You get into an argument with someone, the two of you are going at each other back and forth, and they get you so riled up that you suddenly can't think of a good comeback. Until you're taking a shower two years later.
There's actually a French term for this called l'esprit de l'escalier. It describes the feeling you get when you come up with the perfect reply after the fact.
We've all been there. It's devastating.
So let's take a moment and pay our respects to the people who can, in fact, deliver the goods on the spot. Taken from the appropriately titled subreddit r/MurderedByWords, here are some of the best ways to end a disagreement.
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Australians Are Easily Offended
Because God Told Me To
Witty comebacks can not be planned. They are made in the moment. In a heated argument, timing is everything and that means your answer must be as fast as the words that surprised you. But somewhat counterintuitively, the key to coming up with a winning retort is to hone your listening skills.
According to Abigail Paul, the artistic director at the Theatre Language Studio (TLS) in Frankfurt, people think faster than others speak, giving the listener "extra time" to compose an answer, even while they give the appearance of still listening to what the other person is saying.
Consider this: how many times have you been on a conference call and already had an idea to share, an answer to a question or a solution to a problem before the person on the line has even finished his sentence? The same listening skills and thought processes apply when a conversation turns sour and you need to defend yourself.
What Makes Fetal Heartbeat So Special?
Yeah Homie
If two kids are playing and one has a stick( knowing sticks have the ability to be dangerous), don't you take the stick. If you give them both sticks, something bad will happen. Same with guns
What is going to stop some crazed kid from tackling me (60 year old petite school teacher) and taking a gun off of me? Let's think of logistics here before we come up with some crazy ideas of arming teachers.
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Why should teachers have to bear the responsibility of carrying a firearm and taking down shooters? They have a hard enough time being underpaid and overworked, and now they should be burdened with the responsibilities of a cop, because the government refuses to do more to stop mass shootings? That's b******t
I want to teach my kids how to analyze literature. I don't f*****g want to have to murder one of them. Conservatives have no value for life, education, liberty, or anything.
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I’m a teacher and I managed to injure myself with a stapler. Do not give me a firearm.
Practically speaking, where are these weapons supposed to be kept? In your desk…purse, what? And we know no child will get ahold of it, right? I don’t think some of these ideas have been thought through very well. If we really want to start making progress, start paying teachers more for what they do NOW.
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This b******t "reasoning" is just another nail in the coffin of this country. Wake up people! NO OTHER COUNTRY has the problem of massive gun violence that we do! Why? Because we have too many goddamn guns! More guns aren't the answer! And don't come at me with that second amendment rights bull s**t, either. The second amendment mentions guns in the context of a "well regulated militia". Are you part of a WELL REGULATED militia? No? Then sit down, shut up, and get rid of the gun!
I get this but people that want to kill will find away. It's just hard to know what will happen when law abiding citizens give them up and some crazy person comes at them with a gun. It's a crapshoot. I am on the fence about it. I mean, I guess if the person wanted to kill they will find an ax or a machete or even a car. But, maybe it will make it harder for them to do that. I don't know. Both sides make good arguments. Lol. FYI I do not use them.
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That is too much to ask of a person. Teachers work hard enough in school without having police training
Don't get me started on those cops. Someone should have had the balls to stop it sooner. We all know that every second matters in those situations, it wasn't a hostage negotiation, the lunatic inside just wanted to kill as many poor kids as he could. They should have had a team briefed on the way there and in immediately. They're supposed to have guys trained for rapid response like that. I'm an ex-military officer and I'd have had guys inside in within 10 minutes of arriving. Adequate training allows you to quickly react, but in this case I'm guessing lack of adherence to the 6 P's proved devastatingly correct: Prior Preparation Prevents P**s Poor Performance!
The cops job is to serve and protect...school staffs job is to help students.
If we have to arm teachers then we have to arm parade spectators, movie goers, cashiers, co-workers, bosses and concert attendees, too. The list keeps growing everyday.
What Rick and his fellow fanatics have to remember...someone armed with a firearm having a bad day results in a bullet entering something. Do they REALLY want teachers waving pistols around threatening the misbehaving students? 'Cause we ALL know that it WILL happen, and some mouthy kid *will* be murdered by a PO'd teacher! -- Besides, if they want to see what will happen with a fully armed Public, look into the history of San Francisco(?) in the early 20th... Death by firearm outnumbered EVERY OTHER cause of death.
