Woman Shows Up Unannounced Thinking That DIL’s Being Unfaithful To Her Son, Finds Out She Was Just Gaming
Overly intrusive parents have been a problem for their own children for all time. Just imagine how much happier Romeo and Juliet’s story would be without all their toxic family background! And there are actually lots of such sad and even sadder tales.
Many parents, unfortunately, consider it acceptable to intrude into the lives of their adult children, imposing their own rules of behavior on them, from the point of view of their own life experience. At the same time, they, alas, do not think that what was and is natural for themselves is far from being so granted in the modern world.
A similar conflict almost turned into family drama for the heroes of this post in the AITA Reddit community, which in just a few days has collected as many as 16.1K upvotes and more than 1.1K comments. As you can see, this topic was very close to many people, so they were extremely supportive of the Original Poster.
More info: Reddit
The Original Poster and her husband are real game addicts and spend most of their spare time gaming together
Image source: The IET (not the actual photo)
The Original Poster and her husband are big fans of video games, which is very common these days. As it turns out, their parents have not supported the children’s hobbies since childhood, so both the wife and the husband are used to coming up with various tricks so as not to tell relatives that they are playing.
Image source: True_Tap_5721
One day, the OP found out that she was pregnant
The OP and her husband work remotely and often play late after work. In general, as the OP herself says, they spend almost 95% of their time together, so even if one of them wanted to cheat on their spouse, they would not have the physical opportunity to do so. However, neither OP nor her husband have ever experienced such a desire. Especially since the OP found out recently that she was pregnant.
Image source: True_Tap_5721
The couple used to hide their hobby from their relatives as they didn’t want to be subjected to their judgement
So that relatives would not annoy them and impose their point of view, the couple decided that Sunday in their family would be “an inaccessible day.” They tell their parents that they go to meetings and arrange dates for themselves, while they usually sit down and play. On one of those Sundays, this very story happened…
Image source: True_Tap_5721
The MIL visited the OP’s house at the moment she was playing her next match
The OP’s husband decided to go to a gaming cafe with friends, and his wife, being pregnant, decided to stay at home and sat down to play in the morning. And on that very day, the mother-in-law decided to visit them. She called her son, but he told her out of habit that he was hanging out in a bar with friends. Then the woman went to their house – just in the midst of the OP’s next match.
Image source: True_Tap_5721
When the OP finally opened the door, she faced accusations of cheating on her husband
The MIL was knocking and ringing the doorbell – and the OP was very addicted to the game, so she decided not to open it until the match was over. After about 20 minutes, the match ended and the OP opened the door, lying that she was fast asleep and didn’t hear the knocks and the bells. In response, her MIL suddenly accused her of cheating on her husband, and stated that the child she was bearing was probably not from him.
Image source: True_Tap_5721
When the OP’s husband came home, they had to tell his mother that they just spend their time gaming together
The OP listened to these accusations and it was really funny to her – after all, the MIL did not know that she and her husband really spend almost all their time together. And that, respectively, inflamed the MIL more and more. When the husband returned, his mother immediately declared that his wife was cheating on him. Then the spouses had to tell her everything about their gaming addiction and explain that they are almost always together.
Image source: True_Tap_5721
Image source: Helena Cortés (not the actual photo)
However, the mother-in-law was still indignant – this time because she had been deceived for a long time, and that the OP allegedly pretended that she had an affair, never correcting her before she told other people. Nevertheless, according to the OP herself, her husband’s mother had no reason to interfere in their own business at all.
Most of the commenters agreed that the MIL had no rights to intrude on the OP’s life
The vast majority of people in the comments think the same way. According to them, MIL sounds toxic, and the fact that OP and her husband like to play is actually their own business, which has nothing to do with their parents. They are adults, and absolutely do not need other people’s opinions about their hobbies.
The only thing the commenters would like to recommend to the OP is not to devote all her free time to gaming during pregnancy, as this can really negatively affect the development of her child. But in general, all commenters are in complete agreement that the OP and her husband should decide for themselves how and what they are addicted to.
