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46 Hard Truths Women Realize At Some Point In Their Lives And Have To Accept And Live With
Everybody's problems are different, and they all deserve to be heard, so feminist writer Carina North, who blogs about trauma and recovery, has recently asked women on Threads to list what they believe to be the worst parts of womanhood.
In just a few days, she has received hundreds of honest accounts on rigid social structures, tense interpersonal relationships, and challenging body changes.
As AI slop floods the media, this discussion stood out as an increasingly rare example of genuine reflection and meaningful dialogue. To spare you the hassle of scrolling through everything yourself, we've gathered some of the top insights and invite you to join the conversation.
More info: Instagram | Substack | Threads
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#1
Being alone and peaceful is far greater than settling or forcing myself to make something work with someone that isn't my person.
Power puff scientist 2 months ago
This is so true in life in general, it's better to be alone than with the wrong person because the wrong person is going to make your life so much more miserable.
BookFanatic 2 months ago
Yep. I'm a 46 yr old asexual and I've come to accept that I will be alone for the rest of my life. I'm tired of guys who profess to "understand" that I will never want s*x and then get upset at me when I refuse to "put out."
KnightOwl86 2 months ago
I lost my partner 2yrs ago and i already have people questioning when I'm going to 'move on and meet someone else' I honestly don't see it as a priority and I'm fine on my own. I was single for nearly 10yrs before I got with my partner and I was perfectly happy alone until I fell in love with my best friend. I'll never understand people who stay in awful relationships because they don't want to be alone, being single can be amazing if you do it right!
Lotekguy 1 month ago
It did for me, but I was lucky to eventually get it right.
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RELATED:
#2
That doctors will disregard our concerns and pain tolerance, even if they are a female.
StrangeOne 2 months ago (edited)
What is up with some nurses? I've had really good nurses. But then there's those who think that if you've ever birthed a child your whole nervous system came out, too.
person (i think) 2 months ago
I’m under the impression they nurses fall into 1 of 2 categories: those who are there because they want to help people and those who are there because they love the control over people.
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Alexandra 2 months ago
Luckily, there is more and more attention being paid to the fact that a woman's biology reacts differently to medication and that 'general symptoms' should read 'male symptoms'. For instance, a woman presents very differently when she has a heart attack: that's why it's often overlooked by GP's.
Little Bit 2 months ago
Female doctors are worse than male doctors, especially if it anything relating to menopause/perimenopause. They seem to think that if it isn't something they've experienced themselves then it’s irrelevant or a figment of the patient's imagination.
Wysteria_Rose 2 months ago
I remember being told I would experience "cramping" with my IUD insertion. Y'all, I now know what a fish experiences when it's being gutted, THAT's how bad it was. And all they did was tell me to "try to keep still this time; you jostled it out of place" while I was sobbing and crying because the pain was so fierce.
SchadenFreudian Psychology 2 months ago
Båstards. The same thing happened to me.
Load More Replies... katiekat0214 2 months ago
And this is when you report to that hospital, to the AMA, and go on social media. Then dump them and find an empathetic doctor.
April Pickett 2 months ago
I've been fortunate with my doctors. I switched to female doctors when there weren't that many. They've all been responsive to my concerns and observations. I am very happy with all of my doctors.
Crystalwitch60 2 months ago
Mine don’t !! Ur clearly going to the wrong doctors uk docs are bloody brilliant !
Cee Cee 2 months ago (edited)
Including the 2 surgeons currently in prison? Then the Manchester GP Harold Shipman who killed many of his elderly female patients after they'd named him in their wills. Most are fine but you never know when you might come across evil.
Load More Replies...Of course, the situation might look different depending on which part of the world you analyze, but at least in the United States, two of the top three concerns for women are inflation and the economy.
A collaboration between the Barbara Lee Family Foundation and the Women & Politics Institute at American University has resulted in a survey that revealed 56% of the country's women feel their financial situations worsened in recent years.
67% of respondents cut back on going out to restaurants, 48% reduced the amount they spend on groceries, and 18% delayed or canceled preventive health screenings.
Nearly 40% of younger women can make ends meet each month but struggle to pay or save for unexpected expenses, while 20% of young women admit they struggle to make ends meet each month and sometimes come up short.
#3
That other women can be misogynistic.
Nea 2 months ago
A lot of women’s misogyny stems from what feminists call patriarchal bargain. So yea Misogynist women are created Nd maintained by patriarchy.
Tommy DePaul 1 month ago
There can't possibly be women who are just bad . . . ..
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Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 2 months ago
Case in point. Every woman in the Trump Administration. Pam Bondi, Karoline Levit, Kirstie Noem? Seriously i wouldn't give any of them the time of day for their anti feminist views. That whole "wife should know her place" thing is so gross.
SheHulk 2 months ago
I took over a business from a man, whose customers are mostly women. He was always treated with respect. The amount of shite that I have had to deal with over the years, despite my many previous years of experience, is unbelievable!
st4x2gt974 2 months ago
No s**t. And here I thought all these “Trad” wives were just married to a dude with a weird name.
Power puff scientist 2 months ago
Isn't this kind of comment just as bad? Shouldn't it be about choices and options for women, so if some want to be a traditional wife have that option?
Load More Replies... #4
That it doesn't matter what I do or accomplish, only how attractive people find me.
Argriffith 2 months ago
Such an unfortunate truth. I gained a little weight and I was treated very VERY differently. It's really sad how much your looks have an effect on how others treat you. You can be the smartest sweetest woman in the planet but if the other person finds you ugly dollars to doughnuts they aren't going to smile back at you.
Power puff scientist 2 months ago
Isn't that the same with men? If they are ugly? Pretty privilege is a real thing in the world.
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Sven Horlemann 1 month ago
Yep. Looks are on one hand a wonderful tool to take advantage of. Then again, they can be a curse, too.
Nea 2 months ago
With due respect to your choices and experience, I dont think in many cases, its my view of myself that dictates my worth in others’ eyes, the world and its influence on us is a real thing.
Load More Replies... #5
That my own parents are upset that I don’t want kids. I am 24 and they keep saying “you’ll change your mind” no I won’t. It’s so annoying. Like I am grown and can make my own decisions about MY OWN body.
Power puff scientist 2 months ago
I think if you look into many other countries things are so much worse for women about not being able to make choices about their body. Some places in the world are still truly barbaric about their views.
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Ffion Jones 2 months ago
I have always told my daughter it is her choice if she wants kids/marriage etc. besides, if I don’t get grandkids then we get to go on FABULOUS holidays together lol 😝
Fire Singer 2 months ago
I dealt with that for YEARS! Now I'm 41 and people have stopped giving me a hard time about it for the most part. I've still to this day not regretted my decision to not have children. If I need someone to care for me when I'm old I'll just get assistance if I can afford it and if I can't I'll just die at home. Making kids feel obligated to care for you when you're older is not a reason to have children.
