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30 People Online Answer “What Are Some Of The ‘Guy Code’ And ‘Girl Code’ Unwritten Rules That You Always Follow?”
In social situations, we follow plenty of unwritten rules. However, it can be smart to look up other cultures' customs for tourists or just check in to what is expected of you as a friend or a guest in certain situations. Unwritten rules of how people look out for close friends or strangers of the same sex are popularly referred to as girl code and boy code. There is plenty of comedy that pokes fun at those that take same-sex loyalty to the extremes.
u/bakedbutnotburnt asked Reddit "what are some of the 'guy code' and 'girl code' unwritten rules that you always follow?" The question was upvoted 42.9k times. Bored Panda selected responses people tended to agree more with, take a look:
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If I offer someone a beer or other alcoholic beverage and they turn it down, I never push it. Sometimes I don't want to drink and I hate being pressured. Never pressure a drink on someone.
Yes! This is huge. I never understood why some people feel the need to push alcohol and/or drugs on others.
Answers about guy code seemed to focus on uplifting other men, helping a friend flirt or fight, how to treat women, friends' romantic partners, and who pays in what situation. However, the girl code was mostly focused on appearance, periods, including sharing menstrual products and when and how to tell someone about a leak, and safety, especially from men. Both addressed topics of cheating in a committed relationship. Some people responded universally for any sex.
As a guy that lifts weights and has brought some of his other male (and two female friends) into the fold - you never, EVER, slander another person's weight on any lift. If your friend is 250 pounds and only benches 135, but is trying his a** off - then you never make a sound other than howling intense encouragement at them.
The rule in my basement is - everything is heavy to SOMEBODY. As long as you're giving it your full-a**, then the number is irrelevant.
Brocode: If a girl passes out at a party, you're not allowed to touch her. Make sure one of her lady friends knows ASAP, preferable a relatively sober one.
If your friends help you move, you are expected to a) be packed already... And b) provide pizza and beer.
One person responded to the thread with "As a lady with autism, this has to be one of the most useful threads I have ever read. All these unwritten rules about how to treat others socially don't naturally occur to me. I feel like I have gained new powers! Thank you thank you thank you."
Girl code: if something is fixable within five minutes (make-up, something stuck in teeth, small things on appearance) you tell her and help her if needed, if it isn't fixable on the spot, you keep your mouth shut and ESPECIALLY don't point it out to others.
Yes!! One time I had a girl shout at me about a particularly bad breakout across the classroom, and the entire room went silent. Don't do this. It feels horrible- they're already aware of it
Female here.
If you see another girl crying in the bathroom of the bar/club/venue you're at, you ask what's wrong and try to help.
If you have a tampon or pad to spare and someone needs it, even if it's someone you hate, offer it to them.
If a girl looks distressed or uncomfortable with the guy who is hitting on her at the bar/club/venue you're at, she's now going to be a new member of your crew! This one is a little tricky, but it's usually pretty obvious when someone needs an out but can't manage it or is frozen or intimidated. If you see it happening, try to catch her eye because she'll be looking around. Once you make eye contact it's pretty easy to figure out if she needs an out, then swoop in and do the whole "Hey girl! Where the crap have you been, we're all waiting over at the table for you!" And then you hook your elbow through hers and walk her back to your table of friends.
If you see a KNOW that a friend's boyfriend/fiance/husband doing shady, skeezy sh**, you tell that friend right away.
Drunk girl at a club's restroom: "I'm gonna call my ex". Her friend and unknown girls in three stalls: "DON'T CALL YOUR EX!!"
Many autistic people use masking as a strategy to thrive and survive in social settings. According to Healthline, masking is mimicking behaviors of neurotypical people, like forcing eye contact, developing a repertoire of rehearsed responses to questions, ignoring sensory discomfort, and practicing body language.
Bros before ho*s, but not before wives. Sure it’s sucks when a buddy has to stay home for a weekend camping trip, but if his wife’s sick and they have a 3 month old, it’s probably best that he keeps his family’s interests above your own haha
In his home, you always call another man's dog a good boy
Should a bro die in a weight lifting related accident, a bro will add atleast 100 lbs to the bar before reporting the incident
Masking is often used when it is not clear that neurodiversity would be accepted, or clear that it won't. However, Healthline describes the practice as costly since multiple studies found heightened stress and depression in those who do it; there is also a risk of delay of autism identification. Instead, Healthline recommends accepting neurodivergent people as they are.
If someone offers to pay, you should ask them if they are sure. If they are, then it is rude to further reject what is supposed to be a kindness on their part.
