Heartbreaking Post On Euthanasia From A Vet That Has To Perform It Goes Viral
Whenever we have to let go of our beloved pets, the pain is unbearable. In fact, the emotions overwhelm us so much, we forget about the rest of the world. And that’s only natural. But many times, there’s someone sharing the hurt. In the cases of euthanasia, for example, it’s the carrier of death. Recently, Brenda Gough from Burford, Ontario penned an emotional Facebook post, explaining how the vets feel when pushing the needle into our little buddies, taking them to the other side.
Brenda’s honesty is vivid in every word of the text, which has already received over 112K reactions and 123K shares. And while it can’t bring back our pets, knowing that there’s somebody who’s going through the crushing experience with you might just make it a little bit easier.
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Brenda is a small animal veterinarian, mostly dealing with dogs and cats, and owns an equestrian facility. “I have been a veterinarian for 24 years, and I grew up in a vet clinic as my dad was a vet as well,” she told Bored Panda.
Usually, she carries out one or two euthanasias every week. “I [also] have had the rare occasion where there are 3-4 in one day and that is really hard on me and my staff.” After these experiences, Brenda tries to make sure she gets some alone time – vacations, time with family (who are really supportive of what she does).
“The thoughts I’ve shared in my Facebook post have been on my mind for awhile, but that night they just came out – I sat down and wrote them in under five minutes – the words just flowed, real and raw and unplugged.”
“I honestly didn’t mean to cause so many people to ugly cry,” Brenda added. “It wasn’t my intent to have this go viral – it clearly struck a chord with people all over the world. I have had kind messages from New Zealand, Texas, British Columbia, to name just a few places far far away that it has reached. I am just a vet in Brantford, Ontario.”
She also pointed out that suicide rates are extremely high among veterinarians and veterinary caregivers. “It is my sincerest hopes that veterinarians everywhere will read the incredibly positive comments (there are over 25,000!) and know that they are loved, needed, and very much respected. If reading those comments will save even one life, then it is worth it.”
As difficult as this topic is, it has a brighter side. Every year, 6.5 million animals enter U.S. animal shelters – 3.3 million dogs and 3.2 million cats. Also, 1.5 million shelter animals are euthanized every year (670,000 dogs and 860,000 cats). And even though this number can seem shockingly high, it actually has been declining. For example, back in 2012, the total figure was 2.6 million while in 2009, it was 3.7 million. During the 1970s, the number of cats and dogs euthanized in the U.S. stood even higher – at over 20 million.
Since then, large-scale activism, industry professionalization and shifting cultural attitudes have helped limit euthanasia, The New York Times said. “Society is no longer willing to say, ‘Well, there’s just too many animals and not enough homes,” Richard Avanzino, a longtime activist known as the father of the “no-kill” movement, stated.
“Rescuing an animal has become a badge of honor,” said Matt Bershadker, the president and chief executive of the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals. “People proudly go to dog parks and walk around their neighborhoods talking about the animal that they rescued from a shelter.”
Here’s how people reacted to the emotional post
please people, be in the room when your beloved animal goes. you are who they look for because they know something bad is about to happen. the vets are always super emotional as well and will blubber with you, but I think its super important your pet knows you were there until the end <3
Never leave, as hard as it is, stay. The vet I use has a little room that you can stay with your pet for a while afterwards. I didn't leave for over an hour after I let my girl go this summer. It helped. I hope others have access to this.
I really wanted to hold my last one when she went but we got her as a rescue at 7 and she was so damaged that she always had to be wrapped in a towel at the vets because she lashed out. But she trusted me implicitly (because she could claw and bite me and I wouldn't retaliate, I would always love her and not judge) but the look she gave me when she went still haunts me, it was pure terror and just "rescue me". I couldn't do that again, clawing or not, I'd need to hold them when they went and I really wish I had then but the vet wouldn't let me.
You need a new vet. No one should do that. I was looking directly into my dogs eyes when she passed. My nose an inch from hers and she licked me immediately before she passed. I will never forget it. And she was calm and felt safe. The fact that she/he feels safe because you are there right before they pass is of the utmost importance.
@Jaffa Cake: I had a similar experience as you when our dog went home, the vet's wife got to hold our dog when I really would have wanted to do that myself. It was not as it should have been. I just wanted to say to you that, imo, it was but a moment in a lifetime of love, and that in the end that lifetime's worth of love is what will stay with them when they cross over. I'm also convinced that people who have really loved their animals will see them again. She knew you loved her, that's all that matters.
So you think forcing people to do something that might scar them is okay? What the fuck is wrong with you? How about we force you to attend every funeral open-casket? How about we force you to watch a video of evry medical procedure that you want to go trough? I'm sure you'd love to watch a cesarian right before being carted into one, right? Not everybody can watch their pet dying. And also, PETS DO NOT KNOW. They don't have a PDH in chemistry, they don't read the shot label. Unless they have crippling separation anxiety, they do. Not. Know. That anything 'wrong' is happening.
I remember being in the vet's office when a receptionist took a call, she explained the ins and outs of the process, then the person on the phone said something like "we'll drop her off, at such and such a time" , I remember the reception being absolutely floored and saying "you mean you are not going to be here with her", then there was a pause, then the receptionist said "well you can drop her off, but that isn't usually how it is done" then proceeded to ask follow up questions about whether they wanted her cremated and stuff, then the vet came out, she told him what was going on and he refused to do it, unless the family or a family member was there! I have been with every one of mine except one, they called and said she had a massive stroke and was suffering and wanted consent to euthanize immediately, it would have been cruel to keep her alive until I could get there, so I consented over the phone, because it was the right thing to do.
