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Just like in 2015 and 2016, women have been posting a fair share of hilarious tweets since 2017. Bored Panda has collected some of the funniest ones, and they will crack you up no matter what gender you are or how bad a day you're having.

From optimizing their shopping trips to figuring out their parents, the minds behind these hilarious tweets certainly know how to blend humor with insightful comments. Scroll down to check out why you still need a Twitter account and upvote your favorite jokes!

#3

Funny Women Tweets

jackiecarbajal Report

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Kjorn
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

is this the snake from the 'Black' album from metallica? he's famous!!!

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#12

Funny Women Tweet

_lucyppp Report

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Johanna-Nicollette Kidd
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Im sure they have something wrong with those light, I feel human&then look in the mirrors when Im out,&I know Im a Martian! :((

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#13

Funny Women Tweets

ifthehoefits Report

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mulk
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, or buy a big dildo in a transparent bag and take a picture of your husband's face!

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#14

Funny Women Tweets

officialambrjoy Report

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mulk
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Or an older one, who scream at you in an old and forgotten language! (F'tagn, Shub'Niggurate...!)

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#15

Funny Women Tweets

alivingiano Report

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Stille20
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They even managed to work Phelps into discussions at the winter Olympics... though they spent a LOT of time on Lindsay Vonn... mostly trying to make her cry.

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#16

Funny Women Tweet

aardvarsk Report

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Daniel Mallory
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wonder if that happens to other people or if it it happens to her often

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#21

Funny Women Tweets

k3llytweets Report

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Jilltdcatlady
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My hubs was in the National Guard and his group would practice recon in the S.C. swamps with 100% accuracy. Ask him to get old blankets and drop them off at Goodwill and he doesn't know where the spare closet is!

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#30

Funny Women Tweets

otaaee Report

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#31

Funny Women Tweets

Iron_Spike Report

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Louiiiise
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Honestly I didn't think I'd see it in my lifetime. Please make it last!

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#36

Funny Women Tweet

girlontapas Report

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Jilltdcatlady
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Google Earth... Hey, Look, the neighbors got a new puppy... Experienced Introvert.

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#38

Funny Women Tweets

finah Report

#40

Funny Women Tweets

laurdiy Report

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Just Amiable
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

😂😨😂 Right above the dogs nose... His black marks are shaped like .. Nevermind, y'all will see it 😂

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#41

Funny Women Tweet

allmenaintshit Report

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Daria B
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There are men who will be so sensitive that they'll emotionally accuse a woman of being too emotional and unstable.

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#42

Funny Women Tweet

kellyblaus Report

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Steve
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He was willing to THROW AWAY PIZZA for you? He's a keeper, then. Or mentally unstable.

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#48

Funny Women Tweets

everywhereist Report

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Kate Yeti
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Seriously, how hard is it to keep your hands to yourself? That's, like, 90% of what they teach in kindergarten.

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#50

Funny Women Tweet

ShangHiiieee Report

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Neeraj Jha
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When she finds out abt it, her husband would actually be playing the game of Life and Death.

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#51

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morninggloria Report

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Dawn Baik
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

literally just laughed out loud by myself at work - people are going to think i'm nuts

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#59

Funny Women Tweet

JelianMercado Report

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Chenoa Schott
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They are so stingy with the samples that you get when you order online from Sephora. That is if you even recieve the samples lol

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#60

Funny Women Tweet

allisonkollins Report

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Jill Rhoads
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not to mention that piece of a*s can be positive while half-a*s is negative. Saw that on 9-gag today: https://9gag.com/gag/aPjBNmB

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#65

Funny Women Tweets

ziwe Report

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Lina
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sorry, but I have to ask. How do you know someone is emotionally unavailable? That's a serious question, I have no idea (if they don't tell me, of course).

