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It’s easy to give relationship advice; following it, however, can be a real nightmare because one wrong move can lead to heartache and heartbreak. But whatever your stance about relationships, two things are for sure—they’re a lot of work and we have a lot of illusions about love.

The members of the r/AskReddit community shared their hard-to-swallow pills about relationships in a candid thread started up by user AsontiRelay. The thread, which got 38.7k upvotes and a whopping 7.7k comments, might just give you a fresh (and more honest) perspective on romance. As you’re scrolling down, upvote the answers that you agree with and be sure to share your own perspective below.

Harsh truths that lead to better communication? Emotional opinions that are too cynical? It's up to you to decide, dear Pandas.

#2

Hard-To-Swallow-Pills-Relationship-Truths

yogfthagen Report

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Al Jones
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yep. The very worst thing you can do to fix a relationship is to have kids. Think you're arguing a lot now? Think again.

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Bored Panda spoke about romance, dating, and what to do if somebody is sitting on the fence about breaking up with relationship expert Dan Bacon, the founder of The Modern Man. According to Dan, what a person ought to do if they’re in such a situation is unique for everyone.

However, Dan suggested that if you’re considering breaking up with someone to analyze what the reasons behind this might be. “It really depends on why you are on the fence about breaking up. If you’re temporarily feeling that way after a fight, or a problem that occurred in the relationship [or if] you feel that way all the time, or very often.”

#4

Hard-To-Swallow-Pills-Relationship-Truths

Frothy_moisture Report

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WilvanderHeijden
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Spread the word. Your ominous silence may look powerful to you, but in fact it's annoying. If you got something to say, say it. Don't expect other people to read your mind.

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#5

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necr0phagus Report

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Sum Guy
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree with this partially... sometimes having a partner means you don't have to deal with all your emotional s**t. Half the reason we go to therapy is just to talk, not get advice but to get things off your chest, and good partners do that for each other

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According to dating expert Dan, there’s absolutely no need to break up with your significant other, girlfriend, or boyfriend if your feelings about going your separate ways are temporary. In short: if the problem can be resolved, it’s best not to take any rash decisions.

In fact, there’s a silver lining to having disagreements with the person you love (or, let’s be honest, the person who you might fall in love with in the future). Solving problems, both small and big, can benefit the relationship! Overcoming hardships and challenges can lead to greater intimacy in the future.

#7

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Posersophist Report

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Daria B
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Especially when they decided to stop trusting you for something you really didn't do, but they firmly believe you did. Been there. It's as bizarre as it sounds.

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#8

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wolfje_the_firewolf Report

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Foxxy (The Original)
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3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree, I know I can be, especially since I have anger problems and am a reactive person. I am working on it.

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“You need to understand that overcoming problems together as a couple can make you closer, stronger, and more committed if you approach it correctly,” relationship expert Dan told Bored Panda in an interview.

#10

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luvgassy Report

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Kno
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you have to control them and make sure they don't cheat.... find someone else. Or accept an open relationship and quit calling it cheating. Loyalty is implied, not optional, unless otherwise discussed. If the relationship stops working, then maybe grow up a little and accept its end before either of you reaches the cheating part.

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#11

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Tricky-garden Report

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Foxxy (The Original)
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You will never find that perfect partner that does nothing annoying. I have behaviours and quirks that are annoying to my hubby and vice versa.

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According to the expert, when both people in a couple are supportive of each other, they both grow from the experience. What’s more, there has to be a certain amount of trust between both people: you need to trust that your partner has good intentions, even if you’ve recently been arguing.

#14

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jitwip Report

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TrisHCL20
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yup I stayed with narcissistic ex way past that relationship's expiration date.

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#15

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allupinspace Report

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Kno
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't see how this is a hard truth. It's simply the truth. We all need help sometimes, and we need to lean on someone. Sometimes it's good to be given that trust to support someone.

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However, things are different if you constantly think about breaking up or if you’re always feeling horrible after spending time with your partner. That’s when you need to consider the fact that this person might not be your soulmate and might need to move on. However hard that might be.

#17

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AgnosticPrankster Report

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Winx
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This might be the hardest truth. If the feeling isn't there, it isn't there, no matter how good of a person you both are.

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#18

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fatalerGAMER Report

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Raine Soo
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My ex-boyfriend and I fell out of love with one another. It was certainly no picnic when the resentment started to build up.

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“If wanting to break up is a feeling that you have all the time, or very often, then that person isn’t the one for you,” relationship expert Dan explained. In his opinion, good relationships have to be unambiguous—if you’re flip-flopping between radically different feelings toward your partner on a regular basis, there might be something off.

#21

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Brittany
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In my case, he's even better now, than I could ever imagine. I would've never picked someone like him.

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“When a couple love each other and truly want to be with each other for life, they won’t be on the fence about it,” Dan said. “It will be as clear as day for them that they want to be with each other and no-one else, so breaking up won’t even seem like an option to them.”

#23

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maeb84 Report

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Wendillon
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Communication IS the key to comprehension though. The whole "oh you wouldn't understand" trope has probably broken more relationships than we can count.

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#24

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yogfthagen Report

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nikita-joy Hendricks
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is so true. I always said i would never date a short guy.. After 4 years of getting played by what i though my ''type'' was I finally found someone that appreciates me and guess what his average height. Sometime we miss out on something amazing because of our own prejudices.

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The relationship expert continued: “It will almost seem laughable because they know they wouldn’t want to be with anyone else as much as they want to be with each other.” In other words, a strong couple is one that doesn’t entertain the idea of leaving one another over some minor disagreements.

#25

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Empty-Refrigerator Report

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Wendillon
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If anything relationships are going to make managing a mental illness more complicated. Yes you have added support now, but you also have added stress.

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#26

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“If they happen to have an argument or experience a problem in the relationship, they might temporarily feel a bit annoyed at each other, but they’ll both be willing to fix it, grow and make the relationship better from then on,” Dan said.

“That’s what the happiest, most in love couples do,” he added.

#28

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Mrs_ Possum
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And it's how the screw-ups are dealt with that's important. You can learn a lot about someone by how they act in the difficult times.

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#29

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November_Dawn_11 Report

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Mewton’s Third Paw
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was right person, wrong time with my partner. We met like 7 years before we reconnected and started dating.

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#30

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Note: this post originally had 75 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.

What about you, dear Pandas? What hard-to-swallow truths about relationships would you like to share with us? What’s the best advice about love and romance you’ve ever heard? We can’t wait to hear what you think, so write up a comment and post it below!