Does the Loch Ness Monster really exist? What happened to the crew of Mary Celeste? And what are guys up to when they're taking long showers? While we might never find out the answers to the first two mysteries, the latter has just been revealed. Together with a bunch of other men secrets most girls probably have no clue about. Recently, someone on reddit asked "What Are Some 'Guy Secrets' Girls Don't Know About?" and it got funnier and funnier with every answer. Amassing over 80K upvotes in just a few days, this post has become sort of like a diary of the 21st century man, and you couldn't make this stuff up. Scroll down to check out the entries and upvote your faves!
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"We are task orientated" absolutely true! we respond better with, "can you get me a blanket?" our brain process that faster than "I'm cold" statement.
Yep. When you say "I am cold" I am thinking "me too dear, can't wait for summer".
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I am a strange woman and I tell my husband exactly what I want/need or why I am upset. My husband stuck on the idea that when a woman says "no" it means "yes" and so... we go into conflict very often. The one that drives me crazy the most is when he asks me if I am hungry, and I say no, he thinks I mean yes and insists. He continues to ask me until I get upset and then tells me I am upset because I am hungry. I understand why he does that but still annoys me so much.
Haha omg i feel for you! I think i also say what i mean
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I'm not saying anyone needs to be Sherlock but if my missus said "i'm cold", my brain cogs would turn and come to the conclusion she needs warming up, and i smoke weed all day every day my brain is rusty, come on guys sort it out.
I don’t think so. A lot of men are problem solvers. Tell a lot of men you’re cold, and you’ll be bundled in blankets before you finish the sentence. My fiancé is this way and I have to be careful with my complaints or he’ll do everything for me even if I just felt like complaining.
I hear guys always claim to wanting to be told exactly why we're annoyed, yet when we do let them know, we're "nagging" or annoying. It's one of those can't win situations.
Yes! It's not even about the how of it, it's when we do ask, it gets ignored, then comes the "I'm cold" or I almost broke my neck on the driveway", it's because we already asked usually more than once.
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And at the other side we are worrying that we are too high maintenance.
True. Sometimes the worries are so irrational you start thinking you're a burden to those who love you most and then self-guilt kicks in and you have to remind yourself all these are irrational negative thoughts and that your brain is trolling you.
Load More Replies... I like the "if it's realistic" part. Some guys need to CONSTANTLY be reminded about some bad habits (or lack of the good ones). So, at a certain point, you just give up.
Guess if the bad habits or lack of good ones is such an issue that constant reminding is necessary you are probably not in the right relationship.
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If my wife says she's cold, I fetch a blanket if at home, a coat if outside etc ... It's not hard to understand...
You, Dear Sir, are the exception to the general rule. You actually pay close attention to your wife, and you use your brain. She's a lucky woman.
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Nah, you just don't care. When you love someone, you pay attention to how they're feeling, and want to make it better. Asking for every single little thing feels like NAGGING.
It depends on how you ask for things. If you think you are entitled to all the attentions in the world all the time and you expect to be served like a queen all the time, it feels like nagging. Your partner also has feelings and needs, and you are not the centre of the universe.
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What BS. This applies to SOME PEOPLE. It is not a male/female thing. I've known plenty of people where if you tell them something bothers you like leaving shoes once a week directly at the bottom of the stairs where it is very dark, they get mad at you. So, you tell them or not? You're damned if you do and damned if you don't.
Why did no one ever tell me this? I'm 49, and I'm just now finding out that if I ask for something, a man might actually get up and get it for me. I think I'm in shock.
I dont think this is a gendered thing. I think most people cant read minds.... However, when women are direct, its called being b****y or nagging.
This is true in the classroom. "You guys are getting too loud" doesn't have the same response as "stop shouting across the room! Use quiet whisper voices to the person next to you!"
