Does the Loch Ness Monster really exist? What happened to the crew of Mary Celeste? And what are guys up to when they're taking long showers? While we might never find out the answers to the first two mysteries, the latter has just been revealed. Together with a bunch of other men secrets most girls probably have no clue about. Recently, someone on reddit asked "What Are Some 'Guy Secrets' Girls Don't Know About?" and it got funnier and funnier with every answer. Amassing over 80K upvotes in just a few days, this post has become sort of like a diary of the 21st century man, and you couldn't make this stuff up. Scroll down to check out the entries and upvote your faves!
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"We are task orientated" absolutely true! we respond better with, "can you get me a blanket?" our brain process that faster than "I'm cold" statement.
This is definitely something everyone needs to remember, that guys can be mentally ill and have body issues and insecurities the same way everyone does and it's important to accept that and give them the space they need to express that
Yeah, growing up with the boys don't cry thing really screwed me up with regards to opening up emotionally.
See folks - toxic masculinity IS real. I am so sorry Wynand that you had that experience.
Load More Replies...But.. I'm manly enough to say 'f**k it' and talk about my feelings anyway or cry when I feel the need to.. I don't care what I'm supposed to do ¯_(ツ)_/¯
Lucky you :D It would be great if everyone was that confident (male or female), including me :( I'm jealous
Load More Replies...Growing up I had a friend who was anorexic, and he struggled to get treatment as "boys don't get anorexia". They do. He also struggled with everyone thinking he was homosexual, as "if he's got an eating disorder he must be gay, MEN don't get eating disorders". They do, regardless of & utterly unrelated to their sexuality. He was labelled as an attention seeker, because he should "man up & just stop being daft". People do not need labels. He was forced to leave school at 15 because of bullying & hate & ignorance. This was 20 something years ago & not enough has changed. We lost him at the age of 20, suicide, but the anorexia would have taken him before much longer. I still talk to him, I wish I could give him better news about the way things have progressed. His name was Jude. X
I am so sorry you lost your friend at such a young age. Sadly, almost nothing has changed since then. Not on this subject anyway. A lot of the kids in junior high and high schools tend to be cruel towards anyone who is even a little different from them. And peer pressure is just as bad as ever. They need to create a class that students have to take once a week for grades K-3 and daily for grades 4-12. The class should focus on things like decency, respect, empathy, love of others, how to treat others the way you want to be treated, etc. They should also teach them what not to do, such as bullying, being hateful, hurting others, online bullying, fighting, etc. If they could do this nationwide, (worldwide) our children would grow up happier, healthier, less cruel, less violent, and they wouldn't dread going to school as badly as they do now. We need to teach them these things so that they can be better people, and have a better future. It could save a lot of lives.
Load More Replies...It's horrible--people are always saying "boys don't cry" or "boys are always full of themselves" but that's a toxic stereotype. I know a boy who is severely depressed and lonely and I have tried to talk to him and help, but he always says he doesn't want help. Boys are taught to do things themselves and not ask for help, but that's just wrong. Gender equality, people.
Do people still actually say "Boys don't cry?". I haven't heard that since the late 80ies.
Load More Replies...Guys need to start talking about this among themselves instead of shaming each other for it.
why? so you can say "man up" to us, or laugh? :D Its worthless to talk to women, from our perspective. Almost always it ends up bad for the guy in one way or another.
Load More Replies...I'm a hetero male, no emo issues or anything. But my two brothers are completely caveman - beer, sport, never show any emotion other than anger, that sort of thing. We get on okay, But my sister and I get on *really* well because I always say how I feel. Also, I sit down to pee (and haven't turned gay yet from doing that!) Not all men are stuck in the previous century, and nor do they need to be.
Yeah, the anger may be hiding it. I used to hurt myself and others when I really wanted a good cry and a hug.
Load More Replies...The whole ppint about feminsim is exactly that: Equal opportunities for all genders - which not only means better jobsy for women but also more emotional freedom for men.