Panda Kicki 2 months ago
It isnt totally unknown to happen. I run a fertility group and a staggering amount are women in their 40.s who never wanted kids, sometime even sterilized and then either had baby fever or met a spouse and decided to have kids. IVF and egg donation can help most if them but its pretty expensive.
katiekat0214 2 months ago
You absolutely CAN make decisions about your own body in the USA, but be prepared to spend money on multiple contraceptives if you choose to have s*x. Be prepared to travel abroad if you want an abortion. Easier just to take care of things on your own, and not be in contact with any s***m.
Sven Horlemann 1 month ago
Ha ha, my wife and I are 59/63 and they still struggling accepting it... being in their 80s themselves 🙄. This never ends.
Cpt. Christan "Panda Bombero" 1 month ago
Yes. I too have received the lectures about "grandchildren", and "who will take care of you when you get old?"
60% say they are pessimistic about the economy, and nearly half (47%) say they are anxious or worried about how things are going in the U.S.
As a result, the majority (60%) feel they're more burned out than usual.
Only 20% of those surveyed say they're hopeful.
#6
My mum had to get a man to speak to businesses over the phone to get respect when she was dealing with them. She was a single parent and worked so hard but was never heard.
April Pickett 2 months ago
This is very true. They see a woman come in to get a car repaired, they try to take advantage of them.
katiekat0214 2 months ago
This is where my inner little badger comes to the fore, and I am READY and willing to bring it to them, speaking power to power. Stand up straight, project, keep talking when they inevitably interrupt, negotiate ruthlessly, and refuse to back down. Yes it's tiring and tiresome and stupid and pointless, but a lot of men won't understand anything but power being shoved in their faces. Usually once is all it takes, Still, massive ugh.
Crystalwitch60 2 months ago
Since I’ve been a lone mum n divorced I’ve NEVER had that issue lol like NEVER !, even when I had a car , I’m likely a far better mechanic than they are( father taught me he was a mechanic lol ) so I take no shite now ,been there done that got pads from tin the physical n mental scars ,so nope never been an issue for me , quiet chilled little old me , unless you try taking down to me !,
Ashtophet 2 months ago
Crystal, I feel like you wouldn’t suffer these fools gladly, they were made to listen!
Load More Replies... #7
That for a lot of men, once you reach a certain age as a woman, you’re invisible. I sit with many elderly women in hospice, they have stories for days. But only I seem to hear them. I work with women in their late 50s and early 60s, and the lives they have lived are truly, AMAZING. Is this our fate? To only exist to men, during the maiden/ mother phase of life? Half the population ignores women 45+💔
Mel in Georgia 2 months ago
I LOVE being mostly invisible in my 60s. Who cares what men in general think! My husband loves me, my kids love me, my friends love me ... F the male gaze and interest!
Sue 2 months ago
I do crazier things now in my 60's than when I was younger. I just DGAF what people think of me any more.
Load More Replies... SchadenFreudian Psychology 2 months ago
As I age, I’m finding “invisibility” liberating. People will finally leave me alone so I can read!
katiekat0214 2 months ago
As someone who's been mostly invisible my whole life, first because I was extremely obese, and now (having lost over 200 lbs) and older, I've found there is a lot of freedom in being invisible. I can go out and do exactly as I please, and I'm never talked to, talked at, harassed, slowed down, or mostly even noticed. I would make an excellent private investigator, simply because of that invisibility. With age comes freedoms that young people can't imagine.
SchadenFreudian Psychology 2 months ago
LOL at private investigator. I’ve often thought middle-aged or older women would be the best spies, for that reason. Or criminals, for that matter. All thieves are men, right? (/s)
Load More Replies... Fat Harry (Oi / You) 2 months ago
My partner is almost 20 years older than me, and I will always think she's amazing.
Little Bit 2 months ago
I've always been invisible because I'm not pretty by any any stretch of the imagination. Good job I hate being the centre of attention.
#8
That my body is weaker than a man's and that therefore I will never feel safe. That 40 years of periods and 500+ cycles is somehow not enough.
Argriffith 2 months ago
THIS. I silently have struggled with this for most of my life. No amount of self defense classes, or training will allow me to walk down the street at night without fear the way most men can. I'm not weak by any means but I know that if I got grabbed by a couple men it would be game over.
Daria 2 months ago
it's for this reason that i always wear comfortable shoes when I know i'll be walking alone at night - fast running is my only defense
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Jonas Fisher 2 months ago
I'm not sure what periods and cycles have to do with generating personal safety.
SchadenFreudian Psychology 2 months ago
Fvck periods. Why can’t we evolve a better way to reproduce than the way humans currently do?
katiekat0214 2 months ago
Overall true, but if you know how to fight dirty, and don't mind getting absolutely bloody-minded about it, you can survive. It may not be a pretty or easy survival, but once a perpetrator brings it, do whatever it takes to survive. By becoming a perp in the first place, they are putting their lives on the line. Make them regret it, ideally forever.
SchadenFreudian Psychology 2 months ago
If they’re bigger and stronger than you, nothing you do in self-defense is off-limits.
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Cpt. Christan "Panda Bombero" 1 month ago
My mom, who actually is quite peaceful and liberal, ( her words) says, "A .357, makes any woman equal to any ignorant man." Also, my mom taught me how to wield a sword.
Billy Gene 1 month ago
Nobody feels safe. That's the myth. Women just think it's only them, that's the difference.
M B 1 month ago (edited)
100% true...I'd like to see stats on which gender gets robber/killed most....will not be surprised if gender has little or no relevance. And to every woman that immediately feels annoyed by this comment ask yourself "do I care if these men feel safe at night? Or am I mostly annoyed by men not caring enough about my feelings?". Personally, safety for all people, unrelated to gender should be all of our concerns...how did this become a gender dependant one?!?!
Load More Replies... #9
OH another one— instead of listening to the literal billions of women who TELL them what women want, they will always throw that away and take a man’s advice on what women want.
cuz of course, we’re lying and they know better.
StrangeOne 2 months ago
Some men will even tell you signs your body says to him that you're in the mood for s*x, and tell you what should feel good to you because it feels good to him, no matter what.
The Big Bad 2 months ago
I literally wrote down exactly what I want/like. And still everytime, every man I've been in a relationship with: "you're so vague, I don't know what you want." (:
Heather Rose Artushin, LISW-CP, agrees that workplace norms, gendered societal expectations, and relationship dynamics can hold women back.
