Most of us say "yes" when asked if we want to hear the truth. And it seems like a good idea at first that will ultimately help us improve and become our best. But there’s something about having it shoved in our face that is so unbearably revolting, only the most courageous dare to swallow it.

Thanks to the redditor who posted the question “What is an absolute truth that no one wants to hear?” on r/AskReddit and received 11.8k comments, we now know what people hold as some of the most difficult truths. So hold on tight, ‘cause it ain’t gonna be an easy ride, and you won’t surely have a place to hide.

You have an option to either endure them and survive the post, becoming a better self, or to ignore them and move on. Whatever you choose, I feel you. No one was born ready to come to terms with things like “Just because someone is related to you doesn't mean they are a good person” and “It is possible to make no mistakes and still lose.” And I mean it.

#1

Just because someone is related to you doesn't mean they are a good person.

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nanashi
Community Member
2 months ago

I hate when they say "they can't be a bad person, they're [insert any religious person]'s child!". similar to you don't inherit Evil, you don't inherit Good either.

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#2

Don't believe everything you think.

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Amy Pattie
Community Member
2 months ago

This one should be at the top, everyone should understand this.

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#3

“It is possible to make no mistakes and still lose. That is not failure that is life.”

-Captain Jean Luc Picard

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Hans
Community Member
2 months ago

And not accepting this is very depressing. Accepting this is very hard, though.

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Getting people to see what’s right in front of their face is not easy. This is largely due to the fact that we, as humans, hate hearing the truth. It’s especially true when we are dealing with truths that involve something we need to improve or work on.

To find out more about why so many of us don’t feel comfortable around hard-to-swallow truths, Bored Panda reached out to Susan Petang, a certified life coach who runs The Quiet Zone Coaching. Susan is helping those who struggle with stress find relief, manage their fears, and build self-confidence so they can wake up happy in the morning.

Susan said that if the truth is something we don’t agree with, it will be uncomfortable to hear it because it all has to do with our core beliefs and values, and the way we view the world. “When what we believe to be true about ourselves, situations, other people, or the world, in general, is at odds with what we observe, the result is cognitive dissonance—when our beliefs and our observations are at odds. This can cause considerable stress,” she explained.

#4

Life is easier for attractive people.

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troufaki13
Community Member
2 months ago

As unjust as it is, it is also very true. Good looking people have to try a little less harder than the rest of us. Also, remember Jeremy Meeks? He became a model even though he served time in prison (assault and robbery I think)

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#5

Vaccines don’t cause autism.

They help stop the spread of the disease. They are not a cure, the just allow you to have a lower chance to catch the virus, which helps lower the chances of the virus spreading.

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EA
Community Member
2 months ago

PREACH 🙌🏻

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#6

There is no inherent justice in this world.

Bad things will happen to good people, and good things will happen to bad people.

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David K
Community Member
2 months ago

Unfortunately true. Sometimes even dictators and murderers die peacefully.

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However, one has to be aware that perception can be an issue here too. “So, what I have experienced as 'truth' may not be what you have experienced as 'truth.' For example, one could say that the truth is that water boils at 212 degrees. Or does it? If you use the metric system, water boils at 100 degrees.”

Susan said that even though these two are the same, the perception, the semantics come across differently, and “what one individual might experience as truth wouldn't be truth to someone else.”

Susan warns that when you’re telling people something they don’t want to hear, it’s going to sound like a criticism. She suggests keeping that in mind and not being surprised if you get perceived as the one launching an attack.“

#7

If you didn't vote but could have done so, you have no right to complain about our elected officials.

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WilvanderHeijden
Community Member
2 months ago

True. Tired of hearing "My vote doesn't matter." Every vote matters because it contributes to the grand number that influences the elections. If 90% of the people refuse to vote, they are leaving the remaining 10% the powers to decide over their lives. That's how polls work. They just ask a small number of people "representing the people" and present the result as the peoples opinion. Remember how that blew up in so many faces in 2016? "Yeah, we're going to win so I don't have to vote..."

