I thought I would make something like this for those of you that would like to share events that changed yourlife.

#1

I cared for my father who passed from Alzheimer's Disease. I took care of him in my home for four very long years before he succumbed to the disease. I had to watch the man I had emulated much of my life by become frail, weak and eventually completely dependent upon my every decision. Before his diagnosis I was self-centered and to be honest, a bit shallow. He taught me patience and empathy through his pain and how to truly care for another human being. He was there for my first steps and I was there as he took his last. He was at the bedside for my birth and I was at his his when he took his last breathe. Because of the experience I now tell those that I care about, that I unconditionally love them and willingly go out of my way to assist those in need. I came out the other side of this journey a better man though I wish the wisdom it granted about life and its meaning didn't have to come at such a high price.

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Tamra Stiffler
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's a very hard thing to do, to see a parent out of this life. But one of the most genuinely selfless and kind things, as well.

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#2

A bad relationship that I just left made me realize that the 3.5 years of trauma therapy actually worked. For once, through all the verbal and emotional abuse, I never lost myself. I stayed true, and knew when my partner was trying to manipulate me. And then ai happily escaped.

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#3

my ex hubby started college while he was in the military. he took accelerated classes meaning that the courses provided by the military were completed in 9 weeks or less towards a degree. after a couple of courses i noticed that he started to talk 'down' to me - more than mansplaining - until i called him out on it. it was then that he basically told me that his 'higher education' meant that he knew more than me so he needed to explain things plainly so i could understand what he was saying. whoa!!!!

i digested this for a couple of weeks and then i started to plan. i had a school age child at the time. since the military didn't pay enough to pay for tuition and books for me to attend college i needed a way to make some money. so, i pulled out my sewing machine and started making christmas ornaments with what i call a home-spun quality. the church that my mom attended (she lived 320 miles away) always had a 'christmas in july' event in which they invited people to come and sell christmas themed items for fundraising. i rented a space, borrowed my folk's christmas tree and displayed my work. i also make soap so i threw that into the mix as well. the sale was very successful and i managed to make enough that eventually covered my first semester of tuition and books. (thank goodness the college had a military spouse program with reduced tuition fees.) after paying for it all i had enough left over for a cup of coffee. as crazy as it sounds, my plan was to get into college and then work my butt off to get scholarships and grants for the rest. and...it worked.

because of the scholarships and grants i was able to continue to attend college. i attended full time as well as a full load for summer classes and managed to shave off a year from graduating which i did with not one but two degrees as well as being a recipient of a prestigious award from the school.

now, did his attitude change towards me? not really because he started to act as if he was responsible for my success. but, what really changed was what was inside me. while i had never been that great a student in high school i excelled in college because i found out that not everyone learns in the same way. i learned that i was "smarter" than what i thought i was and had a great capacity of memory whereas before i didn't have confidence in myself. i went on to have a good career and am now retired. oh, and him? he never once worked in the field in which he had a degree and, after 32 years, i left.

so, yes...that was the most life changing thing that has happened to me and even though i was terrified at the beginning of that journey (i was 28 in classes with 18 yr olds at the start) i discovered that there was so much more in me than i had ever believed. that is why i encourage anyone and everyone to never believe what or how others perceive them as there is a power in all of us that only needs to be tapped.

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Bobby
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You’re amazing! Utilizing your skills as seamstress to cover tuition was clever and creative, and it took so much courage to go back to school after an extended hiatus as homemaker. Then... THEN you left a toxic, discouraging relationship after three decades and faced life on your own. And thrived. You carved quite a path for yourself. Bravo Zulu, friend. Well done.

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#4

Me and a friend had made a suicide pact and that’s what has kept us both alive today

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Bobby
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Takes a fair bit of courage to live when you’re just plain tired of everything hurting. You have a deep heart, friend. It’s my hope you find unexpected joys on your journey.

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#5

I’ve been through a lot of s**t. I’ve lost both my parents (my father in 2016 to cancer, my mother suddenly just this past October) and over the past two months I’ve been in and out of the hospital with blood clots on top of health issues I’ve had my whole life. Now I’m living with my grandfather and uncle. I’m only 17, I turn 18 in July. It’s an understatement to say I feel a little damaged, my mental and physical health could both use some help. I’m looking into therapy and trying to keep my head above water, but I feel like I was dealt a really bad hand. I feel like I’ve hardened as a person over the past few months, I’m hoping things get easier

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MetaMaxNL
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

holly crap sweetie....feel free to contact if you need to vent or talk....

