Life is full of ups and downs—one day you might feel like you're on top of the world, and the next thing you know—a huge challenge is thrown at you. But you are not alone in these feelings. We all have difficult life situations to overcome in order to get back on track and even make the best out of them.
What's the hardest thing you have ever had to go through? How did you manage to do it? Share your experiences here and, hopefully, it will help someone who is living through similar struggles!
My parents hating me for being gay and not respecting my pronouns. I'm proud of who I am and don't care what they think but it still hurts.
Accepting that there's nothing wrong with me being gay. I've grown up in a very Christian setting, so I was told being gay was wrong my entire life.
My breakdown turned into alcoholism, domestic violence fights, getting fat and also finding out I have BPD with terrible anxiety, depression and complex PTSD. I even landed in jail and the hospital a few times. I hit rock bottom. All of it within 2 years including the death of my Dad. I couldn't get help with anything. I have zero insurance. Somehow I kept fighting and now 20 months sober, lost 60 lbs and I research mental health and learn, also I dive deep into self help books. I've came a long way alone. But that period was the worst time of my life. That break down from emotional build up that lead to mass anger and alcoholism. Both my parents are dead by my late 20's. I have really no other family or friends. My child hood was a horror show but that breakdown.. It was something. I'm stronger today for it. I literally had to climb out of that dark well I fell into by my finger nails. I had to use all my strength and will to do so.
My childhood. It was really bad, at one point I lived with two people who had Antisocial Personalty Disorder, which pop terms would be called a Psychopath and a Sociopath.
I've had years of therapy, which gave me the tools I needed to ground myself, however the one thing that gave me more peace than anything else was forgiveness.
I had so much hurt, rage, and sorrow that I was drowning in it. No matter what I did I couldn't keep my head above water. I used to sneer at the idea of forgiveness. I was the one who was hurt, used, degraded, and defiled in so many ways not just physically. Inside I was nothing but pulp of a person. I was also tired of being so angry all the time. Anger at that level exhausts you in ways you don't even know exist. I sat down with myself and had a very introspective look at where I was and if anything about this made me happy. It didn't.
Forgiveness is something that a lot of people spit on. They sneer if the word is even brought up without knowing what it truly means. Forgiving doesn't mean forgetting. You'll never forget. Forgiving doesn't me you're saying what happened to you was okay. It wasn't, nothing I went through was okay. Forgiving doesn't have a single thing to do with anyone but yourself. Forgiveness doesn't have anything to do with religion either. Yes religions push forgiveness but they don't own it and I dislike it when people think or push that there's conditions that have to be met with forgiveness. There's not.
When I forgave everyone who had anything to do with the hell I went through I did it for myself. I did it to get them out of my head. I did it because I was holding onto all of that pain in a white knuckled grip like I wouldn't exist if I didn't have that pain to define me. I define myself, I don't let anything or anyone define me but myself, and when I realized I was letting what happened to me define me because I was scared I wouldn't exist without that pain it pissed me off. I was still letting them hurt me even though they weren't in my life anymore.
I forgave. It's not a magic wand, you don't just say some words and it's done; it's a battle. It's not a one and done deal, though it gets easier as you get older. You have to remind yourself that this nightmare or that flashback doesn't have power over you, process it, and let it go. I still struggle some days no matter how long it's been. Forgiving doesn't make thing like severe PTSD, triggers, flashbacks, nightmares, or insomnia go away. It just lessens the power they have over you long term.
Everyone has the right to feel that rage over what they went through and the pains they suffered. I would never say that someone doesn't have that right and it's totally up to you if you want to do what I did. I would never force this on anyone. I've been there.
Just don't let what you went through control you, don't let it define you, and don't hold onto it like some demented teddy bear because you don't know what you'll be without it.
My parents' divorce
having an abusive dad..
Near fatal injuries after a motorcycle accident I suffered almost 10 tears ago. I was in a coma for 2 weeks with a Diffuse Axonal brain injury and a bleed on the brain that caused a stroke. I also suffered a shattered left hip and pelvis, smashed left wrist, arm and shoulder, three fractured vertebra and a fractured skull. For about a year after the accident I had memory, speech and coordination problems, I had to re-learn to do many of the things we do without thinking, like walking and feeding and dressing myself. I have had to undergo over 100 hours of surgery and months of Physiotherapy. I still haven't fully recovered from some of my injuries, and I will never be 100% pain free from them, but at least I can live a fairly normal life and even ride a motorcycle again. Which seems pretty amazing considering I was only given a 30% chance of surviving my injuries and a 10% chance of walking again.
