There are so many things we wish our children would grow up knowing. However, separating the wheat from the chaff, the wisdom from the illusions is always a tough thing to do. And some things that our kids end up learning do more harm than good, don’t you think, dear Pandas?

Well, the parents of Reddit have been pitching in and sharing their takes on what harmful things are being taught to children in a viral thread over on r/AskReddit. From advice on how we should always be double-checking information to embracing failure instead of running away from it, some of these tips and tricks are spot-on and help kids grow into healthy, happy adults. (And don’t tell anyone this, but some of us adults could use a handful of these tips, too.)

Have a read through them below and upvote the ones you agree with. Got any additional tips on what things children should and shouldn’t be taught? Be sure to share your thoughts with all the other Readers in the comment section.

I reached out to Lenore Skenazy to learn more about how to overcome the passive mindset that kids are taught to embrace in school and to be actively driven by curiosity into adulthood. Lenore is the founder of the Free-Range Kids movement and the president of Let Grow, a nonprofit organization that fights overprotection, promotes independence, and makes kids ‘future-proof.’ and the founder of the Free-Range Kids movement. You’ll find her insights that she shared with Bored Panda below, dear Readers.

#1

Little girls get told all the time that boys are bullying them because they like them

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Aurelia!
Community Member
2 months ago

yeah its stupid

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#2

Boys don't cry.

Let the damn boys cry

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Aurelia!
Community Member
2 months ago

LET THEM CRY!

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#3

Making children hug or kiss someone (usually a relative) that they are uncomfortable with is not good. The child may just be grumpy and or not wanting to show affection or their warning bell sensors could be going off and they do not know how to communicate that. Plus forcing them to hug/kiss sends mixed messages about personal/physical boundaries and affection itself

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monsa8
Community Member
2 months ago

This is so true. Spot on!

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Modern schooling, if left to its own devices, generally has the unwanted effect of making kids far more passive than we’d like them to be. School tends to reward following orders and compliance more than independence, active curiosity, and drive. And that’s an issue that can have far-reaching consequences, one of which is the fear of doing what you want or trying new things.

“When a seventh-grade teacher friend of mine asked her students—aged 12 and 13—what new things they wanted to do on their own, but were still a little hesitant to try, the responses were rather shocking to me,” Lenore, the founder of Let Grow and the Free-Range Kids movement, shared with Bored Panda.

“One kid wanted to walk the dog—but was afraid it would get off the leash. Another said he wanted to go to the store—but he’d never been inside one without his mom, and he was worried about being surrounded by strangers. A few said they wanted to take a bike ride or even climb a tree, but they were afraid of hurting themselves.”

#4

What to think instead of how to think

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lenka
Community Member
2 months ago

Yes!

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#5

That they shouldn't question an adult

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Aurelia!
Community Member
2 months ago

YES if we don't question adults, oppressive systems will stay THE SAME we will just pass them down and never make any progress.

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#6

That failure is bad. Failing should not be considered as an obstacle but a step in the learning process. Demonizing the failure and stigma associated with it makes many children lose their interest once they fail.

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Aurelia!
Community Member
2 months ago

EMBRACE THE FAILURE

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Lenore explained that “our catastrophizing culture” has scared parents so much, they’re anxious about letting their kids do pretty much anything and everything. While there are exceptions, of course, many parents veer sharply towards being overprotective and overbearing because they fear for their munchkins’ safety.

Ironically, the result is the opposite of what they want. “The result is not safety, it’s anxiety—kids who absorbed the message that everything is too much for them to handle. When you’re anxious, a simple slip-up doesn’t seem so simple. It seems huge—even life-threatening. How can you avoid those awful threats? That part is simple,” Lenore detailed. “You avoid doing anything.”

Doing nothing is exactly what the seventh graders that Lenore mentioned up above ended up doing. That fear spread to other parts of their life in the classroom, from taking tests (“what if they got a bad grade?”) to asking the teacher which side of the page they should write their name on (“they wouldn’t dare just choose their own!”).

#7

Nobody cares about children’s/teens issues. “Well it’s only going to get worse from here”. “You think school is hard? Have you ever paid a f**king bill” “You’re just a kid you can’t feel this way”.

It breeds an emotional disconnect from parents and their kids. And makes kids feel alone in their emotional struggles, that nobody cares because they’re not adults and they don’t have “Adult Problems”.

