husbands do. Actually now he looks back at that time fondly bc he got to spend so much time with us kids and strengthen bonds
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A little child who can't stand not being the center of attention and in addition, who tries to make her feel guilty. This guy is poisonous ...
I'm sorry. i know we're not supposed to make everything political, but i can't resist. Your comment made me think of...Donald Trump.
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Manchild deliberately sabotaging his wife's career. She needs a divorce, not a lock on the door.
This guy is ridiculous and why a lot of WFH couples ended in divorce, hello true colors. And my fave line was "I still do all the chores when I'm not working" but yet dude doesn't work???? umm he should be doing everything since you're the only one working at the moment. Or at the very least the majority. My fiance and I BOTH work. He WFH, I commute. So he does the majority of the house work because he is there and can fold laundry while on a call and doesn't want me to have to come home to it. If I am home on time, I make dinner and finish anything not done. On the weekends we split stuff and have our time. It isn't that hard. This man is is ridiculous.
This is a WAY bigger problem than just a lock on a door. * He is controlling and manipulative * He does not respect her * He is trying to sabotage her work * He is immature and irresponsible She needs to think hard about the long-term consequences of this relationship.
NTA. My spouse would barge into my space as I was taking exams for my masters degree to talk about where to put the dishes.
Who wanna bet kids don't give a s**t about it? He doesn't work, okay, fine, a good job is difficult to find, but he doesn't want to do any housework or take care of kids. What a leech.
I wish I had a separate room so I could put a lock on a door. I'm constantly being interrupted with my work. I don't like going into the office because it means uncomfortable business clothes, but I like the fact that I can put my head down and get more work done. I understand her pain.
It's called being passive aggressive. Husband has some serious issues perhaps relating to the income inequality, aka woman earning more, that seems to shred a man's ego. This marriage may be doomed. Counseling might help.
I'm not seeing anyone bringing up how passive-aggressive this BS is. And manipulative. And abusive. Someone did ask if this guy was on medications or should he be? Yeah, he should be, but he'd never do it. This smacks of mania. And control issues. The dynamic changed when she went to work at home. So, Cry Baby lost some self esteem. He has to step in and take up the slack. He has to have some *respect* for his wife and he clearly thinks she has a "place" and she needs to keep it, no matter what. He throws infantile temper tantrums. When you use your kids as blackmail fodder and humiliate your wife in front of people and think it's OK because they'd no doubt see how neglected YOU are then you need help. She needs to get away from this. When the kids get older and stop catering to daddy he'll get like this with them, too.
My abusive ex used to do this. One time he got mad at me for not helping him change the oil in the car. At 3pm. On a Tuesday. In the rain.
Never mind a lock, get a divorce from the loser. I don't now why he is unemployed but the least you can do is be an adult and help out so the person making a real income can f*****g do their job!
Good lord, he's totally the A. My wife and I have both been working at home for 10 years in a business that we run together. If she has a question for me, walks into my office and sees that I'm busy, she waits until I'm available and vice versa. Sometimes she locks her office door so she's not interrupted by me or the kids (who have been home for the last year-and-a-half). It can wait, dude. Or, you know, solve the problem yourself.
My friend admitted that she did the same thing to her husband. He would try to explain to her that working from home is the same as working in the office, but she'd be in and out of his "office" all day, asking for help with the chores or the kids. As a result, he fell behind in his work. I understand that it was only small things she'd ask for help with, but they all add up.
In admitting it did she acknowledge that she was being unfair and messed up?
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All I had to do was ready the title of this article to say that this guy is an ass.
THe fact that he asks her to take care of the kids while she's working, even though he also is a parent and free to do it himself. IT RIDICULOUS
honestly, maybe you should consider divorce. It is unfair for you to have to do all the heavy lifting and I don't think you would miss him. nor would your kids.
My mom has been working from home since the pandemic started. And my entire family knows and respects that when the office door is closed she's in a video conference no to be disturbed. That husband doesn't respect his wife's boundaries and then is surprised when she has to take measures to ensure those same boundaries. As my mom would say , "He needs to grow up."
I think somebody in the family needs to have a job. I can't imagine her 5 hours a day can support a family of 4 very long. Even if he gets unemployment that only lasts so long. Assuming they have savings it will soon be gone with her working 20 hours a week. The husband sounds like a helpless child. He can't tie his own tie, he needs help using the dishwasher, faucets etc? No wonder he is unemployed he would be a worthless employee especially if he cannot grasp the concept of her working from home. To make things worse he gets butt hurt by being locked out for 5 hours a day. She is NTA but has very low expectations in partners.