Moving to the US, probably. I moved here from Brazil when I was about 7 because my mom got married to an American and we were going to live here. I would cry almost every night missing my friends and family, and would also cry at school because I could barely speak English. Today I'm 12 y.o, speak English fluently, and live with my mom, awesome stepdad, 2 little sisters, a cat and a dog in a great house near a good school. I still have plenty of problems but it helps to think of the ones I've already overcome. :)
My mom having multiple boyfriends. Her first one was my dad, he left when I was born. She tells me that he went to jail for beating her badly. The second one, she had for about 7 years, he cared about me, deeply, but, one night I overheard them arguing, and the next day I didn't see him. Now, currently, she has another boyfriend, and he's an awesome dad, he plays on his ps4, and he is an awesome person and human being. And to this day, he loves my mom and I, and we are a great family. :)
Death. Among many other things in my life, death was probably the hardest thing. My grandma died when I was 6 and that really hit me hard. I loved her so much and her death really hit me hard. She was a (kindergarten/ first grade) teacher for about 35 years. She was a 18 year breast cancer survivor and was 64 when she died from bile duct cancer. She was so nice and cared for everyone she met. Y'all should've seen her funeral. She touched the lives of so many people, and pretty much anyone who met her, loved her. She had two rescue dogs at the time that she loved and cared for. I also had two of my great grandparents that died as well three and two years ago. They were both very nice people with many friends. They all had quite the legacy.
Not really me but my brother was born with down syndrome and had ALL for 3 years, and he was only 5, then he had blood clots in his heart and lungs... now he is 11 and going strong!!
middle school + self-harm. I was super lonely because I had a hard time connecting with people. I started to hate myself more and more, but now with all this time to myself when no one can choose to ignore me I'm starting my comeback.
Arthritis, believe it or not. I was diagnosed with arthritis in my knees when I was 14. For 40 years I was in pain, couldn't do sports, couldn't even walk for much distance without pain. A couple of years ago my knees were finally degraded to the point where they were bone-on-bone and I was using trekking poles to walk, and I had a terrible limp and the pain regularly brought me to tears. I got both knees replaced, and although the healing period was also painful and seemed to go on forever (it was actually about 6 months for each knee), I'm finally rid of the pain. I wish I could have had it done sooner, but insurance wouldn't pay for the surgeries until my knees were fully degraded. Now I can't remember what that 40 years of pain felt like.
um...I would say the hardest thing to overcome was trust. I had a hard time asking for help because I was afraid and felt like I couldn't trust anyone. I kept my sexuality and my emotions from my family. my parents actually recently found out about how I felt because I left BP on and they saw my user name and my post( go see the post ¨hey, pandas! tell us your problems, please ¨) they are now working on helping me and I feel a bit better now that they are trying to understand how I feel. but I am still trying to work on it because I just started to feel better and if something bad happens I might go back again so let's hope for the best
Losing my best friend to suicide a little less than 2 weeks after my other friend died of leukemia.
I developed deppression, anxiety, intrusive thought, plus more that I don't want to share, after that. My parents didn't believe I needed meds or to g o to therapy because "I was to young to understand death", so for 4 years I had to sit back and watch myself become torn apart by my own mind, while being told over an dover and over again that I was "fine.
I was not fine.
What so ever.
I hurt myself, I tried to kill myself, because, at the time, I wanted to escape the pain of being alive.
I am now going to therapy and my life is finally turning around.
Anorexia Nervosa. It took a lot of time, effort and tears to recover physically and mentally from a state where I had a 25% chance surviving. It was hard for myself and everyone around me, especially my family.
The fact that I like this girl who’s my best friend but she is not looking for a parter and I think if I ask her out it’ll ruin our friendship.