If a teacher had that kind of temperament, i would question why they were allowed to be around children to begin with. Gun or not.
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Teachers are grossly underpaid as it is, and now we're gonna add "armed guard" to their job descriptions? Sorry, but if I were a teacher, I'd be considering a different profession at this point.
Do you know how much money teacher makes? How frustrating the job became because of absurd parents and a worth ministry of education? The LAST thing you want is to start arming them with guns.
lol for $40k/yr they’re supposed to be trained in defensive handgun, SDS & possibly CCW to take on an enraged, logistic-planned psycho with an AR-15??? Bartending & food serving pays better with less the hassle and stress.
Guns, no guns, it really doesn't f**king matter. The problem is the absolute earth shattering mental health crisis going on in this country right now. People weren't happy before the pandemic. Imagine all the c**p we've dealt with over the last two years along with all the socio-political divisiveness, all on top of bullying and parental abuse. People have had guns for hundreds of years. Mass shootings are a relatively new phenomena. And what's suffering the most right now is mental health.
But Rick is right! Look at Europe! We do not have as many School Shootings because our teachers are heavily armed special forces, who guard our students in their military base like schools! That's the only reason children are safe here! /s (just for precautions sake: this is heavy sarcasm!)
A teacher's job is not to shoot people, it is to teach children that "alot" isn't a word.
Imagine if an average Joe and Jane can't just waltz into a shop and get an assault rifle or handguns so easily. A lot of lives could have been saved.
Those guys weren't trying to come up with an attack plan....they were trying to find their balls
Rick (and his ilk) assumes the teacher won't be the one locking the door and wiping out the whole classroom.
This needs to be higher up. I'm dumbfounded by how many people think guns will solve all the problems that guns create. Until you are actually in a live fire situation, you have no idea what you will do.
A legal weapon in the US is 14 times more likely to be used against a family member (suicide, accidental homicide, murder) that to be used in the defense of property or persons. Throwing more guns into schools just places another deadly liability into our classrooms.
"Teachers are indoctrinating! Teachers are failing to do their jobs! Teachers are whining about pay! Teachers unions are destroying our schools! Oh, but we HAVE to arm them."
the teacher is allready in side not like the cowards that stayed out waiting .
I find it very sad that Police officers in a very "gun savvy" state took over 1 hour to go into the classroom, when the Police from Sandy Hook were in there in less then 10 minutes. Just goes to show, you never know until you are in that situation.
I remember a few undesirable teachers in my high school that probably should NEVER be handed a gun, especially to be in a school with rowdy kids. I wouldn't trust every teacher to be wise with a weapon, and many don't want that responsibility either!
Where i live we have a saying "Kdo chce psa bít, hůl si najde." which translates to "Who wishes to beat a dog will find a stick to do it with." Taking away guns will not solve the issue at all. USA just sucks in teaching it's citizens how to work with guns and what the value of a human life is. Source: my country has similar gun regulation to USA and fatal shootings of any kind are very rare. We have also never had a school shooting.
With proper training, they can and should. A few days of summer camp firearms training will do wonders for the average citizen. (teachers are above average).
umm yes I do because the lunch lady and librarian wouldn't be afraid of repercussions from some agencies policies and procedures. Source: Legal gun owner, mother and LE professional.
The trained officers were being told not to go in for some dumb reason and they had to comply as they are ruled by higher ups. Citizens are not. Those teachers would have been allowed to fire. I'm not a police officer, just a lowly mom who works at a university. But I have a carry permit and you better believe that I would be ready to take on a heavily armed man.
It's amazing how some lawmakers and NRA try to resolve the mass shooting problem by introducing the "armed good guys" instead of, "firearm possession control." A lot of people do not understand what the Second Amendment means; even some lawmakers.
So the conclusion is that you'd do anything, any absurd thing (armed teachers, metal detectors, see-through backpacks...) but the only reasonable thing, which is gun regulations... Aha, ok... It's basically like me when I'm chilling on the couch and I need to change the channel but the remote is out of reach so instead of standing up and literally make one step to grab the remote I start contortioning and try using my feet and doing anything beside the only reasonable, slightly inconvenient but faster and more effective thing.
The fact that they sat outside for a freaking hour trying to come up with a plan is appalling!
