Remember our promise to deliver an article dedicated to each possible topic of puns? Well, we are continuing our quest, and while we should have done this one way earlier, let us fix this horrible blunder now by presenting you with our list of the best, the most adorable, and funniest Harry Potter jokes and puns!
Most of these Harry Potter memes, funny yet cute, are there just to make you snicker in remembrance of the events in the books or the characters you might’ve forgotten; you might have a hard time incorporating them into your everyday chats. But if you do figure out a way to sneak them in, then we must congratulate you for being the most determined Potterhead there ever was!
Of course, some of these wizard puns and Harry Potter memes, clean and funny, are a bit more universal, and you can use them even in a professional environment without anyone really noticing it. Except for you, of course, quietly giggling at your own ingenuity, that is. Every day is a good day with a Harry Potter pun in it!
Funny Harry Potter Memes & Harry Potter Puns for Witches & Wizards
To cater to the hilarious needs of diverse Potterheads, we have collected puns for all. From Harry Potter jokes for kids to the funniest Harry Potter memes, we are here to amuse Potterheads of all ages.
So, without any more talks, why don’t you scroll below and check out the hilarious memes, Harry Potter and his Wizarding World related, that we’ve found? There’s probably no need to tell you that they are just a smidgen down below because they are usually there. Where else would they be, am I right?
Once you are there, though, don’t forget to give these silly and funny Harry Potter jokes your vote and share this article with anyone who’s into the Wizarding World - the best world of them all!
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Why does Voldemort prefer Twitter over Facebook?
Because he has followers, not friends.
Poor Potter cannot tell the difference between his potion’s pot and his best friend because they are both cauldron!
I’m trying to write a book about Platform 9 and 3/4. But I keep hitting a wall.
What type of shoes does Voldemort wear?
Horcrocs!
If the Dark Lord wore crocs, not even Bellatrix would have spend one minute with him...
Harry Potter movies should be rated R for the huge amount of cursing.
I thought my roommate was joking when he said Gary Oldman was in the Harry Potter movies.
He was dead Sirius.
Why is Mad-Eye such a bad professor?
Because he can’t control his pupils.
If a wizard gets robbed by a Muggle, has he been Muggled?
Where would Bellatrix play if she played the saxophone?
Jazzkaban.
🎶🎶-awful sax playing coming from Bellatrix’s cell-🎶🎶 next door cellmate says “ EY! Stop that playing it will get us all killed by death eaters! You know what.. keep playing”
What did the comedian say to Harry Potter?
Why so Sirius?
Why do Azakaban inmates have fresh breath?
Because of de-mentoes.
Wait… If they use De-mentors wouldn’t they just be having a dementors kiss which kills them!?
Why doesn’t Voldemort have glasses?
Nobody nose.
it must be hard to wear them if he needs them because he is like a snake.
"Harry, your godfather is dead.”
“Are you serious?!?”
“Yep. Dead Sirius.”
On Monday I cannot function without my Espresso patronum.
Some call it expresso patronum and accidentally teleport their animal to platform 9 3/4.
Why was Voldemort trying to listen to the Order of Phoenix meetings?
He was nosy!
How does the head of Gryffindor see when swimming?
She uses McGonagoggles.
What do you call multiple potions teachers?
Several Snapes!
Why did Barty Crouch stop drinking Butterbeer?
It made him Moody.
Do they mean Polyjuice Potion? Except then it wouldn’t really even be a joke, it’d be…true. I think I just ruined the joke. Sorry.
I found the first four Harry Potter books to be quite light-hearted.
The fifth one was dead Sirius.
What’s the difference between a comma and Crookshanks?
Crookshanks has claws at the end of his paws, and a comma is a pause at the end of a clause.
How do Hogwarts students get down a hill?
Walking… J.K. Rowling.
Why did the protons vote for Harry Potter to be president?
Because they didn’t want to elect Ron.
How do Malfoys enter a building?
They Slytherin.
What do you call two wizards who share a dorm?
Broom-mates.
What’s a dementors theme song?
“You take my breath away.”
“You take my breath away, I’m gonna kill you one day, it’s so fun to suck the life and soul out of prisoners 🎶🎶
Why did Harry Potter get stopped for speeding?
Because he didn’t expect-no-patrol man.
