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30 Stories Of The Nastiest Things Exes Have Told Their Partners After They Got Dumped, As Shared By Our Community
Interview
Most everyone has had a "good riddance to bad rubbish" moment when it came to ending a toxic relationship. The feeling of finally cutting ties with someone who has brought nothing but negativity and drama into your life can be incredibly liberating. But more often than not, the "dump-ee" has some final words to say on the matter.
It's a common occurrence for an ex to lash out with hurtful and insulting remarks after being dumped. They may try to hurt you with words in an attempt to make themselves feel better about the situation. It's important to remember that these words are not a reflection of your worth as a person and to not let them affect you.
Have any more "nasty" things that an ex has said to you after you had dumped them? Share your stories in the comments below. Let's hear the worst of the worst and give each other some virtual support during this difficult time.
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One thing I don't understand is, HE wanted out, HE was sleeping with my best friend (and got her pregnant while we were in marriage counseling) so when I said okay, lets end it, he was enraged. He told me the world would be a better place if my mother had scraped me out with a rusty coat hanger than if I had been born. He also said, "You'll never find someone to treat you the way I did." THAT'S THE WHOLE POINT.
You bruised his poor ego by finishing with him. Those are truly vile words. You're well rid then, hon.
In an interview with psychologist and family therapist Shannon Benson, Bored Panda asked her to explain the role of gender roles and cultural backgrounds in how exes communicate after a breakup. "Gender roles can influence the way that men and women express their emotions and communicate with their exes," said Benson.
"For example, traditional gender roles may suggest that men are supposed to be less expressive of their emotions and more likely to suppress them, while women are expected to be more open and expressive. This may result in men being less likely to initiate communication with their exes, or less likely to express vulnerability and sadness, while women may be more likely to reach out and express their feelings."
He asked everyone he knew to call me and say what a loser I am, etc., but I got no calls. Turns out they all sided with me and now a have another huge group of friends.
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Not mine but was given permission to share it.
My sister dated this guy for like 2 years. Super manipulative and toxic a**hole. He flipped his lid when she finally had enough and broke it off.
Told her she was "f*cking worthless anyways" and "___ was a better f*ck anyhow" then he told her he had been planning to "drop [her] a** anyhow because [she was] starting to really pack on the pounds and it was getting gross."
She had an eating disorder for years. And she was really only starting to get back to a healthy weight, so calling her fat was possibly the cruelest thing he could've done.
Luckily, shed been going to therapy by that point and was really happy with the added weight so the words didn't do what he wanted.
Those type of people really are so weak they feel they have to prey on other's weaknesses and insecurities to make themselves feel better. She is well rid of them.
Benson also highlighted that cultural backgrounds can play a role in how exes communicate after a breakup. "Different cultures may have different expectations or norms around communication, emotional expression, and relationships," she noted.
"For example, some cultures may place more emphasis on preserving relationships and maintaining harmony, while others may be more individualistic and focus on personal growth and self-expression. This may result in exes from different cultural backgrounds communicating differently after a breakup. For example, in some cultures, direct confrontation might be seen as impolite and be avoided, while other cultures may view direct confrontation as an important aspect of communication."
My ex (mother to my son) said I'm a sad a loser and no one else would want me. She abused me for the two years we were together. I've been in a happy relationship for 7 years now and have the best relationship with my son from my ex. I also have a son with my current partner. :)
"You're nothing but a lazy user who nobody wants and nobody loves!!! I also reported your dog stolen and sent both your pictures to every vet in the state so you'll be arrested when you bring him in for his shots!!!"
Not finished with all the legal nonsense, but a no-contact order works wonders.
The family therapist also told us about the distinction between healthy and unhealthy communication from an ex post-breakup. "Healthy communication is characterized by mutual respect, kindness, and a willingness to listen and understand each other's perspective," shared Shannon. "It is focused on resolving conflicts and finding a way to move forward in a positive way. It is respectful and non-threatening. On the other hand, unhealthy communication can be disrespectful and often includes personal attacks, verbal abuse or manipulation, and attempts to control the other person. It can make it hard to find closure and move on, and can escalate conflicts."
When I realized he was a narcissist, I decided to end things. My son had passed away the year before from cardiac arrest brought on by energy drinks. When he started gaslighting me (again) and I said I was done, he got nasty and physical.
He told me that if I’d been a better mother, my son would still be alive. I lost it and tried to leave. He dove into the car as I was leaving, causing me to accidentally run over his leg. I called 911, then he pulled a gun on me while I was on the phone.
