Today, with the growing use of social networking sites we have come closer to the world. We see others' lifestyles and learn about their thoughts and backgrounds. Definitely once or twice (or even more sometimes) you must have come across a thought that if I had that particular thing, my life would have been a lot different.
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Money.
A social life. I never had a lot of friends, but now I mostly want to be alone in my room. I'm glad to see my few friends (they're not toxic, thankfully) but I don't want to see people all the time. My only extracurricular is Battle of the Books (not sure if that's an international thing or just in the US, but look it up!) and basically I'm an introvert. It's not really a problem now, but might be in high school/colllege.
non-toxic/fake people
At first I read the 'fake people' on its own and was wondering why the hell would you think they're lacking in your life 😄 Anyway, it can get pretty lonely when you're surrounded by fake and toxic people, and I hope soon you're able to fill your life with genuine people <3
Work/life balance. My entire life has been work focused and I'm realizing (after losing my mother in law, father in law, sister in law and my mother in less than 2 1/2 years) that I've missed out on a lot with family because I've been trying to get ahead at work.
umconfusedness, i kno this isnt a word but like my life is so complicated and confusing n ppl be telling me all the time they wanna be me but i hate me cos i live in my mind n everything looks good on the inside but it rlly aint
The socioeconomic stability to be able to enjoy life rather than trying to survive the crippling, daily dread that I will never be able to have a relaxing vacation with my family or retire.
Courage. I'm missing, courage. I don't mean measuring this against others, I mean, just for myself. For example, I've somehow talked myself into the corner that if I'm not working and I have tons of other stuff I have to do but I don't want to do any of it, the ONLY acceptable option is to read. If I try to do anything else, I feel horrendously guilty, for some reason.
Like, I recently bought a 150 piece top of the line colored pencil set. I've wanted this since I was a kid. I also bought a couple adult coloring books that I always wanted. Here I am, weeks later, and I haven't touched either of them. I haven't been writing, either. It's also been a year since I went to the library or bought anymore books for my Kindle. I'm... stuck, and I hate it.
I dug myself into this hole and it's hell trying to dig out.
I think I can relate to some of it, like making ridiculous rules for ourselves and enforcing them and punishing ourselves for no reason. Just know that you're not alone and what you are feeling is totally valid. The 150-piece colored pencil set sounds lovely! I remember having a 100-pieces set as a child and loving it so much. Even kept the box long after the pencils were gone and all the ink had dried out. I doubt an internet stranger's words will have much effect, but I really hope you begin using them soon. You definitely deserve it <3
Happiness.
And chocolate
My will to complete the assignments that have been piling up every week like crazy.
