297views
Hey Pandas! I Sit With A Homophobic And Anti-Mask Person At Lunch. What Should I Do About Her? (Closed)
No, I cannot move lunch tables. She was very rude to me on several occasions and I’ve had a long-standing grudge with her for a while. Any tips on how to make her stop/possibly dispose of her? Thank you!
This post may include affiliate links.
Bring your headphones and listen to music or a podcast, and just smile at her. You don't have to explain anything to her, you don't owe her anything other than politeness. If she crosses that line, report her.
Here are some ideas: report her to teachers. Make friends with other non-homophobic and science believers. Ignore her like if she’s air. Bring a book to your lunch so you won’t have to interact with her. Tell her straight up without sugarcoating ‘You know what? You are the biggest piece of garbage I have ever seen. And that’s an insult to garbage’ sort of thing, maybe a little more respectful. If all else fails, eat your lunch elsewhere, like in the bathroom or something. I hope this helped!
It depends on where are you? Is it like at school? Does that person refuse to wear a mask or attacks you with homophobic comments? Or is she just stupid?
If she attacks you I would talk to the teachers if you are in school or HR if you are at work. If she is just being stupid but leaves you alone I think that the best thing is ignore her; if she addresses you tell her that is is wrong and her comment is stupid and go back to not engaging.
Yea, it's at school. And she does refuse to wear a mask properly, but alas, she is just stupid. thx for the ideas!
Scare the s**t out of that bitch. It's what I always do when someone acts like a s**t. I usually dress pretty punk, but I go full biker when I'm pissed off. I'm talking studs on every item of clothing.
Any tatts or piercings, accentuate them, wear offensive clothes, combat boots and wallet chains. Offend her. Draw from the 70s punk movement. Always works for me.
Glare like she just ripped one and blamed it on the dog. Make her fear you. Be quiet, dark, and when you do talk, channel John Bender.
At lunch, sit like you couldn't give a s**t about "respect" and cut an apple with a penknife you pulled out of your boot. If she says anything to you, smirk like the devil and give her a dismissive chuckle.
Constantly chew toothpicks. Wear punk makeup. Don't show any emotion and NEVER let her see she's gotten to you.
alrightyyyyyyyy thank you I will definitely try the "I don't give a s**t about being polite to you" tactics!
Well homophobia is usually a “learnt” opinion, it’s likely her parents have influenced her. She needs educating and her mind opening to viewing a different perspective . This will only be achieved by becoming her friend and gently planting seeds. You need to be genuine, and have respect for her opinions and try to see her viewpoint too. Only when you can see her viewpoint first will she be able to be open to seeing your viewpoint too.
Secondly anti-mask is a fear based response. If the thought of a deadly virus is too much for the mind to handle it will reject it. It’s likely that she finds comfort in the “fact” that covid “isn’t real” and “can’t harm her” etc. To alleviate her fears and get her to question her own thoughts and ideas you need to gently and again, respectfully, enquire about her opinions. When someone actually talks through their thoughts and hears them out loud they can sometimes trigger a “hang on, I’m not sure I fully believe this” type thinking. Don’t try and cram your opinions down her throat, just listen to her out. Gain her trust and when she is ready she will be open to hearing your opinions too.
Some of my best friendships have come from people I initially despised!
Give her a lgbtq+ book for dummies maybe? Or something along that line. Some sort of easy to understand reading that’s makes learning fun also.
Ohhhh this is at school!!!
Ok, there are a few options. I'm guessing your a relatively "normal" person so you're not going to want the sociopath options.
1) Just ignore them completely. (bit boring in my opinion)
2)Try to reasonably explain your views and your reasons for having them. If it starts to get heated, just say 'if you don't want a mature discussion, I'm done.' Then revert to option 1.
3) Start with option 2, but when things get heated be sure to express your freedom of speech in telling them how selfish, inconsiderate and downright stupid they are. Remember personal insults are only valid if they relate to the opponent's personality (Appearance, wealth, and background are off limits). Also, swear like an Irish person*
4) Ask whoever is responsible for organising the lunchbreaks if they could 'consider moving you to prevent future conflict'.
5) Go straight for aggression. As you're sitting down say, 'I'm not putting up with any of your s**t today, I've had enough! Test me and you'll be wearing both our lunches!'. (Obviously if you choose this option, you have to be willing to follow though. A very fast, very aggressive attack is almost always poorly defended and the conflict is usually over pretty quickly).
*For clarity, swearing for the Irish is a form expression and has been for hundreds of years. It is used mostly for emphasis, where you might say 'there was a REALLY big dog' or 'there was a HUGE dog', an Irish person might say something like, 'there was a big f**k-off dog'. You might also hear and Irish person say things like, 'he's not dumb, he's f*****g dumb!'. Just remember to point out if you are talking to an idiot, or a fecking idiot!
Find another friend group to sit with. Keeping yourself safe is important. Bit always be yourself and stand up for what you believe.
As long as you wear your mask around them and don't purposefully provoke them I think you should be alright. They're trying to get a reaction out of you when they're rude and getting one encourages them. If you ignore them it will discourage the behavior and probably make it less likely to happen in the future.
Just ignore her. Unless she sits with others like her, you're the majority here.
Just ignore her. Unless she sits with others like her, you're the majority here.
