Boyfriend Lists All The Disgusting Things His GF Does With Her Cat, Gets An Instant ‘Okay, Bye’
When you start dating, compatibility is key. We look at common things that join us, like hobbies we share and values we live by. Often, however, we forget to check on probably one of the most important things and it’s whether our love interest is as much into cats as we are. It may sound like not so big of a deal at first, but trust me, when time goes by and you start living together, this will likely become a test to your relationship.
This story posted on r/AITA by a 24-year-old woman and a parent to a cat named Crumb is one such example. Her boyfriend Kyle has started spending the night, but according to the author, he “never grew up with pets, so my cat has been an ‘adjustment’ to him.” So it was just a question of time until Kyle started complaining about Crumb and his “disgusting” behavior.
But the worst thing for the guy was his girlfriend kissing her cat. “Kyle says I am unhygienic because of this. He says Crumb is dirty and even letting him sleep in the bedroom is gross and gets fur everywhere,” the author wrote. As you can suspect, Kyle’s ultimatum was ready to go off at any time, and when it did, the woman had no doubt of what to choose.
One woman has recently shared how she chose her cat Crumb over her boyfriend who saw it as “unhygienic”
To find out what an expert had to say about this story, we spoke with Molly DeVoss, a certified feline training and behavior specialist who runs Cat Behavior Solutions agency.
It turns out, the feline behaviorist has lots of personal experience in this and she shared it with us. “I love it when my cat, Pico, chooses to sleep with me, but not everyone shares those same thoughts. I once dated a guy who kept the door to his bedroom closed, and when I inquired about it, he told me he never let his cats in his bed because, ‘if you walked in your poop, I wouldn’t want you sleeping in my bed either.’ He was worried about bacteria from excrement getting on his pillows and sheets,’” Molly recounted and added that she is glad that came out early in their relationship because she knew she could never live with that.
For anyone who’s wondering if it’s safe to kiss or sleep with your cat, Molly said that “while cats’ mouths and excrement are a source of bacteria, I have never known kissing and sleeping with your cat giving you toxoplasmosis, or any other bacterial infections.”
“Because having cats share my life is important to me, a couple of the questions I’d ask early in a first date (or if possible by text or phone before agreeing to a first date) were: Are you allergic to cats? How many cats have you lived with before? When I first met my husband, I asked him those questions and was delighted to hear that he’d parented cats before, and loved them. He has been the best cat daddy to our cats; I could not wish for more,” the feline behaviorist said.
Molly argues that it’s important that each person be able to choose how they live their life—and that includes sharing space with our four-legged family. “I have been called a ‘cat shrink’—but I’m certainly not a psychologist—it sounds to me like Kyle may have been setting the stage for controlling her life in other areas too. I think it’s important that we have common values with our spouses that include the responsibility of co-cat parenting,” she said about this story.
Many people supported the author of this post and said she was NTA
But others had another opinion and said they could understand where her boyfriend was coming from
What is with all these asshats who think kissing pets is disgusting? She will be much happier with the cat and without the man
I kiss my cat on the head all the time! I mean, I wouldn't eat something after she'd licked it or anything but kissing her cute little head? No way I'd stop doing that.
Load More Replies...
The last comment was totally meaningless. Why would she be obliged to build a full, deep relationship with anyone who she met like 2 months ago and he is already so judgmental towards her? What sacrifices, he is almost a stranger? Sacrifices are made in long term, loving relationships not with 2 month barely there relationship with someone who calls you "dirty" and unhygienic because you have a cat you love. People just love to judge someone.
Yeah that one really touched a few nerves for me, too. Like, do sacrifices have to be made for a relationship? Sure. But nobody gets to determine what my sacrifices should be except me.
Load More Replies...
Two months is still well into the "test drive" phase of dating. They're not compatible, it's as simple as that.
That problem was solved. Now she needs to stop worrying about the non-pet-owners in her circle.
Load More Replies...
NTA. He definitely is. This is not compromise, this is him demanding you become someone else. I've had my cat for almost a decade. My partner of three years is NOT a cat person. She finds some things I do to/with my cat gross, will NEVER even consider doing them herself - but respects that I do. She accepts the cat as part of our lives, but keeps her own relationship with him to a level that suits her, without trying to change the way I am with him. She also respects certain things can't be changed with a cat - like him sleeping in bed with us, spreading fur everywhere etc. This is compromise, done respectfully both ways. Lose that controlling AH.
I always had cats and have yet to tragically die from kissing them on the head 🙄
I kissed mine on the nose. Am writing this as a ghost now.