"Many women desire a balance between career, family, and a fulfilling personal life, but achieving this balance is often not so easy," she says. "Societal expectations, like taking on the majority of housework and childcare tasks even when working full-time, and workplace biases, like lower pay and inflexible work hours, leave women feeling overwhelmed, stressed, and burned out."
#10
That nobody cares about our health as much as we do. Including doctors. Every symptom I have is an uphill battle to not be labelled as 'anxious'. Sometimes I feel like we're still in the 1800s and I'll be sent to an asylum before my symptoms are taken seriously :,). Not listening to health care professionals has saved my life and that terrifies me.
Farah (she/her) 2 months ago
cross out including and write ESPECIALLY because not all stomach pains is period cramps >:(
The Big Bad 2 months ago
I went to my doctor with a severe headache: I was sent home, "call back in a few days" My husband went to that same doctor with the same complaint a few months later: he gets sent to the hospital, got all the scans etc.
Moira 2 months ago
This is devastating, US healthcare sound a nightmare. This has (fortunately) never happened to me, my four sisters, mom, grandma, auties... It seems is not that common in Spanish healthcare, as I haven't meet any woman with this kind of problems. Fight for your health! This is NOT normal, doctors HAVE to care, doctors should be there for you!
Mel in Georgia 2 months ago
The words hysteria and hysterectomy are related because it was believed that women were "crazy" because their uterus was doing weird things inside them and removing the uterus would cure them. Blaming hormones and gynecological problems for whatever physical and psychological complaints a woman has continues to this day.
SaladSpinnerDeux 2 months ago
Studies on new medications and specifically pain medications often do not include women in the control group unless it's a "woman problem" https://www.cbc.ca/news/health/women-health-second-opinion-1.7531876
Power puff scientist 2 months ago (edited)
that's not what your source is talking about, it says there is not enough women only research and before 1990 women were often not included but nowadays they are. I read some more and nowadays it's pretty equal across the board https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5867082/
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Lil Nitemare 2 months ago
Literally why I no longer go to doctors. Between that and the cost it is just not worth it, and I'm too exhausted to care anymore.
Grumpy old man 2 months ago
Do your own rresearch. I do. I have a "spare" PCP when I cant get through to the main one
Load More Replies... #11
I will always be judged based on my body and looks, and it's the first thing men attack when they realise how strong my character is.
Sue 2 months ago
Because they're lying & manipulating. Why are you falling for it? I stopped in my early 20's. "Your beautiful! Go out with me!" "No, I have a boyfriend." "It's fine - you're ugly anyway."
Load More Replies... Daria 2 months ago
that, and they also call you illogical names for refusing to be submissive to them
Sue 2 months ago
If we stop dating & marrying those guys, eventually that behavior will die down. Have respect for yourself. I wish there had been a Reddit when I was growing up. So many things I learned the hard way. Now we have the ability to share our experiences & how to handle them. Globally. Stop thinking getting married is the ultimate prize.
Load More Replies... SchadenFreudian Psychology 2 months ago
IKR?? Every time a progressive woman runs for office, at least half of the responses from regressive men are comments about her looks, her laugh, the sound of her voice, etc. No, entertaining men or presenting a pretty picture is NOT part of the job of an elected official.
katiekat0214 2 months ago
Judge away, and get judged in return. If you're going to accept or dismiss me based on looks alone, okay, then you're shallow, not worth knowing, and you can be dismissed and forgotten. That road runs both ways.
Sue 2 months ago
It's not really judgment. You're really missing it. It's manipulation. How can you think a guy who goes from complimenting you to insulting you because you disagree or don't want to date him is "judging" you? Do you really think he just changed his opinion in a few seconds. He knows it works sometimes. So stop letting it work. If you are taking that kind of man's opinion seriously, you need therapy.
Power puff scientist 1 month ago (edited)
I think it's human nature in general. Say something people don't like and they will immediately revert to insults. You can easily see it a lot online these days. Those men act the same way, don't get what they want so they immediately unleash their anger at rejection by hurling nonsensical insults.
Load More Replies... #12
No matter how much we succeed, most men will think they're superior by default
Farah (she/her) 2 months ago
My mum worked for this man (for a month, then she found a better offer and left lol) and he never wanted his employees to imply that they know more than him. I asked my mum if she hates him and she said "no honey I just feel bad for him"
Fat Harry (Oi / You) 2 months ago
This must be insecurity. I'm delighted that my stepdaughters have by far exceeded my achievements and, in many ways, are much brighter than I am. I actually look forward to the odd occasions when I can teach them something or tell them something they don't know!
But while workplace norms and gendered societal expectations stand in the way of women having it all, relationships can also play a role.
"It isn't uncommon for female spouses to give their male partners time to work late at the office or travel for business, taking on the extra burden at home, but what would it be like for men to give women the same time to invest in their careers without having to worry about making dinner, packing lunches, or facilitating the bedtime routine with the kids?" the therapist asks.
Hopefully, we'll see more couples sharing the load so both partners can thrive at work and at home.
#14
You can say something very relevant, honest and well thought, but nobody will truly listen until a man repeats it.
katiekat0214 2 months ago
Nope, you're not leveraging power here. I've had "he-peating" happen to me, and I started getting louder, and saying VERY firmly, "I just said that", and shooting dirty looks to the he-peater. He got the hint very quickly. And I also made sure that a few people at the meeting would be the ones who would circle back and say, hey, Katiekat just made a good point, can you say that again?" or even better, "John, you interrupted Katiekat, let's hear what she has to say." The second one is GOLD, done by anyone. Those people who make sure all voices are heard are priceless.
SchadenFreudian Psychology 2 months ago
If I’m amongst people who are dismissive toward what I say, and I can foresee trouble in the situation they’re in…I will warn them ONCE. If they take me seriously and the crisis is averted—great. If they don’t listen to me and the bad thing happens, I just sit back and savor the schadenfreude. 🤷🏻♀️
#15
That I likely will not outlive patriarchy.
Moira 2 months ago
Well, it's unfortunately true that we might not outlive many bad things, but hang in there! Is still worthy to keep fighting! But, at the same time, we're not going to outlive many things, so if you're tired, just take a bit rest from fighting the world 💪 be healthy, happy and kind to yourself, you can make a change, but we don't need to fight the world 24/7
SchadenFreudian Psychology 2 months ago
You might have to become a vampire to accomplish that. Hmmm……🧛🏻♀️
Crystalwitch60 2 months ago
Well I hope anyway 😂I being 60 only want another20 yrs on this shite show that is earth ,max ty muchly then i,ll see myself out M,
Power puff scientist 2 months ago
Burn all religious books sounds like a great start for a better world in general.
