You get into an argument with someone, the two of you are going at each other back and forth, and they get you so riled up that you suddenly can't think of a good comeback. Until you're taking a shower two years later.
There's actually a French term for this called l'esprit de l'escalier. It describes the feeling you get when you come up with the perfect reply after the fact.
We've all been there. It's devastating.
So let's take a moment and pay our respects to the people who can, in fact, deliver the goods on the spot. Taken from the appropriately titled subreddit r/MurderedByWords, here are some of the best ways to end a disagreement.
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Australians Are Easily Offended
Because God Told Me To
Witty comebacks can not be planned. They are made in the moment. In a heated argument, timing is everything and that means your answer must be as fast as the words that surprised you. But somewhat counterintuitively, the key to coming up with a winning retort is to hone your listening skills.
According to Abigail Paul, the artistic director at the Theatre Language Studio (TLS) in Frankfurt, people think faster than others speak, giving the listener "extra time" to compose an answer, even while they give the appearance of still listening to what the other person is saying.
Consider this: how many times have you been on a conference call and already had an idea to share, an answer to a question or a solution to a problem before the person on the line has even finished his sentence? The same listening skills and thought processes apply when a conversation turns sour and you need to defend yourself.
What Makes Fetal Heartbeat So Special?
Yeah Homie
If two kids are playing and one has a stick( knowing sticks have the ability to be dangerous), don't you take the stick. If you give them both sticks, something bad will happen. Same with guns
A 16 Year Old Takes Her Shot And Politely Dispatches Her Belittling Elders
Preach sister. That's the sanest thing I've heard all day. Good for you
The question is how to refocus that extra time you have while you're listening.
"Most of us don't listen to the whole message, we are just waiting to make our own points. There is no magic bullet to getting better at listening besides practice," Paul, who teaches improvisation theatre techniques, told the BBC.
One strategy to perfect your listening skills is through a simple game of one-word volleyball, where two people build a story by rapidly taking turns to add a word to what the other said immediately before. The game forces you to listen actively and respond spontaneously.
First Knees, Then Ankles
Oh No! Abort, Ab- Oh Wait
Nope, Not Benny Boy
Rumoured to be a doctor? Wow how to demean someone in one passive aggressive sentence. What an a*s.
Fatality, Fatality
I'm a man, and I've loved fruity drinks since 1997. Since when has fruit been a problem?
"The goal is that we let go of our own ego and our own ideas because a huge part of listening is that you really have to be willing to be changed by what's being said," Paul explained.
In the case of snide remarks, if you know your colleague has a tendency to make them, train your brain to listen to his or her words carefully and be prepared to quickly defuse the situation. "You take away the control factor," she said.
Yes, Well, You See, I'm Never Wrong
In that case we can take care of those pro lifers* loads water gun of grape juice* since none of them are civil
So Simple
No, No. He's Got A Point
There is so much wrong in the original post it's almost laughable. Not just the important point made in response, but the fact that they clearly consider gays to only be male. And the fact they think depopulating the earth would be a bad thing. Honestly, anyone having more than two kids these days needs to have a big think about what they're doing.
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I watched Jurassic Park so many time... never turn into a dinosaur. *sadness*
Keep at it mulk - have faith, if you just watch it a few more times.....
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"no one will want to have sex with a woman" ... i'm fairly sure lesbians exist...
YES... Cause if there's something wrong with today's society is that nobody wants to have sex with women anymore. That is why we never hear of anything about women talking about rape, sexual assault, stalking, harassments, body shaming and the list goes and on and on. Let's first start with not having sex with women who don't want you and continue from there, okay?
I love how he's like "No one will want to have sex with a woman" which somehow makes it the womans fault that gay men generally don't have sex with women.
