Hey Pandas, tell us about the dumbest thing you've heard anyone tell you! Whether it would be in person or somewhere in the depths of the internet.
Sometimes it could be accidental, sometimes our brain is just not functioning as well as it should be after a long, tiring, or just overall a stressful day.
So please, share the dumbest thing you've heard someone say! I believe all of us need a good laugh to make our day just a tiny bit brighter. Also, let's keep our replies positive and supportive as much as possible!
Deadass some girl said in my f***ing HISTORY class (keep in mid we are SENIORS!!!!) that black people originated from white people painting their faces to be a darker shade!!!
I’ve never been more disappointed in the human race
When I was in college, a christian trying to convert told during our conversation that " You know Satan put fossils on earth to test your faith." I just looked at her and just laughed. Another gem was in high school when a friends sister, who was 16 at the time, I was 17 said to me "did you know rabbits don't lay eggs?"
I (22F back then) was working on a film shoot (I work in costumes) and an obnoxious assistant director who had something to say about every single thing decided to pick on me. I was wearing denim jeggings which fastened at the side, so the zipper was the length my hip. I preferred them since they offer a smoother front with certain blouses/tees. Anyway, he kept asking me "where I got my fancy pants from" and tried to get everyone else on it. No one was ready to buy it. Finally, he loudly asked, "how do you even pee with those pants?" and I replied, "like everyone other woman, I un-zip, pull them down and sit on the toilet." His mouth opened like a goldfish for a few seconds and he then went away.
My sister, at 17 and a half years of age, said: "Is that why they're called containers? Because they contain things?"
When I was around 10 my older brother had a friend who hung out at our place a lot. One day as I walked through the room where the two of them were watching TV the friend stopped me. Apart from saying hello we never talked to each other before. He said I could pop into the kitchen and make some pancakes for them. I said I wasn't there to serve them and I didn't even know how to make bloody pancakes. His stunned answer: "but... you're a girl!"
This happened a while back - my 6th grade class was discussing how to reduce our carbon footprint, and eco-friendly things like that, and then it got to this kid, who already was known for saying some dumb things.
I want to call him out by name so the whole world knows, but I wont do that.
(I will warn you, he uses the word 'like' a lot.
He said this:
"We shouldn't, like, you know, like, cut down trees, cause like, like, its bad for like the, like, environment, and like, it puts more carbon, into like, the air." He then thought for a second, and continued with "but maybe like, it's ok for the, like, rich people, who like, need to cut down, like trees, for their, like, fancy golf courses, and like mansions"
(sorry about all the like, you know, 'like' s)
The moon landing was faked by Russian scientists trying to get us not to go to the moon and all The astronauts were killed and replaced by Russian clones. Said by kid in AP bio, had evidence to back it up
Brown eggs are healthier since they haven’t gotten bleached (into white eggs).
Somebody once told me, if a person knows how to say "hello" "my name is" "good morning" in a language, they are fluent and can now speak to natives.
Apparently the person who told me this is a polyglot who knows 40 languages :)
A friend said that the super bowl has been around for longer than the united states since they have been 48 S.B's and only 44 presidents. (This was a while ago, so the numbers are wrong.)
I was at McDonald's a couple of years ago inside with my mom. She let me order, and I asked for a happy meal and listed everything I wanted in that meal and then I said "Oh! And can I please have the dragon toy?" Because, beyond my wildest dreams, McDonald's finally had a plastic dragon. But the employee said "Don't you want the girl prize?" and held up some weird fruit scented doll.
FIRST off, please don't assume gender (even though I am female), and second, ENOUGH WITH THE GENDER SORTING, I LIKE DRAGONS AND NOT DOLLS, OKAY!?!?
When discussing human evolution I said that all modern humans descended from Africans. A Croat chipped in and said 'except Croatians, we are autochthons'. I asked him to explain and he said that Croatians independently appeared in Croatia, without evolving from monkeys or descending from Africans.
