Most of us say "yes" when asked if we want to hear the truth. And it seems like a good idea at first that will ultimately help us improve and become our best. But there’s something about having it shoved in our face that is so unbearably revolting, only the most courageous dare to swallow it.

Thanks to the redditor who posted the question “What is an absolute truth that no one wants to hear?” on r/AskReddit and received 11.8k comments, we now know what people hold as some of the most difficult truths. So hold on tight, ‘cause it ain’t gonna be an easy ride, and you won’t surely have a place to hide.

You have an option to either endure them and survive the post, becoming a better self, or to ignore them and move on. Whatever you choose, I feel you. No one was born ready to come to terms with things like “Just because someone is related to you doesn't mean they are a good person” and “It is possible to make no mistakes and still lose.” And I mean it.

#1

Just because someone is related to you doesn't mean they are a good person.

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nanashi
Community Member
1 month ago

I hate when they say "they can't be a bad person, they're [insert any religious person]'s child!". similar to you don't inherit Evil, you don't inherit Good either.

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#2

Don't believe everything you think.

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Amy Pattie
Community Member
1 month ago

This one should be at the top, everyone should understand this.

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#3

“It is possible to make no mistakes and still lose. That is not failure that is life.”

-Captain Jean Luc Picard

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Hans
Community Member
1 month ago

And not accepting this is very depressing. Accepting this is very hard, though.

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Getting people to see what’s right in front of their face is not easy. This is largely due to the fact that we, as humans, hate hearing the truth. It’s especially true when we are dealing with truths that involve something we need to improve or work on.

To find out more about why so many of us don’t feel comfortable around hard-to-swallow truths, Bored Panda reached out to Susan Petang, a certified life coach who runs The Quiet Zone Coaching. Susan is helping those who struggle with stress find relief, manage their fears, and build self-confidence so they can wake up happy in the morning.

Susan said that if the truth is something we don’t agree with, it will be uncomfortable to hear it because it all has to do with our core beliefs and values, and the way we view the world. “When what we believe to be true about ourselves, situations, other people, or the world, in general, is at odds with what we observe, the result is cognitive dissonance—when our beliefs and our observations are at odds. This can cause considerable stress,” she explained.

#4

Life is easier for attractive people.

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troufaki13
Community Member
1 month ago

As unjust as it is, it is also very true. Good looking people have to try a little less harder than the rest of us. Also, remember Jeremy Meeks? He became a model even though he served time in prison (assault and robbery I think)

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#5

Vaccines don’t cause autism.

They help stop the spread of the disease. They are not a cure, the just allow you to have a lower chance to catch the virus, which helps lower the chances of the virus spreading.

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EA
Community Member
1 month ago

PREACH 🙌🏻

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#6

There is no inherent justice in this world.

Bad things will happen to good people, and good things will happen to bad people.

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David K
Community Member
1 month ago

Unfortunately true. Sometimes even dictators and murderers die peacefully.

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However, one has to be aware that perception can be an issue here too. “So, what I have experienced as 'truth' may not be what you have experienced as 'truth.' For example, one could say that the truth is that water boils at 212 degrees. Or does it? If you use the metric system, water boils at 100 degrees.”

Susan said that even though these two are the same, the perception, the semantics come across differently, and “what one individual might experience as truth wouldn't be truth to someone else.”

Susan warns that when you’re telling people something they don’t want to hear, it’s going to sound like a criticism. She suggests keeping that in mind and not being surprised if you get perceived as the one launching an attack.“

#7

If you didn't vote but could have done so, you have no right to complain about our elected officials.

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WilvanderHeijden
Community Member
1 month ago

True. Tired of hearing "My vote doesn't matter." Every vote matters because it contributes to the grand number that influences the elections. If 90% of the people refuse to vote, they are leaving the remaining 10% the powers to decide over their lives. That's how polls work. They just ask a small number of people "representing the people" and present the result as the peoples opinion. Remember how that blew up in so many faces in 2016? "Yeah, we're going to win so I don't have to vote..."

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#8

No-one wants to hear your [crappy] music in public, especially in class.

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troufaki13
Community Member
1 month ago

Or in public transportation

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#9

Having an opinion doesn't make you right.

