Daughter Is Upset Her Parents Only Listen To Her When They Need Money, So She Doesn’t Give Them Any Despite Them Being Homeless
It’s a weird feeling to realize that your parents actually don’t know everything and that they can make mistakes with their decisions. When you are little, you rely on your parents to be guided through life and it seems that they have everything together and always know what the next step is.
You may go through your rebellious teenage stage, but when you grow up, you realize that your parents don’t have a clear understanding of how the world works and you may have more experience with it. Reddit user snd19i tried to explain to her parents that they were making poor financial decisions, but they ignored her and now are asking her to give them money, which she thinks she shouldn’t do.
More info: Reddit
Woman is tired of her parents spending money irresponsibly and is not willing to give them her own even though they are homeless
Image credits: James Abbott (not the actual photo)
The Original Poster (OP) is 27 years old and she isn’t living with her parents anymore and wouldn’t want to because they are that terrible with money. When she was little, her dad invested all of the family savings of $100k in penny stocks that he lost during the 2008 economic crisis. The family of three had to move into a bedroom, but that didn’t teach the parents a lesson.
The mom joined an MLM and, of course, she lost money. But that didn’t stop the parents from trying to take an illegal loan from the government just to be scammed by a broker that the daughter warned them about. She actually tried to take away the pen her dad was signing the contract with, but he screamed at her and just ignored all of the evidence she was providing them with.
The OP’s parents made one bad financial decision after another that led the family to live together in just one bedroom
Image credits: snd19i
Now the parents are living in their car and don’t have money for even the cheapest apartments. They turned for help to their only daughter, who has $100k saved for her future home, and want some of that money.
The daughter has a good feeling that the parents will not know how to handle that money, so she is not lending them any of it. She also doesn’t want to let them move in with her because she lives with a roommate and they have a rule of allowing visitors for up to a week.
Although they are her parents, the OP finds it hard to feel sympathetic towards them because she did warn them about their bad decisions, but they didn’t listen and turned to her only when they needed money.
When the OP grew up, her parents got involved in a scam that left them homeless
Image credits: snd19i
The experience of not having a stable financial situation made the OP very aware of how much she spends and how important it is to save and invest smartly. She didn’t eat out and would wear the same clothes all the time. She doesn’t have a car, uses public transportation and shares an apartment with a roommate. At 27 years old, she has $100,000 in savings, but she had to sacrifice a lot not to end up like her parents.
She warned them and tried to stop them from losing their money, but they completely ignored her
Image credits: snd19i
Growing up poor and seeing your parents lose their home and a lot of money affects a person and how they will not only handle money when they grow up, but how they will behave in general because of their conception of control.
According to research published by the American Psychological Association, people who grew up poor tend to be more impulsive in uncertain situations and have a lower sense of control over their lives and their future.
This is also confirmed by a report by Sheehy-Skeffington and Jessica Rea that showed that “People living in poverty make decisions focused on coping with present stressful circumstances, often at the expense of future goals.”
Now they are asking for money and a place to live, but the daughter thinks it was their fault that they ended up in this situation
Image credits: snd19i
Image credits: Joe Green (not the actual photo)
Some people who escape poverty might be very careless with their money, like Rick Morton, who reveals in his book 100 Years of Dirt that he doesn’t count money any longer like his mother did because he doesn’t have to now that he receives a good salary; however, it leads to stupid decisions concerning money.
For the OP, growing up poor had an opposite effect. It may have to do with the fact that she ended up in such a situation because of her parents’ irresponsible financial decisions and she realized that spending money leads to not having it at all.
The woman admits that she was traumatized by the childhood she had and doesn’t want to perpetuate her parents’ bad spending habits. Do you think she should lend them some money so they can have a roof over their head instead of living in their car? Do you think they have the right to ask for it? Let us know your thoughts in the comments!
People online agreed that her parents were grown adults who made bad decisions and didn’t listen to her when she tried to stop them, so she doesn’t owe them anything
I think her actions were absolutely fair. It's hard seeing family, particularly siblings or parents struggling. She did everything she could to help her parents but they clearly rejected it, so at some point she has to start protecting herself. Inviting family into your home is a risk at the best of times, in this situation it could end up being a nightmare.