Baali Venomax
Community Member
1 month ago

i dont believe my vote matters anymore, im jaded but I still do it, so I can bitch about it when s**t happens. If you vote, you can bitch, if you didn't, you can't. Simple as that.

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Barry Parker
Community Member
2 months ago (edited)

I wholly disagree with this notion. The US voting system being a prime reason why this isn't really true. Voting in a rigged system, voting in a system where the people running don't represent you, or voting in a system where you can't actually have a voice does not remove the right and need for people to complain. Abstaining from voting when there is no one that reflects your views in the system is a legit statement and right of a person. Why should someone be forced to vote and support individuals they do not align with?

sabocat
Community Member
1 month ago

Thank you Barry Parker! Totally agree.

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Viktor Csabianszki
Community Member
1 month ago

False. It is quite possible that there were no acceptable options to vote for.

Raphael Biock
Community Member
2 months ago

I totally disagree. Especially now you see that people have to decide between two douchebags. Not to vote can be a statement as well. Especially if the system of politics supports corrupt and dishonest people. Of course you can complain about this, without supporting anyone with your vote who is part of this system.

sabocat
Community Member
1 month ago

THANK YOU!! I for one am sick and tired of this. If you strongly disagree with your country's system, representative democracy, or the electoral college, or you dislike any of the candidates, then HOW do you let your voice be heard?

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Jean Shultz
Community Member
2 months ago

Not true.... I didn't vote last time because I couldn't decide who was the least worst between two evils. In the United States, people's vote is called the "popular vote". The vote that makes the decision who goes into office is by the "Electoral College" and that is made a few elected officials for each state. Though Hilary won the "popular vote", Trump got the "Electoral College" vote.

Monday
Community Member
2 months ago

yes...because the US isn't a democracy. The amount of people who don't realise that is honestly staggering.

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tangy chip
Community Member
2 months ago

If you say, "one vote missing doesn't matter," then you are wrong, because 10 million other people said the same thing.

80 Van
Community Member
2 months ago

I don’t agree. In fact, even if you voted for someone and they were elected, you can still complain about them, especially if things didn’t turn it the way you were expecting. Shutting up everyone who didn’t vote or who voted for a particular candidate who are now trying to advocate for change will make it all the more likely that people in their spheres won’t vote.

Monday
Community Member
2 months ago

It doesn't matter who you voted for. If you voted you secure yourself the right to complain about it since you were involved. You made an effort to choose what you believed was the best option at the time. If you didn't vote (and were able to), you shouldn't be allowed to moan about it since you made no effort on your part to do anything about the situation.

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Monday
Community Member
2 months ago

Agreed. If you voted then by all means, complain all you want because at least you tried to change things.

Chelsea Winters
Community Member
1 month ago (edited)

I'm tired of people saying I can't complain if I don't vote. I can complain that there is no candidate worth voting for. This is the whole problem.

KT Pinto
Community Member
1 week ago

It's a shame that the media only focuses on two parties and not all the candidates.

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Łukasz Wydra
Community Member
1 month ago

I usually go and give an empty vote. I don't think any of those assholes deserves to win and I'm gonna show it.

F. H.
Community Member
1 month ago

Sorry, this is the kind of bull that makes me really angry! This statement is only true if you wanted to vote for a certain party or candidate but still didn't. Not voting can be a statement too, especially in countries where elections are manipulated. You can also find yourself in a situation where you can't see yourself represented by any of the candidates and will be unhappy with the outcome anyway. There are also situations where voting for the party you want will actually help the other side gain more votes due to complicated election systems (has been like that in Germany for some time). If you can't decide who to vote at all, not voting might also be a good idea, since what good is a vote randomly placed? So stop telling people that they have to vote! Vote if you are happy or unhappy with the current leaders and want to keep or change them.

Henry Tuttle
Community Member
2 months ago

And if I am complaining about the system itself? Where do I get to vote on that? I am not complaining about who got elected but about the system that makes useless figureheads of those we elect.

sabocat
Community Member
1 month ago

Hear hear Henry, thanks!