Load More Replies...
Taking the cat out of the conversation - any date that starts setting terms and conditions after two months of dating is concerning. I am a per lover, although I don't have pets in the bedroom/bathroom. That's my choice. It's also my choice to only date fellow pet lovers. (And to not date people with very young children - mine is an adult. I've no desire to re-live the toddler years in my mid 40's) What I am basically trying to say here is - in the early part of a relationship you figure out if this person is right for you, right now, without changing a thing. If not - that's fine. No hard feelings. But as soon as one person starts setting out terms, trying to make changes or giving ultimatums... You are not on track for a healthy relationship.
Some things are non negotiable like kitty owning the place. Every surface of that place has had a naked cat butt on it so why is he worried about a couple kisses and nuzzles?
You said.... naked cat butt. I now can't invision anything else than a bare naked butt, no furr on it or anything smudged on the surface of my night stand. Wtf. 🤣🙃
Load More Replies...
I hate that half of the OP's friends, who haven't grown up with pets, seem so heartless and ready to take Kyle's side. They need to learn some empathy. She should ditch them too! If anyone insisted I harm my pet, I would indeed "laugh in their face" too. That's not mean, that's a protection mechanism.
My animals ruined my relationship with a man that told me I needed to find a home for my BloodHound, turn my cat over to animal control and get my 25 yo African Gray a small cage. My AG's cage is 6'x4'. I said nope, nope and nope. About my ruined relationship, not even. My animals come first!!!
Animals are like children in the fact that they are use to schedules. If she all of sudden stop her nightly routine, the cat wouldn't understand and would be upset. I kiss my dog on the forehead every night and tell her good night before we go to sleep. She is so use to it that she lifts her head so I can kiss it. I agree that maybe she should date a cat man. I won't compromise with my dog. She'll be there until one of us goes 'home'. Partners, not so much.
i have 5 cats and a dog and kiss all over all of them! and so does hubby! quite used to sharing a spoon with them in fact. keep the litter clean, keep your pets clean, and they are just as dirty as people are. is it not ok to hug a friend? kiss your kids? same principle.
I've said it before and I will say it again: your pet deserves your love. If a SO is uncomfortable with the pet, they can either get over it or decide it's not worth it. However, trying to control the animal/insisting you give it up/even straight up abusing it, those are all red flags in my book, and you should run. Those behaviors will eventually shift to you. Pets are part of the family, and they'll love you unconditionally.
The toothbrush part is a little bit disgusting for me too but this story shows us that pets are not for everyone! And when you are a grown up you must know that for yourself already and not try to live with someone that has pets!! Whoever has pets sees them as family!! They are part of their family! They will sit on the couch, on the bed and yes they will kiss you goodnight (that part was so cute). The house will have hair and that's a small disadvantage considering the love you get back! If you can't handle it you don't own pets and you don't live with someone that does!! And you definitely don't demand to get rid of their FAMILY!!
Just take away the tootbrush :) weird to keep it in range of pets, if you do not do that, you are safe :)
Load More Replies...
I'm not sure this is a cat vs. boyfriend thing. In case he hates all animals....beware. This is probably no small matter.
BF would have lasted two seconds with me, I gave my rat, yes rat, belly kisses and kisses on his cute little head and face, he spent most of his time out of a cage with me in his blanket on the couch,, he was littler box trained and could come and go from his house as he saw fit, I wouldn't lock him up for anybody he was very well behaved...and he deserved his best life for rats it's to short
Now that would be unhygienic to have something so eew touch your bum.
Load More Replies...
Anyone who is saying the bf is NTA is an AH. So she kisses the cat on the head before bed?!?!? It's not like she is licking the cat. And you know what if she was and the cat didn't mind then fine let her live her life. I have a puppy who I have been with since the day she was born. I would be willing to make some concessions (like not having her in the bed) if I was dating someone who was allergic or something. But she is not an accessory... she is part of the family and I am not going to crate an animal who is not a danger to anyone because you are an AH. Now the toothbrush... I probably would get a new one but that's just me. However again it literally does not affect my life
Your ex boyfriend seems to have a certain obsession with hygiene. You were right to leave him, because you would never get along. Si he can find a pet-free girl to build his future with. Obviously, the idea of punishing or locking up Crumb, who looks like a fantastic cat, was simply madness. PS: I love my cats and my partner and I both happily kiss them! :)
Yes he sounded very controlling I'd be afraid he'd abuse my cat if he couldn't control me. Her cat saved her from a possibly abusive man. That's why companion animals are the best they save your life.