So many women want men to read their minds. That is so silly and only leads to frustration. Speak up and be as direct as possible - in ALL situations (yes, sex too!). SMH
Absolutely! Why do so many women seem to have the idea that "if I have to ask/tell him, it doesn't count"? The most unwanted gifts I've ever received have been from men "reading my mind" and the worst lovers are those who think they already know a body they've never touched before.
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Why wouldn't you know though? It seems obvious to me. If someone has a problem and they communicate it, then I want to address it. If my child says she is hungry, I will give her food. She told me the problem, I have the solution, which is to give her food. She didn't have to say "mommy, can you please give me food". She only had to say "I'm hungry".
It took many many years, but my boyfriend finally gets the I'm cold message. I'm so proud lol.
It would've taken a lot less time if you would've just said that you wanted a blanket or if you would've got off your a** and got it yourself.
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Just watch old home improvement shows.... I learned so much as well as I thought Jill's point of view was right on. Tim's question of "is this written down somewhere? is really a given both ways. So the way men/women do things were really explained for the opposite side to understand.
The flip side is that any time a woman shares a problem with a man does not mean she wants him to tell her how to solve it.
Don't use that sad, pittiful, begging tone with me if you want something. It's frickingly annoying. Just ask.
Fact there. I am constantly asking my wife to stop hinting and tell me what she really is saying.
For a lot of women, saying "I'm cold" to a man already implies stating a need. And proceeding with "can you get this or that or whatever" is perceived as being "needy" or capricious. Moreover, we want you to show you care about us, spend some mental effort for us and not just mechanically perform an action. I can get the damn blanket myself, after all. It is more about caring. 🙄 In general, men are usually more low-context and need explicit directions. Women are high-context and a lot is implied. Maybe, some effort from both sides can be the best solution. ❤️
Hoo boy, a lot of women on here getting upset that men are asking them to act like adults and ask for something, rather than whining like a toddler. Unbelievable.
I for one am HORRIBLE at grasping this code-talk, if you need X then say "I need X" and I'll understand.
Yeah I'm like that too funny she says go f**k yourself & I say iwas going to anyway
Once I dated this guy and whenever I told him I was mad at him for something, he would tell me that I was being ridiculous and ask what my problem was. It's so hard for me to explain what I'm mad about now because I'm used to people just getting angry with me when I tell them.
Rmen dont fo well with subtles, you have to give then specific requests..plod, plod!! 😀
Literally took me 10 years to figure out that when a woman asks "are you hungry?" she means, "I'm hungry"
Right! Soon after I had moved out of my parents house I told my mom when I met her, that I had to go because I needed to buy toilet paper. She said, "I usually buy brand so-and-so." I left and got my toilet paper and next time I saw my mom, she asked where HER toilet paper was. Her telling me what brand she prefers sounded like a suggestion to me, NOT like her asking me to get her some, as well. She should have said, while you're there, get me a package of so-and-so." Right, guys?
And for god’s sake, don’t just say “it’s cold.” We take that as an invitation to debate.
Something I learned about my husband is don't complain to him or he'll try to solve that problem.
...just like a good dog. Here to please. and I mean that in a good way.
I really feel for my hubby because sometimes I just say random stuff out loud and he starts asking what I need. Like I'll be thinking about something I need to get done and I'll just blurt out "cookies" which I guess is just a way to restart my brain, but here's the poor guy wondering if he should bring me cookies, put cookies on the grocery list, give the dog a cookie. Nah dude, just come to terms with the fact that your wife is weird and if I need something I'll try to phrase my request in an understandable format.
Yes, I'm the same way. -whatwasitagainthatiwantedtogetCOOKIES!
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Should be number 1. We can raise this point to every woman every day and we'll still have to keep doing it.
Yes, if something is bothering you, tell my what it is, don't give me the stank face for days and then expect me to play the "Guess why I'm pissed at you," game.
I'm a female and I totally agree with this, why don't they just tell them what they want?
If i had a dime for every time i had to "figure it out" i would have some good money toady ;)
I often type it, but you actually git the real deal!! LOL!!!