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Amy Pattie
Community Member
1 month ago

I mean, the bubonic plague never went away, we just have treatment for it now.

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That being said, the first step is to remember kindness and the Golden Rule. How would you want to be told that something you believe isn't true?” Susan suggests thinking about your tone in communication, which should be kind, respectful, and encouraging.

Moreover, you may use reflective listening. “For example, you could say, 'It sounds like you see grass as pink,' or 'I'm hearing that you think crocodiles make great pets.' You can also add, 'Tell me how you came to that conclusion,' or 'I'm curious as to how you formed that opinion.'"

Susan encourages using expressions like "It sounds like..." "I'm hearing that..." "You seem to feel..." "I'm noticing that..."It’s also important to phrase the truth in a way that doesn’t undermine others.

And also, it's important to agree to disagree, since “even after you have (calmly!) stated the truth, someone else still might not accept it,” she concluded.

#10

2021 will not magically be better than 2020.

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Anxious Pansexual Nightmare
Community Member
1 month ago

This is honestly all I’m hanging on to. It’s ok to want to pretend

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#11

Just because you’ve done something wrong in the past, doesn’t mean you can’t advocate against it.

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Niko Alarcon
Community Member
1 month ago

This is what some people need to hear. I 100% agree with this statement, some of us dont know the harm we've done until later, but it doesnt mean its too late to prevent others from making the same mistake.

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#12

As long as we fail to protect and provide for all children in our society, we will continue to suffer the crimes of the damaged adults we produce. We have no right to expect any different, and we deserve everything that we get.

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RaroaRaroa
Community Member
1 month ago

Anyone who complains about people receiving benefits from the government needs to consider this. If we don't help them, their children have NO chance of doing better. We'd end up with people living in gated communities, hiding from the other part of society, afraid to go out. Parts of the world all ready live like that. I hope we never do.

Niffler_13
Community Member
1 month ago

I know plenty of people who live off the system and their children still suffer.

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Octavia Hansen
Community Member
1 month ago

When birth control free and easy there won't be throw-away children.

Tor Rolf Strøm
Community Member
1 month ago

How do we provide for "all children" exactly? I'm sick of people thinking we can actually eliminate issues. We will never. Ever. There will always be some twisted people.

Anxious Pansexual Nightmare
Community Member
1 month ago

Yes, but many “twisted people” are that way because of horrible environments that they ended up growing up in. If we can make even one kid’s life better, we can stop them from being a bad adult. No one’s saying we will ever fix the problem, but we can improve it

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Wouldn't You Like to Know
Community Member
1 week ago

As long as we insist on allowing women to murder their unborn children, we will continue to devalue human life.

JV
Community Member
1 month ago

Agree.

andate him
Community Member
1 month ago

I disagree. Humans have free will, and while an upbringing may have an impact on life actions, it does not dictate them.

BusLady
Community Member
1 month ago

For one thing, children need to be taught to respect other people's rights.

Nicolas Pilot
Community Member
1 month ago

Yeah true, but it's a shame that most people don't realise that it's our hierarchical and competitive social structure that does the most wide-spread damage

Barry Parker
Community Member
1 month ago

This. The US in particular does not protect children from abuse. Spanking is still legal, punishments for worse abuses are mild, and support for the abused is virtually non existent yet the world wonders why the US is so messed up and violent.

DramaDoc
Community Member
1 month ago

“For if you suffer your people to be ill-educated, and their manners to be corrupted from their infancy, and then punish them for those crimes to which their first education disposed them, what else is to be concluded from this, but that you first make thieves and then punish them.” - Thomas Moore "Utopia" (1516)

Emilingo
Community Member
1 month ago

Here's the thing, adults always complain about how kids today will destroy and ruin the world, but it's their responsibility to teach kids not to. It's impeccable to me that they can be such hypocrites.

serge
Community Member
3 weeks ago

You reap what you sow....and that goes for all of us. If I see my neighbour do something wrong and don't intervene I am part of the problem. Turning your back doesn't make it go away, you just rationalize it as not being your problem, but it is.

Jaybird3939
Community Member
1 month ago

If someone doesn't find it horrifying that 5,400 children, some under 5 years old, were separated on the border from their families, you have an awful hole where your soul should be and a blackened piece of char where your heart should be.