We believe that you also have something to say about this narrative, and perhaps you have experienced something similar yourself. Either way, please feel free to express your point of view or tell your own story in the comments.
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My first born at age 2 slammed her little fist on the desk and said "damn it" when she was sitting on dad's lap and he died in a COD match. I can play WoW one handed with either hand from breastfeeding the youngest while raiding. A couple hours of gaming after the kids are asleep is no different than settling in to watch TV, and it's harder to mindlessly eat with your hands occupied and more engaging to your brain. It was a social support network for me when the husband was on 12 hour night shifts and I was home alone with 2 small kids. Now they're in college and high school, and are gamers too. Weird how that happened. Daughter likes first person shooters, son likes simcraft. I look forward to gaming with the grandkids when we're all living in different places. Community is where you make it.
This! I was this kind of parent. Now I'm playing with my granddaughter
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Oh my god adults that are into gaming instead of drinking, hooking up, draining parents or living with parents. Are adult parents still so oblivious to the world we live in that they feel the need to dictate their old fashioned ideas on adult children. Gaming has been proven to be beneficial in many aspects of social life, and many professionals use gaming to stay on top of their skills such as pilots, surgeons, teachers etc. Technological advancements have increased our need to be integrated into this world and regardless of people saying "in our time we played outside" it isn't, we don't live in pass. And all those parents should think back and consider what was available for entertainment at their childhood and what is available now. Also consider that children born this year will be gaining employments in areas not active yet. Certainly my profession didn't exist, and to stay on top of my skills I use gaming (wasn't fan until 2020). It is beneficial to new generation growing. NTA!
I'm a 34 year old gamer and have been playing since the 90s! There's no problem with gaming as an adult! And for this I'd definitely say NTA! She needs to set major boundaries with the in laws. And people saying OP and her husband addicted to gaming? I'd have to disagree! It's not like it's affecting or interfering with their jobs or lives in a negative way. They're just big gamers. Maybe it's because I don't have kids but I don't understand why people were saying it'd affect her pregnancy to game? Am I missing something?
OP herself referred to her and her husband as gaming addicts. And if she sits in front of a computer all day, and doesn’t eat properly or holds in her bathroom needs because she’s in the middle of a match, or doesn’t get proper sleep because “just one more match”, then gaming WILL affect her pregnancy. I’m not saying she’s doing any of this, but as a 40-year-old who has been playing games (obsessively) since the age of 5-6 (we had an Atari…), I know exactly how damaging “too much” gaming can be. In my 20s, I was in a Battlefield 2 “army” where we would have skirmishes/battles and you were expected to be there for 8-10 hours, and you’d get rank-demoted if you left at any point. It was REALLY bad for my family/friend relationships and I’d go hours without eating or drinking (if I drank water I’d have to pee…) It really wasn’t good for me, physically, emotionally, or mentally. Pro gamers (like pro WoW raiders or pro League of Legends players) game a lot as a career, and even they have boundaries, scheduled breaks, etc.
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Their parents berated them for their hobby. Straight up yelled at them for it, I would lie too (actually just cut them out of my life) so I continue enjoying my hobby. Also people saying that after their baby is born what are they going to do? At first not play as often but eventually try to play with their child! I play video games with my step kids all the time, their mom doesn't understand that it's how we enjoy our time together but too bad! I would say I have the better relationship with the kids because guess what, we talk while we play!
50 yrs old, been gaming my whole life, husband is also a gamer. We're both computer programmers. Our kids, 28 and 17, are gamers as well. But all 4 of us enjoy slightly different genres and styles. It works for us.
She was still there and she already told other people?!?! Either this whole thing is a bald-faced lie or MIL is the world's quickest gossip. If it's true, NTA.
OP said she had left MIL knocking at the door for a while... Maybe she was contacting everyone from the porch? 😆 I hope the rest of that family has some common sense to just eyeroll if this was the case.
