Going through pregnancy is an emotionally and physically challenging time. When carrying a new life inside of you causes sudden bouts of sickness, cravings and tears, it’s important to have a strong, helping hand to grip onto. And these men have stepped up to the role with everything they’ve got.
@penny4yourtweet on Twitter asked mothers to share the outstanding times that men helped them during and after their pregnancy, and Bored Panda has collected the best ones. From ensuring those specific cravings are satisfied, to going above and beyond to make women feel special about their bodies, here are the most heartwarming picks from the thread.
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Bored Panda spoke with Abigail Burd, a perinatal psychotherapist and the author of The Postpartum Depression Workbook. She works with both new mothers and their partners to help manage the transition of becoming parents. Her online course, ‘Relationships After Baby’, provides great information on how you can support your partner and keep your relationship strong during pregnancy, postpartum and whilst parenting.
Abigail told us about what she sees most in her line of work. She said, “The most common complication of childbirth is the negative effect on mental health. Before the pandemic, one in five women experienced postpartum depression and even more dealt with postpartum anxiety. These rates are even higher for women of color and LGBTQIA+ birthers, and are still elevated for all throughout the pandemic.”
The pandemic was especially challenging for new and soon-to-be mothers. Not only did they have to manage their health whilst looking after their children, but they also had the constant stress of avoiding the life-threatening COVID-19.
A study was completed by the University of Southern California on the impact of social distancing and lockdowns for expectant mothers. Taking place between April and July of 2020, this was the time that the first major wave hit the United States and the resulting restrictions started.
The study found that these women reported significantly higher levels of psychological stress, loneliness and other behavioural changes. From over 600 mothers answering a questionnaire used to help diagnose depression, 50% reported clinically significant symptoms of it. From this, 23% were considered mildly depressed, 17% were moderately, and 20% were severely depressed.
Whilst depression makes it harder to ask for help (and even realize that you need help), Abigail highlighted the fact that mothers can’t do everything on their own as it is, anyway.
“So many of us think that we are supposed to do everything,” she said. “Taking care of a baby is a full-time job. More than full-time. Think of a typical 8-hour work shift. We expect new parents to do three back-to-back shifts (because it's 24 hours per day) seven days per week. How is that sustainable?“
She shared her advice on how mothers can reassess their situation to make it more manageable with their partners or otherwise. She explained, “I recommend sitting down sometime when you are on the better side of rested and fed, and write a list of all that has to get done and all the people that you could ask to help.”
Abigail left us with her statement and advice for mothers and those supporting them: “I firmly believe a mother shouldn't do it all. But I also think there is simply too much for a couple to do alone, either. Yes, ask your partner, but look outside the relationship to who could be a part of your support village. This is the season of your life to ask for help and receive it. It is not sustainable or realistic to do it all.”
To carry any person up and down stairs every day for months is quite a task. What a loving husband. He probably is incredibly strong after all of that too, I have a hard time doing push ups, this guy carried a human around and up and down stairs for months.
As someone with Crohn's, I'm in awe of that man. Stress can set of a flare and I honestly don't know how he managed it. The pain of trying not to go, has left me doubled over in pain.
My father did something similar. We just got a new kid a month or so ago, and he just went above and beyond to help my mother with him(my new brother). Diaper changes, holding him when he's cranky, taking him as long as physically possible so my mom could get some rest, and even taking care of the 4 other kids who are below 10. It was really sweet.
Well, its not like the sleep they have now is gonna be saved up for the time the baby comes. I find it really nice that she wouldnt have to be alone awake if she needs him. He obviously want to be a part of what she's going through and she lets him.
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My son didn't sleep at night, and I would sit up cluster feeding him for hours and hours... Every night my husband would fix me a "yummy plate" of food I could eat with one hand- all sorts of delicious healthy things, and always some chocolate. He'd make my ginger tea, and out a couple of bottles of water next to my chair, and a grabby stick (the type with the pincer on the end) so I could reach things if they dropped. Considering his Dad died at this time, and he sat through a very traumatic birth, these small acts of love mean so much to me. Gosh I love that man so much.
These are the kind of men that mothers can have full faith in. The mothers can go out or have a nap, feeling comfortable that the men will take good care of their babies. While the actual pregnancy is 100% down to the mother, parenthood should be 50/50.
I was afraid of being in labor for endless hours. When the doctor said I was not progressing in dilating and my water had not broken, he said we could go for a walk as it may help progress things along. My husband said "Let's take the stairs" helping me with every step (3 flights) and took the elevator down. We were only gone for 30 minutes, but when we got back, the doctor said "Wow...did you go jogging? You're almost ready!" Sweet! After my son was born, my husband said "Cafeteria is closed. What would you like me to get you to eat." I forgot I hadn't eaten for 16 hours. I said Cheeseburger. He got it, pizza and a couple of bottles of Gatorade because he knew I was dehydrated. He sat with me until midnight eating and whispering until they brought another new mom in our room. Her husband couldn't be there so we shared our pizza with her.
