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Hey Pandas, What’s The Most Hurtful Thing You’ve Accidentally Overheard About Yourself? (Closed)
I believe most of us have that one moment when somebody said something that hurt us to the core, unaware that we could hear it. Or worse, did it intentionally for us to hear.
Let's have a little relief by sharing.
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People say I'm racist because I either ignore or tell off the boys who bully me. Most of them are just tanned; the one who started the rumor is black. People, I don't care about your race. But I'm not dealing with you being a jerk to me for every day for four years.
I was always a chubby kid. I was bullied horribly for it (in hindsight, I wasn't grotesque, I wasn't lazy, I had just grown very fast in a short amount of time and my body hadn't worked it all out yet). I was laying in bed one morning and heard my parents in the kitchen. My dad asked my stepmother, "Did ItsJess get her fat a$$ out of bed yet?". I have never forgotten the way that sounded, hearing such hurtful words from someone who's supposed to support you. My dad denies ever saying it. It definitely contributed to the way I feel about how I look, even today, many years later. When I hear a voice in my head, denigrating me, it sounds like my dad.
TL;DR version-- I overheard my friends agreeing not to be friends with me anymore because they were afraid of getting bullied as bad as I was just by association.
What happened: When I was in junior high school, I was bullied unmercifully. I was very quiet and didn't know how to stand up for myself. It was really severe. I had cigarettes burned into my back, I had a group of boys drag me into the bathroom and rip my clothes off, I had my locker set on fire, I was beaten with a field hockey stick. A kid hit me in the head with a book once right in front of a teacher and when I yelled at him, *I* got sent to the office for swearing. I had stuff stolen from me. It was horrible. 2 teachers actually got in trouble for what they allowed to happen to me. A girl squirted lighter fluid on me and lit a match. Thankfully I was not hurt but my mother called the police about that one. And all of this because I dared say the name of a popular girl's boyfriend. (back in the 90s there was this thing where you didn't say the name of another girl's boyfriend. I happened to babysit a boy with the same name and she thought I was talking about him...I went through 2 years of hell because of it.)
I had a small group of 'friends' who I'd hang out with. We used to meet up at one girl's house who lived on the corner right near the school and we'd walk over when we heard the bell ring. One day I got to her house and as I walked to her room I overheard the girls all talking about how they wanted to tell me not to hang out with them anymore. They were so scared that by hanging out with me THEY would start getting bullied, too, so they wanted to tell me to leave. It was one of the few times I got violently angry. I was so hurt. They were my only friends and wouldn't stand with me. It made me really untrusting of people even to this day. Thankfully high school was much better.
Kate, I'm so sorry you had to go through this. What an awful thing to happen to you. Bullies are cowards and those so called friends are also cowards. I hope you have found happiness now and believe in yourself. You are not at fault - you are lovely and kind and deserve happiness and love. I'm sending you a whopping big hug.
I didn't actually HEAR it, it was written on a piece of paper. My paternal grandmother had made a list of everything that was "'wrong" with me. I don't believe in god. I didn't talk enough. I wasn't friendly enough. I was too skinny. My skin was too dark (I'm Filipino, she's white). My clothes were too dark. I didn't wear dresses. All kinds of stupid sh*t. I lived with her at the time and I found it in her BIBLE. I was even more quiet and unfriendly after that lol. I was 17 at the time. Oh, and her bridge club friends, all little old white-haired ladies, asked why I looked like a N-word. Southern Baptists, all of them.
I lived in a very small town and was surrounded by people who were just as bad. I'm sorry that you are going through this torture. I hope things have gotten better for you.
My therapist called me manipulative and a jerk.
He also told me that being trans was selfish to my family because they would have to live with other people knowing that they were related to the tr@nny.
It really messed me up, I had a lot of trouble trusting my next therapist and still haven't told her about my preferred name and pronouns because of how awfully it went last time. Every time I think back to the younger me sitting in that office, my heart hurts
WHAT ????? That jerk needs to be shut down! Medical board at the very least! Go get ‘em
My mother's ex told her I was stupid and should be put in asylum.
This was after I discussed an argument we had, and he walked away in the middle of it.
F**k him. She is safe and happy now in a good marriage, whom I can argue and disagree with freely LOL
A few years after my dad died I heard my stepmom telling her friend that my dad wasn't sure if he was biologically my dad or not. He raised me, he was my hero, and now I can't even talk to him about it. Yeah that hurt.
