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Your wedding is meant to be one of the most important days in your life, and your vows are supposed to be the crowning jewel that makes the entire celebration of love shine. The problem is that writing vows is, well, incredibly difficult. Many people struggle to pen exactly how much they love their soulmate. But it’s through that struggle that you show your genuine feelings.
However, one groom had a different idea. He went viral all over the internet after he revealed how he used ChatGPT to write his vows. However, his bride instantly picked up on it and walked out. The distraught and confused man then turned to the internet for some advice, and people didn’t hold back.
Read on for the full story, in two parts. Meanwhile, Bored Panda has reached out to the author for comment, and we’ll update the article as soon as we hear back from him.
RELATED:
Your wedding vows are meant to be incredibly personal. After all, nobody knows why you love your soulmate better than you
Image credits: Alexander Mass / unsplash (not the actual photo)
One groom watched his entire relationship implode when the bride instantly figured out that he used ChatGPT to ‘write’ his vows
Image credits: JuiceFlair / envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: ThrowRA-Badvows
Using AI for something as sensitive as your wedding vows might make your partner feel like you don’t respect them enough to try your best
From your truly’s subjective perspective, using a chatbot to write anything emotional, sensitive, or impactful, especially your wedding vows, is a huge mistake.
No shade, but situations like this one are where you need to let your humanity and empathy shine through. And that means putting in the time, energy, sweat, and years to write (then edit, trash, rewrite, throw out, and yet again rewrite) your vows.
Writing is meant to be a struggle. It’s through this struggle that you understand your own feelings, actively think about your relationship with new and old ideas, and develop your worldview. It’s also how you connect with the world around you… and with your partner!
To put it bluntly, writing forces you to think. Meanwhile, when you outsource your creativity to a large language model (LLM), you’re allowing your mind to atrophy because you’re setting your critical thinking and emotions aside.
That’s on top of the fact that many people will feel disrespected when they realize you’re not putting in the effort to communicate with them. Why should they bother reading or listening to something that a person didn’t think was worth the effort to create themselves?
Using chatbot-generated text is incredibly impersonal because of how generic these tools are. And, to be clear, it’s most often very obvious when someone has outsourced their creativity to ChatGPT. You might not think it is, but it is.
And if we learned that anyone we knew was using a chatbot to write their wedding vows, we’d be seriously concerned. If they’re good friends of ours, we’d pull them aside before the Big Day and explain to them why it’s a mistake. Your vows, even if ‘imperfect,’ are still worth more when they’re written authentically by you.
Chatbots are absolutely awful for your critical thinking and learning skills
Image credits: Solen Feyissa / unsplash (not the actual photo)
As reported by Time magazine, based on recent research by MIT’s Media Lab, using LLMs can harm learning, development, and critical thinking abilities, especially in the case of younger users.
According to the study, where subjects were asked to write essays using ChatGPT, Google, or nothing at all, chatbot users had the lowest brain engagement. They “consistently underperformed at neural, linguistic, and behavioral levels.”
As the study went on, over the next several months, ChaGPT users got lazier and lazier, putting in less effort with each new essay. By the end of the study, they often just copied and pasted AI-generated text.
“From a psychiatric standpoint, I see that overreliance on these LLMs can have unintended psychological and cognitive consequences, especially for young people whose brains are still developing. These neural connections that help you in accessing information, the memory of facts, and the ability to be resilient: all that is going to weaken,” psychiatrist Dr. Zishan Khan told Time.
To be clear, it’s natural to get writer’s block when you’re writing something incredibly impactful. You want to leave a positive impression on your significant other, your family, your friends, and all the people you love. And nobody wants to make a fool of themselves in front of crowd of people whose respect they want.
Your vows should focus on your unique understanding of your soulmate, but they don’t have to be ‘perfect’
Image credits: Sebastian Romero / unsplash (not the actual photo)
According to The Knot, you should try not to let the entire situation stress you out too much. You’re not supposed to summarize your entire relationship in your vows!
“The most essential vow is your commitment to the marriage, which is covered with your ‘I do.’ Your marriage will change so much over the years, and you can renew and even change them in the future. It’s not a concrete summary of your relationship; it’s the beginning of a promise that is alive and will grow as you do,” coach and officiant Maureen Cotton, from The Soulful Wedding, explained to The Knot.
You ought to make things very personal and go deeper than the officiant, your family, and friends will be able to when talking about your relationship.
“What is one thing that only you can say to your beloved? Answer that and you’ll have unique vows from the heart,” Cotton suggests.
What do you think, dear Pandas? What’s your take on the sensitive situation? Do you think the groom was wrong to use AI to write his vows, or do you think the bride overreacted? Would you ever write your wedding vows with ChatGPT? How do you think your partner would react to that? What’s the worst thing you’ve witnessed at someone’s Big Day? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
Most readers disagreed with the man. Here’s their perspective on the wedding drama
However, a handful of people actually had the groom’s back. Here’s their take
Image credits: StudioPeace / envato (not the actual photo)
Later, the man shared an update about how he tried to fix his relationship
Image credits: ThrowRA-Badvows
Here’s what internet users had to say after reading the follow-up to the saga
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What do you think ?