You're such a saint of a woman, you installed a lock, if he was my husband, he'd be getting a kick in the nutsack every time he f*****g interrupted my job with such bullshit. I still suggest you do that anyway. That'll stop his boundary crossing. What a piece of s**t to try and get your children on his side and undermine their mother's love for his insecure crap.
NTA my husband works from home im always in a different room or sitting in the same room quitely while he works. wen he has a meeting he brings his laptop outside to the deck and i always stay inside with the dog so he doesnt need to have her bother him. only time i ever interrupt him is to ask him if he would like some lunch cuz my husbands gotta eat right. i respect my husbands work time completely
Sounds like either the husband has some disorder which causes poor impulse control or he is a chauvinist who thinks that working women don’t do any serious job but it’s rather some kind of hobby (even when the woman brings food to the table) or he feels so emasculated he has to try to degrade her in front of her colleagues to make himself feel superior. I would say he is acting like a baby but that would insult babies.
Where did you go to medical school? Show us your published papers. Sometimes, people are just assholes. This is one of those times.
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She's the only one working! Me to hubby-feel free to go to work and I'll harass your ass.
Yeah sounds like the husband just isn't quite getting that you being home doesn't quite mean you being available . I am a person who doesn't always see what is obvious to everyone else . I would say that a serious discussion about the fact that you being working from home , means you're not home to be wife/mom... it means you working while at home. Lol. Honestly...it's not a stupidity thing , mine is related to ADHD and obviously you learn more as you get older and are able to see a situation the way anyone else would. I think often times people are quick to assume and quick to anger. It sounds like this guy just honestly wasn't understanding how much of a pain he was being
I would honestly want my partner to have a lock on their door if they were working from home just so that I didn't accidentally barge in on a video call, singing, or half naked, or whatever. Or, I would at least want a sign.
Some people go from their parents to a spouse. Perhaps they should take time to become who they are, a self sufficient, able adult before tackling wedded responsibility. Love is that. A fickle romantic notion and it feels so good and real. I am teaching my boy (9) how to cook, and even do minor sewing, and laundry and how to deal with household labor. Perhaps if more parents would incorporate this, our kids would not be so clueless .
I've worked from home for almost 10 years and I WISH i could lock a door. The amount of times I'm interrupted for no real reason drives me up the wall.
I am really keen to see a statistic abotu divorce rates after the pandemic. I've read and heard SO MANY stories of husbands being useless tits and women having to do all the heavy lifting.
I think, Corona has destroyed all illusions about how we women thought our environment perceives us. We are seen as the same functional non-persons who just exist to take care of others, just as we've been looked at for aoens. Mothers, Wifes, enablers. The only difference to the pervious centuries is that we are now also expected to bring home the bacon.
What got me is “please watch the oven while I take this phone call.” ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?!?! Phones do not have cords like they did years ago, and even if they did, they were really long! In today’s day and age you can set a timer almost literally ANYWHERE! Why does the wife need to be responsible for making your food? Oh jeez! I’d seriously question his ability to even so much as care for himself at this point.
This husband is acting like a bigger child than the two that they have. I don't know where he got the idea that interrupting your spouse's work is appropriate. When I was a senior in high school, my mom was in her last year of college and my sisters had recently moved out. My dad set up the room that used to be my sister's as my mom's study room. When she was in that room we did not bother her because she was studying. It sounds like this guy can't bring himself to understand that when his wife is in her office, it's work time. I hope everything works out for this lady.
I worked with a man like that. He was just insecure and needed to be seen. It was irritating, but I honestly don't think he was aware of what he was doing.
Jobless man child moaning that he is no longer the centre of attention. Absolutely 1000% NTA.
your husband is f*****g stupid enough to not respecting boundaries and work ethics. Like he never experienced working before. why don't he try to do the work (as a man should) then you can go fix everything he can't do!
I work nights. Some people have trouble wrapping their heads around the fact that I'm on the reverse of a normal schedule. I sleep during the day. Some of the people I work with have family members who constantly disrupt their sleep by coming into the bedroom while they are sleeping, calling them at all times of the day for stupid stuff etc... In regards to the later I recommended calling that person back at 0400 or such and then they usually get the point about the person's sleep schedule. I would think in the OPs case the lock seems similar to the phone call.
We're in a similar situation - I'm not unemployed, but I work for myself so I don't have to follow anyone else's timetable. My wife works for a corporate- I'd always check to see if she's online beforei I go in, unless I'm just refilling her coffee. Thinking about getting one of those "on air" signs.
