What is something that feels embarrassing to do, but shouldn't feel that way because there's nothing wrong with it?

#1

"What Feels Embarrassing But Shouldn't": 35 People Delivered An Answer Being overweight and going to the gym. I've actually stopped completely...I just work out at home. The stares and snickering was too much to deal with when I'm just trying to work out.

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lunanik avatar
Nikki Sevven
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So, they pick on you for being overweight AND for trying to not be overweight. People can really be horrible. Don't let them get you down or discourage you from your journey.

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Ekate
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I admire people with weight so much for working out - I struggle to get the motivation and energy and I don't have any extra to have to lift - for every person who sniggers, there are at least two like me who are quietly admiring your determination and extra strength.

master_minds9 avatar
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It is really hard to get motivated. Some days I just don't want too but I still try to do even a small amount.

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koncsicskids avatar
Pepper DeVoe
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's what the gym is for!! Exercising!! Try to ignore them, i know its hard❤

lchaney36 avatar
Linda H
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Normal people admire you. Don't let the haters deter you. They will hate no matter what.

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LagoonaBlueColleen
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is a big reason I've never joined a gym. Just going to inquire about adult ballet lessons I got weird looks from the ballet dancers running the booth. Maybe my questions about the possibilities of dancing in The Nutcracker were a bit far-reaching, but I don't think being told I'd not fit into the child-sized mouse costumes was a bit much, too. (If anyone wonders why I say "a bit" or "kinda", it's a habit of my sarcastic humor. Not an attempt to downplay the situation, as it has been assumed a few times one here.)

rhemore1 avatar
Suzanne Haigh
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That is bad, what the heck are gym's for but people who wish to improve their bodies. Do they not have staff on who could have curbed this appalling behaviour?

gilesmcardell avatar
Giles McArdell
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is way out of order, I've not frequented many gyms in my life but when I young and weedy I used to work out at a local weights gym and what I got there was constant support and acceptance, which I paid forward later. Your gym seems toxic, I hope this is a rarity and you can maybe find a better gym, these a-holes don't deserve your custom.

sarahrose888 avatar
Sarah
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I understand your pain and anxiety over this. I used to be morbidly obese and avoided any gym that might have men in it--or too many skinny college girls. (In other words, I'd only go to Curves, lol.) It's unfair, it's cruel, and it's unacceptable behavior. But GOOD FOR YOU for working out at home if the gym feels undoable for you!

meinegebieter avatar
Tom Pepper
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You may have been unlucky with the audience or maybe because you expected a negative reaction, you thought everything happening was targeting you. In my experience the true fitness community is supporting each other and taking a person for who they fight for to become. Meaning respecting you if make a true effort to make a change. Maybe you give it another try. Keep in mind - a gym is rarher small and people just look around - even if it is in your direction it does not mean they are looking at you and if they do it is not necessesarily in a bad way. Good luck!

shivanisiyer avatar
Ik haat iedereen
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

do people not understand that to be fit you need to go to the gym?

mkultra0605 avatar
Mindy Keys
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That sucks. I am sorry. People suck. I am like that also - I barely even leave the house anymore for fear of people's judgement, having to talk to strangers, just dealing with people in general... It's so very, very unfair. I would be proud to go to the gym with you (at least you go!) Bless.

master_minds9 avatar
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Thanks! It does suck and it doesn't help with anxiety either but I've been doing it at home and so far so good!

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madeleinejones_textiles avatar
Munchkin
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What is wrong with people, seriously??? Sorry to read this OP

drew24859 avatar
Ogre Juan Canolli
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That Is So WRONG.. Isn't a Gym Supposed To Be For Getting Into Shape ? Mussel-Headed SOBs.---And Yes I Mean Mussel

rosebona avatar
athornedrose
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Especially when my breasts move too much or my breathing is hard. It's better to not hear them snicker "who is she kidding?" Gyms are not safe places

o0ocharmo0o avatar
Heather A
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Just existing in a fat body, period. I have a condition that makes my legs grow larger and larger without me having much control over it (lipedema) and the amount of comments I've gotten over the years is demoralizing to say the least. I wouldn't dare set foot in a gym looking like I do so I just workout at home. It's not the same though as I can't afford all the equipment I would like.

staphgirl79 avatar
Mistiekim
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah - stopped me from going to a gym too. First there was the snickering in the girl’s locker room, then there were guys hitting other guys on the shoulder gesturing at me and laughing. There was this one lady who would go, but did like 2 mins on the treadmill and one weight machine rep. The rest of time she was using the gym as a dating service. Which good for her, but as someone who was actually working out, it sucks that I have to feel shamed for it.

gregd942 avatar
Yourname942
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

