“I’m Just So Tired. Why Are Men Like This?”: Men Working In This Restaurant Lose Their Minds After New Waitress Is Hired
Working as a waiter is an inherently stressful job. Juggling multiple tables and parties at once, trying to remember who asked for tea and who asked for Diet Coke, being the face customers complain to when the kitchen messes up their order and all the while straining the muscles in your face to keep smiling and staying polite in hopes that you’ll earn a decent tip. With everything that servers have to keep straight, the last thing that should be on their minds is dealing with sexist coworkers. Unfortunately, however, sexism is rampant in the food service industry, as one restaurant owner recently found out.
Below, you’ll find a rant that CalamityClambake shared on the Two X Chromosomes subreddit detailing how her male staff became creepy and unprofessional as soon as she hired an attractive, young waitress. After reading the infuriating story, you’ll also find some stories readers have shared that just go to show how prevalent harassment is among restaurant staff members. We’d love to hear your thoughts on the situation in the comments, and then if you’re interested in reading another Bored Panda article calling out sexism in the restaurant industry, look no further than right here.
This restaurant owner posted a rant online about how her male staff started showing their true colors after an attractive waitress was hired
Image credits: Timur Saglambilek (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Jonathan Borba (not the actual photo)
The owner eventually had to terminate one of her employees to keep the waitress safe
Image credits: CalamityClambake
If you’re a woman who has ever worked in a restaurant, this might not come as a surprise to you, but in the United States, more sexual harassment claims are filed in the restaurant industry than any other. In fact, even if you’re a man who’s worked in food service, this may not surprise you, as 70% of men and a staggering 90% of women in the restaurant industry report experiencing some form of sexual harassment.
Sadly, harassment has become routine and standard for many restaurant employees, as they experience it from owners, managers, coworkers and even customers. According to Stefanie K. Johnson and Juan M. Madera at Harvard Business Review, there are several factors that allow rampant sexism and sexual harassment to thrive in restaurants. One of which being that the majority of high-paying roles in the restaurant industry are filled by men, and the majority of a restaurant’s frontline staff are typically women.
With a clear power dynamic in many restaurants where men are in charge and women are told what to do, restaurants can easily breed a culture of silence. When employees don’t feel comfortable confronting anyone about inappropriate behavior, perhaps because it has been tolerated for quite some time or they have no one to turn to aside from their perpetrators, harassment becomes normalized. Restaurants also have high turnover rates for staff members, with about 70% of any restaurant staff changing annually, so it is often more likely that an employee will just leave rather than bothering to file a complaint.
But harassment from customers can create many issues of its own. Most employees are told that “the customer is always right” and are relying on tips to make ends meet, so it can be hard to challenge or report a customer. And when it comes to female employees, particularly attractive young women like the waitress mentioned in this story, they often receive comments on their looks and are expected to endure whatever harassment customers and coworkers throw at them because part of being a waitress is keeping a smile.
It is crucial that restaurant owners and managers stay vigilant to how their staff is treating one another and take reports of misconduct seriously, or the restaurant industry will continue to be a toxic environment forever. It is great that the owner in this story will not stand for poor treatment of her waitress, but it is disappointing that these male workers needed to be told how to act in the first place. Hopefully, no one else will need to be fired, but if a person can’t treat women with respect, perhaps they deserve to lose their job. We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation down below, and if you have ever experienced sexual harassment while working in a restaurant, I am so sorry you had to go through that. Just because it’s common does not make it okay.
Readers are applauding the owner for not tolerating harassment and sharing their own examples of experiencing harassment in the restaurant industry
The fireings are going to continue untill the harassment stops. Fireing somebody who worked there for years over sexual harassment. The world needs this woman. I hope she keeps on speaking up about this so that the people who don't work for her have a better idea of what is and isn't appropriate behaviour
It's always interesting to check the comments to see how gets riled up about the "why are men like this" bit. It's very telling. Why does that part bother you more than the harassment? If you aren't engaging in that sort of behavior why does it bother you?
Yesssss! But I think we both know the answer to this. Unfortunately.
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I just don't get why men cannot contain themselves around attractive women. I used to bartend in a gay club in the late 90s and a lot of straight women would come in there so they could dance and not be harassed. Never failed that a few straight guys would wander in and seek out the straight girls. I kicked out so many of those assholes. And even worse, one night I warned a guy that if he didn't leave this one woman alone, he was out. Then he came and told me if that gay guy over there didn't stop hitting on him, he was going to punch him. I said, "So you're being harassed in a bar and you're upset? I literally just warned you about the same thing." I kicked him out and barred him. I should have let it continue because the gay guy was an MMA fighter and would have wasted this guy.