If my sister and I were 30 years younger and still living at home, I would wonder if my mom wrote this.
Maybe a sign of "do not disturb- in a meeting" would have been a smaller gun to try and if that failed there would be obvious justification for the bigger gun of the lock.
She already told him to stop barging in. "I've talked to him about how this is impacting my work..." If he's so clueless and inconsiderate that he doesn't listen to her explanation, how is a sign going to help?
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This should work wonders for their marriage, putting their issues on the Internet.
She seems desperate. If I were in her shoes, I would be thinking of divorce before doing this. I note that she has nothing good at all to say about him, so I don't know why she is bothering.
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She TOLD him it was affecting her work. He continued to do it. He's an overgrown spoiled brat demanding that mommy pay attention to him. She was the only one bringing in money at the time this was written, so he needed to treat her job with respect.
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Sure because reddit isnt an international site with plenty of non native english speakers.
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That kind of nonsense misandry is just awful. For shame. Women aren't baby ovens, and men aren't sperm donors. They are both people. There are good and bad persons in almost every grouping of human that you can define.
Load More Replies... WTF would he do if you weren't there, he sounds like he can barely function as an adult, let alone a father, he needs to sort himself out!
My thoughts exactly. When I started reading, I assumed his unemployment was related to the pandemic, but now I'm not so sure...
Load More Replies... I found most of his inabilities and emotional blackmail quite shocking. That is not to be tolerated on any level. The really shocking part as a grown man he was unable to put a tie on without assistance, just wow. I'm wondering if he knows how to use a knife & fork properly now.
Seriously!! How did he function before?? Also, I would 1000% be seriously considering divorce if I was in that situation. Not having the forethought of "my wife is working, I should leave her alone" is like the bare-freaking-minimum of respect. I can not even imagine what else he does, to show how little he actually respects his wife.
Load More Replies... The husband is a d**k. More so as he is asking you to do things he can do himself. Brush your own kids' hair FFS. I work from home and sometimes, if I have important calls, I have to block the door so my son can't come in. My wife leaves me alone, as she puts it: "It's like you're not here which suits me". Regarding the lock, the kids will understand if you explain it to them nicely.
Yeah. Like one of the commenters wrote, the kids will understand and accept it better than the husband does. You just need to explain it to them
Load More Replies... I needed two comments to write what you did in eight words. I bow to your superior writing skills! (Is there a non-sarcasm tag I can use?)
Load More Replies... If he's the one without a job, he should be the one to do the housework while his wife works
Just think of the money she'd save if she got rid of the biggest baby.
Load More Replies... She's working from home AND doing the chores AND apparently doing more than 50% of the childcare. What exactly is this sorry excuse for an adult bringing to the table? Ok, I've taken a deep breath, and what I think is happening here is he has taken deep, wounding damage to his ego, in that he is unemployed and his wife is not. His wife is providing for the family (over and above a normal share) while he is not. And while he might be seeking employment (who needs their tie fixing if they're just going to the pub with mates - that sounds like a job interview scenario to me), right now he is angry and frustrated by his own... there's no better word for it... impotence in contributing to the household, and he's taking it out on the wrong person.
After 25yrs in the military my father's job became obsolete. He could either retrain for another position or opt out. He opted out and became a house husband while he adjusted to civilian life. This meant doing more housework, running us kids to and from school, cooking, etc and he did it without a word of complaint. He never saw it as a downgrade or emasculation, just a new phase in life and doing what dads/husbands do. Actually now he looks back at that time fondly bc he got to spend so much time with us kids and strengthen bonds
Load More Replies... A little child who can't stand not being the center of attention and in addition, who tries to make her feel guilty. This guy is poisonous ...
I'm sorry. i know we're not supposed to make everything political, but i can't resist. Your comment made me think of...Donald Trump.
Load More Replies... Manchild deliberately sabotaging his wife's career. She needs a divorce, not a lock on the door.
This guy is ridiculous and why a lot of WFH couples ended in divorce, hello true colors. And my fave line was "I still do all the chores when I'm not working" but yet dude doesn't work???? umm he should be doing everything since you're the only one working at the moment. Or at the very least the majority. My fiance and I BOTH work. He WFH, I commute. So he does the majority of the house work because he is there and can fold laundry while on a call and doesn't want me to have to come home to it. If I am home on time, I make dinner and finish anything not done. On the weekends we split stuff and have our time. It isn't that hard. This man is is ridiculous.
This is a WAY bigger problem than just a lock on a door. * He is controlling and manipulative * He does not respect her * He is trying to sabotage her work * He is immature and irresponsible She needs to think hard about the long-term consequences of this relationship.
