When life gives you lemons, it helps to laugh about it and let’s just say that life has dealt some women a fair share of the yellow citrus fruits. With the everyday trials from gender pay gaps to sexual harassment, women everywhere fight to advance themselves with their perseverance and a great sense of humor. As the era of damsels in distress is long over, the ladies from this list have baked the best lemon pies, that no male comedian could ever top in a hilarious jokes bake-off.

Bored Panda has collected a list of witty and funny Tumblr posts from the funniest people also known as women, that so perfectly encapsulate the everyday nonsense we go through using our favorite medium - inappropriate jokes (yes, there are quite a few bra complaints and life hacks). Men, if you read these stories some of them may come as a surprise to you, but to answer your question, yes, this is the kind of stuff women think about/go through. Scroll down below for the complete list of the best jokes written by women and don't forget to upvote your favorites!

#1

Funny Women Tumblr Posts

siriuslymeg Report

Carrie de Luka
Community Member
2 years ago

Done this - it's fun.

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#2

Funny Women Tumblr Posts

angryschnauzer Report

Caroline Murphy
Community Member
2 years ago

I get paid the same amount as my male colleagues doing the same job. Am I just lucky?

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#3

Funny Women Tumblr Posts

serrie-smiles Report

London River
Community Member
2 years ago

OMG POCKETS!!!!!!! I NEED THOSE DAMN POCKETS

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#4

Funny Women Tumblr Posts

funnystories Report

Anna Lourie
Community Member
2 years ago

why isn't this one higher? great education for children :) they mostly repeat what their authorities say without even thinking about the issue. Someone said it's wrong, therefore it has to be wrong.

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#5

Funny Women Tumblr Posts

stileslydiamartinstilinski Report

stellermatt
Community Member
2 years ago

i don't even wear one but now I want one

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#6

Funny Women Tumblr Posts

dckpcs Report

Ola Polowczyk
Community Member
2 years ago

I hate the pads commercials. All the happy girls in FREAKIN' WHITE JEANS!!!! NO! I wear all black when I am on my period and still freak out that there will be a stain somewhere. And most of the time I want to curl in my bed and die basically.

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#7

Funny Women Tumblr Posts

ariaste Report

Elizabeth
Community Member
2 years ago

If men want to stop abortions they should stop having unprotected sex, women can orgasm over and over and over and there are no unwanted babies created. It's women's bodies at stake but it's men's pride causing the problem. If men had to deal with the consequences of unwanted births this debate wouldn't be one

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#8

Funny Women Tumblr Posts

misogynytears Report

Maybe a Kitsune
Community Member
2 years ago

Yesssss!!!

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#9

Funny Women Tumblr Posts

legisaskerator Report

Random Panda
Community Member
2 years ago

I laughed way too hard at this.

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#10

Funny Women Tumblr Posts

ellenhas-a-blog Report

Tarmin Slingerfinger
Community Member
2 years ago

Relatable for the men with long hair too :) Hate it when this happens. Usually I just bust out a new holder at that point

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#11

Funny Women Tumblr Posts

buginateacup Report

Person2638
Community Member
2 years ago

Yeah great threat, but I'd never be able to pull it off if I actually was on my period. I'd be sobbing in a puddle of blood shoving chocolate up my mouth and wishing I was a boy.

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#12

Funny Women Tumblr Posts

chriservans Report

stellermatt
Community Member
2 years ago

it is a test.

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#13

Funny Women Tumblr Posts

sylniabab Report

Alex Bailey
Community Member
2 years ago

Doesn't go away for your whole life, not just 18 years.

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#14

Funny Women Tumblr Posts

were-all-queer-here Report

Dilly Millandry
Community Member
2 years ago

What on earth is spackle?