I kind of wonder if a lot of this behavior is rooted in the cultural norms that men are conditioned to be the pursuer and women are conditioned to (I don't know how to best describe it since I'm not a woman so forgive me for this bad label) be pursued, select from pursuers, it seems like women are probably doing more than this, dodging danger. If everyone was more familiar, experienced, or educated with participating in both sides of that interaction then maybe people could figure out how to develop better cultures of signaling and coordinating courtship. I don't know, I'm not very experienced with this stuff myself.
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I'll never understand how people cannot understand what's being said here. Viewing the comment section, it's heartbreaking and scary how some folks react to being told about the serious issues women face. It's just scary knowing people like that live among us. Let alone those that treat women this way.
I worked for a restaurant supply company in the office when I was young and cute, it was a small place, and two of the salesmen, middle-aged, married, with combovers, were unrelenting in their sh*tty juvenile behavior....funny, when I was in school I always imagined someday working in an office with grown up men wearing suits and ties and behaving like grown up men. Not 40 year old azzzwipes who thought since I was single, young, and cute, I was up for 'free love' and banging anything in pants like a filthy drugged up hippie chick. UGH.
I took a new job as a store manager in a small Texas town hardware store. On day one I met with 4 women telling similar stories of harassment about an employee…and they had been reporting him to the owner for years. I let him go immediately and was shocked to defend my actions to the owner the next day. I lost respect for that man immediately and did not last but a year working for that future Congressman…you read that right.
I used to work as a server when I was 18-25 years old. Different places - same situations over and over again. I was hit on by co-workers and clients all the time (all of them way older than me!). At one point (I was 21 I think) I bought a cheap wedding ring and started wearing it. Worked perfectly for me, unfortunately didn't solve a problem of many males being pigs.
I'm a nurse and am married with my ring clearly on my finger, I still have male patients hit on me. I also has a day that was just a difficult day, I know I had blood and bm on my scrubs that I had attempted to clean off, but sometimes it just won't come off. I still had a patient hit on me. It really doesn't matter what a woman is wearing.
Load More Replies... When oh when will women finally be safe on this planet? When will men finally evolve beyond the cave?
I used to waitress and work in kitchens in the late 90s in the UK, it was just accepted by younger female staff that we would get sexually harassed and touched inappropriately. If we ever reported it we would be the ones who were sacked. I know it still happens and that there hasn't been much progress in 20 years, but reading this made my heart both hurt and be hopeful because at least one business owner is beginning to fight back.
Ex chef here also UK. Can’t think of a single kitchen I didn’t get cornered in the changing room, walk in or somewhere else by other male chefs. And it’s still pretty much turned a blind eye too. I was in the industry for 7 years, been out 8 now and can sadly guarantee not much has changed
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I worked in a furniture store as a sales rep. We hired a young attractive oriental lady. These 2 jerks in the warehouse had a running bet over who would get her first. Disgusting.
The best way to avoid having male employees harass female employees is to stop hiring men. Maybe if men had a hard time getting a job they would change their behavior.
Years ago, I worked at a restaurant in LA, I at 16 years old was the only male employee, the wife of the owner couple had a staff of all women, both young and old, some, including her daughters were very pretty, no problems coming from any male staff. Just a few jerk men customers !!!!
If he cornered her, you don't need the audio. Just doing that is harrasement.
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Alternatively you can hold people accountable for their behavior. Your whole post reeks of a smug attempt at excusing male predatory behavior. Do better.
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You walk into a room and are told one person there has a gun. You aren’t told any other hints aside from that fact. Your job is to figure out who has the gun. What do you do? Well you likely treat everyone like they have the gun. That’s how it is to be a woman. We don’t know which men are good and which ones aren’t so we have to live with the assumption all men until proven otherwise.
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OP shouldn't have to say 'treat all of your coworkers professionally.' And what do you suppose the percent breakdown is between men harassing women and women harassing men?
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The fireings are going to continue untill the harassment stops. Fireing somebody who worked there for years over sexual harassment. The world needs this woman. I hope she keeps on speaking up about this so that the people who don't work for her have a better idea of what is and isn't appropriate behaviour
It's always interesting to check the comments to see how gets riled up about the "why are men like this" bit. It's very telling. Why does that part bother you more than the harassment? If you aren't engaging in that sort of behavior why does it bother you?
Yesssss! But I think we both know the answer to this. Unfortunately.