That's difficult for some people because they get very enotional and most animal's instincts are to comfort someone in distress. If they are unable to do so, it stresses them out and it's a vicious circle. Sometimes it's better to wait outside and let the vet do it. I have been with all my animals but I respect an owners decison not to be their, unless it's for selfish reasons (an unemotional owner who sees it a 'just a dog')
What matters most is that the devotion they have given is reciprocated at their last moments. They need to know the ones they love are there. Who'd want to die surrounded by strangers?
I was also VERY emotional but I'm a big enough person to make it about the animal, not about myself. I LOST it when her heart stopped but I was there for her.
I could never be a vet, so much heartbreak. I held my beautiful dog 'Bubbles' when she was put to sleep and it was the most heartbreaking thing I have ever had to do. I didn't want to let her go but she had an aggressive cancer that was starting to constrict her breathing. This was over 5 years ago and I still miss her dearly.
I’m so sorry Foxxy. Holding your precious pet in your arms as life slips away is beyond horrific. RIP sweet Bubbles
I wouldn't have had it any other way, I wanted her to know how much she was still loved before she passed. It was so quick and peaceful for her anyway. A quick injection and she slipped away almost immediately. I will always remember her, she was such an amazing dog.
My dog is also named Bubbles. She turns 8 in about 2 weeks and I am dreading the day she passes. Losing a pet is always hard :c
We had to put our cat down and I miss her so much.
I'm am so very sorry for your loss... <3
please people, be in the room when your beloved animal goes. you are who they look for because they know something bad is about to happen. the vets are always super emotional as well and will blubber with you, but I think its super important your pet knows you were there until the end <3
Never leave, as hard as it is, stay. The vet I use has a little room that you can stay with your pet for a while afterwards. I didn't leave for over an hour after I let my girl go this summer. It helped. I hope others have access to this.
I really wanted to hold my last one when she went but we got her as a rescue at 7 and she was so damaged that she always had to be wrapped in a towel at the vets because she lashed out. But she trusted me implicitly (because she could claw and bite me and I wouldn't retaliate, I would always love her and not judge) but the look she gave me when she went still haunts me, it was pure terror and just "rescue me". I couldn't do that again, clawing or not, I'd need to hold them when they went and I really wish I had then but the vet wouldn't let me.
You need a new vet. No one should do that. I was looking directly into my dogs eyes when she passed. My nose an inch from hers and she licked me immediately before she passed. I will never forget it. And she was calm and felt safe. The fact that she/he feels safe because you are there right before they pass is of the utmost importance.
@Jaffa Cake: I had a similar experience as you when our dog went home, the vet's wife got to hold our dog when I really would have wanted to do that myself. It was not as it should have been. I just wanted to say to you that, imo, it was but a moment in a lifetime of love, and that in the end that lifetime's worth of love is what will stay with them when they cross over. I'm also convinced that people who have really loved their animals will see them again. She knew you loved her, that's all that matters.
So you think forcing people to do something that might scar them is okay? What the fuck is wrong with you? How about we force you to attend every funeral open-casket? How about we force you to watch a video of evry medical procedure that you want to go trough? I'm sure you'd love to watch a cesarian right before being carted into one, right? Not everybody can watch their pet dying. And also, PETS DO NOT KNOW. They don't have a PDH in chemistry, they don't read the shot label. Unless they have crippling separation anxiety, they do. Not. Know. That anything 'wrong' is happening.
I remember being in the vet's office when a receptionist took a call, she explained the ins and outs of the process, then the person on the phone said something like "we'll drop her off, at such and such a time" , I remember the reception being absolutely floored and saying "you mean you are not going to be here with her", then there was a pause, then the receptionist said "well you can drop her off, but that isn't usually how it is done" then proceeded to ask follow up questions about whether they wanted her cremated and stuff, then the vet came out, she told him what was going on and he refused to do it, unless the family or a family member was there! I have been with every one of mine except one, they called and said she had a massive stroke and was suffering and wanted consent to euthanize immediately, it would have been cruel to keep her alive until I could get there, so I consented over the phone, because it was the right thing to do.
That's difficult for some people because they get very enotional and most animal's instincts are to comfort someone in distress. If they are unable to do so, it stresses them out and it's a vicious circle. Sometimes it's better to wait outside and let the vet do it. I have been with all my animals but I respect an owners decison not to be their, unless it's for selfish reasons (an unemotional owner who sees it a 'just a dog')
What matters most is that the devotion they have given is reciprocated at their last moments. They need to know the ones they love are there. Who'd want to die surrounded by strangers?
I was also VERY emotional but I'm a big enough person to make it about the animal, not about myself. I LOST it when her heart stopped but I was there for her.
I could never be a vet, so much heartbreak. I held my beautiful dog 'Bubbles' when she was put to sleep and it was the most heartbreaking thing I have ever had to do. I didn't want to let her go but she had an aggressive cancer that was starting to constrict her breathing. This was over 5 years ago and I still miss her dearly.
I’m so sorry Foxxy. Holding your precious pet in your arms as life slips away is beyond horrific. RIP sweet Bubbles
I wouldn't have had it any other way, I wanted her to know how much she was still loved before she passed. It was so quick and peaceful for her anyway. A quick injection and she slipped away almost immediately. I will always remember her, she was such an amazing dog.
My dog is also named Bubbles. She turns 8 in about 2 weeks and I am dreading the day she passes. Losing a pet is always hard :c
We had to put our cat down and I miss her so much.
I'm am so very sorry for your loss... <3