A Video Of A Guy Explaining An Easy Yet Brilliant Way To Make Friends As An Adult Went Viral With Almost 6M Views
Do you remember times when you would come home from school and your parents would ask how your day went and more importantly “did you make any friends”? And of course, friends are one of the most essential things in our lives. As they say, you can’t choose family, but you sure can find the best people to become friends with. There are certainly a lot of places where one can find friends: I guess some of us still have contact with our friends from childhood or school. Also, places like university or work are very common to start a long-lasting friendship.
More Info: TikTok
It could be quite challenging to make friends and the truth is that with years it’s not getting easier
Image credits: Greg Walters
However, the sad truth is that the older you get, the harder it is to find friends. And we might think that we are the only ones that are struggling with this. Until one day, one TikTok user asked people in this online community how they make friends as an adult. Connor Miller, who is a Community Marketing Coordinator at Discord, answered this question by giving a few simple examples of how people can make friends.
This TikTok user asked how adult people make friends
Image credits: carrotitty
And she got a simple but precise answer that also drew the attention of other users who struggle to find friends
Image credits: connorthemiller
He first noted that we have no problem finding friends when we are young because we go to the same place for a long time. For example, school or university. The first key in making friends is to show up someplace regularly so that people there could remember you.
What is important in a friendship is to share some kind of interest or viewpoint. Think of things you want to do or try and go for them, as Connor says in this video “If you are a familiar face in a place where people share your interests, you’ll make friends”.
Image credits: connorthemiller
The video with 1.4M views got 13.2k comments that were very pleased with Connor sharing his simple insights on how to find friends. “The dude cracked the code”, joked some of the users, some agreed with the video creator sharing their own experiences of finding their BFF. Connor’s advice was so successful that some of the people were also asking how they should find true love.
Image credits: connorthemiller
Of course, with the current events taking place, a lot of places being closed and our movement being limited, we cannot go out there and explore our options fully and simply make friends at a coffee shop. But with today’s technology, we are still able to connect with other people. As the author of the video suggests, try to go to the same platforms (he talks about Twitch streams in particular) and make connections there. One day this is all going to be over and we will be able to meet our (new) friends.
Image credits: carrotitty
Check out the full video below
@connorthemiller#stitch with @carrotitty♬ Castaways – The Backyardigans
Why having friends is so important?
Besides keeping you company and being there for you, friends also keep you healthy. Having someone to talk to or a shoulder to cry on, friends prevent us from feeling lonely and depressed. Simply said, friends keep us sane. If you have a friend who loves sports or is very active, benefit from that, as running alongside them will make your own body stronger. Friends can also help us to develop healthy behaviours or encourage us to try new things or something we were dreaming about for a long time but never got the guts to do it. Good friends are there to help you to become a better person by giving you a push when needed, to share their own experiences and help when you are struggling and to celebrate your achievements together.
Other TikTok users are happy to find this video as Connor “cracked the code” on how to find friends
TikTok users not only shared their experiences in the comments but also kept asking for some more advice on how to find rich friends or true love
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I can't make friends. Oh well, I guess I'll just have to sit alone. with my cats. watching movies. Really, what a shame.
Problem is my cats don't even like me and refuse to hang out 😿
Load More Replies...
Take regular classes at a Gym. I would take the same classes weekly. Soon you learn people's names and they come to expect you in the class and are disappointed if you miss one. It's a great support system and I have developed some good friendships that go beyond the gym. It takes time but as long as you put yourself out there, and are open to talking to strangers, eventually you will find a friend :)
I'm too socially anxious and introverted. I've been volunteering at a place two days a week for over a year. Lovely people, get on fine there, but could never imagine being friends outside the workplace. How does that even happen? They all ready have friends and lives, why would they invite me into their 'outside' lives?
Load More Replies...
As an "Adult" if you don't have Extra Money (to join clubs/classes ect) Esp if you are "Different" what can one do?
Park districts and public libraries often have free clubs and events
Load More Replies... Even though his advice might not work for everyone, bless this young dude for encouraging us older folks to find new friends -- especially since COVID-19 has made it even harder to get outside of your usual routines.
Went to the same church regularly for 15 years. Result: zero friends but a friendly acquaintance with Asperger's syndrome. I suspect we have something in common.
to make friends: "go to the same place often" ah yes the sky is blue
All my adult life I have done a job that is having a role to play. When one is a nurse, believe it or not, there's a script when you start talking to someone. Things you always ask about & talk about. It does not work when you're out in the world. I would meet new people everyday. Sometimes a lot of people everyday. No problem. Away from there I find it hard to know what to say. Any kind of conversation is very difficult. I have tried joining groups & do ask them questions about themselves. I am a nice kind person. But you sit with people & try to join in & their body language says you are being excluded. Even in a group I'm already in and chatting well, if other people join the group it's the body language again. So, yes, i spend most of my time on my own. It's less frustrating that way. I'm not fond of it but I just go with what has always been the flow where I live now. Oh gee! Why don't you join the 55+ club? Because it's the 80+ club. For those who find all this easy, lucky you.