After having a preemie (who did much better than I did; I had severe complications) my man (her daddy) was so loving and patient with me, I had to use a walker for a couple of weeks after I was finally released from the hospital, one evening (pretty sure it was Thanksgiving) we went to the NICU to see our baby I was making my way down the hall ever so slowly and had to stop and rest on a bench a couple of times but he stayed next to me and was just so loving and understanding.
During my labour for our first child I had been labouring for 44 hours and was utterly exhausted. I was told it was my last few minutes before they took me to theatre. My husband took my hand and I honestly felt like he’d given me his strength. I managed to deliver her without intervention, which I’d been very scared of. It sounds silly, but I know without him I couldn’t have done it.
My husband who had never even held a baby before we had one turned out to be a complete rockstar dad. What he didn't know how to do, he asked to learn from myself or read about it online. He'd do night feedings so I could rest, all of it. I'm so grateful to him.
Ladies this is what the father of your baby is meant to do. These men are not special. The patriarchy is just s**t. Is a man meant for get mad at you cuz you had morning sickness in the car? Women clean crap and make food every day around the world. I see a lot of "my dad" and "my brother" here.
Um, that's nice and all, but I don't think we need to be handing out cookies and awards to men who are being decent and loving to their partners who are carrying their child. It's the bare minimum you should expect, ladies. Let's normalize this type of behaviour, not cannonize it.
I disagree. Yes, let's normalise, but let's keep being grateful. Acts of kindness should be praised, not taken for granted. Regardless of whether it's husbands, parents, siblings, friends, colleagues, strangers.....
Load More Replies... My son didn't sleep at night, and I would sit up cluster feeding him for hours and hours... Every night my husband would fix me a "yummy plate" of food I could eat with one hand- all sorts of delicious healthy things, and always some chocolate. He'd make my ginger tea, and out a couple of bottles of water next to my chair, and a grabby stick (the type with the pincer on the end) so I could reach things if they dropped. Considering his Dad died at this time, and he sat through a very traumatic birth, these small acts of love mean so much to me. Gosh I love that man so much.
These are the kind of men that mothers can have full faith in. The mothers can go out or have a nap, feeling comfortable that the men will take good care of their babies. While the actual pregnancy is 100% down to the mother, parenthood should be 50/50.
I was afraid of being in labor for endless hours. When the doctor said I was not progressing in dilating and my water had not broken, he said we could go for a walk as it may help progress things along. My husband said "Let's take the stairs" helping me with every step (3 flights) and took the elevator down. We were only gone for 30 minutes, but when we got back, the doctor said "Wow...did you go jogging? You're almost ready!" Sweet! After my son was born, my husband said "Cafeteria is closed. What would you like me to get you to eat." I forgot I hadn't eaten for 16 hours. I said Cheeseburger. He got it, pizza and a couple of bottles of Gatorade because he knew I was dehydrated. He sat with me until midnight eating and whispering until they brought another new mom in our room. Her husband couldn't be there so we shared our pizza with her.
After having a preemie (who did much better than I did; I had severe complications) my man (her daddy) was so loving and patient with me, I had to use a walker for a couple of weeks after I was finally released from the hospital, one evening (pretty sure it was Thanksgiving) we went to the NICU to see our baby I was making my way down the hall ever so slowly and had to stop and rest on a bench a couple of times but he stayed next to me and was just so loving and understanding.
During my labour for our first child I had been labouring for 44 hours and was utterly exhausted. I was told it was my last few minutes before they took me to theatre. My husband took my hand and I honestly felt like he’d given me his strength. I managed to deliver her without intervention, which I’d been very scared of. It sounds silly, but I know without him I couldn’t have done it.
My husband who had never even held a baby before we had one turned out to be a complete rockstar dad. What he didn't know how to do, he asked to learn from myself or read about it online. He'd do night feedings so I could rest, all of it. I'm so grateful to him.
Ladies this is what the father of your baby is meant to do. These men are not special. The patriarchy is just s**t. Is a man meant for get mad at you cuz you had morning sickness in the car? Women clean crap and make food every day around the world. I see a lot of "my dad" and "my brother" here.
Um, that's nice and all, but I don't think we need to be handing out cookies and awards to men who are being decent and loving to their partners who are carrying their child. It's the bare minimum you should expect, ladies. Let's normalize this type of behaviour, not cannonize it.
I disagree. Yes, let's normalise, but let's keep being grateful. Acts of kindness should be praised, not taken for granted. Regardless of whether it's husbands, parents, siblings, friends, colleagues, strangers.....
Load More Replies...