At this point, the number combination of 20 and 20, aka 2020, the year the world went nuts, is a joke in itself. And quite a good one. But in case you were out and about on Elon Musk’s SpaceX and haven’t enjoyed all the tragi(comedic) fun that has been going on for the past… since January 1st, we invite you to sit back for an open mic.

We hand-picked the funniest jokes from the r/jokes subreddit that has been getting 500 or more puns, one-liners, and witticisms every day from its 18.9M members. It’s like an online comedy cellar on its own that has been helping people to “Get Your Funny On!” since it was launched in 2008.

This year, however, has been particularly fruitful for r/jokes. I mean, do ya seriously need an explanation why?

#1

My Tinder bio says that I have a corner office with views of the entire city, drive a $500,000 vehicle, and that I'm paid to travel.
My dates never seem too happy when I tell them I'm a bus driver.

rickiefowlercr7 Report

Kesam
Community Member
1 month ago

Humour and wit are so much more important than money and status. Chin up, my dear fictitious friend!

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#2

The president of the US is threatening to send the military to suppress US citizens.
Looks like Americans are finally gonna get a taste of democracy and freedom.

selfunimployed Report

Kesam
Community Member
1 month ago

Upvote upvote upvote!

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#3

My wife left me because I am insecure
No wait, she's back. She just went to get coffee

Nintendant42 Report

Vic
Community Member
1 month ago

🤣🤣

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#4

Last night my girlfriend dressed up as a policewoman and told me I was under arrest on suspicion of being good in bed…
2 minutes later she told me all the charges were dropped due to lack of evidence.

albomanthegreat Report

SeidWolf
Community Member
1 month ago

Teehehehe...

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#5

Why did the Star Wars movies come out in the order 4 5 6 1 2 3?
In charge of the sequence, Yoda was.

Obloinator Report

Vic
Community Member
1 month ago

Hahaha.. brilliant one, this is..

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#6

I got fired from my job because I kept asking my customers whether they would prefer “Smoking” or “Non-smoking”.
Apparently the correct terms are “Cremation” and “Burial”.

JEANSANCHEZ13 Report

Vic
Community Member
1 month ago

Well, cremation is some peoples last chance of having a smoking hot body..

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#7

America seems to have successfully prevented a second wave of corona
By keeping the first one going

the-koolio Report

Vic
Community Member
1 month ago

Not really a joke now, is it?

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#8

Steve Jobs would have made a better president than Donald Trump...
But that’s comparing apples to oranges.

BrainStorm07 Report

Kenny Kulbiski
Community Member
1 month ago

Still true even if Jobs is dead.

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#9

A priest, an imam and a rabbit walk into a blood bank
The rabbit says : I think I might be a type O.

DisastrousFrenchGuy Report

Hazel Waring
Community Member
1 month ago

A+ joke right here

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#10

If "womb" is pronounced "woom", "tomb" is pronounced "toom" then shouldn't "bomb" be pronounced "BOOM" I hope that blew your minds

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Vic
Community Member
1 month ago

Well, it did!

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#11

‌‌I j‌‌ust d‌‌iscovered t‌‌hat t‌‌he w‌‌ord "‌‌nothing" i‌‌s a‌‌ p‌‌alindrome...
Backwards i‌‌t s‌‌pells "‌‌gnihton", w‌‌hich a‌‌lso m‌‌eans n‌‌othing.

vpetrychuk Report

A Anne Easter-Sova
Community Member
1 month ago

Woke my husband up, laughing so much

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#12

What is a Karen called in Europe?
An American.

CrazyGeetar Report

Vic
Community Member
1 month ago

Shouldn't it be Amerikaren? Since Karen's are all over the world..

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#13

They told me i wouldn’t be good at poetry because i’m dyslexic
But so far I’ve made 3 jugs and a vase and they are lovely.

