What is something that feels embarrassing to do, but shouldn't feel that way because there's nothing wrong with it?
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Being overweight and going to the gym. I've actually stopped completely...I just work out at home. The stares and snickering was too much to deal with when I'm just trying to work out.
Mispronouncing words, grammar mistakes, and word choice while learning a new language. It's way less tragic than it feels, and most native speakers butcher their own routinely.
Admitting you have a severe depression and need to take medsand have therapy to not harm yourself.
(Was told I was "damaged goods" because of my illness)
'damaged goods'?! i'll show them actual damage! that's awful and i hope you're ok!
Thank you. It really hurt because I felt like such a failure...I am slowly learning I don't have to "function" perfect to deserve to be alive.
Load More Replies...I take both anti-depressants and anti-anxiety meds; I see a psychiatrist. That's why I'm alive. Anyone who thinks you're "damaged goods" is just projecting. You're the healthy one!
Damaged goods my ass...mental health is like any other health issues. So if your a diabetic your" damaged goods?" Let that sink in all you nabobs of negativity
OMG WHO SAID THAT AND WHERE DO THEY LIVE I NEED TO MAKE THEM UNDERSTAND HOW YOU FELT
And just generally talking about your depression is embarrassing too. When someone wants to talk about it I get awkward and my stutter comes out and i get all red and weird. Like, i understand they're trying to make sure im okay but i dont like talking about it
"Damaged goods" implies the existence of "undamaged goods." With respect to people, there is no such thing! We all have issues, imperfections, and things we struggle with. Some people, like you, are lucky because there other medications and other things that can help. Some people, like the jerk you spoke to, are unlucky because stupid is damn near impossible to fix. No one is perfect. Please do not let other imperfect people make you feel like less of a person. Also, kudos for getting the help you need and being brave enough to admit you needed help.
Would anyone say such a thing to someone undergoing cancer treatment or recovering from a stroke? No. Those people are asshole and don't deserve your time. Mental illness is just like any other and you should be treated with kindness and respect.
I have a mental illness and live in a group home and it's embarrassing when people ask where I live even though I work and do everything everyone else does.
Damaged Goods?! They are lying because they know you aren't the same person you were and are trying to take advantage of you.
You are not damaged goods. The only damaged one is the person telling other they are damaged goods. I have major anxiety and sometimes I'm depressed, but it isalways to embarrassing to tell anyone.
Correct. Still sucks when you hear from a therapist, quite right after a suicide attempt, that you should be locked up for the rest of your life. And if you finally manage to kill yourself, all the better
Load More Replies...It's funny (not funny at all) that I have to explain to people that I suffer with an anxiety disorder... I always feel like I have to preface a relationship (friendship or romantic) because I never know when something will trigger me. This is never something we, as people who suffer from a mental illness, should EVER be embarrassed about, and we ARE NOT damaged goods. THAT PERSON IS DAMAGED.
I am a depressive too. I hate that well-meaning hand on my shoulder accompanied with the immortal words "everything will be ok". Last time that happened I just wanted to deck the guy. I know he meant well, but a lot of people have no idea what to do with a depressive, like it's contagious or something? I am my worst critic. Most people will never be as harsh as we are to ourselves.
I have just upvoted each and every-one of you....NO-ONE is «damaged goods» Quite the opposite...You each do what you can to feel better..bring it out into the open,having therapy,doing your own thing.....that is admirable!
Thank you for sharing this. You are courageous and brave for seeking help for your very real illness! We need more people like you spreading awareness about mental illness. I'm sorry you've encountered haters, and please know that I (and just about everyone in these comments, looks like) support you 100% and am cheering you on. One more thing, as someone who is just now coming out of a 2 year depressive mental health crisis, I promise it will get better. Might take longer than we wish, but everything is always in the process of changing. Much love to you.
I don't say "it will get better" lightly. It's not meant to be a platitude and I know how deeply horrifying mental illness is, and how impossible it is to find motivation or hope. Just want you to know that as someone who was miserable and experienced suicidal ideation for years, I was able to find the right med with my psych and get some serenity and joy, finally. Depression when you're in it absolutely sucks, and I honor that pain. I also hold hope for you just in case you're not able to hold any for yourself. <3
Load More Replies...swore awhile back that if anyone writes me off for my mental health struggles, then i can write them off as well. lost a few "friends" that way but oh well
Literally every human on the face of planet is “damaged good”. Mental and physical traumas are facts of life. They will affect how you live and what you do for the rest of your life. This has been proven scientifically. This person is totally out of touch with the world. This year I found 2 people who fully support me through serious medical problems as well as the mental ones. My bf has seen my trauma loop and physical health at their worst. He’s listened to the pains of my past and present. He knows how they affect my behavior and helps me to realize when I’m in a loop. I can call my friend at any time too. I’ve been scared to face my mental health bc I’ve lived like this since I was 11. Scared that I won’t be able to change. But having the unconditional support of just 2 people has helped me to have the motivation and courage to train and do. OP, you deserve to live a life free from negative and harmful thoughts. You deserve people who will help you do that.