Load More Replies...
I love my cats and give them kisses all the time, so does my fiance. She loves them just as much as I do.. but if I was ever with someone who hated my cats or how I interacted with my cats? Yep. Bye. #CatsBeforeTwats
The cat lives there, he doesn't. Her house, her cat, her rules. Asking her to lock up the cat or kick it out when he's over? Pretty big red flag to me. I don't care what the people who thought it was 'gross' thought. Her house, her cat, her rules.
I'm baffled by people who are disgusted with pet owners kissing our pets.
the toothbrush thing is pretty gross, but who DOESNT kiss their pet??? and the cat was there first too.
I find it hard to understand people who gasp and clutch their children to them in terror when my small, amiable dogs bimble up to them. I think a home full of different animals is a great way for kids to learn about life, death, responsibility and love. I wouldn’t have bothered with a partner who didn’t share my views, because it’s that important to me. The anti Crumb bf was a mistake from the start IMO.
I think she just needs to find someone who loves animals as much as she does. What people don't understand is that our pets are our kids and we treat them as such. Kisses, hugs, petting and cuddles are the norm. If someone is going to get jealous over that then they can kick rocks!
You should always keep your toothbrush in a drawer because toilet particles spray, and I wouldn't let my cat near my toothbrush, but I also kiss her little head and would never date anyone who thought she was disgusting.
(Incidentally, toilet particle spray is why I always put the lid down before I flush.)
Load More Replies...
Crumb sounds f*****g adorable and Kyle needs to be yeeted out the door.
I couldn't even read the whole thing! Drop that loser and cuddle with your cat even more. The only thing is the tooth brush : keep it safe and buy Crum one for him. That's what we did with Kaiju sometimes he jump on the sink and chews on his while we'll brushing our teeth. Everybody's happy!
While I do think Kyle went overboard with the comments and seems insecure and jealous of a cat, I do have to agree that the toothbrush thing is a little too much for me too. I keep mine in a special box so not even the germs from the toilet can reach it when someone flushes the toilet with the lid up (I always put it down before flushing). But everyone is different, so you do you, if you like it that way, just don't expect for everyone to agree with you all the time.
a lot of people are totally antihigenics and full of covid, unless you plan to lick a pet, the pet are kind of ok since we do not share deseases.... and if you can handle the unigenic part by cleaning your hands and your floors, you can even adopt an incontinent dog and no one should say anything to you
My now husband made a comment about putting Cowboy my 15yo cat out and I told him he could go. He said he was only suggesting.
No, not the AH. You do you, if he don't like it, he can kick rocks. Get a boyfriend who likes pets too.
Idc who you are... you try to control me and tell.. no demand me to handle my animals differently to make you comfortable or try to control how much I'm allowed to love and spoil them and I'm not just going to kick you out but I'm going to punch you in the face. There isn't a person on this planet who I would choose over my animals. Not a single one. I wouldn't be alive if it wasn't for my animals, most of them wouldn't be alive if it wasn't for me.. they all came from horrible situations and although I didn't ask for any of them or "choose" any of them... they chose me and I wouldn't change a damn thing about it because they've made my life 10000% better. Kyle needs to go F**k himself. Also, his names Kyle... that should tell you everything you need to know. (Sorry to the nice Kyle's out there. I don't mean to diss you but every Kyle I know/have dated has been the biggest POS in the world) she's NTA.
yessssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
Load More Replies...
I kiss my cat on the lips all the time and I’m fine lol I’d definitely choose animals over most people any day
I kiss my critters all the time, not gross. People do much more disgusting things to each other in the name of "love"... perversion.
What kind of father would that guy make? Babies and kids are way dirtier than a cat.
Fk that guy. My husband said he wasn't a cat person. Guess who my little void into oblivion listens to? My big old teddy bear of a man.... buster is one of our kiddos. He will remain that way. If your partner can't except your pets and or human children (cause pets are our kids too) then fk em. Bye Felicia
My cat has the run of the house. I kiss him, let him nap on my pillows, etc. The only thing I can't do is have him out at night. Around 3:00 a.m. he will demand that I wake up by pawing my face. I have a large laundry room and that is where he spends his nights. It may sound mean but when I ask him ih he's ready for "night-night" he runs in and jumps in his bed.
maybe it sounds harsh because I'm generally not a kid person but an animal person and I know I get downvoted for it, but with the "this is disgusting"-logic I have to say, that for me it's also unhygienic to kiss your kid while it has a running nose, a dirty mouth, not washed his hands the whole day and having sticky, stinky fingers, or drinking from the same cup, your toddler lost his bread crumbs in. I guess a house cat who uses her tongue to clean herself, but is apart from that really clean by it's nature, is not more unhygienic than that.
