When life gives you lemons, it helps to laugh about it and let’s just say that life has dealt some women a fair share of the yellow citrus fruits. With the everyday trials from gender pay gaps to sexual harassment, women everywhere fight to advance themselves with their perseverance and a great sense of humor. As the era of damsels in distress is long over, the ladies from this list have baked the best lemon pies, that no male comedian could ever top in a hilarious jokes bake-off.
Bored Panda has collected a list of witty and funny Tumblr posts from the funniest people also known as women, that so perfectly encapsulate the everyday nonsense we go through using our favorite medium - inappropriate jokes (yes, there are quite a few bra complaints and life hacks). Men, if you read these stories some of them may come as a surprise to you, but to answer your question, yes, this is the kind of stuff women think about/go through. Scroll down below for the complete list of the best jokes written by women and don't forget to upvote your favorites!
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I get paid the same amount as my male colleagues doing the same job. Am I just lucky?
why isn't this one higher? great education for children :) they mostly repeat what their authorities say without even thinking about the issue. Someone said it's wrong, therefore it has to be wrong.
I hate the pads commercials. All the happy girls in FREAKIN' WHITE JEANS!!!! NO! I wear all black when I am on my period and still freak out that there will be a stain somewhere. And most of the time I want to curl in my bed and die basically.
If men want to stop abortions they should stop having unprotected sex, women can orgasm over and over and over and there are no unwanted babies created. It's women's bodies at stake but it's men's pride causing the problem. If men had to deal with the consequences of unwanted births this debate wouldn't be one
Relatable for the men with long hair too :) Hate it when this happens. Usually I just bust out a new holder at that point
Yeah great threat, but I'd never be able to pull it off if I actually was on my period. I'd be sobbing in a puddle of blood shoving chocolate up my mouth and wishing I was a boy.
The tablecloth story reminds me of an old woman who used to insist that you should never serve a leg of lamb for dinner "because it gives men ideas." Some people are odd.
casually say that you appear to be sterile and watch them shrink from shame
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A few weeks ago a taxi driver kept telling me how much he would have loved to have been born a woman and be able to feel a baby grow inside him. He just couldn't understand how I, a woman, was truly horrified at the prospect of having an alien displacing my organs, stealing my nutrients and then ripping me apart. Not all women want to have kids! He kept trying to convince me all the way, longest trip ever...
Ask him how he feels about the next 25 years after that marvelous feeling end.
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Yes! I don't want children. Get over it. I don't find them funny or cute - yet I don't mind that you do so why mind that I don't want them?
"you'll change your mind in your thirties" - I hear that all the time. Hate it so much. I made my decision. Leave me alone.
I've heard that as well... I'm now 45, I don't have children and still very happy that way.
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Ugh there is no balance!! Husband and I were married for years and years before having kids. We swore them off and got harassed on the regular on it. Then we somehow changed our priorities/minds and decided to have kids. We had a boy then a girl. I would like to have a third now and I get either "oh but you already have one of each!" or "Two is enough don't be so selfish!". People just love to judge no matter what the situation in my experiences. Some more than others. people suck
And the look they give you, like your a monster or something. Not everybody likes to be a mother! Some woman want a carreer, travel the world or what ever. Besides the world is already over populated, who is the monster now...
I got told I was being selfish... Um, how? You are having children because YOU wanted them and not for some national good.
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I had several people tell me that I should have kids, even though I don't want to currently, because I will definitely want children at some point in the future and it will be late. Like what should I do with them if the time pass and I still don't want children? Return them? What's wrong with people. If I say I don't want to have children it's for a reason, I have thought about it, it's my business after all not everyone else's
The best thing about turning 45... people finally shut the f up and realize I was serious when I said no kids from the time I was old enough to know what kids were. And a big F you to every male doctor who refused to sterilize me from the day I turned 21. Nope, I did NOT change my mind, thanks for nothing.
Yep. I said this when I was 14 and I'm 60+ now and still haven't changed my mind.
My favorite line of logic from these fools " it's different when they are your own" ... If this were true, infanticide and child abandonment would not be things that existed. Face it, some people just do not want kids, isn't it better for them to come to terms with that before they have shot a living meat balloon out of their bodies? I mean, if people are so pro baby, wouldn't you want it born to someone who wants it and can care for it, rather than someone who would be tempted to leave it in an alley or dumpster?