The dispatcher overheard the whole conversation and sent the police. He tried to say I mowed him down but he was partially in the passenger, hanging out the door so they didn’t believe him. They arrested him based on what the dispatcher had relayed. A week later he was arrested AGAIN for breaking his son’s jaw. No revenge needed.
He doesn’t sound like someone who should be commenting on others’ parenting skills.
He put me in the hospital. Seriously beat me because I had no right, apparently, to make a decision about ‘his life’ without him. This was after a fight where he’d got angry about me using contraception because *he* wanted children.
(25 years ago. I don’t know if he’s even still alive and I’m ok with that.)
Benson emphasized that "everyone heals differently and has different boundaries," and it's important to "listen to oneself and find what works best for you and your individual needs." She also reminded that "no one should tolerate any form of verbal abuse or harassment," and that it's important to "take steps to protect oneself from unhealthy communication."
That without him I'm nothing.
It was just his toxic, narcissistic manipulation to belittle me, as he was doing similar things for 7 years (the time we were together). And this was hilarious, because I was taking care of everything about our relationship - it was me who found and furnished our apartment, I was cooking, cleaning, and paying for most of the stuff as I have a better paid job. I dumped him because he was a narcissist and cared only about himself.
Good for you that you dumped him, those people are such a waist of your time ;)
He told me that he wasn’t looking for anything serious…we had been together for 8 years, lived together for 6 and I had raised his children like my own. He could just never stop cheating.
That he'd slept with his ex the night before and it had shown him how much he "really cared" for me. You know, because there's no better way to say "I love you" than forking someone else.
Maybe they thought they were on a break? I know, I'll show myself out.....
It's maybe not "nasty" but I still can't wrap my head around it. He said, "It would work if you'd change your attitude". Sure... I really just should be okay with being talked down to the whole time, with being ignored, with being gaslighted... sure thing.
I'm glad it didn't work. You definitely shouldn't change to accept c**p like that!
My ex-fiancée, the week that my brother died, sent me an email about how we had to delete our wedding Facebook account and that I was a terrible person. I know that he knew about my brother dying, because we have mutual friends that would have told him. I'm glad that I ended things with someone who waited till it hurt the most to hurt me more.
This was one of the many terrible things he said, but it stands out the most.
My ex told me that I would never ever get someone of his caliber ever, and that I would wind up with some grease-monkey. Well I did marry a man who worked on cars for a living, and he made 3 times what my ex made, and now my college graduate ex is in his 60s and hasn't worked in his field in decades and now works at a sporting goods store barely above minimum wage.
My EX taunted me saying, "you have something like a p*nis... only smaller!" I said, "Oh, you look like my new girlfriend... only fatter and less flexible." She didn't take it all that well!
“What kind of a mother would a girl like YOU be?”
I had become close friends with an Irish co-worker. He was a fairly naïve country boy who loved my tattoos and ever-changing hair color, and was always fascinated with my unusual upbringing and adventures. Until we drunkenly hooked up after our company’s Xmas party, and I became pregnant.
I was almost 30 and wanted to have it and remain friends. He threatened to go back to Ireland to avoid child support if I did not do what HE and his family back home wanted- which was to have the baby and give it up for adoption. At the same time, he wanted to name it after an ex-girlfriend of his. (WT actual F?) I’m on my own in every sense with no family or support system, and I didn’t want my child to grow up in the same miserable poverty that I did. So I had an abortion. As it turned out, I was never able to get pregnant again. So my “family” dies with me.
He took all of my biggest insecurities and made fun of them. He told me I should be insecure about them and listed out examples of how true they were.
I bet he missed all of his own flaws.... but the biggest one was quite obvious, his lack for brains and great taste... All those things he listed as your "insecurities" he once loved, so listing them to you now to put you down is all a lie... kick those insecurities out the door and love yourself just the way you are, because that's the perfect you ;) Trust me, even the ones that we think are "perfect" will always find things they think less of. Hugs
One cheated on me & told me I was an alcoholic (after he got a DUI). Another said that I was mentally ill because I was leaving him after he'd cheated on me (then he got into the boxes I'd packed & stole several of my things). Another told me that he hated that I'd cut my hair, that I should skip lunches (apparently I was getting too fat for him), and that it wasn't hard work but simply dumb luck that I'd been able to land a great career (but he had no problem spending the money I made on old cars & other useless c**p, including using MY severance check to buy an old Ford pickup). When I told him I wanted a divorce, he was shocked. Really? He guilt-tripped me into leaving a couch that was purchased with MY bonus check & ended up giving it away after I left.
I have my grandmother's luck when it comes to lousy men!
