This Woman Gives Tips On How To Treat A Loved One During A Depression Episode
With around 300 million people suffering from depression worldwide, chances are that someone close to you is affected by this condition too. Sadly, the stigma surrounding mental illness is still very common, so it prevents people not only from seeking help but also to avoid talking about their ailment to family members and friends. Despite depression being one of the most common mental illnesses, those who have never experienced it don’t have the means and knowledge of how to support and help their loved ones. This only furthers the social isolation that depressed people might be already experiencing. So, now you are probably wondering what can you do to help someone with depression?
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Twitter user, Aleeya, took to social media to explain what they could do to help their loved ones during a depressive episode.
Image credits: aleeyaderige
Image credits: aleeyaderige
Image credits: aleeyaderige
These tips help us not only to increase understanding and empathize better with people who suffer from depression but also help save relationships.
Image credits: aleeyaderige
Image credits: aleeyaderige
Image credits: aleeyaderige
Image credits: aleeyaderige
After reading Aleeya’s tips, some people were prompted to add their own, others thanked her for sharing them and wished more people would understand the things she mentioned.
After reading the thread people added their own tips
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Here’s what others had to say
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Share on FacebookAnd please stop saying 'You are too negative', 'you are always complaining/ grumpy/ sad' o 'You just expected too much from life'.... This things break us, really.
I lost one of my best friends because of her saying them. She ment well but after that I was too selfconcious to tell her anything important... So I became super akward (after all I felt I had nothing important/positive enough to say) and we started talking less and less...
Load More Replies...I read the first tweet and nothing else. "Having someone in your life with depression means being prepared for any and all episodes." No. "Someone in your life"? Maybe if they are your minor children. Otherwise, no. If you love and care about them, you should be caring, compassionate, try to educate yourself. But to be "prepared for any and all episodes" implies that you are in full control and fully responsible for that other person's mental state. No one can or should be given that responsibility. It's too much. It's ridiculous and selfish. I say this as a life-long sufferer of depression. It reminds me of the people with borderline personality disorder who instead of learning to function expect everyone around them to adjust and coddle the disorder with a long list of dos and donts.
I aggree a lot, but not completly. Being prepared can mean different things: if it means - be prepared to fix any episodes with your actions - of course, this is wrong. If it is just meant as: be prepared for the unexpected in knowing what may happen - then its completly fine!
Load More Replies...Other things to keep in mind: EVERYONE'S depression is different. Some folks can function to one degree or another, but after work shut down, unable to sleep/eat/function. It is also not fair to any depressive to "bootstrap" themselves better. You wouldn't expect a diabetic to start to produce insulin by just trying harder, so why expect a depressive to start producing neurotransmitters without help.
While that is true, everyone has to take some responsibility for their own illness. A diabetic shouldn't expect you to supply them with insulin, or keep track of their treatment. If a diabetic expected me to come to their house and cook low-carb foods for them, I would not feel obligated to do so. If they asked me for help with menu planning, I would admit I am not qualified to do that and they should seek professional advice. It is the same with depression. I will try to love you and support you, but I cannot be in charge of your recovery or your treatment. If you ask me for help, I will help you with what I can and I will tell you to seek professional help for things I cannot assist with. You can't get rid of depression simply by trying harder, but you still have to put in some effort. If you give up, why should expect me to pull your weight? I will be there to encourage you, while you work at it.
Load More Replies...Seek psychiatric help! If you break your little finger, you'll head straight to the hospital. You can function well enough even without your pinkie, but you do not function with depression. Go to a doctor. And please avoid any psychologist who tries to convince you that you became ill with depression because your thoughts are negative. They are only out to empty your pocket and they will do nothing that will not prolong your suffering. Being ill with depression is what makes your thoughts negative. Depression is a terrible and terrifying illness that feeds itself with your altered behaviour. The last thing anyone who is suffering from depression needs to hear is that it is their own fault. And no, you cannot simply pick yourself up. That is like saying to someone who lies in the middle of the road with a broken leg after being hit by a bus that "if you just want to, you can get up and walk away like nothing has happened".