They're adults who should know better. We don't have any responsibility for our parents just because they raised us.
She needs to check her credit report regularly. I would be afraid of her parents stealing her identity.
Yes. And you can lock your credit with the reporting agencies and only unlock it when you are applying for credit. I did that back when they had that huge data breach. Sadly, I've had several friends over the years with parents like this who had absolutely trashed credit. Aside from loans or cards, they couldn't even rent apartments or open accounts for utilities in their own names because their parents had used their information and had evictions and thousands of dollars in delinquencies to the utility companies.
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Cut them out of your life. They are irresponsible and children with money. I'd also say get a P.O. Box for your mail so they can't get it and open statements or banking information. And it would suck if they tried to declare you dead and take your assets. Also do try to see your credit report to make sure they aren't using your info for credit cards or loans.
NTA. Lock down your credit immediately so that a PIN is required to unlock it. As others have said, do not give an inch as these people (they call themselves parents?) will drag her down without a care.
They'll feel justified in doing it too, "When we're rich, she'll know that we were RIGHT and she will benefit from our cleverness." Yeah, right~~notsomuch.
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The OP is absolutely right in not letting them stay at her place. After a short period of time and as soon as they get a piece of mail in their name at her place, the law protects them and can stay on as squatters for as long as they want (or at least if they're in the US).
They are adults who should be smart enough not to fall for c**p like this. Its their own fault that they are homeless. They shouldn't have you to fall back on. They got themselves into a bad situation (While you repeatedly told them to stop) And they could get themselves out.
Ugh, my parents are like this but not as extreme. They are in their 70s now and the older they get the more people try to scam them. Now, they are not homeless, they have a beautiful house and my dad still works part time. But he is so desperate to get his books and screenplays published that he gets scammed all the time forking over cash to these "agents". And don't get me started on the debt consolidators... It just sucks because my dad is stubborn and wont listen to me. They are the type of people that are constantly in debt and relying on their credit card. Not for critical expenses like the dentist or car repair etc. They will charge things that they don't "need", especially if it's on sale and a good "deal". For the past 20 years all I hear is what plans they have once they pay off their debt. It's never going to happen, everytime they get close they charge more. It's like never getting to your goal weight because you lost 2 lbs so you think you can eat cookies again.
I'd tell the parents that was scammed by an MLM and the $100K is gone. "I can give you a lifetime supply of essential oils instead".
NEVER LET PEOPLE LIKE THIS INTO YOUR HOME! Not only will they rob you blind, they will take anything your roommates leave lying about~~no one wants to be responsible for ruining someone else's credit because family has stolen their identity. People like these parents are incredibly toxic~~go NC. Move if you have to. You have NO OBLIGATION TO CONTINUE THEIR GRIFTER EXISTENCE. And yes, they are grifters. Always want easy money (high~investiments and scams) rather than working for their livings. These people, as OP knows, excel in manipulation. As soon as the snow flies, they'll be screaming that they'll freeze to death and beg for at least a 'hot shower' while they are taking everything they can grab from your home. NEVER LET PEOPLE LIKE THIS INTO YOUR HOME!! If you *must*, buy them a non~transferable membership to the Y so they can get showers there. Responsibility DONE AND DONE!
NTA. My parents also bad on money. Once I pay out their loan on bank which using our home as collateral. I made them promise not to do it again. Then I confiscated the house ownership document to be sure. What they do? They using my father's salary document as collateral for another loan on the same day. C**p... I love them but bad habit sometimes too strong
You can't help people like that. They're like vampires. They will suck you dry and then go to another without a backward glance.
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You are going to have to decide someday what to do about your parents. Are you going to step in and take over total control of them (from a safe, protected distance) or leave them for the government to take care of? Something to think about.
