Just those core memories of childhood
This post may include affiliate links.
Adoptee here. Born and raised in 70’s. What dramatically shaped my childhood was my mother constantly reminding me that she could and would, “take me back where I came from”. I was very well provided for and most people would say I was, “spoiled”. They knew my mother was a little high strung but no one knew how insidious her abuse really was. One example is she angrily packed my suitcase one day to send me “back” and told me that she wouldn’t need to pack me any dresses because I wouldn’t need anything nice where I was going. My daddy came home and had a FIT. My dad was my lifeline when I was growing up taking me with him everywhere. Even just going outside to change the oil or mow the lawn with him helped ease my nerves. I should mention that this daddy is not the one that adopted me! He’s the one my mom married after my original dad passed away. He was/is the best man I have ever known. I gave him a kidney in 2009.
Interesting, similar story here. I'm adopted too, but didn't know it until I was 11 or so. Before then, mom would often joke about giving me back to the Yakima Indians. I don't look Native American but could be some I suppose, but was adopted out of a hospital in Yakima. The joking was weird and maybe some people would just dismiss it, but it reflected her lack of interest in treating me like a daughter. She never hugged me or snuggled with me or told me she loved me, but dad did, thank goodness.
Reading donald duck comic books. Seeing the character Gyro and how amazing his inventions were made me want to be a scientist. And in my child mind the way to become a scientist was to study and be as nerdy as I can be. So I started imitating the weird way nerdy kids talked in tv shows (think double D from ed edd and eddy), participating in nerdy hobbies, and working so hard to be a straight A student just so that I can be a scientist like Gyro. Unfortunatly, all that got me was no friends, being bullied a lot in school and a whole lot of unrealistic expectations from my parents and teachers that I failed to achieve. Problem is that I am still trying to achieve this goal (7 years in uni still trying to get a bachelors degree and counting) even though in my mind it turned into nothing but a curse instead of a dream. maybe once I actually achieve it it will be all worth it.
Is this still something you love? If not, as hard as it will be, try something new. I truly hope that you will find joy in your life.
When my mother asks me why I am not as pretty or as bright as my classmate. It shaped my entire childhood with low self esteem to the point where there are times when the default action was doing what she wanted me to do rather than me, being reasonably independent.
Mom hugs.
Cooking with maternal grandmother.
Watching sunsets with my dog.
Learning to dance from my mom, with the vacuum as a "partner", to her fave tunes on vinyl.
The combined smell of wild strawberry blossoms and the hayfield.
There are so many carry over's from my childhood. One I'll do to my dieing day. We never left the house, ever, without a sturdy piece of cardboard with our name, address and phone number in one of our pockets. I always have I.D. on my person. My momma, she didn't pull any punches. When I asked her why, she said she didn't want to have to identify my (our bodies, brother & sister's) body at the morgue if anything ever happened to use. Back in the day, she also made sure we had money for the payphone, if we ever needed to call home. Miss you Momma.
Singing the Tickety toc theme song while dancing with my giant white teddy bear in my Winnie-the-Pooh themed room.
My dad throwing me up in the air above the couch with the Lumineers playing
My mom putting on Bo on the Go while making dinner
The occasional visit’s to the children’s museum
Going to my dad’s office on my days off school
Those were the days.
I don't know a single one of these references lol what country is this from
Being bullied all day at school, coming home and being bullied by my older sister.It was hell.
I am so sorry you had to endure that. The most important thing is that you came thru it, and I'll bet you came thru it a stronger, kinder and more compassionate person.
Okay so, when i was younger, my dad would yell at my brothers a lot, and sometimes my mom too. And I guess that just made me not to get yelled at and made me scared whenever someone would yell.
For example: one time I was in school (7th grade) a teacher asked me where I was going in a really loud and mad voice. I thought it was my dad for a second and I started crying and panicking.
I’ve started recovering since then, and I’m slowly starting to stand up for myself more, but yelling definitely shaped me as a child… I had lots of panic attacks when people yelled too… I’m having less of them, fortunately.
Anyways, thats my story I guess.
Ah, I get that. I’m often yelled at as well and involuntarily flinch whenever someone raises their voice.