Load More Replies... MIL is a major league buttinski. The type of blatant disregard for an adult's boundaries and personal space that has been described is the bigger issue here.
So what that they play video games. It's better to be addicted to gaming then to drugs. Mil needs to respect boundaries and mind her own business.
When I was younger I watched my brothers and dad play games like borderlands and cod. I had no idea what was going on but I loved watching. I also watched one of my brothers playing Undertale and it was awesome. Gaming isn't necessarily bad for a family, as long as it's in balance and the kid isn't being neglected for it
Ha! 46 year old gamer here. I started on a Vic/Commodore 64 computer and now play console games. No kids with the hubby on purpose. That's how we buy our systems and games, lol. He bought an expensive console for our last anniversary and people at his work freaked out when he mentioned it until he said, "oh, no. No... she's a massive gamer, too!"
Dang! You have 6 years on me. XD But yeah, no kids here either (definitely by choice) though I do have two cats and a puppy, as I’m an animal person. But I game even more than my boyfriend does (we’ve been together 21 years and met at a game store when he came in to play Counter-Strike on our LAN computers)
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I have always had been a gamer since I was 10 playing Nintendo. I'm 42 now and I still play games(well "game" lol been playing the same game for over 4yrs now). I also have 2 kids ones 14 and my other is 19 both of them are gamers. They both play Roblox. Also their dad that lives in a different state is also a gamer but he plays COD on PS4 & plays ALOT more than I do on my game that I have been playing for years... Having a baby you won't be on as much nor will your SO. But when you play your games I would invest on buying a baby monitor for when your baby is napping & going to bed at night. Maybe have a weekly date night for you & SO can play together for a few hours while a trusting friend or family member watches your baby for weekly date night.Just don't ignore your baby cries if you are in the middle of a battle, DSS can actually get you for neglect on that(especially if toxic MIL decides to cause trouble & calls DSS on you) and NEVER play games while you are giving baby a bath!
NTA, and geez, all these people so "worried". I see you have more than enough time to tell other people how to spend theirs
I don't have children yet, but my partner and I do enjoy gaming. I spend a lot of time in my father's home ATM as my mother just passed and simply going online together for a couple of hours at nite let's us stay in contact and enjoy each other's company. Spending a lot of time with your SO just looks different to our generation and theirs. But if you and your SO are happy then they should be happy for you not try enforce their idea of 'normal' on an otherwise beautiful relationship. Be harsh. No more lies. Tell her to accept you or she's not welcome.
Props to the OP and her husband for finding someone that they can share their hobby without judgement.
If you think your MIL is intrusive now just wait until that baby is born. Good luck.
Gaming is date night when you're in a long distance relationship. My mother seems to think I need to find someone closer, it took me 10 years to even tell her about him mainly because they were starting to express concerns that i was going to end up alone because i never dated anyone that they knew about, not sure how many times i have to repeat that I'm happy and not interested in the local dating market...
Mil need some serious therapy!😖Why would you feel bad over a nosey meddling woman ? What you do in YOUR relationship is none of her business, & those mean things she said should show you the disrespect she has for you.Reminds me of a cat waiting to pounce on anything moving.Maybe she should be told about boundaries before baby is born, before she moves in to take over with that, too.
What's the difference between your gaming and what many parents used to do like play cards, charades, etc.? You're not living in their basement or asking them to pay your bills, so the parents have no business in YOUR business!!!
Is it just me or does it seem like the reason OP and Hubby lie about their gaming habits and allow her in-laws to visit frequently is because they are actually the ones paying for their place?? Hubby said that she couldn't possibly be cheating because they are ALWAYS together, do the work?? Maybe MIL is tired of supporting them and them spending money on gaming instead of taking care of themselves. IDK... Something doesn't add up IMO.
