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What do you think when you hear words like Miso, Emperor, or Kale? Well, I guess we’re all thinking the same. But what if I tell you this is how parents name their kids? And celebrities are notorious for that—just think of X Æ A-12, the baby of Elon Musk and Grimes, Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow’s daughter Apple, and Suri, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes’s daughter. And it gets even weirder than that.

So today, we’re diving into a notorious collection of the weirdest, most unfortunate, hilarious names people have heard. It will make us question the role names have in our lives, and make us wonder if they should maybe be taken a little more seriously.

After all, the world is already cruel enough, and if there’s a name tag “Ana L.” on a guest card, it may as well be given a chance to show its nasty side. So, hey parents, yes, we’re looking at you, please tell us, what on earth were you thinking on that day?

#1

To Briefly Return To A Previous Theme Of “Great Names”.if You Need A Vasectomy In The Austin Texas Area - Dr Dick Chopp Is Your Guy

To Briefly Return To A Previous Theme Of “Great Names”.if You Need A Vasectomy In The Austin Texas Area - Dr Dick Chopp Is Your Guy

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#2

Now That's A Great Name For A Neuroscientist

Now That's A Great Name For A Neuroscientist

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The name, whatever it’d be, is really up to parents to decide. I mean, it would all be so much scarier if the kids could name themselves at the age they’re smart enough to decide. But since people can’t walk around with numbers as if it was some twisted Squid Game-like scenario, they have to be called something.

But little do people who have never been in such a position know, naming babies is harder than one might think. The one at the top of your list could get an automatic veto from your partner. And deciding to share your choice with your friend may lead to strong opinions you weren’t expecting. And if after all the sleepless nights, you come up with a combination, you come to realize that the initials are the last thing you want for the kid.

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#6

Harry Baals For Mayor

Harry Baals For Mayor

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SykesDaMan
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There was a rapper in the 90's -part of the duo One and One- who named himself Harry Balz. And it was funny to me. But to have this as a real name is on another level! :)

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So how do you pick a name that will stand the test of time and the judgment of others? First off, you should get ready for the fact that the first name idea may not be the one. Ask yourself if this moniker will sound good, or rather, completely ridiculous in 10 years. Will other kids be able to shout that name out loud in a school yard? And will the child be condemned for explaining their name to every stranger they meet?

Avoiding passing trends when naming a kid is a great idea. Names to avoid include things like misspelled names (think Jakxsen and Rybekkah), random punctuation that serves no purpose (Prin’cess and D’Lilah), pop-culture references (Khaleesi and Katniss), word names with a strange spelling twist (Diezel and Spontaniouse), and out-there hipster names (Amadeus and McCoy).

#8

A Republican Candidates Unfortunate Name

A Republican Candidates Unfortunate Name

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WilvanderHeijden
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Rich White is very common in the GOP. It's quite amazing that a lot of poor white keep voting for them.

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#10

Perfect Name For A Lawyer

Perfect Name For A Lawyer

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#11

Omg

Omg

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AnnaBanana
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I certainly don't mean to be rude by asking this question (or racist or anything like that), but why to African Americans do this???

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#12

Honestly, I'm Not Surprised To See Someone With A Name Like This In Small Claims Court

Honestly, I'm Not Surprised To See Someone With A Name Like This In Small Claims Court

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#15

Rich Will Wanket

Rich Will Wanket

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#16

And The Award For The Worst Name Goes To

And The Award For The Worst Name Goes To

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#17

I Met This Guy Ar Burger King, A Asked If I Could Take A Picture. It Was His Real Name!

I Met This Guy Ar Burger King, A Asked If I Could Take A Picture. It Was His Real Name!

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#18

Sackrider

Sackrider

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Sarcastic Cow
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, that pink-black colour combo and a word ´sax´ doesn´t help.

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#19

Surely A Form Of Child Abuse?

Surely A Form Of Child Abuse?

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AzKhaleesi
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would've never gotten that had it not been explained. What in the actual fk also... the baby does not find this amusing.

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Francis
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

in Gernmany and Switzerland (and i guess other european countries) this wouldn't be allowed!

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ZAPanda
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

hmm when I saw this with the capital VIII, I got it immediately, BUT... here's the catch. Latin pronunciation (IE ROMAN) is not in fact "eight", it is "octo". So well done parents, you've named your child koctolyn.

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MyOpinionHasBeenServed
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She's going to have a hard time explaining her name and then explaining Roman numerals, just like I have to with the post office people when I need my money order for a business that has Roman numeral II. All I get from them is "I don't think we have Roman numerals on our keyboard. I'm not sure how to get the 2 lines." *facepalm*

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Marco Conti
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You could try to sell them Roman Numerals keyboards to solve their problem.

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Marco Hub-Dub
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It still sounds the same as the name she’s tired of hearing.