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#15

Funny Women Tumblr Posts

jaimarie Report

Night Owl
Community Member
2 years ago

That's a great idea

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#16

Funny Women Tumblr Posts

standingcowrrdly Report

Cat
Community Member
2 years ago

I like the brother already lol

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#17

Funny Women Tumblr Posts

pocketcucco Report

Night Owl
Community Member
2 years ago

I really don't mind that people can tell I'm wearing underwear (if they can see where the outline is for example), it's better than if they think I have no underwear on. See-through clothing still sucks.

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#18

Funny Women Tumblr Posts

threefeline Report

Desiré Yen
Community Member
2 years ago

Organic milk bags😄

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#19

Funny Women Tumblr Posts

alphabitches Report

Nina S
Community Member
2 years ago

I mean I'd be happy I was marrying the love of my life but also pretty disappointed about not getting a cinnabon

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#20

Funny Women Tumblr Posts

ilovenerdyjokes Report

diane a
Community Member
2 years ago

Haha - reminds me of the time I called the shop to complain my 2 week old TV was not working - they promised to send a repairman out the very next morning. 10 mins later I sheepishly phoned them back to cancel --- we had a power cut.

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#21

Funny Women Tumblr Posts

loveandhappyfeminists Report

BusLady
Community Member
2 years ago

Please. I beg you. Come on BP and break all these trolls.

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#22

Funny Women Tumblr Posts

madlori Report

Ozacoter
Community Member
2 years ago

I love how for some people its 'cool' to eat more if you are a thin woman but you are a disgusting cow if you eat the same being a little bit chubby

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#23

Funny Women Tumblr Posts

feminismfunny Report

Erin
Community Member
2 years ago

If I'm a 'lady' and I am sitting, I AM sitting like a lady!

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#24

Funny Women Tumblr Posts

heart Report

Rose the Cook
Community Member
2 years ago

The tablecloth story reminds me of an old woman who used to insist that you should never serve a leg of lamb for dinner "because it gives men ideas." Some people are odd.

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#25

Funny Women Tumblr Posts

zilverdex Report

Erin
Community Member
2 years ago

I HATE THIS!! (not the post, but the fact that people do that)

Aldhissla VargTimmen
Community Member
2 years ago

casually say that you appear to be sterile and watch them shrink from shame

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CultOfBambi
Community Member
2 years ago

I love children - I just can't finish a whole one.

Miriam Vr
Community Member
2 years ago

A few weeks ago a taxi driver kept telling me how much he would have loved to have been born a woman and be able to feel a baby grow inside him. He just couldn't understand how I, a woman, was truly horrified at the prospect of having an alien displacing my organs, stealing my nutrients and then ripping me apart. Not all women want to have kids! He kept trying to convince me all the way, longest trip ever...

Joanne Hudson
Community Member
2 years ago

Ask him how he feels about the next 25 years after that marvelous feeling end.

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BusLady
Community Member
2 years ago

If you ask me, I think there are plenty of parents who never should have had children. Sad, but true.

KT Trondsen
Community Member
2 years ago

Ugh there is no balance!! Husband and I were married for years and years before having kids. We swore them off and got harassed on the regular on it. Then we somehow changed our priorities/minds and decided to have kids. We had a boy then a girl. I would like to have a third now and I get either "oh but you already have one of each!" or "Two is enough don't be so selfish!". People just love to judge no matter what the situation in my experiences. Some more than others. people suck

Alex Bailey
Community Member
2 years ago

Yes! I don't want children. Get over it. I don't find them funny or cute - yet I don't mind that you do so why mind that I don't want them?

Ola Polowczyk
Community Member
2 years ago

"you'll change your mind in your thirties" - I hear that all the time. Hate it so much. I made my decision. Leave me alone.

FloC
Community Member
2 years ago

I've heard that as well... I'm now 45, I don't have children and still very happy that way.

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Daniëlle Raats
Community Member
2 years ago

And the look they give you, like your a monster or something. Not everybody likes to be a mother! Some woman want a carreer, travel the world or what ever. Besides the world is already over populated, who is the monster now...

