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White Dude Decides To Commit Social Suicide By Correcting Japanese Lady’s Grammar
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White Dude Decides To Commit Social Suicide By Correcting Japanese Lady’s Grammar

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Have you ever been in a situation where you messed up so badly and made things so awkward that it still hurts to think about it to this day? Even if you have, odds are, you were nowhere as cringy as one guy named Michael.

Meet Michael who is making the rounds on Reddit for his facepalm-worthy behavior and for being “too goddamn stupid for his own good”. The amateur Japanese language enthusiast thought he knew the language better than his pal’s mixed Japanese wife and her Japanese grandmother, so he ‘corrected’ their grammar. He then insulted them for not being “submissive” and was forced to eat hot dogs instead of delicious traditional Japanese food like everyone else. The moral of the story is simple: don’t be like Michael or else you’ll do something you’ll probably regret for a long, long time.

Bored Panda reached out to Japanese language expert and member of the VMU Japanese club Hashi, Kotryna Kvietkauskaitė. Read on for our interview with her about learning Japanese and why knowing whether you speak as well as a native is not such an easy thing to figure out.

Image credits: Farrel Nobel (not the actual photo)

A guy who thought he knew Japanese really well made an utter fool of himself

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Image credits: cara27hhh

Everyone learns at their own personal pace

Kotryna told Bored Panda that during her studies in Lithuania and Japan, she hadn’t encountered any people who are in a rush to correct how others speak Japanese. “I’ve only read about situations like this on the internet. Meanwhile, among my acquaintances, those who really want to learn the language and those who have been studying it for several years rarely ever say that they’re experts or are in a rush to correct others.”

Bored Panda also wanted to find out at which point a person could confidently state that they know Japanese as well as the average native speaker. However, Kotryna pointed out that this is a complex question and a lot depends on what we determine to be the level at which an average native Japanese person speaks.

“Are we talking about the ability to read fiction in Japanese? Or are we talking about the ability to freely talk with Japanese people not only about everyday things like the weather or your hobbies?” the language expert pondered.

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“In Japan, when a foreigner speaks Japanese, they can often get praise for their language skills, even if they simply introduced themselves which is one of the first things that students learn to do.”

According to Kotryna, progress while learning languages, especially Japanese, is a very personal thing and people move at different paces.

“One person might take 5 years until they learn to read Japanese fiction without any problems while another person might take 10 years. In other words, there isn’t a clearly-defined point that can be reached after which a person can confidently state that they know Japanese as well as the average native.”

The more strongly you believe you’re right, the more you want to correct others

We can only assume that Michael felt very sure about his Japanese skills. But thinking you’re great at something and actually being competent are two very different things.

Psychology Today suggests that the more strongly a person believes that their attitude is correct, the more competitive they will be during discussions with others. So if you’re very certain about something, you’re more likely to try and convince others that you’re right. The more certain you are, the more you’ll want to ‘correct’ others’ mistakes.

So if you realize that you’re constantly arguing and in conflict with others, there are two things that you need to think about.

The first thing is that you need to sit down and honestly evaluate whether or not you generally assume that your opinions and points of view are the correct ones.

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The second thing to do is much, much harder. You have to try speaking less and listening more. Give other people the chance to share their own opinions (even if you think they’re completely wrong). You might learn something new and get a whole different perspective on things you took for granted. What’s more, this way you’ll actually be more likely to discuss things, instead of trying to convince people to change their minds.

Here’s what people had to say about the awkward situation

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misscellania avatar
Miss Cellania
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Unless you are actually teaching a class, the only language you should correct is that of your children.

marclaudius avatar
Claudia
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Condescending man who could not help but mansplain, was then put in his place. Love it

dariab_1 avatar
Daria B
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Now, I can't say for this specific case, but to be fair, native speakers of every language make mistakes. And there are mistakes that are also very typical. Naturally, you don't correct them, unless the situational context calls for it, but I really wish people could overcome the "face barrier" and actually take in consideration the words from certain groups of people. Anyway, yeah, the behaviour and mentality described here sound very inappropriate.

charlottestewart avatar
Charlotte Stewart
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

But there is what's technically proper, and what's commonly used. And those 2 things aren't always the same. For example, when I was growing up, my grandfather would always tell me that it's more proper to say "my friend and I", instead of "me and my friend". But everyone I knew always said it the second way. My teachers always used to tell us that "ain't" is not a word. Yet we all used it. So even if he was technically correct, he may have been oblivious to common usage.