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#6

When my sister was born - best thing that happened to me!

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#7

When I met this cute little french girl.... 35 years ago, married for 25 years

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Bobby
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2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A genuine love story! Wishing you a lifetime of adventures and joys.

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#8

as a child I was homeless, my life eventually got a kind of restart when I was able to no longer be there it caused mental problems and didn't always give me changes that would be considered good. Though I should say that as a person i think it has bettered me.

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Bobby
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Can you tell me what it was like, to be homeless as a child? How did you manage school? It was so hard as an adult, I cannot imagine surviving the experience as a child. I’m so very proud of you for forging strengths from that experience. You have more courage and fortitude than many adults could muster.

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#9

i got in an car crash when i was 11, my head was right next to the window. i have been deaf for six years now, considering getting a hearing aid! the only reason i didnt before is because they are expensive.

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Bobby
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2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There are resources for hearing aids! Try Shriners, Lions Club, Fraternal Order of Eagles, and other similar organizations. I donate my hearing aids to those groups, where each is refurbished and donated to someone in need. Have been deaf since Navy service, and to be fair... it’s kind of peaceful.

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#10

Therapy. After years and years of self-loathing, zero boundary setting and zero self-love, I finally realized that something needed to change for my personal health. I did several types of therapy but the one that helped me most were sessions on how self-esteem works and the other was haptotherapy. Specifically the latter taught me how to be more aligned with myself and how to stop ignoring my own feelings. It's changed my life and I'm so much more balanced now.

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Bobby
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That’s an inspirational success story. Haptotherapy is a good way to stay focused on the here and now, avoid dragging your yesterday into your today. So many discouraging setbacks could be avoided if people learned to leave yesterday there as a step up to better things ...instead of an anchor tying them to the past.

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#11

My mom deciding not to abort my sister, she’s annoying, dumb and annoying. But she’s always there

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P.A.B.
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That’s what sisters are for…to be annoying, dumb and annoying, but always there. ❤️

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#12

Being told you have end stage cancer at 35 with 3 young children. I have never seen the colors of nature so vibrant as I did that first week after my diagnosis. I have never smiled as much as I had in that first month after my diagnosis. I let all the negativity go..and I didn't listen when they told me I probably only had 2 to 4 months left of my life. I was determined to raise my children. With a lot of prayer and some amazing doctors, nurses, clinicians, and other medical staff along with my 3 kids and other family...I just celebrated my 52nd birthday cancer free since 2006.

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#13

Hugging my mom as I told her "Goodnight & I Love you" before going to bed to wake up to my my worst nightmare only I was awake!!
4 -5 hours later, I wake up to make sure my mom was up & getting ready for her appointment that morning to find her cold lifeless body sitting in the recliner, she looked like she was peacefully sleeping at 1st glance but I noticed her lips were purplish blue and her hand felt very cold & that's when my heart dropped, my world shattered all around me!! I passed out, hitting my head on sliding glass door before collapsing to floor but I immediately jump up and grabbed the phone, dialing 911 with the speaker on so I had my hands free.
I pulled my mom onto the living room floor & started CPR, by this time my dad and my boyfriend were standing around, I had my boyfriend talk to the EMS while I begged and pleaded for a miracle and bring my mom back to me..
I knew in my heart that it was too late, she was gone & CPR wasn't goin to bring her back but couldn't bring myself to give up ..

I performed CPR for 45 mins, maybe an hour until the EMS finally arrived.. I moved out of the way so they could do their job but within seconds, they called it and I just went numb.
I ran outside and collapsed on the ground while I screamed louder then I ever have before, I kept telling myself to wake up already, I didn't want to believe that I just lost my mom,my best friend, my rock, my everything!! ♡♡
My boyfriend pulled me into his Arms and just held me for hours till I started to calm down.

It was the absolute worst day of my life !!! It replays in my head so vividly still till this day when I think about it 😪

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Elise Alvarado
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am so sorry for your loss. We share very similar tragedies in loosing our mothers. Hang in there. We will always carry this sadness and will always feel the hole that was left in our souls from their passing. There is life after loss. Keep her memory and legacy alive.