Accepting that my parents will never recognise that my PTSD/Anxiety disorder is real and having to cut contact with them because it causes me far too much stress. Feeling disappointed that someone you expect to support you never will.
getting heartbroken and getting in a fist fight with my ex
abuse from my step dad, mom, and brother (who were homophobic and called me names because I am bi)
cutting, burning, and suicidal thoughts
3 mental hospital visits
moving in with my grandparents (who veritably abuse me)
doing online school
realizing that i'm not ok
dealing and figuring out that I have depression, anxiety, insomnia, and PTSD
my last name (my dad tried to kill my mom when I was 2 and I have my dad's last name)
my toxic ex
doing therapy fora total 10 hours each week
this all took time you won't get better in a second it will take time to heal but that is ok it is ok to take your time. :3
(if you need someone to talk to I'm here :3)
I've shared a lot on BP, but this is one thing I have not yet shared. My second marriage was difficult because my husband had anger management issues and many other problems, I would later found out about. He was arrested for a shocking crime, and ended up going to prison for life. It has been almost 15 years now, and it is still painful to think about. I still feel betrayed. He had been cheating and using drugs, and involved in other crimes. It devastated me emotionally, mentally and financially. I had to get a divorce and rebuild my life. At the time, it felt like the worst thing that could ever have happened to me, but today I realise that it was the best thing that could have happened. I can't even imagine what my life would be like today, if I were still living with this very disturbed man.
the loss of the first horse I ever rode. his name was snoopy and when I was 3 I could pronounce it so I called him snow pea. years later I worked at where he lived and one day I found that he had passed in the night. he was a special boy
2020 ... still haven't overcome
Having my closest friend lie to me and get my other friends to back them up on what they were saying. I felt so betrayed... :C
A heartbreak that happened a few days ago..It's his grandfather's fault though..
Mom leaving me when I was 5(I still kind of struggle with it)
Dad leaving me with grandparents
Grandfather constantly yelling at my grandmother and sister
Used to have good grades before 9th grade, now that it's 9th grade they're dropping.
Going between several eating disorders
Very happy and bubbly then almost suicidal and then numb-- happens almost every day..
Caffeine addiction(if I don't drink it I'd probably struggle so hard to stay awake..)
Suicidal thoughts every few days
Struggling with identity and sexuality (I see myself as genderfluid and bisexual but I haven't told anybody for fear of being judged...)
Some of these I still struggle with from time to time but I'm still fighting!!
This February 16th, Alejandro Ramos (yes I am using his name don't judge) one of my dad's friends, pulled me aside at CHURCH and gave me a late Valentine's day card and said he loved me. I was 12 at the time! This card was full of praises saying that I'm so beautiful, kind, good with kids etc. He said that he wanted to take me out to some fancy place but then remembered my age so he was fully aware that it wasn't okay. The whole time he's talking, all I can think about is how to get away from him without hurting his feelings. (I have a soft heart.) Finally my dad finds us and tells me to gather my siblings to go home. I was crying the whole way home and told my parents as soon as we got home. As it turned out, the entire security team, my dad, and the youth pastor's teenage sons all guessed that Alex had inappropriate interests and were trying to figure out how to confront him without getting me involved. My dad took me to the police station and we reported Alex and gave them the card as evidence. I was a wreck and literally anything made me cry those few weeks. To sum it up, Alex was kicked out of the church and I saw a therapist to help me. I know this probably won't sound that serious, but it was a HUGE deal for me and my parents. The worst part? I wasn't the first person Alex has done this to. We found out later that while he had lived in Washington, he expressed romantic interest in a woman who was married with kids. I pray that he won't do it again, but he most likely will since he's done it twice. Thank you for taking the time to read my story.
Two years ago I found out my Father has another daughter. He told me not to tell my mother. It was so hard. But I had to tell my mother slowly.
Not overcome yet - Five weeks ago, I woke up 95-98% deaf from Meniere's, which I've had for a long time. I’d already lost a lot of hearing one ear and I knew I had it in both ears which isn’t common. On a Friday, I started to have a Meniere’s flair in my “good” ear and got an appointment with my ENT for the following Monday. Standard treatment is steroids which had always worked at getting my hearing back to where it was. I woke up the next day deaf. I got to an emergency medical care place and got a prescription for steroids, which I started immediately. That Monday, I saw my ENT and he started me on a much stronger steroid which I took for over 2 weeks and during those the two weeks had 2 intratympanic steroid injections in my ear. There was no improvement. Tomorrow, I have an appointment at a Cochlear Implant Clinic.