I literally did not known where to begin, such was the historical and anthropological disconnect. I can only surmise that there is a strange sect of fact-free nationalism to which he subscribed.
my ex sister-in-law thought Canada was in France, cause they speak French....seriously!!
1. That COVID is a hoax
2. Men are superior to women
3. That LGBTQ+ people are going to burn in hell (I´m a lesbian)
4. That aetheists are going to burn in hell (I´m an aetheist)
5. And a bunch of other racist/sexist/homophobic BS
Believe it or not, I worked with a guy who told me you cannot take a photo of a rainbow. No really, he was dead serious. Now this was way back in the day when the only computers were the kind that filled an entire room, had to have noisy (I wore earplugs and it saved my hearing!) air conditioning on a raised floor, and ran just one job at a time. Because PCs and PDAs had not been invented yet, I had to wait until the next day to bring in my photographs of rainbows, to which he said that they must have been drawn in like a painting..."HELLO VILLAGE...we found your IDIOT!"
My second child was a planned cesarean. Then doctor who performed the surgery also tied my tubes at that time, as we didn't want any more children. I saw him frequently during the pregnancy. I went in for my 6 week checkup and he asked what I was doing for birth control. I said nothing. He then lectured me on not getting pregnant again too soon. I reminded him of my surgery. I actually started laughing.
My friend started dating with a 40-something, divorced man. He said with all seriousness that women don't fart because they don't have bowels. He lived with a woman for years, they had a daughter together... My friend was anything but shy so she promptly illustrated the fact that we do indeed have digestive systems...
Same friend worked as a waitress and one of her colleagues were working on a crossword puzzle. My friend looked at her puzzle and said that the three letter "mammal living in water" is likely not "HAL" (fish in Hungarian) but "CET" (whale in Hungarian). The girl looked at her, thought for a second then came back with "well maybe, but HAL fits into 3 squares!".
Another colleague of her was feeling very poorly one day, she kept throwing up. They had the following discussion:
- Don't you think you might be pregnant?
- Naaah, that's impossible!
- Oh, I thought you had a live in boyfriend.
- And you have two kids so you certainly are not barren, right?
- Did you have your tubes tied or he had a vasectomy?
- So you two like... don't have sex?
- Yeah, we do, all the time.
- And do you use protection?
- No, he doesn't like that.
- So then how is it impossible?!
Mormons have babies because all of the spirit children are trapped in a cloud, so they have a bunch of kids to save them.
in 4th grade, I remember someone asking me, and I quote "What's Obama's last name?" I reply with "Leslie" and leave.
that made my day lol
I am a woman working in I.T. so I have a million of them. One that stands out was the woman who called in a rage because her new pc wasn't working. When I tried to help she told me she would rather "talk to one of the men." She refused to co-operate with me when I asked her questions and was incredibly rude to me. Turns out that her monitor was turned off. Normally I wouldn't bill for something like that, but her attitude cost her a half hour labour charge.
A girl in 8th grade honors science asks, after our pleas and explanations that she shouldn't embarrass herself, raises her hand and asks so the entire class can hear, "Why isn't wood on the periodic table?" I never liked her anyways.
This wasn't said to me, but I overheard a kid in middle school tell his friend that canadian hippies are legal when they cross the US/Canada border.
In 7th grade science, we were learning about fossils (not a super in depth lesson, but just how they are created and how the affect the earth) and (also if you've never heard about Lucy, she was apparently found in a lake bed, fossilized from about 3 million years ago. She is one of the first 'humanoid (thingies)' ever found) any way so we watched a video about her, and then the whole class was talking and suddenly a girl raised her hand and said, "how do they know what her name was?" and we had to legit explain it to her that scientists named her. She was serious.
I am the product of an Irish American father and a Mexican mother (she is still a Mexican citizen). In grade school, with mostly a Hispanic population, I was told that my mother was not Mexican because she wasn't brown and didn't have an accent. My mom grew up speaking 3 languages, including English, from childhood. All I could do was roll my eyes at the ignorance.
