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“Never Leave Anything On A Chair That You Wouldn’t Want To Sit On”: 35 Good-to-know Rules To Ease Your Life, As Told By The Panda Community
There are certain rules of life that are irreplaceable and can change the wholeness of living if applied to one's life. A golden rule is essentially a how-to guide that explains the best ways to live a happy and fruitful life in sync with yourself and those around you.
To help us understand what minset changes benefits in assisting one's life to be filled with positive affirmation, members of our community offered their life experiences in the form of advice.
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The way people treat you is a reflection of who THEY are, not a reflection of who YOU are.
There. I just saved you the 40 years it took me to learn it, thinking that I must be a terrible person all that time
A related one would be that sometimes when someone's nasty to you it's not because you did anything to deserve it - sometimes, they're just a jerk.
The Golden Rule. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. The older I get, the more I see in that seemingly simple cluster of words. I should admit that I stray at times, because I am human. But when we raised our children, that was our guide. It gave us patience and guidelines when we needed them, and made us better listeners. It also enabled us to comfortably admit when we had no idea what to do as parents. Instead of pretending (lying) we talked with them, listened, and ended up with a solution we could all accept.
ALWAYS hug your partner when they come home. From work, the store, whatever. Hug and reconnect physically. This actually syncs your breathing, allows you both to relax, and be happy and at peace with each other.
Always be polite to strangers especially where people serve or help you.
The best apology is changed behavior.
"You can't keep doing this! You can't keep doing shitty things and then feel bad about yourself like that makes it okay! YOU NEED TO BE BETTER."
Never take criticism from someone you’d never take advice from.
Don't be afraid to disappoint or upset people with your boundaries.
Always put your keys back in the exact same place! On a hook, in your front left pocket, in your purse. Otherwise, they could end up in the fridge or inside the couch!
72 hour rule. I tend to be very reactionary which has caused A LOT of trouble for me in the past. At one point I realized that when I calmed down and thought things thru I generally considered things from multiple perspectives and regretted my initial reaction. So I initiated the 72 hour rule. When something makes me VERY angry or upset I inform the person involved that I will not discuss it again for the next 3 days. In that time I consider the problem and follow up accordingly. Obviously there are times that 72 hours aren’t reasonable but by using this technique most of the time I’ve become much better at responding more reasonably and less defensively. It’s now to the point that the major players in my life know when I need my 3 days and several folks (including my mother... oh the irony!!) have adopted this rule!
If you're in a tight spot, your only appropriate response to sincere offers of help is "Yes, thank you". Swallow your pride and stomp on any revulsion of "accepting charity" until it stops twitching. Your best interests are served by accepting any help offered with gratitude.
Yes, and then pay it forward when you are able. Kindness is societal glue.
If you’re going to complain to someone, complain to someone who can fix it. Otherwise, don’t just complain to anyone. Everyone has their own problems, don’t add to theirs.
1. Never suffer a liar, a thief, or a cheat.
2. Take nothing but photographs, leave nothing but footprints, kill nothing but time.
3. Do what you can, where you can, when you can.
Here's mine from my English class:
The 5 Rules In My Life:
1. Always Assume Disappointment.
If you are always assuming that someone will let you down, you’ll never be disappointed. And if they don’t, you will be pleasantly surprised.
2. Always Respect Someone Until They Give You A Reason Not To.
When you meet someone new, you respect them. Until they say/do something that makes it so you don’t anymore.
3. Don’t Assume Something Is True.
If you hear something about somebody that didn’t come from the person themselves, always ask them if it is true.
4. Do What Makes You Comfortable.
Who cares what John in the deli thinks? If you like that shirt, f*****g rock it! Do whatever makes you happy, not what you think other people would like.
5. Put Yourself First.
If someone, (i.e. a friend, an S.O., a coworker) wants to do something you don’t want to do, makes you uncomfortable, is pressuring you into something, don’t listen. Listen to what you want first. You are the most important person in your life. You will always come first.
Follow these and live the best life!
i agree with everything except the first one. i'm very optimistic and tend to get over things super easily, so i usually expect the very best.
Never leave anything on a chair that you wouldn't want to sit on.
The Golden Rule. Treat others as you want to be treated. It truly makes life better.
Big decisions where the right choice isn't obvious? Have a good night of sleep. The best choice will be clearer the next day.
Or make the decision but do not act on it for a week. After a week see if that decision felt right. If so then act on it.
5 things to quit:
1. Trying to please everyone
2. Fearing change
3. Living in the past
4. Putting yourself down
5. Overthinking
Never get into car without using restroom first. Never leave the house without 'seeing' the cat. Don't want to leave her in a closed room without access to her litter box.
Yep on the cat! I do this for exactly this reason. BUT, the other day I went into my closet to get something, thought both cats were elsewhere. About 4 hours later (FOUR HOURS!), I noticed one missing cat. Opened the closet, and there she was! I felt soooo bad!