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#66

Funny Women Tweets

maughammom Report

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J Perry
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In England they have a kind of cupcake that is called fairy cakes. Also a cute name for it a think😊

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#68

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sylvia__north Report

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#69

Funny Women Tweets

nwalks Report

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#70

Funny Women Tweets

Allison_Tolman Report

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Alib
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Basically men are learning a little bit of what's it like to be a woman. Next step: Let's be kind humans all together!

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#72

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dory Report

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Laury M.
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Don't cling to a mistake simply because you've spent a lot of time making it."

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#76

Funny Women Tweets

katewillett Report

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Blue Cicada
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Or a man who roots for you the same way he roots for a professional team of athletes he's never going to meet in person.

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#86

Funny Women Tweet

eiffeltyler Report

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Ashley Say Wha?!?
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wouldn't mind having a schedule like this, just take out the chain smoking.

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#89

Funny Women Tweets

annadrezen Report

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Master Markus
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was going to mention Mel Gibson, but he got a new movie out recently, so what the f**k? I'm shocked that Tom Cruise is still working even though we have ALWAYS known he was part of a crazy sci-fi cult. However, Woody Allen doesn't make movies anymore, so...

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#90

Funny Women Tweet

_ElizabethMay Report

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Rafaella Bueno
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is actually something we should probably talk more about. Those guys probably spent their entire lives so far from childhood seeing bad examples of how to treat women and that's how they learned to behave. They don't think they're being disrespectful, it's what's normal and natural to them. Just saying "be more respectful" then won't help... gotta be much more specific about what can and can't be done and why. Sure it seems utterly obvious for us, but I at least like to think that a good amount of those men aren't being d***s on purpose.... they just honestly can't understand why the things they're doing are so wrong. Don't women also often have a hard time understanding that some things we think are "just how things are" are actually forced on us from birth by society? I needed a bunch of things explained to me.... let's give the guys some patience too.

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#91

Funny Women Tweet

chescaleigh Report

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anarkzie
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not really, It would be like a friend of a serial killer saying "well he never killed me", same point just a better example.

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#93

Funny Women Tweets

jillboard Report

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Laury M.
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I remember one of my bosses telling me about an article she read that her 'feminist friend' had shared on Facebook. "I'm don't really consider myself a feminist," she explained, "but I realized that there were a lot of things in that article that happened to me too! In meetings, I will suggest something and it will be ignored, and a few minutes later, a man will say the same thing, and they will all say it's a great idea!"

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#94

Funny Women Tweet

diopter Report

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Master Markus
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My phone keeps trying to make "f**k" into "duck". I don't think I've ever texted about ducks.

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#99

Funny Women Tweet

alivingiano Report

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Molly Tallmadge
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Women:equal pay! The world: theres actually a bored panda article on pointlessly gendered products.

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#100

Funny Women Tweet

kbizzo30 Report

#105

Funny Women Tweets

hellolanemoore Report

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Jamey Rand
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

God this makes me more sad then I truly want to admit...mainly because it's so true

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#106

Funny Women Tweet

tarashoe Report

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Emily Hisel
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

my father once said that if you get six shots of espresso with your coffee, you can see into the future...

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#109

Funny Women Tweet

kenna_alitz Report

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Stille20
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He's not a big picture kind of man, is he... also why would you lie about hating chicken

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#111

Funny Women Tweets

gabydunn Report

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Cecily C
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wait so not every blanket is an anxiety blanket. Dang, I've spent so much money on random blankets.

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#112

Funny Women Tweets

KTHeaney Report

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Debbie Andersson
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No but really, people sitting on the machines at gym on their phones are one of the most infuriating things when you´re for once trying to get in shape, like b***h you´ve been sitting there for an hour doing nothing GET OFF.

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#114

Funny Women Tweets

gleivytrain Report

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Kimberly Banow
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If it's only $2, wouldn't you want to order 2 or more to make sure it's filling? :)

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#118

Funny Women Tweets

tinatbh Report

#119

Funny Women Tweets

Kendragarden Report

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Emily Hisel
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

it's on my Pandora, (which, by the way, started with modern electronic pop but now has none!) and its now with me forever...

