Does the Loch Ness Monster really exist? What happened to the crew of Mary Celeste? And what are guys up to when they're taking long showers? While we might never find out the answers to the first two mysteries, the latter has just been revealed. Together with a bunch of other men secrets most girls probably have no clue about. Recently, someone on reddit asked "What Are Some 'Guy Secrets' Girls Don't Know About?" and it got funnier and funnier with every answer. Amassing over 80K upvotes in just a few days, this post has become sort of like a diary of the 21st century man, and you couldn't make this stuff up. Scroll down to check out the entries and upvote your faves!
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"We are task orientated" absolutely true! we respond better with, "can you get me a blanket?" our brain process that faster than "I'm cold" statement.
My husband and I use this: I'll have a problem and he'll ask me, "Do you need FixItBoy or MaleGirlfriendBoy?" Works like a charm. Makes me laugh, we both figure out what I need and we go from there. We've been together over 30 years now. He's just the best! <3
Now, I would love to know what would work like this for men???
Load More Replies... My husband jumps into problem solving mode even when I am only telling a story that has nothing to do with me, including interrupting the story so he can offer answers and solutions that are not relevant, pertinent, or necessary. I have to stop him and say it's only a story.
My dad is always doing this. Drives me CRAZY
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Apparently I have quite a 'male' type of brain. At least, did this test and that's what it said. I too am a fixer and whilst I am happy for people to vent they will get me trying to come up with ways to help them.
Same here. Even when I can sense they're just trying to went, often I have to actively stop myself from trying to offer advice. I find it very hard to listen without offering some help or my personal input
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Men, I love you, but EVERY conversation with ANYONE should always be looked through three lenses: 1. What is this person trying to communicate? (easiest one) 2. What is this person's emotional state (not too hard)? 3. What is this person trying to accomplish with this conversation? (this one can be hard, it's okay to ask) This goes for men or women who need help being active listeners.
And, if it's hard to figure out... there's always the fallback of simply asking, "Is there anything I can do to help with this?" People will generally respond either that they just needed someone to talk to or they'll tell you how you can help.
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I wish more people, not just men, did this. A solution to the problem you are facing is a lot more important in my opinion than just having someone listen to you rant.
Now my husband knows, but I remember once I actually told him clearly and explicitly what was really going on, but he insisted there was a problem that's making me feel sad and that I'm trying to avoid and that he wanted to help me out. That was kinda sweet, but, thinking of it now, these things do stress you out, poor boy.
Man I’d still be thinking of ways to fix it lol probably won’t say anything lol
I don't know if you guys are the same but I tend to not fuss over the "how it happened" as that has already come and gone and can't be changed so there's no point worrying about it, all I think about is what can be done to rectify the problem.
This is a good point. I am pretty independent and often I just want to vent about a situation. If I want advice from anyone, I will ask them. But some men want to fix things even if you pointedly tell them that you need to vent. The thing most of us want to hear is that our man is wanting to be supportive without taking over the situation to tell you how to solve it. It makes us feel like he doesn't believe in our ability to handle it ourselves. He may not even believe that, but it makes alot of us feel that way. Mostly, we need an ear to listen, and some loving support and affection when we vent.
Always listen first. Then you can understand if something needs fixing. Learning always comes before action.
I would never go crying to a man! The invariable response is for them to look panicked, declare they're no good in these situations and they're late for an appointment/match/meeting etc. Exit man, with smoking heels.
This should be well known by now... if you want for us to just listen, TELL US!!! We're hard wired to be problem solvers, not problem listeners...
Resonates with me, if I see someone emotionally unstable I'll try to help them cut the problem like a samurai that's my course of action too;
But in #2, you say if you want something, just ask. But here you're saying we can't just vent, we have to tell you that we're just venting. #2 says that saying, "I'm cold" will not result in a guy offering to get a blanket for you. Shouldn't the same logic apply when we b***h about something? If your 'first inclination is to fix the problem', why wouldn't you offer us a blanket if we say we're cold?
Because "i'm cold" is only a problem if you are a toddler incapable of getting a blanket. Saying, "I'd like a blanket, will you get me one," is a problem with a potential solution. Saying, "i'm cold," is just a statement of a fact, not necessarily a problem.