I think she'd be happier with an "animal person" - pets are such a big part of our lives.
The problem here is when people start judging other people. I think keeping animals inside is disgusting. but it's not my place to say a word to someone else about what they do. If you have indoor pets, good for you. I 100% support your right to do so. The guy has no right to ask the woman to change her lifestyle for him. Either accept how she is or move on. That is life. He has NO RIGHT to tell her what to do in her own home.
So as far as this goes the only fault I found was that the girl didn't just say she will drop the head of her brush(higher end toothbrushes tend to be replaceable) into so isopropyl or Listerine. As far as the guy goes if these are health concerns he has then he should look elsewhere for a partner. If he feels he is so in danger health wise he should go see a vet and talk about toxoplasmosis. The thing is I grew up with hunting hounds. So the game we would eat would often punctured or in the cases of scrappier game mauled. After dressing the game we would cook and share it with the dogs. I had one who dropped a litter in on a jacket I left on the floor. Did I throw it out? No. I washed it and and made sure no stains, smells, or bits were left! Don't know why people act like oh noes it's been touched by ick gotta go buy a new one.
NTA except I hope she sterilized the toothbrush. Also, if she loves her cat 10,000 times more than her (ex?) boyfriend, that’s a sign, right? Is she going to feel the same way in all her relationships or is it just that she really wasn’t into that specific guy?
i have only had one cat in my life. it was a stray rescue when he was a tiny kitten found in the middle of a 4 lane highway. my ex was raised w/cats but i had never had cat and i had 3 big dogs at the time. also the little bugger bit and scratched me every time i tried to hold him. but, he stayed for 18 yrs, outliving the dogs was his best revenge. that being said, the bf needs to be rehomed asap. as for being unhygienic the only thing i don't like about cats is fact they use kitty box then walk on the counters. so, he was 'trained' to stay off them which means he eventually didn't do it when i was around but there was evidence that he did it anyway. cats are companions on their choice has they have no desire to be man's best friend - they don't want the responsibility.
It is not the smartest thing to kiss your pets on the head, because they can carry germs, but f*ck it, I do it anyway.
Both relationships are pretty new and still evolving (cat 3 months, BF 2 months). I suspect the BF would have come round given time if he hasn't lived with a cat before - I did!
Im pretty sure she said she found the cat at 3 months old- Not had him for 3 months
Load More Replies...
This seems really controlling. Sure, now its "just" about different preferences regarding her pet but i can see this going way worse in the future. It always starts off as one minor thing... and the fact that he wanted to have a say in HER life (and call her disgusting) after 2 months is a huge red flag.
I have a, kind of, washing ... uh, thing. A lot of things trigger the desire to wash my hands. They can feel physically dirty, without being actually smeared, ... anyway, the indoor cat at my home is the only animal not triggering the desire to wash my hands. I have no issue touching them, I just want to wash my hands afterwards. Like, each and every one of them, of any kind.
If he cant love your loved ones with you, he ain't worth your love <3 but also ya know kitties are the best thing ever
If they are not a pet lover they don't understand. Only date a pet lover or you will be miserable.
I do not kiss my animals but I do love them and any man that has said they are not a dog/cat person, tough, go away, not interested. You are seeking someone who you can happily spend the rest of your life with, if you disagree so early then you are wasting your time with him, you just are not suited.
Simply put, love me, love my critters. Or begone. Hubby wasn't even meeting my parents till I saw him with the cats and dogs!
My husband never really had cats, I always did. He didn't really have a bond with them, but then his own cat came along and now he's father to our human children and our cat child. Kitty chose him very loudly. The oldest cat child really is a mamma's boy, though.
Load More Replies...
Compromise is the basis for any relationship. BUT this erodes the very basis for this couple. In the times he has stayed with OP, has he had any infections, stomach upsets, etc? If not, then he is clearly in the wrong about a cat being "dirty." IMHO it is an insurmountable obstacle and OP is well rid of him.
2 months? Their future??? I often regret not having a r/s atb24 but I'm often relieved. Ridiculous.
It's all about being compatible and sharing the same interests, obviously you made the right choice who doesn't kiss their cat on the head it's the perfect little spot!
NAH. This is not a right/wrong scenario. There are just two people with incompatible lifestyles. End of the story.