F**k people like that, you're making a commitment to better yourself

jamestartaglione avatar
James Tartaglione
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

maybe it's just me but i tend to mind my own business when im at the gym. never saw the point in putting others down when they are trying to work on themselves

ahall828 avatar
AMH
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think the folks who are overweight and break a sweat at the gym have more self esteem than those who stare and snicker. Those who go to the gym to be seen are the probably the fakest people you'll ever meet.

suzydoorbell avatar
SuzyG
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not all gyms cultivate this kind of behavior. I go to Planet Fitness (of all places, the last I'd expect), and I've been to several of them. I never felt like anyone was looking at me unless I was stretching (25+ years of yoga causes staring).

c_r_ avatar
C. R.
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Too bad there's not a workout machine to build up human decency and reduce human garbage

jenjoyner avatar
Xenon
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Please continue, just ignore the A-holes. You are doing something great and worthwhile.

matildabunny2018 avatar
matilda
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Gym nowadays are just showrooms, not exactly what these are for. Sad. Go out and exercise in the open air!

ben_40 avatar
Ben Harbach
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Keep going and definitely speak to the staff. As others have said, the gym is about community and encouragement. If there are people who don't respect that then they need to be dealt with. Or be really brave and confront them yourself! Tell them that you have decided to make a positive change in your life and are going to commit to it. You may well find that they'll respect you for it and offer an apology. You can be the catalyst for a change in them!

deepond avatar
Dee on bikes
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes! You feel so self conscious and out of place, while the only people who truly get quiet shaming are the ones who don't re-rack weights or wipe down cardio equipment.

aaishasheikh21 avatar
iceyvibes
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Those people have no brain haven't they any idea what a gym is for or do they just think it's a place to go gossip and flirt with strong guys. I'm so sorry you had to deal with those idiots, just keep on going though and also I'd your looking for free YouTube workout recommendations you should do some of Chloe tings workouts they really helped me reach a weight I'm happy with

nanxwarren avatar
yellowphantom
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have a lot of joint issues and I am always embarrassed to do the weight machines. The person before me, and probably after me, will have it set at 200 pounds and I have to take all the weights off just to move it without dislocating something. A lot of us older people also feel embarrassed about our saggy baggy bodies.

mariamendez avatar
Maria Mendez
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Never insult people who are trying to improve themselves. That's f*cked up.

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Megzymonsta
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah been there. It's the same if I try to go jogging or cycling, or buy healthy/low calorie foods, or order a salad when eating out. I really can't understand how people are so keen to fat shame and then openly laugh at and mock someone who is trying their best to lose weight or improve their health.

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Trisha Howson
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That should never be a thing you are there to help yourself. I'm so sorry. It already hard going and working out people shouldn't have to worry about that kinda c**p they should have them kind of people kick out and not Abel to come back.

eaglegirl36 avatar
Eagle Girl
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The people at the gym are fools paying what youtube gives you for free. Been doin Billy Blanks again since lockdown. Love his vids from home. Great work out AND It's Free. You do You. That's all that matters!

aamatty avatar
AA Matty
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Isn't the whole point of the gym is to not be overweight?

sarahjones_4 avatar
LandAhoy (she/they)
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Maybe all of us who admire, should try to always give praise when we see an overweight person in the gym, to counteract the haters? Or would that appear patronising?

yaojielun avatar
Jay Son
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Exactly why I bought my own equipment. People can be horrible.

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Cathy Jo Baker
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm sorry this happened to you. Mean people suck. And I'm proud of you for taking care of your health! Go you!

megatonberry avatar
Megatonberry
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Anyone who laughs at an overweight person at a gym is a 100% pure douche nozzle from concentrate, you are trying to improve your health by being there. Most others at the gym will be admiring you for making the effort to improve yourself :).

rhodabike6 avatar
Seabeast
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Privately owned gym or franchise gym? Try a city leisure centre facility, if they have them where you live, or a YMCA/YWCA. Much more relaxed and people of all sizes and shapes work out there.

rhodabike6 avatar
Seabeast
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's terrible. I'm fat and have never experienced this at the gym, although I have on very rare occasions at the pool. (SOOO much fun when the snickerer tried to "race" me and lost, hee hee.) Go to something like a Y or a city-owned facility, where a wider range of bodies of all age work out.

