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Groom Maliciously Complies With SIL’s Demand To Not Post Photos With Her In Them Online
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Groom Maliciously Complies With SIL’s Demand To Not Post Photos With Her In Them Online

Groom Maliciously Complies With SIL’s Demand To Not Post Photos With Her In Them OnlineFamily Is Picking Sides After Wedding Photo Fiasco That The Bride’s Sister StartedWoman Gets Cropped From Sister’s Wedding Photos, Makes A Scene“You Can’t Win”: Woman Furious After BIL Crops Her Out Of His Wedding PhotosWoman Hates How She Looks In Sister’s Wedding Pics, BIL’s Solution Angers Her Even MoreWoman Thinks She Looks Like A “Fat Pig” In Sister’s Wedding Photos, BIL Crops Her OutGroom Crops Out SIL From Wedding Pics After Her Sour And Rude BehaviorGuy Removes SIL From His Wedding Photos After She Complains About Looking FatMan Causes Family Drama By Posting Wedding Photos With SIL Cropped Out Of ThemWoman Fat-Shames Herself, Gets Cropped Out Of Sister’s Wedding Photos
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No one wants to be around an overly pessimistic person. Their negativity can bring the mood down and, in worst cases, ruin what should be a joyous, memorable moment. 

The author of this story had firsthand experience with his sister-in-law, who constantly complained about how she looked in his wedding photos. It came to a point where the woman threatened to put the couple on blast if they used her pictures on social media. 

The man obliged and cropped her out of the photos, causing family drama. He feels he didn’t do anything wrong, but he nonetheless asked the AITA subreddit for confirmation.  

A man cropped his sister-in-law out of his wedding photos because she constantly complained about how she looked

Image credits: puhimec (not the actual photo)

AITA for cropping my SIL out of my wedding photos after she said she looked fat?

“My wife (27F) and I (28M) recently got married and it was amazing. The wedding was set on a riverside farm and so we had photoshoots outside on the fields before the ceremony. We started taking photos around noon and my sister-in-law (30F) was one of the bridesmaids.

SIL has always been a negative person since I met her, always trying to make small judgmental comments, while my wife is an incredibly kind person. They have very different personalities, so I never questioned why they aren’t close and assumed that SIL was included in her group of bridesmaids to appease my wife’s parents.

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Because SIL and my wife have never been very close, she was at the end of the line of bridesmaids and usually was at the edges of group photos. While taking the photos, SIL was the only person complaining about things like the sunny weather and how her dress was ‘absorbing heat.’ I don’t know much about dresses but it was about 70°F (21°C). Most people in the photoshoot group ignored her comments and it wasn’t an issue for the rest of the day.

We got the photos of both the shoot and the ceremony from the photographer 3 weeks after the wedding. We promptly sent the photos to the people in photoshoot and told them we planned on using the photos on social media. Most people thanked us for the photos but my SIL called my wife and was very angry, yelling that she ‘looked like a fat pig’ in every photo she was in and demanded that we not use any of the photos with her in them.

For context, SIL is bigger than my wife but not to an extreme extent. She doesn’t look unhealthy and I’ve never heard her have body issues before but I admittedly wouldn’t know much about it. In the wedding photos, she really doesn’t look any different from her normal self.”

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Image credits: seleznev_photos (not the actual photo)

“My wife tried to reason with her, saying she looks just as pretty as everyone else but SIL did not want to hear it. She reiterated that if we used any photo of her on social media that she would never speak to us again and would ‘put us on blast’ whatever that means. My wife was really hurt by her sister’s outburst and I was very bothered that she thought she could tell us what to do with our special moment.

Here’s where I may be the a**hole: I decided that if she had such a problem, she didn’t need to be in the photos. I cropped her out and posted those versions to social media. I thought it would be fine and it was easy since she was at the edge anyway. After posting, she then called me even angrier than before and accused me of trying to ‘erase her from the memory of the wedding.’

I told her I only did it to accommodate her wishes while also getting to use our own wedding photos. SIL hasn’t talked to us in a week, my wife’s parents are mad at us for upsetting SIL. While my wife is on my side, she thinks I could have been more mature about it. I don’t think I did anything wrong and accommodated her already unreasonable request. So, am I the a**hole?”

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credits: Cold_Natural_3955

Certain people may be predisposed to having a pessimistic mindset

The author briefly gave insight into his sister-in-law’s personality, saying she’s always been negative. While he didn’t provide specifics, there’s a chance that the woman may have unfortunately been conditioned to be a Negative Nancy. 

In an article for the Innovative Psychological Consultants, psychologist Dr. Chris Anderson attributed pessimism to possible genetic ties. Family upbringing and role modeling may also play a role, especially if the person has been around a negative environment for a lengthy period. 

In some cases, traumatic life events may cause a person to embody a glass-half-empty and potentially toxic worldview, which makes them difficult to deal with.  