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#14

Getting (and surviving) cancer. Cliché maybe, but made me realize life is not something to take for granted.

I also learned that I have some amazing people around me who will step up and help out. From that, I know to step and help, and how much it means.

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Tamra Stiffler
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Congratulations on beating a terrible disease! I hope you have a full, happy, and healthy life. ☺️

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#15

i was born. pretty life changing, to be honest.

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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

also, this is a light hearted joke, to help with any sadness that you have felt during the day or any other day. love (in a platonic way) you guys/gals/potatos!

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#16

When I was 40 years old, my father tried to kill me. It was the best thing that ever happened to me because it woke me up to the family lies.

For example my family always said I was a klutz, but when I was 15 years old with serious arthritis, I could mount a balance beam by running across the gym and jumping up onto it unassisted. The accidents I was having at home were my father's booby traps and I never realized it because the family always blamed me for his bad behavior.

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#17

A dark epiphany at 40 that my drinking was destroying my soul,and that I am an alcoholic.I grew up in a heavy drinking family ,married a heavy drinker and for many years thought it was how life was meant to be. I was lucky enough to be treated at an amazing publicly-funded rehab in a stunning part of the country (sadly closed down not long after I went through) where I got real and stared down my demons. This November I will be 25 years sober. I'd be dead by now if this hadn't happened ,instead I'm surrounded by the love of my children ,(one of whom is also in recovery,)my grandchildren, and my cats.

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#18

Recovering from cancer.
Like everyone, I thought that I was immortal - it never occurred to me that I would die one day.
I was feeling ill and wen to the hospital. They took one look at me and said « You are not going anywhere « .
I was operated on the next day, spent 3 days in intensive care, and 2 weeks in hospital.
I took antibiotics for 2 years, but now, after 4 years, I am clean.
3 things:
1. My (now) ex-wife never visited me in hospital.
2. A wonderful friend looked after me.
3. The French medical service is the best in the world. I ended up paying 150 euros. And that is without medical insurance.

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#19

Walked across America, solo. Experienced a connection with nature that I never expected, built strengths, faced pain and hunger, thrived. Slept in a hammock in trees. Fished and foraged for food. Only one absolute donut of a person, in KC, during ice storm. Everyone else was amazing. Covered all but a handful of 50 states.

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#20

Almost losing my best friend to a crack addiction. I watched her become a shell of herself and was there for her through it all. I was there to help her out of it, and then 1 year later she helped me out of my cocaine addiction. We are both several years clean and are as thick as thrives. If it were not for each other, neither of us would be here today.

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#21

being in a toxic/emotionally abusive relationship at 14 (when i didnt know how to respond or what to look for in a toxic relationship). she was so good at manipulating peoples feelings that i still miss her, even now that i know what she did. it really messed me up. (we only broke up two months ago so its still pretty recent)

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Tamra Stiffler
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You will get a little bit stronger each day you are away from this person. I'm glad you're free from her - you deserve better.

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#22

My most “life changing” experience was the day I was born. My mother died while giving birth to me. 70 years later, I still wonder what it might have been to have known her.

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#23

I have two:
Number one: Probably losing my dog. He passed away prematurely due to being run over by a vehicle on a road by our house. Basically this was the most life-changing because he was one of the biggest parts of my life. I had him since I was one year old. So basically my whole life. Losing him was the hardest thing I’ve ever gone through in my entire life. It taught me grief, and it taught me how to try to move on. I still think about him constantly.
2: (Don’t worry this one is happy, I don’t want to be a party pooper) Moving where I live now. I lived in Redding, California for a few years, but after a while, my family moved to Bend, Oregon. I met the people I know I’m gonna know for the rest of my life. I experienced true happiness and I made new friends and family. I also learned what incredible food was like. Very nice. Changed my entire life.

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Tamra Stiffler
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm so very sorry about your dog. I know how hard that is - they really are great friends, and it's so hard to say goodbye. I promise it will hurt less in time, but it's okay to grieve for him. And I hope you find lots of happiness in Bend - I hear it's really beautiful there. 🙂

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#24

My best friend died from an overdose 2 months before his 31st Birthday and 1 month before I was going to visit him. We met in a recovery program but both ended up relapsing. After a few years he ended up moving down south to get sober and was successful at first. We both would only get messed up occasionally. 2 days before he passed we talked on FaceTime and I remember thinking he looked so much healthier. I got a text from his mom telling me he had died shortly after she found out. My entire life changed in a split second. I was home alone with the child I used to babysit and waited hours for her to call me back with details. I knew exactly what happened and it was devastating. I could not believe that he was gone and the pain I was going through was unbearable. I could not imagine how his mother was feeling. That was it for me I was done I got sober less than a month later and have been clean for almost four and a half years. The thought of putting my family thru so much pain if that were to happen to me was enough to make me finally get sober for real. I miss him every single day, he saved my life and I will live the years I have left for both of us.