The Beatles on Ed Sullivan, Sunday night, 7:00 P.M., February 9, 1964, changed my world! Everything in every day life fell away and showed me music & fun! Over night there was more to life than dad going to work every day, mom always cleaning, me spending every day in school. Suddenly, there was a whole universe of possibilities, and all the music over the entire world became available and accessible. “I Wanna Hold Your Hand . . . .” Thanks, guys! (And I'm still playing & singing!)
I remember that night too! The world seemed very exciting back then, even though it was a much simpler time than today.
The love of all kinds of music my mother passed down to us kids. Everything from big band/swing, to singers like Engelbert Humperdinck, Tom Jones, Petula Clark to The Who , The Rolling Stones (her favourite rock band), to Motown, and then some.
When one of my brothers bought an album by The Tubers - he had her listen to a song they sang in Spanish. She liked it.
When I bought a record by The Police, the same brother teased me, skk ok my mom told him to shut up, and leave the room so she could hear them sing. She said some of their tunes sounded reggae, but it was good.
When MTV actually played music videos, she would stay up late catching up on laundry, and watch tv . Mind you, at the time she was in her 70’s, and going strong. One night (in the wee hours), she woke me and said “they’re playing a video of a bunch of men wearing dresses in a boat in a pretend swamp. Come tell me who it is “
I got up, and it was The Red Hot Chili Peppers.
She loved her Tejano music, and classic Mexican songs. She had a beautiful voice.
When dementia took her, she could still remember all the words to all the songs she ever sang.
But she still didn’t know who I was.
Our last moment together was her laying in her hospital bed at home, us holding hands, and singing “Miss You” by The Rolling Stones. Her favourite song by them.
There's a great documentary, Alive Inside, about the effects of music on dementia patients. People who were basically unresponsive came to life when they heard music from their younger days. Apparently, music accesses the brain through pathways that aren't as affected by dementia.
On Saturday nights my father would go to the corner candy store around midnight to buy the Sunday paper. When he got it home, he would go to the kitchen to read the serious news sections and give the comics to my mother.
My brother and I had our Saturday night bath. Our hair was washed. We had on fresh pajamas. My mother put fresh sheets on the beds.
My brother sat on one side of my mother and I sat on the other while she read us the comics, doing all the sound effects. She explained what whoosh lines meant, what it meant when gnats flew out of wallets, what it meant when there were drops coming out of people's heads. It was heaven.
That's how I learned to love reading and why I still love reading.
Having to study the Bible and other texts in Sunday School got me interested in thinking about the big questions of life: where did we come from and why, what's the purpose of human life, is there a natural, universal foundation of morals for humankind, is there a realization of reality that's greater and more true than what I've always considered to be real, what happens at death, etc. I eventually stopped going to Sunday School, but stayed interested in such questions, the study of which has been truly fascinating.
Being in the yard with the other kids from my apartment block
Before moving: Playing on my grandparents' house's roof with both my cousins and other friends when I was 3/4 yo. After moving: Watching morning cartoons on Cartoon Network while mum fed me breakfast, and waiting additional 30 mins after school with her so that we could walk home together.
Ok, so this probably isn't quite what is expected of this post, but here goes....
My mom died when I was 15. My dad and I were never very close. He spent most of his time shut in his bedroom. I ended up moving out to a friend's house when I was 17. It was at a party at that house where I met the girl that would eventually become my wife.
I think that if my mom hadn't died, I would have never met her. We've been together for over 30 years now.
honestly moving schools. I went to 8 schools in 8 years. At least now I like making new friends; for me, it is a challenge to be patient and keep loving the preexisting friends.
Something from my childhood which influenced my adulthood. I was born in 1970 and was an avid fan of 40's cartoons (think bugs bunny). In a lot of those cartoons, you would often see just the calf, ankle and show of a lady. Well, shoes in the 40's were ankle strap platform heels and they were FABULOUS! Fast forward to adulthood and I'm heavily into 40's fashion. I also dabble in 30's and 50's (my car is a '55 Ford Fairlane), but 40's everything is my favorite.
I was 5 years old. My brother was 2 years old. He quickly learned that if he wanted anything all he had to do was cry and my parents would automatically assume that I had done something to make him cry and thus punish me - usually by hitting me.