Fantalitymlp Report

Toko Danganronpa
Community Member
2 months ago

Exactly. People often have bad assumptions of teenagers, but they have myriads of issues they don't talk about.

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#8

It seems like forcing kids to eat everything off their plate is pretty harmful, it doesn't matter if they're full, they have to clean off their plate and they can't leave the table until they do

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Erihapeti Swampwitch
Community Member
2 months ago (edited)

I agree, this doesn't allow children to self regulate and know when they are full. It me years to unlearn this behavior.

Mia Hamsa
Community Member
2 months ago

Our pediatrician said to us early on "If the sum of the week feels healthy, then your kid is doing ok so long as you avoid sodas and processed sweets and junk food. So let her have the potatoes only, next time she will have the meet, and then she will have the fruit. Make it available, they will get there"

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Tomas Holicka
Community Member
2 months ago

There is a difference. Always let the children decide what and how much they want to eat but once they put it on their plate, they have to finish. After a couple of tries they learn cause and effect, they learn not to waste food, they learn that if they just want to try something, they should scoop up a little bit.

Aurelia!
Community Member
2 months ago

Yes. Speaking as someone with an eating disorder, we need to promote healthy relationships with food early on.

Jill
Community Member
2 months ago

Agreed...even today after having had surgery to get my obesity under control, I still have problems not eating something in it's entirety. This is so ingrained into me due to a financially strict upbringing and has caused so much anxiety.

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MAX THOMPSON
Community Member
2 months ago

Punished edward, i advise you stop commenting so that you don't hit rock bottom in points.

angie but who cares
Community Member
2 months ago

he's got what almost negitive 2000 now?

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Rissie
Community Member
2 months ago

To Edward, who's comment disappeared, no it does not work. Learning to listen to your body's bmneeds us important. If you don't want them stuffing their faces with s**t, don't buy it.

Honu
Community Member
2 months ago

Yep. My parents did encourage us to try everything, but we weren't forced to eat food. Usually, we just ate what they made without a fuss. If we really didn't want it and were still hungry, we could go grab something else (they weren't taking custom orders), but there wasn't junk food in the house. My dad had been raised in a "clean your plate" family and had wanted to do that with us so we would learn to like eating our veggies. My mom pointed out to him that he still hated veggies, so we tried it her way. My sibling and I love our veggies. A great way to imprint something negative on a kid's brain for life is to make it a battleground.

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lenka
Community Member
2 months ago

Yeah. It has literally taken me years to teach myself that I dont have to eat everything on my plate - even when I am full and struggeling to eat it, I still have to fight the urge to empty my plate. We dont force the kids to eat everything on thier plate either. We offer them a healthy variety and let them self regulate. They are perfectly healthy.

Eslamala
Community Member
2 months ago

It's not black and white. I don't think forcing food on anyone, especially a kid, actually works, but as parents we do have to teach them how to eat, and part of that is finding a way to motivate them to try new things. Even if it's just a bite. If you try it and don't like it, I don't mind, but assuming you don't like it just because is something I never let my children do.

Nadine Debard
Community Member
2 months ago

Yes, it's OK to say "just try a bite". But not to force the kid to eat all the plate (even if it depends on how old they are and if they filled their plate themselves). And for people who want to teach them how to eat, make them participate to the meal preparation. This is the best way to make them want to try.

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Hans
Community Member
2 months ago

Letting kids clean the plate is working on the symptoms, not on the cause. Kids need to learn to develop healthy eating habbits. Starting with very small portions of everything is typically working very well. Moreover, they learn a lot by example. Parents who eat only the fries followed by a huge dessert cannot expect their children to be happy about a mere load of veggies.

Iapetos
Community Member
2 months ago

My father always told me as a little kid that I only have to eat as much as I want. I'm a very healthy eater and a vegetarian now.

Stephanie IV
Community Member
2 months ago

Don’t make food a battleground with your kids. They learn YOUR eating behavior no matter how you fight about eating up. This has worked for my kid: whenever he said he didn’t like something I cooked I took it away without any discussion or anger and offered buttered or dry bread instead. When he said he was full I immediately cleared the food away, no discussion, no anger. No pleading EVER. No guilt tripping EVER. EVERRRRRRR.