Load More Replies...
deannawoods avatar
deanna woods
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What person would find it appropriate to correct the grammar of a native speaker and then say something so condescending like "I thought Asian women were supposed to submit to men"? This "friend" is a huge jerk.

hazelree avatar
Stille20
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

At what point do you interject and tell the man he is no longer welcome in your home? He was rude to your wife and then comes back and complains to you that she is not submissive... maybe I am missing part of the story.

johanna_zamora avatar
Grumble O'Pug
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Excellent burn with the hot dogs. Man, the one thing you KNOW in Japan is to show respect. How on earth did this douchebag think "submitting" women trumped that? Idiot.

hjsayen avatar
Bowtechie
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I died when he went in on them for "wa" and "ga". Particles are literally the MOST difficult part of the Japanese language imo and I both can yet cannot believe he had the stones to try and do that. Go grandma, though, she shamed him good.

ddw2945 avatar
Curry on...
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Japanese wasn't his native tongue, so what made him think he could correct a native speaker?

elcywonderland avatar
Cat Chow
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In Japanese we omit a lot of context which would usually use "wa" to establish. So only an idiot n00b to the language would be stupid enough to interrupt two women's established conversation and correct them regarding the context of thier conversation. Details on "wa" vs "ga" https://8020japanese.com/wa-vs-ga/

scanningforviruses avatar
Vanta Black
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"You don't use 'ga', you use 'wa'.", said Michael, putting the shotgun barrel in his mouth. "I thought Asian women are supposed to submit to men.", Michael added later, before pulling the trigger.

vidimlic62 avatar
Mimi777
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My mom speaks 3 languages but she’s been made fun of for having an accent when she speaks English...we live in America btw.

rachelmcferren_1 avatar
Rachel
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

ROTFL!!! I would have tried to hide under the carpet had my friend displayed so much ignorance, just out of embarrassment of choosing that person as a friend.

raroararoa avatar
RaroaRaroa
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What does "mixed Japanese" mean? Is that like part Japanese? MIxed makes it sound like she's a mixture of different Japanese - which makes no sense.

elcywonderland avatar
Cat Chow
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Probably ha-fu or quarter. Anyone not 100% Japanese is considered mixed in Japan. Ha-fu:50% Japanese (one Japanese parent) quarter: one grand parent Japanese.

Load More Replies...
nickyoldfielddesciple avatar
IlovemydogShilo
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I live in Ireland. A friend of mine is a fluent Irish speaker and teaches it in an Irish speaking school. We were out one day when this American tourist came up behind us and tried to read the Irish part of a road sign (in Ireland all road signs are in English and Irish). Of course he made a complete mess of it. My friend tried to tell him how to pronounce the words properly but he shot her down saying

kim_lorton avatar
Kim Lorton
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Grandma rocks and the super white dude, has issues with his need to be right! I would've just shut up and let grandma cook, and eaten it with love and enjoyed the he'll out of it!! Yummy!

lemonbailey avatar
Lemon Bailey
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Everyone knows that you don't interrupt 2 females having a conversation. Then to insult them ! OMG has this Michael never heard of Lorna Bobbit

odiasuda565 avatar
Scratch
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Where's the rest of the story? What did the women say to your dumb friend? Kind of a non-article.

rtapranaite avatar
The ultimate cat bun
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That grandma is super cool. I think that guy shouldn't be friends with this Micheal anymore. That's just plain rude.

brandona_english avatar
Brandon A. English
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

1) If he were a true friend, then he'd correct this guy's terrible English instead. 2) This story sounds completely made-up.

stimpy avatar
Stimpy
Community Member
3 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

This comment has been deleted.

xianjaguar avatar
XianJaguar
Community Member
3 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

The guy is a jerk. That said, there was no reason to say "the whitest dude in our group". Jerks come in every skin color.

johanna_zamora avatar
Grumble O'Pug
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Nope, you missed the point, he was explaining how this wasn't a native speaker or a native Japanese.

Load More Replies...
ilikepie22334 avatar
John Smith
Community Member
3 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

"the whitest dude in our group" ..... hahaha ..... even funnier when it's "the blackest dude in our group"

misscellania avatar
Miss Cellania
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Unless you are actually teaching a class, the only language you should correct is that of your children.

marclaudius avatar
Claudia
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Condescending man who could not help but mansplain, was then put in his place. Love it

dariab_1 avatar
Daria B
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Now, I can't say for this specific case, but to be fair, native speakers of every language make mistakes. And there are mistakes that are also very typical. Naturally, you don't correct them, unless the situational context calls for it, but I really wish people could overcome the "face barrier" and actually take in consideration the words from certain groups of people. Anyway, yeah, the behaviour and mentality described here sound very inappropriate.

charlottestewart avatar
Charlotte Stewart
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

But there is what's technically proper, and what's commonly used. And those 2 things aren't always the same. For example, when I was growing up, my grandfather would always tell me that it's more proper to say "my friend and I", instead of "me and my friend". But everyone I knew always said it the second way. My teachers always used to tell us that "ain't" is not a word. Yet we all used it. So even if he was technically correct, he may have been oblivious to common usage.

