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Most of us say "yes" when asked if we want to hear the truth. And it seems like a good idea at first that will ultimately help us improve and become our best. But there’s something about having it shoved in our face that is so unbearably revolting, only the most courageous dare to swallow it.

Thanks to the redditor who posted the question “What is an absolute truth that no one wants to hear?” on r/AskReddit and received 11.8k comments, we now know what people hold as some of the most difficult truths. So hold on tight, ‘cause it ain’t gonna be an easy ride, and you won’t surely have a place to hide.

You have an option to either endure them and survive the post, becoming a better self, or to ignore them and move on. Whatever you choose, I feel you. No one was born ready to come to terms with things like “Just because someone is related to you doesn't mean they are a good person” and “It is possible to make no mistakes and still lose.” And I mean it.

#1

Just because someone is related to you doesn't mean they are a good person.

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nanashi
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hate when they say "they can't be a bad person, they're [insert any religious person]'s child!". similar to you don't inherit Evil, you don't inherit Good either.

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#2

Don't believe everything you think.

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#3

“It is possible to make no mistakes and still lose. That is not failure that is life.”

-Captain Jean Luc Picard

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Hans
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And not accepting this is very depressing. Accepting this is very hard, though.

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Getting people to see what’s right in front of their face is not easy. This is largely due to the fact that we, as humans, hate hearing the truth. It’s especially true when we are dealing with truths that involve something we need to improve or work on.

To find out more about why so many of us don’t feel comfortable around hard-to-swallow truths, Bored Panda reached out to Susan Petang, a certified life coach who runs The Quiet Zone Coaching. Susan is helping those who struggle with stress find relief, manage their fears, and build self-confidence so they can wake up happy in the morning.

Susan said that if the truth is something we don’t agree with, it will be uncomfortable to hear it because it all has to do with our core beliefs and values, and the way we view the world. “When what we believe to be true about ourselves, situations, other people, or the world, in general, is at odds with what we observe, the result is cognitive dissonance—when our beliefs and our observations are at odds. This can cause considerable stress,” she explained.

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#4

Life is easier for attractive people.

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troufaki13
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As unjust as it is, it is also very true. Good looking people have to try a little less harder than the rest of us. Also, remember Jeremy Meeks? He became a model even though he served time in prison (assault and robbery I think)

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Clau Ramirez
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That is exactly what this post is about. If this Jeremy wasn't atractive, he wouldn't be famous

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Kevin Donegan
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have always been about 40 to 50 pounds overweight, short, and did not feel attractive which was reinforced by others. I am a 59 year old gay man. Three years ago I spent 4 months backpacking through India and dropped 50 pounds. A year later I got a "tummy tuck" to remove all the excess skin. I've been biking 25 miles a day and eating a vegetarian diet and have easily maintained my weight. As a younger person, I was an ugly duckling. I know that. Now as an active, in shape 59 year old man, my life has changed. I am routinely hit upon on dating apps by men 20 and 30 years younger than me who are buff. I had no idea what life was like when others perceived you as attractive. I love being 59, I love how I look, I love the attention, I love life. Yes, life is easier for attractive people.

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Monday
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Very true. But for those of us who didn't win the genetic lottery, dressing in clean clothes an paying attention to personal hygiene can go a long way too. The pretty person gets the job first, the well-kept person gets the next shot.

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Titas Burinskas
BoredPanda Staff
Verified
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Life is easier for attractive people where attractiveness plays a factor in life. But the same can go with any merit. I.e. Life is easier for smarter people where smarts are concerned. Life is just easier when you have merits.

khairunisaasyikinnoordin avatar
nanashi
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

rather than saying that Life is Easier for attractive people, it's more like it's easy for them to make an impression and open more doors and opportunities. this also applies to rich people.

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Stannous Flouride
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

But, especially for attractive women, getting others to look past their beauty and take them seriously can be very frustrating. Hedy Lamarr came up with radio frequency hoppoing that could have given American torpedoes an un-jammable radio control and which today makes data transmission and the internet possible. When she went to the Navy top brass to show them they ignored her and told her to go sell War Bonds, She said that overall her beauty closed more doors she wanted to pass through than it opened.

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Aamna Shah
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not always. I almost became a victim of child sexual abuse because of the way I looked. Yes, attractive people might get jobs easily and that's unfair. They get more options to choose their partners from but ultimately, beautiful people suffer in life as well. From the outside looking in, it might not always seem that way but suffering and struggle isn't only about the way you look.

