This is my first ever post! I decided to let humor start 2021 off strong!

#1

Me telling the other team in pickle ball that my team will lose 100%: “Imma lose my a** out”

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#2

I don't know how many here remember John Madden, football coach and later football announcer. But many years ago, I was watching a football game and it was tied at the end of the 4th quarter. I was eating a bowl of chili at the time. The team captains were heading out onto the field to flip the coin to see who would receive in the overtime quarter. John Madden then said, "They've done a study on this and they determined a coin flip was 50/50". My spoon froze in mid air halfway to may mouth and I just stared at the TV. Did he just say that??

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#3

"I think they can hear us."

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#4

"Do you want to know what the J-word is?"
"What?"
"It's vagina"
" ... "

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#5

Not everyone will understand this, ok? So I was on Spotify and I found a little (50 second) clip of an intro to Fleetwood Mac concert apparently In 1977. So I listened to it and they were like ”ok, here’s Fleetwood Mac!, blah blah blah!” And then they started playing “tusk” and I was like LMAOOOOOOO THIS IS SO FAKE. Spotify so stupid. (Tusk came out in 1981 nowhere near 1977)

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#6

Not heard, but read: " *long complaint / rant about neighbor* ..... His dog is barking in a Polish manner"

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