Thank you. I would upvote your comment a hundred times if I could.
Load More Replies...Get your depressed loved one on medication. Go with them to the GP, if necessary. Medication won't 'fix' them, but the right meds do help, a lot. I've been living with depression for 10+ years, and I find that anti-depressants get me to functional, and give me the motivation to do the theraputic, lifestyle, and selfcare things that give me quality of life. But don't think you can fix them. Love doesn't fix mental illness.
I'm sure it would be amazing to receive this kind of support, but unfortunately I don't believe it could happen to me. My depression has made a big comeback, this year was/is a true disaster and I just don't have the will and power to fight with it anymore, since my partner for almost seven years (and a friend for about ten) has decided that he just can't take this anymore and he started a new life without me, just like that. I can’t even blame him, I’m just broken even more than I was. Please show your loved ones that they can fight and win with depression. Don’t let them struggle alone. Knowing what you should do and actually doing this, well, that makes a huge difference. Don’t forget about yourself, too. Stay strong as a team. Bless you all.
One thing-- she says to understand them, but sometimes its hard to do that. Be there for them, even when you don't understand, that's what you should do, because there will be times when you don't understand.
It is important to tace care of your loved ones. And sometimes it's okay to just stay in bed or to go home because they don't feel like socializing. But the most important thing I learnd from myself is, you have to overcome your fears. I had depressions for a long time. But I learnd to kick my a*s and stand up, go out, even if it's only for a walk. Don't just encourage your people in their depression. Help them to overcome them...
Get some help. Go to your doctor. Depression doesn't magically improve. If anything, it becomes worse. Deal with your f*****g depression instead of being so offended by those who don't understand it. Quit normalizing depression. It's not f*****g normal and it's not something the non-depressed should have to walk on egg shells about. When I was depressed and had terrible anxiety my husband took me to the doctor. He wasn't going to let me fall into a deeper hole than the one I was already in. The doctor has been treating me with Zoloft. I feel almost great.
This is the second time I have communicated the deceitful actions of others to beings that they proclaim to be an significant other, if these individuals are really some one whom you care about than you would not post or gossip about an emotion their coping with. Why? Because some individuals stress is due to inappropriate content and support from persons who were "helping" I think if you read my comment you would understand why I posted a comment instead of reading the passage written. Never add insult to injury. Never pretend to care, and never forget that!
Nono....please don't give me space. That's the opposite of what I need. This might be advice for like, 75% of people but no ones the same and blanket advice doesnt work the same for all
It's amazing that you wouldn't let a social media celebrity to do a brain surgery on you, but they can give you clinical psychology advices without problem...
So I have depression, ptsd and borderline. I wanted to say that it's very cool of you to share this odd wisdom and I wanted to point out the fact that sometimes we CANNOT talk to anyone. Sometimes even breathing is so draining, that we just paying attention to our surroundings takes so much effort and when people try to engage us in conversation it feels as if you're going to drown. BUT we LOVE you. Please don't leave us. Just knowing you are still our friend or lover gives us som much strength or endurance. We are temporarily incapable of showing you this in a commonly acceptable and sociable way, but we lean on you even if you don't know it, you are our strength even if you are unaware. Instead of judging the relationship by 'normal' standards, look at the life your friend or lover is actually living and see that you are one of the few we make the effort to see/call/write. Even if it is below society's standards, you're probably one of less than a handful of people we see
I have a friend with severe depression. All of this is so true. As a friend of some one with depression, is it very difficult for me to see her suffer. Her husband does not support her at all, which is soooo sad and only makes it worse. And also, my grandma and aunt suffered from depression. They, how ever, lost the battle.