My parents divorce. My bio mom basically handed us over to our dad and was fine not being a big part of our life. All in all, that by itself would not have been the biggest deal, because I was so young when they got divorced that I couldn't miss something I never had. But when I was around 10 or 12 I was sexually assaulted by my stepdad. Because I was so young I did not realize till I was around 11 that what he was doing was most likely grooming me. My mom ignored signs, and when she finally mentioned this to the cops, I wasn't allowed to visit for a month. My mom made no effort to have us come over and I have not seen her for 6 years. So, she chose the man who sexually assualted Me over her daughter, and then had and another daughter with him and posts pictures on Facebook of their "perfect family". So now I have abandonment issues. Yay.
I don't know who hurt you more: your mum or your step-dad. Both of them failed and hurt you badly. Takes guts to share something so personal so I think you're stronger than either of them. Keep hold of that strength you have. It didn't abandon you. Let it galvanise you into being better than your mum and step-dad. Be the person who doesn't abandon people and who has empathy because of what they've been through. I've a feeling your mum will one day see you and be astonished at what you've accomplished and feel ashamed.
Going to summer camp that my parents didn't know was run by religious extremists. When those wack jobs learned my parents were non-believers, they harassed me no end. They told me I would roast in Hell for eternity. They turned the other kids against me and tried to make me admit that my father molested me. This gave me a very bad impression of religion. I realize there are good believers out there, but those a-holes completely destroyed any and all chance that I would ever be religious.
Jesus had something to say about messing with a child's faith. Something to the effect of, "it would be better to have a millstone tied around his neck and thrown into the depths of the sea than to cause one of these little ones to stumble." So, there you go.
Letting me pick out my own carpet and paint colors in our new house when I was in 1st grade. Pink walls with pink, 3-tone shag carpet. I lived in that room until I left for college. Never occurred to me to paint it or beg for new carpet when I got older LOL
In less than a year, I went from the giddiness surrounding the Century 21 Seattle World's Fair--that celebrated the new 'space age' and its associated wonders to come--to spending part of my 11th birthday crouched under my school desk in New Orleans for a Civil Defense drill during the Cuban missile crisis (which used new 'space age' technology that could have destroyed a large part of humanity).
I also grew up in Central Florida during the Cuban Missile Crisis. Because both of my parents had jobs that required them to stay at work, my mother warned me about what could happen in the event that we were attacked. She told me to climb in the ditch on the way home if I saw jets overhead. Many more instructions, but I was terrified. I would wake up in the night if I heard a plane overhead, sweating and shaking. I asked my mother why she was so explicit, and she said she was afraid that I wouldn't do as she told me. I still had nightmares about this well into my 30's.
Pokèmon! Got made fun of for it a bit but I still love playing it.
I loved pokemon too but didn't give a flying flip about others making fun of me for it.
Spending every break from school at my grandparents farm. Woodstove for cooking and heat, feeding animals, learning how to hitch a team, sawing firewood, fishing, stepping in cowpies barefoot if you didn't look where you were running, stars (no city lights), chilblains in the winter from being outside all day with wet mitts.
Still can only handle cities for a few days at most. I am much happer out in the country or wilds.
My dad's Christmas tradition of putting an extra present under the tree while we were sleeping and saying it was from Santa. :)
Also being emotionally abused every single day, and one time, physically abused. :(
Instability shaped my childhood. My dad left when I was 2, my mom was divorced three times by the time I was 11. Seven homes and five schools before 10, including three different schools in 1st grade. At 50 I still feel out of place in any new situation, and feel like the outsider even with people I know well. I don’t expect that will ever change.
My mom always let us know she was there for us. We could talk to her about anything. I knew we weren't well off, but I never realized how bad it was because she made it good. The best compliment I ever had was when her therapist asked her "If you could be like anyone in the world, who would that be?" She said me, but hadn't realized I was however I was because SHE raised me that way. We're still beasties and I'm still learning from her
My whole life was changed when my father abandoned my family when I was just a kid. It was me, my brother and sister, and my mom who had a hearing impairment and hadn't worked for years. We went from comfortable to homeless in the space of couple months. It was a difficult time, but I wouldn't change anything. The experience taught me to be resilient; to know that life turns on a dime, and everything is only temporary. I became more compassionate, because I learned that things can move both ways, up and down, and just because someone is on the bottom at the moment doesn't mean they'll stay there. It also made me determined to make my own way in the world, and never rely on others for the basics... I worked very hard, saved very well, and struggled to create my own security.