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andate him
Community Member
2 months ago

Actually, (at least in the US), you have every right to complain about the government, 'scalled the bill of rights

Emilingo
Community Member
2 months ago

I can't vote so all I can do is make fun of poloticians.

jamie1707
Community Member
2 months ago

I have been screaming that my entire adult life.

Barry Parker
Community Member
1 month ago

And you have been wrong your entire adult life.

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Jewels Vern
Community Member
1 month ago

That is like saying if you could have gone to another town and didn't, you have no right to complain about getting mugged.

Aggalix
Community Member
1 month ago

Absolute bollocks! NOBODY has the right to tell other people when they can and can't express their opinion! Yes, participating in the democratic process is important. And yes, it would seem hypocritical to moan about the results of a process that you chose not to be part of. But freedom of speech is the difference between a democracy and a totalitarian state!

Vicki Lockwood
Community Member
1 month ago

I’m so glad I live in a country where freedom, even freedom to not vote, and freedom of speech, are still paramount. Oh, wait! According to #8, that not true.

Evgeni Planb
Community Member
1 month ago

Actually, it's not true. I have right to complain even if I didn't vote because I pay taxes.

Leodavinci
Community Member
2 months ago

I've heard this my entire life and it's total BS. It's those who voted that screwed things up. This is just an attempt to shift/place blame. Voters are the ones who made the choice.

Chelsea Winters
Community Member
1 month ago

I can complain that there is no one who deserves to be voted for.

Christine Zanfino
Community Member
1 month ago

And yet, look what happened last election with the Electoral College. Hillary had the popular vote to win, but the Electoral College failed to do it's part in accordance to how the people voted

sabocat
Community Member
1 month ago

I am a conscientious objector. I am very politically engaged and active. I care! I even once went to the polling station to state why I didn't vote (they didn't care haha). To me it's not the candidates but the system that I would like to see changed. But in many countries, by law, parties are prohibited to attempt to change the form of government in which they exist. So how do I protest this system of representation, if not by not-voting?

RaroaRaroa
Community Member
2 months ago

Yes!

serge
Community Member
1 month ago

I say the same to people cheating on their taxes....if you don't pay you don't get a say...unless you become president of some country....

Fieke Engelen
Community Member
1 month ago

We have compulsory voting, I'm happy with that but some complain

Brant Johns
Community Member
1 month ago

upvote upvote upvote

Billy the kid
Community Member
1 month ago

i upvoted because you asked

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Mike Schneider
Community Member
1 month ago

My favorite quote after an election

Jamie S. Martindale
Community Member
1 month ago

George Carlin has a nice take on this topic, examining the other side of this coin.

Roxy Eastland
Community Member
1 month ago

OMG, exactly. Our last election (UK) I was trying to explain to some guy that said "they're all as bad as each other" to at least spoil his ballot paper. If people don't vote they are giving the government (local and national) carte blanche to do whatever they want. If a whole area has a low turn out then guess what, they will get less slice of the pie because the government thinks they aren't paying attention and don't care. On the other hand if an area has an above average percentage of spoilt ballot papers then all the parties will be forced to pay attention to what is going on there, put forward better candidates, etc. argh. Just write 'none of the above' or draw some genitalia. But make the effort to get to the polling station. It is very easy to vote in the UK, none of the terrible and bizarre problems I have heard of over the years in the US, and yet people can't be arsed. Don't you *dare* complain about anything you could have changed with a vote.

Norah Reilly
Community Member
2 months ago

Years ago, my youngest brother and I were engaged in a hot(ish) political debate when he asked me if I had voted. When I said, "No", he replied, "than you have no right to complain." 'Nuff said.

Barry Parker
Community Member
1 month ago

Not even close to 'nuff said. No one is obligated to vote for people that don't represent them. That kind of notion that you don't have a say unless you support someone that doens't align with your views is fundamentally flawed and ridiculous.

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Grumble O'Pug
Community Member
2 months ago

Worked on a democracy tv show and one guy who was a heavy participant never voted. Drove us crazy.

thepinkrobot
Community Member
2 months ago

lol

Nanny Doll
Community Member
2 months ago (edited)

First of all, it’s called freedom of speech. And for example... So because I’m not a parent but I could have been and your child is running around screaming, causing a scene and ripping things off people’s tables... I’m not allowed to complain? Also... doesn’t the electoral college have the ultimate say in the end... hence why trump won in the first place.