Laugh Fan
Community Member
2 years ago

I got told I was being selfish... Um, how? You are having children because YOU wanted them and not for some national good.

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Anastasia B
Community Member
2 years ago

I had several people tell me that I should have kids, even though I don't want to currently, because I will definitely want children at some point in the future and it will be late. Like what should I do with them if the time pass and I still don't want children? Return them? What's wrong with people. If I say I don't want to have children it's for a reason, I have thought about it, it's my business after all not everyone else's

Mindy Keys
Community Member
2 years ago

The best thing about turning 45... people finally shut the f up and realize I was serious when I said no kids from the time I was old enough to know what kids were. And a big F you to every male doctor who refused to sterilize me from the day I turned 21. Nope, I did NOT change my mind, thanks for nothing.

Felicia Dale
Community Member
2 years ago

Yep. I said this when I was 14 and I'm 60+ now and still haven't changed my mind.

Catpoker88
Community Member
2 years ago

My favorite line of logic from these fools " it's different when they are your own" ... If this were true, infanticide and child abandonment would not be things that existed. Face it, some people just do not want kids, isn't it better for them to come to terms with that before they have shot a living meat balloon out of their bodies? I mean, if people are so pro baby, wouldn't you want it born to someone who wants it and can care for it, rather than someone who would be tempted to leave it in an alley or dumpster?

Shana
Community Member
2 years ago

This needs more upvotes. I'm just done with so many people judging my choice to not have any kids and for some reason they feel the need to convince me to have a kid. No idea why people keep on doing this, as it has zero effect on their lives whether I have or don't have kids. Some people just don't want any kids and you can tell me "I'll regret it" all you want, it's not going to change my mind.

ilyasster
Community Member
2 years ago

İf you don't want children then don't make any. You want to hear some sympathy that people disagree with you or what? I believe the world is already overpopulated. So there s no need more people especially those who don't want but did because other people told her so. Those kind of parents pathetic ones. Pls don't make children!

Candice Ravel
Community Member
2 years ago

I say it all the time and am always met with " You never know". Bitch, I'm 43 and going through menopause - I'm pretty sure not wanting kids wasn't a fucking phase. PS - your screaming hell spawn aren't making your case, so zip it.

Sarah Burghart
Community Member
2 years ago

If the subject comes up with a young person of either gender, I usually try to point out that having children is not for everyone. It changes your life completely. I love my kids, but had to think really hard about whether or not I was willing to undergo such changes.

AliFab
Community Member
2 years ago

Ugh... people were asking my now husband and I when we were having kids before we were even married.

Time Itself
Community Member
2 years ago

Or the alternative response: "How can you not want kids. I thought you were a nice person."

Michelle Dodson
Community Member
2 years ago

Having a kid shouldn't be expected just because you came with the necessary equipment to create one. Again it comes down to women being ALLOWED to have control over their own bodies. Although I do have children, neither were planned. I was taking the pill AND using condoms. I used to joke that my son should have been born with a hormone imbalance wearing a shower cap.

Dog Lover
Community Member
2 years ago

Exactly! A girl I work with is like this and it's good to be able to relate to someone else who doesn't want children.

Shruti Naik
Community Member
2 years ago

It's worse when men tell you it's your job to have children and sacrifice everything to take care of them.

Isabel Care
Community Member
2 years ago

I don't even want them barbecued with extra sauce

Christina Sersif
Community Member
2 years ago

But you're a woman and your whole point of existence is to reproduce (this is sarcasm fyi)

Kiss Army
Community Member
2 years ago

I used to say I didn't want kids and I always got that BS too. I ultimately changed my mind and I adore my son but I never judge or try to change the mind of someone who doesn't want them. I would much rather someone realize they don't want children and not have them, than to have an unwanted child because society says you should.

Alex Ageroni
Community Member
4 months ago

I AGREEE

random Kiddo
Community Member
1 year ago

My mom tells me that when she was my age she thought the same thing.