The beach, i live in CA and live right by Venice so as a kid i would often run from Venice all he way to Santa Monica. By Grandma would be pushing an empty stroller as i ran in my four year old glory
My brothers death in car crash when I was six
Me and my sis Messing about on the roof of our aunts flat
Asking and asking for a Harry Potter book set, then finally getting one and rereading them three times in 2 weeks.
When I was 9, I had been begging and begging my mum and dad to get me a dog. They finally got me one when I was ten. My reaction: 🤔😱😶😐🤑🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩
The 11 and a half years or mental ,emotional, and physical abuse by my father while.my mother hid from him and I got bullied in school, had no friends and oh did I mention harassed by my sister. OH and don't forget the rape and sexual harassment.
It was 7 in the evening. My younger bother and I were in bed. I was 6, he was 3.
My parents had guests for dinner and my brother and I were playing in bed.
My father stormed up the stairs, shouting that we were being too noisy. He grabbed me, threw me against the wall and went back downstairs.
Homelessness.
Homelessness can be an experience to learn from. I've been homeless quite a few times and it definitely makes you appreciate a bathroom, or kindness. I don't miss the looks i would get from "snobby" people though.
- Siblings (I have 5)
- Imagination
- Art
- Food
- Grandma
- Scaring the crap out of my parent by accidentally sleeping in very hard places to find
Growing up within 300 feet of older cousins who taught me how to dance to Chubby Checker, The Drifters, Martha and The Vandellas, Maurice Williams & The Zodiacs, and Wilson Picket.
In the late 1950s, I was the first child, grandchild, niece, etc. The world revolved around me and life was grand! Then, two months before I turned 2yo, I was given a baby sister. No one had asked if I wanted one. She was just suddenly there. My replacement. Obviously. • ● • Everyone I loved constantly told me that, as The Big Sister, I "knew better." They all believed that I had this weird power. • ● • But I didn't, and I was terrified they'd discover that, in reality, I DIDN'T know better! I didn't have a freakin' clue! It only got worse as three more siblings appeared over the years. • ● • With each milestone, if I made any kind of mistake, I was reminded that I knew better.
You're a big kindergartener now, you know better than that! You're 13yo now, You Know Better! • ● • Since I'd always known better, I didn't dare ask for instructions or guidance. For anything. Not even as the new mom of a newborn that cried continuously. If I did, they'd realize that I was a fake all along! (This was way before post-partum depression was recognized as a reality. The internet and its wealth of information did not exist.) • ● • While it's getting easier, it's still hard to ask for any kind of input from someone. The fear of being found out and ridiculed still rears its ugly head, even tho I long ago accepted that, unfortunately, I am NOT magic. • ● •
I don't really remember anything, but something that changed it was when I cam home from my cousin's wedding late at night (12 ish) I was either tired af or there was ice, but either way, I fell on my face and cut my cheek.
my parents divorce, transformers animated, beyblade metal fusion, also the war with the junkyard kid clan
I was 6 years old. Robin Hood was the rage on children’s TV. My father bought me and my younger brother a plastic Robin Hood bow and arrows. If I pulled the bow as far as I could, the arrow would fly about 5 feet. It had a red rubber sticker in the front.
My father saw me and my brother pointing our arrows at each other and confiscated our toys. An hour later he called us to come and get our toys. He he handed them back to us. He had broken the bows and arrows into tiny pieces - about 3 inches long.
I was 6 years old. Our family went on holiday to Wales, in the car. My younger brother and I were in the back seat and after 3 hours started fighting. My father stopped the car, opened the back door, pulled me out and drove off. I WAS 6 YEARS OLD!!!!