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matthew owen
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What gym is that cos in all the years I've been at a gym I've never seen that. I'm in Northern England if that makes a difference

brindlenutter avatar
Camo Pena
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

that's Terrible. I'm suffering too much at the gym to notice anyone

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Mimi M
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've never been to a gym where this happened. Not that it might not happen somewhere, but at least in my experience it isn't common at all.

malifacent_4 avatar
Sarah
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

For the very first time, I (quite overweight) am going to a gym without feeling self-conscious. I think the difference is that it's a circuit, with very small time intervals so, no one has time to stop and look around at anyone else. I know that no one is looking/staring at me, because they have X amount of time on this, then 15 seconds to move to the next, then X amount of time, etc... There is never a chance for anyone to gawk at anyone else. It also helps that there are constantly trainers on the floor making the rounds and kind of shouting encouragement at everyone. I'm actually enjoying it and no one is more surprised than me!

mona_1 avatar
Mona
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's infuriating! Keep exercising and get stronger on your own! You ROCK for taking care of yourself!!

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Wilko Lunenburg
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hope you told the owner / manager of the gym why you stopped, they usually aren't happy to lose income because of obnoxious other guests.

kaiupshur avatar
DenjiSimp
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is the s**t I hate. People say s**t about people being overweight and then make fun of them at the gym for trying to lose weight? At least you're making an effort.

jenjoyner avatar
Xenon
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You should be getting applause and encouragement

jossmagical avatar
Joy
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I went to the gym with my hair piled on my head like Marge Simpson, an old t-shirt, leggings that had seen better days and a tendency where I sweated buckets. No-one laughed or snickered and if they did I didn't notice them. Only a backwards idiot would laugh at someone improving their health.

sistence avatar
Lenka Smetanová
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

yeah.... Two girls was so awfull when I went there that I never want to go there again, not feel cumfortable... they snickering, and was saying awfull things like I smell bad and other things...

jessereed avatar
Jrizzy Jay
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

probably your own insecurity, ive been a gym rat my entire adult life and have never witnessed this happen to an overweight person.

tomruns12 avatar
tomruns12
Community Member
2 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

You might be imagining it. People are there to work out they aren't paying attention to you.

master_minds9 avatar
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm not, I assure you. I've heard it clearly before (comments etc) and I've been told by some friends that they've heard and seen it too. I wouldn't have said this if I wasn't certain.

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#2

"What Feels Embarrassing But Shouldn't": 35 People Delivered An Answer Going to a shop and walking out without buying anything

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#3

"What Feels Embarrassing But Shouldn't": 35 People Delivered An Answer Mispronouncing words, grammar mistakes, and word choice while learning a new language. It's way less tragic than it feels, and most native speakers butcher their own routinely.

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#4

"What Feels Embarrassing But Shouldn't": 35 People Delivered An Answer Admitting you have a severe depression and need to take medsand have therapy to not harm yourself.

(Was told I was "damaged goods" because of my illness)

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Broken Angel
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

'damaged goods'?! i'll show them actual damage! that's awful and i hope you're ok!

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#5

"What Feels Embarrassing But Shouldn't": 35 People Delivered An Answer Being in a deadly silent bathroom where you know some of the other stalls are occupied and trying to quietly change pads without everyone knowing what your doing.

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#6

"What Feels Embarrassing But Shouldn't": 35 People Delivered An Answer Stretch marks. Body hair, or lack of it. Breast size. Penis size. Mental illness. Starting your life at 40 instead of 16. Niche interests. So many things....

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Easily Excitable Panda
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If I was doing now what I was doing as 16, I'd be monumentally depressed. Nothing you've said here is something to be embarrassed about. I hope you find peace! You deserve it.

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#7

"What Feels Embarrassing But Shouldn't": 35 People Delivered An Answer Buying contraceptives and basically any other sexual wellness products in a physical store.

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#8

"What Feels Embarrassing But Shouldn't": 35 People Delivered An Answer Compliments, at least for me they feel embarrassing.

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#9

"What Feels Embarrassing But Shouldn't": 35 People Delivered An Answer Leaking on a period. Sure, it's annoying and uncomfortable, but it's not like it was a choice.

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#10

"What Feels Embarrassing But Shouldn't": 35 People Delivered An Answer Doing number two in a public washroom. The sounds are one reason why I choose home.

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#11

"What Feels Embarrassing But Shouldn't": 35 People Delivered An Answer Talking about money. I was invited on a girl's trip and had to say no because I couldn't come up with cash in the short amount of time needed to book the trip. My friend said that I embarrassed her by telling the other girls that I couldn't afford it.

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Alyssa Sweat
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NO ONE should make fun, judge, or criticize someone else for not having enough money.

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#12

"What Feels Embarrassing But Shouldn't": 35 People Delivered An Answer asking for help more than once in class

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Alyssa Sweat
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why is this embarrassing? You are just wanting to understand the material, don't be ashamed to ask questions a lot.