If you want to help your parents look into local homeless shelters with programs that offer resources for helping people get back on their feet. Some provide temporary housing, job resources and medical and dental. Provide them with this information, but DO NOT give them a penny or allow them into your home. NTA
I need to find one of these to read where there's nothing really outwardly wrong with the parents, at a glance... they're just horrid, miserable See You Next Tuesdays that talked about how much they didn't want children all the time. Trying to raise mine and spend quality time with them and one day I realized I didn't really even know my parents. I know they got scammed out of my college money but it was through a registered broker who was drinking himself to death instead of investing- don't think that's their fault really... But I like, don't know what religion they are, I don't know their politics, and honestly I can't really remember my Dad ever doing anything with me after about age 6... But like, they were *there* somewhere. It's like the simulation forgot to give me a backstory when I try to think about my childhood lol.
NTA, but I'm a bleeding heart. I think she can help them a little bit. But I would never give them money. I would just make the purchases of some necessities for them. They obviously can't be trusted with money.
I remember my mother asking me for money to help pay bills and car registration when she’d stupidly spent the money she was meant to be saving, and better yet she was asking without my step dad knowing about it. I told her straight up to quit asking or I’d tell him everything. At the time I had no money to give and even if I had there was no way she was getting it, and since then I’ve cut all contact. If you’re going to be stupid with money like that you don’t deserve help.
Do NOT help them at all. Do not stay in contact with them. If you do become responsible for them, they can threaten to report you for elder abuse to extort money and other support from you. It's time to sever all contact and move far away from them.
NTA. I have parents like this and I feel your pain. My parents treat me like a dumb kid no matter how old I am yet I'm not the one who got busted for not paying my taxes....which is THE thing NOBODY GETS AWAY FROM! I got tricked by an MLM and they never let me hear the end of it but when they get busted for tax evasion it's not their fault?
So sad, I feel terrible for you, your life is just getting started and the people who are supposed to love you the most, are treating you worse than a stranger. Keep your head up, and an eye on the prize. I cut my family off at 20. I think about them often, how could I not, but never went back.
You are RIGHT 100% NOT to lend I am a parent too and I always go for children to respect and care for their parents but in this case you are absolutely correct not to give them any penny to invest in another deranged investment. Investment is good but don't put all your money in it. There's a saying a person who keeps doing the same thing and keeps getting the same bad result is.. You're on the right track girl. Keep going.
Have a sibling same basic story, won't listen then wines... They spent last winter in a TENT! Only contacts when they want something. If anyone has this kind of problem tough love is the way to go.
nta, absolutely fair. the more you help, the more they rely on you. it's on them, not YOU. you did the most you could do, and that's enough.
NTA! But I agree with comment about locking down your credit. I have all 5 of my children's Social Security numbers from tax papers. So run a credit check thru your bank and have the bank monitor it for various issues while you continue to save your money. Your parents money is NOT your problem. Don't share anymore information with them and DON'T sign ANY papers for them. Nothing legal, medical or financial. You could be sued.
When you buy your house it would be best if they never learn where it is. I would even consider a different state, far away.
Please don't let them in your home. Users are like vampires, never let them cross the threshold.
The only help I would provide is a number for Gov't assistance and if there is a support group for financial, money management.
What about the situation in reverse... I was adopted by a rich family straight out of the hospital because I was born on heroin and cocaine.. I was very talented and a great student... I graduated with honors... I asked my parents to let me take a year off of school.. They refused .. Duing my second year at college I started exhibiting extreme depressive episodes and prolonged periods of erratic behavior and hypomanic symptoms... Being at college I was no longer living with my parents... after having to drop out of school due to the escalation of the depression.. I was able to maintain on my own and remain independent for a couple of years until I got into a relationship with the person who would end up being the father of my only child... We did pretty well until my depression returned with a vengeance and my S/O at the time became abusive... I lost my job and my s/o refused to help in anyway... So me and him became homeless... This was my first bout with homelessness...
The OP parents sound like they need therapy. They show evidence of a couple that is easily influenced because of desperation and not inspiration. That makes then an easy target for every get rich quick scheme out there.