I couldn’t wait to leave home. I went to University. At that time, students received a grant to help pay for rooms, food, etc. The grant was ‘means tested’ - the more your parents earned, the less grant you received. My parents refused to help me and because my ´grant’ was thus so low, I had to work ever evening and weekends to have enough money to live. For one term (3 months) after I had paid rent, etc. I had, literally no money. I lived on rice. No vegetables, no milk, no meat, just rice. My complexion was destroyed, my health plummeted BUT I SURVIVED !!! My father is dead. MAY HE ROT IN HELL
Okay, so here's something that really messed me up mentally, hopefully y'all can relate. But when I was little, I used to be bullied for being ugly and bad at school, to top that, my parents worked at lot and came home late and tired. One day, I got in a head injury, had to go to the hospital, almost got in a coma. Idk why, but that really made me paranoid. What if I got into another head injury? When I moved towns andoved schools (4 years later) I was so nervous that I would get bullied just like I did years ago. When my mom got a new job (4 years later) I was so scared she would have to work and work and work all over again. And Jesus, I can't live a single day without worrying I'm gonna get in another big head injury, I'm so paranoid still and it's been 4 years.
You are due some magical karma, it's time. Sounds like you've been through a lot and that the head injury is still bullying you. Speak with your doctor or Google free therapy/counselling if you haven't already tried it and talk that injury right out of your mind. You were never ugly or bad at school but were made to feel that way. I'm sending you symbols of good fortune and I hope your life can be made happier. Here's to you 💝 🦄 🦋 🫂 ☘ 🌈 ⭐ 🖼 🧸 🎓 🔑 🆙️ 👍
Toxic family, being bullied in middle school, coming out as agender, and just absolutely music altogether. Music is the one thing I can lose myself in. It’s like therapy for me, which I desperately need. I was also diagnosed with ADHD and generalized anxiety disorder in elementary school. They tried to put me on medication for it, but nothing helped. Plus my parents told the doctor to take the dosage down to half because of some drug problems that run in the family, so that was probably an issue as well.
My dad was serious history fan.We had some "archeological journeys": my grandparents house is located in a village which used to be quite a big merchant point in 8-12 centuries. There are so many artifacts that you even don't need to dig to find!Anyway.He had never read any fairytales for me - too boring. Instead it was history facts. Intrigues,wars,murders,injustice,battle strategy,love and anything else you could imagine.It captured me so strongly that,when it came to getting to university,I refused to choose between 2 most favorite subjects. The thing is, the speciality that connects both is taught only in the best Uni of the country. My actions? I got in. Nobody believed in me (except for parents), I've never been very good at school: it always seemed too boring (all 100 for class work, all 0 for homework😅). All my teachers and relatives said that I need to choose smth not so pretentious. F them. I got my bachelor degree and then got 2 Masters. Win.
Michael Joseph Jackson. Always playing his music. Always. I am a hardcore fan now.
Nintendo.
Xbox
That Sonic The Hedgehog tv show with Jaleel White
Books. Instead of being glued to electronics everywhere, it was books. Big, Heavy, long books.
Dole fruit cups
Full House
Harry Potter
Rainbow loom bracelets. You know, those rubber band bracelets? I was really hardcore about that.
Crazy loud music, and dancing, and pastelitos at family parties (My Mom is
Cuban)
There's so much more family memories, just to much to write
My uncle blowing out the candles on my Elmo birthday cake…. Jk
It would probably be loosing my best friend. She did some bad things and eventually took me down with her. I had known her for 14 or 15 years and it was really hard to say goodbye. Just some wisdom for all you that are having a friend problems, if you think it is toxic then it probably is. Even if you love that person do you really want to go the rest of your days with them? You have to ask those hard questions. I would also strongly suggest that you talk to a stable adult about it or someone that won’t ridicule you. There are always other people out there for you.
Okay so, when i was younger, my dad would yell at my brothers a lot, and sometimes my mom too. And I guess that just made me not to get yelled at and made me scared whenever someone would yell.
For example: one time I was in school (7th grade) a teacher asked me where I was going in a really loud and mad voice. I thought it was my dad for a second and I started crying and panicking.
I’ve started recovering since then, and I’m slowly starting to stand up for myself more, but yelling definitely shaped me as a child… I had lots of panic attacks when people yelled too… I’m having less of them, fortunately.
Anyways, thats my story I guess.
My very first memory was going downstairs and seeing Dad standing in the hall in his skivvies.
Where's Mommy?
She's in the hospital.
Why is she in the hospital??
Because you kids drove her crazy.
She was in the hospital because she was having kid #5, or 6, I can't remember. I was 4 or 5. But it's shaped my life. Feeling un needed and un wanted. I'm almost 65. Dad is going to be 94 this summer. Mom is gone 21 years now. And it is one of my most vivid memories.