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I'm very independent, but my husband needs to be needed, so sometimes I start a task that I either feign ignorance of or really have no idea what to do, and he'll stop me and say "What the hell are you doing? Let me do that" And I'll say oh thank God, I am lost. tee hee.
omg--THIS cannot be said enough! there are those of us who actually do this, but life would be so much easier if we ALL did!
That I will theoretically agree to. However in practice always stating your intentions and feelings clearly can cause hurt
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Plus we get confused as we are now told to "listen to problems and emphasise, don't try and fix the problem" too...
that's what men do as often as women, you re desribing mentally sick people, not "women" wtf
yes, but women want you to figure it out, they want someone who can tell they are cold just by looking at them and then getting a blanket without being told, otherwise you're just a butler, not a lover
Absolutely. Riddle me this, riddle me that, All I want to hear, is the actual fact.
This also includes the anwser "At its place" if we ask "Where should this go?". Big chance you picked it out of it's place and we can't find the exact place where this should go because it isn't there anymore (and labeling everythings would make us look very sheldon)
Hahaha, and then not labelling the one bowl you use to pee/throw up in!!!! Hahaha
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so the secret about men is that women are all passive aggressive? Got it!
I can't even fathom where you got that from. And btw. NO!!!!
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My husband does c**p like this! Drives me nuts! I can't read your f***** mind, just tell me what you want!!!
I’ve got to wonder if you really didn’t get her point or you just chose not to.
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Lucky you. I had my hairdresser tell me I looked like a junkie because I had let my hair grow out. Needless to say I didn't visit her again.
This is no secret, those who do this are heroes and are celebrated.
I laughed at this for way too long, because I can't think of a single time I tied something down and didn't say that.
And it also smells nice. I think shampoo smells better than most of the expensive perfumes.
true! even for those of us who are short. We will jump just to fulfill our primal instinct
It's good to have open conversations about men's insecurities and issues too, and there always needs to be mutual open communication in a relationship, regardless of whether that's a male/female or male/male or female/female relationship because people are different and express themselves and their needs differently
It really is so important. Sadly, there are still a lot of people out there who mock this sort of thing, and it makes me so sad. We're all human beings, we all deserve the same right to express our feelings without fear.
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We are often ashamed of showing emotion because it's been used against us in the past. "He cries! lol. What a weakling." We go to the bathroom and cry, letting out emotion in solitude and come back with extra Machismo to mask it.
This makes me so mad/sad. I am middle-aged and even in my childhood it was considered normal for girls and boys to cry and show emotions. How can it be that a generation later men still have to deal with being allowed to act HUMAN? :(
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Also I think, I'm not sure, but I think most men want to be a hero, whether it's in a symbolic or a literal sense, we want the chance to be redeemable and respected. The chance to come to someones aid, to defend someones honor, to save the day - it sounds a bit wanky and can apply to women as well, but there's something to it I think
For years, I've wanted a flight attendant to come out and ask the passengers if anyone can land a plane. I would be there so fast!
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I was expecting more brutal truths. But glad to see the fraternity stayed strong! ;)
i would have LOVED to see some brutal truths--some of us actually learn from them
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I think one of the greatest "secret" I've learned about men is that they get anxious about starting a family as well. In my culture, there is this whole scheme they feed you, that you as a woman should procreate no-matter what, that you are worth only your reproductive capability, besides you have a shelf-life, etc. etc. I guess it just never occurred to me that men could possibly get worried about such a thing.
My husband never tells me he liked my food. I have to watch and when he takes seconds, it means he likes it. But if he just finishes his plate and doesn't take seconds, it doesn't mean that he didn't like it, it can also mean that he just isn't that hungry, that he ate too many cookies and ruined his apetite, or that he is in a hurry and will take seconds later in the evening, or that he was just thinking about going to the loo, or that he sees a blue elephant, or.......