August Martin
Community Member
2 months ago

My parents talked about a family they know who deos that. They just set the food in front of them the next meal if they don't eat it. One kid didn't eat for three days.

Lauren Caswell
Community Member
2 months ago

That's exactly what I would get, and how I responded (didn't eat)

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JennyLaRue
Community Member
2 months ago

As an adult I've had to actively un-learn this behaviour in order to help address an unhealthy relationship with food. Children should be taught to stop when they are full instead of continuing to eat.

Christina Uhlir
Community Member
1 month ago

It is not a good way to teach children NOT to waste food. Please give your children smaller portions, and give them more food only if they ask for more.

Anxiety
Community Member
2 months ago (edited)

This is a valid point, sometimes a person just can’t eat something. For a minor example, I can’t eat squash or anything that resembles squash. Or I can, just after bumps appearing on my skin, shivers running down my back, tears welling up and the need to gag or bring it back up. And it’s not because of anything besides the texture, I can handle the taste, I can eat the rind, but the middle part with the seeds and gunk I can’t do. But every time this happens people just say I’m overreacting. I have high tolerance for many things, but squash makes me feel sick just looking at it. Same thing just no gagging happens when I eat something where the sauce from another food mixes.

Nikki Sevven
Community Member
2 months ago

When my daughter was young, my rule was that she had to try three bites, chewed and swallowed. After that, if she didn't like it, I didn't make her eat it. We would try again in a year when her palette matured a bit. In the meantime, I'd just make another vegetable for her, since there were plenty she did like.

Octavia Hansen
Community Member
2 months ago

Forcing is NEVER a good idea . . . but . . . tasting should be okay. Doesn't matter if they will never eat squash again, but my parents made us taste 1 bite. How do they know they don't want sweet potatoes until they taste? And kids need to learn that EVERY MEAL DOES NOT have to end in a dessert!

Kendra Miller
Community Member
2 months ago

I would be fine with my kids not finishing their dinner. Simply pack it up for lunch tomorrow. Nice healthy lunch ready to go.

Chenandoa
Community Member
2 months ago (edited)

If the child claims it is disgusting...listen! Autistic, ADHD, or sensory processing disorder children can sometimes actually feel or GET sick just because of a a texture or flavor...I have ADHD, and some things will actually prevent me from swallowing it's so gross...like oily things (hush puppies, deep fried onion rings, etc). Sometimes if bread was in my mouth too long, or if i was eating a sweet, and have suddenly eaten too much sugar.

Lazy Panda
Community Member
2 months ago

Yeah I also have ADHD and that is true

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Antz Online
Community Member
2 months ago

Maybe teach them not to waste, and dish out as much as you can eat, you can always have seconds instead of throwing good food away

Paradise
Community Member
2 months ago

YES, appropriate serving size. Both our kids serve themselves often. Some kods, especially littles, need help understanding they don't do 5 scoops of broccoli if they knly want one. My rule has been - serve yourself you eat it. I serve and it is too much, OK no worries. But when they pour too much and they protest, we have a talk about next time and then I comprimise. If it is a repeated issue they can be helped in the future. When my oldest went to school she learned what food is eaten first, and what food is savable to have another time, so she doesn't bring home a string cheese to toss. When seeing how little she ate of half a sandwich, a string cheese, a bag of crackers, and a couple of mini carrots, for example, I reduced it. It wasn't that she wasn't hungry, she had 20 minutes and would rather socialize. It looked like I starved her. A quarter sandwich, 1 mini carrot, apple. But it is what she ate-and often brought it back full.

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Batgirl Kitty
Community Member
2 months ago

I mean, my parents just want me to eat until it is at least a meal so I don’t get up in the middle of the night to clear out the fridge. They don’t make me eat it all.

Carol Emory
Community Member
2 months ago

And then it transfers to adulthood where you overeat on a constant basis because you don't want to be wasteful.

Easily Excitable Panda
Community Member
2 months ago

I think this 'rule'' is a matter of class system - the wealthy in 1900th century England used to say, "Leave some for Lady Manners." 'Finish your plate' could come from knowing there won't be any food tomorrow or something.

Donkey boi
Community Member
2 months ago

Kind of agree. If your child is full then yes, making them eat more is bad. But adversely, if you know your child is just going to ask for a snack after 5 minutes... To expand on the above a bit more, I also don't think it's right to force kids to eat things they don't like 'because they are "good" for you'. We as adults don't eat thing we don't like, so why should we expect kids to.