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#13

"What Feels Embarrassing But Shouldn't": 35 People Delivered An Answer Being hungry at a friends house, or having your host offer you something and saying yes, WHY DOES IT SEEM SO SO RUDE AND EMBARASSING!? Haha

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#14

"What Feels Embarrassing But Shouldn't": 35 People Delivered An Answer Talking about feminine things in front of my dad. Example: periods , bras, pads ect

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HooowlAtTheMoon
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I talk about stuff like that with my dad all the time. He already knows about it, so its not that awkward, he did marry a woman lol

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#15

enjoying ""childish"" things as an adult

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lithyoface avatar
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

people can give others a hard time abt this too, i still feel embarrassed for enjoying animated things and i got a lot of grief abt it over the years but like its so dumb bc? its usually made by adults too lmao??? regardless tho it shouldnt be embarrassing idc

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#16

"What Feels Embarrassing But Shouldn't": 35 People Delivered An Answer Singing in front of other people. I know lots of other people do it, but it just makes me feel really exposed and awkward.

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Flopsy
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can't even sing in front of my husband. Only parents and daughter.

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#17

"What Feels Embarrassing But Shouldn't": 35 People Delivered An Answer Practicing any instrument you are learning at home around family. You don't know how to play very well which is why you need to learn and practice but you feel dumb struggling through easy songs with people that can hear you.

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Chillace
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

yeah i felt this. i used to play violin but stopped for this exact reason

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#18

"What Feels Embarrassing But Shouldn't": 35 People Delivered An Answer Getting out of the pool Its just so awkward. and also when your crouching in the shallow end and someone goes "you could just stand ya know" LIKE YEA I KNOW IM JUST INSECURE.

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HooowlAtTheMoon
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Omg the last part is the most relatable thing ive ever seen. and when you swim in the shallow part and someone tells you you could walk but you just dont want people to see you lol

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#19

Wanting to go home because you are done socializing. But if you say so, everyone is offended and it’s embarrassing, even though it barely has anything to do with them.

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Sonja
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It is said in our country that best time to leave is when the other people are gonna miss you.

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#20

"What Feels Embarrassing But Shouldn't": 35 People Delivered An Answer Going to a sex shop. And generally everything with sex as a topic is seen as vulgar and a complete Taboo.

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Maria Schneider
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I (F) had the same problem - until a friend (F, too) really dragged me me into a sex shop. Simply to make me have a new experience. Found out I felt totally normal...

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#21

When you have to run to catch the bus, you're out of breath, and you start breathing heavily on the bus. Idk why but this just seems to embarrassing to me.

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Laura
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sometimes it happens to me at work. My boss is at the second level of our building and my office is on the ground floor. If I have to go to his office I run on the stairs (no elevator) and when I get there I am breathing very heavily and I feel like it's the only thing you can hear.

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#22

Exercising in your room as a kid. I don't know why.

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#23

"What Feels Embarrassing But Shouldn't": 35 People Delivered An Answer Coming out.
I know it is a little embarassing but I swear I almost died of embarassment.

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#25

when a car is stopped to let you cross the street 🙈

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#26

Opening a gift- expectations of my reaction.

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Silre
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Omg I hate opening presents in front of people! Like, I love watching other people open presents but, please, just let me take my little dragon hoard and open them by myself, in my room, in the dark, where no one can see me.

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#27

Having your period

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HooowlAtTheMoon
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Luckily I don't get awkward talking about my period. I used to talk about it with this guy at my school and complain about how annoying it was and how I was running out of feminine products that I liked and he was so weirded out and confused, it was great

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#28

My false teeth. Since high school. I know there's nothing wrong but i still didn't tell to anybody

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Personindaworld
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well, don't worry. Nobody will think it's weird, and if they do, then they are jerks.

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#29

A giant zit on your cheek that make up won't even begin to cover.

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HooowlAtTheMoon
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Haha I hate makeup so I've learned to embrace my zits and if someone comments on them i smile and comment on theirs.

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#30

When your talking to someone and they correct you because you got something wrong. Even if its just the pronounciation of a random word. I always feel so amshamed and I don't know why

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zuppo avatar
Maria Schneider
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I know that, too. For me, it's helpful to confess about my feelings in these moments - people instantly try to comfort me.

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#31

Public speaking

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#32

puberty

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#33

Asking for the bathroom key at those gas stations that require one, especially when they take a really long time to get it.

Also, mentioning that I'm not ok. Whenever someone thinks im unhappy i get super embarrassed and it makes it all worse

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#34

Asking for anything especially at restaurants

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HooowlAtTheMoon
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yesss, whenever I go to a restaurant I always try to bring someone more direct than me so i can ask them to tell the waiter because I dont want to seem rude (even though im not im just asking for what i came there for lol)

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