We are emotionally free. We will just often CHOOSE not to talk to you, because you have shown that you are not good enough for that.
Load More Replies...This is why it's important, as mothers, to reassure our sons that it IS okay to cry, it IS okay to feel hurt, angry, etc. My son was very sensitive growing up, and I think he had a problem with that, afraid his friends would make fun of him.
i went through testicular cancer, and when i was told that they did not give me my prosthetic, and i asked when it could be done, i was told that it's not like anyone would see...well, it is no different whether one is man or woman gay or straight...it destroyed me for a long time...
people tell us to talk and then openly ignore it, or if its something they disagree with its brushed off as Male privilege and were demonised for our sex . . . . . if you want me to talk you actually have to listen
Start by listening to other men in your life then.
Load More Replies...Absolutely! I think it's being more recognised now than before and hopefully it will be less taboo. Same for male victims of sexual and domestic abuse. We need to help one another, not condemn. Having emotions and showing them is healthy for all of us.
I'm feeling sorry that he actually has to mention this, it should be obvious (at least for me it is).
Because we can't. I have always been open about my feelings and struggles, since I was a teen and I'm pushing 30 now, and it's gotten me s**t. I'm now learning stoicism. Forget being open. That's not what they missed. It's how to process our feelings that we weren't taught and need to be. Nobody cares until you don't need them to.
I don’t think men having issues is a problem. It is that they either don’t work on them or put solution into their partners hands that really makes women not cooperating.
It is a stigma. One I've faced a lot. Thankfully attitudes toward mental health are changing for the better, slowly but surely.
I have always tried to allow the people I care about in my life, the room to be human. We all want to be seen, appreciated, and given support when we are having a difficult time in life. I had several guy friends that many wouldn't consider to be "cool" or part of an "in crowd". But they were all great guys, with heart and a great sense of humor. My male friends were often more supportive of me than most of my female friends. They actually actively listened and picked up when I was feeling off. I do the same for them, and try to encourage them, and remind them what great guys they are. I try to include others who some people don't deem worthy of noticing. You can miss out on some great friendships if you just look at the outside of people. Men deserve and need loving support, just as much as women do.
Guys don't grow up with "emotional language" like girls do, so often can't effectively identify/name what they are feeling, let alone know how to discuss it. Don't make it hard for them when they try!
I'm a girl and have several things wrong with me, and my boyfriend's helped me only slightly. I have depression, anxiety, ADHD, OCD, growth hormone deficiency, and split personalities, AND I worry about my body of course and I hate myself for being who I am. I want my boyfriend to open up to me but I don't know how to get him to talk to me.
If he does not open up, he has a reason. Dont push, its his right not to open up, and you dont really have a right to influence such decisions.
Load More Replies...Important issue. I belong to a support group, sad how few men seek help/ supprt and rather lurk on the outskirts and gather info from the discussions of the women. Men have to be allowed to seek help and be ok with it.
I guarantee you that men don't have just as many issues with body image (in the US at least), though unfortunately it's getting worse and worse for guys with each generation. Pretty soon, we'll be equal! And then, the population will die off, because no one will ever feel like they are good enough for having sex, and the only people who will have sex are overly-confident sociopaths.
then EU will colonise north america again, together with Canada? :)
Load More Replies...Toxic masculinity is a recent term that coins that behavior men are expected to have: be strong, don't cry, be tough, don't admit weakness, don't be girly, don't ask for guidance or directions.Those who were taught that way often preach it too, unfortunately, men and women. It's okay to have feelings, to feel sorry for others, or feel angry about them (not advocating violence), and to TALK about it too, in an appropriate way! Emotions that are repressed will result most of the time in some emotional problem or frustration. Men who don't talk about what they feel often get frustrated and angry about other men expressing feelings. I had a friend I had to "quit" because he was very negative about any feeling I shared with him: he yelled at me that "I should not care". He ended up in depression... had to quit his job. Feel sorry for the guy, but I had to break the friendship, he had issues he didn't want to talk about but I hope he is, one day, able to open to someone that will help.
masculinity is never toxic. You are toxic.