"I got the bill."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah, don't worry about it."
"Thank you."
It depends. Some of my relatives are big misers. Getting money out of them is like winning the world cup.
The person who buys the shots, makes the toast
Too many times I've seen someone buy a round of shots, and someone else jumps in with a toast
If you want to make a toast, buy a round!
Dude if there’s like 8 open urinals DON’T TAKE THE ONE NEXT TO ME
MTV had a reality show called Guy Code. Their episodes ranged from "Manscaping, Sexting, Bottle Service and Camping." to "Friends with benefits, rejection, shopping and freshman year." Later it got a spin-off, Girl Code, with episodes like "Curing Boredom, Hobbies, Sexual Pressure." Singers, comedians like Pete Davidson, and other celebrities often appeared on the show.
I will wingman any man. I don't even have to know you. Hell, I'll wingman any woman too. If you are trying to make an impression on someone you think you'll hit it off with, call me. I love love and am always willing to help make it happen.
Guy Code -If your drunk bro is about to cheat on his girlfriend, you must follow through with one intervention. If he says he doesn't care, you did your part and are free from any responsibility.
If you see another girl in an uncomfortable situation, you try to get her out of there or at least let her know that you got her back. I've done it for everyone, from my sister, to my friends to my friends moms. One time at a school event, my best friend's mom somehow ended getting an unsolicited massage from another parent with boundary issues and I quickly made an excuse up that I needed help at the concession stand. No one is too old or too young to do this!
On the more lighthearted side, in my experience, when you hug another girl, you always try to slot the boobs by going slightly to the side so that you don't just mash your chests together and hurt someone.
Sometimes American comedy points out the obsessive rigidity some people follow guy and girl codes with. In the sitcom How I Met Your Mother, the character Barney, who has a well-paying job and flirting skills that land him plenty of one-night stands, making him a stereotype of a man who other men want to be, keeps referring to the rules of the Bro Code. Later the Bro Code book was published inspired by the show.
Be generous with your closest friends.
Buy them an occasional beer or their favorite soft drink without "keeping score" of whose turn it is to pay.
You can make fun of your own kid all you want with your buddies if he isnt around, but you NEVER make fun of your bros kid, no matter what.
I think this goes very generally for all family members. I can say my kid is a brat, you can't. I can say my mom is a maniac, you can't. For the same reason, if my friends says her husband is an asshole, I don't agree very enthusiastically, I tread very very carefully.
What are some of the unwritten girl code or guy code rules you follow? Does it make sense that they are different for women and men? Which ones do you agree with?
I only had one chance to exercise this girl code rule, but once i was passing a girl in the lobby of a building and she told me that she had just gotten a straight perm and was waiting for the rain to pass before she went outside so I let her share my umbrella for 4-5 blocks while we walked to a bus stop together.
I would do that for any woman if it happened again.
(perms are $200+, can take up to 3 hours and are ruined if you get them wet within 48 hours of having the procedure done)
When your best friends dies, you have to delete his internet history. Common courtesy.
when they die.......u enact that thing out that ur best friend wanted
My personal thing is that if I ask someone to come on a trip with me, no matter the distance or how much gas it'll take, I don't ask for gas money. I asked them to come on the trip with me, their company is payment enough. I don't like when people ask me for gas money when they insisted or asked me f I wanted to come along for something. I come on this trip with them, for all I know they could just be using me for gas money.
Also, who pays for who on a date I believe should be totally contingent on who took the initiative to ask. If I ask Her out, I will offer to pay but I won't Insist, if she'd like to pay for herself.
by default, it must be 50-50.....but i one insists please don't insist back
If I chose the restaurant I always offer to pay - friend, mother, cousin, whatever. I have set the price because it is where *I* can afford to go. I do not assume they can.
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I don’t think there should be weird rules about paying for dates based on who asked, always offer to split. If one wants to treat the other, fine (but the other should at least offer to split).
It's not a "weird rule". It's common decency. If you ask someone out, you show up prepared to pay for both. If you are asked out, show up prepared to offer to pay your share
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Whoever does the initial asking on a date should have a plan (even if its not the one that ends up working, if it doesn't work for your date, discuss other oprtions) and be willing to pay for that plan. If your date decides to pay for both to be nice, or pays for themselves, then that's great but don't put any eggs in that basket
This one's tricky for me. I agree if you ask someone on trip you anyway need to make yourself it's correct. However I also drive long distances, talking about 1500 km in one day. But in such case i make sure to tell them if I expect to pitch in for gas or food unless it's company trip, then I have it paid and don't expect anything in return other than chat, and singing along to radio (and withstand my singing 😊).