Koalamonster
Community Member
2 months ago

That's not the same thing. It's more like they held a vote and asked everyone if they could bring the kid inside and you and several others decided not to vote and then got mad when the kid got let in even though you didn't vote to keep them out. And he won in part because of the electoral college and in part because of gerrymandering.

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Billy the kid
Community Member
1 month ago (edited)

yeeeeep. people sit there moaning about the state of the country but then when you ask them who they voted for? "i didnt" i hate politics but i make sure i get my vote in. certain coutries you get beaten or shot for voting.

Barry Parker
Community Member
1 month ago

Maybe because voting for one of the two party system is just promoting the status quo and the broken system they are complaining about???...

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Dale Overturf
Community Member
1 month ago

Top post.

Valerie Page
Community Member
1 month ago

I've always thought that if you didn't vote then you voted for whoever won. It's always worth voting even if you know it's a protest vote due to where you live. It gives heart to the person for whom you vote too

Jaybird3939
Community Member
1 month ago

I've believed this for years. Sometimes, when someone is on their high horse, I asked if they voted. About half the time they say no. I tell them to shut their yap. The other ones that make me nuts are the ones who say they're not going to vote because they don't like either VP Biden or 45* (idiots). Well they aren't the only ones on the ballot!! Senate races, Gubernatorial races and local ordinances are all there as well. Don't be any bigger of an idiot than you can help.

JV
Community Member
1 month ago

Exactly

Nicole Tomme
Community Member
1 month ago

UPVOTE!

Michael J.
Community Member
2 months ago

yes, and no. corruption is rampant in voting....your vote doesn't really count any longer..butt...keep on truckin'

Lousha
Community Member
2 months ago

That would be true in a sort of democracy where I get to choose whatever/whoever I deem best to further my goals/ideals/principles. (Still wouldn't mean I wouldn't lose of course.) But as long as I get to vote on 2-5 random, equally filthy, s***y, useless, self-serving, two-faced candidates/parties who never in a million years will ever "represent" me or do anything I feel should be done I can very well express my contempt by not voting on any of them and still have every right to complain about whichever of them get to be in power. I have to take the consequences of me not voting, as in X, Y or Z getting into power. But I do not have to shut up about my opinion.

Mark Serbian
Community Member
2 months ago

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TRUE. But, when you vote, you contribute to a consensus. You reinforce the outcome. No matter which way it goes.

Tor Rolf Strøm
Community Member
2 months ago

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Uhm, yes. Of course. You can't vote if both alternatives are crazy. Some of the most important commentors of today are non-voters. (or have been)

DC
Community Member
2 months ago

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Dumb statement! Not-voting is an essential right inherent in free voting.

Kim
Community Member
2 months ago (edited)

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Of course you have. This is nonsense. You don’t have to be magically happy about the elected just because you didn’t vote.

Vorknkx
Community Member
2 months ago (edited)

It's not about being happy, it's about participation. If you didn't vote, if you willingly chose not to get involved with the whole electoral process. Deciding not to get involved with something, but then complaining about it doesn't make much sense, does it?

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Scagsy
Community Member
2 months ago

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I didn't vote for 20 years because none of the lying, cheating scumbags deserved my vote. I am absolutely going to complain when they inevitably foul things up.

Monday
Community Member
2 months ago

If you didn't vote you are part of the problem.

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Scyth
Community Member
2 months ago

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One vote doesn't matter, no matter what the political parties tell you.

Red rockin lobster
Community Member
2 months ago

One doesn't. Unfortunately it's never only one person who doesn't go out and vote. In that way things will never change on their own. Unless if you live in a dictatorship where votes are stolen. Or unless you make a revolution and bring them down with other methods.

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#8

No-one wants to hear your [crappy] music in public, especially in class.

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troufaki13
Community Member
2 months ago

Or in public transportation

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#9

Having an opinion doesn't make you right.