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Suzi Q
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You shouldn't name your kid something that has to be explained to everyone!

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Steve Barnett
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Parents need to think ahead. Saying your name isn’t a problem, as soon as you write it down or someone reads it, resume etc, they will ALWAYS get ‘Ooh, that’s interesting. How come you spell it like that? Cue tiresome explanation, again and again and again…

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Marco Conti
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So many words to convey a very simple message "We are idiots and we decided to ruin our daughter's life". There! Short and to the point. (I am impressed they know Roman Numerals. Too bad they think their daughter is a vanity license plate)

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SuperChicken
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Dear heavens, I thought it's pronounced as, kveelyn. Ay-yai-yai, poor child.🤦‍♀️

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Candy corn
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My sister is Caitlin, which is a pretty uncommon spelling of the name. You could have done that instead of this ridiculousness

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Huddo's sister
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was going to say, my sister is spelled the same and gets annoyed when people spell it wrong. Even when she says it's the Irish spelling etc. I personally think it is much nicer that way. I'm the only one who gets to call her Cait though.

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Tiny Dancer
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm a hippy-dippy pacifist, but I would love a chance to punch these insufferable parents right in the kissers! Selfish morons.

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VulcansAreSexy
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Now our daughter is truly unique!" So your daughter wasn't unique enough already??

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SCamp
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And the Gold Coast, Queensland is definitely THE place in Australia where this would happen

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Daniel Marsh
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

After such howls of protest, her parents decided against naming her sister, Vivian, and instead chose Sixsixan.

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Analyn Lahr
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Looking at it, I was not pronouncing it Kaitlyn till I read the explanation. I thought it was more like K-villyn.

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Hollysmom
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I just don't see the point. Although no one will ever get it, it does not change her name. Only increases her problems. All people are unique, regardless of their name. This is just ridiculous, selfish, and pretentious.

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Duncan
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Poor kid, I doubt anyone will read the roman number. I readis as 'K-villian

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Roxy Eastland
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We all know that nearly all the letters in these magazines were composed by the staff anyway, so I'm calling fake on that one.

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Paula Roberts
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

lol not unique at all you go to the playground and yell Kaitlyn all kids with that name will look round or come running, its simply a crap spelling the poor child will either pay to have changed when she's older or change her name completely, A suggestion to all parents out there wanting to do this to your kids do your name first give it a silly spelling that you have to explain to people every day

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Strawberry Hellcat
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Poor kid will absolutely hVIII her name until the moment she's old enough to change it.

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Zaza
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People who do this s**t need to be banned from reproducing

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Jaekry
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Keightlyn would be much more logical to me (and still different enough I think.)

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#20

That's An Even Better Name You Have There

That's An Even Better Name You Have There

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#21

Gay Saylor

Gay Saylor

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#22

Boss Last Name

Boss Last Name

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#23

Tokyo Sexwale, The Best Name In The Universe?

Tokyo Sexwale, The Best Name In The Universe?

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#24

Great Name For A Marijuana Researcher

Great Name For A Marijuana Researcher

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AzKhaleesi
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I work in a prison and we had a volunteer come and do AA classes for the inmates and I s**t you not his name was Hennessey. I laughed so hard and was like yea that dude isn't a trigger at all.

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#26

When You Think Criminal Names Aren't Obvious Enough

When You Think Criminal Names Aren't Obvious Enough

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#27

Dr. Grossweiner

Dr. Grossweiner

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#29

Judy Graham Swallows

Judy Graham Swallows

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#32

Tiny Kox

Tiny Kox

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Wang Zhuang
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I refused to believe his parents named him Tiny. He's using that as a nickname on purpose. He's gotta be.

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#33

New Post Go Ad-Free Saw A Guy Jerking It On TV

New Post Go Ad-Free Saw A Guy Jerking It On TV

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#34

I Have An Unfortunate Last Name. Sometimes I Get Targeted Advertisements, That Can Go Horribly Wrong

I Have An Unfortunate Last Name. Sometimes I Get Targeted Advertisements, That Can Go Horribly Wrong

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#36

I See Your Most Unfortunate High School Teacher Name, And Raise You A Most Unfortunate Elementary School Teacher Name

I See Your Most Unfortunate High School Teacher Name, And Raise You A Most Unfortunate Elementary School Teacher Name

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#37

Fagley Dork

Fagley Dork

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#39

Ok Suk Whang

Ok Suk Whang

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K R
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

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#40

Worst Name Ever

Worst Name Ever

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Alethia Nyx
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This to me isn't that bad, it's a perfectly normal Korean name that just happens to sound not quite right in English. It's not like the people who have knowingly given their child a ridiculous name.

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Note: this post originally had 72 images. It’s been shortened to the top 40 images based on user votes.

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