Load More Replies... #16
While 60 countries have had female leaders already, the US still refuses to vote for a female President. Twice now, qualified women were willing to serve their country and instead...well, you know the rest.
Mel in Georgia 2 months ago
Yeah, this one more than the other posts hits like the truth. The US severely lags behind other nations in their respect for women who would make good leaders. I know Hillary especially, is divisive, but she is one of the most competent women in US politics we've ever known.
Lorraine R 1 month ago
A man with her resume would have been elected, no question.
Load More Replies... SchadenFreudian Psychology 2 months ago
The U.S. is one of the most sexist countries in the world.
#17
That it always will be my fault. because I should have tidied up after them, I should have checked they're OK, I should have known what everyone liked, I shouldn't have spoken out.
Farah (she/her) 2 months ago
"Was a good girl so I'd sit tight and if I don't speak then we can't fight" - Cinderella's Dead by Emeline
Little Bit 2 months ago
My mother was a narcissist so I grew up always being blamed for everything, never being good enough, always walking on eggshells. My ex-husband was also a narcissist and for years I thought that his a*****e treatment of me was normal. They both succeeded in making me feel utterly worthless.
katiekat0214 2 months ago
Nah, I don't buy this at all. Don't even be with anyone who blames and shames in the first place. Don't over-nurture in the first place. Don't clean for other adults. Speak up, and let them out themselves as sexist jerks, then discard them. Be around people who like you, love you, value your opinion, your safety, your well-being. If not, into the bin they go!
#18
That because I didnt have children, im somehow inferior.
Nea 2 months ago (edited)
Purely my experience of being a childfree married person- all women and men with children are slightly jealous of me. They are kind enough to say this to me often.
Sandella 2 months ago
I would say that one lifestyle is not superior to the othe, just different. They both have their positives and drawbacks.
Load More Replies... katiekat0214 2 months ago
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." -- Eleanor Roosevelt
Alexandra 2 months ago
I'm sure that if people were really honest with themselves, they would wish they didn't have kids or not so many. Having kids is not an achievement: it's not the pinnacle of self-sacrifice. Some are born to be parents and others are not, just as some have a talent for soccer and others are talented tennis players. If you think children are not for you and you don't have them, that's so much better than the parents who have kids because 'that's what life is about' or 'that's how we do it in our family'. I would argue that many parents pretend to be superior because they know they made the wrong choice.
st4x2gt974 2 months ago (edited)
Not inferior, but giving up yourself entirely is a trial that changes you and challenges you in ways you otherwise would not be. Just like I’m not going to listen to someone’s world view who’s never left their hometown whereas I’ve traveled and lived all over the world. Some people crumble under the challenge and those are the ones whom I suspect are the culprits for making you feel inferior. The rest of us just silently roll our eyes and move on at the incredibly out of touch comments we hear a million times out of ignorant mouths. It’s the gift of perspective from the other side. We’re never the ones writing these whiny posts. We don’t have the time or the desire to focus this much in ourselves.
Jp@nda 1 month ago
I was with you until the last sentence. It's giving "better than"
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SchadenFreudian Psychology 2 months ago
I got married a bit later than most of my friends, so they started having kids while I was still single. When I saw how pregnancy and motherhood changed their lives, I realized how lucky I was. (I did later get married [then divorced], but I never had kids. And I’m GLAD I didn’t have kids, after I saw what it did to my friends.)
Littlemiss 2 months ago
I faced this for many years, looked down upon because I did have a few kids with multiple Dad's. I got some nasty responses to saying, I haven't met the right person who I want to have children with.
#19
Lots of men will never see us as people. Men can pursue and even marry us and tick the boxes of treating us ok (like you do a pet or appliance) - it doesn’t mean he sees you as a person or is interested in you as a person. Those men are also creating products and making laws and leading institutions while ignoring the needs of half the population - not noticing when we’re not in the room, and happier when we’re not as it’s uncomfortable when not-people speak up.
katiekat0214 2 months ago
Easy way to tell this from the get-go: voice opinions. Disagree. Change the date or time of something, like a presentation at work if possible, or a location of a date. I've also noticed if a man is inconvenienced by low mood, or sickness, or an unexpected circumstance, and only likes the "on", happy, agreeable side, he's one of these, and he can be thrown in the garbage immediately. You won't even grieve; there will just be total relief at his absence.
SchadenFreudian Psychology 2 months ago
You and I should hang out. I like the way you think! 😀
Load More Replies... Daria 2 months ago
this sounds mostly like the US for some reason. Is it also true for Europe?
Luke Branwen 2 months ago
European here: I think the "traditional" men are the same everywhere. I personally deeply love and respect women and I'm often horrified at the "truths" and crude jokes other men constantly spew about women. And then they act like I AM the weird one for refusing to participate or telling them what they say is f@cked up.
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Agent Smith 1 month ago
I am sure that men are only interested in finding their 'new mommy' when looking at women. Ew. It took me 40 years to realise this.
#20
That most other women underestimate their capabilities. I can’t even recall how many times I have had women in my neighborhood asked me where I take my car in for service and when I tell them that I do it myself they’re completely flabbergasted. I always invite them over to watch and learn how to do with themselves and see how easy it is. Only the really easy stuff: oil changes, brakes, belts, hoses, spark plugs… If I can learn to bake a cake they can learn to change their own oil.
Power puff scientist 2 months ago
I often think people in general don't learn these kind of important basic skills anymore. Most people find it easier to just pay someone else for these kind of jobs. So many examples of pretty easy skills almost no one possess anymore.
#21
Gynos will always say and convince others (including women) that we don't feel pain down there.
Jp@nda 1 month ago
They should absolutely not be a 15 min standard office appt with no numbing or sedation. It's barbaric
Load More Replies... SchadenFreudian Psychology 2 months ago
If something hurts, don’t try to “grin and bear it.” Scream your head off!
katiekat0214 2 months ago
And that's precisely when I'd get loud, and difficult, and force that gyno to comprehend my very valid point of view about my body. Let's have the come to Jesus talk right here, right now. Can you tell I'm not at all afraid of making a scene when someone is being rude, dismissive, and unprofessional? Usually never happens but the once.
Jp@nda 1 month ago
You really need to be seen as a bad b+tch don't you? And what, was it a movie where someone used the "come to Jesus talk" quote and you just couldn't wait to use it huh
Load More Replies... #22
One of the hardest ugly truths I’ve had to accept as a woman is having to back up statements with research or a source. I have several instances where I state a fact and a dude will be like, “wait, that can’t be right?” And then I will literally pull the book out that it was from and cite my source and sometimes they’ll be like “ah ok” and other times they’ll want more sources.
