Even though holding grudges is not healthy, but admitting that you have them, is one step further to forgiveness. So tell us, what is the biggest grudge you still hold?
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The grudge for being deprived of a normal childhood.
Both my parents... they did the best they could with how their upbringing had shaped them as individuals. However coming together in marriage & to have 5 daughters... yeah they should have stopped at the third. I have always had this dark cloud hanging over me, never bonded with my mother because she didnt want me but being Christian & my father being a minister.. the only option was to carry on as before. I'm so angry & saddened with the non verbal message I received loud and clear was " unfortunately we can't deal with or give you what you need to be the person you were born to be. So its up to you to find it on your own. Good luck".
I so appreciate my partner after roughly 4 yrs+ who has shown me what my parents could or would not.
My brother..... I despise him utterly, I've had nothing to do with him for 40 years..... I generally don't even admit he exists,the uppity prick can go to hell!!!!
There's this one girl from middle school. We went on a field trip/ several day class trip to the mountains staying in a youth hostel. We weren't friends, didn't talk often because we were in different friend groups. I wasn't bullied but there were two guys in my class that liked to make fun of me because I used to be chubby and had big teeth. We didn't share a room but somehow ended up in the same bunkbed one afternoon. She had period pain so I gave her my pain killers and was crying because she was fighting with her boyfriend (one of the guys who made fun of me) so I listened to her, gave her some advice and was overall supportive. LITERALLY A DAY LATER after I gave her a shoulder to cry on we all went on a hike and she threw a pine cone at my head and laughed just to impress her boyfriend who found this hilarious. I didn't say anything and just let it slip but I am still f*****g pissed at this b***h. I avoided talking until we gratuated.
In elementary school, this one girl pretended to be my friend for years. Behind my back, she told the whole class my secrets, she stole or destroyed my stuff, she broke into my kids social media account and wrote heinous stuff there. She also spread rumors about me, so nobody would talk to me. For a long time I didn't know about it and then, for even longer time, I pretended to not notice. She went so far as to encourage my classmates to bully me and made a bet with them that she will slap me. When I gathered enough courage to stop talking to her, and made new friends, I cut all contact immediately. I had my share of failed friendships or relatinships since then in my life, but she's still the only person I haven't forgiven. And I never will.
I sometimes wonder about people like this. What could possibly have given her the idea that this sort of behaviour was acceptable? And did she ever realise what a little shithead she was being and try to change it? I'm very glad I don't have to interact with the worst bullies I knew as a kid, but I sometimes wish I could ask them these questions and get a genuine answer.
I was bullied horribly as a child (for wearing glasses, for being smart, shy, chubby, take your pick) and my cousin went ahead and married one of those kids. I still think of the guy as a horrible a*****e and I don't think he deserves the life he has.
I have a grudge against my Mom's ex-boyfriend. He was very abusive towards my whole family, but mostly me.
He was Physicaly, Mentaly, and Emotionaly Abusive.
I still hold a grudge against the ex that set out to ruin my life. While I am mostly happy now... I still blame him for many of the things I cared about not coming through. Alot of people hear that and go "Take responsibility"... but this is one of those instances where, honestly, it was too much for anyone to have expected an 18yr old to handle.
I became anxious, my PTSD worsened, I was literally afraid of being on campus and the police didn't really help. My GPA plummeted, I got kicked out of my programme and almost out of my uni completely despite having been a straight A student before him. Now I can't get into a masters programme, I'm in a field I'm not really into but had lower GPA requirements. All of my friends have gone on to start careers while I'm still trying to finish up an undergrad degree piecemeal style almost 8 yrs later (GPAs are like quicksand, the more you take the less impact courses have).
I knew what I wanted to be from a very young age, I did everything I needed to do to achieve that. I worked really hard, I studied so hard, I overcame alot... and was doing so well only for a dickwad to decide 3months of dating should be rewarded by 4yrs of stalking, shaming, humiliating, getting revenge on, harassing, blackmailing, threatening and physical violence.
Even though I'm married, and happy now. I just know I could have done so much more. I am incredibly smart and eloquent and care so deeply-- I just wish people took the time to see what I can be and don't just stop upon seeing a low GPA because I know it isn't at all a reflection of how much I understand and am capable of.
On paper I look like a fuckup. High A's to literally failing every course for a full 2yrs. I feel like a fuckup every time my friends discuss their master's theses-- knowing that I worked harder, studied more and got better grades than they did for years... but it doesn't matter because I made a mistake-- one itty bitty mistake of giving a guy a chance and then breaking it off because he lied about drug use and didn't want to get help.
Your story makes me angry on so many levels. Lack of mental health support, police and school administrations not treating stalking and abusive behaviour seriously, the outsize importance people place on academic importance... there are a lot of problems, and it's awful that you're the one paying the price. I'm glad you're in a happier situation now, and I hope things continue to improve for you.