A friend of mine tried to convince me that mermaids were real. His reasoning was because he saw the mockumentary about mermaids on discovery channel and were convinced they were real, I expected that from my then 6 year old niece but not from a 29 year old man.
When I was 12 someone in my class asked if we could be friends. I said no because she screamed at me every time I was late to class but then called me rude if I talked back (she was one of those kids that thought she was a teacher). She said "BuT yOu ShOuLdN't NoT bE fRiEnDs WiTh SoMeOnE jUsT bEcAuSe ThEy'Ve BeEn MeAn To YoU"
The earth is flat, the moon landing was fake, and my all time favorite, Karen's aren't a threat to society
My friend was pressuring me to take off my mask, she kept saying inhaling your own germs can kill you, especially when you’re breathing heavy. Let’s just say, we don’t get along as well as we used to anymore.
"I went on a vacation to Hawaii and swam with Tortoises."
This was my teacher, and he wouldn't believe me that Tortoises couldn't swim even after I looked it up. He though Turtles from Hawaii were called Tortoises.
One time I was at petco with my parrots and some random lady came and told me ''The only animal that should be here are dogs and they must have a face covering on'' I know this sounds fake but this lady was wearing a mullet anything is possible i guess.
A little hard to explain. They thought "Indian" was a general term for any pre-colonial American and questioned why there was a country in Asia called India. Partly the fault of the language as a whole I suppose
During a biology presentation,(anonymous) keeps saying orgasms instead of organisms. We all had a good laugh.
you know the saying, "cats have nine lives", well I'm going to share a story with u guys about my idiotic friend, that though his cat rebirth...
here's the dialog,
F= hey mate, you know I have a cat!
me= yeah cool mate what breed?
F= Birman mate
me= damn blue eyes and nice coat?
F= yeah, she's a beauty mate
me= how old is she?
F= 3 years mate... and 8 lives aswell
me= uhh, mate why does she have only 8 lives?
F= oh, I forgot to tell you she used one of her 9 lives to rebirth?
me= come again?
F= she rebirthed when she was 13 so she is 3 years old!
me= you know the saying about cats having 9 lives?
f= yeah mate they rebirth, isn't that Sick!!
me= uhh... no your wrong
me= the most accurate reason is that cats land on all of there paws that's why they say cats have 9 lives
f= your lying
me= find out yourself
a few weeks later his cat died, and I haven't seen him ever since.
btw this happened last year, thanks for listening :)
A close friend of mine babysat a boy (5 years old) who believed that girls were boys who had their private parts cut off for bad behaviour...
Something tells me those parents are REALLY messed up.
Btw, my friend was a girl and found out when the boy asked her what she did to have hers "cut off".
Me: Hey Bri, can I tell you something?
Brianna: Sure what is it?
Me: I'm panromantic
Brianna: What the bloody hell does that mean?
Me: I don't care whatever gender a person is, as long as they're okay I could possibly like them
Brianna: So you could like girls?
Brianna: Ew get away from me you freak
Watching Avengers Endgame in a theater. Someone in a seat in the front yelled ¨TONY STARK DIES AND THANOS GETS SNAPPED AWAEEEEEEEE!¨
After the movie, like 6 guys beat him up XDDDD
One classmate said to me that if my palm is bigger than my face, i have AIDS and HIV.
We were at olive garden when my sister asked all of us if french fries were italian *face palm*
Was asked the other day- "Are you still grieving?" My baby died 4 months ago. Of freaking course I'm still grieving. Why would you even ask that question?
My dad once told me that if lesbians just "kept an open mind" they would find they really like [men] too. It was directed at me because he assumed I'm a lesbian without confronting me.
so my 12 years old sister said that alligators are in Miami, and my 18 Years old sister said "Yeah or Florida". She's never moving out
A woman I work with told me she wants to go to the Arctic Circle to see the penguins...........................