I need whatever ingredient you used which made him see blue elephants.
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To be fairly honest, I'm a woman and can still relate to some of these, like the ones about zoning off and thinking about opening a brewery in the middle of nowhere and the story about the T-rex. Also, the two drops rule ending up on your pants is valid for both sexes. Not having toilet paper at hand(because someone else finished it and didn't put a new roll)sucks.
I loved this post. Sometimes you guys seem so sure and unassailable, that I feel superfluous. It's very very nice to hear sometimes that what's going on in your head is actually pretty similar. And that you also worry if we like you back and stuff. (And that it doesn't matter that I cut my hair) And just to share, I had an American boyfriend once and he was always raised with the idea that men and women were fundamentally different. We're not. We're all human first and are insecure and shy and trip and stuff. Only after that comes the gender thing. And even though I knew it, you still tend to overlook it. That's why it's nice to see posts like this from time to time. And trust us, we usually operate on the premise that you aren't attracted to us. Please let us know, only take care of where so if the girl turns out to be mean you have a buffer. Also most of us dislike the high maintenance b****y girls too, don't judge us all by their a*s backwards behaviour. Thanks!
It's very true. I was raised with 'men are from Mars, women are from Venus' where really it should be "The solar system is big and empty, all life is amazing'"
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I'm so fed up of this 'be obvious' bs. Your wives and girlfriends are not your carers, mothers or nurses. If you see something needs doing, do it. You do not need to be asked. Some men like to hide behind a wall of 'stupidity' in order to get out of things. 'You're better at it than me anyway' or 'I'd just do it wrong so you should do it' etc etc. You are not idiots, but have been conditioned by society to act this way.
I think I explained 500 times not to mix whites with colors when he does the laundry. His answer is always: then do it yourself. Gives him an excuse not to do it at all.... But then next time same thing happens...
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Aww. .... If you were here you'd get the biggest hug ever!
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Im older and I used to be fit, my hair used to be black,I had no wrinkles,etc. I know it happens to us all but no matter how I work out the skin still isnt youthful any longer. I eat/drink healthy and I have still gotten cellulite now. Im still adjusting and some compliments from her would go so far. Believe me I know what my issues are but Id like for everyone else to pretend theyre not there or Im just being OCD.
Quite curious how a lot of these comments are along the lines of "women, change how you communicate, so that we don't have to."
And if the post was 'women tell men things they don't know' it would probably be reversed..
Load More Replies... I feel like a hero when i fix something she asked me to.The more witnesses the better.
Women need to learn where the guys G Spot is.... and no its not what you think. This will take the guy to a whole new level. Ask your guy..... and if he doesnt know..... prostate ladies prostate.....
I like the aroma of your own body, not the perfume's or the deodorant's
Most men can't stand reality soaps (TOWIE, Geordie Shore, Made In Chelsea etc), and even more men think the cast are not worthy of the status of "celeb". And they're not. They're famous for what, exactly. On the flip side... Dangermouse and Bagpuss? Legends.
Wow @tjler sounds like you got run over by angry femdomme with pms and kicked to the curb for being too pussy and moany. Issues much?
We are NOT mind readers! You need something? Ask for it! Want to say something? SAY it! "Something wrong, hun?" Don't say no if it's the opposite! For me, No and nothing realy means NO and NOTHING.
Reading the responses from women to these, it's clear why so many men are starting to be happy being single. You're all showing your toxic femininity.
So good to know, though we're on a break ,really hoping that I could kiss him back
These are kinda funny and kinda sad, but true of most of the men I've known. Basically we're all just people and the same things.
a lot of these should be common sense--times have changed from the male of the 40s-50s that didn't share their feelings or cook or have more involvement in raising their kids. a lot of these can be said for males as well as females--like, stop hinting and just ask for what you want. Men are people too & need compliments & affirmations just like women do. Give me a man that's not afraid to open up & be himself around me ANY day!