My rule is that integrity matters above all else - try to do what is right no matter how hard it is. No one is perfect, but I have found that the ability to do the right thing when no one is watching is a rare trait nowadays. It's an unpopular opinion, but I think revenge is not always the best policy, and that it perhaps says more about you than the one who wronged you first. The world has always been a mess, since the beginning, and the fact that forgiveness seems to be going out of style is a terrifying prospect. I'm not saying that you should let people walk all over you, there is absolutely a time to be firm. However, my personal rule of staying true to my morals has helped me see the good in people that I might have missed otherwise.
On the topic of forgiveness: I'm of the opinion that forgiving someone is done for yourself, not for them. Also, forgiving is not forgetting, it's letting go of the hold that the pain has over you. The process of forgiveness must also include consideration of boundaries. For example, I'm still working to forgive my ex-husband for the years of abuse he put me through, but I will never change my mind about the no-contact agreement I insisted upon.
NEVER trust anyone who believes it's OK to hit animals and/or children in the name of disciplin
Hello! I hear this one. My parents spanked me out of love, but it hurt just the same. I never spanked my children and was always honest with them about my feelings which my parents never did. They told us what they thought was best for us because they thought that was what good parents do. I don't regret doing it differently as my children did make their own mistakes but I didn't see them making the same ones I did. And only assholes would hit an animal out of discipline. My dog would clean the house and pay the bills for a bacon treat. Never a need for violence.
I actually started writing them down in a little notebook, for when I need to remind myself of one or the other. Order not necessarily according to importance.
> live and let live.
> be honest to yourself.
> say what you think and do what you say.
> value loyalty and sincerity.
> respect should be given until disrespect was earned.
> you can promise tomorrow, but you can't buy back yesterday.
> always give second chances, never give third ones.
> have good friends instead of many friends.
> family is not a free pass for forgiveness.
> give advice only when asked for.
> say no if you want to and don't make up excuses.
> take pride in yourself, don't belittle your own achievements.
> if you feel you're being taken advantage of, you probably are.
> don't let anyone question your ambition when instead they mean they mean they want you to want different things.
> apologize if you mean it. stand your point and accept the consequences if you don't.
> don't make yourself dependent on others.
> don't ask if you don't like the answer.
> better to think twice and work once than to think once and work thrice.
> always have the back of your loved ones
> don't say anything about someone that you wouldn't say to their face.
> everything you do is a coin toss. always have a plan b and c.
> better to apologize afterwards than to ask permission before.
> expect the worst and do your best and you'll rarely be disappointed.
> take what you earned, be neither wasteful nor forgoing.
> there can be reprimand without judgement
As a dad of 2 boys I'm trying to teach them some stuff:
1) Be empathetic and support the needing
2) Don't care about religion or belief, love and respect one another no matter the background (I guess this comes from legendary Kirk Douglas)
3) Trust your guts no matter what
4) Tell the truth, especially when it might hurt as these are usually the most important conversations
5) Treat and respect girls / women like you'd do with your mom / granny
3 I can't support. Guts aren't that smart often, and my guts, especially, only ever tell about the amount of food and fat in it. They don't know any else. 5 ... treat any girl/woman not only like stated, but treat them like Grandma is sitting by your bed, watching. Weirds one out, that, clearly, but may inhibit shiddy behaviour.
1. Always include what you're apologizing for in the apology. Don't just say "I'm sorry," say "I'm sorry for..."
2. If someone doesn't want to talk about something, DON'T push it.
3. If someone looks lonely, talk to them! That's how I met my best friend!
4. If you find an opportunity to do something you're interested in, DO IT! Missed opportunities can change how you live your life.
5. Be confident in your own skin! You don't have to look like an instagram model to be pretty! (Honestly, though, those people are creepy as heck.) You're perfect just how you are!
6. Most importantly, BE YOU!!! Never try to be anyone else because it's just going to make you unhappy. I believe the key to happiness is authenticity.
So there you have it. Life advice from a random 13-year-old on the internet. You're welcome. *bows*
Erk! Sorry for bad formatting, the spaces between the lines disappeared for no reason. :/
1. You can't change others, people change when they are ready. 2. People always have a reason for doing/feeling/thinking what they do, even if it's not what benefits them. And even if it's not logical to you. 3. Stand up for what you feel is right but don't be afraid to change your mind if you realize you are wrong. It's better to own up to your mistake compared to keep being wrong. 4. There is always different sides of the same story.
1. Always trust your gut instincts! Mine have ALWAYS been right.
2. Be kind and helpful to elders.. Give up your seat, help them carry stuff, help them with a door, just chat with them, they have some amazing stories, ect. You will be there someday too!