Get them a puppy!!! I was having a very hard time after my last miscarriage and my boyfriend surprised me with a puppy for Christmas. She brought me out of it so quickly and easily, hard to stay in bed all day when there's unconditional love waiting for you to take her for a walk and feed her and care for her. It's a little thing but it can make a complete life change
Even though it is nice to hear it worked for you, most people with depression can barely take care of themselves. Giving them a living creature to take care of could end *very* badly and could just add more stress to their life :/
Load More Replies...This post make me feel depression. If I have friends who could do all this things for me, to care so much for me and understand my behavior ,to be there for me... I think a big part of my depression would be gone because the cause, It was a bad dream. Loneliness is the demon who follow me....
I thought the same thing - I wish I had just one person in my life who understood this, rather than lots of people who only want to be around when I'm doing well. Thinking of you and wishing you all the best in your journey <3
Load More Replies...I totally agree but ...... what if the person with depression gets angry and feels belittled by there own depression ..and will take no niceness and caring and just shuts you out when u understand more than anything because you also suffer, but have to hold it together for sake of kids n work but come home to not only cope with yr own ..but have someone u love with depression almost compete and blame u .. then be great next minute ???
This is so accurate. And some people need to understand that when someone has Depression stemmed from previous trauma, they can't just "let it go". Telling them they need to just move on already can break them further. It hurts. Instead, maybe try to understand without bringing it up every other second saying "Oh, it's alright, I'll support you!" just, be respectful.
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You know, I've been through such c**p. I scored a perfect 100% in the official scale for depression. And I was given a trick or treat assortment of various drugs. One had me falling out of bed, walking with a cane, tipping over in grocery stores if I took a deep knee bend to look at something in the bottom shelf. I had to practice writing my name every day until one day, another drug was prescribed. It has been increased in dosage and now I'm going to go see about bipolar disorder soon because. Whoohoo! 100%. I have been diagnosed with major stress disorder. And every sonogram, angiogram, mri's etc. have all been normal. I have been one of the seminar topics at a dental conference in Hawaii because I have to have novacainne every ten minutes. Also hypo thyroid. I have weighed as little as 118 and as much as 189. And at 65. I'm just realizing the people who make just getting out of bed or getting an answer are 99.9% of the problem. And I've learned what I can do to feel right and ok.
If I am so depressed that I am just lying in bed all day do NOT lie with me. Check in quietly from time to time but give me space. If I am crying and upset offer to hold me but don't assume it's what I want. More often than not I don't want to be touched. I've already got more than enough input that I can't handle more. Thankfully I have cultivated with my friends and family that more often than not I don't want to talk on the phone. Try text, if I'm up to it, I'll respond. If it's an emergency I'll respond immediately. "I read that people with depression (or anxiety) want this (insert whatever)" I appreciate you're trying, I really do, but we're all different. Please understand that saying no isn't no appreciating your effort
One of my struggles is I have NO reason to be down. I suffer from a condition similar to bipolar, without the highs. I am not alone, but lonely.
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And don't tell them to exercise or socialize. Whenever I read that people with depression should exercise what I hear is, "you're supposed to TORTURE yourself with the one thing you hate most in the world! Suffer! Suffer! You're EVIl!!! You deserve the worst possible torment!"
Firstly i was privilege enough not to read this post in such, entirely. My reasoning Why? Because if you are some beings significant anything you do not post private information about others on purpose. Such is a solicitation to gather information and views. In fact upon doing such, you yourself would be a contributing factor to their trust of others. If you need Advice structure yourself to an individual who would delight in understanding rather than checks and balances from others whom reflection of self to post hatred or others is a decline of their morals not the "sick" individuals... Just my opinion
Wait... when I’m having a depression fit I just want to be left alone. I don’t want anyone to bother me
It is if you're not actively trying to heal those wounds and using them as an excuse.
Load More Replies...What actually helps me with my depression is listening to BTS and watching their videos online. They spread such happiness and beautiful messages. I’m actually learning little by little to love myself because of them. If I didn’t find them when I did I honestly don’t think I would be here right now. For me, they were the help I needed. The step to get better. To smile more. To treat my body better. To get myself help. I’m really thankful for BTS.