Those 19 we're told to wait for their superior go ahead. I would have ignored that sh!t, but hindsight is 20/20. And who has a 8mm? A 9mm is a popular one. Someone with some training could easily take out someone with one.
why are you so stupid? gun violence sucks you should use explosives
We shouldn't even have this problem. Unfortunately we do. Giving teachers guns is just welcoming more mass shootings. It's like how more security officers that are authorized to carry didn't stop the Buffalo New York mass shooting and the local grocery store.
So the year before I started high school, there was a shooting at the school. Fast forward to my senior year and I'm taking Criminal Justice and the teacher told us he'd been keeping his gun somewhere in his classroom since the shooting. Wouldn't show it to us though so he could have been blowing smoke. He also used to be CIA...IRS! I mean IRS. He only worked with the CIA on occasion. EDIT: I do not support bringing a gun to school. I don't think that teacher did either. I might be remembering wrong. He may have been talking about his antique musk at that didn't actually work and he used in hilarious history presentations. Anyway, I just like telling the story. We all thought Mr. K and his wife, the school librarian were former spies. That was the rumor.
The idea that arming the public to stop violence is stupid. You want a bunch of untrained people armed and trying to engage an active shooter? And the “certified training to carry a firearm”…shooting a target and shooting a person are wildly different things. All this circles around open carry in general. I believe there should be universal background checks, raise the age 18-21 and some carefully written red flag laws but people should be able to buy a gun. The open carry thing blows my mind though. It’s not the 1880’s for a reason.
They don't need convincing arguments. They want guns and violence and it's their god given right. You can't argue with them man. They are processed, or outright demons.
We should use the same deterrent we had during the cold war. Bury a nuclear warhead under each school, and give the teachers, students, and staff an implanted deadman switch. One person dies, the whole city dies. Give me some time and i can come up with other equally stupid ideas.
I have no issue with guns. I have one. I have an issue with the access people have to guns. Lets say the teachers were armed. You can't leave the gun on the desk or have it on you when you're with a bunch of kids who could grab it. And if you keep it in a lockbox, then you may not be able to access it in time. You also can't predict your reaction in a situation like this. Your instinct might be to get safe not to go get the gun and go commando and kill someone. You can't predict what you're going to do or how scared you'll be. I've seen people with guns who can't pull the trigger. So instead why don't we make it a little harder for mentally ill people to access guns. Lets make it a requirement that guns are kept in fingerprint lock boxes. I have one. It's easier to access than a lock and more secure. Fines should be astronomical for not keeping them locked up. Bullets should be very expensive so you won't have a box of 50 laying around. It's not perfect but a good 1st step.
I mean lunch ladies are badass, but they shouldn't have to have a f*****g shotgun
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The teacher will protect her children...Yes I said "her" children because that is how most teachers feel about their students
It’s both. You get that, right? Mental health issues and easy gun access equals two mass shootings a day in the US. Other developed countries that have sensible gun controls don’t have the mass shootings, but they do have people with mental health problems. See? Simple.
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You're right, most people with guns are stupid civilians. Get it together.
Load More Replies...A 16 Year Old Takes Her Shot And Politely Dispatches Her Belittling Elders
Preach sister. That's the sanest thing I've heard all day. Good for you
The question is how to refocus that extra time you have while you're listening.
"Most of us don't listen to the whole message, we are just waiting to make our own points. There is no magic bullet to getting better at listening besides practice," Paul, who teaches improvisation theatre techniques, told the BBC.
One strategy to perfect your listening skills is through a simple game of one-word volleyball, where two people build a story by rapidly taking turns to add a word to what the other said immediately before. The game forces you to listen actively and respond spontaneously.
First Knees, Then Ankles
Oh No! Abort, Ab- Oh Wait
Nope, Not Benny Boy
Rumoured to be a doctor? Wow how to demean someone in one passive aggressive sentence. What an a*s.
Fatality, Fatality
I'm a man, and I've loved fruity drinks since 1997. Since when has fruit been a problem?
"The goal is that we let go of our own ego and our own ideas because a huge part of listening is that you really have to be willing to be changed by what's being said," Paul explained.
In the case of snide remarks, if you know your colleague has a tendency to make them, train your brain to listen to his or her words carefully and be prepared to quickly defuse the situation. "You take away the control factor," she said.