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Bobby
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It’s not easy to morph a mind numbing tragedy to a life altering sobriety. I’m so very proud of you! I’d like to plant trees in your friend’s name, via Arbor Day Trees in Memory program. It will be a lasting legacy that you can visit... you and your descendants will be able to walk through his forest, rest in the shade of his trees, cherish your memories through a connection in nature.

#25

Postpartum depression. I hadn’t heard of this condition before, and my mother and other family & friends had never dealt with something like this, and most didn’t even what it was called. I never had dealt with depression before, so it was like a ton of bricks had fallen out of the sky & landed on me. I was so ashamed that I was so sad, and felt guilty about it. I was a mother to this amazing, beautiful, little baby girl, I felt like crying 24/7. I doted on her and made sure she had a ton of attention, love & affection, (I still do, even though she’s very much grown up) but nobody could understand why I was down. It seemed that all the color drained out of my life, and now everything was gray. Then one day I was at the urgent care clinic, and this doctor looked at me (and to this day, this doctor is a hero to me & will always be) and sat down and asked how I was feeling mentally, I poured out everything to him. Then he started to tell me how he went through a dark time, and spoke about depression. Of course he recognized that mine was postpartum, and that was the first day in a long journey that I had an inkling of hope. And as I got more help and was healthier, I made a promise to never be ashamed to relate my experiences to other people, because like that doctor, you never know whose life you are saving. There is so much help available, and even though I lost myself before, I am here and stronger for it.

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Holly B
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was fortunate enough to have a doctor who knew my history and what to look for. Wasn't my first rodeo with depression, but it was probably one of the worst. And then again, with my second. I'm so glad you found that doctor who reached out to you. I hate that you had to go through that for so long alone.

#26

I would have to say a lot, different chapters in life holds different life changing events, but this current chapter I'm in will be this Friday. I have to put my dad on end of life care. He's been on a ventilator for 3.5 months and he's not getting better. I honestly don't believe he'll live through the weekend. He's only 62. This whole experience has definitely changed my life as I know it, and when it's all over I will never be the same.

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Bobby
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You don't have to be the same. Honest. Besides, end of life vigil is a time for gratitude, introspection, review, love. You absolutely cannot forge a path through those and be the same person. Nurture peace, friend.

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#27

I was diagnosed with and incurable and ultimately fatal disease 7 years ago. It turned me into a much better, kinder person. I do volunteer work, I donate money and time, I always help my friends when in need and protect those I care about. It changed my perspective on life and how we should live it. I never waste a day, my friends don’t know where I get this energy from but I use every hour I can. It progresses slowly so I know I got a good couple decades and who knows modern medicine may fix it so I am optimistic.

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Bobby
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You have the most amazing approach to that challenging diagnosis! Rather beautifully expressed, too. How do you do it? Your words carry a sense of peace, acceptance, connection.

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#28

Being a mom. When I found out I was pregnant it changed my whole life. I used a lot of drugs and was in an abusive relationship. The moment I knew my son was in there (luckily it was really early, the test said 1-2 weeks) I quit drugs and smoking, left my abusive boyfriend and started to make sure my life was in order before I went in labor. I didn't want that kind of life for my child. Now I'm a lot happier, more loving and opener to other people. I do still have cptss but I'm in therapy for it. Although it is really hard sometimes to be a single mom, going through intensive therapy and having a son with adhd and maybe autisme, I love being a mom and my son is just such a beautiful and loving child. I really do believe that my son saved my life.