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Cat Nip Gal
Community Member
1 month ago

Haha

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#14

Do you want to know why the republicans won't impeach Trump?
Because they believe in carrying a baby to full term.

zPureAssassiNz Report

Carlos Ferreira
Community Member
1 month ago

So painfully spot-on

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#15

Dude 1: Hey, bro?Dude 2: Yeah bro? Dude 1: Can you pass me that pamphlet? Dude 2: Brochure

lexflexluthor Report

My O My
Community Member
1 month ago

You made my day

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#16

My wife just completed a 40 week body building program this morning
It's a girl and weighs 7lbs 12 oz

2020Chapter Report

ADHORTATOR
Community Member
1 month ago

Congratulations :-)

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#17

Today I was invited by a female janitor to smoke some weed at her apartment, but i politley declined.
I can’t deal with high maintenance women.

Havtak16 Report

Ben Steinberg
Community Member
1 month ago

OMG -- that was funny...okay, I'm a dad, I admit it...

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#18

My friend gets really upset when I call him a flat-Earther
He says the correct term is bulldozer operator.

GeneReddit123 Report

chi-wei shen
Community Member
1 month ago

Why not earth flattener?

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#19

My roommate says our house is haunted
I've been living here for 300 years and i havnt noticed [crap]

maracaboi Report

Halestorm
Community Member
1 month ago (edited)

It's more concerning to me that your roommate is talking to you....

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#20

My friend keeps saying "cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water."
I know he means well.

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sbj
Community Member
1 month ago

HaHaHa nice one

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#21

Yesterday I spotted an albino dalmatian.
It was the least I could do for the guy.

HellsJuggernaut Report

chi-wei shen
Community Member
1 month ago

That's a good one.

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#22

My girlfriend asked me to name off all my sexual partners in order
I probably should've stopped when I got to her name

vpetrychuk Report

shemeowsalot
Community Member
1 month ago

took me a sec lol

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#23

What’s the difference between a police officer and a bullet?
When a bullet kills someone else, you know it’s been fired

ElonMuskIsMyWaifu Report

Scagsy
Community Member
1 month ago

Bit close to the bone

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#24

Marijuana is legal and haircuts are against the law.
It took half a century but Hippies finally won.

MohanBhargava Report

WilvanderHeijden
Community Member
1 month ago

Perhaps the Hippies should have won half a century ago so we wouldn't be in this mess today.

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#25

I hate that SEPTember, OCTober, NOVember, and DECember aren't the 7th, 8th, 9th, and 10th months......
Whoever [messed] this up should be stabbed!

mohicansgonnagetya Report

Bart
Community Member
1 month ago

This one should be higher up :-)

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#26

imagine if Americans switched from pounds to kilograms overnight.
there would be mass confusion.

Mr_nobrody Report

Ben Steinberg
Community Member
1 month ago

Weight...I don't get it...

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#27

In Jamaica, a slice of pie costs $3.50. In the Bahamas, a slice of pie costs $5.50.
These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.

evan_lolz Report

Vic
Community Member
1 month ago

And now I want pie..

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#28

Her: What do you do?
Me: I race cars.

Her: Do you win many races?

Me: No, the cars are much faster.

ChrisBaker111 Report

SeidWolf
Community Member
1 month ago

LoL!!

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#29

We cannot allow this year to end
That would be admitting that 2021

Kelly240361 Report

Nicola Roberts
Community Member
1 month ago

Clever!

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#30

99.9% of people are idiots.
Fortunately, I belong to the 1% of intelligent people

eugenefx Report

Miklós Nagy
Community Member
1 month ago

Every idiot ever.

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#31

Why did Karen press Ctrl+Alt+Delete?
She wanted to see the task manager.

thudly Report

Vic
Community Member
1 month ago

🤣🤣🤣

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#32

If you rearrange the letters of MAILMEN
you get them VERY ANGRY

Whello578 Report

Vincent Philippart
Community Member
1 month ago

I don't get it

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#33

This shutdown is bad for everyone in the service industry, but it especially sucks for men
We're losing $1 for every $.79 women are losing

Azkabacon Report

Carlos Ferreira
Community Member
1 month ago

It hurts because it's true.

