You get into an argument with someone, the two of you are going at each other back and forth, and they get you so riled up that you suddenly can't think of a good comeback. Until you're taking a shower two years later.
There's actually a French term for this called l'esprit de l'escalier. It describes the feeling you get when you come up with the perfect reply after the fact.
We've all been there. It's devastating.
So let's take a moment and pay our respects to the people who can, in fact, deliver the goods on the spot. Taken from the appropriately titled subreddit r/MurderedByWords, here are some of the best ways to end a disagreement.
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Australians Are Easily Offended
Because God Told Me To
We use an ingrained sense of morals and ethics!! We don't need some threat of eternal damnation to do something good!!
The only real Christians that I know identify as atheist. Actions, not words.
This couldn't be more true! In my experience growing up in the deep south and raised in wacky churches, atheists tend to be the most "Chris-like" individuals I have known. So-called "Christians" most often represent the antithesis of all of Christ's teachings. Oh, the irony.
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This was the original purpose of religion, it's been going on for millennia. Even now, where fewer societies are strictly religious, fear is still used as a very powerful tool by governments.
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The difference between Christians and Atheists is that Christians have to be told that killing and stealing is wrong. Atheists are smart enough to reach this conclusion on their own.
Once met a girl and her boyfriend who became baptised as newborn Christians after being evangelist on the street. Their reasons were that no matter what they did they knew they would be forgiven and saved. They were seriously nasty types that would laugh at others suffering and snicker if someone was in pain.
Had a flatmate at uni who lost the argument on why I should become an evangelical Christian like she was on this very point! She said if I convert and ask God all my sins would be forgiven. So I said OK, I'll do it on my deathbed and then I'll still get into heaven? She had no reply.
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Detective Rust Cohle (True Detective) : "If the only thing keeping a person decent is the expectation of divine reward, then brother that person is a piece of s**t" This is my absolute favorite quote from the series.
So many good lines in that show - that one is definitely one of the best. My fav is "Maybe the honourable thing for our species to do is deny our programming, stop reproducing, walk hand in hand into extinction, one last midnight - brothers and sisters opting out of a raw deal."
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Rats have empathy. Of course, I could be wrong... Maybe rats help each other because they fear eternal damnation after their 3 years are up.
Morality and Ethics exist 100% separate from Religion. So, (s)he makes the choice the same way as a deist would...and for the same reasons - self interest, or benevolence. -- Regardless of my stance on Religion, I don't walk around raping and murdering people for a simple reason...it is Wrong to do so. Not because I fear the Legal System and Punishment, but because it is Wrong.
Why do Christians think they have a monopoly on empathy and ethics? Even when I identified as a Christian, I wondered that.
Same here, even as a Christian I question the complete a**holes that use religion as an excuse to do whatever they want. There's a lot of people that believe because they're "saved" they'll be fine, no if you just use your common sense and this thing called a brain. Personally I look to God and the bible when I need support and empathy, god knows humans have little to no empathy.
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I flip a coin. Then I can blame it on the coin like some people blame what they do on a book.
THIS. Every time someone says they did something nice because it was 'the Christian thing to do' they just out themselves as a person in all other aspects.
The most horrific, cruel people I know are always Christians. Since their ideology centers on forgiveness, they think they can act like assholes, but it's okay if they say "sorry" after. Christians suck, and could really do with even a cursory read of the book they claim to love so much.
There it is! Pro Tip: if what you're planning to do will hurt someone, don't do it. If you make a mistake, and hurt someone accidentally, you should be utterly appalled and do whatever you can to make amends.
That's what church is for. To remind us of our fallibility. To deny eternal responsibility is unGodly. At least the faithful are striving for rightness instead of "it's not my fault."
I've always believed that we should always try to do the right thing because it's the right thing to do. Not because some cult follower reading from a collection of badly, and oft translated, stories told from the antiquated, mysoginistic, and totally irrelevant point of view of long dead men, thinks it'll save my soul. I will live as I think best. In as ethical a way as I can. No doubt there's a lot of black on my soul. But, it for sure didn't get there because I thought I might be pleasing some mythological guy. I bet countless "religious" folk can't say the same.
Basix human empathy, dude. I treat others the way I wish they would treat me.
Unfortunately, there are only a few Christians that actually behave like their supposed to.
If your religion tells you you should hate someone for being different, you need a new religion.
Perhaps answer with less vitriol :) I believe that if one believes this is the only life, decisions matter very much. There's no forgiveness at the end. However, simultaneously... I don't care what makes a person make good choices and be a force for good. As long as they do so
Seriously, Blake? I've been raised Catholic my whole life. There's something called the natural law: what any human, regardless of religion, knows is right or wrong.
