The more fake the better. Upvote whatever is totally stupid.
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So yesterday I was taking a walk and Elon Musk came up to me and asked me for advice on a new spacecraft design he was working on. Using my extremely limited knowledge of rocket science, I was able to help him fix the problem. He was so grateful that he invited me to his house and I got to eat dinner with him and his family. Then he let me meet the astronaut of my choice. Of course I picked Jim Lovell, so Elon (we're on such close terms that I can call him by his first name) got him to come up and we talked for a bit. Jim made me sign a napkin so he could take it home and frame it and show it to everyone. Also, Elon gave me $5,000,000 as a thank you gift.
Obviously not that close terms! Me and his closest friends just call him Rich-E.
Just the other day I was at school and ROBERT DOWNEY JUNIOR walked in and came up to me in my class. He said, "You have a pretty face. Would you be interested in being an actress?" Of course I said yes, so now I'm living it up in LA after leaving my family since they disapproved. I'm also like best friends with Zendaya now.
A few days ago, I went to Dairy Queen and they were giving out free ice cream, so I took 6, but it was way too many to hold so I called my pet fish to help me. I got home, but my fish hat eaten all of the ice cream. So please, if you ever go to Dairy Queen and get lots of free ice cream, never ask your fish to help you carry it home!!
(Well, I tried lol)
So like I was flying on my motorbike (like everyone does these days) and a pig flew up to me and started singing! The song was so beautiful that I kissed him and he turned into Justin Bieber and I was grossed out and flew away and he was so amazed at my beauty that he gave me 1,000,000,000 dollars and everyone clapped.
So I was walking home from the Empire State Building and I suddenly turned into a monkey and then a ghost pooped on my head
(I tried)
Yesterday I had a good day
I'm a sun summoner that can kill you by looking at you oh and my parents dies when I was four and I lived on my own and my mum told me to protect my one year old brother but he drowned also i have a wolf that I can pull inside my brain and when she's inside my brain I get a tattoo of a wolf all across one side of my face oh and also my best friend died when we where seven and saving a Prince form being kidnapped and killed and im a princess... Yeh I'm pretty messed up
Some guy came up to me yesterday and stole my backpack. I used my super strength to punch him, knocking him out. I went to grab my backpack but it had already gone into the 5th dimension. This is why fish fly.
So one day a cat named Jerrey decided to dip his paws in melted peanut butter and freeze them then walk around in tuna to make tuna butter edible shoes. Then his brother saw him dipping his paws and was like “BRUH WHAT THE FLIP ARE YOU DOING!!!!!” The Jerrey explained what he was doing and his brother did it too…..then every cat in the world was walking in tuna with paws covered in frozen peanut butter :)
Once upon a time there was a potato named Jim one day he turned all of his family members into mashed potatoes and it turned everyone in the world and a mashed potatoes and sold them to fellow mashed potatoes then he found a few survivors and turn them into gravy then he became a cannibal and decided to eat all the potatoes and gravy because why not
I woke up in my beach house, went to the balcony to enjoy the best sunrise, wondering if I should go sailing or hiking.
I decided on hiking, on the way I dropped by a dog shelter for regular chats and plays with my furry buddies and to deposit ten thousand dollar cheque to keep them well until my next visit, and the cheque amount would be smaller and smaller because more and more of them would be adopted by loving families.