It’s tough love. Make them learn their lesson by suffering the consequences of their bad decisions. Eventually, when it becomes painful enough, they will be forced to reevaluate their lives.
had a friend somewhat in this situation (it was sibling not parents). The ONLY thing he did for his brother was rent a trailer for him so he wouldn't be out on the street. Nothing else.
NTA. You can't rescue them if they're jumping right back into scams over your protests. You would be setting a bad precedent giving them money. If you want to help them, you could try paying a deposit and first and last months rent direct to a landlord to get them into an appartment, but if they can't afford the rent, or keep making stupid finanial choices, they'll get evicted and be right back in the same situation anyway. They need help, but until they're willing to accept the help they need, giving them money is only going to enable them.
It would have to be in her name nobody will rent to jobless people with no credit and they're not going to pay so what's the point of destroying her credit.
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I am a sucker, I would make sure they were able to keep the car running and buy them a tent. It also sounds like they have no jobs, so applications to fast food places in exchange for a night in a cheap motel.
Her actions are absolutely reasonable. Her money, her choice. AND her parents proved themselves both gullible and irresponsible. As a loving child i would help them locate government programs and charities to help them back to their feet. At most. If I were her, I would offer, when they have a place lined up that they can afford to rent, I would offer a reasonable set amount for deposit and first month. Put clear strings on it, a max amount, whatever proof is needed that it isn't a scam, proof of means to Pay rent, whatever is needful to make sure that money goes to the purpose meant: aiding them in getting into an apartment they can afford. And be very clear that is all the cash help they get.
What about it in reverse I was a drug baby adopted by a rich family that dropped me like a hot rock when I started to suffer with a severe mental illness... They refused to help me at all and I spent many years homeless, eating out of dumpsters and almost freezing to death more than once... I was able to get disability benefits while I was pregnant with my daughter.. I was able to get back on my feet for a few years... until my daughter's father became increasingly abusive... his final act of violence... he hit me in the chest with a baseball bat... Caused me to put on too brave a face during my first disability reassessment and I was deemed no longer disabled... and lost my benefits...with all the extreme stress all at once and without an income and having no Idea I could contest the decision that cost me my benefits... we and my daught found ourselves homeless again..
Load More Replies... It's just so funny going through most comments here, see I'm not supporting your parent but regardless of how they mismanaged their finances. They are still your parent and they will always be, the advice most people here are giving you is not what they do to their own parents. This is your money and I'm not asking you to give it to them but I'm suggesting you get them an apartment so that they can have a roof over them, 1 bedroom apartment or any, but don't give them the money, you can pay for a room apartment because what we do to day as children is what we will reap tomorrow when we have no capacity to support ourselves as parent. I'm not supporting people that mismanaged their finances but we have to treat and care for our parent. Take care
Feel absolutely free to leave it. There is no gun pointed at your head.
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I agree that you need to protect yourself and your hard earned savings and not let their bad decisions become your problems or affect negatively your living arrangements, but I would not turn my back to them completely like it's not my problem. They are your parents and there must be a way to offer help (not money or loans or anything that will enable them negatively) maybe in helping them connect with a social worker or advocacy group for people like them, maybe by going to meetings with them, and you can always set boundaries and a check up system e.g. if I do this you have to show me that, enforce accountability... I know it's a very tricky situation, and I don't want to sound like I am preaching or that I know what to do, my whole point is that between letting their problems to ruin your life and turning your back on them there must be something you can do to help because they are family they are your parents.
All this "They are family/parents" stuff is b******t. Family can be d*cktwads too, f*ck them.
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You are obligated to insure their well-being by getting them help. They raised you. Honor your mother + father. How much money did they spend raising you? Food for thought.
NO MONEY! THEY LOST IT ALL DIPSHIT! And it was their job as parents to take care of her so no, she's not obligated. Get a life ans fick off!
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If OP could afford a home with an in-laws cottage I'd give it three months before they're no longer paying rent and running up utilities debts at OP's home.
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"Kindly" go away scammer! Maybe OP's parents would fall for that but everyone knows this scam!