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Stille20
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I disagree. Being attractive gives you certain advantages, but it's like being naturally smart and then actually have to work hard when you hit college.. you aren't ready for the challenge.

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CatWoman312
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not necessarily I know plenty of attractive people who are flat out losers. Money always helps. Ugly people can get by as long as they’re rich. Take Jeff Bezos for example

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Aggalix
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Although another fact is that people find confidence more attractive than physical beauty, (which is dictated by cultural standards anyway)

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Jane Alexander
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not all pretty people want the kind of attention 'pretty' can draw and Pretty can lose her /his job for not giving in to the boss s 'attention'

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Elaine Mattingly
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Two jobs lost in the so called good old days when No meant, No I won't and No I don't want the job. Things have changed , some.

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Gayle Lowe Brown
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A couple of years ago I changed my diet and lost 60 lbs. The diet also helped my skin clear up and made my hair look great. I was surprised how I was longer invisible when I became a size 4. When I was a size 22 people just pretty much ignored me.

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More!
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Life is not easier for attractive people, that is over-generalising. Attractive people might be presented with opportunities due to their looks, but that won’t always be easer.. Say you’re a beautiful waitress and a hugely famous rockstar is in your bar, he takes a liking to you because you are so attractive, he asks you on a date,. You have a great personality, empathy and intelligence and he asks you to marry him and you do, but a year later he cheats, takes drugs and beats you. You don’t just breeze through that ‘life’ because you’re hot. Life has its ups and downs, even for attractive people. It’s not ‘easier’ to deal with sorrow, pain, failure, anxiety, stress or rejection, etc. just because you are beautiful.

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Mimi M
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm a pretty attractive person. I've also had a very hard life.

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Elaine Mattingly
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We all need to admit the truth, of all the articles , all the animals we have seen on this sight who got the most up votes , the grinning possium or the growling scary ones. Mimi had a hard life even though attractive but she didn't complain she stated a fact.

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pusheen buttercup
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Quit hating on attractive people. If it is not ok to hate on someone for being "unattractive," it is not ok to hate on them for being "attractive." It's also not ok to hate on people for looking average. One of the hardest things for attractive people is everyone automatically assumes you need to be taken down a peg because you have one advantage in one area, when they don't realize you've already been taken down twenty pegs simply for how you look, you become a target for envy and hatred and everyone wants to take you down a peg to feel powerful so they can say they've bested the pretty person. Also people sexually objectify you and think you haven't actually put in work to get where you are, you couldn't possibly have struggled or fought. Beautiful people lead very sad lives with a sadness others REFUSE to see.

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Luthian
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree that it is not okay to 'take attractive people down a peg' and every single person can have a different experience. I don't think this is what this post is about, it is about treating people equally. It is a well-documented principle that attractive people are more likely to be successful in job applications, are considered to be more able employees, more intelligent, and more trustworthy. Disturbingly attractive people are also more likely to be declared innocent of a crime and if declared guilty, receive shorter sentences. I am speaking broadly not of individual circumstances.

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D. Pitbull
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Too true. I used to have a friend... who I'd have to just pass notes/messages to so she'd say the idea/answer/suggestion/response - because if I said it, it was ridiculed/mocked/put down... but the moment she said things, it was seen as 'the greatest idea ever!'

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Elaine Mattingly
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Did you frown when you said it expecting rejection? Did she smiile expecting an honest response? BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF.

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JV
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

SO TRUE. And I insist on the word "easier" - not "easy". In general, attractive people are better looked at and treated. Case in point: When I was around 14-15, our French teacher had warned us that if we had gum when doing presentations, he would give us zero as a grade. A new kid comes in from another school. She's pretty - all the guys want to go out with her. Comes presentations day in French class. She's chewing gum during her presentation. The teacher DOES NOT make her fail. That's when I realized that life is not fair and that I was doomed.

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TigerDRena
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Maybe the teacher let it slip because she was new and might have not been accustomed to the rule?

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Suzi Orozco-Neu
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Of course, on the flip side, an easier life is not necessarily a better life

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Koalamonster
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is just saying a person who is traditionally attractive has some things easier. They do. I'm not even super pretty, but I've been called "adorable" multiple times in my adult life, and when my hair is braided and I've got a cute dress on- people are nicer. People are more patient, they're more polite, they just treat me better in general. I can't imagine being a super symmetrical gorgeous person. Their interactions with people must be... so odd. It's the whole thing where if a handsome man tells you you look nice today you say thank you, if a guy who has an off-putting face says you look nice you get off the bus at the next stop even if it's not yours. People are nicer to you and more accepting of you when you're attractive.