I have to help alot of elderly people to print photos as part of my job. They often apologise for being old and not knowing what to do. I always answer ...you'll know something I don't, I know something you don't, that's how it goes...it will always even out...one day I'll hope to get old, and hopefully someone will be kind enough to help me without prejudice towards being old
1. Always clean up after yourself before moving on to the next thing.
2. Be honest, especially with yourself.
3. Increase self awareness.
Don't argue with fools.
They'll drag you down to their level and whip you with experience. Same with idiots.
When shopping, pretend you're "Pin a vehicle and follow traffic rules: stay to one side, pause at intersections, etc. (easier if stores would put in traffic signals/signs!)
"Please", "Thank you", "Excuse me", and so on are the lubricants that keep human contact from becoming friction - use them!
If you wouldn't be happy if the situation or conditions were EXACTLY reversed, then it isn't "fair". Time to re-think your approach.
There are friends who just tell you what you want to hear, but true and valuable friends tell you what you need to hear. I've been told I was wrong, being dumb, crazy, etc. and I've learned to take it constructively and not be defensive or upset. I would stick close to friends like that and appreciate them. They're looking out for you and not just agreeing with you and letting you continue going down the wrong path.
This has worked well enough for this to extend into the professional environment. Every time I hear a coworker trying to be PC with their response that may be critical or against my opinions, I let them know that they don't have to beat around the bush and just be as honest as possible. I find that setting that environment helps build better relationships.
True friends will tell you things you don't want to hear because they care. True friends will play devil's advocate. I am a better person because friends hurt me rather than let me get hurt.
Do the best you can. This is about judging yourself on your effort rather than everyone else.
My Grandfather (a Choctaw elder) would gently stop me from getting frustrated when something I made wasn't perfect. "Don't worry about being perfect. Only God is perfect."
To borrow from Socrates, "a life unexamined is not worth living"
You may and you will lie, doesn't matter if you like it, but try not to lie to yourself, at least.
Honesty above truth.
Where your personal stuff is concerned, don't make many compromises.
I always:
Make my own opinions of others regardless of what others think of them. Everyone has haters. What you hear may not always be true.
Be kind. You never know what someone is going through or how a simple smile may turn someone's life around.
Life to the fullest.
Be the change you wish to see in the world.
Be yourself and love yourself.
Can we drop this internet-speak "hater"? Disagreeing or criticizing is not hating. And the people who do hate you and mean you harm are rarely that open about it.
Once a day, do something nice for someone you don't know. Call the "How did we do?" number and give positive feedback. Help someone return a cart. Hold a door open. Bring up misplaced groceries to the cashier. Small acts of kindness at least once a day.
My second rule of happiness and wellbeing:
When doing something disgusting, messy or dirty, for the love of god, keep your mouth shut ! Anything that can blow up in your face will certainly do so.
Note: this post originally had 128 images. It’s been shortened to the top 35 images based on user votes.
“Hello babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. On the outside, babies, you've got a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies-God damn it, you've got to be kind.” ― Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.
1. Don't give advice unless asked for and you are sufficiently experienced in the topic. 2. Never give instructions unless you are qualified. 3. Give your opinion if asked for. 4. Put your socks on first - they act as trouser lubricant.
My rule is called dollar store Qowat Milat. No lies, ever. The dollar store part is the fact that i just won't answer if the answer will get me in trouble. Can't lie if you don't speak XD. Of course i stray from this sometimes, but i do try my best. Its worked pretty well so far.
I live by what other people think of you is none of your business. I simply do not answer people who are bothering me. No "how do you think that's OK?" Non"please leave me alone." Just complete silence. When you have violent or dysfunctional family situations it usually means you have to leave, there is no middle ground. I also "turn off" and don't send emails or texts after q certain hour. No rumination over the past and don't be afraid to try new things even if you think you're "too old." As the saying goes, if you want something you've never had you must do something you've never done.
“Hello babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. On the outside, babies, you've got a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies-God damn it, you've got to be kind.” ― Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.
1. Don't give advice unless asked for and you are sufficiently experienced in the topic. 2. Never give instructions unless you are qualified. 3. Give your opinion if asked for. 4. Put your socks on first - they act as trouser lubricant.
My rule is called dollar store Qowat Milat. No lies, ever. The dollar store part is the fact that i just won't answer if the answer will get me in trouble. Can't lie if you don't speak XD. Of course i stray from this sometimes, but i do try my best. Its worked pretty well so far.
I live by what other people think of you is none of your business. I simply do not answer people who are bothering me. No "how do you think that's OK?" Non"please leave me alone." Just complete silence. When you have violent or dysfunctional family situations it usually means you have to leave, there is no middle ground. I also "turn off" and don't send emails or texts after q certain hour. No rumination over the past and don't be afraid to try new things even if you think you're "too old." As the saying goes, if you want something you've never had you must do something you've never done.
