Hey Pandas, What Has A Boss Or Supervisor Guilt-Tripped You Into? (Closed)
Have you ever had a boss who was manipulative? One who would guilt you into coming in, no matter what?
I was forced to work through Mono. My boss at the time manipulated and guilt-tripped me into working through it. If you've ever had Mono, you know how messed up that is. If not, it isn't the worst illness you can get, but it lasts for weeks, if not months. I could barely sleep from being so exhausted all the time. The smallest effort wore me out. It was like a persistent cold that wouldn't go away for like 3 months. I was sore all the time, and my breathing was sometimes labored. But my boss would guilt me into coming in. My co-workers thought he was a jerk for it. He knew that I was eager to please and at the time, was drinking suicidally, and desperate to stay employed. Between buying me a martini set for Christmas the year before I rock bottomed and pressuring me into selling him my Dexedrine, I'm glad to be rid of the fucker. I've been sober for over seven years now, and my current boss is great.
I was known for having dyed red hair, I'd re-dyed it after it had really dulled down, another head of department had come in to the office and said how much she loved it, but my boss said it wasn't very professional. Stupidly, I decided to dye it back to a more natural brown colour the next evening, she said how great I looked. I started to hate her after this and noticed all the little tricks she was playing to manipulate me. I left pretty soon after that.
Not so much a guilt trip as a manipulation, but I once had a boss make me fire my colleague (who was also a friend) when he was away on vacation because he was too chicken to do it.
Didn't force me.....but tried to.
She called me to ask me to work everytime, EVERYTIME , I had a day off.
Well, a lot of times I would go because I knew and loved our clients.
I got tired of never having a day off. I know it was by choice, but was tired of it.
One day she called and asked if I would work, I said no. She started with the flattery; we need good kind people like you to serve our clients. I told her that I don't respond to flattery.
Then she threatened me; if you don't come in, I'll shorten your clients list then you can have off as many days as you want.
I told her that I also don't respond to threats, and I hung up.
Found out later that she did this with every employee so that she didn't have to leave her home.
She didn't shorten my client list and would call me every now and then, but not every day off.
My ring tone for her was The Emperial March.
I quickly learned that no one can take advantage of you without your consent.
Years ago, I was in the middle of caregiving my now-late husband who declined the entire seven years I worked at this one particular school. I had a benign and a fragile malignant narcissist in my department; our principal was also a fragile malignant narc. Such, such were the joys. One day, I met up with a pseudo-admin (paid as a teacher, but over-functioned, since fragile narc principal simply got rid of all assistant principals and made every office worker his lackey). She said that a teacher had quit that day (one of a couple of dozen) and they had no one to teach a special, extra, seventh period class. I'll do it!
I had tried for years to impress at this school, and no matter what I did, nothing worked. This story was no different. That was around third period; over-functioning pseudo admin (OFPA) said they would be by later with my materials. Lunch came, fifth period, sixth period, no materials. Finally, extra period came, no materials. I had students sign in (no roster), and we watched a movie, hoping that it would simply pass the time while materials were delivered, then we could start.
Nothing doing. Sour-faced narc principal walked in, and OFPA, not one book or workbook in hand, and asked me why students were watching a movie. You could have done this, that, the other. This simply will not do. Cannot tell you how hard I hit the wall of "no longer care" and "refuse to volunteer for anything else ever again". Punished for doing administration a solid.
Oh, and that same year I had to stand up in a faculty meeting and say, if you don't give me and teacher across the way the textbooks we need for this class, our entire school will fail inspection. And they acted like I was asking for the moon. EFF all narcs.
I work in computer software. We have a few customers that are known to complain until they get their way. I got a new boss (director level) and one of the problem customers got into his ear one Friday afternoon. The customer demanded a change to our software immediately. Of course this was a change only for them and was of no benefit to any other customers.
My new boss called me after hours on a Friday and told me that I needed to make the change and have it released by Monday morning, knowing full well that I'm on vacation the entire next week and leaving on a flight early Saturday morning.
I had to return home and make the change, then coordinate with QA to get it tested over the weekend.
This became a regular thing for this boss. Any time a customer started talking to him, it was an emergency and have to be done ASAP. After the second time it happened, I started telling him no. Fortunately, I had been with the company a very long time and I've built up a lot of good karma with a lot of upper management (his bosses). He doesn't work here anymore. I do.
I was worked in a warehouse and was promoted to a supervisor level. I wanted to do my best to improve working conditions and show a different demeanor than the other supervisors, who seemed to show disdain for the pickers/packers/shippers.
I should have known that I would not be able to change anything dictated by the warehouse manager or by corporate, but I was young and naive. I worked hard to show my team that I would work alongside them and cared about their success as much as my own. However, the manager got involved and demanded an increase in productivity. A serious increase. This would be done my watching my team like a hawk and requiring they meet stringent metrics. I was to stop by each worker, take notes on how many orders they had done and at what time, and inspect random orders for quality assessment.
I watched as some of the older workers who had been there for years struggle to keep up with the early twenty-somethings. Even the younger crew looked flustered and nervous. One lady looked so stressed and overworked, she later told me that she was really close to walking off the job. Another was almost in tears. Management did not care. They had a, "if they can't keep up, then they need to move on" attitude. Never mind that this would eventually mean losing the entire team. The job essentially became a meat grinder, probably because I was a new supervisor so they could push new rules on me and know that I wouldn't push back.
In addition to the new standards, a new expectation that we had to push through a certain amount of orders by the end of the day meant leaving when the work was done, not by the clock. This was new and not welcomed by anyone, especially the workers who had kids.
We usually ended work around 4 or 5, but one evening we lasted until almost 8 at night. Finally we could leave and I watched as my team grumbled angrily out the door. The following morning, I had several of them come up to me saying there was no way they could stay that late again because of the need to be home for their families. I apologized, explaining it wasn't my call but that I would tell the manager.
After the leaving the job entirely, I look back and think how the pickers/packers/shippers would tell me every day they hated their jobs, how the other supervisors told me they hated their jobs, and how the warehouse manager told me he hated going to work, but it's a job and it pays the bills.
All of that tells me I made the right decision to leave and to never sit by and watch management overwork people again. I wasn't a perfect supervisor, but treated my team as people rather than expendable figures with an ID number, much to management's dismay.
Working over time cause there other worker left early over b******t reason. And because other people went home and after that had no one and I suppose to leave at my set time but that didn't happen. And I stayed