Load More Replies... I love that he cares and wants to fix things. Now I preface stuff with "I need to b***h about this and I need you to nod your head sympathetically and say, 'Yes, dear'"
I love that he wants "to fix" whatever is bugging me. Sometimes his listening does the fixing. It helps now that I tell him I'm just bitching.
When your guy friend tells you he broke up with his girlfriend, do you also respond by trying to fix it? Or do you recognize that he is an adult and is just communicating?
We ask if they're good with it? If they say, "yes" then it's not a problem. If they say, "no" it's a problem that you can offer solutions to. Most guys don't vent about their problems to their guy friends, because that's not how we work.
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I have to tell my husband that all the time, I'm learning..second marriage. I start with, "I'm not expecting you to fix this, just let me vent..please." He just smiles and nods. Love this guy.
you could also assume everything is a venting session unless they ask for help directly
Or...crazy thought...you could just consider Venting to be the default and only offer solutions if/when specifically asked?
Im a chick... and *I* need this too! Totally task-oriented, and solution-oriented. The whole "venting" thing... i find it challenging. I don't even like to vent, as I find it a waste of energy. So boys... I'm totally with you on this one!!
I'm a woman, and sometimes it's difficult for me to just listen. I want to try to fix the problem. I have to remind myself to clarify: are you just venting, or do you want some suggestions?
OMG so spot on, but even when I do that, my husband insists on FIXING it, so there just are some things I can never talk to him about. I don't want it fixed. I just want a good listener :(
Uhm, I would appreciate this heads up too. My brain will run a bunch of different possible solutions until someone gives me the clear that they just need to let out steam.
I really hate that we have to be the ones to give a some kind of signal, how is it that girls get social ques but when it comes to guys you basically have to spell every F***ing thing out?!
Guys have social clues too that girls don't understand. The difference is that guys don't expect (or even wawnt) girls to get them.
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How about: DON'T TRY TO FIX PROBLEMS UNLESS EXPLICITLY ASKED TO. All of these reek of excuses to never address your behaviours and disregard self reflection. ****NOBODY LIKES THIS BEHAVIOUR, NOBODY*****
My best advice... the penis does act as an antenna to read your mind.
Lucky you. I had my hairdresser tell me I looked like a junkie because I had let my hair grow out. Needless to say I didn't visit her again.
This is no secret, those who do this are heroes and are celebrated.
I laughed at this for way too long, because I can't think of a single time I tied something down and didn't say that.
And it also smells nice. I think shampoo smells better than most of the expensive perfumes.
true! even for those of us who are short. We will jump just to fulfill our primal instinct
It's good to have open conversations about men's insecurities and issues too, and there always needs to be mutual open communication in a relationship, regardless of whether that's a male/female or male/male or female/female relationship because people are different and express themselves and their needs differently
It really is so important. Sadly, there are still a lot of people out there who mock this sort of thing, and it makes me so sad. We're all human beings, we all deserve the same right to express our feelings without fear.
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We are often ashamed of showing emotion because it's been used against us in the past. "He cries! lol. What a weakling." We go to the bathroom and cry, letting out emotion in solitude and come back with extra Machismo to mask it.
This makes me so mad/sad. I am middle-aged and even in my childhood it was considered normal for girls and boys to cry and show emotions. How can it be that a generation later men still have to deal with being allowed to act HUMAN? :(
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Also I think, I'm not sure, but I think most men want to be a hero, whether it's in a symbolic or a literal sense, we want the chance to be redeemable and respected. The chance to come to someones aid, to defend someones honor, to save the day - it sounds a bit wanky and can apply to women as well, but there's something to it I think
For years, I've wanted a flight attendant to come out and ask the passengers if anyone can land a plane. I would be there so fast!
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I was expecting more brutal truths. But glad to see the fraternity stayed strong! ;)
i would have LOVED to see some brutal truths--some of us actually learn from them
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I think one of the greatest "secret" I've learned about men is that they get anxious about starting a family as well. In my culture, there is this whole scheme they feed you, that you as a woman should procreate no-matter what, that you are worth only your reproductive capability, besides you have a shelf-life, etc. etc. I guess it just never occurred to me that men could possibly get worried about such a thing.