Wow. Both people i. This conversation have an eight year old's level of understanding of both ethics and theology.
i'm a real practicing atheist and to make choice and make difference beetween good and evil we just flip a coin so *coin flipping* yes its okay to eat endangered specie
This is honestly the best response I could have imagined for that question
My favourite one in this vein is the one that asks "Without religion, what's stopping you from raping and killing everyone?" and the answer was "I've raped and killed everyone I've ever wanted to rape and kill. Which is no one, because I'm not a psychopath." Or something like that.
I always wonder why a lot of religious people seem to have trouble deciphering between good and bad choices. Like, it’s not that hard
Blake’s comment is a perfect question. If there is no God, there is no absolute truth. No absolute rule of what is good vs. evil.
This is total misunderstanding of God and Christianity. Unfortunately even many “Christian’s” still have growth to do in this understanding and some put fortH misinformation. TRUE Christians aren’t good bc of the “fear of eternal damnation”. Hell is separation from God. It is the natural consequence of choosing to not want to be with Him. There is No need for fear if you are in relationship with God. Christians dont need to live in fear and you don’t EARN heaven by good works. Its a gift. You either accept relationship with God and long to be with him or you dont. Period. God is love. We do good and love out of our loving relationship with God not out of fear of damnation.
I think it's as simple as they just mean the Devil and Holy Angel on your shoulder analogy...good vs evil....wouldn't believe in them if Atheist.
Eh if the threat of eternal punishment works and they spend their life doing good, its fine. The problem is when the threat of eternal punishment DOESN'T work, and also the number of things christians are convinced are fine to do but are actually evil.
Personally, I use a magic 8-ball to make all of my decisions. Totally just as legit.
It is so easy. Just apply the 'Don't do to other what you don't want to yourself'. You can add 'Do to others what you'd like to have done to yourself' for extra creativity. Voila. Not holy scripture, weird rituals, cutting or piercing bodyparts or thousands of preachers, imams, rabby, prietsts and whatnot needed. Just be kind. Done.
There's a huge difference between being good for moral, ethical, and conventional reasons. Conventional reasoning being that of a threat of harsh punishment/reaction. ;J
I'm a good person because I want to be (never a religious thing tbh), also respect is a thing earned not demanded.
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What is currently happening in the US has shown my that depending on an ingrained sense of right or wrong is not a good metric for defining what is good. Peopl have demonstrated that there definision of the concept of good is too varied
Yeah but on the other hand I 100% know that I don't want the Christian God dictating my ethics and morals, but do I enjoy hanging out with people who do so.
Load More Replies... That's always get me.my good deeds feel invalid because I feel like I'm doing it for God not on my own volition
Witty comebacks can not be planned. They are made in the moment. In a heated argument, timing is everything and that means your answer must be as fast as the words that surprised you. But somewhat counterintuitively, the key to coming up with a winning retort is to hone your listening skills.
According to Abigail Paul, the artistic director at the Theatre Language Studio (TLS) in Frankfurt, people think faster than others speak, giving the listener "extra time" to compose an answer, even while they give the appearance of still listening to what the other person is saying.
Consider this: how many times have you been on a conference call and already had an idea to share, an answer to a question or a solution to a problem before the person on the line has even finished his sentence? The same listening skills and thought processes apply when a conversation turns sour and you need to defend yourself.
What Makes Fetal Heartbeat So Special?
Yeah Homie
If two kids are playing and one has a stick( knowing sticks have the ability to be dangerous), don't you take the stick. If you give them both sticks, something bad will happen. Same with guns
A 16 Year Old Takes Her Shot And Politely Dispatches Her Belittling Elders
Preach sister. That's the sanest thing I've heard all day. Good for you
The question is how to refocus that extra time you have while you're listening.
"Most of us don't listen to the whole message, we are just waiting to make our own points. There is no magic bullet to getting better at listening besides practice," Paul, who teaches improvisation theatre techniques, told the BBC.
One strategy to perfect your listening skills is through a simple game of one-word volleyball, where two people build a story by rapidly taking turns to add a word to what the other said immediately before. The game forces you to listen actively and respond spontaneously.
First Knees, Then Ankles
Oh No! Abort, Ab- Oh Wait
Nope, Not Benny Boy
Rumoured to be a doctor? Wow how to demean someone in one passive aggressive sentence. What an a*s.
Fatality, Fatality
I'm a man, and I've loved fruity drinks since 1997. Since when has fruit been a problem?