And of course he makes it seem like gay women don't exist
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My kids watched a crazy amount of Teletubbies, but neither have yet turned into tinky winky.... they are my smiling Suns though
So what you're saying is that if I watch Detective Pikachu a few more times (already watched it at least 3 times), then I'll become a Pokemon? Sweet
Homophobes argument is always that LGBTQ+ folks will ‘depopulate’ the earth! Have no phones ever considered that LGBTQ+ folks can have kids, since we have IVF and other medical procedures like that, and maybe LGBTQ+ folks want kids too?! Also, they can adopt, which will take kids out of the foster systems. And maybe it’s a good thing to ‘depopulate’ the earth by having there be less of a push to have kids, since sooner or later the earth will reach its limit.
There's orphanages and there are sperm banks...the population will be fine
My mom told me that Minecraft would make me gay so my dad said "well he will just play some madden right after to make him straight again"
Oh this is fun. So, I played WOW for some years. I imagine that fact must have made me male. But now I play Minecraft most of the time, so it must have turned me gay. Conclusion: I am a gay man. Oh, I must tell that to my husband and kids! And I've got a buzz cut recently too! Now it all makes sense! LMAO
Load More Replies... Homophobes clearly do not understand how media works. You can't change wants already a part of you.
Ru Paul and Divine did me wrong as a kid as I grew up straight. I also have no fashion sense and subpar makeup skill; I feel so slighted
Red stripe is an idiot... If 100% of the planet's population suddenly became homosexual, at least half of the population would still want to have sex with a woman...unless he's one of those freaks that think women actually don't *want* sex, but only have it to make a man happy? It *would* cut the population drastically in one generation, but IVF and platinum needles are known tech...so we wouldn't actually go extinct.
Because sometimes heterosexuality is really, really fragile. Sometimes all it takes is a whiff of a fruity drink and BOOM! Next thing you know, you are in Tijuana, wearing a feathered boa, chugging a Pina Colada while doing a donkey show. Scary as heck, man!
then by this logic being exposed to video games would make a me a level 85 high elf with very high magic or special forces soldier or s superhero sadly none of this has happened but really seems to me that dude got caught looking at gay porn and was like erm no its just for research to see what our kids are exposed to
The only possible answer is that gay stuff is so much more tempting than straight stuff. And straights have way less willpower. /s
Too much? I don't think there's enough LGBTQ+ on TV. Unless I'm way out of touch with TV these days.
Here's some other questions...then why is it that gay relationships are recorded as being back before there was TV and social media? And, if all it took was to be exposed to Strict Christian Heterosexuality to keep kids straight, how come so many gay people are from strict Christian households? And if gay is a choice...why would they choose to enrage said Strict Christian parents and risk getting thrown out of a home that provides shelter and three meals a day in exchange for homelessness and starvation?
I mean I have those worried too, but there are banks and stuff and surrogates and like a million kids in adoption agencies not yet adopted stop worrying until there’s an actual bad decrease in population, it also couldn’t hurt to decrease the rate of birth.
Another question. If it’s the media and televisions fault how were there documented homosexuals through out history. I mean not like they would watch tv before the 1950s. 🤔🤫
How will these kids act when they become adults? Going to College/Vocational School, getting a job? If they never interact with LGBTQ+, POC or even women, how are they going to handle having one of those groups of people teaching them, supervising them, plain old working with them? Even if they stay home and live in their parent's basements, they'll have to interact with others at some point. A whole generation of clueless, prejudiced people? Great.
Honestly what is wrong with depopulating the earth anyways? Heck this way is a lot better than some other ideas I have...
Don't get me wrong, I think the whole lgtb stuff is great and it's good for people not to hide themselves but I do think it's getting to a point where it's kind of annoying, like everyone needs to stop shoving it down our throats, most people don't care if you're gay or not, what we do care about is you constantly reminding us that you are.
Well, if no one wants to have sex with a woman, then at least there would be no rape.