Marvel, having half christian parents(made me not christian, NO i dont hate christians), and books
Born 1959. Winter skating on a local large creek , marshmallows by the fire, dancing on my daddy's feet to the platters, running in the fields,forest all day .tree swings over a brook IWvwete not rich so when we ran out of oil. I would wake up to a blanket door to the kitchen where the oven was on and hot chocolate on the table. To me it was special.to my parents it must have been stressful.i was blessed with a Norman Rockwell life and still thankful.
The Far Side and Calvin and Hobbes. I learned to think deeply and laugh at the macabre.
Books (and movies). They were, and still are, my escape from reality. My family often makes fun of how attached I am to fictional characters, but they help me cope and have always been there for me.
I feel that way about the Bible. Many characters in there that helped me cope with many different things.
As the oldest daughter (2nd child) I learned compassion & empathy early. I was about 9 or 10 when I asked dad if I could put out the cookies & milk for Santa. He was (unknown to me) putting together a ton of toys for 5 kids. He looked at me and replied "I think Santa's going to want a glass of Scotch & a pack of Winstons this year." Looking back, it makes me appreciate his humor more. Thanks dad.
Food.
I know family recipes by heart. I love going through my Nonnie's old cookbooks. I would ask for specific dishes that date back to before my dad was born!
Physically and mentally abused. Suddenly being uprooted from one country to an entirely different continent when i was 10. Books. Fighting. Friends. Stress. Grades.
CG5 and JTmusic. My world would be a lot sadder without them. Also dnf. It makes me happy.
Same, i just loved music in general as a kid but those were some of my fav artists.
Music from 1900-1980, my g’ma on moms side loved Elvis and g’ma on dads side loved the Beatles. To this day I’ll either recognize or know all the words to almost any song from then to.
Getting mobbed through the entire eleven years of school and being considered responsible for that by the teachers (no matter if I fought back or not).
Being hated by my father who only was home on weekends due to work and left my mother when I was 8. That my big sister used me as valve to vent her anger didn't help either nor that my entire familiy thinks I'm a stupid loser (compared to my cousins). My mother suffers from the aftermaths of a meningitis and we never really had much money. Was the only person to teach me actual values like kindness and politeness.
May sounds bad, but overall made me quite strong - lacking social skills is quite a problem though as being shy and quiet is seen as equal as being an idiot it seems
I've always been socially distant. The "norms" people take for granted- shaking hands, or even having friends- just aren't that important to me. I'm comfortable doing my own thing, and people can be nearby (ish- stay at least 5 feet away please) but generally, please just leave me alone. I didn't know until i was an adult, but teachers always had the other kids play with me- whether or not they wanted to- because they thought i was lonely. And, while i support including people, everyone always forgets that not everyone wants to be social or included. Making the other kids play with me only helped solidify my belief that nobody ACTUALLY likes me and they're just pretending to be nice to make themselves feel better about including the "poor lonely friendless loser in the corner" I was having PLENTY of fun by myself before you started pushing your ideals onto me. I was fine before you decided to interrupt my activity, and i am counting the moments until you GO AWAY. Geez people are selfis
Beginning ballet. It was the most exhilarating experience of my life. It still is. Even though being a ballet dancer is some of the most horrifying pain you'll ever experience--worse than child labour--it's incredible.
My parents didn’t ever show affection to each other, or me and my brother. That probably affected my early life. Plus the toxic best friend that I’d had for 9 years. And the fact that my parents pushed for perfection, and if we didn’t have that, we “weren’t trying”. So yeah, that probably shaped my life today.
single mom working 2-3 jobs because dad wouldn't pay any support. two siblings that were not the greatest in their actions kept me on the straight and narrow. not because of punishments but because i didn't want to cause my mom more stress. was i perfect? of course not! but much better to the point that all my mom and later step dad had to say to make me know i screwed up was 'i am so disappointed in you'.
single mom working 2-3 jobs because dad wouldn't pay any support. two siblings that were not the greatest in their actions kept me on the straight and narrow. not because of punishments but because i didn't want to cause my mom more stress. was i perfect? of course not! but much better to the point that all my mom and later step dad had to say to make me know i screwed up was 'i am so disappointed in you'.