Vaida Kuodytė
Community Member
1 year ago

Meanwhile I *kind of* want kids, but find babies and toddlers absolutely disgusting (human larvae), with their only redeeming quality that they will grow up eventually... how the heck do I explain that to people?

Luna Moonwatcher
Community Member
1 year ago

I’m ace sooo...

Ruth Beaty
Community Member
2 years ago

I usually say, good for you. If you don't want them please don't have them. Only people who really want kids should have them, let the ones who don't alone for goodness sake.

Caroline Driver
Community Member
2 years ago

I totally agree that women should be able to not want children. It's the other people around them who what them to have them, not sure why, maybe it's jealousy that they will have time and money that parents no longer have, maybe it's religious, maybe it's social stereotyping (most likely cause). But I also used to get pissed off at a friend who, every, single, time, that the subject of children came up, would say loudly that she never wanted children and had always known that she never wanted children. We knew her for about 5 years, but she still had to keep saying this. WE KNOW!

John Montgomery
Community Member
2 years ago

I think the craziest response to that is "It's selfish not to have kids". Seems like selfish would be bringing another life into the world when you don't have the means or mentality to properly care for them.

Summer Salvemini
Community Member
2 years ago

It stops around 30. They just go ooooh. And raise their eyebrows.

Id row
Community Member
2 years ago

When people ask why just tell them you never want to be the recipient of that much ingratitude. They won't know whether your kidding or not, give you an awkward chuckle and change the subject. Works for me :)

Jaguarundi
Community Member
2 years ago

Yep, still don't.

Robert Morson
Community Member
2 years ago

This is why I don't generally talk about my opinions on children. Because f*ck everyone else.

Hurrem Haseki
Community Member
2 years ago

This is me

Jo Smith
Community Member
2 years ago

Yes

NoYFB
Community Member
2 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Life tends to surprise people. At some point I was 100% sure I would NEVER have kids. Now I have 5. And absolutely no regrets and absolutely loving all of them. Sure they changed my life and took away my "freedom" but that's not a bad thing. It's the best thing in life to watch your kids grow up. If you don't want kids, that's more than ok. It's none of my business and some people shouldn't be parents at all anyway.

Zerish Kamal
Community Member
2 years ago

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I am not judging anyone who doesnt want kids for fair personal persons like no preference for the life style and happiness in not mother hood its even if i personally do want children and mother hood but i am gonna judge people who go flat out "i hate kids "or " kids are disgusting annoying little brats " because well i find them to be slightly larger disgusting annoying brats most the time why the fuck would you say that about a child and to a kids face too sometimes ya jerk get a life or human decency classes

First Last
Community Member
2 years ago

People can hate kids. I used to love kids then i spent time around my friends kids. I definitely hate kids now.

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Jordy Star
Community Member
2 years ago (edited)

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

lemme ask you a question, Did your parents birth you(yes), did your mother go through agony day and night for you(yes), were you once a child(yes),did you wake you parents up for god knows what every waking second(yes),you know if your parents did not birth you then you would not exist right(yes), so you don't want another child to exist and carry on the life cycle? I bet you'll buy a puppy that another mother had to suffer for and enjoy that yet you won't create life and carry on the human race. what if your mother had done the same thing you want to do hmm? think about it

lazy panda
Community Member
2 years ago

Frankly, if my mother had decided that she didn't want a child then it would have been her choice and I wouldn't have known the difference.

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#26

Funny Women Tumblr Posts

captainmjolnir Report

Janine B.
Community Member
2 years ago

Every nurse tells me it's usually men who hate blood and injections. ^^

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#27

Funny Women Tumblr Posts

vittyyluvscookies Report

Patti Brock
Community Member
2 years ago

LMAO

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#28

Funny Women Tumblr Posts

a-night-in-wonderland Report

Hans
Community Member
2 years ago

Women? Any animal lover!