Load More Replies... I think her actions were absolutely fair. It's hard seeing family, particularly siblings or parents struggling. She did everything she could to help her parents but they clearly rejected it, so at some point she has to start protecting herself. Inviting family into your home is a risk at the best of times, in this situation it could end up being a nightmare.
They're adults who should know better. We don't have any responsibility for our parents just because they raised us.
She needs to check her credit report regularly. I would be afraid of her parents stealing her identity.
Yes. And you can lock your credit with the reporting agencies and only unlock it when you are applying for credit. I did that back when they had that huge data breach. Sadly, I've had several friends over the years with parents like this who had absolutely trashed credit. Aside from loans or cards, they couldn't even rent apartments or open accounts for utilities in their own names because their parents had used their information and had evictions and thousands of dollars in delinquencies to the utility companies.
Load More Replies... Cut them out of your life. They are irresponsible and children with money. I'd also say get a P.O. Box for your mail so they can't get it and open statements or banking information. And it would suck if they tried to declare you dead and take your assets. Also do try to see your credit report to make sure they aren't using your info for credit cards or loans.
NTA. Lock down your credit immediately so that a PIN is required to unlock it. As others have said, do not give an inch as these people (they call themselves parents?) will drag her down without a care.
They'll feel justified in doing it too, "When we're rich, she'll know that we were RIGHT and she will benefit from our cleverness." Yeah, right~~notsomuch.
Load More Replies... The OP is absolutely right in not letting them stay at her place. After a short period of time and as soon as they get a piece of mail in their name at her place, the law protects them and can stay on as squatters for as long as they want (or at least if they're in the US).
They are adults who should be smart enough not to fall for c**p like this. Its their own fault that they are homeless. They shouldn't have you to fall back on. They got themselves into a bad situation (While you repeatedly told them to stop) And they could get themselves out.
Ugh, my parents are like this but not as extreme. They are in their 70s now and the older they get the more people try to scam them. Now, they are not homeless, they have a beautiful house and my dad still works part time. But he is so desperate to get his books and screenplays published that he gets scammed all the time forking over cash to these "agents". And don't get me started on the debt consolidators... It just sucks because my dad is stubborn and wont listen to me. They are the type of people that are constantly in debt and relying on their credit card. Not for critical expenses like the dentist or car repair etc. They will charge things that they don't "need", especially if it's on sale and a good "deal". For the past 20 years all I hear is what plans they have once they pay off their debt. It's never going to happen, everytime they get close they charge more. It's like never getting to your goal weight because you lost 2 lbs so you think you can eat cookies again.
I'd tell the parents that was scammed by an MLM and the $100K is gone. "I can give you a lifetime supply of essential oils instead".
NEVER LET PEOPLE LIKE THIS INTO YOUR HOME! Not only will they rob you blind, they will take anything your roommates leave lying about~~no one wants to be responsible for ruining someone else's credit because family has stolen their identity. People like these parents are incredibly toxic~~go NC. Move if you have to. You have NO OBLIGATION TO CONTINUE THEIR GRIFTER EXISTENCE. And yes, they are grifters. Always want easy money (high~investiments and scams) rather than working for their livings. These people, as OP knows, excel in manipulation. As soon as the snow flies, they'll be screaming that they'll freeze to death and beg for at least a 'hot shower' while they are taking everything they can grab from your home. NEVER LET PEOPLE LIKE THIS INTO YOUR HOME!! If you *must*, buy them a non~transferable membership to the Y so they can get showers there. Responsibility DONE AND DONE!
NTA. My parents also bad on money. Once I pay out their loan on bank which using our home as collateral. I made them promise not to do it again. Then I confiscated the house ownership document to be sure. What they do? They using my father's salary document as collateral for another loan on the same day. C**p... I love them but bad habit sometimes too strong
You can't help people like that. They're like vampires. They will suck you dry and then go to another without a backward glance.
Load More Replies... You are going to have to decide someday what to do about your parents. Are you going to step in and take over total control of them (from a safe, protected distance) or leave them for the government to take care of? Something to think about.