My sister is adamant that not only the Holocaust didn't happen, but also that 9/11 was an inside job, the Moon Landing was filmed on a Vegas film set, and that vaccines cause health problems such as autism. Talk about moron
Once a friend of mine told me that my dog cant be a dog because she doesn't chase cats. -__-
That Twilight was better than Harry Potter. Even Robert Pattison (cedric Diggory and Edward) said that he would HATE twilight if he didnt act in it.
Ok. To set the picture. I am working for a Big Box Retailer. I am not only wearing the approved pants and shirt, I am also wearing a vest, a name badge, and I am taking boxes from a cart, opening them and placing rhe products on the shelf.
"Do you work here?"
this wasnt to me but i overheard someone saying that they thought the birds in someones garden were swans and someone else said they were ducks. the birds were GEESE. (bear in mind the people i overheard were 14-15 years old)
someone once told me that knives were sharp enough to cut flesh
I was 12 and they were too
A guy yelled at me, because he disagreed when I said that scientists had figured out a way to remove salt from salt water. I just glared at him. I don't argue with fools.
I had fellow tennis player tell me I couldn’t win any matches because I was a girl. He said the same thing to many other middle school female players. I may or may not have hit a well-aimed ball directly at his face (it hit)
I'm bi too! But i would never date a girl... and I've never had a crush on one... I just think that girls are pretty! So I'm part of the lgbgt i guess!
I talked to her a little bit longer and she realized she was straight -_-
When I was in preschool (age 4) one of the girls was a little diva and I didn't like her. I never did anything bad to her but one day she said "your voice sounds like a boy" than walked away laughing with two other girls like she was in mean girls or something. I was FOUR I had a squeaky high pitched voice...
My sister said the pandemic would be over "in like two months".
Back in March.
Spoilers: she was wrong
"How do you know you are bi? you've never been in a relationship before." The person saying this has also never been in a relationship, but when I asked the same question, they replied with "that's different, i'm not gay"
The Dumbest Thing Anyone Said To Me Was, ''Would you rather be strong, or lesbian?'' I was like, Wth?
A girl in my class thought that William Shakespeare was on the dollar bill.
I play chess competitively. One day, I was playing in tournament the guy I was paired to play was acting really cocky and said to his coach, “Oh, this game will be easy. It’s a girl. How good can she be?”. I heard him say that and proceeded to mop the floor with him and beat him in 50 moves. Just because someone is a girl doesn’t mean they can’t play a game that is normally dominated by men.
One of the nuns at my boarding school,told,me that water doesn't cast a shadow as water is see-through
In school last year some girl in my class who I barely talk to asked me if Mexico was pronounced M-E-X-I-C-O or M-E-C-K-S-I-C-O. I sighed and said those sound exactly the same and then she told the teacher that I said something along the lines of ARE YOU STUPID OR SOMETHING. IDIOT THOSE ARE THE SAME. Then I got detention. :')
I'm teaching High School Anatomy. A female student raises her hand to tell me that pregnant woman have to be careful pooping so the baby doesn't fall out. I should have won an academy award for not showing a shocked reaction.
My brother asked how he was being a jerk. I CAN"T BELIEVE HE DOESN"T KNOW. He literally just made fun of the book I was making. he said it was trashy and that's not good for whatever confidence I made..
Shopping for stocking stuffers at the local thrift store in the 70s. Huge bins of belt buckles with guys names for 99 cents. Dug through and found DAN, kept digging and digging. Guy came over to help. Told him I was looking for TODD. He dug for a minute and said " We have TOM",. Me " nope, has to be TODD"
A blonde couple I know were having a conversation about the 2 letter state abbreviations on a road trip. "Nebraska is NE...Colorado is CO...Denver is DE..." and never skipped a beat.
I absolutely! LOVE my mother. She is the kindest most loving generous beautiful person in the world. But she does come out with some of the daftest things sometimes. We were watching on old movie and she said of the main actress "Oh, this must one of the films she was in before she died". You know as opposed to the ones she was in after she died?! Or the time she got a good on a kettle but still paid €40.00 for it said "well it was cheaper than the more expensive ones."