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#121

Funny Women Tweets

kpfeffss Report

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Emily Hisel
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

i dont want anyone but my dog in my life. we look out for each other in a way that no other dog human relationship ever did, does or could.

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#122

Funny Women Tweets

adiiilaaa Report

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Yvonne Blau
Community Member
6 years ago

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so does this mean that your boyfriend is "rubbish", or you're a cleaning lady and have a relationship with your job...? more context?

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#123

Funny Women Tweets

adult_mom Report

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Cecily C
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ever bought a salad that was pre-packaged and somehow it tastes great, but even if you buy all the right ingredients and make it yourself somehow it's not filling and it's disgusting. Because My Life, I can't make salad

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#132

Funny Women Tweet

ohpolly Report

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Jamey Rand
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ok, I know this is a joke, but damn it people. Your time is not the only important thing.... Ugh, ok I just had to get that out....LOL I get the joke LMFAO

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#135

Funny Women Tweets

brokeymcpoverty Report

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Master Markus
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think the word you're looking for is "euphoric". I don't know. I get good feelings, but they're definitely not sex feelings.

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#136

Funny Women Tweets

1followernodad Report

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Laury M.
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And slightly move every single one of them to make sure none has been cracked underneath either

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#137

Funny Women Tweets

allmenaintshit Report

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Emily Hisel
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

this is my most freaking favorite EVER!!!!!!!!!! also, is it crazy that im looking at the likes and such at the bottom at the screen and comparing them??? this one needs more upvotes!

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#139

Funny Women Tweets

sapphicgeek Report

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Dawn Luttrell
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Now that is exactly the kind of epic break-up I should have had with my ex. Just a simple, "I'm done with you. F**k off."

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#143

Funny Women Tweet

AbbyHasIssues Report

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Nikki D
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My body needs to learn that if you don't have anything nice to say, shut up.

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#144

Funny Women Tweet

jessmisener Report

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Tamara Sager
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And the men in the house just use the trash can as a giant game of Jenga.

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#146

Funny Women Tweets

hellolanemoore Report

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Uriel Grey
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Lol totally me! I am happy introverted hermit but. Likes the idea of Friends

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#147

Funny Women Tweets

brokeymcpoverty Report

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Emily Hisel
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

when life hands you med kits, get ready for a boss fight. meaning, its always too good to be true...

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#148

Funny Women Tweet

aparnapkin Report

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Nikki D
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I absolutely love flying if I have a window seat. Anywhere else is complete torture.

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#150

Funny Women Tweets

BrotiGupta Report

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Emily Hisel
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

when they tell you it's absolutely crazy important, but leave your mind to run wild on the details. !!!O_o!!!

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#151

Funny Women Tweets

sashszn Report

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Christine Piette
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Awwww, I guess that's cute. And also means they don't spend every waking moment sharing it on social media. Lol

#152

Funny Women Tweets

farwzz Report

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Emily Hisel
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

one year less until you die... i dont go around bragging about it, but if a subtle opportunity comes up during conversation with anyone, ill take it. i get excited too!

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#153

Funny Women Tweet

collnsmith Report

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arjelio mas
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Poor Jesse. Sarcastic comedy has left him in its dust, never to be seen again, probably.

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#154

Funny Women Tweets

satinmilk Report

#157

Funny Women Tweets

millselle Report

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Femkje Stroop
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I guess because, just like my mom, your mom is unhappy in her life and tries to be in yours... she doesn't quite know how to be in it so tries to make you jealous, which only pisses you off even more... ? Close? Far off? Nailed it? 😅

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#160

Funny Women Tweet

_katehowe Report

#162

Funny Women Tweets

tressiemcphd Report

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Nikki D
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Has telling someone to calm down EVER worked, even once, in all of history?

