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Hey Pandas, Tell Me Your Best Parenting Advice, Tips, And Tricks, Or Life Hacks
Any info to help fellow parents deal with day to day life of the wonderful, stressful and rainbow filled journey that is parenthood.
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When my son was little I always just tried to treat him like a human, not like a child. A human that needed me to keep him safe and turn him into a good person, of course, but still a human with thoughts and opinions. I always gave him choices, I always asked his opinion and let him know that he's allowed to disagree with me and not get in trouble for it. I also never understood that whole "I'm your parent so you have to respect me". Um... no, I got my son's respect by earning it just like you have to do with everyone else.
I was dating a guy once and we went out for sushi. I accidently ordered the wrong roll and I did not want to eat the one they brought me. But they took the time to make it so I ate it. It was gross. The guy said I should have sent it back because if I'm paying for a meal I should enjoy it. Fast forward some time later and he and I are at a restaurant with my son (maybe around 5 years old at the time). My son ordered pancakes with strawberries and as the waitress was walking away my son said no wait I want blueberries. I tried to call the waitress back but she didn't hear me. When she brought the food I apologized and said I'm so sorry but can you please bring us some blueberries on the side for the pancakes. She kinda rolled her eyes and the guy said that was so embarrassing and that kids should just eat whatever is put in front of them. I reminded him of the sushi incident. He just looked down at the table for the whole meal. No double standards for kids just because they're kids!
Don't say, "because I said so" kids hate that, what you give is a honest answer to why ______ and if they don't like it at least they got an answer
Oh boy where do I BEGIN. I’m not a parent or even an adult yet but I have plenty, lots from seeing my mom’s mistakes. First while spanking seems to be the “accepted” (heavy air quotes) way to physically punish, NEVER DO THIS. Especially if you spank your child to teach them not to use violence. Thankfully my mom no longer does this.
SECOND never say “STOP CRYING OR I’LL GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO CRY ABOUT!” This teaches a child that A: crying is shameful AND B: it is okay to be threatened violence. Also saying you’ll punish your child but then you do nothing. The kid then lives in constant uncertainty. Last advice for today, don’t do that “if you are not bleeding or physically hurt don’t cry!” b******t and stop teaching kids that anger is a “bad” emotion THERE ARE NO BAD EMOTIONS! This does not make them less angry, in fact it makes them develop severe anger issues from bottling their anger and tears. Sorry this was so long!
Be kind to kids as you can , hug them ,give everyone a kiss .
Explain things with the kindness and patience you would use for an adult, instead of nagging and being angry of “unwanted behavior”. The way you treat your child is the way he/she will treat others (and you).
While I don't have kids. I do have some tips from how I was raised. Don't be picky in front of the kid, there is a chance that if your kid sees mommy or daddy not eating something they too might not eat it.
don't blindly trust family members or close friends when they talk about tips or how to parent children just because 'their kids turned out fine'. make your own game plan and go through with it. don't half-heartedly try a parenting style that just doesn't work with you. i'm not a parent, or even an adult, so you can ignore this, but your kid should know what the real you is like from the very start instead of getting mixed, confusing messages
It's a constant learning experience. Be willing to change your game plan as your child changes.
If you’re driving somewhere far with your kids, tell them you know a short cut but it’s a secret so you can only go that route if they close their eyes. They usually fall asleep and you can drive in peace.
Never, ever, EVER tell a struggling parent to "enjoy every minute because they're only little once" and more importantly, NEVER laugh at them and tell them "yeah, but wait until [insert phase here]". Commiserate with them. Let them know that you remember that phase and how difficult it could be. Depending on your relationship, relating your own stories from that phase might be appropriate. But the biggest thing is to always acknowledge their frustration in the moment. It's okay not to love every minute of parenting, and it's even okay to not like your kids sometimes.
