Whether you get heartbroken because the kid you like is dating your friend, or you broke up, or anything even slightly related to heartbreak, how did you recover? Help a Panda out who is suffering from heartbreak, please.
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Just trying to remember that it won't hurt like this forever. A friend of mine had dealt with excruciating physical pain for years as a result of a car accident, and sometimes people would ask how she dealt with it and she would always say "I just have to tell myself it won't hurt like this forever. There will be a point where it stops. I just have to get to that point." If she can do it with physical pain, we can do it with emotional pain, too. You just have to want to get there. You WILL get to a point where you aren't so angry. You WILL get to a point where you move on. You might even get to a point where you have to think hard to remember why you ever cared so much. And most importantly, you will get to a point where you realize it was probably for the best since it was clearly not working out, and may have ended even worse if it had dragged on. Try to think of all of the positives that not being with that person anymore will bring. If you'd been fighting a lot, now you have less stress. And you're now open to having new people in your life. You can do what you want. Take what you learned from this relationship and give it to someone new who will benefit from your experience. Learn from mistakes.
"You might even get to a point where you have to think hard to remember why you ever cared so much. And most importantly, you will get to a point where you realize it was probably for the best since it was clearly not working out, and may have ended even worse if it had dragged on." --> YES!
I cry a lot.
I'm sad to hear about the heartbreak(s), and I'm glad you can cry. I just can't bring myself to cry. Doing it is almost impossible for me.
Leave. leave them alone. dont try to keep talking to them. dont underestimate how hard it is to "just be friends." get away from them and cry it out.
What if the person just will not let you ignore them? Part of my problem is that he just doesn't get the point that I want some me time, and I'm still partly clinging.
My twin sister passing away in my arms from cancer. We were the only two left of our family and I had to mourn alone.
Oh, AnnaB, I’m so very, very sorry. This is one of the saddest things I’ve ever read.
depends. From moping to a serious breakdown I've had it all. I don't get attached to someone easily but when I do I DO.
Now I've been single for a few years and I don't intend to open up to anyone in such a way ever again, and I must say I feel better being single than I have in my relationships.
Being single has so much going for it…I finally stopped having romantic relationships in my 30s, and it was one of the best decisions I have ever made!
Not very well. In 2016, I met a wonderful guy. We were on the same wavelength with just enough differences to compliment each other. He really "got me" as no one else ever has, and I believe he felt the same. We both said we felt like family from the start. Due to a difficult set of circumstances, it ended after four months. Not because either of us wanted it to, but just due to things being extremely complicated. I was despondent and heartbroken. I cried myself to sleep every night for eight months before it finally got so bad that I told my doctor, and she prescribed antidepressants and anti-anxiety medication. I had never needed them before, and the antidepressants didn't work. They just made my anxiety worse. I found the anti-anxiety medication more helpful. In my situation, all I could do was trudge forward. All the "Get right back in the saddle" stuff doesn't work for me. I never knew why until I was reading about unusual personality types. In addition to being an INFJ on the Briggs personality test (which basically means I'm introverted and intuitive, that I make decisions more on what my heart tells me than what logic tells me, but that I'm also able to be fair and unbiased, balancing between what my heart tells me and what I know to be true and real), I'm also a 'demi-sexual'. This means that I can only be with someone I love deeply and have an emotionsl connection with who feels the same about me. I never understood women who coiuld get right back out there with a guy, or several guys, and have casual sex after a major breakup. I always thought they were really heartbroken and suicidal like I was, but that they were just better at hiding it. I was shocked to find out that other women don't just "go along to get along" with a man in order to find someone to marry or spend their life with. They actually want sex with men even if they don't know them well or feel a deep connection to them. That brings to the Empath thing. I am able to actually feel the emotions of someone I'm very close with, even if we're miles away from each other. I always knew how his day had gone without speaking to him all day, and was able to literally feel how his day had gone, somewhat similar to what twin siblings sometimes do. You can imagine, this just made things all the worse. So, if you are like me, all you can do is go forward. I'll never get over him, and I know I'll never be married, because no one else can measure up to him. I'll will never get to a place where I'll wonder how I ever cared so much. I even wear wedding/engagement rings on my left hand. Not because I feel he and I are married, I'm not delusional. But simply to acknowledge to myself that I found my soul mate, and hope that in some other life we will be, or are, together. I know how that sounds. I'm used to people misunderstanding me and thinking I'm a bit weird and even delusional. But I've realized that I'm not. I'm just 'differently oriented' from other people in my thinking and emotions. I also advise, in addition to accepting and making peace with your heartbreak, that you watch poignant love stories like 'If I Stay', 'The Fault In Our Stars', and even the 1980s movie 'Endless Love', based on the book of the same name which starred a very young Brooke Shields. It helps to feel that your not alone in your sadness. That someone else out there is feeling the same emotions and going through the same thing you are, although I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. Also, ladies, get yourself a "personal massager" I know it sounds crass and distasteful, and I hated it, but that was the only way to take care of the physical longing I had since I couldn't go out and find some random guy to have a meaningless encounter with. I'm not putting down women who can do that. I'm sure their emotional well-being is way better than mine. I just can't. It makes me literally, physically, nauseated. As if I have some sort of allergic reaction to sex without love, which I guess I do in a way.
I'm also demi and recently came out as bi. I know exactly what you mean about that. I have to be connected with someone before I even think about dating. It is not light. I'm sorry to hear how your breakup happened and you had to lose someone you loved.