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#164

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lobster_hands Report

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Jesse Saving
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When ur friend invites you to hang out but you realise too late their other half is there and you're just a third wheel

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#167

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AbbyHasIssues Report

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Anna Christina
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

or try my thing; carry around a backpack filled with plastic bags filled with plastig bags

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#171

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jillboard Report

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#173

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neonfiona Report

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Just Amiable
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm the chick who lined up for Szechuan sauce 😂 Long live Rick & Morty

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#179

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AshleyFetters Report

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#180

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AnitaHelmet Report

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nikkid avatar
Nikki D
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

At one point I had so many Amazon boxes thrown in my shed that when I opened the door there was an avalanche of boxes pouring out.

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#181

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SCbchbum Report

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Lisa Shaw
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had a MIL like this, she only brushed her teeth the day she going to see a dentist, which only happened every 10-12 years, she was in her early 50's and didn't know what dental floss or a douche were. She was floored when she walked in on me flossing my teeth, thought I had taken all the white thread out of her sewing basket!

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#183

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lizzie_scotford Report

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#187

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alyinas Report

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ArtistclyAutistic
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Saaaaameee or when you feel like it changed you but its literally the same face that you hate.

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#188

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quintabrunson Report

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Sharon Voorhees
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I pretended to be with my sil & g'son on their European tour and they truly thought I was going senile or had alzheimer's. Couldn't take a joke from an older person!

#191

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annetdonahue Report

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Emily Hisel
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

thats me literally me right now... its fricking 11:30, and i need to sleep, but i must finish!

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#193

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alyssalimp Report

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#195

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girlposts Report

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#196

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IssaRae Report

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Laury M.
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

50 Shades is badly written Twilight fanfiction. The worst part of that isn't that it's fanfiction, or that it was based off Twilight, it's that there is so many fanworks out there that would deserve fare more praise that 50SoG got.

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#197

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GraceSpelman Report

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#198

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aparnapkin Report

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Kip The Otter
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My dad used to say "They cost like fifty cents, they won't notice." *Slips pen in pocket* That is where 90% of our pens are from. The other 10% are the good pens we (the kids) aren't allowed to use because we will ruin them in 10 seconds flat and on total accident.

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#199

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aparnapkin Report

#207

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_natalieray Report

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#208

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notnice_Jenn Report

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Panic!AtTheYeemo
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

i started laughing in the middle if math and people think im on more drugs than usual

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#210

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sandyhonig Report

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Nikki D
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Honestly, I would have to get rid of most of my music if I considered who the artists were as people. Like, most groupies were underage.

#232

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Tomatoe
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am way beyond that :) I don't look before 19:30, and then I don't care any more anyway :)

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Emily Hisel
Community Member
6 years ago

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thats more and more often my mother...is she getting old???

#239

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Eliza Greenwood
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The movie and TV industries impossible beauty standards... She looks so young to regular people but her agent is saying she's old

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#240

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D.S. Watson
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What I hate is when my man shows me a funny meme as if I didn't show him that exact same meme two weeks ago like, so it's not just listening you have a problem with?

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#241

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Laury M.
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, we totally want to marry men who disregard what we directly, clearly say to them.

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#242

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Rose Blutige
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Stop cramming things into yourself that weren't meant to be in those particular orifaces O.o

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Nikki D
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

One time my neighbor caught me staring at his grilled pork chops so he offered me one. I ate it with my hands!

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#257

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Just Carmen
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is me and my girlfriend. But we usually end up talking another 2 hours before we finally hang up.

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#259

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floof lover
Community Member
6 years ago

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Why not just women? There are plenty of other groups that need more residentsrepresentation

#261

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Emily Hisel
Community Member
6 years ago

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har har... and what do you think happens there!? committed.

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Krishna Vishwas
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I like the way Abe is looking at trump.. it's like oh you special dumbfuck

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Diane Lloyd
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Thank you. I now have one of my favorite songs going around in my head. Loved it so much it used to be the wake up song on my alarm clock. Retired now...alarm clock donated.

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