Load More Replies...Of course, there are other reasons to act strange or not be all there.
This is so true, and it really sucks how society has these sayings like "man up" and such. I'm married to a man who is all man and yet doesn't run from talking about feelings or mental health struggles, and it's opened my eyes so much to how much more similar we are than I realized. Be true to yourselves men!!
Tell that men, not women ! We would LOVE guys to talk more about their "inside" !!
The point is that society implants the idea that men can't show emotion if they are "real men".
Load More Replies...women feel only they have feelings......... if so, to whom were men born & what kind of feelings should they have???
Well, wives are constantly trying to get their husband to speak, but they say they aren't thinking about anything. So, it's not our fault. We try, you just won't speak.
There is so much wrong with this comment I do not even know what to say.
Load More Replies...Yes, of coure, it's all women's fault. *eyeroll* Nothing is ever any one group's fault! Also: you need help.
Load More Replies...Lucky you. I had my hairdresser tell me I looked like a junkie because I had let my hair grow out. Needless to say I didn't visit her again.
This is no secret, those who do this are heroes and are celebrated.
I laughed at this for way too long, because I can't think of a single time I tied something down and didn't say that.
And it also smells nice. I think shampoo smells better than most of the expensive perfumes.
true! even for those of us who are short. We will jump just to fulfill our primal instinct
It's good to have open conversations about men's insecurities and issues too, and there always needs to be mutual open communication in a relationship, regardless of whether that's a male/female or male/male or female/female relationship because people are different and express themselves and their needs differently
It really is so important. Sadly, there are still a lot of people out there who mock this sort of thing, and it makes me so sad. We're all human beings, we all deserve the same right to express our feelings without fear.
Load More Replies...We are often ashamed of showing emotion because it's been used against us in the past. "He cries! lol. What a weakling." We go to the bathroom and cry, letting out emotion in solitude and come back with extra Machismo to mask it.
This makes me so mad/sad. I am middle-aged and even in my childhood it was considered normal for girls and boys to cry and show emotions. How can it be that a generation later men still have to deal with being allowed to act HUMAN? :(
Load More Replies...Also I think, I'm not sure, but I think most men want to be a hero, whether it's in a symbolic or a literal sense, we want the chance to be redeemable and respected. The chance to come to someones aid, to defend someones honor, to save the day - it sounds a bit wanky and can apply to women as well, but there's something to it I think
For years, I've wanted a flight attendant to come out and ask the passengers if anyone can land a plane. I would be there so fast!
Load More Replies...I was expecting more brutal truths. But glad to see the fraternity stayed strong! ;)
i would have LOVED to see some brutal truths--some of us actually learn from them
Load More Replies...I think one of the greatest "secret" I've learned about men is that they get anxious about starting a family as well. In my culture, there is this whole scheme they feed you, that you as a woman should procreate no-matter what, that you are worth only your reproductive capability, besides you have a shelf-life, etc. etc. I guess it just never occurred to me that men could possibly get worried about such a thing.
My husband never tells me he liked my food. I have to watch and when he takes seconds, it means he likes it. But if he just finishes his plate and doesn't take seconds, it doesn't mean that he didn't like it, it can also mean that he just isn't that hungry, that he ate too many cookies and ruined his apetite, or that he is in a hurry and will take seconds later in the evening, or that he was just thinking about going to the loo, or that he sees a blue elephant, or.......
I need whatever ingredient you used which made him see blue elephants.
Load More Replies...To be fairly honest, I'm a woman and can still relate to some of these, like the ones about zoning off and thinking about opening a brewery in the middle of nowhere and the story about the T-rex. Also, the two drops rule ending up on your pants is valid for both sexes. Not having toilet paper at hand(because someone else finished it and didn't put a new roll)sucks.