NTA. My spouse would barge into my space as I was taking exams for my masters degree to talk about where to put the dishes.
Who wanna bet kids don't give a s**t about it? He doesn't work, okay, fine, a good job is difficult to find, but he doesn't want to do any housework or take care of kids. What a leech.
I wish I had a separate room so I could put a lock on a door. I'm constantly being interrupted with my work. I don't like going into the office because it means uncomfortable business clothes, but I like the fact that I can put my head down and get more work done. I understand her pain.
It's called being passive aggressive. Husband has some serious issues perhaps relating to the income inequality, aka woman earning more, that seems to shred a man's ego. This marriage may be doomed. Counseling might help.
I'm not seeing anyone bringing up how passive-aggressive this BS is. And manipulative. And abusive. Someone did ask if this guy was on medications or should he be? Yeah, he should be, but he'd never do it. This smacks of mania. And control issues. The dynamic changed when she went to work at home. So, Cry Baby lost some self esteem. He has to step in and take up the slack. He has to have some *respect* for his wife and he clearly thinks she has a "place" and she needs to keep it, no matter what. He throws infantile temper tantrums. When you use your kids as blackmail fodder and humiliate your wife in front of people and think it's OK because they'd no doubt see how neglected YOU are then you need help. She needs to get away from this. When the kids get older and stop catering to daddy he'll get like this with them, too.
My abusive ex used to do this. One time he got mad at me for not helping him change the oil in the car. At 3pm. On a Tuesday. In the rain.
Never mind a lock, get a divorce from the loser. I don't now why he is unemployed but the least you can do is be an adult and help out so the person making a real income can f*****g do their job!
Good lord, he's totally the A. My wife and I have both been working at home for 10 years in a business that we run together. If she has a question for me, walks into my office and sees that I'm busy, she waits until I'm available and vice versa. Sometimes she locks her office door so she's not interrupted by me or the kids (who have been home for the last year-and-a-half). It can wait, dude. Or, you know, solve the problem yourself.
My friend admitted that she did the same thing to her husband. He would try to explain to her that working from home is the same as working in the office, but she'd be in and out of his "office" all day, asking for help with the chores or the kids. As a result, he fell behind in his work. I understand that it was only small things she'd ask for help with, but they all add up.
In admitting it did she acknowledge that she was being unfair and messed up?
Load More Replies... All I had to do was ready the title of this article to say that this guy is an ass.
THe fact that he asks her to take care of the kids while she's working, even though he also is a parent and free to do it himself. IT RIDICULOUS
honestly, maybe you should consider divorce. It is unfair for you to have to do all the heavy lifting and I don't think you would miss him. nor would your kids.
My mom has been working from home since the pandemic started. And my entire family knows and respects that when the office door is closed she's in a video conference no to be disturbed. That husband doesn't respect his wife's boundaries and then is surprised when she has to take measures to ensure those same boundaries. As my mom would say , "He needs to grow up."
I think somebody in the family needs to have a job. I can't imagine her 5 hours a day can support a family of 4 very long. Even if he gets unemployment that only lasts so long. Assuming they have savings it will soon be gone with her working 20 hours a week. The husband sounds like a helpless child. He can't tie his own tie, he needs help using the dishwasher, faucets etc? No wonder he is unemployed he would be a worthless employee especially if he cannot grasp the concept of her working from home. To make things worse he gets butt hurt by being locked out for 5 hours a day. She is NTA but has very low expectations in partners.
You're such a saint of a woman, you installed a lock, if he was my husband, he'd be getting a kick in the nutsack every time he f*****g interrupted my job with such bullshit. I still suggest you do that anyway. That'll stop his boundary crossing. What a piece of s**t to try and get your children on his side and undermine their mother's love for his insecure crap.
NTA my husband works from home im always in a different room or sitting in the same room quitely while he works. wen he has a meeting he brings his laptop outside to the deck and i always stay inside with the dog so he doesnt need to have her bother him. only time i ever interrupt him is to ask him if he would like some lunch cuz my husbands gotta eat right. i respect my husbands work time completely
Sounds like either the husband has some disorder which causes poor impulse control or he is a chauvinist who thinks that working women don’t do any serious job but it’s rather some kind of hobby (even when the woman brings food to the table) or he feels so emasculated he has to try to degrade her in front of her colleagues to make himself feel superior. I would say he is acting like a baby but that would insult babies.
Where did you go to medical school? Show us your published papers. Sometimes, people are just assholes. This is one of those times.