This is just a difference of beliefs. No one has to be an asshole. Split cordially it's that simple. And. There's not only one way to own a pet. Example. I don't care if my cat jumps on the counters. My husband very much does. But we both adore and cuddle our cats. People need to stop rushing to be judgemental. It's okay to not want cat germs on your toothbrush or your partner's mouth. Just chose a different partner who matches what you want. Goodness gracious
Well, clearly she wasn't that into Kyle, or there might have been a convo about "How can I help you become more comfortable with Crumb?" and discussion of cat psychology and why punishments are not effective. It sounds like Kyle also has some cleanliness issues - possibly phobias. There are things you can do to compromise in this sort of situation - and that doesn't mean shutting poor Crumb in a crate. eg vacuuming and changing bedlinens on the day the BF sleeps over to reduce cat hair, GF washing her face after kissing Crumb and before kissing the BF, sanitising the electric toothbrush and putting on a new brush refill, and then keeping it in a drawer. So both of them are kind of assholes, or don't care enough about the relationship to communicate respectfully with each other and work together to find a compromise.
Nah, if you just start out, then this is just a sign of nope. And that's fine.
Load More Replies...
Neither are in the wrong here. They just have different standards and opinions. Breaking up and going their separate ways is the best out come. They can then find someone who is more similar.
Well, humans tend to be less hygienic than any other animal I've seen.
Load More Replies...
You said pets are NOT your kids then proceeded to say you wouldn't let your Kids do something like that... Pick a side bro
Load More Replies...
Eh? The cat probably thought it was a nice head scratcher and used it that way.
Load More Replies... What is with all these asshats who think kissing pets is disgusting? She will be much happier with the cat and without the man
I kiss my cat on the head all the time! I mean, I wouldn't eat something after she'd licked it or anything but kissing her cute little head? No way I'd stop doing that.
Load More Replies... The last comment was totally meaningless. Why would she be obliged to build a full, deep relationship with anyone who she met like 2 months ago and he is already so judgmental towards her? What sacrifices, he is almost a stranger? Sacrifices are made in long term, loving relationships not with 2 month barely there relationship with someone who calls you "dirty" and unhygienic because you have a cat you love. People just love to judge someone.
Yeah that one really touched a few nerves for me, too. Like, do sacrifices have to be made for a relationship? Sure. But nobody gets to determine what my sacrifices should be except me.
Load More Replies... Two months is still well into the "test drive" phase of dating. They're not compatible, it's as simple as that.
That problem was solved. Now she needs to stop worrying about the non-pet-owners in her circle.
Load More Replies... NTA. He definitely is. This is not compromise, this is him demanding you become someone else. I've had my cat for almost a decade. My partner of three years is NOT a cat person. She finds some things I do to/with my cat gross, will NEVER even consider doing them herself - but respects that I do. She accepts the cat as part of our lives, but keeps her own relationship with him to a level that suits her, without trying to change the way I am with him. She also respects certain things can't be changed with a cat - like him sleeping in bed with us, spreading fur everywhere etc. This is compromise, done respectfully both ways. Lose that controlling AH.
I always had cats and have yet to tragically die from kissing them on the head 🙄
I kissed mine on the nose. Am writing this as a ghost now.
Load More Replies... Taking the cat out of the conversation - any date that starts setting terms and conditions after two months of dating is concerning. I am a per lover, although I don't have pets in the bedroom/bathroom. That's my choice. It's also my choice to only date fellow pet lovers. (And to not date people with very young children - mine is an adult. I've no desire to re-live the toddler years in my mid 40's) What I am basically trying to say here is - in the early part of a relationship you figure out if this person is right for you, right now, without changing a thing. If not - that's fine. No hard feelings. But as soon as one person starts setting out terms, trying to make changes or giving ultimatums... You are not on track for a healthy relationship.
Some things are non negotiable like kitty owning the place. Every surface of that place has had a naked cat butt on it so why is he worried about a couple kisses and nuzzles?
You said.... naked cat butt. I now can't invision anything else than a bare naked butt, no furr on it or anything smudged on the surface of my night stand. Wtf. 🤣🙃
Load More Replies... I hate that half of the OP's friends, who haven't grown up with pets, seem so heartless and ready to take Kyle's side. They need to learn some empathy. She should ditch them too! If anyone insisted I harm my pet, I would indeed "laugh in their face" too. That's not mean, that's a protection mechanism.
My animals ruined my relationship with a man that told me I needed to find a home for my BloodHound, turn my cat over to animal control and get my 25 yo African Gray a small cage. My AG's cage is 6'x4'. I said nope, nope and nope. About my ruined relationship, not even. My animals come first!!!