I don't get depressed. I get even! It's all about perception and reaction. If those voices of disparity come into your head you need to crowd them out with fun and joy. Go to the mountains, go to the river. Nature is a healer. Go to the sea. Just go and don't let the bad take over. This is your life.
if you speak to anyone suffering from this disease the answer will be: I WISH IT WAS THAT SIMPLE! This illness is not a choice and your comment is everything we sure do not need to hear: the get over it attitude
Load More Replies...This advice is trash. If itry to hold my wife she'd punch me. Stupid leftist snowflake b******t.
And please stop saying 'You are too negative', 'you are always complaining/ grumpy/ sad' o 'You just expected too much from life'.... This things break us, really.
I lost one of my best friends because of her saying them. She ment well but after that I was too selfconcious to tell her anything important... So I became super akward (after all I felt I had nothing important/positive enough to say) and we started talking less and less...
Load More Replies...I read the first tweet and nothing else. "Having someone in your life with depression means being prepared for any and all episodes." No. "Someone in your life"? Maybe if they are your minor children. Otherwise, no. If you love and care about them, you should be caring, compassionate, try to educate yourself. But to be "prepared for any and all episodes" implies that you are in full control and fully responsible for that other person's mental state. No one can or should be given that responsibility. It's too much. It's ridiculous and selfish. I say this as a life-long sufferer of depression. It reminds me of the people with borderline personality disorder who instead of learning to function expect everyone around them to adjust and coddle the disorder with a long list of dos and donts.
I aggree a lot, but not completly. Being prepared can mean different things: if it means - be prepared to fix any episodes with your actions - of course, this is wrong. If it is just meant as: be prepared for the unexpected in knowing what may happen - then its completly fine!
Load More Replies...Other things to keep in mind: EVERYONE'S depression is different. Some folks can function to one degree or another, but after work shut down, unable to sleep/eat/function. It is also not fair to any depressive to "bootstrap" themselves better. You wouldn't expect a diabetic to start to produce insulin by just trying harder, so why expect a depressive to start producing neurotransmitters without help.
While that is true, everyone has to take some responsibility for their own illness. A diabetic shouldn't expect you to supply them with insulin, or keep track of their treatment. If a diabetic expected me to come to their house and cook low-carb foods for them, I would not feel obligated to do so. If they asked me for help with menu planning, I would admit I am not qualified to do that and they should seek professional advice. It is the same with depression. I will try to love you and support you, but I cannot be in charge of your recovery or your treatment. If you ask me for help, I will help you with what I can and I will tell you to seek professional help for things I cannot assist with. You can't get rid of depression simply by trying harder, but you still have to put in some effort. If you give up, why should expect me to pull your weight? I will be there to encourage you, while you work at it.
Load More Replies...Seek psychiatric help! If you break your little finger, you'll head straight to the hospital. You can function well enough even without your pinkie, but you do not function with depression. Go to a doctor. And please avoid any psychologist who tries to convince you that you became ill with depression because your thoughts are negative. They are only out to empty your pocket and they will do nothing that will not prolong your suffering. Being ill with depression is what makes your thoughts negative. Depression is a terrible and terrifying illness that feeds itself with your altered behaviour. The last thing anyone who is suffering from depression needs to hear is that it is their own fault. And no, you cannot simply pick yourself up. That is like saying to someone who lies in the middle of the road with a broken leg after being hit by a bus that "if you just want to, you can get up and walk away like nothing has happened".
Thank you. I would upvote your comment a hundred times if I could.
Load More Replies...Get your depressed loved one on medication. Go with them to the GP, if necessary. Medication won't 'fix' them, but the right meds do help, a lot. I've been living with depression for 10+ years, and I find that anti-depressants get me to functional, and give me the motivation to do the theraputic, lifestyle, and selfcare things that give me quality of life. But don't think you can fix them. Love doesn't fix mental illness.