Power puff scientist 2 months ago
I think it's a good thing in general to not blindly accept everything people say/write but actually ask/look for sources. I would also ask a man, and both men and women often ask me when talking about issues, seems pretty normal to me.
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Fat Harry (Oi / You) 2 months ago
I would ask for a source of any dubious claim, whether it came from a man or a woman.
Sue 2 months ago (edited)
You do realize this isn't all about you, or even all men. But enough to make many women's lives miserable. Of course dubious claims should be verified - I do it. But many men will argue with a woman when the subject they are arguing about is her specialty - AND THEY WILL NOT GO LOOK IT UP BEFORE CALLING HER OUT. When I call people out, I find the documentation first, but those guys' first move is to argue. And some will actually get angry at her if she's right.
Load More Replies... katiekat0214 2 months ago
That's when I'd have a short, sharp, blunt, harsh conversation about taking me at my word, and the sexism behind what they're doing. That is a total come to Jesus moment for them, and they need to change immediately. No backing down even one iota.
#23
The saddest topic 😔
I can only agree with… literally every single lady here.
My own truth: no matter how educated and experienced you are, your supervisor (if it’s a man) will always prioritise another man’s opinion and decision.
katiekat0214 2 months ago
It can happen, but I personally would evaluate first of all how tied I am to that job and that company. If you get iced out, silenced, and passed over once, okay maybe a fluke. Second time, pack it up and move on. It's not worth proving anything to someone who cannot or will not see your worth. That said, old age and treachery beats youth and innocence every time, and if there can be some malicious compliance thrown in that tanks a sexist jerk boss, and/or a company, go for it. Anyone who is like that deserves failure. Be the agent of karma.
SchadenFreudian Psychology 2 months ago
I just don’t let work have that much power ovet my self-esteem. I only work because society says I have to, to get money to live on. Treat me fairly, and I’ll stick around, perform my duties well, and go along with most of the micromanaging büllshit rules about things that don’t really matter. Treat me badly, and I’ll find another job. Never make the mistake of falling in love with your job.
Load More Replies... #24
That I can accomplish many things, help many people and still get dismissed because I’m over 50.
SchadenFreudian Psychology 2 months ago
When people expect less from you, they’re giving you back some of your time and energy. Take it! And use it wisely. 😏
katiekat0214 2 months ago
Dismiss the dismissers then, that road runs both ways. If it's a boss, then never be enthusiastic about anything he does. Get totally enthusiastic for other women and younger workers. And ideally, find a better job, tank that boss, and only go where you are appreciated. Don't stay in any a*****e situation if at all possible, for the least amount of time.
#25
I will never get proper care from the industrialized healthcare system.
SchadenFreudian Psychology 2 months ago
It’s partly sexism, and (in the U.S.) partly for-profit healthcare.
katiekat0214 2 months ago
I don't buy this, and I'm 57, and have co-morbidities. It's a lot in how you speak to people. I always maintain eye contact, have a firm, clear voice, and am very articulate about what I know about my own body and what I expect from them. A lot of this is, you just go in expecting to be respected, expecting good treatment, expecting professionalism. You just don't leave room for anything less, and if the doctor is sub-par, I for one would let the head doctor know, the hospital, the AMA, and all of social media. Then dump them and get someone better.
#26
That women’s jobs and women don’t make the same money as men’s jobs and men.
Luke Branwen 2 months ago
But it's all women's fault! Men go for prestigious, high-paying jobs like managers or developers, while women only pursue lowly, meager careers like female managers or female developers.
SchadenFreudian Psychology 2 months ago
As soon as an occupation starts to gain more women, the pay starts going down. 🤬
katiekat0214 2 months ago
I found as a teacher that all teachers with X education and Y experience were paid the same, based on a salary table. Same with jobs for federal, state, local government. Corporate is where the inequalities really come into play.
Anthony Elmore 2 months ago
Beyond that, it's not even always the corporation doing the discriminating. It's worth noting that the studies on s*x-based pay found that a contributing factor to the pay difference is that were just working lower paying jobs. Now, before you roll your eyes, I'm not actually using this as an example that there isn't a problem. On the contrary, this shows a sizable problem. It shows that those lower paying jobs are being associated with women, and in all likelihood (maybe certainty is a better choice here), that society is effectively pigeonholing them to the lesser paying jobs. It doesn't really matter if you could make the same money as a man working at a particular job if you're stigmatized for going after it and the person hiring is affected by bias about your suitability for the task.
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Tim Richards 2 months ago
What's a "woman's job?" What's a "man's job?" If anything, it sounds like you've got those divided in your head already.
Power puff scientist 2 months ago
I get what you mean but in general in society you see some jobs are more done by men and some more by women. For example coal miners, construction workers, oilrig workers, garbage collectors are all more "man's jobs" as they are more than 90% done by men. Jobs like nurse, kindergarten teacher, beauty care are more dominated by women.
Load More Replies... #27
I think the scariest one for me is that there very well could be a great, upstanding man who pursues me in earnest and genuinely wants everything I want, but I’ll be so afraid waiting for the other shoe to drop that I’ll ruin it somehow. But I’m working at conquering that fear, and not being the conquered.
Daria 2 months ago
I'm yet to meet a person of any gender who's actually, genuinely nice all the time. Most often there's at least one quotation mark involved. And I know I'm not different tbh
Load More Replies... katiekat0214 2 months ago
This is when you slow things down a lot. Read Lundy Bancroft's "The Gift of Fear". Most abusers drop the mask at about 18 months to two years. Just don't be in a hurry at all. Any users or losers WILL get impatient, show their colors, and can be easily disposed of. Someone who is kind and really interested will treasure time with you no matter what.
SchadenFreudian Psychology 2 months ago
Same. 😢 I have an amazing partner, but I’ve had my moments of thinking this must be too good to be true.
Black Cat 2 months ago
Yeah but women aren't likely to r**e and k**l you if you get it wrong.
Load More Replies... #28
The fact that I must look a certain way and be feminine to be found attractive by a man. Welp I guess I am not trying anymore and just being unapologetically a gremlin (myself).
Littlemiss 2 months ago
Yep, being ugly isn't for the faint of heart. If you're shy, and wary because of treatment from other males then you are a right off.
Little Bit 2 months ago
I've never been pretty by any stretch of the imagination, I wear what I feel comfortable in, i don't wear makeup. What you see is what you get with me. Anyone who doesn't like it is more than welcome to leave me alone.
katiekat0214 2 months ago
Unapologetic low femme here, my whole life. Just never liked or got into fashion or makeup. People cna accept me as I am, or they can leave. I don't want anyone around me who wants me to change anyway. Being un-made up and dressed comfortably does rid you of superficial people, and that's a win no matter what.