"The goal is that we let go of our own ego and our own ideas because a huge part of listening is that you really have to be willing to be changed by what's being said," Paul explained.
In the case of snide remarks, if you know your colleague has a tendency to make them, train your brain to listen to his or her words carefully and be prepared to quickly defuse the situation. "You take away the control factor," she said.
Yes, Well, You See, I'm Never Wrong
In that case we can take care of those pro lifers* loads water gun of grape juice* since none of them are civil
So Simple
No, No. He's Got A Point
Dumbass. Couldn't Think Of Anything Wittier
If a colleague tells you, "Oh that’s real smart," Paul says she might try responding with this: "Thanks. I don't always receive praise for my intelligence."
Or "That’s the best you can do?" But you can also try: "I'm afraid so. Where do we go from here?"
Don't Be That Guy
Greatest Country In The World!
In parts of Africa we have harmattan. In the US you have " thousand are killed by a reckless government who is more like a corporation than a government" season. I'll take chapped lips over bullets in geometry any day
I Know, It's Absolutely Bonkers
Preacher Speaking God's Word
Ugh, I'm honestly so tired of these nutters coming in here and shoving their religion in our faces.
Another idea is to try and forget your pride and raise the status of the other person. "Status" used in this sense comes from the rules of improvisation theatre, where you have to make your stage partner look good.
Let's say a manager or colleague takes a swipe at you repeatedly. Paul suggests the "status move," which is best conveyed in tone of voice.
They Always Forget About That Part
More humans to work multi jobs for less than minimum wage and live in misery without healthcare paid for. Maybe bring back child labour and really stop the rot of human rights. Next on the list stop women having property rights. In for a penny etc.
Armadillos Are Funny Looking Animals
You don't have to be part of the people to want rights for them, you selfish clodhopper
They Should Know How To Survive Without One Person
Guilting people into staying at work? Tsk tsk, I expected better, capitalism
Louder With Dumbass
"You could respond to 'Would you suggest something better?' with 'Well, I see you've got some great ideas already, but I think we could perhaps make the whole thing work even better,'" said Paul.
"Of course, with the wrong tone, they would all come out nasty. It's not really about the text, so much as it is the tone."
Peta Being Peta
She Works At Mcdonalds
The Hunger Games was meant to inspire us...so let's let it. The elites must pay...us for our efforts
Economics Are Hard
Minimum wage won't cause inflation. Capitalist greed causes inflation. Thank you for coming to my Ted talk
I Think He Just Did
There’s something to be said for killing someone with kindness and often the best retorts are comebacks that are witty, take the higher moral ground, are appropriate, and most importantly, positive.
According to Belina Raffy, a business improvisation consultant who once worked with a condescending manager, when banter turns toxic, it kills all ideas in the office. Even worse, it leaves a negative drag on other people's energy and tears teams apart.
She Literally Wrote A Whole Song About It
Everyone should be allowed to wear whatever they want whenever they want but the world is judgemental and so they criticise people just because of their clothing. People reading this, know that your body is your choice and you can wear whatever you want anytime. Feel free to express yourself, but please never judge people just because of their clothing.
Wendy's Being Wholesome Is Rather Unexpected
That's Because Australia Isn't Real
The Bible is actually dated back to the HUMAN THAT WROTE IT. Moron, I tell thee!!
Her Go To Work A**
Maybe you should stop taking photos of this poor woman doing her job. What a pervert.
When a negative comment is made in a work setting — where, hopefully, everyone wants to see projects succeed and keep their jobs — those comments usually come from a place of insecurity.
For example, a colleague may be unsure how to approach a particular task — he may believe that throwing the attention back to somebody else with a negative retort will remove the focus from his (real or perceived) ineptitude.
Weird Al Yankovic Destroys Kid Rock’s New Music Video
Got Hit With The "Come See Me After Class"
Science teachers need awards for how many of these morons they can educate
Completely And Totally Unnecessary
People who only consider their own survival from illness are both selfish and stupid. The point of vaccination is never for one specific individual to die or survive but to make sure a greater number total survives (and then there's all the people who won't have to live with whatever other issues the diseases might leave behind, like infertility, blindness, chronic fatigue and so on).
Millennials Are Ruining Population Stability
Positive comments are generally a far better tool for keeping projects on track while showing your love of linguistic acrobatics. Others will find the humor in them and negative interactions quickly cease. If a colleague says, "this project is going nowhere fast," you could say, "at least it's going and I intend to steer it in the right direction."
In fact, according to Raffy, positive witty comments build trust among colleagues, bosses, and subordinates, and they can turn a formerly harsh environment into an accepting one, where everyone’s opinion matters.