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Amy Pattie
Community Member
2 months ago

I mean, the bubonic plague never went away, we just have treatment for it now.

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That being said, the first step is to remember kindness and the Golden Rule. How would you want to be told that something you believe isn't true?” Susan suggests thinking about your tone in communication, which should be kind, respectful, and encouraging.

Moreover, you may use reflective listening. “For example, you could say, 'It sounds like you see grass as pink,' or 'I'm hearing that you think crocodiles make great pets.' You can also add, 'Tell me how you came to that conclusion,' or 'I'm curious as to how you formed that opinion.'"

Susan encourages using expressions like "It sounds like..." "I'm hearing that..." "You seem to feel..." "I'm noticing that..."It’s also important to phrase the truth in a way that doesn’t undermine others.

And also, it's important to agree to disagree, since “even after you have (calmly!) stated the truth, someone else still might not accept it,” she concluded.

#10

2021 will not magically be better than 2020.

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Anxious Pansexual Nightmare
Community Member
2 months ago

This is honestly all I’m hanging on to. It’s ok to want to pretend

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#11

Just because you’ve done something wrong in the past, doesn’t mean you can’t advocate against it.

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Niko Alarcon
Community Member
2 months ago

This is what some people need to hear. I 100% agree with this statement, some of us dont know the harm we've done until later, but it doesnt mean its too late to prevent others from making the same mistake.

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#12

As long as we fail to protect and provide for all children in our society, we will continue to suffer the crimes of the damaged adults we produce. We have no right to expect any different, and we deserve everything that we get.

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RaroaRaroa
Community Member
2 months ago

Anyone who complains about people receiving benefits from the government needs to consider this. If we don't help them, their children have NO chance of doing better. We'd end up with people living in gated communities, hiding from the other part of society, afraid to go out. Parts of the world all ready live like that. I hope we never do.

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Mark Murphy, the author of "Truth At Work: The Science Of Delivering Tough Messages," suggests that cognitive dissonance is to blame. It occurs when someone holds two psychologically inconsistent beliefs (or attitudes or opinions) that create unpleasant mental tension.

Murphy explains: “If you've ever been in a conversation with someone who just couldn't, or wouldn't, hear the truth, no matter how many ways you tried to explain it, or who reacted so badly to the truth that you regretted saying anything at all, you've likely witnessed someone who was experiencing cognitive dissonance.”

This is because such a reaction is a way of lessening psychological tension and reducing anxiety when people face something that contradicts their existing beliefs, attitudes, and opinions.

In reality, no human brain would ever enjoy receiving information that doesn’t help ourselves in the sense that it makes our lives more difficult or threatens our self-esteem, status, and public image. And it seems that the saying “truth hurts” wasn’t born out of nowhere.

#13

People don't think about you anywhere near as much as you think they do.

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RaroaRaroa
Community Member
2 months ago

Ahh, but to the socially anxious, we still cringe over something dumb we said to someone 20 years ago. Something they no doubt forgot within a week.

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#14

You're supposed to care deeply about the things in your own life, and other people not caring about them doesn't make them less important.

This is one of the things Instagram culture has taken away from us -- the idea that you're doing great even if nobody likes the photos of the breakfast you made or knows who you are.

For most of human history, most of our emphasis and energy was spent on our families and immediate communities. Now we're all flailing to "matter" to a bunch of strangers we probably wouldn't like in person and it's wrecking our brains.

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WilvanderHeijden
Community Member
2 months ago

Except for the few that have discovered that life without Fakebook, Instagram and Twitter is much more enjoyable.

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#15

No matter how nice you are, people will still just be a**holes to you just cuz.

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WilvanderHeijden
Community Member
2 months ago

Some people will. It's not that all the people are a**holes all the time but you do get to meet the inevitable jerk or bitch, no matter how nice you are. It's up to you to decide if they are going to dictate how you interact with people. It still does take more muscles to frown than to smile.

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#16

Just because someone is related to you, doesn't mean you have to like or tolerate them. Sometimes for people, friends are your true family because they accept you for who you are. They choose to stick around with you. Not because they have to.