Someone asked me why mormons sacrifice kids and I seriously died, it was so hard not exploding into laughter.
They told me Deviled eggs are supposed to be made one way and one way only, and if they aren't made that way they aren't deviled eggs.
When I was in 7th grade math (around winter so we had a lot of snow days). Our teacher would have videos on the school's website for us to watch. The teacher had asked us to watch the surface area video and to not click on the scientific notation one because it was for 8th grades. The Karen of the class Danica ASKED the teacher in her classic white girl voice, "I thought you were the math teacher not the science teacher??" I looked at her and thought to myself, "Our generation is doomed."
I work in a Government building, one day one of my college educated coworkers asked why there are doctors in the building moving furniture. Having no clue what she was talking about I asked and she said you know all the guys in scrubs with DOC on the back. We had hired prisoners to help clear the offices for renovation. DOC was for Department of Correction.
I was staying at a homestay/language center in South Korea last summer (2019). I was hanging around with some people and were chatting in English. One lovely lady, with all seriousness, said straight to my face that I don't look like I'd speak English. I mean...I'm ethnic Chinese and hold an ASEAN passport but English is a lingua franca like WE LEARN ENGLISH OVER HERE OKAY? Anyway, sorry for surprising/shocking/amazing/disappointing you? lolz
This might not count because the person who said this was 4 at the time but here it is anyways: My brother walked up to me and said, in a very serious tone: "I think Ant-Man is in my tummy." He then went on to explain why he came to this conclusion. It was a while ago so I can't remember the details.
I'm Jewish and while talking to someone about Hannukah, they said "Oh, that's the Jewish Christmas." Um, no.
I once got on a bus and asked the bus driver if this bus went to tower bridge? His answer was "What do you think?" So i said to " I don't know that's why im asking you" I also asked him if he knew if it did or didnt?
A student of mine wrote in the class evaluation: "One teacher doesn't accept wrong answers."
Still haunts me to this day....
Guy online insisted the millions dead during WWII died only of Typhus. I pointed out that guards would have died too, plus we had eyewitness accounts and testimony under oath from those who had "gassed" prisoners. He refused to believe it.
I didn’t hear it, but apparently a kid in my social studies test said that Africans came here from Africa because it was better for people and they needed help. My teacher literally called him an idiot. I’m talking about the slave trade, guys.
My boss is the victim here. All he had to do was slide a conducting piece of plastic onto both pins on a circuit board. He kept insisting, "It's already on there!" He couldn't figure out that he needed to move the plastic. He's an electrician.
"You're face makes me think you're a liar. You just look like one." What the heck is that supposed to mean? (she was a b*tch anyways)
Someone in my 8th grade honors science asked the teacher “If we had 86 chromosomes, would we be a duck?” The teacher and the rest of the class had a good laugh on that one.
A Puerto Rican girl friend of mine (living in the Bronx at the time) once said, in a group discussion about the different states we had visited, that she had only been to 3 states: New York, New Jersey, and upstate New York. (wait, what???)
Back around the mid 90’s, when the internet was becoming common in homes, I used to chat in chat rooms. I chatted to a girl who was about 20 at the time, from the US (me being in Australia.). She was talking about the heat, and I said it was winter here. I said our seasons were the opposite of the US. So she says “So it’s summer in December there?”, I say yes, then she asks, in all seriousness, “Well when do you have Christmas, then?”. Definitely the dumbest thing I’ve been asked, and still remember it 20 odd years later.
I was in 5th grade and this 1 kid sad that Jesus and Santa Claus are actually brothers but Santa left His family and did drugs all i could was (=-=)*he is so lucky i didn't strangle him then*
Don’t wear a mask.