Billy the kid
Community Member
1 month ago

I once see a young man being questioned on the tv Why do you abuse children? his reply " i was abused as a child and it seems natural to me" It is monsters that make monsters!

Sarah Nunns
Community Member
1 month ago

Criminality does not always spring from a poor and damaged upbringing, I know a man who had an enormously abusive and dysfunctional family life - if that's what you could call it - and he is one of the most honest people I know.

shado
Community Member
1 month ago

yup ... sad that too many kids are STILL in cages and so many more going without proper food - but the adults in charge just refuse to learn from the past so we all are forced to repeat it all again and again

Lisa Chambers
Community Member
1 month ago

True.

Leodavinci
Community Member
1 month ago

This is an opinion.

PAC
Community Member
1 month ago

It doesn’t take a village...it takes a family. Any type of family extended, alternative to otherwise. Government can’t be all things to all people, it’s impossible.

Wouldn't You Like to Know
Community Member
1 month ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

As long as we continue to devalue human life by allowing unborn children to be murdered, we will continue to have a low opinion of other people.

Terd Fergison
Community Member
1 month ago

If you think abortion is murder, then that would make god the biggest murderer of all time. If god controls the natural world then he is responsible for the more than 50% of fertilized human eggs aborted through natural causes. Does God Kill Babies? "Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones."-Psalm 137:9 The bible is not pro-child. Why did God set a bear upon 42 children just for teasing a prophet (2 Kings 2:23-24)? Far from demonstrating a "pro-life" attitude, the bible decimates innocent babies & pregnant women in passage after gory passage, starting with the flood & the wanton destruction of Sodom & Gomorrah, progressing to the murder of the firstborn child of every household in Egypt (Ex. 12:29), & the New Testament threats of annihilation. Biblical commandments or threats to kill children: Numbers 31:17 Now therefore kill every male among the little ones. Deuteronomy 2:34 utterly destroyed the men, the women & the little ones. ffrf.org

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Mark Murphy, the author of "Truth At Work: The Science Of Delivering Tough Messages," suggests that cognitive dissonance is to blame. It occurs when someone holds two psychologically inconsistent beliefs (or attitudes or opinions) that create unpleasant mental tension.

Murphy explains: “If you've ever been in a conversation with someone who just couldn't, or wouldn't, hear the truth, no matter how many ways you tried to explain it, or who reacted so badly to the truth that you regretted saying anything at all, you've likely witnessed someone who was experiencing cognitive dissonance.”

This is because such a reaction is a way of lessening psychological tension and reducing anxiety when people face something that contradicts their existing beliefs, attitudes, and opinions.

In reality, no human brain would ever enjoy receiving information that doesn’t help ourselves in the sense that it makes our lives more difficult or threatens our self-esteem, status, and public image. And it seems that the saying “truth hurts” wasn’t born out of nowhere.

#13

People don't think about you anywhere near as much as you think they do.

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RaroaRaroa
Community Member
1 month ago

Ahh, but to the socially anxious, we still cringe over something dumb we said to someone 20 years ago. Something they no doubt forgot within a week.

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#14

You're supposed to care deeply about the things in your own life, and other people not caring about them doesn't make them less important.

This is one of the things Instagram culture has taken away from us -- the idea that you're doing great even if nobody likes the photos of the breakfast you made or knows who you are.

For most of human history, most of our emphasis and energy was spent on our families and immediate communities. Now we're all flailing to "matter" to a bunch of strangers we probably wouldn't like in person and it's wrecking our brains.

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WilvanderHeijden
Community Member
1 month ago

Except for the few that have discovered that life without Fakebook, Instagram and Twitter is much more enjoyable.

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#15

No matter how nice you are, people will still just be a**holes to you just cuz.

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WilvanderHeijden
Community Member
1 month ago

Some people will. It's not that all the people are a**holes all the time but you do get to meet the inevitable jerk or bitch, no matter how nice you are. It's up to you to decide if they are going to dictate how you interact with people. It still does take more muscles to frown than to smile.

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#16

Just because someone is related to you, doesn't mean you have to like or tolerate them. Sometimes for people, friends are your true family because they accept you for who you are. They choose to stick around with you. Not because they have to.