Bow, I’m a Slytherin
Community Member
2 months ago

I have a fun story: I was about 8 or so, and my dad had made me dinner (my mum was out). He’d made me what looked like cats puke (sorry, but it’s true) and it seemed to be basically just lentils. 8-year-old me absolutely despised lentils, but I tried to eat it anyway. I literally couldn’t finish it, but my dad was making me eat every spoonful. No going to the bathroom, just had to eat it. I ended up puking, and he sent me to my room very angrily. Guess he thought I threw up on purpose.

Foxxy (The Original)
Community Member
2 months ago (edited)

It has been proven that forcing kids to eat things they don’t like, or making mealtimes a negative experience, increases the risk of body image issues and eating disorders.

arrufem
Community Member
2 months ago

Sure! Allowing them to eat so much chocolate and junk food as they like has made the American children the study place of obesity. Continue with that.

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CincyReds
Community Member
1 month ago

This when I was a child! I absolutely hate peas...but I had to eat them, I still think of it and it pisses me off! Now when I had kids, all I would ask, is just try it, if you don't like that is fine you don't have to eat it, but just try it.

Carrie Roettger
Community Member
1 month ago

Wasn't done to me and we didn't do that to our kids. We had 3 rules about eating. You have to try a bite of any new foods, if you didn't like it you didn't have to eat it. We would revisit disliked foods because tastes change, leftovers from your meal were yours for 24 hours then they were up for grabs for anyone to eat and if we were eating in the living room and had to get up for something you had to tell whoever you gave your plate to hold this, don't eat it. So many arguments over leftovers and stolen food before those rules were made lol.

real._.izuku
Community Member
1 month ago

my parents have forced me to eat that literally makes me gag. they wouldn't let me leave the table til I ate it all

Mónica Elisabeth Sacco
Community Member
1 month ago

An old habit that comes from old wartimes. You had to eat up because you didn't know when you'd have your next meal. Now, forcing a kid to eat the full meal is push him/her into bad eating habits. A door to obesity.

Judy Harrison
Community Member
1 month ago

I cleaned my plate out of hunger and a desire to get at the fiver my grandpa put under the plate.

Celtic Pirate Queen
Community Member
1 month ago

Hence our obesity problems.

backatya
Community Member
1 month ago

the worst one

Margareta Hagman
Community Member
1 month ago

yes soo stuped !

Ann 4114
Community Member
2 months ago

This form of parental bullying contributes to obesity. 1) It tends to disconnect the feeling of being hungry from actual eating. Eating is presented as a form of social force rather than a response to a legitimate body prompt. 2) It makes it wrong and bad to NOT eat everything you see -- even when you don't want to eat.

Teresa Spanics
Community Member
2 months ago

It is! That has been found as one reason for some people to have a hard time to lose weight.

Dale
Community Member
2 months ago (edited)

I never was told I had to clear my plate or eat everything on it but being forced to eat things i didnt like was common place and as a kid it was not awesome. But as an adult I see that growing up my parents we poor and that meal was what we had and if I disnt eat what I didnt like then id go hungry

Keyy
Community Member
2 months ago

the only time this matter comes up in my household is when i try to get my kids to eat heathy .. i never have to force them to eat when its pizza or mcdonalds or spaghetti .. only when its carrots or peas or green beans .. sooo no , you ate 3 slices of pizza last night sooo i dont wanna hear them say theyre too full to eat 3 spoonfuls of carrots

Actually I’m Sundew
Community Member
2 months ago

I read that a meal should be a handful.

Debby Fendel
Community Member
2 months ago

My rule was easy. You put it on your plate you eat it all. I dish your plate you have to taste it.

Elizabeth Sieben
Community Member
2 months ago

Never made my children eat everything and my daughters (5) favorite food is broccoli or Brussel sprouts, depending on her mood

arrufem
Community Member
2 months ago

And the idea of not wasting food?

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Vladimíra Matejová
Community Member
2 months ago

I was very picky as a child and I tell you parents have to do it sometimes otherwise the child may not eat anything. they should notice if there is something the child really hates and not to force it. in my case it is mushrooms and cauliflower. they even tried to mash it and fry it as meat but it didnt work and i spat it immediately. since then they never forced cauliflower on me.