Load More Replies... She's the only one working! Me to hubby-feel free to go to work and I'll harass your ass.
Yeah sounds like the husband just isn't quite getting that you being home doesn't quite mean you being available . I am a person who doesn't always see what is obvious to everyone else . I would say that a serious discussion about the fact that you being working from home , means you're not home to be wife/mom... it means you working while at home. Lol. Honestly...it's not a stupidity thing , mine is related to ADHD and obviously you learn more as you get older and are able to see a situation the way anyone else would. I think often times people are quick to assume and quick to anger. It sounds like this guy just honestly wasn't understanding how much of a pain he was being
I would honestly want my partner to have a lock on their door if they were working from home just so that I didn't accidentally barge in on a video call, singing, or half naked, or whatever. Or, I would at least want a sign.
Some people go from their parents to a spouse. Perhaps they should take time to become who they are, a self sufficient, able adult before tackling wedded responsibility. Love is that. A fickle romantic notion and it feels so good and real. I am teaching my boy (9) how to cook, and even do minor sewing, and laundry and how to deal with household labor. Perhaps if more parents would incorporate this, our kids would not be so clueless .
I've worked from home for almost 10 years and I WISH i could lock a door. The amount of times I'm interrupted for no real reason drives me up the wall.
I am really keen to see a statistic abotu divorce rates after the pandemic. I've read and heard SO MANY stories of husbands being useless tits and women having to do all the heavy lifting.
I think, Corona has destroyed all illusions about how we women thought our environment perceives us. We are seen as the same functional non-persons who just exist to take care of others, just as we've been looked at for aoens. Mothers, Wifes, enablers. The only difference to the pervious centuries is that we are now also expected to bring home the bacon.
What got me is “please watch the oven while I take this phone call.” ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?!?! Phones do not have cords like they did years ago, and even if they did, they were really long! In today’s day and age you can set a timer almost literally ANYWHERE! Why does the wife need to be responsible for making your food? Oh jeez! I’d seriously question his ability to even so much as care for himself at this point.
This husband is acting like a bigger child than the two that they have. I don't know where he got the idea that interrupting your spouse's work is appropriate. When I was a senior in high school, my mom was in her last year of college and my sisters had recently moved out. My dad set up the room that used to be my sister's as my mom's study room. When she was in that room we did not bother her because she was studying. It sounds like this guy can't bring himself to understand that when his wife is in her office, it's work time. I hope everything works out for this lady.
I worked with a man like that. He was just insecure and needed to be seen. It was irritating, but I honestly don't think he was aware of what he was doing.
Jobless man child moaning that he is no longer the centre of attention. Absolutely 1000% NTA.
your husband is f*****g stupid enough to not respecting boundaries and work ethics. Like he never experienced working before. why don't he try to do the work (as a man should) then you can go fix everything he can't do!
I work nights. Some people have trouble wrapping their heads around the fact that I'm on the reverse of a normal schedule. I sleep during the day. Some of the people I work with have family members who constantly disrupt their sleep by coming into the bedroom while they are sleeping, calling them at all times of the day for stupid stuff etc... In regards to the later I recommended calling that person back at 0400 or such and then they usually get the point about the person's sleep schedule. I would think in the OPs case the lock seems similar to the phone call.
We're in a similar situation - I'm not unemployed, but I work for myself so I don't have to follow anyone else's timetable. My wife works for a corporate- I'd always check to see if she's online beforei I go in, unless I'm just refilling her coffee. Thinking about getting one of those "on air" signs.
If my sister and I were 30 years younger and still living at home, I would wonder if my mom wrote this.
Maybe a sign of "do not disturb- in a meeting" would have been a smaller gun to try and if that failed there would be obvious justification for the bigger gun of the lock.
She already told him to stop barging in. "I've talked to him about how this is impacting my work..." If he's so clueless and inconsiderate that he doesn't listen to her explanation, how is a sign going to help?
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This should work wonders for their marriage, putting their issues on the Internet.
She seems desperate. If I were in her shoes, I would be thinking of divorce before doing this. I note that she has nothing good at all to say about him, so I don't know why she is bothering.
Load More Replies... She TOLD him it was affecting her work. He continued to do it. He's an overgrown spoiled brat demanding that mommy pay attention to him. She was the only one bringing in money at the time this was written, so he needed to treat her job with respect.
Load More Replies... Sure because reddit isnt an international site with plenty of non native english speakers.
Load More Replies... That kind of nonsense misandry is just awful. For shame. Women aren't baby ovens, and men aren't sperm donors. They are both people. There are good and bad persons in almost every grouping of human that you can define.
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