There’s actually two parts to this. You have to be nice to other people, too.
& if it's not returned? I find it easier to talk to total strangers than my own family.
Load More Replies...
And if you're new at school just follow the nice kids around until you make friends. Don't worry about coming across as annoying and clingy.
And then you get screw up from School friends and then from workplace friends and you are done with everything and happy to be alone. :)
6M views is viral now? Only my city has 15M population and it is not a super important city either. I feel this website overeacts over stuff that is not really that interesting.
"Now how do I find true love" that comment is asking the right questions lol
True love is a fantasy. True friendship is hard to find as well. A friendship develops over time after getting to know someone, not an immediate contact. Making friends is difficult because people aren't willing to make time for each other, whether purposely or due to other obligations in their lives & are therefore acquaintances rather than friends.
Load More Replies... Volunteering, join a club you are interested in learning the subject of IE: ham radio, gardening, native plants, join a Y or gym. Hook up with a hiking or photography club, learn archery..so many ways. My personal favorite, knock on your neighbors doors and introduce yourself, she want you have in common. I have half a dozen awesome neighbors, we watch out for each other.
Doesn't really work. I have friends at work. I don't see them outside work and I will stop talking to them when I change jobs. Does that really count as real friends?
I've made friends at my city's Film Festival that way. True its only an 8-day run, once a year but, everyone there already knows they have one thing in common. People are always chatty there (lots of waiting in lines). And, after you see a few of the same faces for a couple of days, introductions happen naturally. I've met some great people!
Also you can volunteer at the Film Festival. I lived in Birmingham, AL for 5 years and became deeply involved with the festival there. I volunteered and eventually became part of the screening process there and hospitality crew, ( I got to spend time with visiting filmmakers, directors and actors). My time there and because of my involvement with the festival I had the most fun and friends of my life for the 5 years there. On my 35 birthday, I was thrown my first party and over 30 people surprised me with a dinner at a fancy Japanese restaurant, I will never forget turning the corner and seeing all those faces there for me) I am crying now.
Load More Replies...
I joined a community chorale. A wonderful group of people. I also found Twitch, and have connected with people around the world!
Jeez, people, you make things so difficult! Whatever you like to do, find where it's happening, go there and talk to people. Find classes you are interested in, everyone in the room has chosen to be there. Put down the phone, get out of your car, get off the internet -- talk to people, help people, volunteer in ways that you life . . . clean up a park, work a soup kitchen, read what's happening at the library. Too easy for everyone to lie on the internet. Get into the real world!
Says the person taking posts like this incredibly serious while on the internet. Just saying.
Load More Replies...
Well, there's no video on here for me, at least, but looking at the photos, I'd say that's worthless advice. Go to a café, do a class. That's how you make friends. There's a little more to it than that!
Starting at the age of 12 my family moved almost every year due to my fathers work. I have attended 7 different schools including 4 different high schools, and 2 separate colleges. As an adult I have lived in 8 different states and 10 different cities. I have travelled to over 50 major cities. Because of this I am extremely adapt in social situations but at the end of the day I go home, and prefer to be alone. I have made many acquaintances, and a few fleeting friendships. This I can say with total confidence, friends, not buddies to hang out at cafes or party with, but true friends are extremely rare in adulthood. This is true because of one enormous reason, work, to establish and maintain a friendship takes work and constant nurturing. It does not just magically happen because you are a familiar face. Like so many of us, our best friends are those from childhood or adolescents. If you have nurtured those friendships, you can remain close all your life.
Also, be the kind of friend you want to have. Lower your expectations because people make mistakes and it's not about you. Nobody owes you anything, friendship is not transactional. Lastly, you are the common denominator in your friendships. If "everyone disappoints you" the problem is you.
How to make friends if you're an adult?Don't be a tiktoker that is obsessed with it's own face on every video.This doesn't make you look like an adult,more like a narcissistic fool...
I can't make friends. Oh well, I guess I'll just have to sit alone. with my cats. watching movies. Really, what a shame.
Problem is my cats don't even like me and refuse to hang out 😿
Load More Replies... Take regular classes at a Gym. I would take the same classes weekly. Soon you learn people's names and they come to expect you in the class and are disappointed if you miss one. It's a great support system and I have developed some good friendships that go beyond the gym. It takes time but as long as you put yourself out there, and are open to talking to strangers, eventually you will find a friend :)
I'm too socially anxious and introverted. I've been volunteering at a place two days a week for over a year. Lovely people, get on fine there, but could never imagine being friends outside the workplace. How does that even happen? They all ready have friends and lives, why would they invite me into their 'outside' lives?
Load More Replies... As an "Adult" if you don't have Extra Money (to join clubs/classes ect) Esp if you are "Different" what can one do?