I don't know, when we both worked, my husband and I were with each other every second of the day once we got off. Like....... ALWAYS together. There wouldn't have been any time for cheating or hanging out with friends. We were our friends. That sounds weird but we weren't in our home towns and we didn't try to make friends with neighbors 🤷🏼♀️
Load More Replies... My first born at age 2 slammed her little fist on the desk and said "damn it" when she was sitting on dad's lap and he died in a COD match. I can play WoW one handed with either hand from breastfeeding the youngest while raiding. A couple hours of gaming after the kids are asleep is no different than settling in to watch TV, and it's harder to mindlessly eat with your hands occupied and more engaging to your brain. It was a social support network for me when the husband was on 12 hour night shifts and I was home alone with 2 small kids. Now they're in college and high school, and are gamers too. Weird how that happened. Daughter likes first person shooters, son likes simcraft. I look forward to gaming with the grandkids when we're all living in different places. Community is where you make it.
This! I was this kind of parent. Now I'm playing with my granddaughter
Load More Replies... Oh my god adults that are into gaming instead of drinking, hooking up, draining parents or living with parents. Are adult parents still so oblivious to the world we live in that they feel the need to dictate their old fashioned ideas on adult children. Gaming has been proven to be beneficial in many aspects of social life, and many professionals use gaming to stay on top of their skills such as pilots, surgeons, teachers etc. Technological advancements have increased our need to be integrated into this world and regardless of people saying "in our time we played outside" it isn't, we don't live in pass. And all those parents should think back and consider what was available for entertainment at their childhood and what is available now. Also consider that children born this year will be gaining employments in areas not active yet. Certainly my profession didn't exist, and to stay on top of my skills I use gaming (wasn't fan until 2020). It is beneficial to new generation growing. NTA!
I'm a 34 year old gamer and have been playing since the 90s! There's no problem with gaming as an adult! And for this I'd definitely say NTA! She needs to set major boundaries with the in laws. And people saying OP and her husband addicted to gaming? I'd have to disagree! It's not like it's affecting or interfering with their jobs or lives in a negative way. They're just big gamers. Maybe it's because I don't have kids but I don't understand why people were saying it'd affect her pregnancy to game? Am I missing something?
OP herself referred to her and her husband as gaming addicts. And if she sits in front of a computer all day, and doesn’t eat properly or holds in her bathroom needs because she’s in the middle of a match, or doesn’t get proper sleep because “just one more match”, then gaming WILL affect her pregnancy. I’m not saying she’s doing any of this, but as a 40-year-old who has been playing games (obsessively) since the age of 5-6 (we had an Atari…), I know exactly how damaging “too much” gaming can be. In my 20s, I was in a Battlefield 2 “army” where we would have skirmishes/battles and you were expected to be there for 8-10 hours, and you’d get rank-demoted if you left at any point. It was REALLY bad for my family/friend relationships and I’d go hours without eating or drinking (if I drank water I’d have to pee…) It really wasn’t good for me, physically, emotionally, or mentally. Pro gamers (like pro WoW raiders or pro League of Legends players) game a lot as a career, and even they have boundaries, scheduled breaks, etc.
Load More Replies... Their parents berated them for their hobby. Straight up yelled at them for it, I would lie too (actually just cut them out of my life) so I continue enjoying my hobby. Also people saying that after their baby is born what are they going to do? At first not play as often but eventually try to play with their child! I play video games with my step kids all the time, their mom doesn't understand that it's how we enjoy our time together but too bad! I would say I have the better relationship with the kids because guess what, we talk while we play!
50 yrs old, been gaming my whole life, husband is also a gamer. We're both computer programmers. Our kids, 28 and 17, are gamers as well. But all 4 of us enjoy slightly different genres and styles. It works for us.
She was still there and she already told other people?!?! Either this whole thing is a bald-faced lie or MIL is the world's quickest gossip. If it's true, NTA.
OP said she had left MIL knocking at the door for a while... Maybe she was contacting everyone from the porch? 😆 I hope the rest of that family has some common sense to just eyeroll if this was the case.
Load More Replies... MIL is a major league buttinski. The type of blatant disregard for an adult's boundaries and personal space that has been described is the bigger issue here.