#29
That no matter how we look, we will get harrased. Men used to always make gross comments about my body and the only reason they stopped is that I gained weight. So now they are making different gross comments about my body. Yay... 😑
katiekat0214 2 months ago
Rip that power away from all harassers. Whenever possible, if some man has said something to me like that, I've gotten loud, up in his face, talked over him, interrupted, and utterly stripped him of all alleged power, control, dominance. Again, they only do this once, and then they know they are inferior beings. Otherwise, I simply don't react or respond at all, and treat them as if they simply don't even exist and their words never spoken. I hope it disrupts them so hard, they doubt their own existence.
Anthony Elmore 2 months ago
If you're in a crowded enough area, I recommend loudly asking them if they just said "_____" in an offended tone. They f*****g melt when everyone has their attention drawn to them.
Load More Replies... #30
That not being married with children by a certain age makes you worthless. Oh and that once your 40 or over you've "passed your prime. "
setsuriseikou 2 months ago
And being married with children also somehow makes you worth very little, as in "why give her a raise/promotion, she's got a husband to feed her, and anyway she should pour herself into caring for her kids, not building a career"
SchadenFreudian Psychology 2 months ago
But being unmarried and not having children gives you freedom from a lot of büllshit. That’s the big secret that the patriarchy hides from little girls. If too many little girls stop wanting to be mommies and bangmaids, patriarchal men won’t get our free labour anymore.
#31
The term wife means different things to men and women.
katiekat0214 2 months ago
This is where slowing things down, and doing a LOT of talking over time makes things clear. Don't be in any rush to get married. Remember that you never HAVE to get married, and that living apart together is a valid form of partnership. Make sure you marry someone who is on the same page as you. And any and all trad husbands can die mad and alone anyway. That's just such trash.
SchadenFreudian Psychology 2 months ago
They aren’t really “trad husbands” unless they’re the only ones bringing in money to the household; and unless it’s very difficult for them to divorce the wife; and unless they have to pay a ton of alimony if they do get divorced.
Load More Replies... Anthony Elmore 2 months ago
This one strike me as odd... Not entirely, as there are plenty of men who seem to think that wife and servant are interchangeable words. Still, if there is a more nuanced difference beyond that, I'm not certain how I'd tell. I'd never really considered there could be a difference beyond the more obvious examples.
#32
For me it’s the sacrifice I give as a mom a wife a daughter a sister etc. the sacrifice is never seen it feels like
StrangeOne 2 months ago
My mom is the only one who saw all the sacrifices I made for my family. My daughter's dad and his parents only saw I didn't make enough sacrifices.
Power puff scientist 2 months ago
This always seems frustrating to me for women. It seems husbands and society place a way bigger burden if responsibility on women in taking care of the family and the household. So many time you hear stories of husbands not pulling their weight in the house/family.
wowbagger 2 months ago
A lot of the work women do, in the family or in other kinds of jobs, isn't seen. It's chalked up as being "natural" for women to be good at nurturing, child rearing, customer service, diplomacy, etc. And therefore it's easy and isn't really work.
SchadenFreudian Psychology 2 months ago
🏆 Like it was “natural” to wear corsets back in the 1800s.
Load More Replies... Little Bit 2 months ago
Quite often, the more you do, the less you're appreciated and people (including your nearest and dearest) see you as a robot that just keeps going 24/7, or some kind of creature that doesn't have any needs or feelings.
katiekat0214 2 months ago
I for one don't believe in sacrificing myself, which always sounded to me like setting myself on fire to keep others warm. This is NOT the way. I also believe in surrounding myself with people who are appreciative, also givers, and who gas each other up and brag on each other. Don't be with takers or those who take you for granted in the first place.
The_Nicest_Misanthrope 1 month ago (edited)
I felt this one. As the eldest child, I regularly bend over backwards to help my parents and extended family. I once had to move an entire house, three times, BY MYSELF over a 2 month period, whilst working full time and caring for my mum. Yet when I asked my dad if he could give me a hand moving my bedframe, he told me that it was more important to get his garage machinery over, and that I could just wait a few more days before moving in (I'd been sleeping on a mattress on the floor for a week by this point). All this after I'd destroyed my van and my back moving HIS heavy stuff! He'd never have said that to my younger brother in a million years (no, my brother didn't help as he was abroad at the time). Dad did later go on to thank me, but his level of unkindness at the time was staggering!
#33
That no matter how much in life you accomplish for yourself, you’ll always only be measured by if you’re “married” and if you’re a “mother”
StrangeOne 2 months ago
I do want to say single moms get a lot of kudos when they go back to school, get a job, do anything. Meanwhile, single moms are doing the same thing other women are doing. The only difference is that they have to get their kids ready and out the door and off to daycare or school. It's still amazing when any women accomplishes anything. But I think the single moms get praised for things that are generally mundane or typical.
L Sarris 1 month ago
WOW, i do not have that experience. Single moms have no support at home, do all the work and make all the income. They are shamed for not being married and have almost no support from the schools or the public. Single Dads get a parade if they know one of their kids' friends' names.
Load More Replies... katiekat0214 2 months ago
Nah, I'm one who knew from single digits that I wanted to be married and never wanted to be a parent, and that's how my life turned out, very much how I planned it. I personally have just always had super antipathy toward any traditional, conservative, conventional types, esp growing up here in the American Deep South. Anyone who judges me for living life on my terms to suit myself can stuff it, and I've said as much to many conservative, traditional types. Again, find your people, your tribe. Those types of ppeople are just so not ever my type. Judge me, get judged back, and told off, and dumped.
#34
Sales men literally will not look or listen to you if you're there with your male partner.
Tim Richards 2 months ago
Oh boy...this one hits a little bit. My wife went car shopping, and I went with her. We walked into a place looking for a nice, used convertible, and the salesperson (male) came up to me, introduced himself to me, and asked how he could help us. I said, "My wife is the one doing the buying, so you should talk to her." Meanwhile, he keeps asking me questions, and I try to divert him to my wife again. He kept going, and my wife - who is literally the kindest person I have ever met - is visibly seething. I asked if she wanted to leave, and she, of course, said yes. The guy is confused, and I just told him, "I tried to tell you three times, and you just f****d it up."
kaycee14 2 months ago
Ugh, this is nearly identical to my experience when I went shopping for my first car after graduating college. So many salesmen wanted to talk to my dad rather than me. If they didn't turn their attention to me after being told I was the buyer, we'd just leave.