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Elaine Mattingly
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

True. As you said, when you put forth effort, dress and braided hair people treat you nicer. You don't look that different you show more confidence!

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Sori
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So so true, always been passed over by more classically attractive people... But for reals its those that look past are the ones worth keeping around... (At least thats what I tell myself

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Mari
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

also harder lol, but while things are mostly easier for attractive people, it can also be a lot harder. obviously a not-so-attractive person will have a WAY lower chance or getting catcalled, kidnapped, raped (honestly rape is kinda (40/60) finding an ACTUAL soulmate, because people will just want you for your looks, people just assuming what sort of person you are, some even assume your just a pretty person that don't know anything when in fact you get straight A's...(dumb blonde) but you know...it can also be easier...i totally agree. (don't start saying that i don't agree with this, becuase i do :))

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Larry Dahle
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Unfortunately, yes it is, for the most part... Such is Life... 😕

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Diana Cartwright
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Absolutely! It opens doors and it awakens better feelings in other people. Easier all the way.

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Lily Mae Kitty
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

oh yeah. as a formerly attractive person I can attest. Not a raving beauty but attractive and now 59 and a bit overweight. I am now invisible to most.

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Rita Shapiro
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm thinking of Janis Ian's song.... I learned the truth at 17. Every less-than-attractive girl learns this in her gut at a young age. From finding love and friends to finding a job or getting that sweet rental unit... the pretty girl has an almost insurmountable advantage. I'm sure it's the same for men.

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Max L.
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People is attractive when they spread positivity, it’s not just beauty, but an average of factors. Id rather prefer to spend a date with a funny person whatever they look than with the nastiest top model looking one.

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Jaded Queen
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

First off all. Positivity is a bullshit phenomenon. It need to be balanced by the negativity. 2nd just coz someone is funny doesn't mean they r not attractive, many popular ppl r attractive so they also learn inheritantly to be the life of the party. And just coz someone is pretty doesn't mean they r nasty to the extent of obvious. Also it's not a black or white ,all or none phenomenon. As u live u learn to hide. Many 'influencers' I met r shitty pretty ppl,but they can be nice/fun for long durations when needed. They r good company. I would give them job but not friendship. They r likelbale and lookable.

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Levi Baker
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Attractive people get all the attention its not fair. But its true. We, as average people, are constantly comparing ourselves to the attractive ones. But one thing we need to remember is that we are all beautiful no matter what we say to ourselves or what other people say to us.

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Steve Barnett
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Here's a stand-up routine by Doug Stanhope that exemplifies this pertinent comment. Beware, there is profanity https://www.facebook.com/truecomedyaustralia/videos/938484352980522

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Chris Challis
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

attractive people and that varies according to the onlooker, are often targets for jealousy, sexual assault , harrassment and resentment... Beauty can have its own perils. Once that fades and it does, some dont have any other resources to rely on... So intelligence, commonsense has to be there as well for any advantage...

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Max L.
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Usually says unactractive people blaming others because they aren’t, like if it’s somebody else fault. If you don’t like yourself first how can somebody else like you ?

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Sarah Tyrrell
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Life is easier for attractive 'men'. For women deemed attractive, they're lucky if they make it to their mid twenties without PTSD, several molestation stories, and s**t ton of emotional baggage to work through.

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TigerDRena
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There are ups and downs to being "more attractive" in the eyes of people. It feels very ignorant to generalize this so much and claim "life is easier for attactive people". The majority of the reasonings I've read for this are all connected to finding a partner. What about that generally, attractive people have to fight with sexual harrassment more often? That if they get attention, some do not want that attention and feel uncomfortable? That people often make assumptions based on their looks? Honestly I'd rather change this to "Life may be easier for rich people".

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Josurf
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I disagree : people tend to think that beautiful people are shallow and/or dumb. You might get better tips when you are a waitress (but also more hassle from pushy customers), but if you are working in a job that needs a higher qualification your attractiveness suddenly becomes a handicap, and you are not taken seriously.

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Maureen Matthew
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

But we should also not endow them with more intelligence than they really have

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Margot Artner
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That very much depends on your disposition. As an attractive person I had easier access to certain groups and jobs, but in those days, being pretty also implied to most people, that you are an easy pray and only a pretty face. It took much greater efforts to convince them otherwise, but then they were put off by the brains - for being put on the spot! haha Two generations later, we live in a youth dominant society, when wrinkles and some grey hair seem to make you less acceptable. May all this change, for the sake of sanity!