I watched all kinds of cartoons that said a lot of things were ok .. I had parents to raise me, who didn't let TV do it for them. Knowledge doesn't harm children, parents not preparing children for knowledge harms them. Further... I don't think we need to worry about the world not having enough people. Further, further - whether the TV says it's ok or not there will still be the same amount of gay people. The only thing the TV in this context does is discourage their suicides
Uhm... What do you mean no one will want to have sex with a woman? Do you think gay men are bad but gay women are non existent?
Plenty of gay men and women wanted and managed to have children. So no, unfortunately the world won't be depopulated any time soon, don't worry.
well u just made a great argument for how to depopulate a planet that is already struggling to support the current overpopulation of the planet. Oh and FYI birthrates have been in decline all over the world, even in places where there is little to no "homosexualtiy" on TV
I was exposed to a lot of Disney. Why didn't it turn me into a duck or mouse?
Ugh I don’t watch shows with black people because it will make me black! /s I too watched many shows with heterosexual characters but I’m still pans
I started telling guys like that that if being gay is a choice, then they would enjoy fellating a guy any day, they just choose not to, then I watch them foam at the mouth, raging that they would never! :) Then I add sweetly: "Yeah, but that's because you choose not to do it, not because you wouldn't like going down on a guy. You make a choice, no?" Honestly, is so much more satisfying than attempting logic with them. :)
Meh if you can explain things properly because most times educators can't be bothered to, all exposing them does is let them know it exists, and allows them to experiment earlier on to see if maybe just maybe being homosexual is for them or not. I mean, eventually every kid learns Santa isn't real, eventually every kid will learn homosexuality exists.
Sooo, everyone would be gay if allowed to or what? Our dear homophobe here obviously doesn't care much for heterosexual sex themselves, if they honestly think people must be more or less forced to do it that way. Have fun buried in the closet, asshat.
Tv and internet mite make people dumber but not gay I'm set in my way of thinking but (I'll be 51 this year) I'm really trying to learn
There's a great scene in the movie In & Out where as a response to this sort of nonsense the entire town stands up and admits they are now gay because they are related to the one gay guy in town, were in his class, cut his hair, delivered his mail etc. It is hilarious. Like the idea of my sexuality changing because two same sex cartoon characters shared a 1 second peck on the lips and I saw it.
Watching Sailor Moon for hours on end for my entire childhood didn't turn me into a sailor scout.
I used to watch a lot of foreign language TV but I am still bad at languages. I wish that watching stuff on TV worked as well as you think.
If a white kid is exposed to pocs, will the kid turn to a poc itself? 🤔🙄
Yeah! Great comeback! Conversely, if what he said were true, it wouldn't be such a bad thing. The earth could use some "depopulating." Stupid people are outbreeding their more intelligent counterparts, thus watering down the gene pool. We need more quality and less quantity.
So letting people know it's fine to be accepted is wrong. Remind me how the native Americans treated you when you first came.
You are absolutely right Greg yet, whenever a homophobe sees a LGBTQ+ couple, they only see them having sex or reduces us down to porn categories and forget we're human.
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when did you grow up, in the 60s?? f-a-g-g-o-t-s have been around for ages...
Dumbass. Couldn't Think Of Anything Wittier
If a colleague tells you, "Oh that’s real smart," Paul says she might try responding with this: "Thanks. I don't always receive praise for my intelligence."
Or "That’s the best you can do?" But you can also try: "I'm afraid so. Where do we go from here?"
Don't Be That Guy
Greatest Country In The World!
In parts of Africa we have harmattan. In the US you have " thousand are killed by a reckless government who is more like a corporation than a government" season. I'll take chapped lips over bullets in geometry any day
I Know, It's Absolutely Bonkers
Preacher Speaking God's Word
Ugh, I'm honestly so tired of these nutters coming in here and shoving their religion in our faces.
Another idea is to try and forget your pride and raise the status of the other person. "Status" used in this sense comes from the rules of improvisation theatre, where you have to make your stage partner look good.