I'm sure it would be amazing to receive this kind of support, but unfortunately I don't believe it could happen to me. My depression has made a big comeback, this year was/is a true disaster and I just don't have the will and power to fight with it anymore, since my partner for almost seven years (and a friend for about ten) has decided that he just can't take this anymore and he started a new life without me, just like that. I can’t even blame him, I’m just broken even more than I was. Please show your loved ones that they can fight and win with depression. Don’t let them struggle alone. Knowing what you should do and actually doing this, well, that makes a huge difference. Don’t forget about yourself, too. Stay strong as a team. Bless you all.
One thing-- she says to understand them, but sometimes its hard to do that. Be there for them, even when you don't understand, that's what you should do, because there will be times when you don't understand.
It is important to tace care of your loved ones. And sometimes it's okay to just stay in bed or to go home because they don't feel like socializing. But the most important thing I learnd from myself is, you have to overcome your fears. I had depressions for a long time. But I learnd to kick my a*s and stand up, go out, even if it's only for a walk. Don't just encourage your people in their depression. Help them to overcome them...
Get some help. Go to your doctor. Depression doesn't magically improve. If anything, it becomes worse. Deal with your f*****g depression instead of being so offended by those who don't understand it. Quit normalizing depression. It's not f*****g normal and it's not something the non-depressed should have to walk on egg shells about. When I was depressed and had terrible anxiety my husband took me to the doctor. He wasn't going to let me fall into a deeper hole than the one I was already in. The doctor has been treating me with Zoloft. I feel almost great.
This is the second time I have communicated the deceitful actions of others to beings that they proclaim to be an significant other, if these individuals are really some one whom you care about than you would not post or gossip about an emotion their coping with. Why? Because some individuals stress is due to inappropriate content and support from persons who were "helping" I think if you read my comment you would understand why I posted a comment instead of reading the passage written. Never add insult to injury. Never pretend to care, and never forget that!
Nono....please don't give me space. That's the opposite of what I need. This might be advice for like, 75% of people but no ones the same and blanket advice doesnt work the same for all
It's amazing that you wouldn't let a social media celebrity to do a brain surgery on you, but they can give you clinical psychology advices without problem...
So I have depression, ptsd and borderline. I wanted to say that it's very cool of you to share this odd wisdom and I wanted to point out the fact that sometimes we CANNOT talk to anyone. Sometimes even breathing is so draining, that we just paying attention to our surroundings takes so much effort and when people try to engage us in conversation it feels as if you're going to drown. BUT we LOVE you. Please don't leave us. Just knowing you are still our friend or lover gives us som much strength or endurance. We are temporarily incapable of showing you this in a commonly acceptable and sociable way, but we lean on you even if you don't know it, you are our strength even if you are unaware. Instead of judging the relationship by 'normal' standards, look at the life your friend or lover is actually living and see that you are one of the few we make the effort to see/call/write. Even if it is below society's standards, you're probably one of less than a handful of people we see
I have a friend with severe depression. All of this is so true. As a friend of some one with depression, is it very difficult for me to see her suffer. Her husband does not support her at all, which is soooo sad and only makes it worse. And also, my grandma and aunt suffered from depression. They, how ever, lost the battle.
Get them a puppy!!! I was having a very hard time after my last miscarriage and my boyfriend surprised me with a puppy for Christmas. She brought me out of it so quickly and easily, hard to stay in bed all day when there's unconditional love waiting for you to take her for a walk and feed her and care for her. It's a little thing but it can make a complete life change
Even though it is nice to hear it worked for you, most people with depression can barely take care of themselves. Giving them a living creature to take care of could end *very* badly and could just add more stress to their life :/
Load More Replies...This post make me feel depression. If I have friends who could do all this things for me, to care so much for me and understand my behavior ,to be there for me... I think a big part of my depression would be gone because the cause, It was a bad dream. Loneliness is the demon who follow me....
I thought the same thing - I wish I had just one person in my life who understood this, rather than lots of people who only want to be around when I'm doing well. Thinking of you and wishing you all the best in your journey <3
Load More Replies...I totally agree but ...... what if the person with depression gets angry and feels belittled by there own depression ..and will take no niceness and caring and just shuts you out when u understand more than anything because you also suffer, but have to hold it together for sake of kids n work but come home to not only cope with yr own ..but have someone u love with depression almost compete and blame u .. then be great next minute ???