D. Pitbull
Community Member
2 months ago

I unintentionally got around this once - when I did exactly as asked (despite me crying and saying no/I'm full/my stomach hurts)... then proceeded to vomit it back up.

Jill Bussey
Community Member
2 months ago

And I still won't eat sprouts.

Sue User
Community Member
2 months ago

You must learn to persuade and not compel.

Paradise
Community Member
2 months ago

There is a difference between a kid who just wants up to play and then 5 min later they are hungry and allowing them to regulate themselves off true hunger. The difference being - if they still choose to play they won't get that food 5 minutes later, they wait for the next food time. Sometimes there is a comprimise, you know they are not full from 2 bites of food and you know it isn't god-awful. We have a good eater rule...eat a good enough amount. We encourage trying bites. We have 2 kids and one eats like a bird usually but eats a good variety. She tries things. The other one is more picky but when he likes it he eats a lot. He eats some veggies, as well. Favs are cauliflower and broccoli. Once they try a new food, we ask their opinion, thank them, move on. Do it again another time with the same food.

Keyy
Community Member
2 months ago

someone with some senses .. this is how we do it in my house

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Hollysmom
Community Member
2 months ago

Preach !!!

doris van natta
Community Member
2 months ago

I got this every meal, coupled with the guilt trip of the “DP”s (displaced persons) in Europe starving. This was in the 40’s. I pulled the classic, “then let’s send them this!” only to get my mother’s wrath.

El Dee
Community Member
2 months ago

With children - choose your battles. This one probably ISN'T that important. If you're sitting them down to dinner, make sure they're hungry..

Kevin Donegan
Community Member
2 months ago

Maybe look at "portion control" versus piling stuff up on the plate and then forcing the kid to eat it. Take a little, eat it, then get some more if you want it.

Tiari
Community Member
2 months ago

We had to finish our plates, but only if we filled them beforehand ourselves. „Are you sure you want to take that much? You have to finish it, think about it. You could take a little less and take seconds if you are still hungry.“ If food was served to us already on plates, we didn’t have to finish them.

Kira Okah
Community Member
2 months ago

Promotion of unhealthy food relationships is a major cause of disordered eating and eating disorders.

Xavier David Kern
Community Member
2 months ago

Bruh how yall are gonna be some pushover parents on G

Suzanne Haigh
Community Member
2 months ago

I do not entirely agree with this. Children these days are far too picky and if allowed, which they usually are, eat junk food instead of healthy food. Mind you from what I have heard it is virtually impossible to get healthy food in the USA

Lyone Fein
Community Member
2 months ago (edited)

Virtually impossible to get healthy food in the USA? Well, that's nonsense. Good veggies and beans and rice are available everywhere.

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Curry on...
Community Member
2 months ago

Serve tiny portions and wait to see if they want seconds. Oh, and be a decent cook.

Charlotte DS
Community Member
2 months ago

if I was actually doing that, my kid would only eat french fries and drink coke

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#9

That you can be anything you want in life.

Sorry but this just isn't correct. Poor Eddie who can't grasp basic division isn't going to be an astronaut

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Foxxy (The Original)
Community Member
2 months ago (edited)

I agree with this 100%. I also hate the saying that everything is possible if you put your mind to it. Umm no, not everything is possible for everyone.

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“The teacher told one girl who came to class late and hadn’t had time to get lunch, ‘That’s ok—just go grab something from the cafeteria and come back!’ ‘By myself?’ the girl asked. She was afraid to walk down the halls of her safe school, in a safe neighborhood, in suburban New York. Everyday life is seen as filled with risk.”

This passivity isn’t making children any happier, Lenore put it bluntly. Instead, kids are kept deep inside their comfort zones fully believing that it’s all that they can stand and that this is all that life has to offer. Fortunately, the students that Lenore mentioned had an awesome teacher who didn’t want them to go into high school and then adulthood with so much fear in their lives.

“She wanted to break the shell growing thicker around them every day. And so she assigned The Let Grow Project—a homework assignment that tells kids to, ‘Go home and do something new, on your own.’ At last, the kids were given a push to get out of their comfort zone—and so were their parents. After all, now school was telling them to let go of their kids and give them a little independence,” Lenore said.