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#34

6 was afraid of 7 because 789. But why did 7 eat 9?
Because he needed 3² meals a day.

coolguydude5 Report

kasa alex
Community Member
1 month ago

Great! One of my fav jokes just got better ;)

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#35

To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner.
They picked pizza. Then I made tacos because they don't live in a swing state.

atomsmasher42 Report

WilvanderHeijden
Community Member
1 month ago

American democracy. The guy with the least popular votes is made president by his powerful pals.

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#36

My wife screamed in pain during labor so I asked, “What’s wrong?”. She screamed. “These contractions are going to kill me!”
“I am sorry, honey,” I replied. “What is wrong?”

2020Chapter Report

SeidWolf
Community Member
1 month ago

Gotta luv grammar humor!

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#37

Yesterday, I changed a light bulb, crossed the street, and walked into a bar.
My life is a joke.

porichoygupto Report

Vic
Community Member
1 month ago

Now only if you knocked someone's door.. your life would be a complete joke..

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#38

50 shades of grey

#4e5054, #272727, #282828, #292929, #2b2b2b, #2c2c2c, #2e2e2e, #313131, #323232, #343434, #353535, #373737, #393939, #3a3a3a, #3c3c3c, #3f3f3f, #404040, #424242, #444444, #454545, #474747, #484848, #4a4a4a, #4b4b4b, #4d4d4d, #4e4e4e, #505050, #515151, #535353, #565656, #575757, #585858, #595959, #5b5b5b, #5c5c5c, #5e5e5e, #616161, #626262, #646464, #656565, #676767, #6a6a6a, #6b6b6b, #6c6c6c, #6d6d6d, #6f6f6f, #727272, #737373, #757575, #767676

AddictedReddit Report

shemeowsalot
Community Member
1 month ago

Better than the book and movie series

Parmeisan
Community Member
1 month ago

Still a better love story than Twilight?

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ƒιѕн
Community Member
1 month ago

#808080

K.Kobayashi
Community Member
1 month ago

Why does the first one have a slightly bluish tint?

Vic
Community Member
1 month ago

Nice one!

Devyn Nagy
Community Member
1 month ago

Try to incorporate that into HTML.

Popcorn Colonel
Community Member
1 month ago

Honestly more interesting than the movie.

Sophie Babbitt
Community Member
3 weeks ago

😂😂

Bubbs Art
Community Member
1 month ago

Thank you!

Catte Lopez
Community Member
1 month ago

Can someone explain for me? This one is over my head.

Devyn Nagy
Community Member
1 month ago

Those are HTML (Hypertext Markup Language) HEX color codes for making websites and whatnot.

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Bacony
Community Member
1 month ago

that first one's bluish grey, you lied.

Jace
Community Member
1 month ago

Still a better love story than 50 Shades of Grey.

Laura Crawley
Community Member
1 month ago

LOL

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#39

A guy named Bart walks into a bar, he immediately gets shot and dies. Who killed him?
The Bartender

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El muerto
Community Member
1 month ago

I'll say what we all thinking...after a long time Moe finally got his revenge

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#40

I accidently sprayed deodorant in my mouth today
Now when I talk I have this weird axe scent

RestingBitFace Report

JOCELYN VITELLO
Community Member
1 month ago

That's a good dad joke

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#41

Girls who talks about girls' problems are great.
But girls who talk about environmental problems are Greta.

shyggar Report

WilvanderHeijden
Community Member
1 month ago

And very threatening to climate change deniers...

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#42

We all know where the Big Apple is but does anyone know where the…
Minneapolis

madazzahatter Report

Meyer Weinstock
Community Member
1 month ago

No, but I only wanted a Minnesota, not the full-sized one...