If you want to help your parents look into local homeless shelters with programs that offer resources for helping people get back on their feet. Some provide temporary housing, job resources and medical and dental. Provide them with this information, but DO NOT give them a penny or allow them into your home. NTA
I need to find one of these to read where there's nothing really outwardly wrong with the parents, at a glance... they're just horrid, miserable See You Next Tuesdays that talked about how much they didn't want children all the time. Trying to raise mine and spend quality time with them and one day I realized I didn't really even know my parents. I know they got scammed out of my college money but it was through a registered broker who was drinking himself to death instead of investing- don't think that's their fault really... But I like, don't know what religion they are, I don't know their politics, and honestly I can't really remember my Dad ever doing anything with me after about age 6... But like, they were *there* somewhere. It's like the simulation forgot to give me a backstory when I try to think about my childhood lol.
NTA, but I'm a bleeding heart. I think she can help them a little bit. But I would never give them money. I would just make the purchases of some necessities for them. They obviously can't be trusted with money.
I remember my mother asking me for money to help pay bills and car registration when she’d stupidly spent the money she was meant to be saving, and better yet she was asking without my step dad knowing about it. I told her straight up to quit asking or I’d tell him everything. At the time I had no money to give and even if I had there was no way she was getting it, and since then I’ve cut all contact. If you’re going to be stupid with money like that you don’t deserve help.
Do NOT help them at all. Do not stay in contact with them. If you do become responsible for them, they can threaten to report you for elder abuse to extort money and other support from you. It's time to sever all contact and move far away from them.
NTA. I have parents like this and I feel your pain. My parents treat me like a dumb kid no matter how old I am yet I'm not the one who got busted for not paying my taxes....which is THE thing NOBODY GETS AWAY FROM! I got tricked by an MLM and they never let me hear the end of it but when they get busted for tax evasion it's not their fault?
So sad, I feel terrible for you, your life is just getting started and the people who are supposed to love you the most, are treating you worse than a stranger. Keep your head up, and an eye on the prize. I cut my family off at 20. I think about them often, how could I not, but never went back.
You are RIGHT 100% NOT to lend I am a parent too and I always go for children to respect and care for their parents but in this case you are absolutely correct not to give them any penny to invest in another deranged investment. Investment is good but don't put all your money in it. There's a saying a person who keeps doing the same thing and keeps getting the same bad result is.. You're on the right track girl. Keep going.
Have a sibling same basic story, won't listen then wines... They spent last winter in a TENT! Only contacts when they want something. If anyone has this kind of problem tough love is the way to go.
nta, absolutely fair. the more you help, the more they rely on you. it's on them, not YOU. you did the most you could do, and that's enough.
NTA! But I agree with comment about locking down your credit. I have all 5 of my children's Social Security numbers from tax papers. So run a credit check thru your bank and have the bank monitor it for various issues while you continue to save your money. Your parents money is NOT your problem. Don't share anymore information with them and DON'T sign ANY papers for them. Nothing legal, medical or financial. You could be sued.
When you buy your house it would be best if they never learn where it is. I would even consider a different state, far away.
Please don't let them in your home. Users are like vampires, never let them cross the threshold.
The only help I would provide is a number for Gov't assistance and if there is a support group for financial, money management.
What about the situation in reverse... I was adopted by a rich family straight out of the hospital because I was born on heroin and cocaine.. I was very talented and a great student... I graduated with honors... I asked my parents to let me take a year off of school.. They refused .. Duing my second year at college I started exhibiting extreme depressive episodes and prolonged periods of erratic behavior and hypomanic symptoms... Being at college I was no longer living with my parents... after having to drop out of school due to the escalation of the depression.. I was able to maintain on my own and remain independent for a couple of years until I got into a relationship with the person who would end up being the father of my only child... We did pretty well until my depression returned with a vengeance and my S/O at the time became abusive... I lost my job and my s/o refused to help in anyway... So me and him became homeless... This was my first bout with homelessness...
The OP parents sound like they need therapy. They show evidence of a couple that is easily influenced because of desperation and not inspiration. That makes then an easy target for every get rich quick scheme out there.