While some research shows the benefits of a pessimistic mindset, like better risk avoidance, its impact on individuals and those around them is more burdensome. 

According to author and mental health educator Dr. Elizabeth Scott, too much negative thinking may lead to mental disorders like anxiety and depression, along with reduced ability to handle stress. There may be physical ramifications, as well. 

“A negative outlook is associated with a number of other heightened health risks, such as heart disease and overall mortality,” Dr. Scott wrote in an article for Very Well Mind

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Image credits: Engin Akyurt (not the actual photo)

Setting boundaries may be the best way to deal with a negative family member

An overly negative family member can be difficult to deal with, especially in the woman’s case, where it’s seemingly been a lifelong problem. Based on the author’s account, it doesn’t look like she’s changing for the better anytime soon. 

While trying to empathize would be an option, keeping your distance and setting boundaries could be the best course of action in this scenario. Avoid arguments that would only fan the flames. 

“Toxic people will try to draw you into an argument to distract you from the real issues,” psychotherapist Dr. Sharon Martin LCSW told WebMD

Among the toxic traits Dr. Martin mentioned are making unfair demands, acting entitled, and refusing to compromise, all of which the woman did during and after the wedding. Since setting boundaries may not affect the person much, it is more about your act of self-care. 

“Be sure to take good care of yourself physically and emotionally,” Dr. Martin said. 

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The author’s actions – although harsh – weren’t uncalled for. At that point, he’d been threatened to be “put on blast,” which could tarnish the memories of his special day. It was likely his best option in terms of damage control. 

What do you think? Is there anything the author could have done differently?

Image credits: Liza Summer (not the actual photo)

Many commenters sided with the groom

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However, some faulted him and his sister-in-law

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Miguel Ordoñez

Miguel Ordoñez

Writer, BoredPanda staff

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Struggling writer by day. Frustrated jazz drummer by night. Space Cowboy 24/7.

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Miguel Ordoñez

Miguel Ordoñez

Writer, BoredPanda staff

Struggling writer by day. Frustrated jazz drummer by night. Space Cowboy 24/7.

Justinas Keturka

Justinas Keturka

Author, BoredPanda staff

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I'm the Visual Editor at Bored Panda, responsible for ensuring that everything our audience sees is top-notch and well-researched. What I love most about my job? Discovering new things about the world and immersing myself in exceptional photography and art.

Read less »

Justinas Keturka

Justinas Keturka

Author, BoredPanda staff

I'm the Visual Editor at Bored Panda, responsible for ensuring that everything our audience sees is top-notch and well-researched. What I love most about my job? Discovering new things about the world and immersing myself in exceptional photography and art.

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olivia “ollie”
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She's lucky,if it being me, I would have stuck a fat cow in her place, now that's immature 🤪

Traveling Lady Railfan
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't think what OP did was "immature" at ALL! He did exactly what SIL demanded. -accepting a role as part of wedding party means you KNOW there will be more photos of you than if you were a guest -if you're paying for wedding photos and you're recently married, you KNOW wedding party photos WILL be shared or displayed -SIL didn't fall in the mud or anything (where she alone looked bad in photos), she was trying to gatekeep -she demanded that any photographic image of herself not be shown ANYWHERE or there would be consequences -Wedding photos were displayed with her not in them (then she freaks out from not being included) It's not like there was ONE photo she hated and asked that ONE not be shown, she said none are to be shown if she's visible SIL was trying to "erase" your day by demanding you never share your photos I was expecting (justified complaint) your photoshopping SIL in some way, or putting a big black bar over her (with her name on the censored part)

Lost Panda
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I may be wrong, but him saying his wife is on his side shows that his wife knew about it and agreed with it... so... he did run it by her... I see nothing wrong here

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olivia “ollie”
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She's lucky,if it being me, I would have stuck a fat cow in her place, now that's immature 🤪

Traveling Lady Railfan
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't think what OP did was "immature" at ALL! He did exactly what SIL demanded. -accepting a role as part of wedding party means you KNOW there will be more photos of you than if you were a guest -if you're paying for wedding photos and you're recently married, you KNOW wedding party photos WILL be shared or displayed -SIL didn't fall in the mud or anything (where she alone looked bad in photos), she was trying to gatekeep -she demanded that any photographic image of herself not be shown ANYWHERE or there would be consequences -Wedding photos were displayed with her not in them (then she freaks out from not being included) It's not like there was ONE photo she hated and asked that ONE not be shown, she said none are to be shown if she's visible SIL was trying to "erase" your day by demanding you never share your photos I was expecting (justified complaint) your photoshopping SIL in some way, or putting a big black bar over her (with her name on the censored part)

Lost Panda
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I may be wrong, but him saying his wife is on his side shows that his wife knew about it and agreed with it... so... he did run it by her... I see nothing wrong here

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