I was born with Spina Bifida, later in life my Mom told me it was natures way of rejecting me. My advice believe in yourself and not in the comments of fools you can do this
Wow that is sad no one should feel embarrassed about this. If you need help get help. I have a hard time. I have a dog that really helps me. But this should be very normal life is a struggle.
I had someone who should've been part of my support system tell me that if you need medication just to function, you're not even a whole person. I pointed out that one of their best friends is a diabetic.
We are not damaged, we are not broken, and our brains still work; they are simply wired differently than other people's. We do not have a disability, we have a different ability.
Whoever told you that needs open-handed slapped until their teeth fall out.
I generally just have to deal with "lazy" and "you need to go out more". But then again I generally don't dare to tell people how bad it sometimes is.
Admitting you have problem and need help takes strength, putting someone down for something you don't understand seems like the sign of a "damaged" person.
It can be very difficult to talk about this because of people’s reactions. After a long time seriously struggling with severe depression and getting help, I eventually confided in one long term friend - just that I had been diagnosed and was on anti depressants. Her response was just “That will be so damaging if your work ever find out, make sure they don’t”. Our friendship hasn’t been the same since. And ironically now she has depression.
There is no shame in needing medication and therapy; we don't shame people with open wounds for needing stitches, or diabetics for using insulin, and we shouldn't shame mentally ill patients for needing medication. I'm in the same boat as you, and I'm glad that you're still here <3
try not to escalate the opinions of one or two people. Assholes are real and live amongst us.
Being in a deadly silent bathroom where you know some of the other stalls are occupied and trying to quietly change pads without everyone knowing what your doing.
Stretch marks. Body hair, or lack of it. Breast size. Penis size. Mental illness. Starting your life at 40 instead of 16. Niche interests. So many things....
If I was doing now what I was doing as 16, I'd be monumentally depressed. Nothing you've said here is something to be embarrassed about. I hope you find peace! You deserve it.
Buying contraceptives and basically any other sexual wellness products in a physical store.
Leaking on a period. Sure, it's annoying and uncomfortable, but it's not like it was a choice.
Doing number two in a public washroom. The sounds are one reason why I choose home.
Talking about money. I was invited on a girl's trip and had to say no because I couldn't come up with cash in the short amount of time needed to book the trip. My friend said that I embarrassed her by telling the other girls that I couldn't afford it.
NO ONE should make fun, judge, or criticize someone else for not having enough money.
asking for help more than once in class
Why is this embarrassing? You are just wanting to understand the material, don't be ashamed to ask questions a lot.
Being hungry at a friends house, or having your host offer you something and saying yes, WHY DOES IT SEEM SO SO RUDE AND EMBARASSING!? Haha
Talking about feminine things in front of my dad. Example: periods , bras, pads ect
I talk about stuff like that with my dad all the time. He already knows about it, so its not that awkward, he did marry a woman lol
enjoying ""childish"" things as an adult
people can give others a hard time abt this too, i still feel embarrassed for enjoying animated things and i got a lot of grief abt it over the years but like its so dumb bc? its usually made by adults too lmao??? regardless tho it shouldnt be embarrassing idc
Singing in front of other people. I know lots of other people do it, but it just makes me feel really exposed and awkward.
Practicing any instrument you are learning at home around family. You don't know how to play very well which is why you need to learn and practice but you feel dumb struggling through easy songs with people that can hear you.
Getting out of the pool Its just so awkward. and also when your crouching in the shallow end and someone goes "you could just stand ya know" LIKE YEA I KNOW IM JUST INSECURE.
Omg the last part is the most relatable thing ive ever seen. and when you swim in the shallow part and someone tells you you could walk but you just dont want people to see you lol
Wanting to go home because you are done socializing. But if you say so, everyone is offended and it’s embarrassing, even though it barely has anything to do with them.
Going to a sex shop. And generally everything with sex as a topic is seen as vulgar and a complete Taboo.
I (F) had the same problem - until a friend (F, too) really dragged me me into a sex shop. Simply to make me have a new experience. Found out I felt totally normal...
When you have to run to catch the bus, you're out of breath, and you start breathing heavily on the bus. Idk why but this just seems to embarrassing to me.
Sometimes it happens to me at work. My boss is at the second level of our building and my office is on the ground floor. If I have to go to his office I run on the stairs (no elevator) and when I get there I am breathing very heavily and I feel like it's the only thing you can hear.