#10

“No “tattle tails” or “snitching”

How many kids are abused or bullied and won’t come forward because of this?”

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Rakjell Hanwell
Community Member
2 months ago (edited)

The best way to 'deal' with a kid who is constantly snitching on others for minute things, in my experience, is to take them seriously and if it is possible (which with small conflicts between children it normally almost always is) to tell them to resolve the conflict on their own, by talking. Or, if the snitching kid actually was the one causing the conflict, to show them that you are aware of who actually started it ('Sarah was mean to me!' 'That is not nice, but I also saw you taking away her stuff. Could it be that she wasn't nice to you because of that?') Snitching becomes much less exciting, when there is no adult who goes berserk on the one your snitching on (or if you get caught doing something 'bad' yourself)

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#11

"If he's mean to you he likes you" It just teaches little girls (mostly girls) to expect violence from people who love them

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GirlFriday
Community Member
2 months ago

Again, this comes from people thinking girls are easier to control. "It is easier for us to teach the girl that she likes being hit than it is for us to teach the boy to stop hitting."

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#12

My son’s preschool has a strict “you do not have to play if you don’t want to” policy. No one has to play with anyone they don’t want to play with. They say that no one has to to hug or touch anyone or be touched if they don’t want it. No one has to share their toys or other school supplies if they aren’t done with it. In fact the preschool teacher will go over and referee and say “is Bobby done with the toy car? No? Then Mikey, you have to wait until he is done.” It’s pretty refreshing. I wanted to let you know there are new philosophies and my son’s preschool really strongly teaches body autonomy. Your body is your own and no one can touch it or make you do anything with it without your permission

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Rissie
Community Member
2 months ago

Oh, I'm not totally fine with this. Sometimes some guidance can be refreshing too for that kid that has a hard time connecting or little Bobby has been hogging that car the whole day. Small children totally act on instinct. Helping them look at other angles isn't going to hurt anyone. Just don't force anything. Hugs and physical contact? Totally agree. Although I feel this is more of an American thing?

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“You can see the results in this 2-minute video. That teacher made them do twenty Let Grow Projects. And the result was kids blossoming like crazy—riding their bikes, joining sports programs, piercing their ears, making dinner, walking to town with their friends, and discovering how great it is to do rather than to hide.”

Lenore stressed that any school can do The Let Grow Project and all of their materials are available absolutely for free. You’ll find the project right here and the Independence Kit right over here.”It works for kids aged 5 to 14 or so. And by the way, if you or your school do The Project, drop me a note—I’d love to hear about it! You can write to me via Info@LetGrow.org,” Lenore added, saying that she wants you, dear Pandas, to reach out to her.

#13

Being wrong is bad. That's why many people don't change their mind when they were given trustable sources, they don't want to be wrong

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Katherine Boag
Community Member
2 months ago

It's more than that, it's that being wrong will get you made fun of. Being wrong makes you an idiot.

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#14

Abstinence only sex education. This is more of what they're not being taught. Proper sex education is important.

Edit: For anyone interested I'm posting a link to a John Oliver segment on Americas sex education system. Its very informative but also quite funny.

GurgleQueen636 Report

Foxxy (The Original)
Community Member
2 months ago

I am just curious but do any other countries do abstinence based sex education or is it really only America?

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#15

My mom would often punish me for something, and whenever I asked why or what I did I was told “I’m the adult and you are the child” or “because I said so” or “you shouldn’t need a reason”.

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Marianne
Community Member
2 months ago

How can punishment have any positive effect when the child has no idea what they did wrong?

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In an earlier interview with Lenore, the president of Let Grow, and the founder of the Free-Range Kids movement, told Bored Panda about how kids can keep their curiosity burning and their desire to learn bright and well-honed as they grow.

"I’ve been wondering this myself: How to stay curious when hit by 'the blahs?' Next to Covid (and in great part thanks to Covid) the blahs are the most catching virus around. You get tired and bored by being tired and bored, talking about being tired and bored, and succumbing to them,” Lenore said about how the pandemic is making all of us feel less energetic, physically and mentally.

“Unfortunately, the whole thing is self-reinforcing: A feeling of listlessness leads you to scroll through your social media of choice, which makes you feel more blah, leading you to scroll some more, etc."

#16

Doing the right thing will sometimes make others hate you. Be prepared for that.