Animals are like children in the fact that they are use to schedules. If she all of sudden stop her nightly routine, the cat wouldn't understand and would be upset. I kiss my dog on the forehead every night and tell her good night before we go to sleep. She is so use to it that she lifts her head so I can kiss it. I agree that maybe she should date a cat man. I won't compromise with my dog. She'll be there until one of us goes 'home'. Partners, not so much.
i have 5 cats and a dog and kiss all over all of them! and so does hubby! quite used to sharing a spoon with them in fact. keep the litter clean, keep your pets clean, and they are just as dirty as people are. is it not ok to hug a friend? kiss your kids? same principle.
I've said it before and I will say it again: your pet deserves your love. If a SO is uncomfortable with the pet, they can either get over it or decide it's not worth it. However, trying to control the animal/insisting you give it up/even straight up abusing it, those are all red flags in my book, and you should run. Those behaviors will eventually shift to you. Pets are part of the family, and they'll love you unconditionally.
The toothbrush part is a little bit disgusting for me too but this story shows us that pets are not for everyone! And when you are a grown up you must know that for yourself already and not try to live with someone that has pets!! Whoever has pets sees them as family!! They are part of their family! They will sit on the couch, on the bed and yes they will kiss you goodnight (that part was so cute). The house will have hair and that's a small disadvantage considering the love you get back! If you can't handle it you don't own pets and you don't live with someone that does!! And you definitely don't demand to get rid of their FAMILY!!
Just take away the tootbrush :) weird to keep it in range of pets, if you do not do that, you are safe :)
Load More Replies... I'm not sure this is a cat vs. boyfriend thing. In case he hates all animals....beware. This is probably no small matter.
BF would have lasted two seconds with me, I gave my rat, yes rat, belly kisses and kisses on his cute little head and face, he spent most of his time out of a cage with me in his blanket on the couch,, he was littler box trained and could come and go from his house as he saw fit, I wouldn't lock him up for anybody he was very well behaved...and he deserved his best life for rats it's to short
Now that would be unhygienic to have something so eew touch your bum.
Load More Replies... Anyone who is saying the bf is NTA is an AH. So she kisses the cat on the head before bed?!?!? It's not like she is licking the cat. And you know what if she was and the cat didn't mind then fine let her live her life. I have a puppy who I have been with since the day she was born. I would be willing to make some concessions (like not having her in the bed) if I was dating someone who was allergic or something. But she is not an accessory... she is part of the family and I am not going to crate an animal who is not a danger to anyone because you are an AH. Now the toothbrush... I probably would get a new one but that's just me. However again it literally does not affect my life
Your ex boyfriend seems to have a certain obsession with hygiene. You were right to leave him, because you would never get along. Si he can find a pet-free girl to build his future with. Obviously, the idea of punishing or locking up Crumb, who looks like a fantastic cat, was simply madness. PS: I love my cats and my partner and I both happily kiss them! :)
Yes he sounded very controlling I'd be afraid he'd abuse my cat if he couldn't control me. Her cat saved her from a possibly abusive man. That's why companion animals are the best they save your life.
Load More Replies... I love my cats and give them kisses all the time, so does my fiance. She loves them just as much as I do.. but if I was ever with someone who hated my cats or how I interacted with my cats? Yep. Bye. #CatsBeforeTwats
The cat lives there, he doesn't. Her house, her cat, her rules. Asking her to lock up the cat or kick it out when he's over? Pretty big red flag to me. I don't care what the people who thought it was 'gross' thought. Her house, her cat, her rules.
I'm baffled by people who are disgusted with pet owners kissing our pets.
the toothbrush thing is pretty gross, but who DOESNT kiss their pet??? and the cat was there first too.
I find it hard to understand people who gasp and clutch their children to them in terror when my small, amiable dogs bimble up to them. I think a home full of different animals is a great way for kids to learn about life, death, responsibility and love. I wouldn’t have bothered with a partner who didn’t share my views, because it’s that important to me. The anti Crumb bf was a mistake from the start IMO.
I think she just needs to find someone who loves animals as much as she does. What people don't understand is that our pets are our kids and we treat them as such. Kisses, hugs, petting and cuddles are the norm. If someone is going to get jealous over that then they can kick rocks!
You should always keep your toothbrush in a drawer because toilet particles spray, and I wouldn't let my cat near my toothbrush, but I also kiss her little head and would never date anyone who thought she was disgusting.
(Incidentally, toilet particle spray is why I always put the lid down before I flush.)
Load More Replies... Crumb sounds f*****g adorable and Kyle needs to be yeeted out the door.