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Billy the kid
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

im 50/50 on this one. it is if you dont know the person but if you do know the person then it comes down to their personality

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Camil Gagnon
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I love this one. Loads of people say things like appearances don't matter or that unattractive are actually beautiful, when they clearly aren't even from an objective point of view. But in the ends, even they are all over super attractive people, giving them more attention and privileges. Unattractive people are practically invisible.

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Charles O
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes it is. If you're lucky enough to have "won" the genetic lottery, coming out beautiful, handsome, or whatever, people will flock around you, you'll very quickly get plugged into social circles the "less attractive" people will never have access to, and so on. This absurd shallowness in valuation often leads to ridiculously bad choices in relationships, business ventures, etc.

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Melissa Powell
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

have worn very heavy magnifying eyeglasses my whole life. I think they made me not so attractive. I met the best guy and AF fighter pilot and married him. Best life until it wasn't. Lived in Germany for 3 years, it was great. Spent an anxious year getting thru Vietnam. Lived in Hawaii for 3 years. Moved to Almagordo NM. I hated it, he loved it. Took my 2 boys and moved to AZ and CA.

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Elaine Mattingly
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I dyed my hair blond and was surprised at how people treated me so much better. I got tired as a natural redhead of people telling me and believing it that I was hot tempered! It was a nice , peaceful break.

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BusLady
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ha ha. Now I can blame all my failures on my looks. :-)

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Nina Khmielnitzky
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

True. I wish I had been attractive to marry rich and enjoy a life of leisure.

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Liam Walsh
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sorry but nah. Using your looks to get the rich person isn't an achievement. This post is about attractive people being the ones offered the job, the promotion and getting all the chances amongst those of equal talent but 'lesser' looks. It isn't about using your looks to marry for money. I know a woman who did that and of course none of her marriages stood a chance. She's alone now and, whilst wealthy (thanks to the divorces) she's lonely and doesn't even have the memories of a happy, loving relationship to look back on. Marry for love and enjoy the people you share your life with - it's far more rewarding.

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Pipe Kasuko
Community Member
3 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

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Jaded Queen
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In extremely long duration,when u r looking for relationship or friendship. They get jobs easily, preferences easily, people run stupidly to cater to their every need. They don't need to ask but they will be showered by attention and opportunities.

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Damon Gates
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Or as I saw in a New Yorker cartoon, "Beauty is life's EZ Pass."

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soni w
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Seriously, everyone who commented here is ugly. Otherwise how would they know. If you're ugly you can go to the pub dressed nice and not have a train of dickheads Tryna get you. I NEVER go out anymore because I'm not ugly and it's just a barrage of harrassment even if I'm totally covered head to toe in my brother's clothes.

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Elaine Mattingly
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I commented, I am not ugly. It goes both ways. Too much attention from the kind of people you don't want to attract is tiresome. Harrassment is wrong in any shape, color, size pretty or ugly.

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pusheen buttercup
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Certain things might be easier, but every pro comes with its own set of cons. It's simply different cons. If you are attractive people will always hate you and never respect you. They think you aren't smart or can't be in charge, and you have to work TWICE as hard to prove it to them. The worst part of all is that this is an actual self-fulfilling prophecy, people think your life is easy because you are beautiful and assume you have never suffered, and that exact thing is part of what causes suffering. People see only your looks- the same exact thing is true for unattractive people. Being seen only for your looks is awful and miserable and beautiful people are the least happy individuals I have ever met.

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Suzi Gauthier
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In some ways, but not in others. They get harassed by others if they don't want to go out with them, sometimes in nasty or frightening ways. Some people won't hang out with them for fear of looking like the ugly one. Many love interests are focused on the physical looks instead of the personality or brain. When they get older they get made fun of (at least famous people) for how much older they look. If they have a bad day it's because they think they're so hot that they don't have to be nice. Creeps hit on you a lot more, and really nice people may not because they're so intimidated.

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Patrick McKemie
Community Member
3 years ago

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Suck it Uggooos! Wait, what!?! After further evaluation, this is unfair!

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Christian Miller
Community Member
3 years ago

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This one pisses me off. Not to sound arrogant but I'm attractive and life is anything but easy.

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Jaded Queen
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Point is if u really are u won't know the struggles or actual discrimination against us "ugly" done by people. Everybody's life is hard,but u won't understand the difference coz u have lived on the other side of it.