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#29

Funny Women Tumblr Posts

plaidbakerstreetcaptain Report

Random Panda
Community Member
2 years ago

I think this was debunked.

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#30

Funny Women Tumblr Posts

babyanimalgifs Report

Person2638
Community Member
2 years ago (edited)

Me: black eyes, white hair, cute nose, four paws, samoyed

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#31

Funny Women Tumblr Posts

the-glitter-clit Report

Cactus McCoy
Community Member
2 years ago

Start biting really danerous and it will happen.

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#32

Funny Women Tumblr Posts

were-all-queer-here Report

Cactus McCoy
Community Member
2 years ago

Perfect one on BoredPanda.

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#33

Funny Women Tumblr Posts

jentuu Report

Bumble
Community Member
2 years ago

I don't get heels. I feel like I always have to be prepared to run away when I need to. Like from any social gatherings or my problems. Can't do that in heels.

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#34

Funny Women Tumblr Posts

heart Report

Mother Mary Helen
Community Member
2 years ago

Shanking you in the titty!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lmao

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#35

Funny Women Tumblr Posts

marzipanandminutiae Report

Person2638
Community Member
2 years ago

Ah, yes. I remember the day they invented out the first woman. T'was the year 1990 and men wanted to create a creature of darkness. A fearful being with immense power. Thus, the woman was born.

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#36

Funny Women Tumblr Posts

evemarieoftheearth Report

nanashi
Community Member
2 years ago

lol and this is why I can't enjoy rewatching my old disney favorites anymore

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#37

Funny Women Tumblr Posts

library-mermaid Report

Laugh Fan
Community Member
2 years ago

I just tried reading it out to my hubby and I couldn't tell it for laughing...

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#38

Funny Women Tumblr Posts

calicogals Report

Night Owl
Community Member
2 years ago

And you get your hair wet

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#39

Funny Women Tumblr Posts

natforprez Report

Jo Smith
Community Member
2 years ago

Hahaha so true

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#40

Funny Women Tumblr Posts

illegalaustralien Report

BusLady
Community Member
2 years ago

Without women, you wouldn't be born.

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#41

Funny Women Tumblr Posts

bunnywith Report

Miriam Vr
Community Member
2 years ago

I name my periods, this month it's Barses

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#42

Funny Women Tumblr Posts

who-the-fuck-let-me-have-a-blog Report

Clare McDuff
Community Member
2 years ago

😂😂😂 I thought it said ‘standing ovulation’

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#43

Funny Women Tumblr Posts

periodhumor Report

stellermatt
Community Member
2 years ago

they get ya with the small print

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#44

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the-glitter-clit Report

Beth
Community Member
2 years ago

I love Tyler!!! <3 <3

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#45

Funny Women Tumblr Posts

saynotodrugssayyestopenguin-blog Report

The Girl on Fire
Community Member
2 years ago

What really bothers me is not being able to walk alone at night. I love nighttime and walking around at 1 AM alone would be amazing.

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#46

Funny Women Tumblr Posts

moshdor Report

Hurrem Haseki
Community Member
2 years ago

Said no woman ever

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#47

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sweaterpawssss Report

Ola Polowczyk
Community Member
2 years ago

There is one specific model of skinny jeans I wear. If they stop producing them, I will start a riot.

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#48

Funny Women Tumblr Posts

tomche Report

Daria B
Community Member
2 years ago

Meh, I just bite it. I don't care about anyone's little fantasies. Ice-cream is not penis. Full stop.

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#49

Funny Women Tumblr Posts

prvblemvtic Report

Sonya Jersey
Community Member
2 years ago

Uterus hires assassin ovaries

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#50

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dwarfvania Report

Random Panda
Community Member
2 years ago

When I watched TV as a child I often thought there was something off about me, because I couldn't relate to most of the stuff they presented as "normal woman things". Things became much more clearer when I found out most other women didn't agree either and all that was written by men.

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