I couldn't even read the whole thing! Drop that loser and cuddle with your cat even more. The only thing is the tooth brush : keep it safe and buy Crum one for him. That's what we did with Kaiju sometimes he jump on the sink and chews on his while we'll brushing our teeth. Everybody's happy!
While I do think Kyle went overboard with the comments and seems insecure and jealous of a cat, I do have to agree that the toothbrush thing is a little too much for me too. I keep mine in a special box so not even the germs from the toilet can reach it when someone flushes the toilet with the lid up (I always put it down before flushing). But everyone is different, so you do you, if you like it that way, just don't expect for everyone to agree with you all the time.
a lot of people are totally antihigenics and full of covid, unless you plan to lick a pet, the pet are kind of ok since we do not share deseases.... and if you can handle the unigenic part by cleaning your hands and your floors, you can even adopt an incontinent dog and no one should say anything to you
My now husband made a comment about putting Cowboy my 15yo cat out and I told him he could go. He said he was only suggesting.
No, not the AH. You do you, if he don't like it, he can kick rocks. Get a boyfriend who likes pets too.
Idc who you are... you try to control me and tell.. no demand me to handle my animals differently to make you comfortable or try to control how much I'm allowed to love and spoil them and I'm not just going to kick you out but I'm going to punch you in the face. There isn't a person on this planet who I would choose over my animals. Not a single one. I wouldn't be alive if it wasn't for my animals, most of them wouldn't be alive if it wasn't for me.. they all came from horrible situations and although I didn't ask for any of them or "choose" any of them... they chose me and I wouldn't change a damn thing about it because they've made my life 10000% better. Kyle needs to go F**k himself. Also, his names Kyle... that should tell you everything you need to know. (Sorry to the nice Kyle's out there. I don't mean to diss you but every Kyle I know/have dated has been the biggest POS in the world) she's NTA.
yessssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
Load More Replies... I kiss my cat on the lips all the time and I’m fine lol I’d definitely choose animals over most people any day
I kiss my critters all the time, not gross. People do much more disgusting things to each other in the name of "love"... perversion.
What kind of father would that guy make? Babies and kids are way dirtier than a cat.
Fk that guy. My husband said he wasn't a cat person. Guess who my little void into oblivion listens to? My big old teddy bear of a man.... buster is one of our kiddos. He will remain that way. If your partner can't except your pets and or human children (cause pets are our kids too) then fk em. Bye Felicia
My cat has the run of the house. I kiss him, let him nap on my pillows, etc. The only thing I can't do is have him out at night. Around 3:00 a.m. he will demand that I wake up by pawing my face. I have a large laundry room and that is where he spends his nights. It may sound mean but when I ask him ih he's ready for "night-night" he runs in and jumps in his bed.
maybe it sounds harsh because I'm generally not a kid person but an animal person and I know I get downvoted for it, but with the "this is disgusting"-logic I have to say, that for me it's also unhygienic to kiss your kid while it has a running nose, a dirty mouth, not washed his hands the whole day and having sticky, stinky fingers, or drinking from the same cup, your toddler lost his bread crumbs in. I guess a house cat who uses her tongue to clean herself, but is apart from that really clean by it's nature, is not more unhygienic than that.
I think she'd be happier with an "animal person" - pets are such a big part of our lives.
The problem here is when people start judging other people. I think keeping animals inside is disgusting. but it's not my place to say a word to someone else about what they do. If you have indoor pets, good for you. I 100% support your right to do so. The guy has no right to ask the woman to change her lifestyle for him. Either accept how she is or move on. That is life. He has NO RIGHT to tell her what to do in her own home.
So as far as this goes the only fault I found was that the girl didn't just say she will drop the head of her brush(higher end toothbrushes tend to be replaceable) into so isopropyl or Listerine. As far as the guy goes if these are health concerns he has then he should look elsewhere for a partner. If he feels he is so in danger health wise he should go see a vet and talk about toxoplasmosis. The thing is I grew up with hunting hounds. So the game we would eat would often punctured or in the cases of scrappier game mauled. After dressing the game we would cook and share it with the dogs. I had one who dropped a litter in on a jacket I left on the floor. Did I throw it out? No. I washed it and and made sure no stains, smells, or bits were left! Don't know why people act like oh noes it's been touched by ick gotta go buy a new one.