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thee1nonlykRiS
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He absolutely did but u are also making sure he can for sure count on his mama no matter what. It takes courage & I hope u realize how wonderful u are doing everyday even when it's tough! Xx

#29

for me, its making a true friend

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#30

My husband and I had just bought our first house, within that year, I found out he had cheated with a "friend", he left, but just one month prior, my mom, who I was I was incredibly close with and spoke to everyday on the phone, if I didn't see her, was diagnosed with Leukemia. (She pasted away a year later at age 60.) We, husband, two children and myself lived with her prior to buying our house. The two children were in elementary school ages nine and seven and I only had a 2-hour day job working as a lunch lady at the school in the neighborhood for extra money. I didn't think I never come out of that tailspin. I didn't know how I was going to support my children financially, emotionally or pay my bills, keep my house. But you never know how strong you are until you really are put to the test! My mother came to live with me for the last 4 months of her life. I gave her the master bedroom I painted the color she likes and that's where she passed away. I was in that house until both children were grown and on there own.
I'm proud to say they are highly functioning, very loving, kind adults and I did that by myself. Now I'm in a relationship with somebody I've known my whole life, in love and happy. We didn't reconnect until we were 50. Life does get better!

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#31

Divorced parents…….. honesty

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Bobby
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You know, sometimes a divorce allows parents to grow and love in a better way. To become better people. They might make better friends than partners! They'll still love you, and you can talk to them or grandparents, aunties, uncles... they're still family. That will not change.

#32

After years of drug addiction, I got sober. 1 year, four months, 4 days, and counting!

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Zenypツ
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's awesome! It takes a huge amount of determination and perseverance for this to happen, so it makes it all the better. It's also lifechanging, glad to know you're off it now :)

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#33

I have some trauma to unpack, being trafficked, becoming sober from IV drug use, becoming a mom to twins and having one almost die of heart disease ( they are 11 now). Just as I thought ok I'm ok, in each of these, and many other things, but these things in particular..changed me as a person. I got some emotional things to still sort out but overall.. I'm sober, I'm a married mom. And I do my best to be who they need me to be. Stuff the trauma down stuff the residual coating of what these situations have done to me as a human. I'm different.

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#34

Having to identify my brothers body following a fatal motorbike crash in 1978 - he was 17, I was 19, my Mum couldn't be contacted (pre mobile phone days) as she'd gone to a party and hadn't informed anyone where it was and my Dad who was in the RAF was on exercise in Africa ; he didn't find out for 2 days. Changed me and our family mostly for the worse if I'm honest.

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Ruth Watry
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So sorry that you had to go through that - I cannot imagine it

#35

Being kicked out at 19. My mom and I butted heads horribly. Out of the blue she told me I was moving in with my sister in a month, so I better figure it out. I loaded up my bed, dresser, and clothes, and moved from my isolated small town to East LA. I shared a room with my 2 toddler nephews and paid for room and board. When I couldn't find a job, mom said I could move back.
On conditions which boiled down to I had to love jesus. I told her I'd rather live in a card board box in down town LA. My sister offered for me to stay so I wouldn't be homeless. Few weeks later I found a job. I've been financially independent for 21 years. I fear who I would've been if I'd never been kicked out.

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#36

I had a full on psychotic break. I lost all touch with reality, truly and deeply believed that I was a ghost, and couldn't function on any level. I'm not dead because of my best friend who pretty much bodily dragged me through life until I started to come out of it. (To doctor appointments, to therapy, to take my medications, to eat, etc.)

On the other side, though, I'm so much better than I ever was before it happened. It made me realize what was important.

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#37

I was 15 and dating a drug dealer 8 years my senior. I started taking ecstasy, shrooms, acid, and many other drugs in all sorts of combination. Eventually, he got me into meth. I was leading down a very dark road. I tried breaking up with him several times but somehow he manipulated me where I started begging him back into my life. My parents didn’t know what I was doing but they saw how ill I looked. They somehow shipped me off to Asia where I detoxed for a month and got my head straight enough that I was able to break up with him over the phone. I told him I cheated on him (I didn’t) and he started screaming at me and I just hung up the phone. I felt so much relief afterwards that I started crying that it was finally over. I came back to the states and met him to pick up my belongings and I was fine enough to not get sucked back into him. If my parents didn’t send me away, I would be dead. My parents and I haven’t had the best relationship but this I will always be grateful for.