Overheard my family members ranting to each other about what an attention seeker I am and how there's clearly something wrong with me if I've been faking my depression for two years straight; that I should be sent to an asylum; that I should be given placebo pills; that they're so sick of me and I'm "driving [them] up the wall"; and all these other lovely names sprinkled liberally in between these statements like "idiot" "stupid" "annoying". All from the people who are meant to support me.
That's horrible, to have your entire family against you when you need them the most. Some people truly have no empathy and it baffles me. I think those of us that have been hurt the most have the most empathy toward others.
Someone asking me if my friend was my wingman to meet guys because she was so pretty. Meaning I was not and needed the help I guess.
I live in subsidized housing, there are about 60-70 other apartments. One of my neighbors recently sexually assaulted me (I asked him to leave so I could pass out, as I'd been drinking. He didn't leave and I woke up to him groping me). Out of embarrassment and shame, I haven't told most ppl here. That neighbor was charged with lewd& lacivious conduct, a restraining order was issued. Other neighbors have come to me, to say that this pervert is spreading rumors about me; that I'm just a s**t, that he had done sex acts with me prior to this incident, that I have an std, and that I drink and drug while my young son is home (he was not home when I was assaulted).
The detective says to keep a journal and document it, to tell the court how badly this has ruined my life. But nobody will stop him from slandering me to all of my neighbors!
As an added bonus, the neighbor that I'd had a crush on, now refuses to talk to me because I didn't instantly call the police about these rumors.
This wasn't accidentally overheard, my father literally told me "why should I get to know him when you live far away and we rarely see each other?" about my son. P***es me off every time I think about it
Once in third grade, me and 2 of my friends were planning a sleepover at my house. While we were planning I said that we can play my wii but I only had 2 controllers. Then I said we can alternate whose playing. The one of them said they would just shoot me and play the game with the other friend.
The sleepover never happend.
P.s. he probably ment it as a joke but I still find it kind of offensive.
I was in school, going to lunch when I saw some friends. I said hi, talked, and I said a joke. I forgot it because of when I was pretty young, bit I think that was pretty offensive, because they yelled at me. I was popular at the time, and the girls I were talking to were the popular too, so everybody hated me. Soon I got over it, When I overheard a huge group call me names. Not "dumb" or "ugly", it was names that were bad word names, like N***r and A*****e. I overheard, and at the end of school my eyes were full of tears. But soon enough I learned my friends were in the group, and they pretended to be my friend. I moved schools, and even now, I still cry a little when I think of that time.
School is awful. Work hard, graduate & go into the real world. It’s not perfect, but I promise it’s better than school (especially middle school)
Years ago I was at a family party and I was saving up money to buy my own house. I didn't make much money at the time and my mom sometimes did my laundry and shrunk alot of my clothes. I went to the local good will and found better fitting outfits and I over heard my cousins at the table acrossed from me
laughing and saying "wtf is she wearing ? Omg she's so weird." It was a white polo and khaki shorts... I'm not into designer clothes. Also I don't talk to them anymore.
30-something years ago but still stings when I remember it... at a party with friends, boyfriend-at-the-time, his brother + his girlfriend. Overheard the g/f (who I had known by then about a year) talking to one of MY friends about ME: "hmmm, no, I don't think she's what I would call "pretty"...she's really just a very plain-Jane..." in a very disgusted kind of voice. Not at all even pretending to be nice or gentle about it to MY friend. My friend did not disagree or say something to stand up for me, and didn't even come to tell me about the sh*t-talk happening behind my back. If I hadn't overheard it, I'd never have known. Fast forward 4 more years....we became sisters-in-law (married the brothers). Always, ALWAYS felt "less-than" in her company. She had an affluent childhood, I came from poverty and abuse. Never ever felt fully, truly accepted as a valued family member. Faster forward... divorced 20 years now, still hear that awful message repeating in the background of my brain at times. Terrible thing.
I hope you dropped that so called friend. Awww... I hope that you know, you are NOT what she said about you...(((((HUGS)))))
that as a baby, i used to always vomit a fair amount after being fed. everyone didn't want to feed me/hold me. it's always been consistently brought up by family at family gatherings, usually at a meal in front of a lot of people. it actually explains a lot of my mental issues
Sarah and Jane - good friends
Lola - mean girl
Jocelyn - victim of Lola
I had two really good friends from 2-5th grade. (Let's call them Sarah and Jane (not real names.)). One day in 4th grade, a new girl named Lola (not her real name) came to school and put herself in our friend group. A bit awkward, but ok. Then, Lola began bullying Sarah, Jane, and another girl, Jocelyn (not her real name.) Lola began stealing Jocelyn's lunch money, calling her names, and getting on her for being poor. Slowly, Lola, Sarah, and Jane began bullying me.