Load More Replies... I just don't get why men cannot contain themselves around attractive women. I used to bartend in a gay club in the late 90s and a lot of straight women would come in there so they could dance and not be harassed. Never failed that a few straight guys would wander in and seek out the straight girls. I kicked out so many of those assholes. And even worse, one night I warned a guy that if he didn't leave this one woman alone, he was out. Then he came and told me if that gay guy over there didn't stop hitting on him, he was going to punch him. I said, "So you're being harassed in a bar and you're upset? I literally just warned you about the same thing." I kicked him out and barred him. I should have let it continue because the gay guy was an MMA fighter and would have wasted this guy.
I kind of wonder if a lot of this behavior is rooted in the cultural norms that men are conditioned to be the pursuer and women are conditioned to (I don't know how to best describe it since I'm not a woman so forgive me for this bad label) be pursued, select from pursuers, it seems like women are probably doing more than this, dodging danger. If everyone was more familiar, experienced, or educated with participating in both sides of that interaction then maybe people could figure out how to develop better cultures of signaling and coordinating courtship. I don't know, I'm not very experienced with this stuff myself.
Load More Replies... I'll never understand how people cannot understand what's being said here. Viewing the comment section, it's heartbreaking and scary how some folks react to being told about the serious issues women face. It's just scary knowing people like that live among us. Let alone those that treat women this way.
I worked for a restaurant supply company in the office when I was young and cute, it was a small place, and two of the salesmen, middle-aged, married, with combovers, were unrelenting in their sh*tty juvenile behavior....funny, when I was in school I always imagined someday working in an office with grown up men wearing suits and ties and behaving like grown up men. Not 40 year old azzzwipes who thought since I was single, young, and cute, I was up for 'free love' and banging anything in pants like a filthy drugged up hippie chick. UGH.
I took a new job as a store manager in a small Texas town hardware store. On day one I met with 4 women telling similar stories of harassment about an employee…and they had been reporting him to the owner for years. I let him go immediately and was shocked to defend my actions to the owner the next day. I lost respect for that man immediately and did not last but a year working for that future Congressman…you read that right.
I used to work as a server when I was 18-25 years old. Different places - same situations over and over again. I was hit on by co-workers and clients all the time (all of them way older than me!). At one point (I was 21 I think) I bought a cheap wedding ring and started wearing it. Worked perfectly for me, unfortunately didn't solve a problem of many males being pigs.
I'm a nurse and am married with my ring clearly on my finger, I still have male patients hit on me. I also has a day that was just a difficult day, I know I had blood and bm on my scrubs that I had attempted to clean off, but sometimes it just won't come off. I still had a patient hit on me. It really doesn't matter what a woman is wearing.
Load More Replies... When oh when will women finally be safe on this planet? When will men finally evolve beyond the cave?
I used to waitress and work in kitchens in the late 90s in the UK, it was just accepted by younger female staff that we would get sexually harassed and touched inappropriately. If we ever reported it we would be the ones who were sacked. I know it still happens and that there hasn't been much progress in 20 years, but reading this made my heart both hurt and be hopeful because at least one business owner is beginning to fight back.
Ex chef here also UK. Can’t think of a single kitchen I didn’t get cornered in the changing room, walk in or somewhere else by other male chefs. And it’s still pretty much turned a blind eye too. I was in the industry for 7 years, been out 8 now and can sadly guarantee not much has changed
Load More Replies... I worked in a furniture store as a sales rep. We hired a young attractive oriental lady. These 2 jerks in the warehouse had a running bet over who would get her first. Disgusting.
The best way to avoid having male employees harass female employees is to stop hiring men. Maybe if men had a hard time getting a job they would change their behavior.
Years ago, I worked at a restaurant in LA, I at 16 years old was the only male employee, the wife of the owner couple had a staff of all women, both young and old, some, including her daughters were very pretty, no problems coming from any male staff. Just a few jerk men customers !!!!
If he cornered her, you don't need the audio. Just doing that is harrasement.
Load More Replies... Alternatively you can hold people accountable for their behavior. Your whole post reeks of a smug attempt at excusing male predatory behavior. Do better.
Load More Replies... You walk into a room and are told one person there has a gun. You aren’t told any other hints aside from that fact. Your job is to figure out who has the gun. What do you do? Well you likely treat everyone like they have the gun. That’s how it is to be a woman. We don’t know which men are good and which ones aren’t so we have to live with the assumption all men until proven otherwise.
Load More Replies... OP shouldn't have to say 'treat all of your coworkers professionally.' And what do you suppose the percent breakdown is between men harassing women and women harassing men?
Load More Replies...
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