Load More Replies...
deannawoods avatar
deanna woods
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What person would find it appropriate to correct the grammar of a native speaker and then say something so condescending like "I thought Asian women were supposed to submit to men"? This "friend" is a huge jerk.

hazelree avatar
Stille20
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

At what point do you interject and tell the man he is no longer welcome in your home? He was rude to your wife and then comes back and complains to you that she is not submissive... maybe I am missing part of the story.

johanna_zamora avatar
Grumble O'Pug
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Excellent burn with the hot dogs. Man, the one thing you KNOW in Japan is to show respect. How on earth did this douchebag think "submitting" women trumped that? Idiot.

hjsayen avatar
Bowtechie
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I died when he went in on them for "wa" and "ga". Particles are literally the MOST difficult part of the Japanese language imo and I both can yet cannot believe he had the stones to try and do that. Go grandma, though, she shamed him good.

ddw2945 avatar
Curry on...
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Japanese wasn't his native tongue, so what made him think he could correct a native speaker?

elcywonderland avatar
Cat Chow
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In Japanese we omit a lot of context which would usually use "wa" to establish. So only an idiot n00b to the language would be stupid enough to interrupt two women's established conversation and correct them regarding the context of thier conversation. Details on "wa" vs "ga" https://8020japanese.com/wa-vs-ga/

scanningforviruses avatar
Vanta Black
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"You don't use 'ga', you use 'wa'.", said Michael, putting the shotgun barrel in his mouth. "I thought Asian women are supposed to submit to men.", Michael added later, before pulling the trigger.

vidimlic62 avatar
Mimi777
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My mom speaks 3 languages but she’s been made fun of for having an accent when she speaks English...we live in America btw.

rachelmcferren_1 avatar
Rachel
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

ROTFL!!! I would have tried to hide under the carpet had my friend displayed so much ignorance, just out of embarrassment of choosing that person as a friend.

raroararoa avatar
RaroaRaroa
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What does "mixed Japanese" mean? Is that like part Japanese? MIxed makes it sound like she's a mixture of different Japanese - which makes no sense.

elcywonderland avatar
Cat Chow
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Probably ha-fu or quarter. Anyone not 100% Japanese is considered mixed in Japan. Ha-fu:50% Japanese (one Japanese parent) quarter: one grand parent Japanese.

Load More Replies...
nickyoldfielddesciple avatar
IlovemydogShilo
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I live in Ireland. A friend of mine is a fluent Irish speaker and teaches it in an Irish speaking school. We were out one day when this American tourist came up behind us and tried to read the Irish part of a road sign (in Ireland all road signs are in English and Irish). Of course he made a complete mess of it. My friend tried to tell him how to pronounce the words properly but he shot her down saying

kim_lorton avatar
Kim Lorton
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Grandma rocks and the super white dude, has issues with his need to be right! I would've just shut up and let grandma cook, and eaten it with love and enjoyed the he'll out of it!! Yummy!

lemonbailey avatar
Lemon Bailey
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Everyone knows that you don't interrupt 2 females having a conversation. Then to insult them ! OMG has this Michael never heard of Lorna Bobbit

odiasuda565 avatar
Scratch
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Where's the rest of the story? What did the women say to your dumb friend? Kind of a non-article.

rtapranaite avatar
The ultimate cat bun
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That grandma is super cool. I think that guy shouldn't be friends with this Micheal anymore. That's just plain rude.

brandona_english avatar
Brandon A. English
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

1) If he were a true friend, then he'd correct this guy's terrible English instead. 2) This story sounds completely made-up.

stimpy avatar
Stimpy
Community Member
3 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

This comment has been deleted.

xianjaguar avatar
XianJaguar
Community Member
3 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

The guy is a jerk. That said, there was no reason to say "the whitest dude in our group". Jerks come in every skin color.

johanna_zamora avatar
Grumble O'Pug
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Nope, you missed the point, he was explaining how this wasn't a native speaker or a native Japanese.

Load More Replies...
ilikepie22334 avatar
John Smith
Community Member
3 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

"the whitest dude in our group" ..... hahaha ..... even funnier when it's "the blackest dude in our group"

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