That my dad is a liar. He keeps telling me he will comeback home and try better but when he does come back he just gets involved with drugs again and gets arrested again. He says he didn't do anything but i'm not stupid. He just doesn't want to hurt me but he's hurting me more by lying to me :(
My best friend leaving me. It was my first ever heartbreak, and a best friend breakup is the worst one to start with. I’m very drawn to depressed people, because I want to feel with them and help them. I guess I like to be empathetic in a way. I’m not depressed myself though, but I’ve had depressive episodes. This best friend though, (let’s call her blondie) was depressed. I stepped into her life when her parents where going through issues, and I felt as if I could be a light when she needed me. We were friends for 3 years. We would have awesome days, but when we fought, we FOUGHT. There was name calling, and we were really aggressive over the simple things. Blondie was also very boy crazy, and I knew why. I told her to step away from boys because they were bad for her, but she didn’t listen because she thought I was trying to keep her to myself. That was partly true. She was always seeking pity. She would also say that she was poor to get attention. I get it though, she needed it from someone. I would tell her that she wasn’t poor but she’d get really upset when I brought that up. Even longer story short, she texted me November 22, 2018 and said “I don’t want to be friends anymore” now usually, I can brush it off because usually best friends joke, but I knew she wasn’t joking. I would ask her what I did wrong and she said that I would never take accountability for anything and other crap. It was somewhat true. I faced her in school after thanksgiving weekend, and she was so giddy. I hated that. I still do. I had to run sobbing out of the classroom to the counselor, who brought her in for closure, and she was so stone cold. That was not my best friend. The old Blondie was. I cried every night and day for months, but then she moved schools. That was probably one of the best things that could’ve happened. Not because I hated her, but so that I didn’t have to avoid her. I don’t hate her. I hate the version of her who decided to leave me, but I am so thankful for her. Being friends with her taught me what to do in crappy situations with friendships. And I’ve kept my current best friend for almost a decade now, and I feel physically better ever since she left. Tough things happen for a reason. :))
Self hatred, the fear of failing.
My tourette's syndrome - I still have it but I've learned to live with it. :)
Overcoming multiple addictions before I'd even turned fourteen. But after lots of hard work on my part and lots of much appreciated support from my amazing friends, I've gotten my life back on track. I'll be eight months sober on the 23rd. There's always hope.
The hardest thing for me to overcome is being told almost 3 years ago that I had an unknown terminal cancer that is shutting down my lymphatic system. I've spent this time trying to get some kind of diagnosis, but every doctor gives up once they rule out something that is treatable. I even had one doctor tell me the only other suggestions he had was for me to get my will ready.
I have been developing new systems of my body falling apart every 3-6 weeks. Yet still have to work 40 hours a week because no official diagnosis means I get no help from anyone.
I have overcome this by putting one foot in front of the other every single day. I have to go on because I have no choice, but to go on. I also take more naps that I ever dreamed I would.
Every time one of my dogs died. Especially my last one. Six years later it still hurts like hell.
My parents’ divorce
Deaths in the family
Actually expecting who I am. I’ve always been told being gay was wrong by my dad, here I am. Telling him was the hardest thing I’ve ever done though
My depression, anxiety, PTSD, and suicidal thoughts
I had a full on psychotic break. I couldn't tell what was real and what wasn't. I honestly thought I was nothing but a corpse that moved for months. It's taken *ten years* for me to be able to more-or-less function in society, and I still have bad days where I disassociate and can't quite tell where reality is. When I'm taking a "Mental Health Day" from work it's because I'm hallucinating too hard to be a safe driver.
The fact that I will never find someone... ALSO two numbers... 2020... Anyone else?
Coming out as bisexual. In another ask pandas I said I was having a hard time. Two weeks ago I came out to my mother and it feels really good. :)
I don't know if this would count as overcome, but depression. And anxiety. And Eisoptrophobia (which is a rare phobia that causes one to be afraid of looking in the mirror). It's been really hard. There's been suicide attempts. Too many to count. And the worst part is: I'm still a kid. A 12-year-old girl. I want to enjoy my life without feeling upset most of the time. I don't want to feel panic every time I hear a noise. I would like to say that I want to live, but I don't. I don't want to live. I haven't overcome this, but I want to. I really do.