Park districts and public libraries often have free clubs and events
Load More Replies... Even though his advice might not work for everyone, bless this young dude for encouraging us older folks to find new friends -- especially since COVID-19 has made it even harder to get outside of your usual routines.
Went to the same church regularly for 15 years. Result: zero friends but a friendly acquaintance with Asperger's syndrome. I suspect we have something in common.
to make friends: "go to the same place often" ah yes the sky is blue
All my adult life I have done a job that is having a role to play. When one is a nurse, believe it or not, there's a script when you start talking to someone. Things you always ask about & talk about. It does not work when you're out in the world. I would meet new people everyday. Sometimes a lot of people everyday. No problem. Away from there I find it hard to know what to say. Any kind of conversation is very difficult. I have tried joining groups & do ask them questions about themselves. I am a nice kind person. But you sit with people & try to join in & their body language says you are being excluded. Even in a group I'm already in and chatting well, if other people join the group it's the body language again. So, yes, i spend most of my time on my own. It's less frustrating that way. I'm not fond of it but I just go with what has always been the flow where I live now. Oh gee! Why don't you join the 55+ club? Because it's the 80+ club. For those who find all this easy, lucky you.
There’s actually two parts to this. You have to be nice to other people, too.
& if it's not returned? I find it easier to talk to total strangers than my own family.
Load More Replies... And if you're new at school just follow the nice kids around until you make friends. Don't worry about coming across as annoying and clingy.
And then you get screw up from School friends and then from workplace friends and you are done with everything and happy to be alone. :)
6M views is viral now? Only my city has 15M population and it is not a super important city either. I feel this website overeacts over stuff that is not really that interesting.
"Now how do I find true love" that comment is asking the right questions lol
True love is a fantasy. True friendship is hard to find as well. A friendship develops over time after getting to know someone, not an immediate contact. Making friends is difficult because people aren't willing to make time for each other, whether purposely or due to other obligations in their lives & are therefore acquaintances rather than friends.
Load More Replies... Volunteering, join a club you are interested in learning the subject of IE: ham radio, gardening, native plants, join a Y or gym. Hook up with a hiking or photography club, learn archery..so many ways. My personal favorite, knock on your neighbors doors and introduce yourself, she want you have in common. I have half a dozen awesome neighbors, we watch out for each other.
Doesn't really work. I have friends at work. I don't see them outside work and I will stop talking to them when I change jobs. Does that really count as real friends?
I've made friends at my city's Film Festival that way. True its only an 8-day run, once a year but, everyone there already knows they have one thing in common. People are always chatty there (lots of waiting in lines). And, after you see a few of the same faces for a couple of days, introductions happen naturally. I've met some great people!
Also you can volunteer at the Film Festival. I lived in Birmingham, AL for 5 years and became deeply involved with the festival there. I volunteered and eventually became part of the screening process there and hospitality crew, ( I got to spend time with visiting filmmakers, directors and actors). My time there and because of my involvement with the festival I had the most fun and friends of my life for the 5 years there. On my 35 birthday, I was thrown my first party and over 30 people surprised me with a dinner at a fancy Japanese restaurant, I will never forget turning the corner and seeing all those faces there for me) I am crying now.
Load More Replies... I joined a community chorale. A wonderful group of people. I also found Twitch, and have connected with people around the world!
Jeez, people, you make things so difficult! Whatever you like to do, find where it's happening, go there and talk to people. Find classes you are interested in, everyone in the room has chosen to be there. Put down the phone, get out of your car, get off the internet -- talk to people, help people, volunteer in ways that you life . . . clean up a park, work a soup kitchen, read what's happening at the library. Too easy for everyone to lie on the internet. Get into the real world!
Says the person taking posts like this incredibly serious while on the internet. Just saying.
Load More Replies... Well, there's no video on here for me, at least, but looking at the photos, I'd say that's worthless advice. Go to a café, do a class. That's how you make friends. There's a little more to it than that!
Starting at the age of 12 my family moved almost every year due to my fathers work. I have attended 7 different schools including 4 different high schools, and 2 separate colleges. As an adult I have lived in 8 different states and 10 different cities. I have travelled to over 50 major cities. Because of this I am extremely adapt in social situations but at the end of the day I go home, and prefer to be alone. I have made many acquaintances, and a few fleeting friendships. This I can say with total confidence, friends, not buddies to hang out at cafes or party with, but true friends are extremely rare in adulthood. This is true because of one enormous reason, work, to establish and maintain a friendship takes work and constant nurturing. It does not just magically happen because you are a familiar face. Like so many of us, our best friends are those from childhood or adolescents. If you have nurtured those friendships, you can remain close all your life.
Also, be the kind of friend you want to have. Lower your expectations because people make mistakes and it's not about you. Nobody owes you anything, friendship is not transactional. Lastly, you are the common denominator in your friendships. If "everyone disappoints you" the problem is you.
How to make friends if you're an adult?Don't be a tiktoker that is obsessed with it's own face on every video.This doesn't make you look like an adult,more like a narcissistic fool...
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