Pandas, share a red flag experience you had.
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If they are rude to people around them, Service staff like waiters/waitresses. It’s a good indication of how you’ll be treated if in a relationship with them. And it’s not nice, that too.
My worst ever date-blind date, met in a bar before going for dinner, and he clicked his fingers at the barman and later on at the waitress to get their attention-actually clicked his fingers like he was doing clicker training for dogs. I left after the main course, couldn't face any more his behaviour-one comment he made was that if he was prepared to take me to dinner, I should have had the courtesy to wear a lower cut top and show him some cleavage. The friend who set up the date was absolutely mortified when I told him what happened, they were work colleagues and had never really interacted socially.
If they don't like pets of any kind
Phone obsession. Absolute red flag. If someone can't leave their phone alone long enough to engage in a conversation then that's it, I'm out
If they're rude to the waiter.
When they only want to talk about themselves, no matter the topic
If they become abusive/rude when drunk.
If they message you before the date asking for petrol money (money for "gas") or airtime (money to make their cellphone work). It means they're a catfish.
Treating the staff reall crummy. How you act with staff & animals is who you are on the inside.
If they try to murder me, I pretty much decide that a relationship isn't going to work between us.
When they act as if they've already figured you out although everything is just based on assumptions. And when you correct them they ignore it. So: When they act as if they know you better than you yourself do.
This is my #1 pet peeve. Next would be attempting to order my food or drink for me.
Having taught Conscious Dating Practices for 34 years here are my Top Ten:
Inability to listen with care
They will not reveal their true intentions (often fear being honest about wanting a committed partnership)
They get critical about who you are
They demonstrate any for of unkindness
They do not know what they want and need in a relationship! (This means they will practice with your heart!)
They lie
They will not introduce you to their family or friends
Their own life is a mess (how can they take care of YOU?)
They do not love themselves
They are wounded from the past and refuse to seek help!
PS: if any of these show up…”on a first date” … then take notice! And, sometimes. A lot can be found out or revealed in a first date too!
they try to police my speech. i admit it, i curse a lot jus in ordinary convos. went out with this one guy who would say "language, young lady" every time i did. first of all, i was in my 40s at the time. second of all, bruh...i'm sure y'all can imagine what happened after the third or so time he did it: YUP, i lit his a** up and left in the middle of the meal. LMAO (this is why i always drive myself to dates.)
If they move in too quick. You know, like trying to have sex already.
A guy picked me up to go out for a drink once and berated me about not having my license (nevermind I'd just come home from living abroad and travelling for ten years so I had bigger fish to fry, thanks). He even said 'we will have to fix that'
His politics didn't align with mine either and was a wexiter (Albertan separatist), drank way too much, kept texting his ex all night, and invited his female friend on the second date we went on.
Spoiler alert: his friend was actually the best part of the date hahahaha
If they spend the first date whingeing and whining about everything and blaming others-one first date of mine spent the evening complaining about how hard accountancy exams were and the questions were ambiguous and it wasn't his fault that he didn't pass 1st time. And then he made non-stop complaints about the restaurant, the food, the waitress, the lack of availability of car parking nearby, the menu choices available, the people on the table next to us who were talking too much (not too loud, but they were having a normal two way reciprocal conversation, not listening to one person's diatribe). He was so negative and joyless it was depressing to listen to.
Talking about how much they hated their ex.
Saying they are kidding when they insult me. Haha. Aren’t jokes funny?
Here are a few that actually happened to me:
Her ex showed up at our date. NOPE! SEE YA!
One kept going on and on about her mental breakdowns after numerous men left her! ADIÓS!!
Went on a date with a beauty contestant and she had a shrine to herself in her house!!! ✌️
Another told me she got a guys name tattooed on her a$$ after knowing him for a month!!! 🏃🏼♂️💨
When they can describe the area you live in (starting from local fast food places, to your favorite park, the gas station around the corner from your house, and then describe your house when they've never been there) without knowing a damn thing about you. I didn't have social media or anything. Huge nope for me at the time.
Trying ANYTHING s3xual. It’s a first date, not a 1 night stand.
Not necessarily. It depends on the dynamic. I recently was offered s3x on a first date and took it because we were getting on very well.
Talking about an ex in a horrible way. Ie she/he is a bi***/tw**. Even worse if they have children with the person.
It's ok not to like someone but don't badmouth them.
A date being sweet as pie to you, but rude and obnoxious to the waiter/waitress, other drivers, or service people. They will come to treat you that way.
The question: Sooo ... How much do you make?
If she expresses a desire to get married or have children, Im out. Thats not first date material. I actually try to get that out of the way beforehand. Nobody likes their time wasted. Sloppy eaters is also a big one for me, and that goes for anyone I meet. If I see you being a slob in public, I dont wanna hang out with you.
well it depends if for the married and children one. if she is just like "yeah i want to marry you and have kids" on the first date i would be a bit anxious because she doesn't even really know me, but if she just says generally that she's looking for someone to settle down with i would be fine and most likely go on a second date.
Not so subtle hints about what he expects later.
Well, if you don't like s3x then this is a problem, but if you connect well with the person AND you like s3x, then I do not see the problem? Unless that was ALL he was interested in? Just asking for clarity. Personally I do not mind if a woman indicates that she just wants s3x. She won't get a second date, but I won't really say no.
If they start talking about their ex or commenting on everything you do or trying to do some questionable stuff.
If they don't pay.
Man spreading. Keep your legs together, stay in your own lane.
Mansplaining. My simple female mind wasn't able to figure it out on it's own.
Making anyone feel small with an insult.
Being terribly late without a call.
Being too smooth, romatic, seeming too cool. Basically talking too much game/ not showing their true self enough or at all. Psycho RF.
That she actually agreed to go out with me
I would never join a club that would accept me as a member. ----- Groucho Marx.
When u tell him u don't have a car but he says not to worry he'll just have one of his slaves pick u up....and he's a cult leader
they don't tip at all or they leave way too small an amount, like $5 on a $75 bill.
which is not applicable to most of the world https://worldpopulationreview.com/country-rankings/countries-that-tip
If she gives her pronouns.
It wasn't but when he told me he was hospitalized for them to adjust his meds, I should have left. Now I have no money for a divorce. DO NOT marry a mentally ill person, please.
Saying, "DO NOT marry a mentally ill person, please" is the saddest thing in the world. People like you are the reason there is such a horrible stigma about mental health. I couldn't love my husband more, and he is schizophrenic. He is an amazing, loving and loyal man. We have been married for almost 18 years. I feel sorry for you.
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It wasn't but when he told me he was hospitalized for them to adjust his meds, I should have left. Now I have no money for a divorce. DO NOT marry a mentally ill person, please.
Saying, "DO NOT marry a mentally ill person, please" is the saddest thing in the world. People like you are the reason there is such a horrible stigma about mental health. I couldn't love my husband more, and he is schizophrenic. He is an amazing, loving and loyal man. We have been married for almost 18 years. I feel sorry for you.
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