I remember some shitbag my ex worked with. Pretty much roped him into picking him up and dropping him home. He lived in the other side of town. It started off as him waiting at a place to get collected. Eventually he was demanding to be picked up/dropped off at his door cos he couldn't be assed walking. Entitled little s**t never offered to pay petrol costs and if he couldn't be chauffered around that day he'd complain about having to pay for a bus. Tbh if that was me I would've driven out to the sticks, pushed him out and f****n left him there.
On every date, I've offered to split the bill, and some men act SO offended by that. I'm totally cool with paying; calm down.
I have a similar rule for shows. If I ask you to come with me, and there was no mutual buying of tickets...then it is on me. Buy me dinner if you like...but it was my decision to buy tickets to this show/concert. If we decide on buying tickets to something together...than we will work it out anyway we see as fair.
lol, people seriously ask for petrol money? Must be an American thing
In my dating profile I clearly state where I would like the first date dinner to be and that I will pay for myself, so no one feels any obligation. After that, I try to split it up, let him pay, me pay, etc., especially if we're close in salary. If he makes a ton more than me, I'll be picking up drinks and tips.
It depends on the trip but if you are actually a GOOD friend, it would just be understood to help out with the trip. I have been invited more than enough times on road trips as a younger man and I would always pay my way. If someone was adamant for me not to pay then I'm getting a lunch or snacks. They are putting the miles on their vehicle, you might as well be a friend about it.
Yes to this. My ex broke up with me b/c I didn't invite her to costa rica with me. I didn't have the money to pay for her trip and over 50% of the trip had already been booked by the time we were serious. Told her she can come, not excluded but that I cannot pay for her which is why I did not extend a formal invite on the trip.
I went on a date where we each payed. He asked me out so I thought he was going to buy, but I realize that is not always the case. Sexist assumption on my part. When I was covering my bill, with sufficient for a generous portion of the tip, the guy said "but you had TWO drinks and I only had one!" loudly. Fair enough, but very embarrassing. We did not go out again.
Um no. You never ask for gas money, but you always offer gas money. Without being asked. If they're driving, buy the snacks too. I'm never inviting you on a road trip.
It's one of those things were, especially if you were already going to that place, you don't ask for money, but it's a nice courtesy for the passenger to offer. It shows your courtesy is not taken for granted.
If the event looks to be getting (relatively) expensive, I'll offer to split it - ONCE.
I think offering would be okay. But I do understand it's super uncomfortable when someone asks for gas money when they've already agreed to pick you up or meet you somewhere, especially if you don't know them, like doing a Facebook Marketplace sales.
When guys fight, we never hit the groin.
It's against the Geneva Convention /s.
depends on the fight ig...what if they are trying to kill u?
Guy code: when greeting someone and you're not sure if they're a hugger, always shake their hand first... it allows them to throw up the other arm for a hug if they're down for it.
when a girl says "i won't tell anyone" what she really means is "i won't tell anyone except my best friend"
If I hear a girl say she needs a hair tie I will immediately hand one over, even if I’ll only have one left for myself.
lmao yeah......but just don't expect it to be returned back......good if it is.....but if it's not then not a big deal
Treat your friend's girl as if she's a guy
How about treat your friend's girl as if she is a person who deserves respect in her own right, not just because she is dating your friend?
If their bedroom door open, be careful to sound your approach before popping in. Never know what he's up to.
I hear this a lot in casual conversation: A: You know __? B: no? A: Wait, you don’t know __?!
My boss speaks English as a second language and he pointed out how common this type of interaction is & said it is off-putting. I really try to be mindful of it now!
Note: this post originally had 35 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.
The most common themes seem to be, Girl code: How to take care of others; Guy code: How to get girls
No not really some is common curtsey and privacy and another is respecting another’s girl or helping someone get a girl. I understand what ur coming from. But it’s not the majority.
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When I smoked, the code was that you always give a cigarette to someone who needs to bum one, but you never take someone's last cigarette. (And you are universally hated if you're one of those people who "don't smoke" or are "trying to quit" by not buying cigarettes and just bumming them off the people not lying to themselves.)
Yes! Someone needs cigarette, unless they're a minor, you hand one over no questions asked. Give them a light too, if they need it. A related pet peeves though: people who bum a smoke, then stand there, finish less than half of the cigarette, and then put it out in a way that destroys the rest of it. Those things cost money!