FloKarle Report

Stephanie IV
Community Member
2 months ago

That is a good thing to teach.

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#17

That complaining is the same as not being grateful. Can’t count the number of times growing up when adults basically told me to shut up whenever I was complaining about something and that I should be grateful that I was born where I was. Like sure, I’m glad I wasn’t born into some starving African family, but that doesn’t mean everything is perfect over here and that we shouldn’t try to improve things here as well.

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Foxxy (The Original)
Community Member
2 months ago

Yes I hate this. People even say it to adults. We are entitled to our feelings, doesn’t matter if someone has a worse life than us, everyone copes with things differently.

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#18

No is a 'bad' word. It's a strong word but not a bad one.

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Aurelia!
Community Member
2 months ago

So true - it is important to understand what 'no' means and to take it seriously, but also be able to use it when it is needed. Teach them early, and consent won't be an issue.

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Lenore put it bluntly: if we want to be curious about life again, if we want to be constantly learning, we have to start off by getting off the couch. “Force yourself out the door. Why? Because beyond your four walls, things are never exactly the same. Weather, animals, people, sounds, smells, clouds—they’re all swirling about."

She continued: "Ask yourself to start noticing new things. I did that this morning with a friend. We took a walk around our neighborhood and started looking for interesting details in the homes and buildings we passed. It went from a walk down streets we’d seen a million times to a sort of treasure hunt. And the big thing we were really hunting for? Curiosity! When you’re curious, you’re alive again—noticing, thinking, making connections. You can’t do that if there’s no new information coming in. So your first step is to force yourself out of a rut by leaving the house (harder during the pandemic, but not impossible)."

#19

"The parents never make a mistake"

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Tame panda
Community Member
2 months ago

Best one

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#20

"No backtalk." Many adults use it as "you're not allowed to challenge what I have to say." Makes sense if it's a cranky toddler being negative for negativity's sake, but suddenly older children can't question things or raise valid points of their own.

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Raine Soo
Community Member
2 months ago

Growing up, I was all about the backtalk. My father found it amusing that I was a wise-ass. My mother hated it because it was so unbecoming of a young lady.

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#21

That you shouldnt hit a woman. Dont hit anyone! (unless its self defence) If my child is being hit by a woman, and bullied...equal rights equal fights

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Foxxy (The Original)
Community Member
2 months ago

Very true. If you can dish it, then you can take it.

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If you look at the pandemic from a different perspective, it might motivate you to start learning new things. For instance, think about what you’d wish you’d learned or a skill that you’d like to have honed by the end of the pandemic.

“Think of something you’d like to be able to say you’ve been working on, especially once life returns to normal: 'Well, I wasted a lot of that free time I had, but at least I started...' Or, 'At least I learned…' For my sister, she’s taking ballet online. For my husband, he’s learning film editing. For me, it’s… oh God! I better come up with something fast! Um…let’s say I will learn how to create a Clubhouse program. Ok?" Lenore quipped that even the best of the best can struggle with this during the lockdowns.

#22

That the news is completely reliable

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Rissie
Community Member
2 months ago

Sweety, even your own eyes deceive you. Always be open for changes to your reality.

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#23

Happened to my son in middle school, a kid sucker punched my son. My son then fought back and pinned the kid against the wall ( he has long arms) and punched him a few times. The school called me and my wife and told us our son was suspended. We went to the school and they said even though multiple witnesses as well as the kid said he threw the first punch that the school had a zero tolerance policy so our son would be suspended. We asked what the school believed our son should have done and they said he should just walk away. We told them that he would not be receiving any punishment at home and that the policy was f**ked up.

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Caroline
Community Member
2 months ago

I always tell my kids to never ever start a fight, but I will always be on their side when they retaliate. I am allowing them to defend themselves anyway they can, regardless of school rules. The attacker should be the one being punished not the defender.

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#24

I think what we're not taught is more harmful. For example the fact that we never learn (at least in my country) how to fact check things.

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Aurelia!
Community Member
2 months ago

so true, here in the US, our education system is MESSED UP we need to rethink how and what we teach our children

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Even leaving the house to get your blood flowing is a great step toward learning a new skill. What’s more, feeling envy toward someone who’s good at a particular skill or particularly learned is a good way to get yourself motivated to strive for more.