I'll go first. When my son has a sleepover anywhere, the day he comes back my husband and I use our "magic clock" meaning we put the time forward by an hour so he goes to bed 1 hour earlier because obviously when children have sleepovers they never go to bed at their normal bedtime. So when he comes home, he's always overtired, fat too hyper and all round an absolute nightmare. So we do the clock change to make sure he has an extra hour in bed to make sure he is properly rested.
I had to teach my boys how to pee standing up- I poured a cup of Cheerios in the toilet and told them to “sink them “ - when I went outside the bathroom door— it worked!!!’
The barf basket and bag.
Didn't get to finish that! Always kept some ziplocs with paper towels folded down in them in the car and in the bedrooms always at the ready. My son had cyclic vomiting syndrome !yay! for 13 years so we got pretty good at preparations! Also having a basket ready for cold/flu are great too with tissues, instant Pedialyte, paper towels, thermometer, medicine, washcloth etc. So when sh*t gets real ya just grab the basket.
I don't negotiate with terrorist, meaning a toddler who is screaming, I will not give them the thing they want no matter how loudly or long they scream, and if they keep at it I will eat that cookie right in front of them.
Lol. It not a good idea to give them what they want anyways they will do it everytime and then in the store 😭😭😭been there done that
If kid is throwing a huge tantrum let them be by there self have a calm down. Once I took care of one of my cousin boys I have three girls. He would get so upset when his dad left he would hit his head on the floor and cry. I would tell him to please stop. And I would take him to a room. And tell him calm down for a min and when you stop screaming and crying I'll let you out. I would stand by the door and listen very intently. And would calm down in like 3sec just like big humans he needed to recollect and remember angry don't get you everything. It helped him learn how to control his angry he actually stoped getting angry I would aways tell him it okay he will be back after work. To help him. He was four at the time.
I know this is crazy but I have three children and sometimes they will drive you up the wall. So I put a TV in there room so they would stay in there room more. I know I'm such bad mom for doing that lol. But I work a lot and dad stay home. And we go outside and play on nice days. And if I don't feel like it they play in the house and they actually stay in there room most of the time now.
We give our kids a snack and drink before bed. So they try to use the excuse there hungry. And I have them use the bathroom.
Baby wipes work wonders on lots of stuff and good to carry in car for accidents, and aways bring a change of cloths for all family because you never know when your kid or you. Or both of you will need them.
I try to bring food and drink to the park with us when I go.
Avoid keeping your kids responsible for your feelings, for your problems.
Avoid asking them for advice especially when they are not old enough. Asking an 11-year-old "Should I divorce daddy?" is not a good idea.
If you deprive your kids of food, affection, attention, finances, activities, for the benefit of other kids, you can only blame yourself when later your adult kids choose to avoid you, cut you off, or forget about you altogether.
Also blaming, shaming, guilt-tripping, gaslighting could probably work for a while, and maybe you would be able to exploit your kids, financially and emotionally, but they figure it out eventually.
Respect your kids, especially if you want them to stick around and/or take care of you when you get old. Lots of countries do not provide good retirement, then it would be particularly important to respect them from an early age.
It was you who brought them to this world, and being their parent, it is you who owes them - you owe them care, you owe them attention, you owe them good living conditions and opportunities.
If all this sounds difficult, please, use a condom!
Seriously watch your language around toddlers and children. My 3yo literally just said "f*****g" because i slipped and he heard me
I don't have any children of my own but, for the least 12 years I've raised my 12 year old great-niece. It really has been a challenge and admittedly, I've probably failed a few times. What I do know is this, when you as the adult make a mistake in parenting, be sure to tell your child that you were wrong. If you're honest with your child/children they will respect you more.
My main advice is to simply LOVE your child. Be patient with them. When they make a mistake, before dealing with that mistake remind yourself that you too make mistakes.
When you child asks you 'Why' over and over, ask him or her, 'Why do you think so'?
only one parent at a time is allowed to be drinking or bonging while kids are asleep.