I had to go to a taekwondo place for like eight weeks in the morning on a saturday and just practice punching and kicking for like an hour.
It was worth it though because I got my black belt.
A lot of my childhood. I had an older sister who suffered severe, permanent brain damage when she wasn't even 2 years old (well before I was born), leaving her epileptic and with major behavioral problems. Most people have fuses for their tempers, a slow, steady buildup--hers was more akin to a switch, flipping her from calm to screaming and violent at the drop of a hat. Her mood swings were incredibly violent and unpredictable, placing terrible strain on my parents' loveless relationship. I spent many nights when I was little unable to sleep because my sister would scream and throw things at my mom well into the night when she tried to enforce bedtime.
My dad was pretty much emotionally absent and resentful of my mom for her financial irresponsibility and the way she treated him. My mom hated him for not appreciating everything she did to make our lives easier with my disabled sister's problems. They refused to divorce because it would be "bad for us"--I was frequently (unintentionally) neglected attention-wise between all of this, and often the target of nasty verbal abuse from my mother. This worsened after my sister's death.
I witnessed my sister try to murder my mother twice, and once found her hiding a knife under her pillow before we all went to bed, likely with intent to kill our mother in her sleep.
My sister attempted to murder me once, too; it was the single most terrifying experience of my life. She was profoundly sorry each time, sobbing and deeply upset because she didn't understand why she was like this. I was too young to really understand that it wasn't her fault, it was beyond her control because of the brain injury she'd had, and at the time treatments were limited to us.
She was raped at a mental health facility specializing in cases like hers, and she passed away suddenly when I was 13; I found her body, and I didn't forgive her and blamed her for my shitty life and thought she deserved to be raped because I was so angry. My family fell apart after her death, though my parents still didn't split. My dad became even more emotionally absent, and my mom's abuse ramped up to include physical abuse; my dad defended her actions and words sometimes, even.
I became severely depressed and attempted suicide for the first time at age 10. I never went to therapy for the trauma of being the victim of an attempted murder, nor for witnessing two other assaults. I almost successfully took my life at 16 by heavily overdosing on Wellbutrin and whatever anti-anxiety meds my mom was taking. The overdose caused me to severely hallucinate and the experience was absolutely terrifying for me. I was still never taken to therapy; I was just told to take my pills and they would fix me. Years later, I still have fleeting suicidal thoughts, but they're more like passing remnants of that time, like mental scars of how bad my depression was.
I'm nearly 30 years old and it's only been in the past few years I found out I may have been misdiagnosed for depression for almost a decade; I have moderate to severe ADHD, which is frequently misdiagnosed as other disorders in women my age. I've been struggling to develop better coping strategies only recently for years of PTSD and anxiety and being told to "just stop thinking about it" and "all you need is meds." I've only recently started to forgive and let go of the anger I held towards my late sister. I have many more milestones to go, but I'm getting there, one step at a time.
After many treatments, being told I could not have children. For some reason faith was twisted because I have a beautiful daughter now, conceived naturally.
When I was 26 and realized that apart from not having good social skills, I also lack basic life skills that most people learn during childhood
Hearing my best friend make a racial slur about MY RACE, in front of me and she did not realize how devastated by her remark I was.
The physical damage caused by my search for something to ease my depression. I have been depressed for most of my life and I’m now 63, which means I’m a survivor. But the last 3 years as I searched for a medical cure to the depression things have gone terribly.
In July ‘17 I was so depressed I checked into a psych unit. It was the first time I’d felt compelled to separate myself from society to keep from being able to act on my suicidal thoughts and it was the right thing to do. I was physically normal. They added an anti depressive and after a few days I went home.
But something was wrong. I was increasingly having a hard time speaking, swallowing, feeding myself, writing, concentrating, walking and my hands were shaking. By thanksgiving I couldn’t keep the food on my spoon long enough to get it to my mouth. Nobody could understand what was going on.