Let's say a manager or colleague takes a swipe at you repeatedly. Paul suggests the "status move," which is best conveyed in tone of voice.
They Always Forget About That Part
More humans to work multi jobs for less than minimum wage and live in misery without healthcare paid for. Maybe bring back child labour and really stop the rot of human rights. Next on the list stop women having property rights. In for a penny etc.
Armadillos Are Funny Looking Animals
You don't have to be part of the people to want rights for them, you selfish clodhopper
They Should Know How To Survive Without One Person
Guilting people into staying at work? Tsk tsk, I expected better, capitalism
Louder With Dumbass
"You could respond to 'Would you suggest something better?' with 'Well, I see you've got some great ideas already, but I think we could perhaps make the whole thing work even better,'" said Paul.
"Of course, with the wrong tone, they would all come out nasty. It's not really about the text, so much as it is the tone."
Peta Being Peta
She Works At Mcdonalds
The Hunger Games was meant to inspire us...so let's let it. The elites must pay...us for our efforts
Economics Are Hard
Minimum wage won't cause inflation. Capitalist greed causes inflation. Thank you for coming to my Ted talk
I Think He Just Did
There’s something to be said for killing someone with kindness and often the best retorts are comebacks that are witty, take the higher moral ground, are appropriate, and most importantly, positive.
According to Belina Raffy, a business improvisation consultant who once worked with a condescending manager, when banter turns toxic, it kills all ideas in the office. Even worse, it leaves a negative drag on other people's energy and tears teams apart.
She Literally Wrote A Whole Song About It
Everyone should be allowed to wear whatever they want whenever they want but the world is judgemental and so they criticise people just because of their clothing. People reading this, know that your body is your choice and you can wear whatever you want anytime. Feel free to express yourself, but please never judge people just because of their clothing.
Wendy's Being Wholesome Is Rather Unexpected
That's Because Australia Isn't Real
The Bible is actually dated back to the HUMAN THAT WROTE IT. Moron, I tell thee!!
Her Go To Work A**
Maybe you should stop taking photos of this poor woman doing her job. What a pervert.
When a negative comment is made in a work setting — where, hopefully, everyone wants to see projects succeed and keep their jobs — those comments usually come from a place of insecurity.
For example, a colleague may be unsure how to approach a particular task — he may believe that throwing the attention back to somebody else with a negative retort will remove the focus from his (real or perceived) ineptitude.
Weird Al Yankovic Destroys Kid Rock’s New Music Video
Got Hit With The "Come See Me After Class"
Science teachers need awards for how many of these morons they can educate
Completely And Totally Unnecessary
People who only consider their own survival from illness are both selfish and stupid. The point of vaccination is never for one specific individual to die or survive but to make sure a greater number total survives (and then there's all the people who won't have to live with whatever other issues the diseases might leave behind, like infertility, blindness, chronic fatigue and so on).
Millennials Are Ruining Population Stability
Positive comments are generally a far better tool for keeping projects on track while showing your love of linguistic acrobatics. Others will find the humor in them and negative interactions quickly cease. If a colleague says, "this project is going nowhere fast," you could say, "at least it's going and I intend to steer it in the right direction."
In fact, according to Raffy, positive witty comments build trust among colleagues, bosses, and subordinates, and they can turn a formerly harsh environment into an accepting one, where everyone’s opinion matters.
How Do Pronouns Work
Correlation ≠ Causation
No Statute Of Limitations On Murder
I'm just waiting for these pro lifers to have a loved one with a incompetent womb and no way to survive a pregnancy and see how they handle it
Don't Tag The Person You're Lying About
Nothing burns more than the person you talked about actually confirming its not true
Negative comments, however, do the opposite. "They increase tension, make a person feel excluded or inferior, and as though they are not in the 'in group' which is in the know," she pointed out.
Raffy recommends trying to reveal the "ridiculousness of the situation," without making the antagonist into the villain. It's much better to turn them into the "victim" of the absurd circumstances instead.
