Most of us say "yes" when asked if we want to hear the truth. And it seems like a good idea at first that will ultimately help us improve and become our best. But there’s something about having it shoved in our face that is so unbearably revolting, only the most courageous dare to swallow it.
Thanks to the redditor who posted the question “What is an absolute truth that no one wants to hear?” on r/AskReddit and received 11.8k comments, we now know what people hold as some of the most difficult truths. So hold on tight, ‘cause it ain’t gonna be an easy ride, and you won’t surely have a place to hide.
You have an option to either endure them and survive the post, becoming a better self, or to ignore them and move on. Whatever you choose, I feel you. No one was born ready to come to terms with things like “Just because someone is related to you doesn't mean they are a good person” and “It is possible to make no mistakes and still lose.” And I mean it.
Just because someone is related to you doesn't mean they are a good person.
“It is possible to make no mistakes and still lose. That is not failure that is life.”
-Captain Jean Luc Picard
Getting people to see what’s right in front of their face is not easy. This is largely due to the fact that we, as humans, hate hearing the truth. It’s especially true when we are dealing with truths that involve something we need to improve or work on.
To find out more about why so many of us don’t feel comfortable around hard-to-swallow truths, Bored Panda reached out to Susan Petang, a certified life coach who runs The Quiet Zone Coaching. Susan is helping those who struggle with stress find relief, manage their fears, and build self-confidence so they can wake up happy in the morning.
Susan said that if the truth is something we don’t agree with, it will be uncomfortable to hear it because it all has to do with our core beliefs and values, and the way we view the world. “When what we believe to be true about ourselves, situations, other people, or the world, in general, is at odds with what we observe, the result is cognitive dissonance—when our beliefs and our observations are at odds. This can cause considerable stress,” she explained.
Vaccines don’t cause autism.
They help stop the spread of the disease. They are not a cure, the just allow you to have a lower chance to catch the virus, which helps lower the chances of the virus spreading.
There is no inherent justice in this world.
Bad things will happen to good people, and good things will happen to bad people.
However, one has to be aware that perception can be an issue here too. “So, what I have experienced as 'truth' may not be what you have experienced as 'truth.' For example, one could say that the truth is that water boils at 212 degrees. Or does it? If you use the metric system, water boils at 100 degrees.”
Susan said that even though these two are the same, the perception, the semantics come across differently, and “what one individual might experience as truth wouldn't be truth to someone else.”
Susan warns that when you’re telling people something they don’t want to hear, it’s going to sound like a criticism. She suggests keeping that in mind and not being surprised if you get perceived as the one launching an attack.“
If you didn't vote but could have done so, you have no right to complain about our elected officials.
No-one wants to hear your [crappy] music in public, especially in class.
That being said, the first step is to remember kindness and the Golden Rule. How would you want to be told that something you believe isn't true?” Susan suggests thinking about your tone in communication, which should be kind, respectful, and encouraging.
Moreover, you may use reflective listening. “For example, you could say, 'It sounds like you see grass as pink,' or 'I'm hearing that you think crocodiles make great pets.' You can also add, 'Tell me how you came to that conclusion,' or 'I'm curious as to how you formed that opinion.'"
Susan encourages using expressions like "It sounds like..." "I'm hearing that..." "You seem to feel..." "I'm noticing that..."It’s also important to phrase the truth in a way that doesn’t undermine others.
And also, it's important to agree to disagree, since “even after you have (calmly!) stated the truth, someone else still might not accept it,” she concluded.
Just because you’ve done something wrong in the past, doesn’t mean you can’t advocate against it.
As long as we fail to protect and provide for all children in our society, we will continue to suffer the crimes of the damaged adults we produce. We have no right to expect any different, and we deserve everything that we get.
Mark Murphy, the author of "Truth At Work: The Science Of Delivering Tough Messages," suggests that cognitive dissonance is to blame. It occurs when someone holds two psychologically inconsistent beliefs (or attitudes or opinions) that create unpleasant mental tension.
Murphy explains: “If you've ever been in a conversation with someone who just couldn't, or wouldn't, hear the truth, no matter how many ways you tried to explain it, or who reacted so badly to the truth that you regretted saying anything at all, you've likely witnessed someone who was experiencing cognitive dissonance.”
This is because such a reaction is a way of lessening psychological tension and reducing anxiety when people face something that contradicts their existing beliefs, attitudes, and opinions.
In reality, no human brain would ever enjoy receiving information that doesn’t help ourselves in the sense that it makes our lives more difficult or threatens our self-esteem, status, and public image. And it seems that the saying “truth hurts” wasn’t born out of nowhere.
People don't think about you anywhere near as much as you think they do.
You're supposed to care deeply about the things in your own life, and other people not caring about them doesn't make them less important.
This is one of the things Instagram culture has taken away from us -- the idea that you're doing great even if nobody likes the photos of the breakfast you made or knows who you are.
For most of human history, most of our emphasis and energy was spent on our families and immediate communities. Now we're all flailing to "matter" to a bunch of strangers we probably wouldn't like in person and it's wrecking our brains.
No matter how nice you are, people will still just be a**holes to you just cuz.
Just because someone is related to you, doesn't mean you have to like or tolerate them. Sometimes for people, friends are your true family because they accept you for who you are. They choose to stick around with you. Not because they have to.
I don't speak to my abusive father and never will again, nor his side of the family. I'm estranged from one of my sisters already and I don't like most of my extended family. I do not appreciate their morals.
You won't lose much at all by cutting some family ties (circumstances depend though, ofc). You'll be much happier in the long run once you establish your life, who you are and what you need/want for your future.
Civil debate is a must. You gotta stay respectful, open-minded, and civil, even if you loathe the views of the other side with a passion.
Even though you think your kids are special, they are most likely just average.
After a generation or two after your death, no one alive will have any memories of you. Your life, everything you did, and all of your struggles and achievements will all be forgotten. You’ll just be another one of the billions of forgotten souls whose names, faces, and life stories have all been lost to time.
You need to have your views challenged.
Being around and positively engaging with people who disagree with you is one of the healthiest intellectual practices we can do.
You can't control what happens to you, only how you react to it.
Just because you helped someone doesn't mean they are going to help you. People are ungrateful more often than not.
You cannot go through life without experiencing some type of pain/discomfort. Physical and emotional. It is necessary for growth.
Things are going to keep getting worse on our planet and we are in for some serious human tragedy.
We don't know everything and probably never will.
So many of these are negative... So how about the truth that one of the best ways to be happy in life is by helping other people. People don't want to do it, because helping other people feels like you're losing out, but it's true.
It’s okay to be selfish sometimes.