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AlphaPuck
Community Member
3 years ago

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False... life is easier for hard-working people

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Demi Zwaan
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sure, those people working 3 jobs just to be able to live have it so much easier than the pretty girl flying around the world with her personal assistant, walking the catwalk now and then...

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#5

Vaccines don’t cause autism.

They help stop the spread of the disease. They are not a cure, the just allow you to have a lower chance to catch the virus, which helps lower the chances of the virus spreading.

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#6

There is no inherent justice in this world.

Bad things will happen to good people, and good things will happen to bad people.

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David K
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Unfortunately true. Sometimes even dictators and murderers die peacefully.

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However, one has to be aware that perception can be an issue here too. “So, what I have experienced as 'truth' may not be what you have experienced as 'truth.' For example, one could say that the truth is that water boils at 212 degrees. Or does it? If you use the metric system, water boils at 100 degrees.”

Susan said that even though these two are the same, the perception, the semantics come across differently, and “what one individual might experience as truth wouldn't be truth to someone else.”

Susan warns that when you’re telling people something they don’t want to hear, it’s going to sound like a criticism. She suggests keeping that in mind and not being surprised if you get perceived as the one launching an attack.“

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#7

If you didn't vote but could have done so, you have no right to complain about our elected officials.

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WilvanderHeijden
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

True. Tired of hearing "My vote doesn't matter." Every vote matters because it contributes to the grand number that influences the elections. If 90% of the people refuse to vote, they are leaving the remaining 10% the powers to decide over their lives. That's how polls work. They just ask a small number of people "representing the people" and present the result as the peoples opinion. Remember how that blew up in so many faces in 2016? "Yeah, we're going to win so I don't have to vote..."

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#8

No-one wants to hear your [crappy] music in public, especially in class.

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#9

Having an opinion doesn't make you right.

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Amy Pattie
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I mean, the bubonic plague never went away, we just have treatment for it now.

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That being said, the first step is to remember kindness and the Golden Rule. How would you want to be told that something you believe isn't true?” Susan suggests thinking about your tone in communication, which should be kind, respectful, and encouraging.

Moreover, you may use reflective listening. “For example, you could say, 'It sounds like you see grass as pink,' or 'I'm hearing that you think crocodiles make great pets.' You can also add, 'Tell me how you came to that conclusion,' or 'I'm curious as to how you formed that opinion.'"

Susan encourages using expressions like "It sounds like..." "I'm hearing that..." "You seem to feel..." "I'm noticing that..."It’s also important to phrase the truth in a way that doesn’t undermine others.

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And also, it's important to agree to disagree, since “even after you have (calmly!) stated the truth, someone else still might not accept it,” she concluded.

#10

2021 will not magically be better than 2020.

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#11

Just because you’ve done something wrong in the past, doesn’t mean you can’t advocate against it.

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Niko Alarcon
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is what some people need to hear. I 100% agree with this statement, some of us dont know the harm we've done until later, but it doesnt mean its too late to prevent others from making the same mistake.

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#12

As long as we fail to protect and provide for all children in our society, we will continue to suffer the crimes of the damaged adults we produce. We have no right to expect any different, and we deserve everything that we get.

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RaroaRaroa
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Anyone who complains about people receiving benefits from the government needs to consider this. If we don't help them, their children have NO chance of doing better. We'd end up with people living in gated communities, hiding from the other part of society, afraid to go out. Parts of the world all ready live like that. I hope we never do.

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Mark Murphy, the author of "Truth At Work: The Science Of Delivering Tough Messages," suggests that cognitive dissonance is to blame. It occurs when someone holds two psychologically inconsistent beliefs (or attitudes or opinions) that create unpleasant mental tension.

Murphy explains: “If you've ever been in a conversation with someone who just couldn't, or wouldn't, hear the truth, no matter how many ways you tried to explain it, or who reacted so badly to the truth that you regretted saying anything at all, you've likely witnessed someone who was experiencing cognitive dissonance.”

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This is because such a reaction is a way of lessening psychological tension and reducing anxiety when people face something that contradicts their existing beliefs, attitudes, and opinions.

In reality, no human brain would ever enjoy receiving information that doesn’t help ourselves in the sense that it makes our lives more difficult or threatens our self-esteem, status, and public image. And it seems that the saying “truth hurts” wasn’t born out of nowhere.

#13

People don't think about you anywhere near as much as you think they do.