Okay, I like a pun as much as the next person, but this was Donald Duck level.
Why do you never see dementors in Starbucks?
They can’t stand espresso patronum!
Looks like Starbucks stands to make a bit of money if they come up with the new Espresso Patronum
Which Harry Potter book is the darkest?
Order of the Phoenix because that’s when it gets dead Sirius.
What is the difference between a wizard and a spelling bee contestant?
One conjures spells and the other spells conjure.
I know I’m taking this too Sirius-ly (oh God, I’m infected), but you don’t realize conjure spells, do you? You cast spells, you conjure spirits and whatnot.
How does Harry Potter end an argument?
He slams the Gryffindor!
The way she speaks and looks at people, there is something myst-sirius about her.
Why was Harry Potter in trouble at school?
Because he made fun of someone on Snape Chat.
Why did Harry Potter get detention?
Because he was cursing in class.
What cereal do they serve at Hogwarts?
Hufflepuffs.
Why was everyone avoiding Hermione?
She was Grangerous.
What do you call the common cold when Ron Weasley gets it?
A ginger ail.
What did Percy say when he saw the dirty swimming pool?
Penelope, Clearwater!
Which Hogwarts professor makes the best wine?
Severus Grape.
Why couldn’t Harry find Hermione?
He was looking in the Ron places.
How does the headmaster get into Hogwarts?
Through a Dumble-door!
Why did Snape throw away so many potions?
They were past their hex-piration date!
Which Hogwarts teacher gets the blame?
Professor Snape-Goat.
You have to admit, he’s looking a little Hagrid.
Why was Sirius banned from Hogwarts?
For black magic.
There are Severus factors you need to consider when fighting Voldemort.
Why do wizards lock their doors at night?
They’re afraid to get muggled.
Maybe change the setting? I’m worried about burglars and people who want to “just pop round” to visit without prior warning when I’m home, not muggers.
Why is Fred not going into the Chamber of Secrets?
He's a-Fred!
What do Hogwarts students give their dogs to change their coat colour?
Collie-juice potion.
I kept knocking at your dumble-door, but you did not answer.
From what all I know about you, all I can say is that you are a riddikulus person.
You don’t find Harry Potter funny?
There is something Ron with you!
Why was Ron shown the Dumbledore?
He kept making terrible Potterpuns.
But of curse, magic is hard.
Which Hogwarts student would help you learn how to play Quidditch?
I think Oliver Wood.
I was gonna be like "duh" what's punny about this, but then I realised that there actually was a joke
Do you like Harry Potter?
Because I a-Dumbledore you!
How do Hogwarts students go on field trips?
They take the Albus!
What do you call someone who is half transfigured into a cat?
Purr-people.
You can go there alone but make sure that there is no Granger.
Spells come in all Snapes and sizes.
What’s Harry Potter’s motto?
Neville, give up!
What do you call the entrance to a magical gym?
A dumbbell door.
You are siriusly ridiculous if you do not like Harry Potter.
It is high time that you should start taking magic severus-ly.
Where can you find Dumbledore’s Army?
Up his sleeve-y!
Owl ask the questions in this potions class.
All I really wand to do is go to Hogwarts.
It’s hard to Flitwick a car into your purse without magic.
I don’t even get this one. Edit: Oh, wait. Is it “fit”? [crickets]
You might have a Helena of a time being a Ravenclaw.
Did you hear that were going to make an entire book about Harry Potter’s godfather?
They ended up axing it, they thought it would be too Sirius!
What is bigfoot’s favorite book?
Hairy Potter.
When I went to her place, she made a potter tea.
It looked okay from outside but it was a ganger-ous place.
Why did Luna get Hagrid's signature?
She is a giant fan.
I chant get enough of Harry Potter.
The book is just so charm-ing. (sorry but the above joke was bad so i made up for it)
Don’t just Sprout out the answer in divination.
You’re in for a Severus talking to if you haven’t read Harry Potter.
What type of music does Hagrid like?
Hinky-punk.
You must remain quietus while I am speaking.
A Punny Potterverse
We bet that this punny compilation was just what your Potterhead souls needed at this moment. We hope this list of magical humor made you think back about your favorite scenes and characters from the books and movies and reminisce about those times. Have you made this your unofficial Wizarding World joke guide yet? Let us know in the comments!