So what that they play video games. It's better to be addicted to gaming then to drugs. Mil needs to respect boundaries and mind her own business.
When I was younger I watched my brothers and dad play games like borderlands and cod. I had no idea what was going on but I loved watching. I also watched one of my brothers playing Undertale and it was awesome. Gaming isn't necessarily bad for a family, as long as it's in balance and the kid isn't being neglected for it
Ha! 46 year old gamer here. I started on a Vic/Commodore 64 computer and now play console games. No kids with the hubby on purpose. That's how we buy our systems and games, lol. He bought an expensive console for our last anniversary and people at his work freaked out when he mentioned it until he said, "oh, no. No... she's a massive gamer, too!"
Dang! You have 6 years on me. XD But yeah, no kids here either (definitely by choice) though I do have two cats and a puppy, as I’m an animal person. But I game even more than my boyfriend does (we’ve been together 21 years and met at a game store when he came in to play Counter-Strike on our LAN computers)
Load More Replies... I have always had been a gamer since I was 10 playing Nintendo. I'm 42 now and I still play games(well "game" lol been playing the same game for over 4yrs now). I also have 2 kids ones 14 and my other is 19 both of them are gamers. They both play Roblox. Also their dad that lives in a different state is also a gamer but he plays COD on PS4 & plays ALOT more than I do on my game that I have been playing for years... Having a baby you won't be on as much nor will your SO. But when you play your games I would invest on buying a baby monitor for when your baby is napping & going to bed at night. Maybe have a weekly date night for you & SO can play together for a few hours while a trusting friend or family member watches your baby for weekly date night.Just don't ignore your baby cries if you are in the middle of a battle, DSS can actually get you for neglect on that(especially if toxic MIL decides to cause trouble & calls DSS on you) and NEVER play games while you are giving baby a bath!
NTA, and geez, all these people so "worried". I see you have more than enough time to tell other people how to spend theirs
I don't have children yet, but my partner and I do enjoy gaming. I spend a lot of time in my father's home ATM as my mother just passed and simply going online together for a couple of hours at nite let's us stay in contact and enjoy each other's company. Spending a lot of time with your SO just looks different to our generation and theirs. But if you and your SO are happy then they should be happy for you not try enforce their idea of 'normal' on an otherwise beautiful relationship. Be harsh. No more lies. Tell her to accept you or she's not welcome.
Props to the OP and her husband for finding someone that they can share their hobby without judgement.
If you think your MIL is intrusive now just wait until that baby is born. Good luck.
Gaming is date night when you're in a long distance relationship. My mother seems to think I need to find someone closer, it took me 10 years to even tell her about him mainly because they were starting to express concerns that i was going to end up alone because i never dated anyone that they knew about, not sure how many times i have to repeat that I'm happy and not interested in the local dating market...
Mil need some serious therapy!😖Why would you feel bad over a nosey meddling woman ? What you do in YOUR relationship is none of her business, & those mean things she said should show you the disrespect she has for you.Reminds me of a cat waiting to pounce on anything moving.Maybe she should be told about boundaries before baby is born, before she moves in to take over with that, too.
What's the difference between your gaming and what many parents used to do like play cards, charades, etc.? You're not living in their basement or asking them to pay your bills, so the parents have no business in YOUR business!!!
Is it just me or does it seem like the reason OP and Hubby lie about their gaming habits and allow her in-laws to visit frequently is because they are actually the ones paying for their place?? Hubby said that she couldn't possibly be cheating because they are ALWAYS together, do the work?? Maybe MIL is tired of supporting them and them spending money on gaming instead of taking care of themselves. IDK... Something doesn't add up IMO.
I don't know, when we both worked, my husband and I were with each other every second of the day once we got off. Like....... ALWAYS together. There wouldn't have been any time for cheating or hanging out with friends. We were our friends. That sounds weird but we weren't in our home towns and we didn't try to make friends with neighbors 🤷🏼♀️
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