Coming out.
I know it is a little embarassing but I swear I almost died of embarassment.
Farting and burping.
when a car is stopped to let you cross the street 🙈
Try a smile and a small wave,will show your appreciation of drivers conduct..
Having your period
Luckily I don't get awkward talking about my period. I used to talk about it with this guy at my school and complain about how annoying it was and how I was running out of feminine products that I liked and he was so weirded out and confused, it was great
My false teeth. Since high school. I know there's nothing wrong but i still didn't tell to anybody
Well, don't worry. Nobody will think it's weird, and if they do, then they are jerks.
A giant zit on your cheek that make up won't even begin to cover.
Haha I hate makeup so I've learned to embrace my zits and if someone comments on them i smile and comment on theirs.
When your talking to someone and they correct you because you got something wrong. Even if its just the pronounciation of a random word. I always feel so amshamed and I don't know why
I know that, too. For me, it's helpful to confess about my feelings in these moments - people instantly try to comfort me.
puberty
Hey,It's natural to go through puberty.It is kinda strange though.
Asking for the bathroom key at those gas stations that require one, especially when they take a really long time to get it.
Also, mentioning that I'm not ok. Whenever someone thinks im unhappy i get super embarrassed and it makes it all worse
Asking for anything especially at restaurants
Yesss, whenever I go to a restaurant I always try to bring someone more direct than me so i can ask them to tell the waiter because I dont want to seem rude (even though im not im just asking for what i came there for lol)
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It broke my heart how many people said "periods" in this article. We need to normalize people with vaginas getting periods. Talk about it. Share when you're on yours. It's normal.
I was thinking the same thing! But it's everything about the female body that isn't discussed from 1st period to last. Having a baby to raising kids. Like it's still 1950 and women are seen & not heard. Somehow every generation passes down the shame of what should be normal conversation
Load More Replies...I think something that doesn't get talked about more is your bodily smell and the way it can make you feel if you think you don't smell good. You watch movies that show someone working out, and of course she/he gets 1 little sweat mark going down the front of their shirt but their hair and makeup is sill perfect. Characters come home from working all day or being at the gym and just start having sex/oral sex and no one is ever like 'I need a shower first'. No one ever gets up from a chair and leaves a sweat mark. No one ever tells you your vagina will occasionally smell bad for whatever reason and it's usually perfectly normal. No one tells you if you have bigger boobs that you might get a gross, wet rash under them almost all the time. No one tells you that you might have stained underwear because your vagina excretes stuff regularly when it's healthy. And you never see stained undies on tv/movies. Our mothers never talked about this stuff so you think something is wrong with you.
I get super embarrassed at the beach walking around in between everyone's little set up and finding there's a group of young women I have walk around to get to the boardwalk. For some reason they sneer and laugh at me. I don't get why. Like, just continue basting in the sun and ignore my elephant stomps as I try to wade through the hot sand.
Simple bodily functions. Sweating, farting, having to use the bathroom. It's actually unhealthy not to, or trying to postpone
Having an invisible illness.. I have chronic pain disease which affects my muscles and joints mostly. I get to go out 1 every two weeks approximately. It takes a lot of resting before and after and a lottt of painkillers often. I went to see Gabriel Iglesias Saturday and had a comfy blanket with me to cover the plastic chair. The looks on people's faces.. like a was a little entitled princess making her throne 🙄 eyerolls all over. Those days I would like to have a sticker on my forehead that says disabled. Or wave around my papers that proof it. 🤦🏻♀️ I try not to care about it but sometimes it is a bit hard
So many of these seem like they were posted by young people under 25. If that's you, you should know that a lot of the embarrassment of many of these will go away as you get older. Others seem more like a social anxiety thing. If that's you, try exposing yourself to these triggers a little at a time. That's gone a LONG way for me!
Kind of like the restaurant one (and I don't know if this is UK specific) but going to the cinema alone. I've done it lots of times and personally couldn't care less but when I tell people most look aghast. I've never understood what the problem is with it, at the end of the day I'm just going to watch a movie I want to see. Everyone sits there in the dark in silence anyway (most of the time) so what's the issue?
Last time i went to the cinema the girl was on her facebook nearly all the movie (that she chose) so yeah, def gonnna start going alone. Btw, said 'no thanks' to popcorn. Guess who had to shate his pop corn?
Load More Replies...I het rly embarrassed walking around woth my family for some reason. I also hate it when ppl are onto a song then I learn the lyrics and its not a thing anymore. I don't have any form of social media so i am always behind on things and its REALLY embarrassing.
When people try to make you feel embarrassed cuz you don't have exes or you're not divorced by certain age. "Never married" they say like it's a bad thing.lol sorry I thought marriage was technically for life
This may be just me, but I hate when a colleague brings a baby or toddler to work. Everybody else goes ga-ga, but I just stand there. Bring in a dog or at cat on the other hand ...