My daughter's father (we are no longer together thank goodness!) asking me where girls peed from..I could not believe that a grown man did not know something so simple >_
Telling me that being the only male in choir is "gay"
Gay is not a bad thing but using it in that sense is. They act like being gay is a bad thing even though I'm not.
"are you sleeping"
like brooooo "no im just practicing for my death"
We went to Colorado and my brother back in Maryland, where it was fall, asked if it was summer in Colorado.
That apes evolved into humans when they learned to cook.
So I was at a homestay in South Korea in summer 2019 and was chilling with people. Since they were learning English, we started chatting and one lovely lady, with all seriousness, said straight to my face that I don't look like I'd speak English. I mean....I'm ethnic Chinese with an ASEAN passport so maybe I don't fit into the English-speaking aka white stereotype? Sorry to surprise/shock/amaze you???
I just finished reading a book and told everybody and the first question about it was “ sooooo did ya read it. Or when somebody asked if I was a girl, :(
"You're face makes me think you're a liar. You just look like one." What the heck is that supposed to mean? (she was a b*tch anyways)
I have a friend who pretends to be rich, and once I told her about how I sometimes get bored of watching t.v and she said, "well go outside and play on your go-carts, DUH. Oh yeah, you don't have go-carts."
Another time another friend (who was not very nice) told me I shouldn't have given her a gift because I used it before. I said I was sorry to avoid an argument because she was always fighting with me, but I still want that thing back!
It isn't fair, she/he gets to work more days than I do. My answer, yes but you have declined to work on the weekend when we are busy. You have also declined to work on the days I have called you and offered you work.
I was driving a neighbors daughter up to Colorado and we passed a long dead volcano, when I said “oh hey, there’s something of interest, it’s T-Rex poop” and she said to me “seriously?” (Two points here, 1. There was a sign describing what it was and 2. She was an AP student)
someone once said to me that all blonds are dumb...
I looked at him then said sarcastically "oh ya I'm TOTALLY not in 10th-grade math" ( i was in 8th-grade at the time and I'm 100% blond and they are the same grade as me and still do 6th-grade math)
Girls aren't good at soccer im in 6th grade have been playing for 6 years 4 of which in select you have to try out and scored a total of 5 goals last season also the person cant even dribble!
A few months ago i cut my hair and someone who was my friend said "your haircut is a(n) insult because I'm poor and my mom is to poor to get me a haircut so she uses my dad so when I go over there I get a haircut" his parents aren't together and his mom's a nurse.My haircut only cost $15. nurse make a lot of money.
In the military, I had over a year of training in my highly technical field. At my first duty station, I was sent to the Top Sergeants' office and told since I was female, I would be working there, typing up documents. I replied that I couldn't type, but I could repair the typewriter since I was trained in electronics repair. They sent me back to the shop and got a trained office clerk. Who was make.
I hate it when people ask me "do you know what this word means". IT DRIVES ME INSANE....
interesting. some funny, some dumb.
Last night my sister had to wash your face off because he has spaghetti over his hip and she put hand sanitizer on toilet paper and said that if you rub it on your chin then it'll heal your chin and then she said that if you put hand sanitizer on your tongue it'll heal the bumps on your tongue and I said the bumps on your tongue are your taste buds and she was like oh...
I knew someone in 6th grade who couldn't wrap her mind around celsius vs fahrenheit, no matter how hard i tried to explain it.
She was actually a very nice person, unlike a lot of the people in that class. I changes schools that summer and I was pretty glad to leave.
Girls aren't good at soccer im in 6th grade and have been playing for 6 years 4 of which are select, which you have to try out for and scored a total of 5 goals last season.
Me: Is Santa real mommy?
Me: *looks up Santa* Mommy i don't think Santa's real
Mom: No your wrong
Me: Shows her video of how Santa is not real
Mom: If you think he is real he is and if you don't believe in him he disappears
When I first started watching a tv show called glitter force, my sister yelled at me and called me a freak I said it is just an opinion then she started acting all stupid “GLITTER FORCED IS ILLEGAL”