Yes, Well, You See, I'm Never Wrong
In that case we can take care of those pro lifers* loads water gun of grape juice* since none of them are civil
So Simple
No, No. He's Got A Point
Dumbass. Couldn't Think Of Anything Wittier
If a colleague tells you, "Oh that’s real smart," Paul says she might try responding with this: "Thanks. I don't always receive praise for my intelligence."
Or "That’s the best you can do?" But you can also try: "I'm afraid so. Where do we go from here?"
Don't Be That Guy
Greatest Country In The World!
In parts of Africa we have harmattan. In the US you have " thousand are killed by a reckless government who is more like a corporation than a government" season. I'll take chapped lips over bullets in geometry any day
I Know, It's Absolutely Bonkers
Preacher Speaking God's Word
Ugh, I'm honestly so tired of these nutters coming in here and shoving their religion in our faces.
Another idea is to try and forget your pride and raise the status of the other person. "Status" used in this sense comes from the rules of improvisation theatre, where you have to make your stage partner look good.
Let's say a manager or colleague takes a swipe at you repeatedly. Paul suggests the "status move," which is best conveyed in tone of voice.
They Always Forget About That Part
More humans to work multi jobs for less than minimum wage and live in misery without healthcare paid for. Maybe bring back child labour and really stop the rot of human rights. Next on the list stop women having property rights. In for a penny etc.
Armadillos Are Funny Looking Animals
You don't have to be part of the people to want rights for them, you selfish clodhopper
They Should Know How To Survive Without One Person
Guilting people into staying at work? Tsk tsk, I expected better, capitalism
Louder With Dumbass
"You could respond to 'Would you suggest something better?' with 'Well, I see you've got some great ideas already, but I think we could perhaps make the whole thing work even better,'" said Paul.
"Of course, with the wrong tone, they would all come out nasty. It's not really about the text, so much as it is the tone."
Peta Being Peta
She Works At Mcdonalds
The Hunger Games was meant to inspire us...so let's let it. The elites must pay...us for our efforts
Economics Are Hard
Minimum wage won't cause inflation. Capitalist greed causes inflation. Thank you for coming to my Ted talk
I Think He Just Did
There’s something to be said for killing someone with kindness and often the best retorts are comebacks that are witty, take the higher moral ground, are appropriate, and most importantly, positive.
According to Belina Raffy, a business improvisation consultant who once worked with a condescending manager, when banter turns toxic, it kills all ideas in the office. Even worse, it leaves a negative drag on other people's energy and tears teams apart.
She Literally Wrote A Whole Song About It
Everyone should be allowed to wear whatever they want whenever they want but the world is judgemental and so they criticise people just because of their clothing. People reading this, know that your body is your choice and you can wear whatever you want anytime. Feel free to express yourself, but please never judge people just because of their clothing.
Wendy's Being Wholesome Is Rather Unexpected
That's Because Australia Isn't Real
The Bible is actually dated back to the HUMAN THAT WROTE IT. Moron, I tell thee!!
Her Go To Work A**
Maybe you should stop taking photos of this poor woman doing her job. What a pervert.
When a negative comment is made in a work setting — where, hopefully, everyone wants to see projects succeed and keep their jobs — those comments usually come from a place of insecurity.
For example, a colleague may be unsure how to approach a particular task — he may believe that throwing the attention back to somebody else with a negative retort will remove the focus from his (real or perceived) ineptitude.
Weird Al Yankovic Destroys Kid Rock’s New Music Video
Got Hit With The "Come See Me After Class"
Science teachers need awards for how many of these morons they can educate
Completely And Totally Unnecessary
People who only consider their own survival from illness are both selfish and stupid. The point of vaccination is never for one specific individual to die or survive but to make sure a greater number total survives (and then there's all the people who won't have to live with whatever other issues the diseases might leave behind, like infertility, blindness, chronic fatigue and so on).
Millennials Are Ruining Population Stability
Positive comments are generally a far better tool for keeping projects on track while showing your love of linguistic acrobatics. Others will find the humor in them and negative interactions quickly cease. If a colleague says, "this project is going nowhere fast," you could say, "at least it's going and I intend to steer it in the right direction."
In fact, according to Raffy, positive witty comments build trust among colleagues, bosses, and subordinates, and they can turn a formerly harsh environment into an accepting one, where everyone’s opinion matters.