One day, Lola passed a note to me. It roughly said: "We don't like you anymore." Signed Sarah, Jane, and Lola. Sarah and Jane wouldn't make eye contact with me.
The next day, they came up to me and said their truth. They didn't actually know that Lola had written the note, and she had forged their signatures.
I no longer have any contact with any of them.
my ex's mother to my ex "does she even know what commen sence is?"
My mom told someone she didn't love me because I took too much of my dad's attention.
This must have hurt like hell. Mykidsartrocks (cool name), I have a friend who's mother is jealous of her (daughter) because she gets on better with her father than the mother. Some women can't handle this and see the daughter as some form of competition. I hope you are ok now.
Not really overheard, but something I’ve been told recently. My now ex gf of 4-5 months started dating someone else whilst we were having a break. She won’t tell me how long for but it put a lot of things together, such as why she asked my to tell everyone we weren’t going to get back together. Her and her new partner who just came out as NB today used to be in my huge friend group but now idk who to trust because most of them knew and she’s friends with most of them closer than I am so I just feel so isolated. My bestie found out and we were hanging out and she told me. Idk if this counts but yeah, that hurt
Oh this counts alright! Don’t let them gaslight you. You were not treated well. Narrow down the friend circle to those you CAN trust, & dump the rest. Give it some time & maybe get some counseling. It’ll get better, I promise!
At my now ex-brother in laws engagement party, mother in law's bestie had no idea who I was or that I had been living with my now ex bf for nine years. The look on her face was priceless, made me angry though. For the 15 yrs. we ended up being together, he barely worked or walked the dogs. F***** him and his mommy darling.
"That girl's grandfather" - I am in my 40s.
In primary school
Buncha kids who hated me, mostly girls
Over heard one pf them saying they would rather me be six foot under than standing in front of them
We moved away but that s**t hurt
Also, qfter we moved, have an teacher who consistently says i have tourettes and somethings wrong with me, always says it loud and in front of the entire class, somekids have started saying now. Been going of for almost 3 years
TL;DR I moved into a new area and a bunch of people spread rumors about me so a church leader thought she needed to straighten me out and then 6 months later a friend spreads rumors about me resulting in me having a name for myself only 9 months into an area.
I had church leader go on a rant to my face in which she called me a horrible person without saying it. She said she wanted to make sure I "didn't lose friends." I had only moved in recently so I didn't have friends. She went off on me for rumors that she didn't bother checking the truth. Now yes I had said some offensive things but I tried to apologize each time I realized I hurt someone's feelings, but there were things she brought up that were utter lies. Now I don't like hurting others and feel devastated when I learn I hurt someone, but I'm frank and I really have been working on not offending people so learning people thought I was this terrible person felt horrible. To this day my sister who saw 30 seconds of the encounter is scared of that lady. I felt like a terrible person and almost stopped talking entirely (I was an extreme extrovert before). Then what hurt almost as bad was people said they liked the new me and I felt even worse. I am better 6 months later I talk like an extrovert (with a better filter) but some days now I just don't feel like talking randomly so I don't. I am trying to improve so no one can blame me of what she blamed me of without being entirely wrong, but I'm grateful that I have the ability to improve.
Also my friend who knows that I went through some stuff at the start of the school year and that plenty of rumors about me already circulate thought after I said I saw us as friends not more, that it would be great to start spreading rumors that me and another friend were being romantic behind her back. (I may be the only guy in a friend group, but I see them all as friends)
Because of the two things above and other people hating me when I first moved here some people at school who don't know me think I am horrible person and have a crush on half the girls in the school🤦🏼♂️. It has been interesting, I'll introduce myself to other people and sometimes people tell me that I have crazy rumors and laugh about them then others just start looking at me weird(honestly this helps me determine if I want to be friends with someone or not). (No I'm not popular but some people in school say I am)
P.S. Sending love to those who posted here and everyone who's to shy to share. Everyone has their struggles and I hope you get through yours❤️.
Am glad to know you are doing so much better now. So-called "Christian church leaders" can be some of the nastiest, most hypocritical people on the face of the earth.
“Your ugly,” and “slow poke.” I know it isn’t as bad as the rest but these were said straight to my face.
When I was in middle school (more than 45 years ago), I was in a school play as part of a chorus. A kid next to me said to the kid on the other side of him - change places with me, this kid stinks. That hurt my feelings - could have been my singing, or costume or how I took it - smell. Not devastating but hurtful nonetheless.