Beak Hookage 3 weeks ago
People I know seem to find it puzzling that I'm as rabidly anti-AI as I am. Well, it's not just because of the horrible ethical and environmental violations. It's because I'm autistic. All my life I've had to put up with people, including close family, treating me like I can't do things. In other words, infantilising me. Nothing sets me off harder than being treated like I'm too stupid and helpless to get things done, and now it's escalated to "oh why don't you just used ChaptGPT to write that for you!". I AM A 20 YEAR VETERAN PUBLISHED AUTHOR WITH MULTIPLE DEGREES. Why the everloving fucksticks would I EVER need a f*****g robot to write for me? So it goes without saying that seeing people voluntarily infantilise themselves like this to the point of thinking the most human emotions of all can be handed over to the machine makes me want to go on a k i l l i n g spree. This loser can go marry f*****g ChatGPT if he loves it that much.
Nikole 3 weeks ago
I'm also rabidly anti-AI. We're going to forget how to do things for ourselves. I used to do graphic design stuff on the side, but now people just tell chatgpt or whatever what they want made. Do people really need help writing a freaking email?? Or, in this case, words from the heart??? It's disgusting. And hardly environmentally friendly.
Load More Replies...
Jihana 3 weeks ago (edited)
1/2: I know I'll get downvoted into oblivion here but I honestly don't see what the big deal is. AI is a tool. If I love someone from a different culture and I use a dictionary/google/AI to learn what "I love you" is in their first language it doesn't mean my love isn't real because I didn't know the words. We don't even know HOW OP used AI. Maybe he told ChatGPT what he loves about her and what to include, and not just "write wedding vows". Maybe he knew he wasn't good with words and wanted the vows to be extra polished and not feel like a blubbering idiot. We just don't know. And what everyone seems to forget: the wedding is not the end goal, it's a party. The end goal is a marriage. She knew he loved her, and saw the million different things he did to show her his love over the years. The vows were one single moment that didn't invalidate the years before.
Space Invader 3 weeks ago
We know the wife spotted then and there that AI was used, so it wasn't subtle. (And using AI to translate texts often leads to horrible results; use at least one native from the other culture to proofread what you concocted)
Load More Replies...
Gebidozo 3 weeks ago
I’m rabidly anti-AI. And I agree that using AI to write vows was a moronic move. However, breaking up with someone over something like that can mean only one thing: it was only a trigger, the straw that broke the proverbial camel’s back. There were probably serious problems in that relationship that went much deeper than this AI thing.
Tabitha 3 weeks ago
Like numerous other times OP declined to put any real effort into things for her, or decided he knew better than she did what she actually wanted—-which of course, was what HE wanted instead. She rightfully decided that she wasn’t going to waste herself on a selfish oaf who only puts minimal effort into anything for her. I bet if it’s something for him, he puts more than enough effort into it, and is very precise in what he wants and how he likes it. He probably has a tantrum when it isn’t right.
Load More Replies... Beak Hookage 3 weeks ago
People I know seem to find it puzzling that I'm as rabidly anti-AI as I am. Well, it's not just because of the horrible ethical and environmental violations. It's because I'm autistic. All my life I've had to put up with people, including close family, treating me like I can't do things. In other words, infantilising me. Nothing sets me off harder than being treated like I'm too stupid and helpless to get things done, and now it's escalated to "oh why don't you just used ChaptGPT to write that for you!". I AM A 20 YEAR VETERAN PUBLISHED AUTHOR WITH MULTIPLE DEGREES. Why the everloving fucksticks would I EVER need a f*****g robot to write for me? So it goes without saying that seeing people voluntarily infantilise themselves like this to the point of thinking the most human emotions of all can be handed over to the machine makes me want to go on a k i l l i n g spree. This loser can go marry f*****g ChatGPT if he loves it that much.
Nikole 3 weeks ago
I'm also rabidly anti-AI. We're going to forget how to do things for ourselves. I used to do graphic design stuff on the side, but now people just tell chatgpt or whatever what they want made. Do people really need help writing a freaking email?? Or, in this case, words from the heart??? It's disgusting. And hardly environmentally friendly.
Load More Replies... Jihana 3 weeks ago (edited)
1/2: I know I'll get downvoted into oblivion here but I honestly don't see what the big deal is. AI is a tool. If I love someone from a different culture and I use a dictionary/google/AI to learn what "I love you" is in their first language it doesn't mean my love isn't real because I didn't know the words. We don't even know HOW OP used AI. Maybe he told ChatGPT what he loves about her and what to include, and not just "write wedding vows". Maybe he knew he wasn't good with words and wanted the vows to be extra polished and not feel like a blubbering idiot. We just don't know. And what everyone seems to forget: the wedding is not the end goal, it's a party. The end goal is a marriage. She knew he loved her, and saw the million different things he did to show her his love over the years. The vows were one single moment that didn't invalidate the years before.
Space Invader 3 weeks ago
We know the wife spotted then and there that AI was used, so it wasn't subtle. (And using AI to translate texts often leads to horrible results; use at least one native from the other culture to proofread what you concocted)
Load More Replies... Gebidozo 3 weeks ago
I’m rabidly anti-AI. And I agree that using AI to write vows was a moronic move. However, breaking up with someone over something like that can mean only one thing: it was only a trigger, the straw that broke the proverbial camel’s back. There were probably serious problems in that relationship that went much deeper than this AI thing.
Tabitha 3 weeks ago
Like numerous other times OP declined to put any real effort into things for her, or decided he knew better than she did what she actually wanted—-which of course, was what HE wanted instead. She rightfully decided that she wasn’t going to waste herself on a selfish oaf who only puts minimal effort into anything for her. I bet if it’s something for him, he puts more than enough effort into it, and is very precise in what he wants and how he likes it. He probably has a tantrum when it isn’t right.
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