So many saying period, but not one saying menopause. When you are dripping with sweat, all red-faced and your body feels like a 150 degrees, and everybody around you knows you have reached "that age".
I am a bit surprised that so many are about periods. I'm actually not embarrassed at all about periods. I never got why I should be. Not in public bathrooms and not if it happens during sex. To me it's just so obvious that since I can't control it or choose it it's nothing to be embarrassed about. I find it so sad that that's not the norm.
Talking to someone about losing my fur baby of 17 years, before I know how they're going to react. I don't know if they'll empathize, or be one of those "it's just a dog" people.
It broke my heart how many people said "periods" in this article. We need to normalize people with vaginas getting periods. Talk about it. Share when you're on yours. It's normal.
I was thinking the same thing! But it's everything about the female body that isn't discussed from 1st period to last. Having a baby to raising kids. Like it's still 1950 and women are seen & not heard. Somehow every generation passes down the shame of what should be normal conversation
Load More Replies...I think something that doesn't get talked about more is your bodily smell and the way it can make you feel if you think you don't smell good. You watch movies that show someone working out, and of course she/he gets 1 little sweat mark going down the front of their shirt but their hair and makeup is sill perfect. Characters come home from working all day or being at the gym and just start having sex/oral sex and no one is ever like 'I need a shower first'. No one ever gets up from a chair and leaves a sweat mark. No one ever tells you your vagina will occasionally smell bad for whatever reason and it's usually perfectly normal. No one tells you if you have bigger boobs that you might get a gross, wet rash under them almost all the time. No one tells you that you might have stained underwear because your vagina excretes stuff regularly when it's healthy. And you never see stained undies on tv/movies. Our mothers never talked about this stuff so you think something is wrong with you.
I get super embarrassed at the beach walking around in between everyone's little set up and finding there's a group of young women I have walk around to get to the boardwalk. For some reason they sneer and laugh at me. I don't get why. Like, just continue basting in the sun and ignore my elephant stomps as I try to wade through the hot sand.
Simple bodily functions. Sweating, farting, having to use the bathroom. It's actually unhealthy not to, or trying to postpone
Having an invisible illness.. I have chronic pain disease which affects my muscles and joints mostly. I get to go out 1 every two weeks approximately. It takes a lot of resting before and after and a lottt of painkillers often. I went to see Gabriel Iglesias Saturday and had a comfy blanket with me to cover the plastic chair. The looks on people's faces.. like a was a little entitled princess making her throne 🙄 eyerolls all over. Those days I would like to have a sticker on my forehead that says disabled. Or wave around my papers that proof it. 🤦🏻♀️ I try not to care about it but sometimes it is a bit hard
So many of these seem like they were posted by young people under 25. If that's you, you should know that a lot of the embarrassment of many of these will go away as you get older. Others seem more like a social anxiety thing. If that's you, try exposing yourself to these triggers a little at a time. That's gone a LONG way for me!
Kind of like the restaurant one (and I don't know if this is UK specific) but going to the cinema alone. I've done it lots of times and personally couldn't care less but when I tell people most look aghast. I've never understood what the problem is with it, at the end of the day I'm just going to watch a movie I want to see. Everyone sits there in the dark in silence anyway (most of the time) so what's the issue?
Last time i went to the cinema the girl was on her facebook nearly all the movie (that she chose) so yeah, def gonnna start going alone. Btw, said 'no thanks' to popcorn. Guess who had to shate his pop corn?
Load More Replies...I het rly embarrassed walking around woth my family for some reason. I also hate it when ppl are onto a song then I learn the lyrics and its not a thing anymore. I don't have any form of social media so i am always behind on things and its REALLY embarrassing.
When people try to make you feel embarrassed cuz you don't have exes or you're not divorced by certain age. "Never married" they say like it's a bad thing.lol sorry I thought marriage was technically for life
This may be just me, but I hate when a colleague brings a baby or toddler to work. Everybody else goes ga-ga, but I just stand there. Bring in a dog or at cat on the other hand ...
So many saying period, but not one saying menopause. When you are dripping with sweat, all red-faced and your body feels like a 150 degrees, and everybody around you knows you have reached "that age".
I am a bit surprised that so many are about periods. I'm actually not embarrassed at all about periods. I never got why I should be. Not in public bathrooms and not if it happens during sex. To me it's just so obvious that since I can't control it or choose it it's nothing to be embarrassed about. I find it so sad that that's not the norm.
Talking to someone about losing my fur baby of 17 years, before I know how they're going to react. I don't know if they'll empathize, or be one of those "it's just a dog" people.