I don't speak to my abusive father and never will again, nor his side of the family. I'm estranged from one of my sisters already and I don't like most of my extended family. I do not appreciate their morals.

You won't lose much at all by cutting some family ties (circumstances depend though, ofc). You'll be much happier in the long run once you establish your life, who you are and what you need/want for your future.

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postboredom
Community Member
1 month ago

Yes, this. It is YOUR life, you can choose to cut the bad people, no matter who they are and how you know them

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#17

Life isn’t fair and you aren’t owed a damn thing.

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Kim
Community Member
1 month ago

Well everyone deserve a chance.

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#18

Civil debate is a must. You gotta stay respectful, open-minded, and civil, even if you loathe the views of the other side with a passion.

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WilvanderHeijden
Community Member
1 month ago

Repeat that slowly with the election debate in mind.

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#19

Even though you think your kids are special, they are most likely just average.

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Amy Pattie
Community Member
1 month ago

But everyone’s kids are special to them, and that is why love is so important.

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#20

You can’t make everyone happy.

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troufaki13
Community Member
1 month ago

First person we should make happy is ourselves.

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#21

After a generation or two after your death, no one alive will have any memories of you. Your life, everything you did, and all of your struggles and achievements will all be forgotten. You’ll just be another one of the billions of forgotten souls whose names, faces, and life stories have all been lost to time.

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Amy Pattie
Community Member
1 month ago

I find this fact really comforting

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#22

You need to have your views challenged.

Being around and positively engaging with people who disagree with you is one of the healthiest intellectual practices we can do.

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WilvanderHeijden
Community Member
1 month ago (edited)

We've come to a point that "positively engaging with people who disagree with you" has become impossible. Everything has become an "Either you're with me or you're against me"- issue. You can't criticize politicians or you're a leftist fool or a rightwing idiot. And the same goes for feminism, sexism, racism etc. etc. So we all persist in our views making any dialogue impossible.

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#23

You can't control what happens to you, only how you react to it.

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brandon sat
Community Member
1 month ago

partial disagree here, i would say that you cant control EVERYTHING that happens to you

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#24

Just because you helped someone doesn't mean they are going to help you. People are ungrateful more often than not.

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Pawlise Glemtepassord
Community Member
1 month ago

Hard truth. My BF is a volunteer firefighter, and do people ever thank him for getting up at random times in the night and sprinting to station just to break open that door for the medics or pump out floodwater or hauling some dumbass out of a smoked-up apartment? Usually, no. Sometimes the people he just rescued even choose to be mean. He gets pretty broken up about it sometimes, I make sure to thank him but it would be a whole different thing if the actual people in question would just say thanks sometimes. If a fire station ever helped you out, it's not too late to send a letter and simply say thank you. A lot of them are volunteers in many countries.

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#25

You cannot go through life without experiencing some type of pain/discomfort. Physical and emotional. It is necessary for growth.

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Yvonne Blau
Community Member
1 month ago

It doesn't happen because it's necessary for growth. It just happens.

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#26

Things are going to keep getting worse on our planet and we are in for some serious human tragedy.

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Hans
Community Member
1 month ago

This is not universally true. In fact, many things are improving, at least when looked in decaded. Scientific progress. The fight of hunger (despite negative effects through corona). Medicine. People believing it ought to be worse anyway are a major contributor to it becoming worth, because, why should they care if they are doomed anyway?

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#27

We don't know everything and probably never will.

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David K
Community Member
1 month ago

That is not a hard to swallow fact (referring the title of this article). Don´t think that anyone aspires to know everything anyways :-)

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#28

So many of these are negative... So how about the truth that one of the best ways to be happy in life is by helping other people. People don't want to do it, because helping other people feels like you're losing out, but it's true.

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RaroaRaroa
Community Member
1 month ago

How does it feel like you're losing out? It always gives me a happy feeling.

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#29

It’s okay to be selfish sometimes.

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Anxious Pansexual Nightmare
Community Member
1 month ago

Self-care is not selfishness

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#30

Everyone's a hypocrite. Even you.

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Kim
Community Member
1 month ago

Not true. Hard pill to swallow: Some people are actually genuine and true.

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