I loved this post. Sometimes you guys seem so sure and unassailable, that I feel superfluous. It's very very nice to hear sometimes that what's going on in your head is actually pretty similar. And that you also worry if we like you back and stuff. (And that it doesn't matter that I cut my hair) And just to share, I had an American boyfriend once and he was always raised with the idea that men and women were fundamentally different. We're not. We're all human first and are insecure and shy and trip and stuff. Only after that comes the gender thing. And even though I knew it, you still tend to overlook it. That's why it's nice to see posts like this from time to time. And trust us, we usually operate on the premise that you aren't attracted to us. Please let us know, only take care of where so if the girl turns out to be mean you have a buffer. Also most of us dislike the high maintenance b****y girls too, don't judge us all by their a*s backwards behaviour. Thanks!
It's very true. I was raised with 'men are from Mars, women are from Venus' where really it should be "The solar system is big and empty, all life is amazing'"
Load More Replies...I'm so fed up of this 'be obvious' bs. Your wives and girlfriends are not your carers, mothers or nurses. If you see something needs doing, do it. You do not need to be asked. Some men like to hide behind a wall of 'stupidity' in order to get out of things. 'You're better at it than me anyway' or 'I'd just do it wrong so you should do it' etc etc. You are not idiots, but have been conditioned by society to act this way.
I think I explained 500 times not to mix whites with colors when he does the laundry. His answer is always: then do it yourself. Gives him an excuse not to do it at all.... But then next time same thing happens...
Load More Replies...Aww. .... If you were here you'd get the biggest hug ever!
Load More Replies...Im older and I used to be fit, my hair used to be black,I had no wrinkles,etc. I know it happens to us all but no matter how I work out the skin still isnt youthful any longer. I eat/drink healthy and I have still gotten cellulite now. Im still adjusting and some compliments from her would go so far. Believe me I know what my issues are but Id like for everyone else to pretend theyre not there or Im just being OCD.
Quite curious how a lot of these comments are along the lines of "women, change how you communicate, so that we don't have to."
And if the post was 'women tell men things they don't know' it would probably be reversed..
Load More Replies...I feel like a hero when i fix something she asked me to.The more witnesses the better.
Women need to learn where the guys G Spot is.... and no its not what you think. This will take the guy to a whole new level. Ask your guy..... and if he doesnt know..... prostate ladies prostate.....
I like the aroma of your own body, not the perfume's or the deodorant's
Most men can't stand reality soaps (TOWIE, Geordie Shore, Made In Chelsea etc), and even more men think the cast are not worthy of the status of "celeb". And they're not. They're famous for what, exactly. On the flip side... Dangermouse and Bagpuss? Legends.
Wow @tjler sounds like you got run over by angry femdomme with pms and kicked to the curb for being too pussy and moany. Issues much?
We are NOT mind readers! You need something? Ask for it! Want to say something? SAY it! "Something wrong, hun?" Don't say no if it's the opposite! For me, No and nothing realy means NO and NOTHING.
Reading the responses from women to these, it's clear why so many men are starting to be happy being single. You're all showing your toxic femininity.
So good to know, though we're on a break ,really hoping that I could kiss him back
These are kinda funny and kinda sad, but true of most of the men I've known. Basically we're all just people and the same things.
a lot of these should be common sense--times have changed from the male of the 40s-50s that didn't share their feelings or cook or have more involvement in raising their kids. a lot of these can be said for males as well as females--like, stop hinting and just ask for what you want. Men are people too & need compliments & affirmations just like women do. Give me a man that's not afraid to open up & be himself around me ANY day!