Well Yeah, The Whole Thing Was Crap To Begin With
As someone who got in trouble in 7th grade after a boy followed her into the bathroom because I was "annoying" him with my bubble necklace (he kicked me, in the girls' bathroom, but he was a good boy and that couldn't have been his fault) I find it very depressing that this is still where we are. And incidentally, I think any trans ladies I've shared a bathroom with would've helped me kick his a*s.
Languages Are Fun!
Math, Not Even Once
The Single Most British Murder I've Ever Seen
"The best retorts speakthe truth — when a person calls something that the other people didn't see," Paul said. "That's generally what makes us laugh."
And usually, that's the end goal of a witty comeback — to get people to laugh. A shared laugh is a great way to reduce tension. Of course, the "rules" for online banter are a bit different and you generally have more time to work with, but most of these principles still apply.
“Owning The Libs”
Who do you think want your shiny, eco friendly, no need for oil or oil companies car
Seriously? Ireland?!
Win-Win Situation
How pathetic. Just stop putting the rest of us in danger with your antivax b******t, ok??
Meet My Friend, Terry
Lemon Squeezy!
It is a common thing for wealthy people to believe poor people "just don't want to work". If you're the sort of person who might feel bad that you have eight cars and four houses while some people are struggling to feed their children, this helps you feel better about it without actually having to acknowledge that you got lucky and other people didn't.
God Has Nothing To Do With It
You Do You
Facts Aren't As Important As Your Narrative
Even if she was Egyptian, she still wouldn't be black, she would be tan. Americans need to understand that not all Africans are black and not all black people are African Americans.
Bro Hit Him With The Receipt
Note: this post originally had 70 images. It’s been shortened to the top 50 images based on user votes.
Well, if he was smarter he could reach "absolute nightmare" status, but since he is an idiot I suppose he is more like one of those crappy dreams you just want to get out of your head.
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As I read the posts I started with a headache. Further on and it evolved into a migrain. Then a brain tumor. At the end, I'm pretty sure I had a stroke. How do some people function!
I got so angry I couldn't keep reading any more of these... our world is possibly f****d
We ABSOLUTELY need to change some things so people have to be smarter to survive.
Because in some parts of the world, politics are destroying people's lives.
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I love freedom of speech for darker reasons. Identifying those with less gray matter than a bone dry skull in the desert is one of them.
That moron "pastor" misinterpreted every single one of the Bible passages it listed. What else can one expect, though, from someone who clearly practices self-righteousness along with its holier-than-thou attitude!?!
I just don't understand why people are fighting against things not realizing it could benefit "their side' too... You don't want more rights for group B? Ok fine, but that means group A gets less rights too. This is very much a "Jonny can cut the cake but Timmy gets to choose" So be fair to others, and understand whatever you do may come back to bite you
Well, if he was smarter he could reach "absolute nightmare" status, but since he is an idiot I suppose he is more like one of those crappy dreams you just want to get out of your head.
Load More Replies... As I read the posts I started with a headache. Further on and it evolved into a migrain. Then a brain tumor. At the end, I'm pretty sure I had a stroke. How do some people function!
I got so angry I couldn't keep reading any more of these... our world is possibly f****d
We ABSOLUTELY need to change some things so people have to be smarter to survive.
Because in some parts of the world, politics are destroying people's lives.
Load More Replies... I love freedom of speech for darker reasons. Identifying those with less gray matter than a bone dry skull in the desert is one of them.
That moron "pastor" misinterpreted every single one of the Bible passages it listed. What else can one expect, though, from someone who clearly practices self-righteousness along with its holier-than-thou attitude!?!
I just don't understand why people are fighting against things not realizing it could benefit "their side' too... You don't want more rights for group B? Ok fine, but that means group A gets less rights too. This is very much a "Jonny can cut the cake but Timmy gets to choose" So be fair to others, and understand whatever you do may come back to bite you