I searched and searched for an answer and discovered the medication they’d given me had produced a form of Parkinsonism — it was a rare side effect. I went back to the hospital so they could get me off the med in a couple days rather than tapering off over months as was recommended. I was told it would take 18 months to see which side effects would fade and which would be permanent. 2 years on it now looks like the speech and throat problems will make me sound like I’m drunk and make me cough when I eat, and I will shuffle my feet for the foreseeable future.
I’ve fallen 24 times since then and have had several concussions which cloud my thinking and planning abilities. My forehead has a dent from one bad fall and I’ve had stitches to the back of my head.
the next medicine they gave me left me with 2nd degree burns In January 2019 when it left my coordination so bad I spilled a pot of boiling soup down my chest. That med lasted two weeks. Med 3 made me way more depressed. 2 weeks.
I’ve lived an independent and interesting like. I’ve been on 4 continents, lived on two, speak part or all of four languages. I’ve been to the top of the Rockies, lived in Foxfire country in Appalachia, sat at the top of MacchuPicchu, sledded down the Alps, travelled thru India and Russia. My last big trip was to explore Iceland.
Right after the trip to Iceland, which showed me how disabling the past years had been, a wave of depression hit and I tried very seriously to kill myself april of ‘19. I ended up with permanent numbness from my right calf to the ends of my toes. My balance is shot.
Med 4 led to constant facial twitching in under a week. That’s since gone away but could have been permanent. The good news is if it had become permanent they now have a pill for that! Med 5 made me sleep all the time. Med 6 put me in the hospital this February because I could not stand without collapsing.
I went back to my original meds.
I had shoulder repair surgery after a fall this April. I broke my hip in July, had to rehome my dog (my baby, really) while I was recovering In the hospital. My daughter helped me move from my dream home in the wild mountains of north Georgia to flat hot northern Florida this past August (to live near her) the day after I got out of the hospital.
It feels like I’ll never regain my independence. I need a walker all the time and have a ramp to my front door. I’m now losing fine motor skills in my hands and a tremor is returning to my hands.My grandmother died of Parkinson’s when I was a kid and this might be the real thing this time.
But I’m still here.
I can’t say I’m “over it.” But I’ve committed to giving this a full year to play out before I judge how it’s going. I’ve got a medical marijuana license for the depression which I use in bed at night to keep it from making balance issues worse. It helps the depression for a couple days at a time. I spend time every week with my daughter and we’re becoming friends. I listen to comedy podcasts. I got a cat. I get everything I need delivered to my door. Now, after the election, I have hope.
Haven’t overcome it yet but my parents divorce and a breakup with my boyfriend at the time. He was the only person I felt like I could talk to and with covid things took a turn for the worse. Still battling anxiety, self hate, and insomnia. It’s hard but I try to remember that things will get better.
I don't even know where to start. I mean, I left my many friends then got bullied by somebody everyone thought was my friend, I gained a lot of weight because I was depressed, which made me more depressed, then all this started and got me out of a bad situation but I was stuck with a family that would rather not have me around which wasn't much better, plus I have anxiety and I think I have Bipolar and OCD but I'm no professional so yeah.
What Was The Hardest Thing I Have Ever Overcome? Well, a death. I lost my aunt at the age of 7. Then 3 years later her husband (my uncle) started dating another girl. When I was 8 or 9, my grandma lost her brother and won't stop talking about him and how he and his dad loved trucks. I hope nobody has to go though a harsh and sudden death like I do.
my mom abandoned me when i was 7 and my sister was 9 months and it was a really long night i was scared and called the police they came inside my house and they saw my mom wasn't there and then my aunt arrived (lived near us) after hearing all the sirens from police and fire department before that my mom and step dad got into a lot of fights and he would hit her and she would hit him i would stay up all night screaming mommy scared she would get hurt i started living with my grandparents and it turned out i was malnourished and i couldn't eat really sweet food because it made me sick
Learning that Alex Trebek died. We watched Jeopardy! almost every night and I always loved Trebek's comebacks, so hearing he died was a huge blow.
My first cat that i owned and had owned for 4 years died in October. It was heartbreaking and i sometimes go talk to him in the backyard (where we buried him). We got two kittens and that actually helped a lot. It also helped knowing that he died from old age and he was sick, so he was in a better place. I still miss him.