No advise/comment/how girls should react on the famous " I'm naked , but your d**k is sleeping" or the "how come that you finished if I didn't even started ?". On a way that don't hurt men's
Everybody saying “its a ppl thing” just shut up. Having these men express their “secrets” are actually pretty awesome and having u s**t on it saying “ohh duhh me too!” is aggravating. This is about them FOR ONCE. Damn it🙄
This is a social media site where people are sharing their own experiences for solidarity's sake and to show men that "hey you're not alone in this, everyone does this" because it can make you feel alone and misunderstood if you feel like people can't understand where you come from. So I don't understand how it's s******g on it to say "me too" when this is a social media site where people are supposed to share their thoughts and experiences??
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Ga away you annoying f**k. People like you keep the problem going. It's not pitied and not gentle it's finding common ground. If you're so narrow minded you can't see that just go away
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"Women think and assume too much." → talking about assumptions....
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It's good to have open conversations about men's insecurities and issues too, and there always needs to be mutual open communication in a relationship, regardless of whether that's a male/female or male/male or female/female relationship because people are different and express themselves and their needs differently
It really is so important. Sadly, there are still a lot of people out there who mock this sort of thing, and it makes me so sad. We're all human beings, we all deserve the same right to express our feelings without fear.
Load More Replies... We are often ashamed of showing emotion because it's been used against us in the past. "He cries! lol. What a weakling." We go to the bathroom and cry, letting out emotion in solitude and come back with extra Machismo to mask it.
This makes me so mad/sad. I am middle-aged and even in my childhood it was considered normal for girls and boys to cry and show emotions. How can it be that a generation later men still have to deal with being allowed to act HUMAN? :(
Load More Replies... Also I think, I'm not sure, but I think most men want to be a hero, whether it's in a symbolic or a literal sense, we want the chance to be redeemable and respected. The chance to come to someones aid, to defend someones honor, to save the day - it sounds a bit wanky and can apply to women as well, but there's something to it I think
For years, I've wanted a flight attendant to come out and ask the passengers if anyone can land a plane. I would be there so fast!
Load More Replies... I was expecting more brutal truths. But glad to see the fraternity stayed strong! ;)
i would have LOVED to see some brutal truths--some of us actually learn from them
Load More Replies... I think one of the greatest "secret" I've learned about men is that they get anxious about starting a family as well. In my culture, there is this whole scheme they feed you, that you as a woman should procreate no-matter what, that you are worth only your reproductive capability, besides you have a shelf-life, etc. etc. I guess it just never occurred to me that men could possibly get worried about such a thing.
My husband never tells me he liked my food. I have to watch and when he takes seconds, it means he likes it. But if he just finishes his plate and doesn't take seconds, it doesn't mean that he didn't like it, it can also mean that he just isn't that hungry, that he ate too many cookies and ruined his apetite, or that he is in a hurry and will take seconds later in the evening, or that he was just thinking about going to the loo, or that he sees a blue elephant, or.......
I need whatever ingredient you used which made him see blue elephants.
Load More Replies... To be fairly honest, I'm a woman and can still relate to some of these, like the ones about zoning off and thinking about opening a brewery in the middle of nowhere and the story about the T-rex. Also, the two drops rule ending up on your pants is valid for both sexes. Not having toilet paper at hand(because someone else finished it and didn't put a new roll)sucks.
I loved this post. Sometimes you guys seem so sure and unassailable, that I feel superfluous. It's very very nice to hear sometimes that what's going on in your head is actually pretty similar. And that you also worry if we like you back and stuff. (And that it doesn't matter that I cut my hair) And just to share, I had an American boyfriend once and he was always raised with the idea that men and women were fundamentally different. We're not. We're all human first and are insecure and shy and trip and stuff. Only after that comes the gender thing. And even though I knew it, you still tend to overlook it. That's why it's nice to see posts like this from time to time. And trust us, we usually operate on the premise that you aren't attracted to us. Please let us know, only take care of where so if the girl turns out to be mean you have a buffer. Also most of us dislike the high maintenance b****y girls too, don't judge us all by their a*s backwards behaviour. Thanks!