Load More Replies... katiekat0214 2 months ago
Oh, but this is SUCH a fun game! The Trickster in me comes out, and with a willing male accomplice, this can be such a fun, nasty little game, to force him to pay attention to me, to watch the dim, dawning realization that the man is just along for the ride, and I control the purchase in every way. I adore this game.
Fire Singer 2 months ago
Admittedly I do too. I've noticed a huge shift lately where more men are paying attention to me for sales and such, but when they don't and only talk to my husband I love when they go through their whole spiel only for my husband to say, "I don't know, you should really talk to my wife she's the one making decisions here." And they have to start all over again pretending not to dislike me!
Load More Replies... Lil Nitemare 2 months ago
Not true for me. It's like they know that I can be talked into buying anything 🤦🏼♀️😂
#35
Men don’t LIKE women.
They like what they signify—a wife, house, kids—signifies success.
But I don’t think most men genuinely LIKE women.
Power puff scientist 2 months ago
I don't generally think this is true. Probably everyone knows a few if these guys but i think the average Guy doesn't dislike women. I have so many good female friends.
Mel in Georgia 2 months ago
As a woman, I agree with you. Maybe I've been lucky, but most of the men in my life, including my married son and husband, like women for themselves and have them as friends.
Load More Replies... Anthony Elmore 2 months ago
This is one of very few posts I'll actually strongly disagree with. Most men don't get over excited about having kids and are perfectly fine with living in a hovel with their partner. We also tend not to care about the concept of just having a wife. for the sake of having a wife. There are subsections of men that do enjoy status symbols and care about this sort of thing, mostly among richer men, but most men don't view the person they're dating or married to as just a symbol of doing well. Specifically, what most men lke about a particular woman is that they feel happy with them. Now, that part can get toxic. If the only thing that makes the guy happy is s*x... there's going to be problems, but more often than not, guys actually feel very happy when they can make their partner happy, too. Most men actually do require an emotional connection with their partner to be happy, and we could honestly care less about what something signifies.
SchadenFreudian Psychology 2 months ago
It depends. Does the man in your life act like he’s the director of a movie, and get pîssed off when you don’t act like the role he’s cast you in? Then he doesn’t really like you, as yourself. If you deviate from the script and he’s pleasantly surprised, and willing to adapt—he respects you.
katiekat0214 2 months ago
Those types of troglodytes can die mad and alone then as they should. Just never be around someone who is like this. There are midly evil ways to turn this against them, though, and that's when the game gets fun. If you have to work with this type of low-life, just getting them to out themselves to others, and watching them slowly be iced out and called on less and less is glorious.
Tim Richards 2 months ago
B******t. Some men are arrogant morons, but you can easily reverse this statement, and I'm sure it would be offensive. Women don't like men. They like what they signify - a provider, house, kids - signifies success. But I don't think most women genuinely like men.
SchadenFreudian Psychology 2 months ago
I like everybody….at first. Whatever gender. But if they turn out to be an åsshole, I stop liking them. 🤷🏻♀️
Load More Replies... #36
That after years of working, raising kids and managing most of the household chaos… I am becoming invisible…
Little Bit 2 months ago
I quite enjoy being invisible. Now my kids are growing up I find I occasionally have a little time to do exactly as I please. Normally I spend my Saturdays doing household chores and running round after everybody else, but last Saturday my hubby went out for the day with his mates, my eldest daughter was at her boyfriend's and my youngest daughter was gaming. I thought what the hell. I'm going to do something that I enjoy instead of doing stuff for everybody else. I went for a lovely long nature walk and then later put my feet up and listened to my playlist. It was liberating and I felt so relaxed for once.
SchadenFreudian Psychology 2 months ago
Use the newfound time and freedom to do things YOU want to do.
#37
Very little community for us. Men want to sleep with us, other women want to sabotage us.. very few genuine people who don’t have ulterior motives.
Grumpy old man 2 months ago
Clique. Before those two guys ttry to correct you. I also dont fit. All I want is to work, get paid, go home. I'm not a team player, Im not a kissass. I could never work for Drumpf or Felon. I would never advance. I believe in merit, not good ol boys. Men have this problem too. Thats why those two surround themselves with yes men, and "alphabois" want to be like them. Men like me are on your side, but you have to trust us.
Load More Replies... Mel in Georgia 2 months ago
I'm sorry the OP hasn't found a community, or at least few core friends, who give her a sense of belonging and acceptance. They are out there. Join a volunteer group with a passion you share.
The Big Bad 2 months ago
Find a circle. Or start one. There are a lot of women who feel the same.
katiekat0214 2 months ago
This is where you make your own community. Keep the ones who are worthwhile, kind, and who have your back. Forget and trash the rest, men and women. That's simply leveling up in life, common sense, and an utter refusal to be a****d or to settle for less.
#38
anything I achieve in life will be downplayed or overshadowed by being pretty.
i’m so tired of the comments after conversations being:
“wow you’re *ACTUALLY* really intelligent/funny/nice/wise/etc”— almost is if they’re asking a question & scratching their heads about how there’s an actual brain & person with a life inside of my body.
Anthony Elmore 2 months ago
Yeah, I actually can't relate to this one. Not just for being male but I feel like this one requires a positive body image to appreciate fully. I can at least appreciate people not taking you seriously, though.
#39
That even when we act defensive or avoid men cause of fear they will call us ridiculous
Black Cat 2 months ago
What gets me is that even on BP you can say you dont feel safe around men etc and men will get indignant and angry at you the woman for not tryusting men rather than all the creeps who give all men a bad name and who have made women so distrustful. The lack of basic empathy from men makes us think they hate women.
katiekat0214 2 months ago
Let them. Let them out themselves as unsafe, unkind, unempathetic, and then let and leave them alone. Our absence is a lesson if they choose to learn it.
Anthony Elmore 2 months ago
That's because they're offended. No one wants to be viewed as a monster. Even if its's understandable and for very good reason. Even among the men aware of the good reason, you still have to feel like a monster and don't quite know how to deal with it.
#40
PCOS has made me into this "man" that everyone wants to swear I am. No, it is a hormonal disorder 🙃
Power puff scientist 2 months ago
I had to Google: Polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) is a common condition that affects your hormones.
#41
That a man, will always and I mean always want something from you. Whether family friend or lover
Ashtophet 2 months ago
This is true for any other human you interact with, regardless of gender.
roddy 2 months ago
I don't think this is true. I have friends who only want to give, never receive.
Load More Replies... katiekat0214 2 months ago
So what? You're in charge of what you give, how much you give, and when. Don't set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm. Givers need to set limits because takers have none. And let those limits be a test to see if that person is worth keeping around, or needs to be LC/NC. Surround yourself with those who give back. Overall just dump takers.
#42
Men hate women. Men think they are superior to and better than women.