It’s tough love. Make them learn their lesson by suffering the consequences of their bad decisions. Eventually, when it becomes painful enough, they will be forced to reevaluate their lives.
had a friend somewhat in this situation (it was sibling not parents). The ONLY thing he did for his brother was rent a trailer for him so he wouldn't be out on the street. Nothing else.
NTA. You can't rescue them if they're jumping right back into scams over your protests. You would be setting a bad precedent giving them money. If you want to help them, you could try paying a deposit and first and last months rent direct to a landlord to get them into an appartment, but if they can't afford the rent, or keep making stupid finanial choices, they'll get evicted and be right back in the same situation anyway. They need help, but until they're willing to accept the help they need, giving them money is only going to enable them.
It would have to be in her name nobody will rent to jobless people with no credit and they're not going to pay so what's the point of destroying her credit.
Load More Replies... I am a sucker, I would make sure they were able to keep the car running and buy them a tent. It also sounds like they have no jobs, so applications to fast food places in exchange for a night in a cheap motel.
Her actions are absolutely reasonable. Her money, her choice. AND her parents proved themselves both gullible and irresponsible. As a loving child i would help them locate government programs and charities to help them back to their feet. At most. If I were her, I would offer, when they have a place lined up that they can afford to rent, I would offer a reasonable set amount for deposit and first month. Put clear strings on it, a max amount, whatever proof is needed that it isn't a scam, proof of means to Pay rent, whatever is needful to make sure that money goes to the purpose meant: aiding them in getting into an apartment they can afford. And be very clear that is all the cash help they get.
What about it in reverse I was a drug baby adopted by a rich family that dropped me like a hot rock when I started to suffer with a severe mental illness... They refused to help me at all and I spent many years homeless, eating out of dumpsters and almost freezing to death more than once... I was able to get disability benefits while I was pregnant with my daughter.. I was able to get back on my feet for a few years... until my daughter's father became increasingly abusive... his final act of violence... he hit me in the chest with a baseball bat... Caused me to put on too brave a face during my first disability reassessment and I was deemed no longer disabled... and lost my benefits...with all the extreme stress all at once and without an income and having no Idea I could contest the decision that cost me my benefits... we and my daught found ourselves homeless again..
Load More Replies... It's just so funny going through most comments here, see I'm not supporting your parent but regardless of how they mismanaged their finances. They are still your parent and they will always be, the advice most people here are giving you is not what they do to their own parents. This is your money and I'm not asking you to give it to them but I'm suggesting you get them an apartment so that they can have a roof over them, 1 bedroom apartment or any, but don't give them the money, you can pay for a room apartment because what we do to day as children is what we will reap tomorrow when we have no capacity to support ourselves as parent. I'm not supporting people that mismanaged their finances but we have to treat and care for our parent. Take care
Feel absolutely free to leave it. There is no gun pointed at your head.
Load More Replies... I agree that you need to protect yourself and your hard earned savings and not let their bad decisions become your problems or affect negatively your living arrangements, but I would not turn my back to them completely like it's not my problem. They are your parents and there must be a way to offer help (not money or loans or anything that will enable them negatively) maybe in helping them connect with a social worker or advocacy group for people like them, maybe by going to meetings with them, and you can always set boundaries and a check up system e.g. if I do this you have to show me that, enforce accountability... I know it's a very tricky situation, and I don't want to sound like I am preaching or that I know what to do, my whole point is that between letting their problems to ruin your life and turning your back on them there must be something you can do to help because they are family they are your parents.
All this "They are family/parents" stuff is b******t. Family can be d*cktwads too, f*ck them.
Load More Replies... You are obligated to insure their well-being by getting them help. They raised you. Honor your mother + father. How much money did they spend raising you? Food for thought.
NO MONEY! THEY LOST IT ALL DIPSHIT! And it was their job as parents to take care of her so no, she's not obligated. Get a life ans fick off!
Load More Replies... If OP could afford a home with an in-laws cottage I'd give it three months before they're no longer paying rent and running up utilities debts at OP's home.
Load More Replies... "Kindly" go away scammer! Maybe OP's parents would fall for that but everyone knows this scam!
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