This needs more upvotes. I'm just done with so many people judging my choice to not have any kids and for some reason they feel the need to convince me to have a kid. No idea why people keep on doing this, as it has zero effect on their lives whether I have or don't have kids. Some people just don't want any kids and you can tell me "I'll regret it" all you want, it's not going to change my mind.
İf you don't want children then don't make any. You want to hear some sympathy that people disagree with you or what? I believe the world is already overpopulated. So there s no need more people especially those who don't want but did because other people told her so. Those kind of parents pathetic ones. Pls don't make children!
I say it all the time and am always met with " You never know". B***h, I'm 43 and going through menopause - I'm pretty sure not wanting kids wasn't a f*****g phase. PS - your screaming hell spawn aren't making your case, so zip it.
If the subject comes up with a young person of either gender, I usually try to point out that having children is not for everyone. It changes your life completely. I love my kids, but had to think really hard about whether or not I was willing to undergo such changes.
Or the alternative response: "How can you not want kids. I thought you were a nice person."
Having a kid shouldn't be expected just because you came with the necessary equipment to create one. Again it comes down to women being ALLOWED to have control over their own bodies. Although I do have children, neither were planned. I was taking the pill AND using condoms. I used to joke that my son should have been born with a hormone imbalance wearing a shower cap.
It's worse when men tell you it's your job to have children and sacrifice everything to take care of them.
But you're a woman and your whole point of existence is to reproduce (this is sarcasm fyi)
I used to say I didn't want kids and I always got that BS too. I ultimately changed my mind and I adore my son but I never judge or try to change the mind of someone who doesn't want them. I would much rather someone realize they don't want children and not have them, than to have an unwanted child because society says you should.
Meanwhile I *kind of* want kids, but find babies and toddlers absolutely disgusting (human larvae), with their only redeeming quality that they will grow up eventually... how the heck do I explain that to people?
I usually say, good for you. If you don't want them please don't have them. Only people who really want kids should have them, let the ones who don't alone for goodness sake.
I totally agree that women should be able to not want children. It's the other people around them who what them to have them, not sure why, maybe it's jealousy that they will have time and money that parents no longer have, maybe it's religious, maybe it's social stereotyping (most likely cause). But I also used to get pissed off at a friend who, every, single, time, that the subject of children came up, would say loudly that she never wanted children and had always known that she never wanted children. We knew her for about 5 years, but she still had to keep saying this. WE KNOW!
I think the craziest response to that is "It's selfish not to have kids". Seems like selfish would be bringing another life into the world when you don't have the means or mentality to properly care for them.
It stops around 30. They just go ooooh. And raise their eyebrows.
This is why I don't generally talk about my opinions on children. Because f*ck everyone else.
People can hate kids. I used to love kids then i spent time around my friends kids. I definitely hate kids now.
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Frankly, if my mother had decided that she didn't want a child then it would have been her choice and I wouldn't have known the difference.
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Ah, yes. I remember the day they invented out the first woman. T'was the year 1990 and men wanted to create a creature of darkness. A fearful being with immense power. Thus, the woman was born.
What really bothers me is not being able to walk alone at night. I love nighttime and walking around at 1 AM alone would be amazing.
There is one specific model of skinny jeans I wear. If they stop producing them, I will start a riot.
When I watched TV as a child I often thought there was something off about me, because I couldn't relate to most of the stuff they presented as "normal woman things". Things became much more clearer when I found out most other women didn't agree either and all that was written by men.
You know, as amusing as most of these are I feel like there have been too much "tumblr" articles on BoredPanda lately. I've seen most of this s**t and if I wanted tumblr humour I'd go to tumblr.
I think I have a problem, its 1:00 a.m. and i just scrolled through 203 posts reading every single one of them.
The first half I laughed til I cried - then sloooowly they got worse and worse. And why the 5-6 repeats?
Because when you reload or go to the next page the order may have changed as they will have been voted on.
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It's a shame that you're whiney, woman hating a*s still gets to comment on articles.
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You know, as amusing as most of these are I feel like there have been too much "tumblr" articles on BoredPanda lately. I've seen most of this s**t and if I wanted tumblr humour I'd go to tumblr.
I think I have a problem, its 1:00 a.m. and i just scrolled through 203 posts reading every single one of them.
The first half I laughed til I cried - then sloooowly they got worse and worse. And why the 5-6 repeats?
Because when you reload or go to the next page the order may have changed as they will have been voted on.
Load More Replies... It's a shame that you're whiney, woman hating a*s still gets to comment on articles.
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