Unfortunately, as I learned watching many of my and my sisters' relationships, it's usually not luck, but either a warped self-image or naivety when it comes to those runs of "bad luck" with men... If you learn to recognise your own worth, and that it doesn't depend on other people, you'll be in a position to not let abusive, controlling or otherwise "bad boys" into your life. When you're still too naive to recognise early signs, that's another story. But I've never seen someone who's actually been "unlucky" with men, we all chose poorly. There's a big difference, and it's the fact that you can work on choosing better next time, it's in your hands!
I told my ex to choose between his addiction or the kids and myself. He said straight out said his addiction. Good riddance.
My ex-wife told me I’m a fraud, broke every picture of me in the house, and told me “F*** your music” (I have a side gig as a musician). She then spent six months begging me to come back, but when I finally told her I’m never coming back, she told people in texts that went to my ten-year-old kid’s iPad that I’m a “laughable parent” and that she is the victim of my abuse. It’s been a constant, complete lunacy ever since.
Oh, and she also said, “You’ll hit rock bottom without me.” I haven’t, and it’s two years later.
My husband told me he didn't want to pay alimony because we don't have kids. And therefore I was able to build my career within our marriage. Guess what: we had a son (stillborn) in 2019 AND an elaborate fertility program that led to a miscarriage after in 2021. So yeah, his comment really hurt me.
Move on and get him out of your life, that’s the best way to heal. My ex owes me 4 grand but I know Ill never see it and it’s just the price I paid to not have him in my life anymore and it was worth it.
She said, "I only slept with him (my best friend at that time) once!"
That I'm not good enough to be loved but my friend, whom you met through me is good enough. Happened 4 times in a row, by 4 different people that don't know each other. It must be true.
It's not true. You just need to find your perfect person. Don't settle for anything less.
"You're not pretty enough to dump someone like me. In fact, *I* say it's over between us!"
He said he loved me after he slept with my sister and my best friend.
We weren't exclusive or anything but had been close friends for years before we started hooking up. A few months after things fell apart we talked and he told me he had known for about a year that we shouldn't be in touch.
So I asked him why he had spent time with me although him knowing better. The answer was that he had been single for eight years and therefore was desperate and that I had to understand.
He knew it was wrong, he knew there would be fallout. He blew up your friendship over needing to get laid. Then told you you had to understand?? What a piece of sh*t.
After I broke up with my ex (after a year of his condescending behavior and I finally had enough after he berated me for posing with an advertisement/billboard of one of my fav K-pop stars), he told me for my next relationship I get into, I would most likely be physically abused.
I don’t even know what a K-pop star is, and I still say that’s none of his damned business! If you like whatever a K-pop star is (unless it’s illegal or harmful to others which I highly doubt), that’s awesome and not for anybody in the world to judge - nobody asked for HIS opinion about YOUR likes, what the hell? I sure hope he’d be fine with people pìssing all over what he enjoys in life, otherwise he’s both an αsshole AND a hypocrite.
I don't know if it counts, since I didn't dump them. But the first girl I dated left me for the guy she was cheating on me with, and she told me explicitly. She also told me how much better he was than me.
The second girl I dated admitted to deliberately trying to push me into taking myself out.
Dumped him because he could not stop cheating on me. Told him the day I broke up with him, I couldn’t believe I gave him my virginity and he had the gall to tell me he had been a virgin, too. Pure unadulterated a*****e!
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And this, my friends, is why I am happily single and intend to stay that way. That one son of a b***h who stole his ex's dog has it coming for him in the next life 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬
actually, my ex has never said anything to my face that was nasty but who know what he could have said. i do know that he changed the story as to why i left several times to different people which annoyed me because the truth would have put him in a bad light. if anything, i am the one that said something nasty to him. prior to my leaving i had been supporting the house and because he wasn't working regularly i also paid his utilities and food after i was gone. we ran into each other at a restaurant at the register. i was with my dad; he was with the girlfriend that he moved in a day after i left. he tossed his bill by mine as i was paying as a joke and my acid tongue let go. i just handed it back with 'sorry-i paid for you long enough. it's her turn."
And this, my friends, is why I am happily single and intend to stay that way. That one son of a b***h who stole his ex's dog has it coming for him in the next life 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬
actually, my ex has never said anything to my face that was nasty but who know what he could have said. i do know that he changed the story as to why i left several times to different people which annoyed me because the truth would have put him in a bad light. if anything, i am the one that said something nasty to him. prior to my leaving i had been supporting the house and because he wasn't working regularly i also paid his utilities and food after i was gone. we ran into each other at a restaurant at the register. i was with my dad; he was with the girlfriend that he moved in a day after i left. he tossed his bill by mine as i was paying as a joke and my acid tongue let go. i just handed it back with 'sorry-i paid for you long enough. it's her turn."