My husband never tells me he liked my food. I have to watch and when he takes seconds, it means he likes it. But if he just finishes his plate and doesn't take seconds, it doesn't mean that he didn't like it, it can also mean that he just isn't that hungry, that he ate too many cookies and ruined his apetite, or that he is in a hurry and will take seconds later in the evening, or that he was just thinking about going to the loo, or that he sees a blue elephant, or.......
I need whatever ingredient you used which made him see blue elephants.
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To be fairly honest, I'm a woman and can still relate to some of these, like the ones about zoning off and thinking about opening a brewery in the middle of nowhere and the story about the T-rex. Also, the two drops rule ending up on your pants is valid for both sexes. Not having toilet paper at hand(because someone else finished it and didn't put a new roll)sucks.
I loved this post. Sometimes you guys seem so sure and unassailable, that I feel superfluous. It's very very nice to hear sometimes that what's going on in your head is actually pretty similar. And that you also worry if we like you back and stuff. (And that it doesn't matter that I cut my hair) And just to share, I had an American boyfriend once and he was always raised with the idea that men and women were fundamentally different. We're not. We're all human first and are insecure and shy and trip and stuff. Only after that comes the gender thing. And even though I knew it, you still tend to overlook it. That's why it's nice to see posts like this from time to time. And trust us, we usually operate on the premise that you aren't attracted to us. Please let us know, only take care of where so if the girl turns out to be mean you have a buffer. Also most of us dislike the high maintenance b****y girls too, don't judge us all by their a*s backwards behaviour. Thanks!
It's very true. I was raised with 'men are from Mars, women are from Venus' where really it should be "The solar system is big and empty, all life is amazing'"
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I'm so fed up of this 'be obvious' bs. Your wives and girlfriends are not your carers, mothers or nurses. If you see something needs doing, do it. You do not need to be asked. Some men like to hide behind a wall of 'stupidity' in order to get out of things. 'You're better at it than me anyway' or 'I'd just do it wrong so you should do it' etc etc. You are not idiots, but have been conditioned by society to act this way.
I think I explained 500 times not to mix whites with colors when he does the laundry. His answer is always: then do it yourself. Gives him an excuse not to do it at all.... But then next time same thing happens...
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Aww. .... If you were here you'd get the biggest hug ever!
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Im older and I used to be fit, my hair used to be black,I had no wrinkles,etc. I know it happens to us all but no matter how I work out the skin still isnt youthful any longer. I eat/drink healthy and I have still gotten cellulite now. Im still adjusting and some compliments from her would go so far. Believe me I know what my issues are but Id like for everyone else to pretend theyre not there or Im just being OCD.
Quite curious how a lot of these comments are along the lines of "women, change how you communicate, so that we don't have to."
And if the post was 'women tell men things they don't know' it would probably be reversed..
Load More Replies... I feel like a hero when i fix something she asked me to.The more witnesses the better.
Women need to learn where the guys G Spot is.... and no its not what you think. This will take the guy to a whole new level. Ask your guy..... and if he doesnt know..... prostate ladies prostate.....
I like the aroma of your own body, not the perfume's or the deodorant's
Most men can't stand reality soaps (TOWIE, Geordie Shore, Made In Chelsea etc), and even more men think the cast are not worthy of the status of "celeb". And they're not. They're famous for what, exactly. On the flip side... Dangermouse and Bagpuss? Legends.
Wow @tjler sounds like you got run over by angry femdomme with pms and kicked to the curb for being too pussy and moany. Issues much?
We are NOT mind readers! You need something? Ask for it! Want to say something? SAY it! "Something wrong, hun?" Don't say no if it's the opposite! For me, No and nothing realy means NO and NOTHING.
Reading the responses from women to these, it's clear why so many men are starting to be happy being single. You're all showing your toxic femininity.