How Do Pronouns Work
Correlation ≠ Causation
No Statute Of Limitations On Murder
I'm just waiting for these pro lifers to have a loved one with a incompetent womb and no way to survive a pregnancy and see how they handle it
Don't Tag The Person You're Lying About
Nothing burns more than the person you talked about actually confirming its not true
Negative comments, however, do the opposite. "They increase tension, make a person feel excluded or inferior, and as though they are not in the 'in group' which is in the know," she pointed out.
Raffy recommends trying to reveal the "ridiculousness of the situation," without making the antagonist into the villain. It's much better to turn them into the "victim" of the absurd circumstances instead.
Well Yeah, The Whole Thing Was Crap To Begin With
As someone who got in trouble in 7th grade after a boy followed her into the bathroom because I was "annoying" him with my bubble necklace (he kicked me, in the girls' bathroom, but he was a good boy and that couldn't have been his fault) I find it very depressing that this is still where we are. And incidentally, I think any trans ladies I've shared a bathroom with would've helped me kick his a*s.
Languages Are Fun!
Math, Not Even Once
The Single Most British Murder I've Ever Seen
"The best retorts speakthe truth — when a person calls something that the other people didn't see," Paul said. "That's generally what makes us laugh."
And usually, that's the end goal of a witty comeback — to get people to laugh. A shared laugh is a great way to reduce tension. Of course, the "rules" for online banter are a bit different and you generally have more time to work with, but most of these principles still apply.
“Owning The Libs”
Who do you think want your shiny, eco friendly, no need for oil or oil companies car
Seriously? Ireland?!
Win-Win Situation
How pathetic. Just stop putting the rest of us in danger with your antivax b******t, ok??
Meet My Friend, Terry
Lemon Squeezy!
It is a common thing for wealthy people to believe poor people "just don't want to work". If you're the sort of person who might feel bad that you have eight cars and four houses while some people are struggling to feed their children, this helps you feel better about it without actually having to acknowledge that you got lucky and other people didn't.
God Has Nothing To Do With It
You Do You
Facts Aren't As Important As Your Narrative
Even if she was Egyptian, she still wouldn't be black, she would be tan. Americans need to understand that not all Africans are black and not all black people are African Americans.
Bro Hit Him With The Receipt
Note: this post originally had 70 images. It’s been shortened to the top 50 images based on user votes.
Well, if he was smarter he could reach "absolute nightmare" status, but since he is an idiot I suppose he is more like one of those crappy dreams you just want to get out of your head.
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As I read the posts I started with a headache. Further on and it evolved into a migrain. Then a brain tumor. At the end, I'm pretty sure I had a stroke. How do some people function!
I got so angry I couldn't keep reading any more of these... our world is possibly f****d
We ABSOLUTELY need to change some things so people have to be smarter to survive.
Because in some parts of the world, politics are destroying people's lives.
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I love freedom of speech for darker reasons. Identifying those with less gray matter than a bone dry skull in the desert is one of them.
That moron "pastor" misinterpreted every single one of the Bible passages it listed. What else can one expect, though, from someone who clearly practices self-righteousness along with its holier-than-thou attitude!?!
I just don't understand why people are fighting against things not realizing it could benefit "their side' too... You don't want more rights for group B? Ok fine, but that means group A gets less rights too. This is very much a "Jonny can cut the cake but Timmy gets to choose" So be fair to others, and understand whatever you do may come back to bite you
Well, if he was smarter he could reach "absolute nightmare" status, but since he is an idiot I suppose he is more like one of those crappy dreams you just want to get out of your head.
Load More Replies... As I read the posts I started with a headache. Further on and it evolved into a migrain. Then a brain tumor. At the end, I'm pretty sure I had a stroke. How do some people function!
I got so angry I couldn't keep reading any more of these... our world is possibly f****d
We ABSOLUTELY need to change some things so people have to be smarter to survive.
Because in some parts of the world, politics are destroying people's lives.
Load More Replies... I love freedom of speech for darker reasons. Identifying those with less gray matter than a bone dry skull in the desert is one of them.
That moron "pastor" misinterpreted every single one of the Bible passages it listed. What else can one expect, though, from someone who clearly practices self-righteousness along with its holier-than-thou attitude!?!
I just don't understand why people are fighting against things not realizing it could benefit "their side' too... You don't want more rights for group B? Ok fine, but that means group A gets less rights too. This is very much a "Jonny can cut the cake but Timmy gets to choose" So be fair to others, and understand whatever you do may come back to bite you