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RaroaRaroa
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ahh, but to the socially anxious, we still cringe over something dumb we said to someone 20 years ago. Something they no doubt forgot within a week.

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#14

You're supposed to care deeply about the things in your own life, and other people not caring about them doesn't make them less important.

This is one of the things Instagram culture has taken away from us -- the idea that you're doing great even if nobody likes the photos of the breakfast you made or knows who you are.

For most of human history, most of our emphasis and energy was spent on our families and immediate communities. Now we're all flailing to "matter" to a bunch of strangers we probably wouldn't like in person and it's wrecking our brains.

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WilvanderHeijden
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Except for the few that have discovered that life without Fakebook, Instagram and Twitter is much more enjoyable.

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#15

No matter how nice you are, people will still just be a**holes to you just cuz.

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WilvanderHeijden
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Some people will. It's not that all the people are a**holes all the time but you do get to meet the inevitable jerk or bitch, no matter how nice you are. It's up to you to decide if they are going to dictate how you interact with people. It still does take more muscles to frown than to smile.

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#16

Just because someone is related to you, doesn't mean you have to like or tolerate them. Sometimes for people, friends are your true family because they accept you for who you are. They choose to stick around with you. Not because they have to.

I don't speak to my abusive father and never will again, nor his side of the family. I'm estranged from one of my sisters already and I don't like most of my extended family. I do not appreciate their morals.

You won't lose much at all by cutting some family ties (circumstances depend though, ofc). You'll be much happier in the long run once you establish your life, who you are and what you need/want for your future.

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postboredom
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes, this. It is YOUR life, you can choose to cut the bad people, no matter who they are and how you know them

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#17

Life isn’t fair and you aren’t owed a damn thing.

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#18

Civil debate is a must. You gotta stay respectful, open-minded, and civil, even if you loathe the views of the other side with a passion.

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#19

Even though you think your kids are special, they are most likely just average.

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Amy Pattie
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

But everyone’s kids are special to them, and that is why love is so important.

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#20

You can’t make everyone happy.

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#21

After a generation or two after your death, no one alive will have any memories of you. Your life, everything you did, and all of your struggles and achievements will all be forgotten. You’ll just be another one of the billions of forgotten souls whose names, faces, and life stories have all been lost to time.

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#22

You need to have your views challenged.

Being around and positively engaging with people who disagree with you is one of the healthiest intellectual practices we can do.

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WilvanderHeijden
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3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We've come to a point that "positively engaging with people who disagree with you" has become impossible. Everything has become an "Either you're with me or you're against me"- issue. You can't criticize politicians or you're a leftist fool or a rightwing idiot. And the same goes for feminism, sexism, racism etc. etc. So we all persist in our views making any dialogue impossible.

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#23

You can't control what happens to you, only how you react to it.

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brandon sat
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

partial disagree here, i would say that you cant control EVERYTHING that happens to you

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#24

Just because you helped someone doesn't mean they are going to help you. People are ungrateful more often than not.

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Pawlise Glemtepassord
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hard truth. My BF is a volunteer firefighter, and do people ever thank him for getting up at random times in the night and sprinting to station just to break open that door for the medics or pump out floodwater or hauling some dumbass out of a smoked-up apartment? Usually, no. Sometimes the people he just rescued even choose to be mean. He gets pretty broken up about it sometimes, I make sure to thank him but it would be a whole different thing if the actual people in question would just say thanks sometimes. If a fire station ever helped you out, it's not too late to send a letter and simply say thank you. A lot of them are volunteers in many countries.

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#25

You cannot go through life without experiencing some type of pain/discomfort. Physical and emotional. It is necessary for growth.

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#26

Things are going to keep getting worse on our planet and we are in for some serious human tragedy.

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Hans
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is not universally true. In fact, many things are improving, at least when looked in decaded. Scientific progress. The fight of hunger (despite negative effects through corona). Medicine. People believing it ought to be worse anyway are a major contributor to it becoming worth, because, why should they care if they are doomed anyway?

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#27

We don't know everything and probably never will.

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David K
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That is not a hard to swallow fact (referring the title of this article). Don´t think that anyone aspires to know everything anyways :-)

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#28

So many of these are negative... So how about the truth that one of the best ways to be happy in life is by helping other people. People don't want to do it, because helping other people feels like you're losing out, but it's true.

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RaroaRaroa
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How does it feel like you're losing out? It always gives me a happy feeling.

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#30

Everyone's a hypocrite. Even you.

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Kim
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not true. Hard pill to swallow: Some people are actually genuine and true.

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