Whenever I have had a relationship or friendship break-up, I don't get angry with the thought of, "UGH! What a waste of [insert # of months / years]!" I think, "They're a good person. I'm a good person. We just weren't good together." And chalk it up to part of my life experience. This perspective has helped me to appreciate the good memories, learn from the reasons it ended, let go without animosity, and retain a hopeful optimism in what's to come.
Distraction through dr*gs and d*cks. But that's NOT an advice. 😂
Cry and move on. "Being friends" does. Not. Work. Bow out gracefully, find something new to do (hobbies, etc) find someone you are more compatible with.
First I’m gonna need to define “Heartbreak.”
My advice for heartbreak in getting friendzoned or rejected:
Okay. “Staying friends” does not work, except for a few random exceptions. Move on, unless you guys have a lot of chemistry. You can stay friends if you want to. Also, you won’t be able to do anything with the rejection, you can’t change their mind. Confide in people. They can comfort you. The other best thing to do is to make new friends, find other people. There’s millions of guys out there.
My advice for heartbreak as in losing a loved one:
Okay. So I’ve experienced this before (along with getting friendzoned/rejected), so here’s the best advice I can give. Don’t go it alone. My dog was run over by a car about seven months ago, and he was the closest friend I had, we had adopted him when I was one year old. When I lost him, talking to my parents and friends helped a ton. Another thing you can do is give it time. The last stage of grief is Acceptance, and with time, that will come. Give it time and you’ll come to terms with your loss.
Best wishes, and I hope you’ll feel better.
I’d like to add something. CRYING IS OKAY. Cry. Cry a lot. Unless it’s a rejection. If it’s a rejection, crying a little is okay I guess, but there’s always more people.
Cry.
Scream.
Breakdown.
Think.
Call someone.
Rant.
Make fun of that person.
Move on.
Remember them.
Cry.
Move on.
When my parents passed away I had to remind myself that I wasn't the only one grieving. I had to be there for my children and help fill that void. I have been blessed with amazing friends of the family that have since stepped into the role of grandparents for my mini and mega munchkins and further blessed in having someone to lean on when the memories of what was overwhelms.
My grandparents are the reason I made it to adulthood. I had a horrible childhood, and my young adulthood was very challenging as well. But I couldn’t bear the thought of them crying over their first grandchild’s suicide. By the time my grandfather died, I had already been diagnosed with Seasonal Affective Disorder, was on medication that helped keep me on something that’s close enough to an even keel to count. My grandparents loved me so completely that I kept living so that I could get a hit of unadulterated, unconditional love.
I print a picture of his face and throw darts at it. Then i go buy ice cream with my girlfriends
Packaged or scooped? What are your favorite flavors? Ice cream is a good reason to stay alive! [I just asked these two questions to the person who is currently right below you, but I assume you two won’t give me the same answers.]
Genuine heartbreak I mask up. Adopt a happy smiley face as usual, on the surface appear to be as 'normal' as possible but the hardest bit of a genuine heartbreak is what happens when you're on your own and you start thinking about it. That's the time when you need distractions, lots of them (and I can honestly say I've only experienced this twice - once over being forced to move away from a town I loved, and once when my Nan died - never over a relationship because dang, there really are plenty more fish in the sea)
I walk away. I never look back. Life is too short and it's too amazing to waste on drama.
I had many heartbreaks im not kidding i cried for 2 days then I knew that if i kept doing that i would be deppresd forever so just move on and find someone just for you
I wrote some really... aggressive... songs. My ex broke up with me bc she didn't know if she liked girls or not. 5 days later I meant nothing, so I wrote some songs with my BFF. I'm working on the music tracks and I'm hoping to release the music sometime this year.
I'm a songwriter too. I wish you good luck with your music tracks being released!
My best friend and are always there for each other, so one of us is going through something, the other one will try to comfort and cheer up the other.
Lean on family and friends for support and talk with them for advice or just listen. And if need be, shed a few tears. But somehow, find the inner strength to move on best you can.
Grieve. Acknowledge your pain. Take your time to heal in the best way possible for you.
With work and family, it becomes overwhelming. Finding time for yourself is difficult, much less to grieve and heal.
If you need additional strength, reach out to someone. Be it your closest ones or a professional.
Prioritize yourself.
Since August ‘21 my life has been full of heartbreaking situations. Big sister spent 100+ days in coma from Covid. She is home finally but she’s changed. She’s not the sharp witted, 20 steps ahead in thinking big sis. She doesn’t even sound right bc her vocal cords were crushed. My mom, who has always been my biggest cheerleader and support, died unexpectedly in September (while big sister was in coma). My brother is in hospice for end stage renal cancer. It has seemed as if every week since January he has been ‘on his last days’. It’s been a veritable roller coaster of anxiety, anticipation, and dread. My little sister’s husband died from a heart attack. Her autistic daughter has been inconsolable and angry causing so much extra stress and grief on my sister. My husband, son , mother in law, and myself all had Covid in January. Hubby, MIL, and I all were in hospital at least a week. And on top of all of this I’ve been running a low grade fever for almost a year with no diagnosis from various specialists.
What’s helped me besides the normal prayer, journaling, talking to friends and therapist?
Musicals. Les Miserables, West Side Story, Newsies, Hamilton, Oklahoma to name a few. There is so much pathos and life in each of them. Victories, heart aches, love gained and lost, heroes and villains. I feel as if each gives me a specific place to let my emotions out. When Eliza and Alexander Hamilton lose their son; tears run down my face and my grief is expended. When Fontaine is trying her hardest to find ways to care for Cosset; my grief can be focused on something else, but still able to be expressed. I have so much hurt and loss right now, if I let myself cry unfocused, I spiral down into dark thoughts and fear. Allowing myself a specific place/activity to express emotions has kept my mental health in check.