Someone spoiled Endgame for me it’s been nearly 4 years I haven’t forgiven him.
When I was younger (10-11 maybe) I got candy (peach rings) for my birthday. Me and my older sister (2 years older) loved them. Everytime I went to shower or leave the house she would ask for 1. I would be nice and say sure, can you get one for me? She came back down and gives me one.
After a while I realized that I was running out really quick. And I haven't been eating a lot. I eat candy super slowly. A bag the size of 2 napkin boxes (started 80% full) was almost out in 2 weeks. I counted the four rings left and then waited for my sister to ask. Same thing happened, I asked her to get me one. When I went upstairs there was one left! She had been taking 2+ everytime she requested for one and I usually only had it when she reminded me I had it and she also wanted one. So she ate more than 2/3 of the bag! And when I confronted her she DIDN'T EVEN CARE! I never wanted to trust her again and when I told my parents they didn't do anything.
I felt betrayed.
Luckily, I only had 1 sibling not 2-3 backstabbing, candy stealing siblings.
I know it is a disappointing and a bit unimportant compared to some but I want my food back!
My teacher who used to humiliate me in the corridor. She would pull my hair really hard. This might sound petty but I still absolutely hate her.
That's not petty, couldn't that be considered assault or am I just dramatic?
My grudge on my dad for blaming me for breaking a plate, I got in trouble, it was my brother, but my dad wouldn't believe me. Turns out the security camera caught my brother breaking it. When my dad found out I never got an apology nor did my brother get into trouble.
I used to be super shy about singing, and my family knew this and was always trying to get me to sing for some reason. Well one day my Grandma made homemade caramel and everyone, Mom, sibling, Grandma, Grandpa, Aunt, etc, got caramel but they wouldn't let me have any unless I sang. And they even chose a song, maybe cause they thought I didn't know what to sing. But anyway, I wouldn't sing, and so guess what? NO CARAMEL!!! I was a child and they denied me my right (LOL) to caramel! BTW, it wasn't as big a deal as I make it sound. Although it has been 5 or so years, (give or take) and I haven't ever sung the song that they asked me to sing, and I can't remember my Grandma ever making carmel since.
TL;DR I didn't get homemade caramel because I didn't sing, and I haven't sang the song suggested since.
BTW, this is meant to be a story good for a little bit of a laugh
My grudge is against my ex-step mother, who asked my best friend's parents if I could spend the weekend with them because my ex-step-dad, was having some kind of crisis & was going to take me & him out of town or something, then she told him (while I was at my friend's house), that I was sick of him & his drinking & didn't want to live with them anymore. So I got a call from my ex-step-dad that my $h*t was out in the front yard & to come & get it. So my friend's parents took me over there & got my stuff, & a year later they adopted me. I was 14 when this happened, I'm 64 now & still get salty when I think about it. I blame her cuz she orchestrated it & him because he just took her word for it & didn't even check if it was true. But in the end it worked out, but I still think of them as really crappy people. ( I had a step mom & step dad ( who was my legal guardian) because my birth-mom died 2 years before that & my birth-daf died when I was 5).
Well, I didn't get the part in a school play. Not so bad, you say? Well, I practiced so hard I thought I was sure to get it. Even other people said so! And I got a tiny part. Other people with tiny parts got two roles - not me! I had five lines in the entire thing.
Sorry for the rant; still bitter about it
I had similar situation. I always loved acting and I got a medium role in a schools play. I was super excited and knew every word. I can still recall my lines to this day. I had one specific and rather important dialog with one other actor and he messed up his lines so bad and started to improvise! Mind you this was the actual play. We had an audience. So I had to improvise as well and couldn't say my lines that I worked so hard for. I was soo mad!
That my ex-gf is a cold-hearted insult to female dogs.
We're grown ups here. We can say our ex partners are bitches out loud
I hold a grudge against a kid from 8th grade because they are manipulative plus broke up with me in my birthday. Also it's not like 20 year grudge. It's like 3 years
This is going to sound a little ridiculous but I hold a grudge against a tennis ball. In third grade, our P.E. teacher told us try stop practicing hitting the ball and then someone hit the ball and it hit me in the eye. I have no idea who the person was and I assume it was an accident but I hated tennis and that ball after that.
Was bullied for liking the same thing as this one girl. The thing I liked was frozen. A lot of people liked frozen, and yet I was bullied for it. Evrytime I wore my shoes with Elsa and Anna I was hard core bullied. But my mom made me wear the shoes. It happened for the first half of kinder through halfway through first grade. (We moved a lot) If I ever see you again Carly.. I hope you changed. If not we are gonna have issues. I loved those shoes, and just cause I wore them did not mean you have to shove me off playground sets, make fun of me, and turn friends against me.