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#38

I enrolled in a top-ranked MBA program at UCLA but my economics professor was a horrible instructor and I was told that I had to take that class with THAT professor. But I decided that was simply not acceptable so I went to another professor teaching the same course and asked if I could enroll in his course. He agreed and I made the transfer. That course changed my life. I learned that prices and wages were set by supply and demand in the market, NOT by greedy bosses and corporatists. And this process prevents inefficient surpluses and shortages, which is why market economies have been the ONLY successful economic system in ALL of human history. Every wage and every price is a FAIR wage/price if it's accepted by workers and consumers. If it wasn't, they would find a better one elsewhere.

Understanding economics helped me to acquire $40 million by age 55 and retire. It's sad that this isn't taught to everyone.

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yellowphantom
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Interesting how it is mainly people who have $40 million dollars or so who believe our current economic system produces optimal-and fair-results for everyone.

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#39

One word ...........Puberty

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Bobby
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well, that brought on shivers of nightmarish memories. Hope you fought through and found balance and peace!

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#40

My husband and I had just bought our first house, within that year, I found out he had cheated with a "friend", he left, but just one month prior, my mom, who I was I was incredibly close with and spoke to everyday on the phone, if I didn't see her, was diagnosed with Leukemia. (She pasted away a year later at age 60.) We, husband, two children and myself lived with her prior to buying our house. The two children were in elementary school ages nine and seven and I only had a 2-hour day job working as a lunch lady at the school in the neighborhood for extra money. I didn't think I never come out of that tailspin. I didn't know how I was going to support my children financially, emotionally or pay my bills, keep my house. But you never know how strong you are until you really are put to the test! My mother came to live with me for the last 4 months of her life. I gave her the master bedroom I painted the color she likes and that's where she passed away. I was in that house until both children were grown and on there own.
I'm proud to say they are highly functioning, very loving, kind adults and I did that by myself. Now I'm in a relationship with somebody I've known my whole life, in love and happy. We didn't reconnect until we were 50. Life does get better!

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Bobby
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh, this is wonderful! You accomplished so much, crafted a new story for yourself and your children.

#41

Moving away from California at 16 years old to [STATE REDACTED] after having a shitty first relationship and a huge mental breakdown. Ended up getting into another shitty relationship after moving that lasted about a month(I was so broken and felt the need for constant validation, and gravitated towards the wrong people to get it), and finally two weeks after the other shitty relationship ended(looking back, I shouldn't have jumped back into a relationship so soon, but it ended up working out okay), I got into a 2 year relationship that ended last year. That was the first time I was ever with someone who genuinely cared about me, and was able to help me learn to love myself again.
TL;DR: Moving to a whole new state ended up being the best thing for my mental health.
PS: The 2 year relationship ended because of distance(we lived over an hour away from each other) I think. The guy said that he just didn't feel the same anymore. Abd upon further reflection it started to become clear that he wanted someone who he could have seggs with, and I wasn't giving that to him, sooo. 😬

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#42

When I first met my best friend, Ace.

So I'm on this platform called "Scratch" that is meant for kids but I still use. When I first started out I saw an account and began talking to the person. Little did I know that 18 months later, me and that person would still be best friends. We talk pretty much daily and Ace has helped me through so much and I've helped her as well. She's helped me with my depression a ton and helped me grow as a person! I don't know what I would do without her. Sorry for the small rant but that's what changed my life.

TL;DR
I was on a kids website and I met my best friend ever.

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Alex The Fanperson
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I love Scratch! My username is @ZerefDragneelsSister! Damn, I thought I was the only one!

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#43

My husband’s death. We were 50 years old, about to relocate to a new city due to work and he unexpectedly died. My heart hasn’t healed, there’s a nice big scar there. However, since, I’ve learned a lot about me, my kids, and how much I learned from my husband throughout our marriage. I’m able to take what I learned and support others who travel this path. I’m still lonely in a way my friends can’t fulfill, but I see a future that although not what I had planned 10 years ago, is still optimistic and fulfilling.

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#44

tl;dr version: College

Grew up on a somewhat conservative community, full of the shame based behavioral social control. Not extreme, but basic white working class type. While I did not participate in much of the worst ("homo-bashing" , insulting or threatening immigrants, cat-calling) I was friends with many who did this. Severe insecurities and desire to fit in somewhere. Always at the back of my mind was "Why do this? What did [hated group] do to you? After HS got blue collar job for 8 years and situation pretty much the same.