No advise/comment/how girls should react on the famous " I'm naked , but your d**k is sleeping" or the "how come that you finished if I didn't even started ?". On a way that don't hurt men's
Everybody saying “its a ppl thing” just shut up. Having these men express their “secrets” are actually pretty awesome and having u s**t on it saying “ohh duhh me too!” is aggravating. This is about them FOR ONCE. Damn it🙄
This is a social media site where people are sharing their own experiences for solidarity's sake and to show men that "hey you're not alone in this, everyone does this" because it can make you feel alone and misunderstood if you feel like people can't understand where you come from. So I don't understand how it's s******g on it to say "me too" when this is a social media site where people are supposed to share their thoughts and experiences??
Load More Replies...Ga away you annoying f**k. People like you keep the problem going. It's not pitied and not gentle it's finding common ground. If you're so narrow minded you can't see that just go away
Load More Replies..."Women think and assume too much." → talking about assumptions....
Load More Replies...It's good to have open conversations about men's insecurities and issues too, and there always needs to be mutual open communication in a relationship, regardless of whether that's a male/female or male/male or female/female relationship because people are different and express themselves and their needs differently
It really is so important. Sadly, there are still a lot of people out there who mock this sort of thing, and it makes me so sad. We're all human beings, we all deserve the same right to express our feelings without fear.
Load More Replies...We are often ashamed of showing emotion because it's been used against us in the past. "He cries! lol. What a weakling." We go to the bathroom and cry, letting out emotion in solitude and come back with extra Machismo to mask it.
This makes me so mad/sad. I am middle-aged and even in my childhood it was considered normal for girls and boys to cry and show emotions. How can it be that a generation later men still have to deal with being allowed to act HUMAN? :(
Load More Replies...Also I think, I'm not sure, but I think most men want to be a hero, whether it's in a symbolic or a literal sense, we want the chance to be redeemable and respected. The chance to come to someones aid, to defend someones honor, to save the day - it sounds a bit wanky and can apply to women as well, but there's something to it I think
For years, I've wanted a flight attendant to come out and ask the passengers if anyone can land a plane. I would be there so fast!
Load More Replies...I was expecting more brutal truths. But glad to see the fraternity stayed strong! ;)
i would have LOVED to see some brutal truths--some of us actually learn from them
Load More Replies...I think one of the greatest "secret" I've learned about men is that they get anxious about starting a family as well. In my culture, there is this whole scheme they feed you, that you as a woman should procreate no-matter what, that you are worth only your reproductive capability, besides you have a shelf-life, etc. etc. I guess it just never occurred to me that men could possibly get worried about such a thing.
My husband never tells me he liked my food. I have to watch and when he takes seconds, it means he likes it. But if he just finishes his plate and doesn't take seconds, it doesn't mean that he didn't like it, it can also mean that he just isn't that hungry, that he ate too many cookies and ruined his apetite, or that he is in a hurry and will take seconds later in the evening, or that he was just thinking about going to the loo, or that he sees a blue elephant, or.......
I need whatever ingredient you used which made him see blue elephants.
Load More Replies...To be fairly honest, I'm a woman and can still relate to some of these, like the ones about zoning off and thinking about opening a brewery in the middle of nowhere and the story about the T-rex. Also, the two drops rule ending up on your pants is valid for both sexes. Not having toilet paper at hand(because someone else finished it and didn't put a new roll)sucks.
I loved this post. Sometimes you guys seem so sure and unassailable, that I feel superfluous. It's very very nice to hear sometimes that what's going on in your head is actually pretty similar. And that you also worry if we like you back and stuff. (And that it doesn't matter that I cut my hair) And just to share, I had an American boyfriend once and he was always raised with the idea that men and women were fundamentally different. We're not. We're all human first and are insecure and shy and trip and stuff. Only after that comes the gender thing. And even though I knew it, you still tend to overlook it. That's why it's nice to see posts like this from time to time. And trust us, we usually operate on the premise that you aren't attracted to us. Please let us know, only take care of where so if the girl turns out to be mean you have a buffer. Also most of us dislike the high maintenance b****y girls too, don't judge us all by their a*s backwards behaviour. Thanks!
