Dark humor
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Why is the orphan bad at baseball?
He can’t find home
What’s a reverse exorcism?
When the devil asks the priest to leave the child’s body
What do you call a lonely 6 year old?
A sandy hook survivor
What’s the difference between Hitler and Michael Phelps?
Michael Phelps can finish a race
Have you heard the one about the child with aids?
It never gets old
What do you call a flat emo girl?
A cutting board
I should stop before bp bans me lol
What's the best pickup line in a gay bar?
"May I push in your stool?"
Dark humor you say? I got you.
"What do you call a group of depressed people?"
"A suicide squad"
Japan didn't take the break up with America well. They denied it at first. America had to drop the bomb twice before Japan got the message.
You don't take babies to Vegas,but you leave Vegas with babies
I have a dog with no legs. I call him cigarette because every day when I get home I take him out for a drag.
The thing about dead baby jokes is that they never get old!
where did little timmy go when he got lost in a minefield?
everywhere
Death is the best part of life. That's why they save it for last.
“Why doesn’t the Chinese kids believe in Santa?”
“Because they make the toys.”
What do you call four white men sitting on a bench? The NBA/ Dark jokes are like food, not everyone gets it.
A girl walked up to her mother and said, "Mom, how do you spell 's*****m'?" and the mother said, "You should've asked me last night, I had it on the tip of my tongue."
I named my dog 5 miles so I could say "Today I walked 5 miles!" But today, I ran over 5 miles/ What do babies and grenades have in common? They both make loud noises when thrown
I’m tempted to compare Steve Jobs to Donald Trump… but that would be comparing apples to oranges. / What’s the one upside of dying instantly and unexpectedly? You’d never know it happened.
Me and my friends like to put extremely rude things in cutesy messages
⍣ ೋ𝓘 𝓱𝓪𝓿𝓮 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓪𝓭𝓻𝓮𝓼𝓼*ೃ༄
·˚ ༘𝓙𝓾𝓼𝓽 𝓭𝓲𝓮 𝓪𝓵𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓭𝔂⋆.ೃ࿔*:･
and probably the most straight to the point one is something you probably shouldn't say to people
* ˚ ✦ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ-*ੈ✩‧₊˚𝓚𝓲𝓵𝓵 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻𝓼𝓮𝓵𝓯·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳༉‧₊˚.ׂׂૢ
please keep in mind, these are jokes and are clarified to be such, as well as only being sent to friends. I (mostly) don't support sending those types of messages without checking to make sure the person is comfortable with it and its clarified as a joke (some people actually deserve to be told to die, but those are like p/dos and stuff.)
Two Nuns in a bath
Wears the soap?
Yes it does doesn’t it
This is a long one but its funny.
I went to my friend's house one day and I noticed his pig only had 3 legs! I asked him "what happened to your pig's leg?"
He said "this here is an amazing pig! Why just last summer we had a fire! This little guy burst in and woke us all up! Saved our lives!"
I asked "Is that how he lost his leg??"
My friend again said "This here is an amazing pig! Why just last month little Billy fell in the lake but this pig jumped in and pulled him to shore! Saved his life!"
A little confused and frustrated I asked "but what happened to his leg?!"
My friend looked me dead in the eye and said " This here is an amazing pig! Surely you don't expect us to eat him all at once?!"
What do you call four white men sitting on a bench? The NBA/ Dark jokes are like food, not everyone gets it.
Johnny was a chemist's son but Johnny is no more because what Johnny thought was H2O was H2SO4
Johnny was a chemist's son but Johnny is no more because what Johnny thought was H2O was H2SO4