Being laid-off lead to trying college. Since it was a mix of trades, professional programs, and university coursed, I was exposed to a MUCH wider range of people and as the saying goes "the scales fell from my eyes". Made friends with Sikhs, partied with the LBGTQ community, got invited to the reserve, had people open up to me about deeply personal stuff that helped me to open up as well. The extra icing on top was meeting my wife of 25 years.

Oh, and the education part was good as well.

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Colt Rome
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ohh yeah just ehh okay education for a 600,000 dollar program no biggie

#45

Became a widow. Half of me is now gone . . .

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Zenypツ
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

im so sorry for your loss :( . Hopefully things are getting better for you.

#46

my first real relationship. I was head over heels for the first year or so.
After this love blind phase wore off I saw him cheating, being an absolut useless human being (dropped ou of school, no job, no driving license, just gaming all day) and him being somewhat abusive. He wasn't really abusive as you might think but he somehow managed to make me super insecure, his family was rude to me and always tried to change me to more like them.
They (and he) wanted me to get baptized so I could marry him in the church even tho they knew I'm against every type religion, he wanted me to stop wearing make up and stop getting tattoos.
In october 2020 I made the decision to end this relationship but I didn't had the couirage to do so.
I broke up in february 2021 and it was the best decision I ever made.
I regained my confidence, got more tattoos, have a great job and I'm living my life as best as I can (I would do way more but our world is pretty f****d up)

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#47

Two major events. The first one was my parent's divorce when I was 4 (for me it was better w/o my dad, can't say the same thing for my older brothers). I grew up pretty well, at least from the outside. The second one was breaking up with my 7 years BF, we already talked about our marriage but it went downhill from there. It's safe to say that I can't be the person I am today if they stay in my life.

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#48

My Biological father and mother could look after due to physical and mental illnesses, so me and my twin were taking into foster care. Fast forward a few years and my biological father passes away and my biological mother's condition worsens, at this point me and my twin are 12. My foster mother and father decided to permanently foster us, this meant that we could still see our biological mother, something we wouldn't be able to so if my foster parents adopted us. 3 years later we conjoin our biological and foster parent's surnames.

We are all happy now.

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#49

The deaths of 2 of my children. I have lived through the deaths of my parents, a partner, numerous friends and pets and none of these even comes close to losing a child. All of these other losses are expected, or at least a statistical probability, in the course of modern life, as much as we try to deny death. But your child is supposed to outlive you; they are, to you, immortal. When that expectation is destroyed, the Universe shifts and nothing ever feels "right" again. It does not fade, you do not "get over it" and I wish everyone in my life would stop trying to force me to. I am not and never will be the person I was. I live in a different reality now and have started across the bridge we will all cross, whatever may or may not lie on the other side. My children are there and so is part of me. Please remember these words when someone you know loses a child and, please, keep saying their child's name. It is the most beautiful sound they can ever know.

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Colt Rome
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My deepest apologies if my parents lost me they would feel the same way aswell.

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#50

I was woken up in the worst possible way and time, which gave me two weeks of amnesia. Trying to prevent a recurrence, I had to move to the boondocks and give up all my projects.

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MetaMaxNL
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

i'm sorry i'm really struggling to understand you but hope your ok now?

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#51

Cliche I know, but the birth of my daughter. It changed me as a person, made me realise what I was put on this earth for, about the only thing in my life that gives it any meaning or purpose.

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#52

My husband died

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#53

When I was 23, my 26-year old husband died of sleep apnea. I had a 2-year old child and was 7 months pregnant. He had never gotten around to changing the beneficiary on his life insurance so it went to his parents. They kept it.

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#54

I had a terrible childhood at the hands of a narcissistic mom and passive dad. The things done to my older siblings don’t bear thinking of.
I was ‘allowed’ in my 20’s to volunteer at a charity and met a fabulous man. We were married a month later. We’ve been together for 35 years now. My life is blessed.
People can make or break you. If you think you are worthless, just know you’ve been taught that by someone or something, and you can do better.

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#55

Someone finally believing me and getting me the help that I need. Knowing that what I went through all those years actually wasn't normal was....indescribable.

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#56

In my grandmother's older years she had type 2 diabetes the first time she went to the hospital she was rehabilitated and returned home the second time the same thing but the third time she was not allowed to leave was stuck there for the rest of her life everytime we went to visit she needed help eating and drinking she couldn't even drink anything unless it was in a slushie form she stayed there until 2018 when she passed away.

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