So good to know, though we're on a break ,really hoping that I could kiss him back
These are kinda funny and kinda sad, but true of most of the men I've known. Basically we're all just people and the same things.
a lot of these should be common sense--times have changed from the male of the 40s-50s that didn't share their feelings or cook or have more involvement in raising their kids. a lot of these can be said for males as well as females--like, stop hinting and just ask for what you want. Men are people too & need compliments & affirmations just like women do. Give me a man that's not afraid to open up & be himself around me ANY day!
No advise/comment/how girls should react on the famous " I'm naked , but your d**k is sleeping" or the "how come that you finished if I didn't even started ?". On a way that don't hurt men's
Everybody saying “its a ppl thing” just shut up. Having these men express their “secrets” are actually pretty awesome and having u s**t on it saying “ohh duhh me too!” is aggravating. This is about them FOR ONCE. Damn it🙄
This is a social media site where people are sharing their own experiences for solidarity's sake and to show men that "hey you're not alone in this, everyone does this" because it can make you feel alone and misunderstood if you feel like people can't understand where you come from. So I don't understand how it's s******g on it to say "me too" when this is a social media site where people are supposed to share their thoughts and experiences??
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Ga away you annoying f**k. People like you keep the problem going. It's not pitied and not gentle it's finding common ground. If you're so narrow minded you can't see that just go away
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"Women think and assume too much." → talking about assumptions....
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It's good to have open conversations about men's insecurities and issues too, and there always needs to be mutual open communication in a relationship, regardless of whether that's a male/female or male/male or female/female relationship because people are different and express themselves and their needs differently
It really is so important. Sadly, there are still a lot of people out there who mock this sort of thing, and it makes me so sad. We're all human beings, we all deserve the same right to express our feelings without fear.
Load More Replies... We are often ashamed of showing emotion because it's been used against us in the past. "He cries! lol. What a weakling." We go to the bathroom and cry, letting out emotion in solitude and come back with extra Machismo to mask it.
This makes me so mad/sad. I am middle-aged and even in my childhood it was considered normal for girls and boys to cry and show emotions. How can it be that a generation later men still have to deal with being allowed to act HUMAN? :(
Load More Replies... Also I think, I'm not sure, but I think most men want to be a hero, whether it's in a symbolic or a literal sense, we want the chance to be redeemable and respected. The chance to come to someones aid, to defend someones honor, to save the day - it sounds a bit wanky and can apply to women as well, but there's something to it I think
For years, I've wanted a flight attendant to come out and ask the passengers if anyone can land a plane. I would be there so fast!
Load More Replies... I was expecting more brutal truths. But glad to see the fraternity stayed strong! ;)
i would have LOVED to see some brutal truths--some of us actually learn from them
Load More Replies... I think one of the greatest "secret" I've learned about men is that they get anxious about starting a family as well. In my culture, there is this whole scheme they feed you, that you as a woman should procreate no-matter what, that you are worth only your reproductive capability, besides you have a shelf-life, etc. etc. I guess it just never occurred to me that men could possibly get worried about such a thing.
My husband never tells me he liked my food. I have to watch and when he takes seconds, it means he likes it. But if he just finishes his plate and doesn't take seconds, it doesn't mean that he didn't like it, it can also mean that he just isn't that hungry, that he ate too many cookies and ruined his apetite, or that he is in a hurry and will take seconds later in the evening, or that he was just thinking about going to the loo, or that he sees a blue elephant, or.......
I need whatever ingredient you used which made him see blue elephants.
Load More Replies... To be fairly honest, I'm a woman and can still relate to some of these, like the ones about zoning off and thinking about opening a brewery in the middle of nowhere and the story about the T-rex. Also, the two drops rule ending up on your pants is valid for both sexes. Not having toilet paper at hand(because someone else finished it and didn't put a new roll)sucks.
I loved this post. Sometimes you guys seem so sure and unassailable, that I feel superfluous. It's very very nice to hear sometimes that what's going on in your head is actually pretty similar. And that you also worry if we like you back and stuff. (And that it doesn't matter that I cut my hair) And just to share, I had an American boyfriend once and he was always raised with the idea that men and women were fundamentally different. We're not. We're all human first and are insecure and shy and trip and stuff. Only after that comes the gender thing. And even though I knew it, you still tend to overlook it. That's why it's nice to see posts like this from time to time. And trust us, we usually operate on the premise that you aren't attracted to us. Please let us know, only take care of where so if the girl turns out to be mean you have a buffer. Also most of us dislike the high maintenance b****y girls too, don't judge us all by their a*s backwards behaviour. Thanks!