“Do not worry if you are taking that first step as simply something you’re doing thanks to social pressure, or for someone other than yourself. Change is change—the motivation doesn’t matter,” Lenore told Bored Panda.

Lenore believes that we should always be questing to learn more about the world while verifying whether or not something is actually true. That means navigating the world of false claims and fake news.

#25

That everybody is a winner. No. Losing and disappointments are part of life and they are integral to your growth both emotionally and socially. We have a lot of people who enter the real world who have been told they are deserving of things just because and cannot take rejections and losses in their personal and professional lives with any grace whatsoever. This is also resulting in mediocrity being accepted as a norm cos nobody wants to call out ineptitude. While the hard work and dedication being put in by people who do end up in good positions are being played down. It's a little harsh but it's true. Kids gotta learn how to lose before they can truly start to win. That's the only way being gracious in victory will ever come about.

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troufaki13
Community Member
2 months ago

Participation trophies may lead to giving no effort at all in my opinion. Why would someone try if they're going to get praised anyway? Embrace failure, learn from it and if you want to succeed you can try harder next time :)

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#26

Kids are starting social media so early these days, and I think that’s very dangerous because it puts a lot of pressure on the kid to attribute their worth to their social media success. I also think parents are way too open with their social media when it comes to their kids, and it’s totally a violation of the child’s privacy, of which some parents will never admit

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Rakjell Hanwell
Community Member
2 months ago

My 'favorite mum was the one who wouldn't allow the nursery school I worked in to take any photos of their child (making her child the only one who didn't get a memory book and learning portfolio) and screamed at me, because I (a man) was helping her daughter get dressed after she peed herself (she never objected to me doing so in advance and knew, that was one of my duties). She herself then proceeded to post hundreds of pictures of her daughter, including nude swimming pool photos, on facebook.

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#27

Bullies are only bullies because they feel insecure about themselves and you should sympathize with them. **k that, if someone is being s****y to you then they don't deserve your sympathy.

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Beeps
Community Member
2 months ago

I was always told that “bullies are only jealous of you” - whilst that may be true, it doesn’t help with the problem and kind of puts the blame on the victim for somehow doing too well.

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"When you’re reading an article that seems to be so shocking that you’re amazed this is the first time you’re hearing about it, take a short phrase from the piece and Google it. If something strikes you as fishy, go fishing," she said.

"As for whether or not your fishing will lead you to disinformation rather than the truth, try not to fish blindly. If you’re curious about crime stats, for instance, look these up on a government website, not some random blog," she explained. Checking websites like Snopes to see if some shocking stories are real or not is a good move.

#28

Not owning up to their mistakes or blaming them on others.

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Caroline
Community Member
2 months ago

A lot of children nowadays are not accepting responsibilities. It's always someone else's fault. It makes me mad, especially as it's not just kids who do this, but society in general.

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#29

Children do learn about sex at a young age, it just isn’t usually in a productive way. I know I did.

My own experience: questions like this are why I believe in being infinitely clear with my kids….”you are going to hear total [nonsense] from other kids. If you hear something you don’t understand, come talk to me. You can ask me anything and expect a decent answer.” And I would give examples of the total [nonsense] I had heard as a kid, most of which would result in pregnancy.

Son, age 6. Daughter, age 7. Riding home from school: daughter says “Tiffany said she had sex with my brother.” Which left me a grand total of 3 minutes to gather my wits before we got home.

OK, do you guys know what sex is? Blank looks. Sex is when you take off all of your clothes and rub privates together. You can make babies that way. Looks of shock and disgust. Do you think your brother had sex with Tiffany? Nooo! I think she was using a really bad way of trying to say she likes him, and maybe she watches the wrong TV shows where if people like each other they always have sex.

Were my kids really ready for a sex talk? No, not really. They didn’t care. Did we really need to have one about then? Yep. My job as a parent is to be there to put things that come up in context for them, not run around after them deciding what and when they need to know things.

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nanashi
Community Member
2 months ago

I believe when a kid starting to ask about sex, no matter what age, you the adult should explain it age appropriately. don't avoid it. don't mix with fantasy/myth/BS. just use the language level that they would understand.

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#30

How to internalize stress and implode as teens and adults.

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Siah avis
Community Member
2 months ago

And teach them how to let someone know they are uncomfortable. Like how to approach someone in a position higher than you to tell them youre not ok with something.

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