How Do Pronouns Work
Correlation ≠ Causation
No Statute Of Limitations On Murder
I'm just waiting for these pro lifers to have a loved one with a incompetent womb and no way to survive a pregnancy and see how they handle it
Don't Tag The Person You're Lying About
Nothing burns more than the person you talked about actually confirming its not true
Negative comments, however, do the opposite. "They increase tension, make a person feel excluded or inferior, and as though they are not in the 'in group' which is in the know," she pointed out.
Raffy recommends trying to reveal the "ridiculousness of the situation," without making the antagonist into the villain. It's much better to turn them into the "victim" of the absurd circumstances instead.
Well Yeah, The Whole Thing Was Crap To Begin With
As someone who got in trouble in 7th grade after a boy followed her into the bathroom because I was "annoying" him with my bubble necklace (he kicked me, in the girls' bathroom, but he was a good boy and that couldn't have been his fault) I find it very depressing that this is still where we are. And incidentally, I think any trans ladies I've shared a bathroom with would've helped me kick his a*s.
Languages Are Fun!
Math, Not Even Once
The Single Most British Murder I've Ever Seen
"The best retorts speakthe truth — when a person calls something that the other people didn't see," Paul said. "That's generally what makes us laugh."
And usually, that's the end goal of a witty comeback — to get people to laugh. A shared laugh is a great way to reduce tension. Of course, the "rules" for online banter are a bit different and you generally have more time to work with, but most of these principles still apply.
“Owning The Libs”
Who do you think want your shiny, eco friendly, no need for oil or oil companies car
Seriously? Ireland?!
Win-Win Situation
How pathetic. Just stop putting the rest of us in danger with your antivax b******t, ok??
Meet My Friend, Terry
Lemon Squeezy!
It is a common thing for wealthy people to believe poor people "just don't want to work". If you're the sort of person who might feel bad that you have eight cars and four houses while some people are struggling to feed their children, this helps you feel better about it without actually having to acknowledge that you got lucky and other people didn't.
God Has Nothing To Do With It
You Do You
Facts Aren't As Important As Your Narrative
Even if she was Egyptian, she still wouldn't be black, she would be tan. Americans need to understand that not all Africans are black and not all black people are African Americans.
Bro Hit Him With The Receipt
Note: this post originally had 70 images. It’s been shortened to the top 50 images based on user votes.
Well, if he was smarter he could reach "absolute nightmare" status, but since he is an idiot I suppose he is more like one of those crappy dreams you just want to get out of your head.
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As I read the posts I started with a headache. Further on and it evolved into a migrain. Then a brain tumor. At the end, I'm pretty sure I had a stroke. How do some people function!
I got so angry I couldn't keep reading any more of these... our world is possibly f****d
We ABSOLUTELY need to change some things so people have to be smarter to survive.
Because in some parts of the world, politics are destroying people's lives.
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I love freedom of speech for darker reasons. Identifying those with less gray matter than a bone dry skull in the desert is one of them.
That moron "pastor" misinterpreted every single one of the Bible passages it listed. What else can one expect, though, from someone who clearly practices self-righteousness along with its holier-than-thou attitude!?!
I just don't understand why people are fighting against things not realizing it could benefit "their side' too... You don't want more rights for group B? Ok fine, but that means group A gets less rights too. This is very much a "Jonny can cut the cake but Timmy gets to choose" So be fair to others, and understand whatever you do may come back to bite you
Well, if he was smarter he could reach "absolute nightmare" status, but since he is an idiot I suppose he is more like one of those crappy dreams you just want to get out of your head.
Load More Replies... As I read the posts I started with a headache. Further on and it evolved into a migrain. Then a brain tumor. At the end, I'm pretty sure I had a stroke. How do some people function!
I got so angry I couldn't keep reading any more of these... our world is possibly f****d
We ABSOLUTELY need to change some things so people have to be smarter to survive.
Because in some parts of the world, politics are destroying people's lives.
Load More Replies... I love freedom of speech for darker reasons. Identifying those with less gray matter than a bone dry skull in the desert is one of them.
That moron "pastor" misinterpreted every single one of the Bible passages it listed. What else can one expect, though, from someone who clearly practices self-righteousness along with its holier-than-thou attitude!?!
I just don't understand why people are fighting against things not realizing it could benefit "their side' too... You don't want more rights for group B? Ok fine, but that means group A gets less rights too. This is very much a "Jonny can cut the cake but Timmy gets to choose" So be fair to others, and understand whatever you do may come back to bite you