This is so accurate. And some people need to understand that when someone has Depression stemmed from previous trauma, they can't just "let it go". Telling them they need to just move on already can break them further. It hurts. Instead, maybe try to understand without bringing it up every other second saying "Oh, it's alright, I'll support you!" just, be respectful.
Hey Man💋 do u want to see me naked? 💚Go to private broadcast for u and me, 💚I want to fulfill all your sexual fantasies💋 =>> hotdatgirl.site/id5396
You know, I've been through such c**p. I scored a perfect 100% in the official scale for depression. And I was given a trick or treat assortment of various drugs. One had me falling out of bed, walking with a cane, tipping over in grocery stores if I took a deep knee bend to look at something in the bottom shelf. I had to practice writing my name every day until one day, another drug was prescribed. It has been increased in dosage and now I'm going to go see about bipolar disorder soon because. Whoohoo! 100%. I have been diagnosed with major stress disorder. And every sonogram, angiogram, mri's etc. have all been normal. I have been one of the seminar topics at a dental conference in Hawaii because I have to have novacainne every ten minutes. Also hypo thyroid. I have weighed as little as 118 and as much as 189. And at 65. I'm just realizing the people who make just getting out of bed or getting an answer are 99.9% of the problem. And I've learned what I can do to feel right and ok.
If I am so depressed that I am just lying in bed all day do NOT lie with me. Check in quietly from time to time but give me space. If I am crying and upset offer to hold me but don't assume it's what I want. More often than not I don't want to be touched. I've already got more than enough input that I can't handle more. Thankfully I have cultivated with my friends and family that more often than not I don't want to talk on the phone. Try text, if I'm up to it, I'll respond. If it's an emergency I'll respond immediately. "I read that people with depression (or anxiety) want this (insert whatever)" I appreciate you're trying, I really do, but we're all different. Please understand that saying no isn't no appreciating your effort
One of my struggles is I have NO reason to be down. I suffer from a condition similar to bipolar, without the highs. I am not alone, but lonely.
Hey..💚 Are you sex giant? 💋i wait you here!! 💚Write me!! >> hotdatgirl.site/id5396
And don't tell them to exercise or socialize. Whenever I read that people with depression should exercise what I hear is, "you're supposed to TORTURE yourself with the one thing you hate most in the world! Suffer! Suffer! You're EVIl!!! You deserve the worst possible torment!"
Firstly i was privilege enough not to read this post in such, entirely. My reasoning Why? Because if you are some beings significant anything you do not post private information about others on purpose. Such is a solicitation to gather information and views. In fact upon doing such, you yourself would be a contributing factor to their trust of others. If you need Advice structure yourself to an individual who would delight in understanding rather than checks and balances from others whom reflection of self to post hatred or others is a decline of their morals not the "sick" individuals... Just my opinion
Wait... when I’m having a depression fit I just want to be left alone. I don’t want anyone to bother me
It is if you're not actively trying to heal those wounds and using them as an excuse.
Load More Replies...What actually helps me with my depression is listening to BTS and watching their videos online. They spread such happiness and beautiful messages. I’m actually learning little by little to love myself because of them. If I didn’t find them when I did I honestly don’t think I would be here right now. For me, they were the help I needed. The step to get better. To smile more. To treat my body better. To get myself help. I’m really thankful for BTS.
I don't get depressed. I get even! It's all about perception and reaction. If those voices of disparity come into your head you need to crowd them out with fun and joy. Go to the mountains, go to the river. Nature is a healer. Go to the sea. Just go and don't let the bad take over. This is your life.
if you speak to anyone suffering from this disease the answer will be: I WISH IT WAS THAT SIMPLE! This illness is not a choice and your comment is everything we sure do not need to hear: the get over it attitude
Load More Replies...This advice is trash. If itry to hold my wife she'd punch me. Stupid leftist snowflake b******t.
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