It's very true. I was raised with 'men are from Mars, women are from Venus' where really it should be "The solar system is big and empty, all life is amazing'"
Load More Replies... I'm so fed up of this 'be obvious' bs. Your wives and girlfriends are not your carers, mothers or nurses. If you see something needs doing, do it. You do not need to be asked. Some men like to hide behind a wall of 'stupidity' in order to get out of things. 'You're better at it than me anyway' or 'I'd just do it wrong so you should do it' etc etc. You are not idiots, but have been conditioned by society to act this way.
I think I explained 500 times not to mix whites with colors when he does the laundry. His answer is always: then do it yourself. Gives him an excuse not to do it at all.... But then next time same thing happens...
Load More Replies... Aww. .... If you were here you'd get the biggest hug ever!
Load More Replies... Im older and I used to be fit, my hair used to be black,I had no wrinkles,etc. I know it happens to us all but no matter how I work out the skin still isnt youthful any longer. I eat/drink healthy and I have still gotten cellulite now. Im still adjusting and some compliments from her would go so far. Believe me I know what my issues are but Id like for everyone else to pretend theyre not there or Im just being OCD.
Quite curious how a lot of these comments are along the lines of "women, change how you communicate, so that we don't have to."
And if the post was 'women tell men things they don't know' it would probably be reversed..
Load More Replies... I feel like a hero when i fix something she asked me to.The more witnesses the better.
Women need to learn where the guys G Spot is.... and no its not what you think. This will take the guy to a whole new level. Ask your guy..... and if he doesnt know..... prostate ladies prostate.....
I like the aroma of your own body, not the perfume's or the deodorant's
Most men can't stand reality soaps (TOWIE, Geordie Shore, Made In Chelsea etc), and even more men think the cast are not worthy of the status of "celeb". And they're not. They're famous for what, exactly. On the flip side... Dangermouse and Bagpuss? Legends.
Wow @tjler sounds like you got run over by angry femdomme with pms and kicked to the curb for being too pussy and moany. Issues much?
We are NOT mind readers! You need something? Ask for it! Want to say something? SAY it! "Something wrong, hun?" Don't say no if it's the opposite! For me, No and nothing realy means NO and NOTHING.
Reading the responses from women to these, it's clear why so many men are starting to be happy being single. You're all showing your toxic femininity.
So good to know, though we're on a break ,really hoping that I could kiss him back
These are kinda funny and kinda sad, but true of most of the men I've known. Basically we're all just people and the same things.
a lot of these should be common sense--times have changed from the male of the 40s-50s that didn't share their feelings or cook or have more involvement in raising their kids. a lot of these can be said for males as well as females--like, stop hinting and just ask for what you want. Men are people too & need compliments & affirmations just like women do. Give me a man that's not afraid to open up & be himself around me ANY day!
No advise/comment/how girls should react on the famous " I'm naked , but your d**k is sleeping" or the "how come that you finished if I didn't even started ?". On a way that don't hurt men's
Everybody saying “its a ppl thing” just shut up. Having these men express their “secrets” are actually pretty awesome and having u s**t on it saying “ohh duhh me too!” is aggravating. This is about them FOR ONCE. Damn it🙄
This is a social media site where people are sharing their own experiences for solidarity's sake and to show men that "hey you're not alone in this, everyone does this" because it can make you feel alone and misunderstood if you feel like people can't understand where you come from. So I don't understand how it's s******g on it to say "me too" when this is a social media site where people are supposed to share their thoughts and experiences??
Load More Replies... Ga away you annoying f**k. People like you keep the problem going. It's not pitied and not gentle it's finding common ground. If you're so narrow minded you can't see that just go away
Load More Replies... "Women think and assume too much." → talking about assumptions....
Load More Replies... 