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Here's Girl Code: When my friend (when I was a teenager) expressed any interest in a guy, he was totally off limits until or unless she changed her mind.
Also for guys. If your buddy is into a girl, even if she starts flirting with you, you do not engage. (Damn you Thomas. I would have done that for you. You didn't even care about her. You just wanted to get laid.)
Load More Replies... The bro code: If I'm interested in dating your sister, I run it past you first
The Code: Those secrets you learned in grade school and "crossed your heart and hope to die" swore you'd never tell? I don't care how old you get, You take that sh*t to the grave
I grew up with one girl code I always thought was childish. You never date a friend's ex. As an adult, I agree. To an extent. If your friend was in a serious relationship with that person, don't go there. If it was minor, talk to them first. Other important codes? Never leave a friend at a party you invited them to unless they know someone else there as well as they know you. Never push someone to drink if they say no. People do this to me all the time and I don't drink. Haven't in 5 years and it's just a personal decision and doesn't mean I'm an alcoholic ffs. If you just suspect someone is cheating on your friend (or anyone really) then you better have a reason before telling them. Have a safe word/phrase with friends when you go out too. Creepy dudes abound where women hang out. Sometimes, telling someone that their emailed test results came back positive is all it takes. Embarrassing but easy.
this is a list for kids right? i mean, no sensible adult would take any of these seriously...what girls do, what boys do...perhaps people just need to expand their horizons a bit. you know, like hung out with other people that are not the same gender age and skin color than you maybe?
I treat everyone the same. Girls think I am flirting, guys think I am weird. Truth, I am some where in the middle. I Just like having friends. And I don't mind being nice to people.
Guy code: if a man is barbecuing all other men must be by the grill same as working on a car
They really were tho. It's like they collected a bunch of people, let them be raised by wolves, then gave them access to reddit
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My sister charged me $8 petrol to drive me to a city hospital to check if I had breast cancer.
The most common themes seem to be, Girl code: How to take care of others; Guy code: How to get girls
No not really some is common curtsey and privacy and another is respecting another’s girl or helping someone get a girl. I understand what ur coming from. But it’s not the majority.
Load More Replies... When I smoked, the code was that you always give a cigarette to someone who needs to bum one, but you never take someone's last cigarette. (And you are universally hated if you're one of those people who "don't smoke" or are "trying to quit" by not buying cigarettes and just bumming them off the people not lying to themselves.)
Yes! Someone needs cigarette, unless they're a minor, you hand one over no questions asked. Give them a light too, if they need it. A related pet peeves though: people who bum a smoke, then stand there, finish less than half of the cigarette, and then put it out in a way that destroys the rest of it. Those things cost money!
Load More Replies... Here's Girl Code: When my friend (when I was a teenager) expressed any interest in a guy, he was totally off limits until or unless she changed her mind.
Also for guys. If your buddy is into a girl, even if she starts flirting with you, you do not engage. (Damn you Thomas. I would have done that for you. You didn't even care about her. You just wanted to get laid.)
Load More Replies... The bro code: If I'm interested in dating your sister, I run it past you first
The Code: Those secrets you learned in grade school and "crossed your heart and hope to die" swore you'd never tell? I don't care how old you get, You take that sh*t to the grave
I grew up with one girl code I always thought was childish. You never date a friend's ex. As an adult, I agree. To an extent. If your friend was in a serious relationship with that person, don't go there. If it was minor, talk to them first. Other important codes? Never leave a friend at a party you invited them to unless they know someone else there as well as they know you. Never push someone to drink if they say no. People do this to me all the time and I don't drink. Haven't in 5 years and it's just a personal decision and doesn't mean I'm an alcoholic ffs. If you just suspect someone is cheating on your friend (or anyone really) then you better have a reason before telling them. Have a safe word/phrase with friends when you go out too. Creepy dudes abound where women hang out. Sometimes, telling someone that their emailed test results came back positive is all it takes. Embarrassing but easy.
this is a list for kids right? i mean, no sensible adult would take any of these seriously...what girls do, what boys do...perhaps people just need to expand their horizons a bit. you know, like hung out with other people that are not the same gender age and skin color than you maybe?
I treat everyone the same. Girls think I am flirting, guys think I am weird. Truth, I am some where in the middle. I Just like having friends. And I don't mind being nice to people.
Guy code: if a man is barbecuing all other men must be by the grill same as working on a car
They really were tho. It's like they collected a bunch of people, let them be raised by wolves, then gave them access to reddit
Load More Replies... My sister charged me $8 petrol to drive me to a city hospital to check if I had breast cancer.