Power puff scientist 1 month ago
why did this get two downvotes? you just said men don't hate women and think they are superior or vice versa...
Load More Replies... #43
That other women will never stop reminding me to be scared
And use it to stop me
And tell me it's for my own good
As if I don't get enough fear naturally
That's not my place and we agree
So stop telling me so and insisting
Not to be insensitive
Just honest
That's how I deal
katiekat0214 2 months ago
I'm a solo female world traveler and have been to 29 countries. I just hold up a hand, and say, "I live my life, not my fears." That shuts them up and shuts them down, which is what I want anyway. Don't allow others to project their fears and insecurities onto you.
#44
That I was born into a culture that uses the solar calendar and orients time linearly, utterly divorced from nature, literally putting me at fundamental odds with my own biology.
And it's just accepted, the justice of it not questioned.
Mel in Georgia 2 months ago
Yeah, so the world should accommodate your personal calendar?
Load More Replies... katiekat0214 2 months ago
You can go along with a dominant paradigm on the surface, but then also choose your own way to honor nature. Use the wheel of the year. Mark your period with a lunar calendar. Delve into women's history and matriarchy. Nothing is stopping you.
sofacushionfort 2 months ago (edited)
It’s the patriarchy in action: time should be measured lunar according to women’s menstruation. Instead it’s solar, because men used their erections as sundials. Look it up!
SchadenFreudian Psychology 2 months ago
They used their erections as sundials? 😂😂😂 Oh, the mental images!!
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#45
We will be betrayed by everyone we love at some point in our live and there is nothing we can do to prevent it from happening. It doesn't matter what we did or did not before. We can only move on from that point.
Power puff scientist 2 months ago
If literally everyone in your life betrayed you something else Might be wrong.
Tim Richards 2 months ago
Agreed. If everyone "betrays" you, maybe do a little internal soul-searching.
Load More Replies... #46
That as a BLACK WOMAN, most white women are not only NOT SAFE, but actively harmful to me.
KnightOwl86 2 months ago
Wtf? How exactly? What exactly do white women do that is dangerous to black women? I have friends of different races, religions and a range of different cultures and I've never heard any of them say anything remotely like this.
roddy 2 months ago
In my experience women are more likely to side together when threatened by men. Regardless of age, color, or nationality. Especially if children are involved. I'll always sit next to a woman rather than a man, and I don't care if we color match. She is more likely to be someone I can trust than he is.
Anthony Elmore 2 months ago (edited)
Ok, I need you to remember this indignation, because I imagine it's very similar to how men respond when you're cautious around them. Poster isn't wrong, there's a lot of white people that are not safe for black people to trust. She's just being cautious for her own safety, even if it's probably over generalization. Her concern isn't completely unjustified, but god does it suck bearing the brunt of it when you know full well that you're trying to contribute to a world where she doesn't have to fear white people. I don't get any schadenfreude out of people being bothered by her statement, but this is a very good teachable moment.
SchadenFreudian Psychology 2 months ago
Black women have to be cautious of things that white women don’t even need to think about.
What do you think ?
Mel in Georgia 2 months ago
Am I naive? Protected? Lucky? I've experienced my share of terrible men in my 60+ years but also know that most have been pretty awesome. I'm glad to have been born in a time when women, despite having to work harder and smarter, have had the opportunity to succeed in careers. It wasn't always the case. Believe in yourselves, ignore the a$$holes and find your support crew!
SchadenFreudian Psychology 2 months ago
Yes, it’s (for now, anyway) better than it used to be. That doesn’t mean it can’t be better. Civilized countries have universal healthcare, free or low-cost education, parental leave, and good daycare. And in the U.S., Republicans are trying to take women’s rights backwards 100 years. Don’t get complacent.
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Earonn - 2 months ago
For me it's that I will always be 'punished' for being a woman. Did an apprenticeship, was 3rd best in my year (out of 90), but didn't get a job because "We don't employ women" (yeah, that was before mobile phones). Had to get a call centre job just to earn money at all. This is money I will always miss - money to spend, but also money that isn't paid into my pension. Same with promotions that men got for either doing the same as me or even for the work I did. Again: money I'm missing. And so on and so on. //// That I will never be safe from being ra/ped. Not at 89, not in hospital, not even when I'm dead ////// That we can get gang ra/ped as children, but if we develop and eating order because of that, 10 years later people will chastise us for "being so fat" and "a strain on the health care system".
SillyPandaBunny 2 months ago
That you will sacrifice so much for your child but they will only ever remember the negatives, like when you were exhausted and snapped at them or when you had to parent them and that meant saying no.
Earonn - 2 months ago
Did you apologise? Did you explain? Not accusing you, but I would have kept contact with my mother despite the actual neglect, if only she had said something like "I was depressed, I'm so sorry now". She never felt the need to explain or apologise, and that's why I cut that person out of my life.
Load More Replies... Mel in Georgia 2 months ago
Am I naive? Protected? Lucky? I've experienced my share of terrible men in my 60+ years but also know that most have been pretty awesome. I'm glad to have been born in a time when women, despite having to work harder and smarter, have had the opportunity to succeed in careers. It wasn't always the case. Believe in yourselves, ignore the a$$holes and find your support crew!
SchadenFreudian Psychology 2 months ago
Yes, it’s (for now, anyway) better than it used to be. That doesn’t mean it can’t be better. Civilized countries have universal healthcare, free or low-cost education, parental leave, and good daycare. And in the U.S., Republicans are trying to take women’s rights backwards 100 years. Don’t get complacent.
Load More Replies... Earonn - 2 months ago
For me it's that I will always be 'punished' for being a woman. Did an apprenticeship, was 3rd best in my year (out of 90), but didn't get a job because "We don't employ women" (yeah, that was before mobile phones). Had to get a call centre job just to earn money at all. This is money I will always miss - money to spend, but also money that isn't paid into my pension. Same with promotions that men got for either doing the same as me or even for the work I did. Again: money I'm missing. And so on and so on. //// That I will never be safe from being ra/ped. Not at 89, not in hospital, not even when I'm dead ////// That we can get gang ra/ped as children, but if we develop and eating order because of that, 10 years later people will chastise us for "being so fat" and "a strain on the health care system".
SillyPandaBunny 2 months ago
That you will sacrifice so much for your child but they will only ever remember the negatives, like when you were exhausted and snapped at them or when you had to parent them and that meant saying no.
Earonn - 2 months ago
Did you apologise? Did you explain? Not accusing you, but I would have kept contact with my mother despite the actual neglect, if only she had said something like "I was depressed, I'm so sorry now". She never felt the need to explain or apologise, and that's why I cut that person out of my life.
Load More Replies...
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