It's very true. I was raised with 'men are from Mars, women are from Venus' where really it should be "The solar system is big and empty, all life is amazing'"
Load More Replies... I'm so fed up of this 'be obvious' bs. Your wives and girlfriends are not your carers, mothers or nurses. If you see something needs doing, do it. You do not need to be asked. Some men like to hide behind a wall of 'stupidity' in order to get out of things. 'You're better at it than me anyway' or 'I'd just do it wrong so you should do it' etc etc. You are not idiots, but have been conditioned by society to act this way.
I think I explained 500 times not to mix whites with colors when he does the laundry. His answer is always: then do it yourself. Gives him an excuse not to do it at all.... But then next time same thing happens...
Load More Replies... Aww. .... If you were here you'd get the biggest hug ever!
Load More Replies... Im older and I used to be fit, my hair used to be black,I had no wrinkles,etc. I know it happens to us all but no matter how I work out the skin still isnt youthful any longer. I eat/drink healthy and I have still gotten cellulite now. Im still adjusting and some compliments from her would go so far. Believe me I know what my issues are but Id like for everyone else to pretend theyre not there or Im just being OCD.
Quite curious how a lot of these comments are along the lines of "women, change how you communicate, so that we don't have to."
And if the post was 'women tell men things they don't know' it would probably be reversed..
Load More Replies... I feel like a hero when i fix something she asked me to.The more witnesses the better.
Women need to learn where the guys G Spot is.... and no its not what you think. This will take the guy to a whole new level. Ask your guy..... and if he doesnt know..... prostate ladies prostate.....
I like the aroma of your own body, not the perfume's or the deodorant's
Most men can't stand reality soaps (TOWIE, Geordie Shore, Made In Chelsea etc), and even more men think the cast are not worthy of the status of "celeb". And they're not. They're famous for what, exactly. On the flip side... Dangermouse and Bagpuss? Legends.
Wow @tjler sounds like you got run over by angry femdomme with pms and kicked to the curb for being too pussy and moany. Issues much?
We are NOT mind readers! You need something? Ask for it! Want to say something? SAY it! "Something wrong, hun?" Don't say no if it's the opposite! For me, No and nothing realy means NO and NOTHING.
Reading the responses from women to these, it's clear why so many men are starting to be happy being single. You're all showing your toxic femininity.
So good to know, though we're on a break ,really hoping that I could kiss him back
These are kinda funny and kinda sad, but true of most of the men I've known. Basically we're all just people and the same things.
a lot of these should be common sense--times have changed from the male of the 40s-50s that didn't share their feelings or cook or have more involvement in raising their kids. a lot of these can be said for males as well as females--like, stop hinting and just ask for what you want. Men are people too & need compliments & affirmations just like women do. Give me a man that's not afraid to open up & be himself around me ANY day!
No advise/comment/how girls should react on the famous " I'm naked , but your d**k is sleeping" or the "how come that you finished if I didn't even started ?". On a way that don't hurt men's
Everybody saying “its a ppl thing” just shut up. Having these men express their “secrets” are actually pretty awesome and having u s**t on it saying “ohh duhh me too!” is aggravating. This is about them FOR ONCE. Damn it🙄
This is a social media site where people are sharing their own experiences for solidarity's sake and to show men that "hey you're not alone in this, everyone does this" because it can make you feel alone and misunderstood if you feel like people can't understand where you come from. So I don't understand how it's s******g on it to say "me too" when this is a social media site where people are supposed to share their thoughts and experiences??
Load More Replies... Ga away you annoying f**k. People like you keep the problem going. It's not pitied and not gentle it's finding common ground. If you're so narrow minded you can't see that just go away
Load More Replies... "Women think and assume too much." → talking about assumptions....
Load More Replies... 