I don't speak to my abusive father and never will again, nor his side of the family. I'm estranged from one of my sisters already and I don't like most of my extended family. I do not appreciate their morals.

You won't lose much at all by cutting some family ties (circumstances depend though, ofc). You'll be much happier in the long run once you establish your life, who you are and what you need/want for your future.

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postboredom
Community Member
2 months ago

Yes, this. It is YOUR life, you can choose to cut the bad people, no matter who they are and how you know them

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#17

Life isn’t fair and you aren’t owed a damn thing.

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Kim
Community Member
2 months ago

Well everyone deserve a chance.

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#18

Civil debate is a must. You gotta stay respectful, open-minded, and civil, even if you loathe the views of the other side with a passion.

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WilvanderHeijden
Community Member
2 months ago

Repeat that slowly with the election debate in mind.

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#19

Even though you think your kids are special, they are most likely just average.

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Amy Pattie
Community Member
2 months ago

But everyone’s kids are special to them, and that is why love is so important.

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#20

You can’t make everyone happy.

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troufaki13
Community Member
2 months ago

First person we should make happy is ourselves.

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#21

After a generation or two after your death, no one alive will have any memories of you. Your life, everything you did, and all of your struggles and achievements will all be forgotten. You’ll just be another one of the billions of forgotten souls whose names, faces, and life stories have all been lost to time.

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Amy Pattie
Community Member
2 months ago

I find this fact really comforting

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#22

You need to have your views challenged.

Being around and positively engaging with people who disagree with you is one of the healthiest intellectual practices we can do.

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WilvanderHeijden
Community Member
2 months ago (edited)

We've come to a point that "positively engaging with people who disagree with you" has become impossible. Everything has become an "Either you're with me or you're against me"- issue. You can't criticize politicians or you're a leftist fool or a rightwing idiot. And the same goes for feminism, sexism, racism etc. etc. So we all persist in our views making any dialogue impossible.

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#23

You can't control what happens to you, only how you react to it.

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brandon sat
Community Member
2 months ago

partial disagree here, i would say that you cant control EVERYTHING that happens to you

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#24

Just because you helped someone doesn't mean they are going to help you. People are ungrateful more often than not.

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Pawlise Glemtepassord
Community Member
2 months ago

Hard truth. My BF is a volunteer firefighter, and do people ever thank him for getting up at random times in the night and sprinting to station just to break open that door for the medics or pump out floodwater or hauling some dumbass out of a smoked-up apartment? Usually, no. Sometimes the people he just rescued even choose to be mean. He gets pretty broken up about it sometimes, I make sure to thank him but it would be a whole different thing if the actual people in question would just say thanks sometimes. If a fire station ever helped you out, it's not too late to send a letter and simply say thank you. A lot of them are volunteers in many countries.

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#25

You cannot go through life without experiencing some type of pain/discomfort. Physical and emotional. It is necessary for growth.

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Yvonne Blau
Community Member
2 months ago

It doesn't happen because it's necessary for growth. It just happens.

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#26

Things are going to keep getting worse on our planet and we are in for some serious human tragedy.

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Hans
Community Member
2 months ago

This is not universally true. In fact, many things are improving, at least when looked in decaded. Scientific progress. The fight of hunger (despite negative effects through corona). Medicine. People believing it ought to be worse anyway are a major contributor to it becoming worth, because, why should they care if they are doomed anyway?

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#27

We don't know everything and probably never will.

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David K
Community Member
2 months ago

That is not a hard to swallow fact (referring the title of this article). Don´t think that anyone aspires to know everything anyways :-)

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#28

So many of these are negative... So how about the truth that one of the best ways to be happy in life is by helping other people. People don't want to do it, because helping other people feels like you're losing out, but it's true.

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RaroaRaroa
Community Member
2 months ago

How does it feel like you're losing out? It always gives me a happy feeling.

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#29

It’s okay to be selfish sometimes.

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Anxious Pansexual Nightmare
Community Member
2 months ago

Self-care is not selfishness

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#30

Everyone's a hypocrite. Even you.

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Kim
Community Member
2 months ago

Not true. Hard pill to swallow: Some people are actually genuine and true.

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