It's very true. I was raised with 'men are from Mars, women are from Venus' where really it should be "The solar system is big and empty, all life is amazing'"
Load More Replies...I'm so fed up of this 'be obvious' bs. Your wives and girlfriends are not your carers, mothers or nurses. If you see something needs doing, do it. You do not need to be asked. Some men like to hide behind a wall of 'stupidity' in order to get out of things. 'You're better at it than me anyway' or 'I'd just do it wrong so you should do it' etc etc. You are not idiots, but have been conditioned by society to act this way.
I think I explained 500 times not to mix whites with colors when he does the laundry. His answer is always: then do it yourself. Gives him an excuse not to do it at all.... But then next time same thing happens...
Load More Replies...Aww. .... If you were here you'd get the biggest hug ever!
Load More Replies...Im older and I used to be fit, my hair used to be black,I had no wrinkles,etc. I know it happens to us all but no matter how I work out the skin still isnt youthful any longer. I eat/drink healthy and I have still gotten cellulite now. Im still adjusting and some compliments from her would go so far. Believe me I know what my issues are but Id like for everyone else to pretend theyre not there or Im just being OCD.
Quite curious how a lot of these comments are along the lines of "women, change how you communicate, so that we don't have to."
And if the post was 'women tell men things they don't know' it would probably be reversed..
Load More Replies...I feel like a hero when i fix something she asked me to.The more witnesses the better.
Women need to learn where the guys G Spot is.... and no its not what you think. This will take the guy to a whole new level. Ask your guy..... and if he doesnt know..... prostate ladies prostate.....
I like the aroma of your own body, not the perfume's or the deodorant's
Most men can't stand reality soaps (TOWIE, Geordie Shore, Made In Chelsea etc), and even more men think the cast are not worthy of the status of "celeb". And they're not. They're famous for what, exactly. On the flip side... Dangermouse and Bagpuss? Legends.
Wow @tjler sounds like you got run over by angry femdomme with pms and kicked to the curb for being too pussy and moany. Issues much?
We are NOT mind readers! You need something? Ask for it! Want to say something? SAY it! "Something wrong, hun?" Don't say no if it's the opposite! For me, No and nothing realy means NO and NOTHING.
Reading the responses from women to these, it's clear why so many men are starting to be happy being single. You're all showing your toxic femininity.
So good to know, though we're on a break ,really hoping that I could kiss him back
These are kinda funny and kinda sad, but true of most of the men I've known. Basically we're all just people and the same things.
a lot of these should be common sense--times have changed from the male of the 40s-50s that didn't share their feelings or cook or have more involvement in raising their kids. a lot of these can be said for males as well as females--like, stop hinting and just ask for what you want. Men are people too & need compliments & affirmations just like women do. Give me a man that's not afraid to open up & be himself around me ANY day!
No advise/comment/how girls should react on the famous " I'm naked , but your d**k is sleeping" or the "how come that you finished if I didn't even started ?". On a way that don't hurt men's
Everybody saying “its a ppl thing” just shut up. Having these men express their “secrets” are actually pretty awesome and having u s**t on it saying “ohh duhh me too!” is aggravating. This is about them FOR ONCE. Damn it🙄
This is a social media site where people are sharing their own experiences for solidarity's sake and to show men that "hey you're not alone in this, everyone does this" because it can make you feel alone and misunderstood if you feel like people can't understand where you come from. So I don't understand how it's s******g on it to say "me too" when this is a social media site where people are supposed to share their thoughts and experiences??
Load More Replies...Ga away you annoying f**k. People like you keep the problem going. It's not pitied and not gentle it's finding common ground. If you're so narrow minded you can't see that just go away
Load More Replies..."Women think and assume too much." → talking about assumptions....
Load More Replies...