NTA except I hope she sterilized the toothbrush. Also, if she loves her cat 10,000 times more than her (ex?) boyfriend, that’s a sign, right? Is she going to feel the same way in all her relationships or is it just that she really wasn’t into that specific guy?
i have only had one cat in my life. it was a stray rescue when he was a tiny kitten found in the middle of a 4 lane highway. my ex was raised w/cats but i had never had cat and i had 3 big dogs at the time. also the little bugger bit and scratched me every time i tried to hold him. but, he stayed for 18 yrs, outliving the dogs was his best revenge. that being said, the bf needs to be rehomed asap. as for being unhygienic the only thing i don't like about cats is fact they use kitty box then walk on the counters. so, he was 'trained' to stay off them which means he eventually didn't do it when i was around but there was evidence that he did it anyway. cats are companions on their choice has they have no desire to be man's best friend - they don't want the responsibility.
It is not the smartest thing to kiss your pets on the head, because they can carry germs, but f*ck it, I do it anyway.
Both relationships are pretty new and still evolving (cat 3 months, BF 2 months). I suspect the BF would have come round given time if he hasn't lived with a cat before - I did!
Im pretty sure she said she found the cat at 3 months old- Not had him for 3 months
Load More Replies... This seems really controlling. Sure, now its "just" about different preferences regarding her pet but i can see this going way worse in the future. It always starts off as one minor thing... and the fact that he wanted to have a say in HER life (and call her disgusting) after 2 months is a huge red flag.
I have a, kind of, washing ... uh, thing. A lot of things trigger the desire to wash my hands. They can feel physically dirty, without being actually smeared, ... anyway, the indoor cat at my home is the only animal not triggering the desire to wash my hands. I have no issue touching them, I just want to wash my hands afterwards. Like, each and every one of them, of any kind.
If he cant love your loved ones with you, he ain't worth your love <3 but also ya know kitties are the best thing ever
If they are not a pet lover they don't understand. Only date a pet lover or you will be miserable.
I do not kiss my animals but I do love them and any man that has said they are not a dog/cat person, tough, go away, not interested. You are seeking someone who you can happily spend the rest of your life with, if you disagree so early then you are wasting your time with him, you just are not suited.
Simply put, love me, love my critters. Or begone. Hubby wasn't even meeting my parents till I saw him with the cats and dogs!
My husband never really had cats, I always did. He didn't really have a bond with them, but then his own cat came along and now he's father to our human children and our cat child. Kitty chose him very loudly. The oldest cat child really is a mamma's boy, though.
Load More Replies... Compromise is the basis for any relationship. BUT this erodes the very basis for this couple. In the times he has stayed with OP, has he had any infections, stomach upsets, etc? If not, then he is clearly in the wrong about a cat being "dirty." IMHO it is an insurmountable obstacle and OP is well rid of him.
2 months? Their future??? I often regret not having a r/s atb24 but I'm often relieved. Ridiculous.
It's all about being compatible and sharing the same interests, obviously you made the right choice who doesn't kiss their cat on the head it's the perfect little spot!
NAH. This is not a right/wrong scenario. There are just two people with incompatible lifestyles. End of the story.
This is just a difference of beliefs. No one has to be an asshole. Split cordially it's that simple. And. There's not only one way to own a pet. Example. I don't care if my cat jumps on the counters. My husband very much does. But we both adore and cuddle our cats. People need to stop rushing to be judgemental. It's okay to not want cat germs on your toothbrush or your partner's mouth. Just chose a different partner who matches what you want. Goodness gracious
Well, clearly she wasn't that into Kyle, or there might have been a convo about "How can I help you become more comfortable with Crumb?" and discussion of cat psychology and why punishments are not effective. It sounds like Kyle also has some cleanliness issues - possibly phobias. There are things you can do to compromise in this sort of situation - and that doesn't mean shutting poor Crumb in a crate. eg vacuuming and changing bedlinens on the day the BF sleeps over to reduce cat hair, GF washing her face after kissing Crumb and before kissing the BF, sanitising the electric toothbrush and putting on a new brush refill, and then keeping it in a drawer. So both of them are kind of assholes, or don't care enough about the relationship to communicate respectfully with each other and work together to find a compromise.
Nah, if you just start out, then this is just a sign of nope. And that's fine.
Load More Replies... Neither are in the wrong here. They just have different standards and opinions. Breaking up and going their separate ways is the best out come. They can then find someone who is more similar.
Well, humans tend to be less hygienic than any other animal I've seen.
Load More Replies... You said pets are NOT your kids then proceeded to say you wouldn't let your Kids do something like that... Pick a side bro
Load More Replies... Eh? The cat probably thought it was a nice head scratcher and used it that way.
Load More Replies...
121
153