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#43

Someone broke into my house and stole 20% of my couch
Ouch

Pexagon05 Report

Saffroncat 21
Community Member
1 month ago

Lol

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#44

I used to shave my testicles with a razor blade.
But since I got Parkinson's, I don't have the balls to do it anymore.

karmanutte Report

chi-wei shen
Community Member
1 month ago

At least he had the balls to do it once.

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#45

I got arrested for illegally downloading Wikipedia in its entirety
...before I got arrested I said "wait I can explain everything

juheelsejpal Report

Kendra Miller
Community Member
1 month ago

Actually they totally let people do that, from select pages to sections to the whole freaking thing.

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#46

What’s the difference between North Korea and the US?
North Koreans can’t tell if their leader is seriously dead. Americans can’t tell if their leader is dead serious.

pegasus47 Report

WilvanderHeijden
Community Member
1 month ago

Rule of thumb: The dumber his plans are, the more serious he is. Nuking tornado's, buying Greenland, ingesting disinfectants, having his own Gestapo, Opening schools.

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#47

As a responsible employer, All my staff are in a 2 week quarantine.
Productivity is through the roof since nobody can leave the office.

Makefoodandthings Report

WilvanderHeijden
Community Member
1 month ago

Don't forget to charge them for their stay.

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#48

Student: Are “well” and “actually” both single-syllable words?
Teacher: Well yes , but actually no

Satyam18 Report

Nadine Khazaka
Community Member
1 month ago

Gotta love this language.

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#49

My friend Ty came first in the Beijing marathon 5 years ago, but still has not been awarded a gold medal.
China refuses to acknowledge Ty won.

Po1sonator Report

⚞ Katniss Everdeen ⚟
Community Member
1 month ago

(For the record, yes, Taiwan is a country, with it's own government, just in case you were wondering :)

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#50

All countries eventually got coronavirus
But China got it right off the bat.

CherryBlackEyes Report

Kesam
Community Member
1 month ago

🦇🏏

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#51

I loaned my girlfriend $100 sometime soon after we met. After 3 years, when I broke up with her, she returned exactly $100.
I guess I just lost interest in that relationship.

Yokozuuna Report

Valerie G.
Community Member
1 month ago

spoken like a true banker or accountant.

#52

Today is the last time I will see my 80 year old grandpa
Because tomorrow he turns 81!

Chasehasaface Report

Leroy Fong
Community Member
1 month ago

They had us in the first half, not gonna lie.

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#53

I really hope coronavirus can't spread through sex
It would be so lonely being the last man on Earth.

TapiocaTuesday Report

chi-wei shen
Community Member
1 month ago

You'd be surprised how many people would survive.

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#54

Why is Spider-Man so good at comebacks?
Because with great power comes great response ability.

reddit.com Report

Nadine Khazaka
Community Member
1 month ago

You should check out his social media, he's got a great web presence.

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#55

The last thing my grandfather said before he died was “It’s worth it to spend money on good speakers.”
That was some sound advice.

porichoygupto Report

Davor Jelacic
Community Member
1 month ago

Dad?

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#56

When you say "poop" your mouth moves in the same way your anus does.
The same goes for "explosive diarrhea".

timeshaper Report

WilvanderHeijden
Community Member
1 month ago

Donald J. Trump... Yes, it does!!!!

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#57

Why didn't 4 ask out 5
Because he was 2².

Prussian12 Report

Vic
Community Member
1 month ago

Well that's the root of 4 problem..

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#58

I saw a girl crying, so I asked her “Where are your parents?” and she started crying even more. Man, I love working at the orphanage.

AkivaE Report

Vic
Community Member
1 month ago

This one's just mean..

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#59

What did Raichu say when it saw Pikachu
Raichu

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Katherine Boag
Community Member
1 month ago

Not gonna raichu a love song

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