I live in subsidized housing, there are about 60-70 other apartments. One of my neighbors recently sexually assaulted me (I asked him to leave so I could pass out, as I'd been drinking. He didn't leave and I woke up to him groping me). Out of embarrassment and shame, I haven't told most ppl here. That neighbor was charged with lewd& lacivious conduct, a restraining order was issued. Other neighbors have come to me, to say that this pervert is spreading rumors about me; that I'm just a s**t, that he had done sex acts with me prior to this incident, that I have an std, and that I drink and drug while my young son is home (he was not home when I was assaulted).
The detective says to keep a journal and document it, to tell the court how badly this has ruined my life. But nobody will stop him from slandering me to all of my neighbors!
As an added bonus, the neighbor that I'd had a crush on, now refuses to talk to me because I didn't instantly call the police about these rumors.
I'm not sure how this double-posted, sorry Pandas
People say I'm racist because I either ignore or tell off the boys who bully me. Most of them are just tanned; the one who started the rumor is black. People, I don't care about your race. But I'm not dealing with you being a jerk to me for every day for four years.
Sorry, I haven't done this before, something went wrong. I'm going to repost. Sorry again
TL;DR I moved into a new area and a bunch of people spread rumors about me so a church leader thought she needed to straighten me out and then 6 months later a friend spreads rumors about me resulting in me having a name for myself only 9 months into an area.
I had church leader go on a rant to my face in which she called me a horrible person without saying it. She said she wanted to make sure I "didn't lose friends." I had only moved in recently so I didn't have friends. She went off on me for rumors that she didn't bother checking the truth. Now yes I had said some offensive things but I tried to apologize each time I realized I hurt someone's feelings, but there were things she brought up that were utter lies. Now I don't like hurting others and feel devastated when I learn I hurt someone, but I'm frank and I really have been working on not offending people so learning people thought I was this terrible person felt horrible. To this day my sister who saw 30 seconds of the encounter is scared of that lady. I felt like a terrible person and almost stopped talking entirely (I was an extreme extrovert before). Then what hurt almost as bad was people said they liked the new me and I felt even worse. I am better 6 months later I talk like an extrovert (with a better filter) but some days now I just don't feel like talking randomly so I don't. I am trying to improve so no one can blame me of what she blamed me of without being entirely wrong, but I'm grateful that I have the ability to improve.
Also my friend who knows that I went through some stuff at the start of the school year and that plenty of rumors about me already circulate thought after I said I saw us as friends not more, that it would be great to start spreading rumors that me and another friend were being romantic behind her back. (I may be the only guy in a friend group, but I see them all as friends)
Because of the two things above and other people hating me when I first moved here some people at school who don't know me think I am horrible person and have a crush on half the girls in the school🤦🏼♂️. It has been interesting, I'll introduce myself to other people and sometimes people tell me that I have crazy rumors and laugh about them then others just start looking at me weird(honestly this helps me determine if I want to be friends with someone or not). (No I'm not popular but some people in school say I am)
P.S. Sending love to those who posted here and everyone who's to shy to share. Everyone has their struggles and I hope you get through yours❤️.
I'm not sure why mine was posted double, I wish I knew, but I put a note at the bottom of the second one to warn ppl
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Ever since I was about 15 I've always been told I look like a b***h. I embrace that. It keeps away the type of people I don't want to have anything to do with. If you bother to get to know me you would find out different. It's very freeing actually.
Same here, but hey, they dont know you inside and out and im sure ur a wonderful person. I kinda like being called a b***h cos it means you have character right Im almost 15 n have been called that by kids at school since i was about 8
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The more I know of him the more respect I lose for him. Overheard that about me on a phone call my s/o was having. Right then and there decided the person wasn't worth my time and have not lifted a finger to help them anymore.
Not trying to be a jerk, but I feel like most of these posts were made by kids?
Lots of issues start at a young age. Does it matter how old the posters are?
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I'm not sure why mine was posted double, I wish I knew, but I put a note at the bottom of the second one to warn ppl
Load More Replies... Ever since I was about 15 I've always been told I look like a b***h. I embrace that. It keeps away the type of people I don't want to have anything to do with. If you bother to get to know me you would find out different. It's very freeing actually.
Same here, but hey, they dont know you inside and out and im sure ur a wonderful person. I kinda like being called a b***h cos it means you have character right Im almost 15 n have been called that by kids at school since i was about 8
Load More Replies... The more I know of him the more respect I lose for him. Overheard that about me on a phone call my s/o was having. Right then and there decided the person wasn't worth my time and have not lifted a finger to help them anymore.
Not trying to be a jerk, but I feel like most of these posts were made by kids?
Lots of issues start at a young age. Does it matter how old the posters are?
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